Assassin's Creed

[00:00:01] Blank Check with Griffin and David, Blank Check with Griffin and David Don't know what to say or to expect All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check Our own lives are nothing, the apple is everything

[00:00:24] The spirit of the eagle will watch over the future Where other men blindly follow the truth Remember nothing is true Where other men are limited by morality or law Remember everything is permitted Traba-hamos in la Ascurandad para Servir a la Luz Somos podcast

[00:00:49] Hello and welcome to Blank Check with Griffin and David I'm your guest host this week That's right producer Ben It's taking over the pod You're looking at us like you're waiting for us to challenge that But no it is your podcast this week Yeah, yeah

[00:01:06] And I'm gonna discuss a really important film In the canon of cinema in general An important work A contribution To media in general You keep looking at us, you got this You keep on waiting for us to tell you no Dive off the building

[00:01:27] Do a leap of faith Oh baby We're not stopping you Alright Well get on the train Cause here we go Assassin's Creed Right, now we on this podcast And tell people what podcast this is Ben I did already It's Blank Check with Griffin and David

[00:01:45] This is a podcast about directors, filmographies You know the kind of guys who have massive Oh girls who have massive success Guys and gals Have massive success early on in their career Issued by Hollywood a series of blank checks Make whatever kind of crazy passion products they want

[00:02:02] Now sometimes this check's clear And sometimes they bounce baby Right, now sometimes on this show We hand the checkbook to you In between mini series little palette plans So we say Ben pick a movie And you tend to pick a movie that you watch

[00:02:16] On loop when you were growing up And those movies tend to be Opportunities To talk about movie stars They tend to be films that are less director driven Made people who haven't made very many films Aren't very well known

[00:02:30] But are real vehicles for a sort of seminal movie star To you And this is kind of one of those movies Even though Fastbender might not be your guy This is a movie where the blank check was clearly Everyone saying Michael Fastbender Is a movie star, right

[00:02:44] He's gonna have some big franchise at some point And he signed on to do an Assassin's Creed movie A while before it got made And he was able to Take his favorite Weird moody Australian filmmaker That's right, Justin Curzel Right, and

[00:03:01] Look how moody he looks in this photo On his Wikipedia page Wow, that's a frown But this feels like a movie where Michael Fastbender just threw his weight around Was like if I'm doing this you're gonna let me make My kind of movie

[00:03:15] And he was very hands on with the whole project He was signed on to this thing for like Six or seven years I think he signed on in like 2012-13 Somewhere around there And so that's right You're saying

[00:03:29] Not only is this a Ben's choice in which we give Ben the checkbook and he gets to write his own check To talk about this fucking movie But also There's a blank checkie A whiff of blank checkiness to this one There is, there certainly is

[00:03:43] Do you know who Justin Curzl is married to? Essie Davis Which I didn't know who's in Yeah, she's But she's She's not in it much but she's Yeah, it's a pivotal role She's the lead in the Babadook And what are those Mystery series Mystery

[00:04:05] Oh you mean like that She has like a long running BBC When you said mystery series It's called Misfisher's Murder Mysteries I was like a mystery series Like what's this She's a great She rules, I love Essie Davis Yeah, recently I've been making a lot of jokes

[00:04:24] Because my friends are having kids now About like what if you took your kid to the doctor And they told you that your kid was a Babadook Yeah and they were like everything looks good We ran all the tests, the only problem is Wait, wait, positive for Babadook

[00:04:36] You're gonna need to Vomit a bunch of black oil in your basement Or whatever happens in that movie I've told you Have you been picking up any weird picture books Yeah, I've been picking up a few of them But I don't know if it's the ones that are

[00:04:50] That are really the cause That's the vector I told you, my mom hates horror films And I dragged her to see the Babadook And I was just like I just think he really liked this And then she sat there and she turned me She was like

[00:05:06] This is like a movie about me raising you And I was like, oh right That's why unconsciously Like I was this weird kid So you probably had the bars on the way 11G is in Griffin Yeah, we had bars on the way You were in apartment 11G

[00:05:23] Were you in apartment 11G? Really? That's really weird But the same city we both grew up in You lived in apartment in York City Your entire childhood I lived on 89th street Part of my mom had lived in since she moved to New York

[00:05:39] A little kid and then when you were an older kid And then through the rest of the world And she Yeah, we were in apartment 11G That's just funny I feel very defined by 11G I know, I still have When I moved out

[00:05:55] I took down the 11th floor sign That was posted in the hallway And of course Ben the sign on your dirt said Condemn do not enter That's right Very good Stay off porch Have you I've had too many trips to LA recently La La Land

[00:06:21] La La Land itself A city I like about as much as I like that movie Wow I like La La Land And I like to visit LA once in a while I'm being too harsh I don't hate La La Land the movie

[00:06:35] I do think I like that movie less than most people Because it reminds me of the city I think that's the more fair And yet I know some Angelinos I don't think it reminds me of the city Yeah, well those people are being dishonest

[00:06:48] There's a thing in LA If you go to almost any place There's like a little sign outside the door It says Note the air and water in California May cause cancer It's like statue, like two seven water Do detested Like there's that plaque

[00:07:06] My girlfriend I went to a Starbucks And she was like wait what the fuck does this sign say It's saying we wave any liability And she was like why is this Starbucks Telling me there might be cancer in the coffee

[00:07:16] And we looked up and it's like oh no Like all businesses and hotels are Legally required to say That the air and water And the radioactive waste in California May give you a little bit of cancer A little touch of the of the cancer

[00:07:30] A little touch of the bobbin Anyway, this is your episode Okay so I never played the game You're not a gamer You're not a gamer at all You've asked us a couple times in the last couple years Like should I get into gaming

[00:07:44] Yeah, yeah I just I fell off after 64 That was your system Your golden eye guy Who's your character Who's the little You played odd job Yes that's not cool You can't odd job Why? Because he's so short Yeah, in golden eye

[00:08:09] In the movie he is not particularly diminutive I think he's supposed to be a little smaller Because the whole point is it's sort of like Well this guy seems unthreatening He's dressed like a butler He's certainly I mean he's thick I've been rewatching He's a chunky boy

[00:08:27] There is no question that he's a big chunky I mean Ben says little guy playable in golden eye And I'm racking in my head right here Going like was her favorite village has a playable character In golden eye What little guy But no in golden eye he is

[00:08:41] A little shorter which makes him harder to shoot Because you have to sort of like aim down a little bit Whereas Jaws is the worst character to play Because he's very tall And you can just get him right in the head

[00:08:51] Does he throw the hat or does he just fire a gun In golden eye He's just like a skin And you're really just seeing the arm I played it but it was like not a game that had A big imprint on me

[00:09:03] Like because we were like a Nintendo 64 family We didn't have a video game system forever It was like years of like James and I filibustering To get a system in the house And so like I have a lot of N64 nostalgia

[00:09:16] And it took me like 10 years to realize Like oh that was the game for everyone else Right Blitz was great You're not really a shooter I'm not a shooter, I don't like shooting games I don't like that kind of right

[00:09:30] So Assassin's Creed you've never played in your life No, not there and there's like four billion of those games They release like two a year Because the whole thing is it's like Sort of somewhat stealthy A lot of stabbing

[00:09:42] And then they can kind of just do a new version Every time set in another historical period Like they do proper sequels But then they also do like sort of like Spina Fii style Here's a reskinning It's the same game engine but now it's pirates or whatever

[00:09:56] Yeah, they've done a pirate one They did an American Revolutionary War one They've done many ancient Greece They did a Lehman Brothers one I think I'm trying, I actually want to run I'm coming with the jokes today Because the one in this is original To this film

[00:10:12] Which is not like a conquistador Like there's not a Spanish Inquisition one Because did Ubisoft Fully self-finance this movie Let's look it up Ubisoft in the early 2010s Was like we know that everyone else Has fucked up making video game movies

[00:10:28] And we think the reason why they fucked up Is because they handed off to studios And the game developers themselves didn't have any involvement And they announced a slate of like 15 films They sold the rights off to like a thousand places Because around this same time

[00:10:41] They announced that Tom Hardy is going to do What's the Tom Clancy game Rainbow Six Yes That's one of them The Division as well Because Jake Gyllenhaal was supposed to do the Division The Division But they announced like Tom Hardy is doing Rainbow Six

[00:10:59] And they announced that all the guys who are like The next big movie stars The respected actors who haven't gotten their own Big franchise yet And we're attaching them We're attaching big directors and we're making all these films They fucking like set up like just dance at Lionsgate

[00:11:13] The like sub dance dance revolution game Like they were just setting everything up And then this was their first big one And for years they were like We're taking our time because we're going to get it right And we're not just going to adapt the game

[00:11:25] We're going to make a totally original story And it's set within the universe So it doesn't overlap with the game itself And they brought on in 2012 Michael Fassbender Who at that point I guess is probably mostly still The guy from Inglourious Bastards Had the first X-Men come out

[00:11:42] Maybe his class would have come out So he had a little bit of Yeah He was kind of tapped I remember reading this Terry Gilliam interview In 2010 Where he was like You need a hardbender in your movie And the interviewer said

[00:12:00] They either want Tom Hardy or Michael Fassbender Those are the two guys English guys with some grit I mean Fassbender is Irish They're serious actors But they have movie star qualities And it feels like they're going to be the next big dudes And they're still kind of cheap

[00:12:16] Right They're still pretty cheap That's one reason he was in Steve Jobs He's affordable Those were pricey guys Sony wouldn't make it at the budget they wanted And they were like A million But these two guys have integrity They haven't sold out They paid their dues They're handsome

[00:12:40] They're posing physical presences Get them a franchise And so it felt like Both Hardy and Fassbender are going to do these video game movies The Hardy one he never seems to talk about in interviews It seems to have fallen by the wayside

[00:12:53] What was the Hardy one going to be? Rainbow Six But at this time, Fassbender anytime he's promoting anything It's like And we're working to get it right I really think there's an opportunity here to do something with it He produced It's a weird movie He makes this

[00:13:11] The foggiest movie ever made Justin Kersel's McBeth Which have you seen that? No It's got a similar visual vibe You've seen it And it also has Mary on Cotillard Lady McBeth But it's like Fassbender and Cotillard And Patty Considine All these great actors It's very foggy And moody

[00:13:39] And whispery And intense And dirty battle scenes This is a more visceral Shakespeare movie than I've ever seen anyone make And it's one of those movies That's so aesthetically tight without feeling hermetic And I saw it with a friend of mine Future guest, Jordan Fish

[00:13:58] Or at this point he'll have been a past guest And we walked out of it And I was like that guy is doing Assassin's Creed next Right And they were basically back They were very close together I think

[00:14:10] Right and I was like if that guy can make a $100 million blockbuster That looks like that He might finally break the notion of the video game curse And here's what happened They cast Marion They initially cast Alicia Vikander as well As the lady assassin The female assassin

[00:14:28] And she dropped out to do Jason Bourne Which is sort of like a lateral move I don't know if she would have gained anything from that And were Fassbender and her together at this time? That's a great question Because they are now married

[00:14:40] They got married two years later I think they got together Making the life between oceans which is the year after So they could have fell in love A year earlier but they had to wait For that light That ocean light What's between it

[00:14:56] They were two ships in the night looking for the light Instead they cast Yorgos Lanthimos's wife Ariane Labed They're married She's in Alps I believe she was one of my blankie picks For best supporting actress that year Right I think she was I certainly intended to nominate her

[00:15:16] For the lobster she's the maid She's incredible And so they cast her instead She's fun in this A mostly hooded performance If you're in the assassin part A lot of hood wearing When they announced that Jeremy Irons and Charlotte Rampling Were in this movie

[00:15:36] Those people don't do movies like this Well right But I think the pitch to Irons is probably You come to this set for three weeks You have some shadowy conversations Then you leave I think the pitch to all these people was

[00:15:51] We're somehow going to make a $115 million art move Yeah and it's like We've assembled here We've got good actors We've got an interesting director You'll have to talk about an apple from time to time Rampling will do anything Rampling and Marion Cardiardo On the same conspiracy theory board

[00:16:09] Probably anyway French actress conspiracy theory board Marion Cardiardo believes this film is real She believes the Knights Templar control everything There's just no question That's how they got her to sign on to the film Where they said, hey we're doing a documentary It's about the Knights Templar

[00:16:25] And she's like of course They have been in battle with the assassins for a thousand years The apple The apple La Manzana She kept on wondering why they referred to it As a fictional film But she thought she was just recording Talking Head testimonials

[00:16:44] And they just cut around here Bowfinger style When Infinity War came out And people were like It's like a fucking Experimental art film Disguised as a superhero movie This is actually like An experimental art film Disguised as a $125 million video game adaptation But when it came out

[00:17:06] I think what you're interpreting is Experimental, which I think is fair It was the crazy thing I feel like most critics Responded to this Like it was one of the Resident Evil movies Which you and I both agree Don't get enough credit

[00:17:22] You understand why it's easier to discount something Like Resident Evil One of these complicated video game things I can't understand what's going on First of all I don't understand how Less than 10% of critics Made any mention of the fact Gorgeous Doesn't look like any film of this size

[00:17:42] The sequences are all so Well done How did you watch this movie I watched on Apple TV Because I watched My story with the Cessna's screen You're gonna have to run down One of the 15 times you watch That was on I did not see this film

[00:18:04] At any kind of press screening for press it was probably not it like a lot of Christmas day and there's always that one movie in the Christmas mix right you can feel like the studio is just

[00:18:16] like let's just sneak in here with not telling anyone about it right you know so if it was screened for the press I was not invited or I didn't attend and you play the games no I played him but I don't really play him and so instead

[00:18:30] on like Christmas Eve or something like some random day Joey and I my brother yeah just we're like fuck it I mean let's catch assassin let's get you know that's the kind of movie you and Joey see exactly and we just went to the

[00:18:42] Regal Court Street right you know saw it with like two or three other people yeah and I just remember it looking like a mess like it was probably like the projection probably wasn't great it may have been dark and I just remember

[00:18:55] being like I don't even fucking know what's going on in this movie like any sequence that's dark yeah I struggled don't you think it was kind of the same thing though that happened with so low we're like we saw solo in really

[00:19:06] good projection purposefully underlit and so if you're not projecting it well it's just gonna be so dark but you start to wonder like is there a method to the madness of all the Marvel movies looking so bland because he shoots like

[00:19:19] Kevin Feige make sure to shoot and color balance them in a way yeah where you can't really mis-project them right whereas when like a big tentpole film like this goes out on a limb and like hasn't a weird interesting like you

[00:19:32] know color palette right and like shadow scheme and everything that then most people are like it just looks like mud like I can't see it but then yeah for this episode I purchased this film yeah in 4k yeah I rented it in 4k on my Apple

[00:19:47] TV and I gotta say it looks terrific unbelievable I now have like you know the problem I've got a 4k TV and a player so it like it can make it look all fancy but it looks great like incredible yeah yeah yeah like this film

[00:20:02] should have been nominated for like every like craft category at the Academy Awards like this should have been only for cinematography for art direction for costumes yeah now I'll say this I got a lot of aesthetic pleasure from this

[00:20:18] movie yeah and I got a lot of excitement from just like wow they're really like somehow no cooks in the kitchen I don't know if it's because Ubisoft took the control of this movie and they hadn't made movies before or if

[00:20:30] everyone was so desperate to overcome the like video game ghetto that they were like let's go as hoity-toity as we can right because we you know want to try to prove it you can make one of these movies with some intelligence yeah so

[00:20:42] all of that was exciting to me I could not get my head around the plot of this movie and the two other films that I like compare it to are primer and Soda Brick's Heywire where I'm like I think this thing is well made I I don't

[00:20:57] know whether I understand anything that's happening by the end of Assassin's Creed I will say I felt like I retrospectively got it a little bit more than with either of those films with both of those films I'm like maybe if I watch this

[00:21:10] four more times I could untangle it I'm not unhappy watching this because I think it's well made but I just don't know what's going on a scene to the scene basis Assassin's Creed I finally sort of got on a on a basic level

[00:21:21] by the end of it but because it's so aesthetically pleasing I'm like fuck I might watch this two more times like I see what Ben's getting at I will say there's a lot to dig into in this I only saw it you know I saw it in

[00:21:33] Gators was kind of like you kind of like what's going on yeah second time on you know my rewatch I was kind of like I'm beginning to grasp yeah the spine of this thing right the spine gonna need been to maybe lay some

[00:21:47] details out yeah I assume you've seen this film more than anyone including like Michael fast under his family yeah 100% right you seen this more than the editor of this film has seen this movie right no but don't you think there's

[00:21:58] a thing too with like when critics reviewed it that they were just like I don't know I haven't played the games I don't understand what's going on here like they assumed because the film is so dense and kind of obtuse

[00:22:08] that it was because they didn't get it because they hadn't played the games rather than that it's a movie that you have to kind of work with yeah you know like I remember seeing the Warcraft movie with my friend who's a big like wow

[00:22:22] person okay and he kept on leaning over to me being like that's a thing from the game no but but this movie doesn't do this movie doesn't do that but the Warcraft movies insane because it's a prequel to the games like right so

[00:22:33] deep in the lore and this is a little deep in the lore too I think but that's my point is that World of Warcraft it's like kind of like these things don't have any meaning to you unless you understand their power in

[00:22:44] relation to what the games later do yeah whereas this movie everything that's confusing about it isn't any more clear if you've played the games yeah because it's like spinning its own wheel entirely yeah I mean I feel like from

[00:22:57] what I understand the games are a lot less based in the machinations of the animus than this is right well games are more just kind of playing the thing with that is like the basic super structure yes although I do think you

[00:23:12] switch it's got the animus and it's got the idea of genetic memories yeah and you do I think you do do some playing in like the real world but it has that whole concept it's but is the ratio I mean because this is like 70% animus

[00:23:26] 30% like the actual it's 70% real world 30% in the animus yeah I feel like the game is a 65 35 sure tops but the game is maybe flipped from that correct I think so this also is one of those video game movies like when people say like edge

[00:23:43] of tomorrow is the best video game movie because it's one of the few movies that understands this sort of storytelling the advantages of having to replay something over and over again right this movie kind of does the

[00:23:53] same thing because it's sort of a movie about playing a video game well okay that's why I love this which is what's interesting it's and we're gonna dig into that yeah but now I think Ben should yeah because Ben Ben we want to

[00:24:04] know your journey this is also one of those things where you you didn't just like sit down with us and say like opening weekend I saw that and I loved it like you've sort of crept up on us with this news that this is one of

[00:24:17] your most watched films yes because every other sprinkle that in every other Ben's choice is like I've seen this movie 15 times starting when I was nine and this one is like you know guys I've seen this movie 15 times in the 18 months

[00:24:29] since it went up on HBO go right it's a thing it's a recent movie what's it for you two three years one out of every five records before we record you go like I watch Creed again last night and we're like the coogler great the

[00:24:43] great coogler movie right you're like no assassin's great you just keep see right I just had to keep coming back for more when you can't fall asleep yeah you watch this movie yep this became so alright I saw it on HBO yeah and I was

[00:25:01] in theaters did not see a theaters yeah I was very hungover I remember my harvest right it was something it was something that you very much watched because it was on not something you actively sought out not something you were in any

[00:25:14] way interested in when they came out on the game yes no I just I was care about fast bender like I'm trying to wonder what kind of indifferent so you were just kind of like assassin's Creed must be it was literally just on I straight up was

[00:25:26] like assassins are cool okay yeah play yeah play okay and and you said that into your remote yeah yeah and it just started yeah right and it knew where you were right and sir he was like I got you the algorithm was like of course

[00:25:42] there's one movie in particular you could either see a assassins or assassin's Creed and I'll tell you you don't want to see a second and I started sort of half watching it and then I found myself just drawn into yeah the the time travel

[00:25:58] or going back in time those like sequences yeah I like loved it because it a I was just like I don't even know what this time period of the world was like at all sure I've never seen anyone do something about the 1500s yeah so

[00:26:15] it's kind of like alright this is weird there's a weird take and you like dirty stuff I mean this is one of those period movies where it's like you get the sense of how like difficult those times actually were yeah like it doesn't

[00:26:27] look hermetically recreated it's like this is a movie that looks like it has gangrene yeah you know yeah like you're just like God this time must have smelled awful yes now here's the thing I'm just assuming you reacted to this I

[00:26:46] react to this very strongly when I went to see this with Joey I was kind of like early could give it a good review early is a little bit of what to his credit

[00:26:52] one of the only people who was like this is the best video game movie ever made and I don't mean that as a backhanded he's like this genuinely is an interesting movie Matt singer had also said you know expressed yeah claim for

[00:27:05] and like when that opening card comes up and it's like for centuries man has hunted for the apple of Eden I'm like excuse me hello that's the craziest thing so like a this movie is like a meta narrative

[00:27:17] about the experience of playing video games and be this movie is about trying to find the cure for violence and maybe free will yeah yeah which is also tied up in video gaming and if anything this movie doesn't have

[00:27:32] enough apple talk like a lot of apple talk I want less good I want more roof slide and we're in we're in a fight right now you know that whole rules and I don't want more but like I have a fucking apple at the end I'm like what's

[00:27:47] the apple tell me what it is kind of it's God's apple all right they sort of hinted at each and aliens scenario right they sort of say like some long lost civilization may have given us this apple so you think I did not

[00:28:03] pick up on it and the courtyard says in one of her info you think the movie is implying that what we perceive to be the apple from the garden of Eden was actually an alien apple and we've converted into that story over generations

[00:28:15] the Bible is like symbolic yeah right right okay so the apple does is imbued with like some weird science possibly but I also think the movie could be about literally trying to like get back to like God's perfect

[00:28:29] world like I don't think this movie necessarily doesn't believe in a literal God and a literal garden of evil you know I mean it's like these are that's the other thing this movie is like leaving it open to

[00:28:43] interpretation he is and also to sequels that right will never come but you go why poor box office yes well this episode is going to change that yeah this might be the first movie that actually ends up making a profit

[00:28:58] solely from Ben rewashing it if you keep out of for another 15 years they might eventually you're gonna like run to the black director yeah you're gonna direct right you'll be like the state film should be assassin screen

[00:29:13] you're gonna revitalize the new jersey economy by getting them to commit to making a 200 million dollar tassins Creed sequel shot entirely in Jersey City yeah as we park maybe you know you could go to the

[00:29:27] so Ben so you watch it on hip oh go it should be a go I do and then I find myself then a week later doing it again right and again and lost your free will

[00:29:41] some kind of animus or genetic memory this was one of those movies for you were like much like Wreck-it Ralph although this becomes more regular rotation like while you're in a relationship when you can't sleep at

[00:29:51] night and your girlfriends asleep you're like fuck I gotta do something you start watching this relentless on the creep right throw on the create and just start relaxing yeah that's that for you for me recently that's a good I mean

[00:30:03] taxi was working that way for a while I think going down weird rabbit holes I've been sound good no you know what I've been watching a lot lately I don't hot ones hot ones hot ones I'm like starting to think like is this the best

[00:30:19] TV show anyone's ever made what it's like a one good show on YouTube okay right and not really ever dealt dove into that me neither and this is like I'm all in on hot ones is this guy Sean Evans and he interviews like big people but

[00:30:35] at the table and it's like a Charlie Rose style eating like chicken wings or something like an aware of increasing hot sauces like increasing spiciness and he's a really good interviewer sure he's one of those guys where it's like

[00:30:49] he's clearly not somebody trained to be an on camera personality so he seems kind of stilted at first but he clearly does all his own research and ask people really good questions and it's like Nally Portman comes in or like

[00:31:01] Gordon Ramsey or there's a lot of these how long are they like 20 to 30 minutes right like they're full-sized things but it's a really good interview show and then the other incredible thing is as they start like the first three wings

[00:31:14] everyone makes it through right and then like four through six are kind of tough and then seven through ten they're losing their mind and it's just like he's just on this reason yeah right I can't handle spicy food no he talks

[00:31:27] about he's like tearing down the wall of like the carefully manufactured personas that all these public celebrities have and that's a way to do it you're making them physically vulnerable right and they're just like physically vulnerable like crying trying to answer these questions honestly that are

[00:31:41] actually pretty deep insightful questions or just he's done his research of things that no one ever thinks about it's really good the Shaq one's incredible but yeah anyway I've been watching that a lot of relax okay

[00:31:56] that I like that actually I'm gonna take my recommendation and I didn't even realize that this movie had become a thing I mean now my ex my ex at one point was like you're fucking watching this stupid assassin movie again I'm like I

[00:32:07] guess you're right I am how many times have I watched this oh like more than 10 times the last three months it's almost like you don't have free will like your destined to repeat the cycle of watching this joke twice a nice a second

[00:32:19] time okay I stole your um Jupiter sent you did so that's payback yeah so okay so let's get this back on track sure so I was sort of just mentioning it over the

[00:32:30] I don't know it's doing currently a sort of a pinch of salt to mention it just kind of peppering it out to the boys and eventually I was like hey you know

[00:32:41] what we got room on the sketch can I do maybe a bench choice we had we had vaguely penciled in King Ralph Ralph is the sort of like episode that will never come right we're always like well we could do King Ralph there right

[00:32:55] yeah and at a certain point all three of us were just like we should just do the crate right I mean it feels like we're avoiding the obvious and King Ralph is in the vibe of things we've done with you already like Fletch yeah you know 80s

[00:33:06] comedies right early night you know that that's um this is not in that this is new territory yeah this is very new terror this is dark territory there's a very dark real dark oh yeah yeah dusty the dark and dusty yeah but good I do

[00:33:22] think it's good I do I think it's good too I think it's good it's an unusual yeah thing yes and that's what I think yeah I don't know why I've just gravitated to it maybe because of that it's just to me even watching it now I watched it

[00:33:36] twice yeah before recording this episode recently and it's just it's such a strange look into maybe what films could be in the future kind of thing right right and there is this aspect of just like so many of these films over this size

[00:33:54] are so micromanaged as part of like brand silos that if you see something that has like 20 personality in it you're like this one's really good and then this movie you're just like it feels like no one fucked with this yeah it does it

[00:34:07] feels like they developed a script that you can see how this script could be made into a more conventional movie right and fastbender was like if we use the script you're cool with me hiring my people and we can do whatever

[00:34:18] the fuck we want and they were like yeah and then they made a really big really expensive really slowly paced movie about like cycles of violence yeah that kind of doesn't go anywhere no like it's much like warcraft and in fact it's sort

[00:34:35] of a lot of setup for future shit like yeah I mean you know the assassins do gather at the end but you watch something like warcraft and you're like this movie is failing to pull off like lord of the rings at 100% and you

[00:34:47] watch this movie and you're like this movie is pulling off whatever it's trying to do this movie is pulling off question mark question mark question mark question mark right like the struggle with this movie is can you get on the

[00:34:56] wavelength of what this movie is doing but I have no doubt that this movie is like entirely the execution of what everyone intended to make I think you're right um I've and certainly there was never any like

[00:35:10] fastbender giving interviews later where he was like that movie got taken away from us or anything like that no he was like involved in post-production all of it yeah he was like start to finish on this project yeah um at the same time well I guess

[00:35:23] well certainly cursal has not made another movie he's doing a ned kelly gang movie now it but that's in sort of like tba status isn't it like I don't know what's up with that I think he'll go back to doing another small

[00:35:32] Australian movie yeah fastbender I guess you know this is the start of a bad run for fastbender not the start it's kind of the middle of it yeah fast the story of fastbender's career is very much like

[00:35:45] he has the x-men movies which do pretty well right they're not you know maybe marvel level hits but they do pretty well yeah and then apart from that everything he does is a failure right I would say the exception to that

[00:35:57] is the alien prequels do do okay yeah and he's wonderful but but covenant did half of what yeah they're not for me they're not doing what studio wants right the x-men films are

[00:36:08] certainly dip in yeah they dip and the other thing was for a while it was like oh but he's giving these really great dramatic performances in between well in the last four or five years Assassin's Creed he does

[00:36:18] oh no the year before Steve Jobs right but but right after this his prestige plays stop working as well well like light between oceans that's actually before this that same same year okay 20s they're both 2016 movies

[00:36:31] right this is the year where things get a little rough for him 100% this year he had apocalypse light between oceans something called trespass against us which i think was like a tiny indie movie

[00:36:42] um but then you go like to creed song to song next year he had sung the song which was shot in like you know the stone age right the snowman that alyn covenant and the snowman right he hasn't made a movie since the

[00:36:54] snowman right he's got dark you know man tried to make snowman a movie I like yeah no it's in tried it's it's I did the same thing where I'm like I like this director yeah I like snowmen

[00:37:03] yes I like fast bender is an actor the promotion of the yeah it was good give you all the clues you love harry holes I do love harry hole oh and the holes and I like kilmer yeah I know and then

[00:37:16] oof you watch that movie not looking he's overdubbed he was sick like it's very sick yeah and then I mean that's we have we talked about it you know Alfred sim was like yeah we didn't finish it yeah like literally like we

[00:37:28] we didn't finish it and they just like rather than give you money to finish it we'll just edit this together into something that runs the length of a movie right without being one I've talked about this

[00:37:41] I feel like too much recently but like I feel like people ask me all the time now like oh just like now that you've like worked more like does it ruin watching movies and tv for you now that you like

[00:37:52] know how it's made and I'm like the only way it ruins it for me is when I watch stuff like that I just have a panic attack when I like watch something like snowman where they like yeah I have like a

[00:38:03] flashback and I'm just like oh Jesus Christ I know what it feels like on set when they tell you hey we're just not going to be able to shoot these six pages you could just see stress I can I feel it really

[00:38:13] I feel it like yeah I can see the stress on screen and I can feel what it felt like in the moment like I have it's like the animus link it's like the the needle goes into my spine

[00:38:24] and I'm just on set when they announce like um so uh they pulled our budget so we're just not going to shoot scene 24, 26 or 29 and you're like those scenes are important aren't they yeah those are those

[00:38:37] like the end of the movie yeah well we're not going to do it yeah that's my Assassin's Creed is like watching the snowman and being like I have lived past lives as an actor on underfunded projects it's in my dna the snowman I think was just

[00:38:53] it's the rare time when the studio is like you know what it'll never be good yeah if we gave you the money it'd be bad so you know what we just won't but one of those crazy things where it was like almost a martin Scorsese Leonardo Caprio

[00:39:03] project yeah and then became a Michael Fassbender Alfredson right project that then wasn't even finished right yeah not finished um but Assassin's Creed was finished so the low low cost of 125 million $125 million dollars now the Assassin's Creed games do sell

[00:39:22] yes but there's never been much correlation between video games that sell and video game movies that do well because no video game movie has ever done no it's the one thing they're always trying to crack is like

[00:39:34] shouldn't this be a built-in audience that will all show up but the problem is that video game fans are so fucking cynical they are and they tend to be uh yeah they you know they're a little mean sometimes right

[00:39:45] so it's just like they sniff it from a mile away and they're just like fuck this can you tell me the number one video game movie of all time the number one highest grossing video game movie of all time is the first Tomb Raider correct 131 million dollars yeah

[00:39:58] number two is the Angry Birds movie which i guess counts yeah number three is rampage and which also fuck off it's not a video game no like sure there was an arcade it's so loosely based off that and now we are done with

[00:40:12] uh hundred million dollar grossing and video game films right you know nexus prince of persia which is by all a flop a huge flop next is pokemon which okay right i guess detective peek at you is almost

[00:40:23] guaranteed yeah to make the run to number one here and it literally is based on a video game i mean it is it right you can't say like oh well it's loosely adapted that's that specific game has that plot line

[00:40:36] and you know the the longest running and best video game series is the resident evil movies and those movies have never done well domestically they do very well far and their budgets are low and they're but you know

[00:40:45] budget are fairly low one way people are budgeted like half of this movie right usually like 50 60 right um and yeah and like resident evil afterlife which i think is the best most successful one and one of the best ones

[00:40:57] made 60 in america and 300 worldwide and they do like really fucking well on like home video all these things but those movies also are just like their own fucking continuity like they have so little to do with the games now right

[00:41:11] and if they have anything to do with the games it's like a wink or that's the thing like the first one is like maybe 50 percent the game 50 percent's own thing and then every movie from there on out goes like 7 percent more into its

[00:41:22] own thing it's like its own you know i think that's sort of what they were trying to do here where it's like can you make an assassins creed movie franchise that has its own sort of continuity that's a cousin to the

[00:41:35] video games but you're not just re-adapting the whole thing which is smart it's smart because that's the other thing people say is like if you're just making the video game as a movie gamers don't want to see that because

[00:41:45] they'd rather play it and the people who like movies first and foremost are going to go well i don't like the game so what does that matter right and i feel like this movie would have done better i mean it's still a

[00:41:57] weird fucking film but i feel like it would have been received better and probably would have made a little more money if it had been an original property how do you do this is an original you mean like just it's the same movie but assassin's creed doesn't exist

[00:42:11] yeah well and that's the other crazy thing is you go like this is like the kind of concept that someone would have sold to a studio for like five million dollars in 1992 there would have been an intense bidding war

[00:42:22] of like oh my god this fucking pitch it's like through the bloodline they can travel through time into the past and kill people and now you get to the point where this pitch is so specific though they really

[00:42:34] do explain it they don't right all right man come on all right well get in here i'm getting here i'm getting in okay well i think that yes i will i will agree that the story is

[00:42:49] kind of sweaty i will give you that much okay i don't even know if it's sweaty i i don't think it's sweaty because it's very patient right it's just very convoluted very complicated it's but see the thing to me about it is if

[00:43:05] you look past that yeah the rest of it holds up which i largely did and i also think it's just like it's one of those movies where it's hard to totally figure out what the dramatic stakes of it are

[00:43:17] because there's such complicated world building around it where you're like the dramatic states in the simplest term right is that you can't let them night get that out right that's about it it works well as like a movie with

[00:43:31] them a guffin where you know at least what the one objective is and everyone's trying their best to get it everything else is so fucking insanely complicated right but they there is that simple sort of

[00:43:40] like there's this apple yeah and the knights want it and they can't get it can't get the apple assassin's job keep them from getting the apple they have other jobs they must right but right in this movie

[00:43:52] apple but then you go to this other thing where it's like a father and daughter fighting over technology where they've essentially invented time travel through dna so if you have ancestors you can go into their shoes can i read it also assassins apparently are like

[00:44:05] a blood type like it's not just a job that people have like the assassins you know i don't think it's like mcclorean though i don't think that it's chlorine yeah whatever but i i think it's more it's just

[00:44:18] it's you know it's the bloodline you right continue that legacy i guess in the same way as the night tradition yeah yeah yeah the the people on the mayflower it's like yeah i mean you know it's bad

[00:44:31] luck to be born to that family yeah you don't want to be glistens good anyway here's a quote from michael fastbender when i met up with the guys from ubi soft yeah and they started to explain this whole

[00:44:41] world and the idea of dna memory you know i think it's a very feasible scientific theory so he's on board he's like this is real he's all in yeah i'll say this watching this movie i was like if we

[00:44:54] ever figure out time travel this is what it's going to be yeah i don't think we will ever figure out a way to like step into a move your body right right but i think at some point we could in the next 100 years

[00:45:06] crack away to like you end up like fucking now seen through the eyes of a right being john malcovich style totally agree and i'll say this that i think the movie does like the design of the animus yeah is it it's not over explained

[00:45:26] yeah i think it's very animus yeah it's very animus yes not over it's not over explained it might even be the animus i might say it's under explained go on go on but i think that you just you

[00:45:38] snap right in you know whether we all know that it's time travel through dna right you don't need to be like because of this and that i'm not asking for that i'm shaking my head i don't think you need what you're

[00:45:48] describing but i don't think for everyone they were like oh no i get it's time to have a through dna right did you see the lines of the brains crossing paths and stuff boom content all right so first just just so i can let

[00:46:00] me get some plot out please um cal calum uh lynch yeah uh our hero right is sentenced to death for the whoa whoa whoa of a pimp you're going way too fast wait no let me read the beginning part

[00:46:17] fuck sake yeah we see forget that we're not going to talk as assons just now it's like there's that early flashback of calum seeing his his mother's we open with bmx riding in the desert you know what i forgot about the bmx's

[00:46:34] badass kid misses the jump but he's trying kind of redhead kid kind of like me yep yeah i definitely used to hang out by myself and ride jumps of course and hurt myself yeah comes

[00:46:47] home his dad killed his mom with a wrist blade yes yes standing there all a sassany uh-huh in the hood yeah yes pretty intense pretty intense yeah no further explanation

[00:47:01] because he walks in and and they cut it and and cover it in a way where you think the mother is committed suicide sure and the father is framed out and then you see his father

[00:47:10] standing in a hood with a crazy knife attached to his arm crazy is also playing oh yes the song and we're that's going to be an important thing later in the movie you mean by um

[00:47:22] padi kline padi kline yes okay so anyway kid gets away runs off the bad guys show up in black cars assumingly take the dad right assassin's creed do you think ben can quote this entire yeah so

[00:47:39] then we cut to 30 years later now here's is that in between here's my complaint yes go on go on in between this guy has murdered a pimp right who why why do you need to know

[00:47:53] i need to know i don't need to know before curzel came on in the early days of them developing this movie fastbender pitched it in interviews as like it's a movie about like a bartender sure who is

[00:48:05] recruited they tell him that he's like in a lineage of assassins and that he's the one person who has the dna to be able to get this thing for them which felt more avatar like hey sure you gotta

[00:48:16] plug you into this machine you the only one who's the right genetic match we need you to do this thing you're not equipped to do and then curzel comes on and the movie becomes like here's a young

[00:48:25] man who witnessed a horrible murder in the 30 years in between that we're not really explaining he's been a violent person but you're supposed to know how we don't know how of like ant man style

[00:48:34] like oh but he's a good criminal because he hurt the bad people i don't even know if we're supposed to get that there's really not a lot of moral weighing in on what they said that's a row yeah

[00:48:45] he's executed yes he dies he's well if they think that they think it uh i will say i photo i've i've videoed the scene where you know you sort of see like look into his eye and then it gets all

[00:48:56] trippy and weird yeah because i was just like this is very bad like i'm sure this is one moment where ben's like pumping his fist right because he's on death row they lethally execute him

[00:49:05] he says lethally lethally inject him right when they go like you're a murder and he's like killed a pimp and supposed to be like well yeah no i mean clearly he was in the right yeah but i'm sitting

[00:49:13] there going like that's it and that's the only discussion right like did he in the 30 years following have psychopathic tendencies was he violent his mother be murdered of course he's

[00:49:24] gonna be my question is like did he kill one person or was this guy like a fucking is this what he got caught for right yeah he's a bad dude oh i know that uh that's all i need to know okay

[00:49:38] um yeah i would like a little more because there's definitely this concept that they're trying to conquer violence right and the violence is like sort of in you yeah no matter what

[00:49:47] and he's a good test case for that because he's this violent guy he killed a guy a pimp no further questions right right that is about that but it is right it is a you know a form of

[00:49:59] mental illness that has passed down and that perhaps he was you know destined to become violent because of really i feel like what they're saying is what they're not telling him but what they're saying

[00:50:10] is like you're an assassin you know it's in your blood and that's another reason that you're kind of you know because this whole movie is being spearheaded by the villains right and he

[00:50:19] they don't really rebel against the villains until the end very end you know so like the whole time as he doesn't realize no i know i guess his motivations are so mixed up because

[00:50:29] it want you know at first he's just thrown into it the second time he's intrigued he was dying and then he wakes up there like hey jk right you're not dead but here's crazy technology you never

[00:50:40] knew existed and we're gonna need to immediately throw you into the middle of the past and you can't leave and right and try not to talk to anyone it's like kind of a future jail everyone

[00:50:50] else here hates you but don't worry we'll give you a break get in the animus and murder some people right yeah um and also if you get too into the animus it could make you like brain dead or something

[00:51:00] crazy but yeah the rules crazy yeah and when he's like screaming that we'll get to that um yeah maryon kodiard is playing this sort of uh clipboard carrying rules explainer right

[00:51:11] but of course he is the rules right but then she walks up here entrance in the film is uh jitam leurop she that means i love the rules um but i am jisui jisui leurop yeah uh wait what was i

[00:51:27] gonna oh she does love the rules too i mean both both apply they do they do apply leurop the the the regular the regular um uh roll it again yeah regular issue um

[00:51:42] she's the clipboard carrying information dispenser but she's bias she is bias yes as the internet would say yeah and well because disney paid her off exactly she's a disney show yeah and um i kind of like

[00:51:55] that concept where she's like well of course we all know this is what the animus is for and this is what we're trying to figure out and it's like no you're lying right you're a little

[00:52:01] and she even believes her own bullshit and i think she's realizing and her father is also lying like everyone's trying to use this thing for many layers of lies right there's a lot of manipulation

[00:52:11] going on uh which is fuels my sort of like maryon signed on because this is a very conspiratorial movie like uh it's a really like there are layers of control at every part of society right

[00:52:23] night's templar apples of eden seeds the seeds seem to be important important part of the apple yeah yeah the seeds i think play a crucial part i'm not sure what way but um and so like it's

[00:52:37] sort of like through history there've always been people trying to control us like the spanish inquisition yes you know i uh just recently maybe i'll be a little while when this episode comes out uh almodratas new york has been doing all the wachowski movies oh yeah my girlfriend

[00:52:54] tc14 had never seen uh jupas ending before uh so i went to see it in a theater that unsurprisingly seemed to be 90 percent either people who have been on our podcast i was not there

[00:53:05] because it literally appeared to be like film twitter was the only people there yeah i'm seeing the matrix that's what i did in that right um but uh there there was a contingency uh that seemed

[00:53:17] to be seeing the movie because of a uh incorrect reputation of that movie being a sort of a camp classic you mean right and they like seemingly were were showing up just to laugh at

[00:53:28] it and dunk on it which i have no patience for i hate that uh as as one of our blankies said and i forget who it was i'm sorry i'm not giving you credit uh uh people showed up seemingly to

[00:53:39] ironically watch jupiter sending uh not understanding that jupiter sending is post irony right it transcends it as we've talked about in our wachowski is very sincere very sincere filming one of those scenes where like uh shan bean is explaining why like bees are attracted to

[00:53:53] royalty and why the currency is like youth and why like earth is a battery for uh you know these like this horrible capitalist system in space good movie good movie good movie good movie fucking masterpiece and the audience is like laughing at like this is like fucking ridiculous

[00:54:09] and my girlfriend just turned to me and she said this is like exactly what my father believes interesting did not expect you to say it was at one of the b moments and she was like no i

[00:54:20] totally get this movie because this is the shit my father's been saying to me since i was four interesting um i gotta talk to i gotta talk to her about that dad yeah yeah yeah her father

[00:54:31] tc 13 right and you're saying so maybe there's someone out there who's watching this and they're like yeah i mean we all know this i think her name is mary on kutzi are and they sent her the

[00:54:39] script and she was like yes finally finally someone's being the truth right if you know mom well okay so i don't know why she's i am a person where i sort of got into conspiracy stuff yeah

[00:54:54] that's another thing for this i mean this movie is like very sort of like there's the secret cabal controlling yeah so i'm pretty familiar with like the illuminati conspiracy night's night's

[00:55:08] big part of that yeah it's dead blar really we're around yeah you know because after one of my many watching of this movie i then went down a whole rabbit hole reading about the night's template

[00:55:18] yeah and their history yeah it's fascinating this is a real thing that existed on our planet at one point was essentially like uh because the church sort of had so much power yeah like more power

[00:55:30] really than like any governments right right um and this was sort of what's changed just yeah wait i'm sorry which year are you talking about 2019 what if one day like j leno is like i'm coming back to tv you know and they were okay j leno show

[00:55:49] and he comes out he's like do you guys know about the night's tempo like he was immediately just like i'm here to speak the truth finally and here's the truth it would be incredible of like

[00:55:58] j leno mr like i just want to hear some of them the illuminati control all the banks right but j leno always tries to be like i am just a job you know i mean people think of personally it's

[00:56:09] just comedy and then he showed up and he was like so the whole world is controlled by four people like suddenly was like all heartache that's right that's right he's like sitting there with a

[00:56:18] guitar like oh this is why you are saving all your money because you knew that someone was gonna sue you exactly uh for like 200 my genetic i was in an anima three things and now my genetic

[00:56:29] memory is tied to a crusader right no no no hollywood makes sci-fi films because they're trying to prepare us for the alien invasion they all know what's been going on the aliens have been

[00:56:38] laying among us for you you're you're about this you hear about this he about this kevin yeah no that's right jay hey kevin why don't you take that skin off your face and he's just an

[00:56:46] alien under the lizard yeah he about these living people he about adam weiss fott anyway love um love illuminati shit majestic 12 should we talk about the majestic 12 what's that oh i'll explain off mic it's too much it's too much for this episode so um

[00:57:08] and i think that this movie is diving right into that sort of like people like there's context going into this movie with all that sort of like paranoia that we all feel about some weird old european aristocracy that is still pulling the strings in society sure for

[00:57:29] centuries right um yeah so he's he's there yeah and so this place called again uh i forget something project it's in madrid the abstergo foundation yeah and i'll say this is one of those movies where

[00:57:47] it's like any fucking went to locations they fucking built humongous sets like this sort of mix of like old brick you know old like 15th and and like fancy i love that yeah it's it's it's

[00:57:59] two aesthetics i love super yeah clean chris modern with like stones and dust and i'll say even the animus design it's like it's like cinematically like compelling right but it does look like how they would maybe build that thing it doesn't look like it was just designed by

[00:58:17] a movie artist and it's not it looks pretty practical right it doesn't have like a bunch of colors and like like uh cheesy like lights and like you know i mean like where it looks like it looks like it

[00:58:28] would be practical and made by science i like that the movement of the arm is kind of like janky and unnatural yeah me too these arms are like a big thing that are used in theme park rides

[00:58:39] now right it's called like a kula arm i mean it's a similar kind of kind of drawlics right but it's that sort of like the harry potter ride and all these new rides that they're developing are

[00:58:48] like rather than being on a track the arm is on a track maybe hanging from the ceiling so it can wiggle you in multiple ways right it's like a totally free moving arm that's crazy yeah

[00:59:00] and like this looks pretty similar and realistic to how these arms actually work and how they move and you know did not expect you to bring the theme park into this yeah i love it

[00:59:15] interesting more video games i'm just trying to put you in here it's a video game because okay so let's get back into maybe this one's about cosplaying i don't know um so anyway let's get us

[00:59:26] back on track uh did it really die marie explains to him essentially the rules of this movie oh her name is marie in this movie i don't know it's sofia sofia she explains the rules they put

[00:59:37] him in the machine boom we're now in the first sequence where the prince's son right or the king's son the prince yeah has been being uh hid yeah in this village and the knight's temple are uh

[00:59:56] are in control of i guess spain yes like oh no all right to give you some actual history context oh wait we're gonna hear some european history no no this is from a guy who's

[01:00:11] only ever lived in your city what does he know what does he know spain was ruled by muslim caliphates and and rulers for about 300 years from about the 12th century the 15th century um which

[01:00:23] is why the spanish language is so influenced by arabic as opposed to the other romanic languages which are not and why you know the food is a little different there's the alhambra

[01:00:33] which is this beautiful piece of muslim architecture right describe my face right now uh i would say half tilted meh uh and ben i'd say his face his head's kind of half tilted going meh okay go on

[01:00:46] so the ruler in this movie is mohammed the 12th who is one of the uh the sultans of castilian spain i believe the last nasred ruler of granada yeah we all know this um so these are real people

[01:00:59] just just to be clear and like this was like a christian you know it's a crusade influenced stuff like it was a christian uh war against muslim rule in spain and uh that's who this uh this guy

[01:01:12] there's another real person tomas de toquemada who was the first grand inquisitor of spain and was like you know a leader of the catholic church who persecuted muslims and jews in spanish

[01:01:26] history bad man no good don't do it yes agreed here's another thing with this movie we often are like perplexed when we see like big blockbusters that just casually invoke like horrible periods in

[01:01:39] history right right right sure sure when you see like your transformers the last night and it's like the best example right like they're like implying that like the transformers were like fighting the nazis or that were in league with harriet tubman right that the transformers created

[01:01:52] the underground railroad like all these things and you're like the implications of this are fucked and the movie doesn't want to deal with them this is a movie that's about living in how

[01:02:00] fuck the implications are like this is part of the conspiratorial mind of this movie where it's like we're not just casually invoking these horrible like regimes in history we're making a movie that's like yeah it's throwing you in we're throwing you in we're making you live

[01:02:13] in this shit and here's this idea right on your doorstep callum what are you you're just a casual pimp murderer uh-huh you know what do you do you like beer murdering pimps being executed on death row

[01:02:27] what did you know not exactly did you know that your circumstances i don't have pimp was there yeah needed murdering i don't know um did you know that you're great great great great great

[01:02:38] you know grandpa yeah was an assassin who you know fought the uh spanish inquisition and then gave the apple of eden to christopher columbus and you assume it was on his father side because his

[01:02:49] father of course were the hood i you know might have switched mom to dad i don't know but yeah it's honestly done he is in this movie that's the sort of misdirect and that his mother was the one

[01:02:59] who had the assassin genes and asked the father to kill her because they were trying to protect him yeah is that what's going on i don't i think you're getting mixed up i think it really just

[01:03:09] me once again i could not follow this one the thing that is hardest to follow is what you're talking about yes right because when glisten is introduced in this movie and he is his dad

[01:03:20] it's kind of casual yes they're like oh yeah one of the one of the guys here is your hated dad who murdered your mom right and glisten's whole performance is given in profile looking out a

[01:03:32] window yeah and he's just like you know the assassins you know they can't defy being an assassin yeah like that's it right glisten yeah i mean that is it what is he hasn't he doesn't have a relationship

[01:03:44] with the son it's just weird that he's not just like dad couple of questions one why'd you murder my mom two what are you doing here three what's this place for what do you do people don't talk like

[01:03:57] that in real life no what if i hadn't seen a family member really long time we had bad blood i'm not going to go up and then be like sort of like open to a person what if you saw him

[01:04:09] in a special prison where they were mining your genetic memories i'd be even less so i think i have a few questions so i wouldn't be asking questions i'll tell you another uh weird thing with this

[01:04:20] movie it does feel like there's a version of this premise that's like a 1991 john claude van dam movie where it's like percent like here's the here's the log line like when they execute murderers

[01:04:34] it's actually a false flag to turn them into like time cops right right they like real time cops right you'll get your freedom and a new identity if you can use your violent ways to help us

[01:04:47] right right and then you would have a lot of like lunch room scenes with the other assassins which this has like a little of you know right this sense of a lot of the sort of

[01:04:56] team building the jail mentality of like he's like fresh fish and they're all like against him right and they set up but what's his name calum turner that's his oh oh the actor yes calm

[01:05:07] calum turner who is a grin uh he's in a grindlewald he's a new squander's brother right he's as my girlfriend who wants this movie with me commander yeah he's fuck what is a feces when

[01:05:19] she saw him in grindlewald she was like wow they found a guy who looks like any red yeah i guess you can find that person yeah no i mean props to that but like there's like him and michael k

[01:05:29] williams and like all these other people they're setting up and you're like is this kind of like a face-off magnet prison thing right but then they kind of just leave them simmering for most

[01:05:38] of the movie yeah they don't do a ton uh the the other jail people they get at the end they get to well because i and like i want to say yeah i want to say that ben is fucking riled at us right

[01:05:49] yeah i'm riled you're riled so i want to say that when he is going back in time he cannot manipulate the past right you know only so yeah so essentially he's just really like

[01:06:00] they are looking through him right in order to get the information right find out where his ancestor hid the the apple yes he hid it with christopher clumb he hid it with christopher

[01:06:11] clumb which we find out eventually right but i just wanted to make that clear he left christ clumb is two things and said take them to your grave one here's the apple two here's the idea for

[01:06:21] grant months very good too bad he lost in the bracket i know um um but that's the thing bem is the movie is positing look if you use the machine you're not doing this it already happened

[01:06:38] it's being done out of it programmed you're just getting a view and you're looking at it you're watching it first and yes okay to use the machine you do have to mimic

[01:06:46] what the guy did you got a punch and stab you got a jump and it's taxing for you but it's there's no consequence here it's fine it's fine and then of course the counter

[01:06:57] that which the movie is eventually going to make is kind of like no it there is it gets in your brain yeah and it's fucked up and do you have control or like do they have control

[01:07:07] and that's what is playing a video game right like these are the questions it's asking right and that like the constant like moral panic for the last 25 30 years of like do violent video games make people more violent or do we have violent video games because people have such

[01:07:21] violent tendencies there's a need to give them an outlet to get rid of that aggression right you know it's like do violent video games prevent people from being violent in real life see i never thought of neutralize them to the idea of violence because you spend so many

[01:07:34] hours stabbing someone virtually this is what i love about this that's what's kind of brilliant about this this is interesting i never thought of this yeah i never thought of this this is what

[01:07:42] kind of turn me on yes wow yeah that's where i started going like galaxy brain on this and kind of the oh is this cooking with gas move thing right yeah um because i don't know how else you're

[01:07:54] supposed to take it all like why else would it be such a convoluted concept of like we put you in the machine and the machine moves you are right you know like and the cycles otherwise

[01:08:04] they would just like plug into his brain and like the pre-destined like look it's it the violence just exists there yeah we're trying to get rid of it their only way to get rid of it is to

[01:08:12] live in it more yeah exactly right but the thing is is then it of course cal is now becoming more proficient as it makes you an assassin it kind of makes you into an assassin because

[01:08:23] it's like training your body is that are you always an assassin yeah right it's free will yeah pre-destination now the what this movie fucking this is what i'm saying this is what i'm saying

[01:08:35] so all right let's talk about and what he's saying i'm gonna watch it like 15 exactly so the design of the assassins their their wardrobe uh is so great right out of the games the

[01:08:47] costumes are amazing hood knives but it lives up to what they look better even than the game one great they look great yeah so good they're also very tattoo rules i forgot about like

[01:08:59] ben loves a tap and they are they are tatted up he does look kind of like a a cross punk he lives and then all right and i love it that like i think that you could plausibly watch this

[01:09:10] movie and not get that michael fanspender is also playing the assassin correct because he's so shrouded in darkness he's bearded he's dirty he's tatted like that you'd be like is that just

[01:09:20] a guy who looked like him no that's obviously it's a pretty bold move and and that's like a thing of the games which i have only played like fleetingly like someone hands me a controller and i played for

[01:09:29] 15 minutes or whatever right but the games also kind of make it so you can't really see the guy's face right that he sort of becomes this blank that you can like you know uh superimpose

[01:09:39] whatever on to right um which i love and you know arian lib ed too she's all she's got cool writing on her face that's the crazy thing about the idea of them casting someone like

[01:09:49] vakander and i feel like i read another name of someone big they almost cast and it's like if you would put vakander in this movie you probably would not have been able to clock

[01:09:56] that it was vakander right um because i was watching this movie and i was like that actress looks familiar but i can't figure out who she is i'm a bad baby yeah uh yeah mon wanted to be

[01:10:06] in it alivia mon right campaigned really hard to get the part yeah interesting there was another big young actor who i think yeah those are the ones i've got here for you okay um but yeah when

[01:10:17] we're in the assassin uh flashback in spain mm-hmm there's a lot of spanish being spoken yes uh another bold thing like they're not having people speak english and spanish no the subtitles are nice i like the font yeah um it's insanely confusing insanely even though the plot itself

[01:10:34] is actually simple which is just like there's this apple and they need to it's the same plot right but uh because also because he's being lifted out and put back in you're sort of like

[01:10:43] skipping through so it's got this like why are they all being burned at the stake now like you know it's got that kind of stuff and i like that it just kind of moves that way whereas i think like

[01:10:53] it's sounding like for you guys you need a little more context i'm the kind of person we're online i think i'm like boom boom no i don't i don't need to move me to the next

[01:11:01] thing i don't need more context it's just that i literally uh don't understand i can't like process all of what this movie's throwing at me that's fine that's fine which like it's it's the

[01:11:12] same thing you're gonna watch it 50 more times i'm not saying that's a negative it was the same thing as primer where i'm like i can tell they know exactly what they're doing and i just can't

[01:11:20] process it all right now um and i'm more compelled to go back and watch this again i want them to make a movie about michael k williams as a voodoo assassin in like 19th century new orleans

[01:11:31] yeah his assassin yes that's the thing is like everyone in this place right when they plug in the animus they go to wherever they're going right and they do that sequel set up where fast

[01:11:39] bender the camera's circling around him you see all the different fast benders right right because that's the premise of the video game is like well also the assassins were present

[01:11:49] at the fall of rome and here they are you know your objective is to stab people right i mean that's the american revolution oh yeah the apparently cruzl said that he wanted his sequel

[01:11:59] to meet the cold war all righty then sounds good and so we're gonna talk conspiracies we might as well talk you know the real one uh bohemian grove you guys know about this okay yeah yeah all the

[01:12:15] powerful man bill clinton yeah uh uh george bush this is a real thing it's a rare thing he me and grove i know we've all done the wikipedia dives are real right who is to say that

[01:12:28] there isn't some weird evil corporation right that's looking to harness human uh like a genome like technology to start making superhuman people i mean that's stuff that could really happen now

[01:12:40] in in 2019 right bohemian grove they frame is like oh this is just like these people who are at such a high level it's a weekend this is the only they need to chill they just burn an effigy of an owl

[01:12:51] this is like our club man it's so but they're all these weird traditions to it and people who have like gone have been brought as guests like kind of talk about harry shearer made a movie

[01:13:03] that's like a mockumentary that's a parody of bohemian grove i think called teddy bears picnic and he talks about that someone took him once oh weird and he's like it's one of those things where

[01:13:13] it's like they don't let go like no this doesn't exist they'll like invite people in but when you're there you get the sense that there's more that you're not sort of being keyed into

[01:13:22] right and that even a lot of the people who are formal members maybe don't know everything in the same way it's something like Scientology functions and like a lot of members of Scientology

[01:13:32] don't know the alien shit yeah they wait until you're like deep into the like also this is bad and now people know because now you can like because the internet exists but bohemian grove is one

[01:13:41] of those things where you're like is this like a weird space for like the most powerful people in the world to like murder people right or is it just them playing like tennis in the woods

[01:13:48] it might be both right it's probably it's a little bit of one and a little bit of the other yeah anyway anyway it does feel like it's like we are the people who have inherited the power and we

[01:13:58] make sure the world is running properly we have to elect god's president don j trump yeah right um but the plot is kind of hard to talk about so why don't we yeah i mean i think it's over right

[01:14:11] and yeah so you've got irons there who sort of like wants to leverage this to like dominate all free will you've got a ramping who's showing up and she seems to want to leverage it for like

[01:14:21] something else i don't know she's got like some other agenda it's never really does she represent the church no she's a templar person but there aren't they all templar persons right well because yeah i mean the irons got the necklace and everything they're both templars i think they're

[01:14:35] just sort of she's just sort of comes in and she's like wow what's up but in kutty are is more of a scientist i mean that's her god is her dad is a knight's templar a knight's

[01:14:44] templar so he keeps on taking her and she doesn't really get how like you know the dark underside now what i love about i will say that maryon kutty are described her relationship with her father as quote twisted really twisted well just saying wow that really just knocked

[01:15:02] me for a little bit i remember i was gonna say yes it does yes it does brian gliesen played a young brennan gliesen in this movie um just trying to run oh you denis menna shei

[01:15:12] love him i love him from that one scene in the glories denny menna shei hour about one thirty minute scene great scene so i mean should have been nominated for an Oscar for glorious along with

[01:15:21] waltz and sci-fi and action movies right the scientist the the character is given the exposition it's like you know they're always trying to justify whatever kooky crazy thing this movie

[01:15:34] is straight up i love it it's just like it's like yeah the scientist is trying to cure some like like uh macro level idea of conflict in general like that's so crazy i'm not asking for them to

[01:15:47] explain the little details good this is a sci-fi premise that you just have to get on board with or not of course there's just so much going on in terms with the separate motivations of the

[01:15:55] characters are and what they're tied to in terms of like you know millennia long traditions that it's hard for me to totally get my head around what's driving everyone right i don't

[01:16:08] need anyone explaining animus any more than they do one thing i do want ben stegum yeah is that scene where fastbender's just screaming the song crazy yeah as he's like lifted into the air right which

[01:16:22] i don't think there's any explanation for except that he's going crazy right right looks and feels weird when you watch it a bunch of times but after like the 10th time of seeing it

[01:16:34] it's still really weird it stands out in this way where you're like i guess nobody really told them no and also this is a movie with zero jokes yeah not a fun one not a funny one i mean that you

[01:16:47] rarely see a film that doesn't even attempt to land one joke like it's so wrote this it's like three or four like right like people who are just sort of like couple assassins i think scott frank took

[01:16:58] a pass and there's a lot of people who probably had like you could see this exact same script being done in a very straightforward way this is just i yes yes you're correct i just think that this is a

[01:17:10] movie every time i've watched it all two times yeah when you're watching it anytime it cuts through a new scene you're like did i miss a scene yes every time that's one of the things that makes it a

[01:17:20] little hard for me to watch every scene that it jumps to you're like i'm definitely wasn't listening or something there's something that wasn't explained but i think by the time you've come

[01:17:29] around in your 12th or 13th watch like ben has you go like well of course they cut there that's when assassins creed cuts to the next scene right like you don't you stop getting thrown off by that because

[01:17:39] you're just letting it fulfill the rhythms of assassins creed and we all know ben is running this movie for president in 2020 right right yes assassins creed 2020 yeah the pre the movie

[01:17:51] yes okay well i want to ask you boys what's your favorite past there's four the four past like sequences sequences they're all heists too pretty much right wouldn't you say because they're all running right so each one is like i forgot also another thing you like about this

[01:18:09] is kind of parkoury it's a lot of building climbing running on tops baby it's good for that for me the best step he's definitely the um uh the steak scene i like that for one it's outside

[01:18:20] which i like when they're trying to burn them on the steak yeah and they you know the way i thought for a second you were talking about like a top sirloin's delicious delicious yes when they're

[01:18:29] trying to burn it yes spain beef uh yeah no yeah we're here the way is they jump out of the that's all fun and there's fire and they're so cool yeah that's cool and you have that that

[01:18:39] shot that kerzel loves where it's like we open on an eagle eagle eagle eagle now let's leave the eagle behind and go through many layers of distance fog can we talk about the eagle thing is

[01:18:49] that tied to anything bigger than i'm not getting it's from the games and they're always talking about the eagle in there uh but what what what's the deal with the eagle eagle is kind of you

[01:18:58] know like beast master the eagle always follows them it's like that kind of idea okay so it's like in the in the game you could let's see it's like the eagle is in jupiter ascending let's read

[01:19:08] the ascents in the game you can access the eagle to get like a bird's eye a literal bird's eye view yeah okay do you want me to read from the uh there's also that one scene in the present

[01:19:16] where he transitions using a helicopter and it feels like he's trying to match the rhythms of the eagle shots can i explain the eagles yeah because i just knew there was something i was

[01:19:25] eagles play an important role in the assassin brother could in that many of the orders outfits and weapons bear resemblance to eagles in their details right because they do they the hoods kind

[01:19:33] of come to a point like and they got like their talons and the birds perch on the viewpoints assassins used to navigate their surroundings and perform leaps of faith from

[01:19:43] so i think in the games they are sort of a camera it's literally the bird's eye view yeah they're trying to make an analog version but as you say you can also sort of send them to go get

[01:19:52] shit for you which is cool yeah i think that's cool yeah but in the movie it feels like they were like you know we can't get too much eagle stuff in here because they that's where we lose them

[01:20:01] so let's just have like a reference to the eagles a lot of right he just kind of uses them as a visual pattern yeah it's also a great way to justify getting some drone work in there baby

[01:20:15] the drone work in this movie is solid another thing ben loves drones yeah yeah i love drones and i'll say that like the physicality to all these action sequences feels weirdly kind of grounded only there's a there's a messiness to the choreography in this movie that i like

[01:20:32] that makes them more impressive drones i love drones i love them big yeah i love them small you're running out of steam griff a little bit but let's keep going no i think we're close we're i think we

[01:20:45] could wrap up yeah um i got a merchandise spotlight we gotta do the box of this game do your merchandise spotlight well they just what they're in my salad that i mean it's your favorite kind of apple

[01:20:55] oh i probably say granny smith yeah i like them tart okay i like them tart can i recommend saucy if you're a tart uh-huh if you're a tart man yeah try yourself a pink lady are you are you

[01:21:11] deep on apples now i know a lot about apples are great bra birds are also great what bra burns can be good but they you know you gotta um you gotta get i got the right one right they gotta be real

[01:21:22] crisp my mom is a huge apple fan and like are clearly i love to go out so i know a lot yeah well like dad uh makes uh his own jam what that's a classic retired person thing to do he's always done

[01:21:36] it girlfriends mom does that too makes a lot of jam and then the problem with that is you end up with a lot of jam yeah the jam sort of gets passed i have so much jam you know what i'll bring in

[01:21:46] some of my dad's jam for you guys i will take some off your hand you're a jam man i'm a jam you love a jam yeah jam's my jam i'll get you some blackberry it's really good well i'm more of an

[01:21:54] apple oh apple jam guy apple preserves he makes apple jam right yeah assassin's creed we should say the ending of this movie is that fast pender and the rest of them escape from the evil prison

[01:22:06] and now he's got like kind of a trio that's him and michael k williams right yeah mc dave whims is one of the guys yes callum doesn't make it there's also there's an asian lady

[01:22:15] michelle h lin uh there's some other folks and they're wearing like hoodies now present day and they've taken weapons and what is so cool is that they kill irons and steal the apple yeah before they

[01:22:26] join together right before he leads he joins in with their like escape yeah he has that scene where you realize that the past version of himself can communicate to him in the future somehow

[01:22:42] because they have that weird sort of like moment where they have like ghostly convo right yeah like they're like they're he's not even like plugged into the animus anymore but he's still like being able

[01:22:53] to like they have some name for that yeah i she's like you're gonna experience some shadow vision or something yeah uh and i thought that was really interesting so i just wanted to point that out

[01:23:04] but honestly this is just this is just a solid movie no that is not how you described this thing is bizarre yeah it is not a solid it's a solid movie it's all like the fugitive where it's

[01:23:15] like oh yeah i can jump into any classic meat and potato you said you said this is one of those movies the course that comes on tv three o'clock in the afternoon it's a relaxing watch and i'm like

[01:23:23] no this movie is making me work i'm just complaining it's a ract like it's constantly changing shape right you don't understand how my brain works okay the very thing i like about this movie is that it is intellectually rigorous yeah and like you can't jump into it no

[01:23:40] and anything you need more the jump is about as uh painless as getting plugged into the animus and making a leap of faith making a leap of faith the box office okay really really bad box

[01:23:51] off christmas 2016 yeah what time passes i know just a couple years in a yeah we were doing this podcast yeah it opened number five 14 million right so this is not oh it's rogue one yeah i was just

[01:24:08] going to give you the final totals that wrote one is number one right okay 54 domestic at 240 worldwide which is just about acceptable right but they still apparently lost a hundred million dollars on

[01:24:21] this movie with marketing and everything combined uh but ben's you know chipping away at that at that i'm contributing yeah i'm telling you they should make a sequel and they should set it in

[01:24:34] what would be like a cool thing i haven't seen from history they're doing a netflix anime series are they oh really yeah is it going to be connected to this or it's just i don't think so and i would

[01:24:43] guess it's probably gonna be like a more hack well i just think it's gonna be a little more like just sort of the fights and i i would assume that it's gonna be somewhat of a like every

[01:24:54] episode it's a different time period right okay yeah that's my guess i mean that seems to be the way that all these things are going because it's now like you don't hear a lot of video game movies and

[01:25:04] active development and there's more and more like they're doing witcher for netflix yeah well that's gonna be a big one huge uh that that one they're sinking a lot of time into yeah number one is

[01:25:15] rogue one in its second weekend only dipped 38 percent which is very strong that's like one of the 10 highest grossing movies of all time such a huge movie yeah come on get let's see where it

[01:25:25] actually is uh and while he's doing that yeah so i just got knock gang is caught uh-huh sequel you want the sequel to be gang with the sassy gang is do you know what knocked it out what knocked out uh

[01:25:37] rogue one so it's a january when it was a split no all time oh oh oh what knocked it out all time from 10 to 11 uh incredible correct yeah did you know that a lot of that's in the time a lot of people share

[01:25:53] uh genetics with gang is con yes he had made love to so many people yeah he made love to them that's what he was doing definitely every time it was definitely the most scenario right

[01:26:06] he that's a guy who made hate uh sure um see hate fucked his way across the club number two is a film that passion left his face is half tilted and sort of math he left it all on the

[01:26:20] bed um and it was not kind no good very bad don't throw don't be gang is con i want to can i use my platform for a second to say this david let him use the guys what are you thinking

[01:26:32] don't be gang is con gongas gongas con don't do it uh what about kubakon uh like uh Benedict long do it okay yeah kupa troopa do it super troopers do it hey super trooper

[01:26:51] all right number two at the box up you know there's a guy i'm sorry just just because we just did that you know who's a guy i'm really angry at myself for leaving off my best supporting actor list

[01:27:01] at the blank is the dude who played young colin furth and mama mia too you like that guy is unbelievable that is the best i've ever seen an actor impersonate another more famous actor

[01:27:13] i'm finding his name for you because he's in some tv show i think he's from one of those let's find i saw that with our friend ramona and we were losing our fucking minds during the

[01:27:23] water loose um he's gonna he's in flea bag right he's a right he's a flea bagger right he's her ex boyfriend uh he also i think is um in the soapy winzers it doesn't matter okay look number

[01:27:34] two at the box up so we've rogue one by the way made 96 million in its second week crazy number two which made 75 million over i think several days written by uh past guest in not work one yes not

[01:27:46] forget we're going to number two number two i was just trying to think of more things to enter up with yeah yeah it's a movie that past and future guest katie rich i believe it is her son's

[01:27:57] favorite movie it's her son's favorite movie yes and i have a video of him singing along to a sequence in this moana nope uh but it is oh sing and go one of those another thing that

[01:28:11] makes so much the sequence apparently where taryn agreton is a pig sings elton johnson excuse me he's not a pig he's a gorilla oh okay then he has peter serifino which is his gorilla dad okay fine

[01:28:21] he likes that but he also likes a sequence i think maybe someone sings my way in the movie i believe nick krull and rice witherspoon are the pigs fine i've not seen this film i have a

[01:28:31] video of him singing my way it's very cute i think i am low-key obsessed with in my stupid internet rabbit hallway is uh you know that phenomenon with like cgi movies where they put

[01:28:42] out press photos that's like the voice actor posing with their anime back to back they make it look like they were on the same like annie libevich shoot the ones for sing are like very

[01:28:52] self-serious they're like very dramatic and there's one that's like nick krull giving like ultimate series actor face standing next to a pig in a spandex onesie can you tell me the final total on

[01:29:06] sing uh like 260 270 insane very huge hip yeah huge humongous movie number three we saw it together we saw it together uh it's not jumanji comes out the following that's the next year right

[01:29:24] and we don't like it oh oh it's passengers you go yeah you know that's that movie open to 29 ended up at 100 domestic it's kind of a good like artifact that sort of encapsulates just like toxic

[01:29:40] masculinity well i mean look here's my argument with that movie and somehow how would that get how did that get me i'll tell you why that was like one of the hottest scripts in hollywood

[01:29:50] and it was a movie about creepiness but the script was so hot that then they were like well we have to get big director we have to get the two biggest stars and we can't have the biggest stars playing

[01:30:01] creeps so let's act like this is charming and romantic which made it creepy do you know what i'm saying yes like the movie is supposed to be about is reverse creepy person making a terrible

[01:30:12] decision and living with that guilt right and instead they were like well but it's gonna cost a lot of money because it's in a spaceship let's make it like chris pratt also he should be

[01:30:19] kind of like a nice guy so then it becomes a movie that's like excusing his creepiness and trying to get you to go like come on love god could have been a great film as like a fucking black

[01:30:28] mirror episode sure like that's what it was written to be number four is a movie that doesn't exist number four is a movie that doesn't exist final total 60 million dollars okay it's opening this

[01:30:38] week to 15 above assassins wow which made 14 and it exists less than assassins create if i told you about this movie you would remember what it was was it oscar play at all was commercial

[01:30:49] if i told someone else about this movie they'd be like i'm the only person who remembers that it i'm just saying you remember any movie right you know like it's just like if i went up to a

[01:30:57] person on the street and i was like did you know that xx and x x y and z were in like this movie about this and it came out like a couple years ago yeah this is two names give me the genre

[01:31:08] comedy it's comedy this is like a uh first sale at best buy movie 100 it's not father figure no but it falls into that kind of category kind of yeah right because it's always bad when they dump

[01:31:21] a comedy that isn't a family comedy on christmas that's another family comedy but i think it was rated r maybe not it's not bad mom's christmas yeah it was rated r wow so it's an r rated

[01:31:33] kind of family comedy with two names in it yes and are they they're not like colossal but their names are they mostly comedy people or are they people stepping outside of their usual wheelhouse

[01:31:45] one of them stepping outside a little bit it's not daddy's home no seriously doesn't exist doesn't exist it's got somebody in it who is pretty uh problematic correct someone who has been canceled

[01:32:01] since the release of this movie or at least is on the canceling block he's on the block he's on the block he's kind of evaded cancellation interest and he feels like how

[01:32:12] is that not happened yet yeah well we can talk about it once he when you guess what this movie is not shon pen no um comedy he's been on the block he's skirted by uh uh give me another hint

[01:32:32] the title is a question the title is a question oh yeah you're right this movie does not exist no it's called why him yeah and uh legislation was passed in 2017 to strike it from the congressional

[01:32:44] record it was thrown out of the library of congress jonah hill weirdly has a story bike yeah i think it must have been some movie they had developed for him long ago maybe you know what

[01:32:55] i mean yeah because it's brian cranson's the dad right so he do it i believe is the daughter right so we don't she was like 20 at the time of filming and uh it's like what if your daughter

[01:33:05] dated james franco yeah and he's kind of like a i don't know idiot like i don't even know what his deal is right it's stoner yeah meet the parents from the side of the dad where it's like what if the

[01:33:18] nightmare was your son was your daughter was dating but it's rated r yeah that's a weird doesn't it feel like some movie that they were ordering the same time as the sitter and then it just

[01:33:27] kind of got like you know tossed over yeah i obviously haven't seen it right it's a hamburger people forget also that like jonah hill kind of like took a while after super bad to make another

[01:33:40] vehicle like he clearly was a guy who was like turning down a lot of obvious vehicles right and studios wanted him to make more r-rated comedies yeah so i think he developed a lot of half premises

[01:33:52] uh right because he doesn't really like star in a comedy between super bad and get him to the greek huh which at that point it's like three years yeah and then he doesn't have another good comedy

[01:34:06] until toy on jump street so it was like either he take a supporting part in something or he would do like yeah he does a lot of supporting parts syrus or he does like either be a small movie and he was

[01:34:18] a big part or he shows up for a scene in an apatow he did get him to the greek though that was the one i'm saying that was like he was like i turned down all these big comedies they offered me

[01:34:26] because i want to develop my own thing but get to the greek was like you waited for that one and then he gets his group right this sitter comes out in 11 right wasn't it supposed to come out earlier i

[01:34:35] don't remember that was supposed to be like yeah one of his big followers yeah sitter was another one we're like i remember reading that script and being like this is amazing this is an incredible

[01:34:43] blacklist script and it's one of those things where you're like it kind of only works as a writing sample and you can't really make it yeah like it's funny on paper to just imagine

[01:34:52] an adult saying those things to kids and once you actually put it on screen you're like this makes me uncomfortable because your sister auditioned for it yeah my sister got very close it was under her

[01:35:02] the girl who got the part and uh uh teresa gadees' daughter from real house we talked about this yeah yes and romley was not an actor but she somehow got very close to getting that part um some other movies we got moana as you mentioned we got fences

[01:35:16] la la land what a weird time la la land made uh 120 151 million dollars domestic 440 yeah it's a great movie it's yeah it's a great movie um fences 57 pretty good pretty good yeah a good movie too i

[01:35:35] really like fences yeah office christmas party is hanging around okay my canon is great in that collateral beauty is is not hanging around is leaving it's on its way out uh yeah hidden figures

[01:35:49] come out the patriot's day a lot of the you know silence you know a lot of oscar players i still get Tony erdman yeah Tony erdman box uh i still get angry when i think about the fact that you

[01:36:00] remember to give best supporting actress to condi Alexander there's a great moment by me right because i saw in theaters and i was like this is definitely my she's a griff pick right and then

[01:36:08] i just forgot until he was there's a dog pick our bar far she got the golden bone to get the golden so did i do okay this is a great job you can't me all right i just want to make sure you did you

[01:36:20] did this movie is hard to kind of wrap your head around wait there was something we were talking right before we started recording and then i demanded we have to start recording because

[01:36:28] we need this on like you said something crazy right before we started recording uh david being the dog it was about do you remember this i remember that he says that it wasn't about this movie so in

[01:36:39] high school yes my high school they we didn't have um david was talking about speaking foreign languages because you wanted us Spanish we wanted us to read the whole paragraph in Spanish

[01:36:48] right and we said we don't really speak Spanish and then i said in my school we didn't have any foreign languages they didn't teach foreign languages they just had a swearing class okay thank you all for listening

[01:37:02] please remember to rate your views subscribe thanks to and for guru for social media uh pat reynolds and uh joe bowen for our artwork thanks to lemong going for our theme song thanks to ben

[01:37:13] for hosting the show then choice thanks for letting me do it guys what's your next choice king Ralph uh well i don't know maybe king ralph yeah i see the thing is though is that now i feel like

[01:37:25] scumbum re is my thing uh huh and so i feel like maybe it's a scumbum flick it's the only thing is it's the balance of will we maybe cover such as i mean high time high good time oh good time

[01:37:40] i i thought hi because i got high when i saw it uh that movie you know um you were never really there here whatever where you know i don't know if you heard the movie has the mend uh right now he

[01:38:00] should watch the mend the mend what's the man the john magery movie i don't think i know this movie really yeah what movie is this you know josh lucas oh oh yes sorry yes no you would love that film why

[01:38:15] was i not i don't guess i forgot that movie is called that the mend you should watch that okay yeah but we'll see you know i only do these every once in a while so it'll probably be uh a waste from now

[01:38:26] speaking of though should we i'm sure we already did but should we announce what next week is oh that's a good question yes is it a burger report no it's uh it's very serious no long time

[01:38:42] since we did a burger report yeah they stopped coming in all right sorry sorry serious thought that tap was never gonna stop flowing and in fact the burq tap it started really dripping uh david i have a

[01:38:54] very important news update which is why we had to interrupt hit me oh we gotta read it or we gotta read the she here rip it off a big fax machine here you go oh my god let me hot over the telex yeah

[01:39:07] hot off the presses we're on the case that's right and next week is going to be a very special episode on the man himself detective pika chip pika pika so grab your coffee mugs grab your

[01:39:22] tickets start looking for clues because this is this is why it's a very special episode we're going into the pokerverse we're going pretty deep into the pokerverse uh benji samet yep dan hernanda

[01:39:35] that's right screen writers of detective pika true correct on the show are going to tell us how the pika sausage is made yeah so this people ask us because we were conserves of context how we know

[01:39:49] all this stuff they ask this question why didn't you weigh in on this we don't know the answers to other things so we're trying to get some context we're trying to get some context

[01:39:56] hot tap a context hot tap a context for detective pika chip yep so now we're gonna take you out of the future and and drop you back into your uh regular episode here is where we announce the next

[01:40:10] two mini series you want to announce both right yeah i say i think we should because i think people need time to prepare and also no one's guest either of these so it's gonna blow their minds

[01:40:20] but don't you think so don't you think people need time yeah okay the second one especially um yeah take it away oh you want me to take it away i mean these are kind of more your guys

[01:40:30] well no wait a second well they are like okay well next i just want to give you the pleasure of announcing them i'm not saying like they're yours take care of it i'm saying like be gleeful

[01:40:40] i mean these are two guys you want to talk about yeah i mean this is my guy michael man the great michael man the great american filmmaker of my life uh the best one he's the best one

[01:40:52] you're challenging me i know i'm saying he's my burton i'm letting you say this all right all right all right all right um is who we're doing next uh doing michael man i've wanted to do him

[01:41:04] since we started this i guess right and there have been uh production delays and budget conflicts right exactly uh yeah an intimate you know drama suddenly costs to a hundred and fifty million

[01:41:16] dollars for some reason right somehow every episode of this mini series has ballooned to two hundred million dollars and nine months of filming and ben has had to read every one episode six times each

[01:41:27] other right yeah yeah and we keep just yeah we keep disagreeing on which eighties cover like should be the theme of this sort of wordless uh action sequence in the middle of our episode every every

[01:41:39] week the previous episodes of this mini series will be re-released in radically different cuts yeah uh where we're changing the order we're gonna have to talk about that because some of these director's cuts must be avoided at all all costs right but miami vice is the one don't

[01:41:53] watch the really cut terrible interesting ruins the movie interesting it's an unruinable movie but no the director's cut is worth that i mean it is going to make this mini series tricky because

[01:42:02] it's like uh he keeps on futzing with these movies yeah i mean miami vice is the one he fuses with the most heat he will always like he'll add like eight more seconds to every

[01:42:12] so of a dish and that just but if they're all very similar okay um but yeah michael man we're shortly i haven't seen that expanded another vice yeah and of course then black hat which we're doing a lot

[01:42:22] of investigative work on just how deep we can go on its director's cut yeah we yeah we want oh my god it's gonna be so good you gotta wear the hat folks men we're gonna be men okay well we need

[01:42:33] a title oh for the mini series yeah yeah i mean the the cast of the pot he can feels a little tasteless yes but but that the problem is so many of his other titles are one word also true yeah

[01:42:49] pod podcast enemy public pod lick and it cast oh boy oh it stinks in here all of us what's the next longest title that one because i'm thinking like manhunter thief collateral ollie yeah the

[01:43:07] only two word titles are the keep miami vice and public enemies right i have no idea what the fuck we're calling this thing man man cast man once again great optics oh it's gonna be great uh and

[01:43:22] then yes what if we call it two and a half man who's the half man man man man man man man man man man man man man man what are you guys doing i can't do my and then after michael man yeah this is a

[01:43:45] longer term thing but it's kind of i just feel like we should alert the viewers because his movies are a little harder to find he is a man who pointedly does not allow his films to be available

[01:43:55] on any digital services exactly i tried to i literally reached out to the american distributor to see if there's anything on the horizon of streaming and they confirmed i

[01:44:08] talked to this guy a bunch at uh at like a uh a party i sat next to him at a screening and was talking to him about it the g kids who controls uh the filmography obviously the director we're

[01:44:19] talking about is walt becker um no hi i'm Miyazaki uh and he does not believe in digital streaming nor should he so you can buy physically but also they tend to re-release these films every

[01:44:33] summer in theaters in a pretty wide way you know they're limited screenings but they're playing at most theaters you can check your local local multiplexes there's a good chance they'll be

[01:44:44] playing some of them over the summer so we want to give you the heads up so that if you see an opportunity to go catch pork or oh so in june exactly you know it's on the horizon and use

[01:44:53] your library too lose your yes yes this is this is the kind of like these are good library yeah these are definitely going to be available at your library and also say this i mean they're pretty widely

[01:45:03] distributed in terms of physical media even as that is a dwindling thing sure they are some of like the only movies that you can still find in like any best buy as like the dvd section

[01:45:12] of a best buy increasingly becomes a corner right they do stock these and these movies still sell really well on physical media because that's their one i have the box outlet um

[01:45:23] and so you want to do an animator every year i like the idea of doing a man i think i like that idea too and we have other animators we'd like to do sometime and a lot of them are very short

[01:45:31] hematography salic bluce is another long one but yeah a lot of them i always have that one well he's got some pictures we combined we would combine some of great combined i don't

[01:45:40] believe it doesn't need its own episode no it just needs a little episode exactly needs a thumb-sized episode uh muskern clements we could do yeah takahata we could do yeah uh who's a very short film well i'm really excited to do this because i know nothing about anime

[01:45:56] i've actually literally never seen an anime movie before uh i've only seen two of his films which one uh spirited away in totoro i am admittedly at like a uh neophyte this is going

[01:46:09] to be fun and i've never been able to fully get on board but i haven't tried watching his films in a very long time and i know i'm in the wrong and i want to uh to be educated

[01:46:19] yeah um so that is our future plans now you can stop guessing now you can stop guessing those are the next two directors then after that we do whoever won the bracket who is jonathan dem me of course

[01:46:29] yes we knew all along i honestly i didn't see that coming that dem me would win yeah well i and of course the current ratio between the us dollar and the euro is one euro equals 1.13 united

[01:46:46] states dollar well now just giving me more work to do yeah that's right i wanted you to just look up what the you know front page of the new york times was in may 11th 1912 and it was boat disaster i'm

[01:46:59] glad that we all learned that and of course you know at the time we're recording this you know of course we're recording this right when it's about to come out uh the most uh insane thing

[01:47:09] that donald trump tweeted that day was had a long and very good conversation with president putein of russia as i have always said long before the witch hunt started getting along with russia china and everyone is a good thing not a bad thing we discussed trade venezuela ukraine

[01:47:28] north korea nuclear arms control and even the russian hoax very productive talk wow what a piece of trash is there any more we want to do uh number one at the domestic box office is pokemon detective

[01:47:46] pikachu top selling apple is gallaud apples oh boy all right sometimes you get the choice but the choice uses you yeah i don't know whatever whatever yeah man me is a man me is aki will

[01:48:06] it top this assassin's creed episode likely not probably not untappable untappable um but uh no it'll be so good oh my god michael man you're excited i am excited i'm just genuinely going

[01:48:17] crazy now trying to think how we name the spinny series because i think we might have to fully break format i mean michael man's name doesn't work cleanly with podcasts no so it's like is it

[01:48:26] something where we come up with another man pun because i don't know if any of the titles work either like do we call it like man of the house or something but then it's like then we're

[01:48:37] losing the podcast thing podcast vice i'm getting so stressed out trying to figure out how to do this um podcast hunter what about podcast lateral that doesn't work i mean it's not doesn't it's

[01:48:53] not a word like it doesn't like even resemble well hey buddy i hate to tell you this it might not be a word whatever we have called podcast hunter is pretty solid actually podcast hunter is one word

[01:49:06] so it's sort of funny i don't know if i agree with that i think everything i just said is true i mean i'm not laughing the i'm laughing you're laughing the pod keep the pod i mean what the

[01:49:23] podcaster what's what's that insider i don't know right right um yeah miami podcast black hat maybe it's just miami podcast maybe it's just literally miami pod pod amy vice cast like we could do like sort of the more old-fashioned where we just sort of sploosh the words in

[01:49:45] yeah all right i don't know you're you're losing your mind right now thank you all for listening i said all the other stuff before and then now i'm gonna continue media res right uh go to

[01:49:56] red at blankiesoutred.com for some real nerd shit go to t-bar for some real nerdy shirts go to the patreon subscribe to blank check uh special features yep um and as always yeah uh we

[01:50:11] didn't discuss it in the episode so we should just mention that there is a horrifying section of michael fastbender's Wikipedia based around a restraining order filed against him by an ex-girlfriend who claims that he committed horrible acts of violence against her um but i just think

[01:50:27] we should mention that so that the episode ends strong and everyone walks away having a good time yeah yeah no she yes she she alleges some terrible things yeah um it's bad really bad

[01:50:44] yep no i mean yeah i'm actually not even remembering yeah she filed a restraining order against him yeah yeah that's really really awful but i go buy some apples