Best of the Attack of the Podcast

[00:00:22] Hello, welcome to the Blank Check. I'm producer Ben and today is our second installment of Best of Moments from our days as a Star Wars prequels podcast

[00:00:33] You might notice I sound a little under the weather

[00:00:37] But don't worry. I'm fine. As always I need to

[00:00:41] Remind our listeners that while we are in fact a no-bits podcast

[00:00:46] Opits pros bits the running bit was that Griffin David were only aware of the first two Star Wars prequels

[00:00:53] The Phantom Menace and now this time around the attack of the clones

[00:00:56] Please enjoy the best of the attack of the podcast

[00:01:01] Right, and we spent 10 episodes talking about George Lucas's film the Phantom Menace Star Wars episode one the Phantom Mass

[00:01:06] We thought it was a one-and-done. Yeah, we thought it was the only film in this series

[00:01:10] We knew he had grand ambitions for a saga. We thought they didn't work, but old Georgie Porgy pulled a fast one

[00:01:16] I mean we dug it up that crazy son of a bitch did it F2 you pulled it off

[00:01:19] He made the clones it makes sense because episode one made about a billion dollars

[00:01:23] That was the weird thing in our logic was we knew that episode one was at the time

[00:01:27] It's released the third highest grossing film of all time and we just could not think of that sequel

[00:01:32] Yeah, anyway, we've seen it. We totally forgot about it, right

[00:01:36] I don't know if that logically makes any sense

[00:01:39] But here we are episode two we're cracking into it and of course we know I that's the last one

[00:01:46] You know, we thought it was a one-and-done. We thought it was a Jupiter ascending if you will yeah, but it wasn't now

[00:01:51] We realize here. Yeah now. It's like an amazing spider-man 2

[00:01:55] They got two films into what was supposed to be a much larger saga

[00:01:58] There are a lot of cut off

[00:01:59] Resolved boy

[00:02:00] But now we have the second film and we get to look at where we thought it was going a lot of threads not

[00:02:04] Resolved in from this film. So first and foremost, this is a sequel. Yeah, it is it's a honkin sequel to one movie

[00:02:11] Okay, yes a sequel to the one thing we've established which is called the Phantom

[00:02:17] Senator Amidala

[00:02:19] Oh the former Queen of Naboo Wow is

[00:02:23] Returning to the Galactic Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating an army of the Republic in capital letters

[00:02:30] That's a big deal because she hates the Senate to assist the overwhelmed Jedi. I mean, I love this

[00:02:36] I like it. I don't know if love I was we were talking before and I was like, oh yeah

[00:02:41] It's better but like there is a lot of talk of like Senate votes

[00:02:43] I don't know better than trade routes 100%

[00:02:46] Yeah, I don't know if it's like Stockholm syndrome if I'm just so happy to see another face

[00:02:50] Yes, right new plot new plot. I got rock hard at that crawl. I did was it at

[00:02:56] Army of the Republic in capital letters every part of it. I just like that. We're getting so much information

[00:03:01] Yeah, okay turmoil great. We know that ooh all these different planets have left

[00:03:06] Yeah, so Civil War right the power, you know, there used to be this united universe and now it's all

[00:03:14] Split apart and it's moving on elements. We know from the Phantom Menace

[00:03:18] Yes, the Senate was all fucked up in the Phantom Menace, right the lorem was a weak Chancellor

[00:03:24] The cracks were showing and now they have like, you know, they've come to form

[00:03:30] One of my many problems with the Phantom Menace is that it was really taking baby steps towards something

[00:03:35] I felt like he had a longer story

[00:03:36] He wanted to tell it and he was moving very slowly towards very slowly and not much happens

[00:03:40] No at all this crawl is immediately right sort of like it's a good point getting the action

[00:03:45] I wish it happened within Phantom Menace Phantom Menace is one planet is having one dispute

[00:03:50] Yeah with the Trade Federation tack of the clones is the entire galaxy

[00:03:55] Yeah, is about to be it was on the brink of war right the Galactic Senate apparently

[00:03:59] I guess it seems like the Republic doesn't have an army

[00:04:01] Yeah, which was never addressed in the pilot makes sense. There's no army

[00:04:04] It's just have the battle draw the Jedi's keep the peace but apart from that

[00:04:08] You know like maybe people have their own armies. I don't know but yes

[00:04:12] So this is then a Republic Army and if there's more you know sort of discord throughout the universe

[00:04:17] The jazz aren't gonna be able to you know, there's only so much they can do

[00:04:21] Yeah, they can maintain the peace when there's not that much to maintain. Yeah when things are pretty civil right

[00:04:28] But I like this too and we said oh those Jedi the Jedi Council. They're so smug

[00:04:32] They're so calm. They're so judgmental. I like this immediately taking them out of their comfort zone

[00:04:37] Right, they're stretched too thin. You know I do like already it sounds like they're addressing a lot of our complaints

[00:04:43] In the first movie the Jedi just walk in and they're like we're handling this right don't worry about it

[00:04:48] This will be right there negotiations were short. No stayed like fucking like discourse about no tea services, right?

[00:04:56] Right, this is like there's no TC 14. Oh, is that yeah?

[00:05:01] I know well

[00:05:02] I mean we actually didn't talk about it

[00:05:03] But TC 14 almost certainly dies at the end of Phantom Ennis when her

[00:05:08] Okay, I know I'm amazed we'd never talked about that yeah for a very very good

[00:05:12] I never thought about it. Yeah, she's dead probably yeah the same reason

[00:05:16] I know my grandma isn't dead because I never had to see her dead body all right

[00:05:20] They can tell me whatever they want, but I didn't look inside the box

[00:05:22] So I know she's still alive and just isn't calling me and has him for the last 15 years

[00:05:25] Is that but is that worse so she doesn't like you anymore? I don't know. She's

[00:05:30] 98 years old she can do whatever she wants

[00:05:33] Now this film came out three years after the Phantom Menace

[00:05:37] So whereas you know Portman is kind of being aged up yes

[00:05:41] She's being I think she's actually about her actual age now

[00:05:44] Maybe she's playing a little older than she actually is

[00:05:47] Was she playing younger in the first one?

[00:05:49] I think she was because I think in the first movie supposed to be like 14 and the actors probably more like 16 17

[00:05:54] Now like Portman's a tiny woman. She looks like yeah, no it

[00:05:57] It works she doesn't feel as old in this movie as I think her character is supposed to be and yeah

[00:06:02] I know what you mean here's a point. I want to get to right off the bat. Yeah

[00:06:06] I

[00:06:07] Don't know if it's just because it's fucking in the news. It's topical. It's been on mind

[00:06:12] I've been really obsessively following this story what story especially in this scene where she talks to Palpatine

[00:06:19] But also throughout the entire film

[00:06:21] Is there not like a weird?

[00:06:24] Rachel Dolazol thing going on no

[00:06:27] What do you mean her first? I don't want to talk about Rachel Dolazol this scene with Palpatine

[00:06:32] She's got this weird permed hair and she's very much dressed like an African dignitary

[00:06:38] It's just on your mind. I need to rewatch it

[00:06:40] I remember what you're talking about she has like a weird hairstyle

[00:06:42] I also feel like she's weirdly bronzed in this movie

[00:06:45] I think that they just were completely out of ideas with the makeup and the hair they

[00:06:50] Ran through all their good ideas

[00:06:52] They were like Jesus a whole other movie of costumes and shit and now she's a senator so it can't be quite

[00:06:58] Disastentatious her style is terrible in this. Oh, yeah, it is it's bad

[00:07:02] The only time she looks good is at the end when she's in just that the white jumpsuit like that

[00:07:06] She looks her best. No you're out of your mind

[00:07:08] No, it's not in well. Oh, maybe I'd have to rewatch it if you mean generally inspired by hair

[00:07:15] I don't I don't want to talk about Rachel Dolazol and here's another theory. I had okay. I feel like the

[00:07:21] I'm gonna still talk about this for a second

[00:07:23] I feel like the the skin coloration of the actors is a little weird. That's movie really yeah

[00:07:29] I feel like the skin tones are unnatural in this film what part of this has to do with and

[00:07:34] We're gonna do an entire episode to this. This was the first major

[00:07:38] Right studio film shot on video as opposed to film on digital video. Yeah, not on VHS

[00:07:43] Which would have been great which would it was shot on on shot and delivered right like delivered and as a hard drives

[00:07:51] Yeah

[00:07:52] What was at the time the highest available resolution for video and now is a very low resolution right

[00:07:57] And the film does not look incredibly good for that reason. It doesn't look great at times. It looks okay, but it doesn't look great

[00:08:02] I would I would turn her is okay digital shots look great and anytime there's a human element

[00:08:07] It looks a little that is that's fair. Yeah. Yes, but I think lighting a digital

[00:08:13] Video was a new thing so you're saying like the makeup makeup

[00:08:16] I think the makeup is off and I think the other element is episode one shot in UK

[00:08:22] Yeah, well this one shot in the UK to I believe this one was shot in Australia. I'm sure but really I'm gonna look

[00:08:29] You can correct me on this. I am almost certain this film with your movie

[00:08:32] I believe this entire film was shot green screen to Australia

[00:08:37] You're right. Thank you at Fox Studios in Sydney. Yep

[00:08:41] Pick up shots at Ealing in Britain, but mostly no no no you're right

[00:08:45] And then it's something is you obviously that's a tattooing and some plaza de España in Seville

[00:08:50] I assume that's some of the Naboo stuff. Yes, but yeah, so

[00:08:55] my point is

[00:08:58] Natalie Portman is a very very fair scant lady. She looks like me. Oh, you're saying she just transparent Jew flash

[00:09:04] I guess so but you're saying she was just spending some time at the beach in the sun

[00:09:08] Hot country there there is one scene in the motion picture draft day. It's my first scene in the movie

[00:09:14] Where I the weekend before had gone to a theme park, right? Yeah, you're right

[00:09:19] You do look kind of tanned in draft day. Yep, especially yeah, well, I'm thinking of that scene

[00:09:23] It's my first scene. Yeah, I know I know in the film

[00:09:25] I had gone to a theme park the day before with my buddy Tim Simons who has of a v-fame

[00:09:31] Been in talks to be on this podcast. He needs to be on it

[00:09:34] We need to get him Tim please does he listen? I don't know but he wanted to be on

[00:09:38] I really want him to listen to it

[00:09:40] I want Tim Simons to hear my voice Tim. You were great in deep if you're listening

[00:09:43] Please tweet it Tim and tell him to Timothy see Simon's it is it see yeah

[00:09:47] Yeah, please tweet I'm telling to be honest yeah

[00:09:51] God that'd be great. He's he's great. He's one of the greats. He is one of the greats. I love him

[00:09:57] there's a great theme park in

[00:09:59] Ohio it's like the best theme park in America. What's it called Cedar Rapids?

[00:10:03] Okay, I've heard of that place Cedar Falls. Yeah, Cedar Rapids is a movie. Yeah

[00:10:07] They have a ride based on the movie. Oh, it sounds no it's called Cedar Falls

[00:10:10] So you spend time in a hot tub in a swimming pool in a hotel swimming pool with a top of San Heish

[00:10:16] Yes, yeah

[00:10:18] We're way after we went all these roller coasters for a day got really sunburned

[00:10:23] The next day we were filming my first scene the movie. Yeah, you shoot things out of order

[00:10:27] Right and they were like you don't look the same this whole movie takes place on one day on the titular draft day

[00:10:32] Right, we've shot the scenes that take place 30 minutes after this

[00:10:37] And your skin is an entirely different color because I don't I burn you just burn

[00:10:41] So they had to try to put pale makeup over my sunburn

[00:10:45] And I look as my sister put it in my first scene the movie look and I quote my sister very Hispanic

[00:10:54] You're a little Puerto Rican boy

[00:10:55] I look like a little Puerto Rican boy

[00:10:57] I look like Ellie on Gonzalez and then it goes away

[00:10:59] But for the first scene I look very doll-like and weird

[00:11:01] And I think the combination of shooting on video and that wasn't a tested thing

[00:11:04] And you like things differently on video

[00:11:08] I get it there their skins a little tanned and I think combined with the hair and the outfits

[00:11:14] Let us never speak of this. Have me looks like Rachel dolls all if you have an opinion tweet at us hashtag

[00:11:19] Padme dola's all has hashtag ask Rachel. That's the yeah, that's the hashtag ask Rachel

[00:11:24] That's the like funny hashtag on Twitter where you want to oh really make fun of her

[00:11:27] Yep, we don't know we're using our own hashtag. It's hashtag Padme dola's all and tweet yes or no

[00:11:34] hashtag Padme dola's all

[00:11:36] You're a monster

[00:11:38] Jar Jar

[00:11:42] If it's possible Jar Jar even comes off more stupid in this film

[00:11:46] It's because he has less to do but his dialogue now that he's in an official position

[00:11:49] We should address the fact that it's pretty obvious

[00:11:52] George Lucas realized or realized that people didn't like Jar Jar cuz he is in like three scenes and there's a moment like it's so

[00:11:59] Contrasted with the Phantom Manus where Jar Jar isn't scenes he shouldn't be in and this scene Jar Jar is in nose

[00:12:04] Like just section of the plot. He's only there when he needs tiny tiny section of the pot

[00:12:09] There was a moment when he walks past the camera and gives this like smirk he does that's like fuck you

[00:12:14] It's like Jar Jar saying fuck you to the audience like I'm still here

[00:12:17] So yeah, he's there and you're right. He does seem more annoying. It's because he

[00:12:21] Like people take him seriously and has not aged a bit in ten well

[00:12:25] We don't know how the gung and sage. I'm not saying physically. I'm saying mentally. Okay, that's true. We all get wiser with age

[00:12:32] How is he a senator right? He's a center. He seems dumber than he did before it's true

[00:12:36] And it's like you know, I don't believe in like

[00:12:40] You know a cultural homogenization

[00:12:43] But I do think if you're a professional learn how to fucking be a professional proper syntax Jar Jar, you know whatever

[00:12:50] We've talked so much about the gung and okay, so he's excited to see them and I walks in and

[00:12:56] And like doesn't really react is like nice to see you. Thank you. Yeah, she doesn't even seem to acknowledge

[00:13:01] Them as her friends because she's too busy being worried that someone's gonna catch her for being white

[00:13:11] Now we're seeing like the dregs a little bit a little bit I like the slums of chorus on yeah, we get more of that

[00:13:18] Like I feel like it's a little like like like Tokyo inspired a lot of bright colors and light

[00:13:26] Dark density density very mechanical towers. Anyway, she is given this tube like you say

[00:13:34] Whatever he says there goes fucking you know what to do. Yeah exactly

[00:13:37] I know what to do with it and she pilots a little drone over to her

[00:13:40] I'm a dollar's bedroom. She loads this little tube into the drone and it drops to poisonous worms

[00:13:46] Yeah, it's his grist slugs and and we find out right did you say this already the Anakin had to turn off the camera because she

[00:13:53] I didn't like him watching her. Oh, right. That was the thing so our twos in there are two back by the Arches back

[00:13:59] Arches back the the hyperdrive repairing droid. We all know and love he's back. Yeah as her senator droid

[00:14:06] I don't know what I'm surprised of all the characters to bring back

[00:14:08] He's he's not that interesting a character in the first movie, but here he is he's better in this one actually

[00:14:13] He has like 18 times more things to do in this one. He's crazy how much R2 does maybe the third lead of this

[00:14:21] Anyway, so they put our two in as like a room guard like do you ever as a kid you'd have those room guards?

[00:14:26] Yeah, no room guards where it was like all it could sense is if something walked by it would make annoying

[00:14:30] He's not that good. No

[00:14:34] Say Padme's already picking up a creepy like fuckboy vibe from Anakin like why are you fucking watch me?

[00:14:39] Yeah, right cuz she wants like masturbate in peace. That's the thing hurt his job is watch after me

[00:14:44] But she's like don't watch me like that. Yeah, right. I mean, I'm doing buddy

[00:14:47] I'm doing what you told me to use me princess how you're fucking watching me

[00:14:51] You're watching me in a gross sexual way. Don't do it anyway

[00:14:55] The worms come in they almost get her it's a nice little scene our two alarm goes off

[00:14:59] And now I think the Jedi's just sense it remember scanning

[00:15:03] He's getting but the Jedi's just there to Obi-Wan and Anakin talking about like the shit it

[00:15:07] Obi-Wan just took they flip like I said to do and then they run in there and the end

[00:15:12] Anakin chops the little worms in half

[00:15:14] I actually like that it's very cool cuz he does it very cleanly, but it's like right by her neck

[00:15:18] You know so then they look and they're like where where these things come from they see the drone outside the window

[00:15:22] He won goes like I'm on it jumps through the window and grabs it pretty cool

[00:15:26] It's pretty bad. It is pretty cool. And so now Obi-Wan is like flying through the drug

[00:15:32] Yeah, like the lower level I guess so we're not on the floor yet

[00:15:36] We're in the you know he's he's in the air because it's flying around okay

[00:15:39] If we go like Coruscant since it's all one city uptown downtown midtown wouldn't be relative. Yeah, it's like

[00:15:46] You know I get so uptown would be like the Jedi Council the Senate these tall buildings that are very clean and sort of silvery

[00:15:52] We're going down and it's like you know murky colors with neon, you know

[00:15:57] Yeah, it's kind of played runnery with all the with all the neon lights and stuff like that

[00:16:00] We're midtown like right above the downtown buildings

[00:16:04] I would say except played runner obviously is like a master piece of design and this is like completely half-assed and doesn't look

[00:16:08] Good. Yeah, but I like it's getting a different kind of energy

[00:16:12] I do too because Anakin hot wires. I think like a little car. Oh a speeder. Yeah, right?

[00:16:18] The very just steal it. I wasn't clear if that's like theirs or if he just nicks it night next. Yeah, it's a speeder

[00:16:24] Yeah, and Anakin knows the speeder

[00:16:27] And it's different than a spaceship ship speeder. Yeah

[00:16:31] We talked about oh, I know he so he steals the speeder and they are there in pursuit

[00:16:35] Yeah, and I would say this is a successful part of the film

[00:16:40] It could be a lot better

[00:16:42] But it works pretty well like there's some banter

[00:16:46] There's a good

[00:16:49] Invested in who the characters are it's new it looks different from you know, you're still like you're saying we're seeing cars on

[00:16:55] It's happening in you know the surface so the car is flying everywhere. It's like a totally different environment

[00:17:00] And there are a lot of character beats within it

[00:17:02] I mean like Obi-Wan is holding on to this drone flying through eventually he ends up in the speeder with Anakin

[00:17:06] And it becomes a running bit of like how dangerous a driver Anakin is

[00:17:10] He's a he's he's crazy and he does all kinds of wacky stunts and he's always losing his lightsaber

[00:17:16] I wouldn't say it's funny, but I would say it's okay. I'm doing to be much better than I appreciate

[00:17:21] I agree

[00:17:22] It's a shitty rush hour ripoff where it's like man. What have I told you about like I don't love the

[00:17:27] Delivery of I hate when he does that when Anakin jumps out of the car to land on her space cars

[00:17:32] Sam Wessel, that's her name. Yeah

[00:17:35] But you know I appreciate it like that's the thing to aim for I like the direction they're going into

[00:17:40] Here's the big point though

[00:17:42] They've just left Padme by herself. That is true. There one job. Is there any protector there?

[00:17:47] Oh, yeah, oh R2-D2 who fucking failed before

[00:17:51] Jojo's out he wasn't he's not in her bedroom. It's true. Why right now? She's defenseless

[00:17:56] Why doesn't another assassin the silver guy?

[00:17:59] Why doesn't he just show up and just fucking shoot her dead right there?

[00:18:02] Also, why doesn't like Obi-Wan jump on the the drone and Anakin go like well?

[00:18:06] I'll stay well and it can impulsive though. I mean that's part of it, right?

[00:18:09] He does a lot of impulsive things he flies through some power couplings

[00:18:13] Yeah, and Obi-Wan complains about that he loses his life

[00:18:16] And then they land at a bar

[00:18:21] Which is a good scene it's once again a very different environment than we've seen in Phantom Menace doesn't like it

[00:18:27] They landed a bar and hates this podcast. They landed a bar. I don't hate this

[00:18:35] Then okay of the three movies we've discussed in the podcast all three of which you hate

[00:18:39] How would you rank the judge Phantom Menace and attack of the clowns? So tough

[00:18:44] Well, we're just getting into it. So I'll say attack is like I can bear it's fresh

[00:18:50] Yeah, it's fresh

[00:18:51] It's still got some I haven't had to listen to like nine more episodes yet and then I'll go judge next

[00:18:58] Hey Phantom Menace more than the judge. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely hate the judge the most me too. Yeah, no question

[00:19:04] I mean I didn't watch the whole movie. I think I like phantom the best

[00:19:09] I

[00:19:11] Like attack right now. All right. Well, let's see anyway. I just want to get to I like that scene where they go to the bar and

[00:19:18] Mouse from the Matrix. Yeah says do you want some that sticks one of my two favorite characters in the film

[00:19:24] Oh, is that fucking guy Evan sleaze bagano?

[00:19:31] So his name is Evan I'm sorry it's Evan Oh

[00:19:35] So it's not a human name they added an O at the end so it sounds sure Evan Oh

[00:19:39] Is he's I mean he's got like hair or ears or something or antenna sleaze

[00:19:44] bagano

[00:19:45] fun sidebar a couple months ago. I was talking to my

[00:19:50] Agents sure responsible for trying to make sure my career

[00:19:54] Exists sure do they listen to the podcast? No, this is the very point

[00:19:58] I'm building up to right now go ahead and I was like saying like I want to do any podcast

[00:20:01] I'm like trying to figure out what to make a podcast about and they were like well the thing you're best at is like talking

[00:20:05] Out movies, but I feel like it's dangerous for you to do a podcast about movies because you'll end up publicly going on the record

[00:20:11] Speaking about a lot of things you don't like when you might then have to get jobs from those people sure. That's a good point

[00:20:17] I'm probably

[00:20:19] Whatever Trevor was not even making dress park 5. Yeah, it's great

[00:20:23] I don't care about speaking shit about con Trevor the man who directed the biggest opening weekend of all time

[00:20:28] No, it's the second biggest. No it in the final numbers it now is a bigger up in Avengers

[00:20:33] Yeah, it's the number one highest grossing

[00:20:34] That's a bummer because I really like I like that the Avengers was on top

[00:20:38] That's a nice movie a dress world's a piece of shit and I hope contra pro doesn't hire me. I

[00:20:43] Just said that should I uh?

[00:20:45] No keep that in okay? I'm gonna. I played in Jurassic World

[00:20:49] I guess the Jake Johnson part but Jake Johnson actually did a great job

[00:20:52] He's the one good character in that phone. We can't talk about Jurassic World anymore

[00:20:54] I don't want to dignify it fair attention. It's like the Rachel Dola is all of movies all it wants is our attention for asking

[00:21:00] Stop giving it attention and her okay. We're not gonna talk about them. She's a great lady

[00:21:07] Well so to we're kind of wrapping up on this opening sequence, which I think is what we're just Evan sleaze back

[00:21:11] We're talking about subtext so saying the subtext in Jurassic World is is kind of in Jurassic World

[00:21:16] I'm saying the subtext yet in Jurassic World is kind of

[00:21:20] Anti-feminist right oh sure only suddenly right intended or no there it is and I think George is doing an interestingly similar thing here in this scene

[00:21:27] Okay, so we're watching the movie or going well. It's a movie made by a man, but it's not all biographical

[00:21:32] And he's not on screen. I don't know how he feels about everything for example

[00:21:35] I don't know how George Lucas feels about cigarettes as a concept sure I guess so they never come up

[00:21:41] Okay, then a character walks up you want to buy some netics. He's got a gross voice

[00:21:45] Yeah, he talks like waddo a little bit but his voice is clearly modulated

[00:21:52] He

[00:21:54] Looks unhealthy. Yeah, I'll say he's got like rings around his eyes and he's in a sleazy bar

[00:21:58] He's in a sleazy bar. Yeah, they don't say this on screen

[00:22:01] But his name is Evan sleaze bagano right and they says hey do you want to buy some desktics?

[00:22:06] And it'll be one literally brain washes him like yeah says like those are not good for you

[00:22:11] You don't want you don't want to buy me tell me desktics and he's like I don't want to say that six

[00:22:14] He's like you want to go and make something up your life

[00:22:17] He says the those will harm you like he says like those are not good for you because they're not good for me

[00:22:21] But he says something that's like you should smoke those such a bad for you. So call me crazy. I

[00:22:27] Think George Lucas doesn't like cigarettes. Okay. I don't like cigarettes either. I'm with you George

[00:22:32] No, but I'm saying I think maybe death sticks are meant to represent cigarettes

[00:22:36] Yeah, okay. What are you where are you going with me?

[00:22:38] I'm saying this is an interesting subtextual thing

[00:22:43] But here's his character his name's Evan sleaze bagano think that he's a sleaze bag

[00:22:48] He offers death sticks. They look like cigarettes. I think the death sticks are supposed to be like drugs, but sure

[00:22:54] I'm with you. He's a sleaze bag

[00:22:56] What keep idea character spotlight? I got his first name wrong. His name is L. Anne sleaze bagano

[00:23:01] Great, and so I know he's a male Alasar death stick dealer in the planet Coruscant during the

[00:23:07] Session is a sessionist moment

[00:23:09] Director's name. He was mouse in the matrix a Matt Doran

[00:23:12] Yeah, you never had a career, but he did have that one so good these two movies sure my favorite character in each film

[00:23:17] Maybe I'd like him in the matrix

[00:23:19] He's not my best bag knows on Coruscant the capital of the Galactic Republic during the sessionist moment movement shortly before the ballot

[00:23:25] This isn't really anything. All right. Who cares? Like I said, Wikipedia is not good for attack of the clones

[00:23:30] Yeah, this one's really what is your point?

[00:23:33] You had a point you were building to I feel like maybe

[00:23:36] Did I think George Lucas is anti-cigarette?

[00:23:39] No, not that point that the first 20 minutes of the noir movie. Well, I'm saying no my point is that's why once again

[00:23:46] We're making our first episode the beginning of the film right because we want to look at what the film sets up and whether or not the film

[00:23:53] Plays off of that builds off of that and plays out

[00:23:57] What is established in the in the first chunk? Sure

[00:24:01] My point I'm building up to is I'm setting the stage for a fucking great ten episode run of attack of the podcast

[00:24:07] What will happen next what's gonna happen next? We've seen the whole thing. We know but we want to go to a diner

[00:24:14] Time can only tell

[00:24:18] Will Anakin ride a headless blob rhino, I don't know how to describe it. Yeah, maybe

[00:24:25] You know because as we've acknowledged like ever since we remembered that this movie existed like our memories have

[00:24:32] Unclouded a little bit and we've remembered that we actually saw it in theaters a bunch and like we're fully aware of its existence

[00:24:37] Yeah, it's all coming back to us now. Yeah, attack of the clones made

[00:24:41] 302 million dollars at the box. Oh, I'm saying for fun. I know Phantom Ennis made

[00:24:46] $431 million. Okay, so I was bam right on there and attack the clones was how much 200 300 million dollars 302

[00:24:53] Okay, so it's right in the nugget but we're talking to me 650 worldwide

[00:24:58] This is before the international market. Well, I love that. We're starting out with such boring

[00:25:02] Phantom Ennis made a billion dollars world-wide, but that's also including the 3d rude fine

[00:25:07] But there's a steep drop off between the two

[00:25:09] Yeah, a little bit of just I think maybe excitement being let out of the balloon

[00:25:14] yeah and title being attack of the clones and

[00:25:18] Wasn't it wasn't good promotional campaign? No, it's not it was not an ex you were just not as

[00:25:23] There's nothing you know there was nothing to grab on to like what he can't fall in love

[00:25:26] Oh, let me let me buy my ticket now and also that first movie was not good and people didn't want to see the second

[00:25:33] Ben reminds us controversial opinion from producer Ben aka the bandu sir aka Purdue urban aka the Hawes aka

[00:25:39] Hello fennel aka the poet laureate who scoop David?

[00:25:43] Oh, I don't know if you know this I didn't today when we are recording this episode

[00:25:47] Which you not here for at least five days because we record them about a week in advance right is

[00:25:51] Bump of a bomb Ben's birthday wait today's Ben's birthday today's Ben's birthday. Oh, how are they Ben? Thanks guys?

[00:25:57] Oh, how old are you 30?

[00:26:00] Nail net yeah

[00:26:02] Yep, 30 years old so you are what's days? Okay? Wait? I'm trying to figure out what your zodiac is cancer

[00:26:10] You're a cancer. Yeah, I'm pretty emotional today too. So I'm living up to it great

[00:26:15] How do you feel about?

[00:26:18] Spending your birthday talking about attack of the clones it's good. It's a good distraction

[00:26:24] That's right. That's what all this is all for all of us. No, I was looking forward to today. Yeah, I'm excited to get to relive

[00:26:33] Attack of the clones once more once again for the second time out of ten

[00:26:38] So this is gonna this is gonna be a clones based episode

[00:26:41] We're gonna dig into the clones but how's keeping it's Ben's birthday check everyone send him a fucking happy birthday message

[00:26:46] A week from now when you hear this podcast

[00:26:49] Birthday fennel yes, yeah, please bake him a fennel cake

[00:26:56] Not a funnel cake though not a funnel. No, it can be a fennel cake in the shape of a funnel

[00:27:01] But it has to be

[00:27:03] Yes

[00:27:04] Now just just so I'm clear

[00:27:07] Missical fighting order right mm-hmm Jedi's yeah, they put this one guy on the case one guy. Okay. He goes to a forensics

[00:27:15] Expert let's say his buddy at a 50s diner right okay, and now he's going to the archives

[00:27:20] Mm-hmm cool alright, so this is the knowledge that this is from the planet Camino great. Yeah, all right

[00:27:25] I just wanted to make sure that thread so far. I mean when you put it like that, but it sounds great

[00:27:30] Yeah, it sounds though like a ridiculous detective

[00:27:34] So yeah, but it's the basics of it, you know, there's not a lot of intricacy to it

[00:27:39] It's like they get the assassin the assassin dies the dart

[00:27:44] Where is this point to Camino? All right, you know like moving pretty quick up until this point

[00:27:48] You're like maybe he's gonna have to keep on searching and we're gonna see every time we come back to Obi-Wan

[00:27:53] He's in a different place talking to a different person right meeting all different

[00:27:56] You know no, but I like the direction. It's going into up until this point goes to the library

[00:28:00] Chakas to new Chakas to new good old Chakas to new wearing a very in come ono. She is the Jedi librarian

[00:28:06] She's got like chopsticks in her hair. It's got chopsticks in her hair

[00:28:10] She's a real fuddy duddy fun fact about your constant new nope I

[00:28:15] Got any of those I got one for you little merchandise spotlight

[00:28:19] Chakas to new was a made-in to an action figure only a couple years ago after rampant fan demand

[00:28:26] She was no joke the most demanded

[00:28:29] Unmade attack of the clones character. Why I don't know but fans are going

[00:28:34] But sir they were just kept on sending emails go and make us to cost a new and they were like it was 13 years ago

[00:28:39] Get over it. She's also like so annoying. Yeah, like she to me represents everything that sucks about the Jedi which is like

[00:28:47] Obi-Wan is like

[00:28:49] Camino is missing from the our Jedi archives like it's this planet should be here and it's not here and she rather than

[00:28:55] Like say like wow, that's weird. She's like if it's not in the archives

[00:28:58] It doesn't exist throwing a lot of shade like she can't accept the that the integrity of her system could have been breached

[00:29:06] So instead a whole planet must not exist

[00:29:09] But she also says it with like a kind of mean girl like well if it's not in here then it doesn't exist because I do my

[00:29:15] Job correctly Obi-Wan should be like yo

[00:29:17] There's been a breach like you should be fired because he goes to Yoda and Yoda runs the question by a bunch of six

[00:29:23] Year-olds and the six year olds are like someone

[00:29:26] Like the six year olds can figure it out. Yeah, he's like how if there's a planet that's not in the library

[00:29:32] How can it exist and a six year olds like well someone took it out of the library

[00:29:36] That's the by the way one of the most wrenchingly awkward like it takes forever

[00:29:40] You notice being so sweet and sickly yeah master Yona

[00:29:47] This is I think there's more tension between us this time

[00:29:53] Attack of the clones or as I'm like a little pissed off at it

[00:29:56] You're definitely pissed at it. I was so pumped for it and then it was a really annoying disappointment

[00:30:02] I'm charmed by so much of it. Mm-hmm, but I get that yeah

[00:30:06] So they tell them they tell him it's not in there right?

[00:30:11] Yeah, they tell him it's not in there. Yeah, how does he find it then? I already forget how he then finds it

[00:30:17] I

[00:30:20] Guess he just goes there. Yeah, there's like no real explanation

[00:30:23] Everyone's like well mean because it's like he knows where it's supposed to be

[00:30:27] Yeah, right right the question wasn't he was trying to find the location

[00:30:30] He was trying to find information so we didn't have to take a whole fucking trip to get there

[00:30:34] He was trying to see like a is there a number I can call is there like an email address?

[00:30:38] And they were like nope you just got to go

[00:30:41] Email address Dexter's told you it's in the outer rim. Just keep on driving. He says it's here

[00:30:46] It's next to the what's it called the maze the next to the old prospector mine

[00:30:51] Yeah, the reishi maze which is some you know, it's just a galaxy within a galaxy

[00:30:55] I have no idea couple parsecs away from there. He says that yeah, and so Obe one is like yoink

[00:31:00] There's nothing here. Yeah, I guess someone hacked our archives

[00:31:03] No one deals with that information by the way

[00:31:06] This is should be a monumental because the way she's acting is like that would be impossible Wow

[00:31:10] Maybe there's a mole in the Jedi organization higher planet not there not possible the planet

[00:31:16] Shares this information with some six-year-olds and no one else doesn't

[00:31:20] Yoda has like this real fear of shit leaking this whole movie

[00:31:23] So he's like I'm only talking about this with whoever's in this room right now, but with them

[00:31:27] I'll talk about it. I'll talk about openly, but then never tell anyone else you fucking six-year-olds

[00:31:32] Now a lot of plants we've seen in this phantom anus universe are themed

[00:31:36] Oh, we got a desert planet

[00:31:39] Coruscant planet where the entire planet is a city. That is true Naboo is more foresty

[00:31:43] Yeah, Naboo is perhaps the most diverse looking planet. Yeah looks it's kind of earthy kind of a nice earth

[00:31:49] Yeah, you're right. The others are all just one thing desert city

[00:31:53] This is the water planet. This is water this whole planet. It's pretty much water

[00:31:58] They don't say it but you you see it and it's really overcast. Yeah, it's like darkest night. It's stormy

[00:32:05] Yeah, it's raining really hard

[00:32:07] It's how you know

[00:32:08] It's a weather planet because it's a plant where it never stops raining apparently

[00:32:12] And it's the whole thing is covered in water and all the buildings are like Jetsons buildings

[00:32:16] Yes, like they're like on sticks elevated above the water and there's these they're this sort of like saucer shaped

[00:32:22] Yeah, like they have that kind of 50s 60s sort of world of the future designed to them right right

[00:32:27] I look like the CN Tower in Toronto. Yeah, and there are this seems to be a planet

[00:32:32] Yeah, it's just like oceans giant whales and then these these very elegant little buildings. Yeah

[00:32:38] so he jumps inside mm-hmm and

[00:32:40] They're like just to say it's it's on that noir thread of like, you know how it's always like raining in norm

[00:32:47] Oh, yeah, right so right he goes to a planet where it's always raining

[00:32:50] Except then he goes inside like an iPod basically this is where the whole set looks like an iPod the mystery thing falls apart at this very moment

[00:32:57] It's the worst it feels like it's rain. He's gonna review this person

[00:33:00] I gotta lean to another person. This is where it falls apart the whole movie

[00:33:03] I would already fall no work after this point everything

[00:33:06] I'm charmed by in this movie happens before this very point and from then on out. I'm frustrated with this film. Yeah, there's still a

[00:33:14] Lot I like overall. I'm not crazy about it, but but the movie falls apart he walks in

[00:33:20] To I guess just like the front entrance of the planet is the visitor center

[00:33:26] Is this the whole planet like oh, yeah, welcome to the entry desk for Camino the planet

[00:33:32] Where'd you get these clothes? Who is the original?

[00:33:34] They go, you know the man the man we clone them from

[00:33:38] Da da da da and he goes wait. I'm sorry back up. Who did you clone these people from who is the origin?

[00:33:43] You could pick anyone in the world right so go who's the best fighter?

[00:33:47] Who's the greatest soldier of all time also like do you have to just have one guy?

[00:33:51] You can't have like kind of a multitude

[00:33:53] Is it is the idea that it has to be just one guy over and over again

[00:33:57] I don't think so wouldn't be so much easier

[00:33:58] Just be like if you can modify the genetics that much maybe it's like at this point on autopilot

[00:34:03] It's the presets and I was just like you keep on churning out. We got the one DNA sample

[00:34:07] We're gonna keep on trying it out because who's this guy and they go oh right?

[00:34:10] It's some bounty hunter. It's some crook some low level like it's so crazy

[00:34:18] But a cipher DS insisted isn't that the idea?

[00:34:21] Isn't it said like cipher DS was like Django Fett. That's your guy with which why

[00:34:26] Yeah, it says well they they say cypher DS

[00:34:29] You know brought him to it said this is the guy and they say you know

[00:34:33] In addition to be compensating being compensated very well like they point out that he's being compensated very well, right?

[00:34:41] He had only one other demand

[00:34:43] he wants

[00:34:45] One clone for himself, but unaltered. Yes, no adjustments made that he can raise yeah

[00:34:50] He wants to raise himself as a boy. I kind of like that idea. Yeah if it was explored

[00:34:55] Right, which is not word explored. It would be cool

[00:34:58] But right like the idea must be like here's someone who obviously can't enter a romantic partnership

[00:35:03] Yeah, doesn't know want to have a kid because there's two but like what if he just had himself? Yeah

[00:35:07] This is kind of maybe the yaddle of the movie. I'm not saying that character is the yaddle

[00:35:12] But I'm saying this this son whose name is Boba fat boba boba boba

[00:35:18] He also has a little New Zealand accent who plays him

[00:35:23] He that's kind of like

[00:35:27] It's present you're like oh that's maybe a movie I would watch is a guy raising the clone of himself

[00:35:31] Right on this weird planet because they they bring he lives there. Yeah, they go. Can I meet this guy?

[00:35:36] They go. Oh, yeah, sure. He's got a room here

[00:35:38] So they're like walking past all these clones that look like him and they bring them in and so there's some

[00:35:43] Backquarters and he this dude's now being paid so well. He's got a tiny room

[00:35:48] It's really small and he's still sort of just like they go like hey where he been

[00:35:52] He's like around it's like what you're still a bounty hunter like you've been paid so well. Yeah, why are you still about out of the game?

[00:36:00] Midnight run is all about a guy who doesn't want to be a bounty hunter anymore

[00:36:03] And we know by the way at this point that this is the guy who killed Sam whistle, right?

[00:36:07] And we find out very quickly. I'm pretty sure we get it

[00:36:10] We see him he's a human being because we've heard his voice talking to Sam

[00:36:14] I mean, it's you know the moment that connects the dots is we see him

[00:36:18] he's in just sort of like his classic fatigues and

[00:36:22] Obi-Wan starts asking him questions and he whispers something to his son boob a fat in like some alien and language

[00:36:29] Yeah, and boob a fat doodle flee boob a fit

[00:36:34] Boba okay. It's a new character. I'm not familiar with him

[00:36:38] He dood a flee runs down the hallway and hits a button closing a closet

[00:36:43] And we see that the thing on the other end of the closet door that has been closed is the armor

[00:36:49] The armor right that's a silver and I forgot right so then we're like, okay

[00:36:52] And then again in this noir fashion

[00:36:56] But without any of the actual grist like Obi-Wan and Django have this kind of like in you endo filled conversation

[00:37:03] Where it's like you ever been to Corison? Maybe a couple of times recently fairly

[00:37:09] How was it? Oh he goes what?

[00:37:11] There for some business. It goes was it successful and he goes fairly

[00:37:15] Fairly successful and like by the way no it wasn't no

[00:37:21] You blew it. Yeah, you did a terrible job anyway, maybe retire. I mean, it's a harp on midnight run which I think is

[00:37:27] Like a platonic ideal. It's like a perfect

[00:37:30] But the crux of that film is oh man being a bounty hunter sucks. Yeah, it's a terrible job

[00:37:36] We all understand this is a terrible job

[00:37:38] All denier wants to do is get that one big job right that one big payout that allows him to start a restaurant

[00:37:45] That's what he's always dreamed

[00:37:45] He wants to be dexter jester to speak in terms that attack of the cloners will understand right our attack heads

[00:37:54] Clona acts

[00:37:56] He is a Django Fett who wishes he could become a dexter jester and the second he gets that payout

[00:38:03] It's like that's what he's gonna do. He's gonna get out of the game, right? Django Fett has hit

[00:38:07] Pay dirt, but he's he's not giving up the old life. No

[00:38:12] But why and he's got a tiny shitty room

[00:38:14] We don't know anything we don't know anything about this character. It's never explored this guy kind of seems like a piece of shit

[00:38:19] And I don't understand why they cloned him. Yeah, and he's like physically fit right

[00:38:23] But also not the best human specimen in the world. I mean that's how he's being presented to us though

[00:38:29] I think that's the idea. It's like here's Django Fett. Yeah, he knows what he's doing. He'll work

[00:38:34] But even like they talk about how like

[00:38:36] Mace Windu is really powerful and this movie it's kind of set up

[00:38:40] That's why that's mace windu's place within the Jedi a

[00:38:43] Hierarchy is that he's the most powerful force wise they say that a couple times

[00:38:47] So like Yoda's the why is this mace windu's the most powerful?

[00:38:50] Right. He's like the best fighter, right? Yeah

[00:38:53] So if the Jedi's were actually the ones who asked for this army, they'd be like, oh just get me some

[00:38:58] Do that'd be pretty cool

[00:38:59] Let's have a bunch of army of Samuel L. Jackson's right and they all have the force that sounds great

[00:39:03] But you're forgetting. Oh, I'm not done in secret. That's why I said if right if so they're like interest

[00:39:09] I foot DS 10 years ago Jedi master

[00:39:11] He has this tense conversation with Django

[00:39:14] He meets Boba and he goes back to the Jedi Council and they're like we got no idea what the fuck he's talking

[00:39:19] Right, and they're like is there any chance?

[00:39:22] Cipher DS did this 10 years ago, and they're like no because always talking them through like hologram

[00:39:28] Yeah

[00:39:30] It's like a cold shivery and it's like just go back indoors like that's got a ton of space there

[00:39:35] Find a bathroom. I don't know do anything right

[00:39:39] But he says he is like

[00:39:42] Any chance and they're like no the timeline you're presenting

[00:39:45] I think so if I die right before that, right? Oh, oh, and he says to Django

[00:39:49] He's like so what what's the deal? Cypher dies and she goes like Cypher who is yeah

[00:39:54] He's like a guy called tyrannous. Yeah, that's who set me up with this

[00:39:58] And he's on like the moons of boogan or something. He says some silly nonsense

[00:40:02] Garbage right because a man named our ass from the moons of boogan. He's like what so he goes to then he's like tyrannous

[00:40:10] Sephidias any of this that make any sense to you and they're like absolutely not and

[00:40:13] Instead of digging further into the mystery. Yeah, whoa

[00:40:16] He he fights Django fat right

[00:40:18] He's like wanting to leave the planet and then Django fat comes out in his armor now

[00:40:21] I'm shooting at him kind of a cool scene I guess yeah

[00:40:24] It's never really seen like Jedi versus non Jedi like any like who's not like just a stupid clone

[00:40:31] battle trooper. Yeah, it is so

[00:40:35] Bogged down by shitty CGI rain

[00:40:37] It's really terrible

[00:40:39] Like it's clear that the only thing that's real is a cool idea or that they're standing on and then the entire background

[00:40:45] The planets you want the rain is

[00:40:48] It all like it doesn't have a lot of weight to it doesn't but the actual fight itself

[00:40:52] I guess as well choreographed pretty good Django's cool. He's got a rock

[00:40:57] He's cool guy these like kind of

[00:41:00] Wild west ray guns, you know that he like kind of

[00:41:03] Sideholsters and he flips them off they look real tight

[00:41:07] Tights my word of the day

[00:41:08] But yeah, it stops being easy to follow and when he comes to the Jedi Council with like the biggest questions yet

[00:41:16] They're like well, we don't know what to tell you

[00:41:18] That sounds crazy. We definitely didn't yeah

[00:41:21] They're like this is nuts a clone army and we paid for it Wow that well none of us approve that so yeah

[00:41:29] And then and then they're like tyrants and like yeah don't know he is and then I mean just come back home

[00:41:34] And I gotta do your laundry

[00:41:35] And we'll get into this more later

[00:41:37] But then this just sets up at the end of the movie where it's kind of like they approve an army and then it's like well

[00:41:43] It's right over here. Yeah, and everyone no one apparently asked the question like excuse me

[00:41:49] Who are these people and where did they come from and what is this?

[00:41:53] Yeah, and if you take off their helmet, they all have the exact same face

[00:41:56] And they all like ship off into these giant ships that are I guess already existing and like it's like I

[00:42:05] Mean I understand that Palpatine supposed to be sort of like pulling one over on the galaxy

[00:42:10] But like was no one picking up like the receipts and being like where did all of this shit come from?

[00:42:15] Well, this is the craziest thing to me

[00:42:18] Where did these people?

[00:42:20] Oh deus pay up front quote unquote siphody must have the commino insert like

[00:42:26] When you arise like excuse you were 50%

[00:42:30] Your deposit but we're gonna need the other 50%

[00:42:33] Fucky

[00:42:35] Who was this guy? I mean that's the thing what a dumb name like the movie is presenting questions

[00:42:41] And we're getting invested and trying to find out the answers and then they are not answered right

[00:42:44] So it's like what's siphody ass an alias that a bad guy was using we know he was a real guy

[00:42:49] But was someone pretending to be him or what's siphody? Okay siphody is let's read about this male human Jedi master

[00:42:56] Last decade to the Republic

[00:42:59] So he's old guard kind of guy secretly he apparently he did it. This is wookie pedia though

[00:43:04] So they're saying he did it so was he kind of in cahoots with the Sith was he just like a real like military a fish and auto

[00:43:11] Was like you know what I'm just gonna buy an army case. They are he was convinced to do it by dooku

[00:43:18] And it does seem like and we'll get to do later obviously

[00:43:21] But it does seems like he was he was made a young Jedi getting swayed by the the allure

[00:43:26] Yeah, I'm an older Jedi saying like hey things are bad

[00:43:30] Like we might need an army. Yeah, I are getting weak. He's like, you know, you're right

[00:43:35] I should do this

[00:43:36] Presumably do who gave him the money. I mean it doesn't seem like Jedi is independently wealthy

[00:43:40] What's his name? This is all in the expanded universe. Right away again. This is never discussed no in the films

[00:43:48] Hago Damascus aka Darth Plagueis, okay who is Darth Sidious's like

[00:43:54] Master, okay?

[00:43:55] He he provides the funds

[00:43:59] But so I don't know that he's a siph I guess does he come from like a wealthy family? Yeah

[00:44:03] He's like a businessman. Yeah, you had a good app. Like what did he?

[00:44:07] He's a businessman. He has a company called the Damascus

[00:44:13] Holdings I cannot tabulate how much again none of this is in the movie. Yeah, but here's like

[00:44:18] Look, I don't need them to give me all of this, but I also little more well

[00:44:22] I need to get some impression of who siphody S was as a guy

[00:44:26] Maybe dooku could later say like a siphody S was just a pawn like I manipulated him like you know into buying that army

[00:44:33] We're even like he was killed ten years earlier, right?

[00:44:35] You know Jedi's don't seem to get killed that often. I guess not they're pretty peaceful

[00:44:40] I mean we saw Qui-Gon die, but it's like extreme circumstances

[00:44:44] I would love it if they were like yes, I thought he has got killed at weird circumstances

[00:44:49] Also, he was acting really weird the last couple months of his life

[00:44:53] Like not you know

[00:44:54] It was that ham-fisted if it was just kind of like setting up like oh that guy was

[00:44:58] So weird was going on there also aren't they mind reading Jedi's this is what I always circle back to I get the Jedi's

[00:45:04] Could maybe might be harder to read another Jedi right cuz they also have

[00:45:08] So like that's a thing when everyone's doing that like fucking like detective conversation

[00:45:14] Like playing koi with Django. He also could just be asking him like hey some weather we got here, huh?

[00:45:19] And then just reading his mind

[00:45:21] That's a good point

[00:45:23] You could just go like so you see any good plays or something yeah

[00:45:26] This guy is Django fat this guy is the assassin this is Django fat

[00:45:30] Why don't they read suckin zam whistles mind with it like who said you yeah, she's like I can't tell you the light well too

[00:45:35] Like we just now you're dead. I can't read your mind anyway to get too scared off by your lizard face

[00:45:41] This movie's insane. It's really insane. This is the most insane plot concept in the film

[00:45:48] There are probably more insane things that happen

[00:45:50] But the idea that there's just a planet that makes clones and like did it in secret and provide

[00:45:55] That is the craziest thing that is the biggest leap of logic the film makes and it I would say if like the it's a mile

[00:46:02] Wide the leap you have to make it makes it like 10 feet across and then just falls into the abyss that's being very generous exactly

[00:46:08] Then final thoughts. It's your birthday. Oh, man. Well kids

[00:46:13] You know try to enjoy your 20s because it's all downhill from here. I've been told 30 is better than ever

[00:46:20] Okay, have you I mean how of the last 16 hours of your life been?

[00:46:27] I

[00:46:29] Don't know okay. Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, I know you're feeling like the existential dread but you also like

[00:46:37] Feels like it's going all right. No. Yeah, things are good

[00:46:40] Things are good. You're fucking producing attack of the podcast. That's true

[00:46:43] That is true David and you know what Griffin and David present I keep putting my name first

[00:46:47] I always actually put your name first to when I describe it to people. You're right. Yeah

[00:46:51] I should be looking up. I mean I'm producing this great Star Wars

[00:46:57] And you love Star Wars. I

[00:46:59] Sit great so good to your favorite movies. Yeah, yeah level. Yeah, it's so good

[00:47:05] But final thoughts. I just yeah, just did not deliver

[00:47:10] Did not deliver on this if they're gonna go for the detective thing come on like yeah, go for it

[00:47:16] They do not investigation where no nothing's really answered. Yes

[00:47:20] Yeah, they give us bigger questions and then they just go like well, I guess we can never find out right. That's it

[00:47:25] We should get to the topic of the week

[00:47:27] Okay, right so the topic is we're trying to figure out what the fuck this character. I guess I guess it's an Anakin episode

[00:47:32] But specifically not the romance but the

[00:47:35] Character the anger the anger the anger

[00:47:39] Anakin Skywalker also known as trouble on Tatooine a lot of trouble on Tatooine

[00:47:45] Mmm

[00:47:47] Okay, so let's just put this in context for a little bit. Okay

[00:47:51] The first Star Wars movie

[00:47:54] The Phantom Menace Phantom Menace were introduced to young Anakin. Yeah, he's a

[00:47:59] Cherub he's a cherub. He's got big chubby cheeks and he's got a rosy smile and love saying yippee

[00:48:06] Yeah, and he like always is looking on the bright side of life

[00:48:10] Which is helpful for him because he's you know in a pretty dire life situation

[00:48:15] You know like

[00:48:17] Your your your slave to a spare part salesman build a robot, you know. Yeah, you know

[00:48:24] Not much to do on Tatooine except for race pod racing do pod racing do some

[00:48:31] You know is it a deadly sport? Yeah, who cares you'll be fine

[00:48:35] someone did do a great photo shoot a slideshow of

[00:48:40] Like Adam Sandler on the red carpet is premieres with like the leading ladies in his movie

[00:48:45] And in the red carpet isn't he always like wearing basically like a New York Jets jersey or what?

[00:48:49] Like he is like the most dressed down guy in the universe. Hey, Marti shirt right shorts

[00:48:54] Like but like those that are literally covered in shit baggy cargo shorts. Yeah, well, yeah, right

[00:49:00] And then the women who have played his wives or girlfriends in the last movie Salma Hayek

[00:49:04] Who's played his Jessica Biel?

[00:49:07] Oh my Katie Holmes crazy

[00:49:10] Adam Sandler. Yeah, who's the love interest and don't miss with his own hand

[00:49:14] Manual chicory. There you go. Yeah, what she like half his age. Yeah. Yeah anyway

[00:49:20] Brooklyn Decker, right?

[00:49:24] Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman and who's in just go with it?

[00:49:30] Let's do a Sandler episode sometime what's the best Sandler movie is oh, you think period?

[00:49:36] Yeah over Billy Madison. Yeah, I

[00:49:39] Would put those two neck and neck I think or even forgetting the original like Billy Madison happy Gilmore wedding singer where he's like

[00:49:46] You know establishing his brand those three are really good. So I think I think so and is the most audacious film

[00:49:51] He's made for forgetting funny people. Okay guys you overlooked click

[00:49:56] Click is weird. Ben loves click. You love click love it

[00:50:00] Do you like it when he gets all old because he fast forwarded through life? I didn't see that coming

[00:50:06] Twist you didn't know that Ben loves click now. You haven't been listening to click and click. Yeah, click and click

[00:50:12] Secret podcast

[00:50:16] There's just so much you could say about yeah like the scene where Terry Cruz

[00:50:20] Lip syncs to a song and then Adam Sandler mutes him he mutes them. Nope great

[00:50:26] He's got our remote control controls life. Yep weird. He misses the dragon tails ears. Anyway, let's

[00:50:33] Get back on to I don't even know how we got onto this. We're talking about

[00:50:37] Rewinds it goes back in time

[00:50:39] No, I know he does have an remote control and he also you got their remote control at the beyond section of bed bath and beyond

[00:50:44] Let's not forget that but I think yeah, it's not just that he's angry

[00:50:48] It's that his angst is represented in this way that is hard to engage with a little shit. Is that what you're saying?

[00:50:54] He's a little shit. He's got this like crappy Bronx accent thing that he's doing

[00:51:00] I

[00:51:01] Hate I hate being a Jedi. I love

[00:51:04] We're talking about a character who we know was a slave who was taken from his poor mother

[00:51:10] Yeah, and then his like mentor was killed and he was thrust into this like terror

[00:51:16] Like we should be on his side. Yeah, I'm saying and immediately we're like, oh god like Obi-Wan

[00:51:22] Will you get like give this kid a spanking or something like what's the matter with this guy?

[00:51:26] We do not like him but part of it is a failure

[00:51:29] It's the fundamental failure of the film you don't like you don't sympathize with Anakin Skywalker because he's

[00:51:35] Because he sucks. He's sullen the whole movie. Yeah, he doesn't have right. Yeah, you don't see what the appeal is

[00:51:41] Yeah, there's a Padme or to anyone really yeah

[00:51:43] And when we say like, you know this episode about to the arc of Anakin Skywalker

[00:51:48] It's really an arc in relation to the first movie. He doesn't change that much within this one

[00:51:53] No, it's just that he's different compared to Phantom Man right. He's kind of unhappy with everything that happens

[00:51:58] Yeah, how old is he supposed to be like 18 now?

[00:52:00] This is the question yeah like watching the movie when it first came out

[00:52:04] I was younger than him sure right and I was like this is like a fucking adult

[00:52:08] This is a team. This is what I have to look forward to and now I watch the movie and I he's like a little boy

[00:52:13] Yeah, yeah, of course in a way that makes me not relate to him but like

[00:52:19] Empathize with him a little bit where I'm like well everyone's awful in there teenage

[00:52:23] I guess I guess I get that I'm saying yeah, sure like it's not a likable character

[00:52:26] And it's a poor choice for how to frame your protagonist years go ahead

[00:52:30] But but I do watch it. I'm just like this is bad phase like it's like those three uncomfortable years in boyhood

[00:52:36] We're like this kid's really tough to watch but here's the thing

[00:52:40] Why is he talking about like no one talks about their problems like that when they're at 17 year old full with

[00:52:45] Anx like the hallmark of 17 year old filled with Anx is that they're incapable of talking about communicate their feelings they can't communicate anything and

[00:52:53] The first thing he's basically seemed to Obi-Wan who's basically his surrogate father

[00:52:57] Yeah, and he's like Jesus you know Padme won't even look at me like a man

[00:53:01] And it's like he would never say that to him never fucking that is all you know buried deep down those sorts of

[00:53:08] Anxieties and neuroses now here's a question for you

[00:53:11] This movie the fact that that's like the opening conversation. Yeah, and then he keeps on bringing it up

[00:53:16] Oh, yeah, and Padme I can't wait to see her again

[00:53:18] And then after he sees her oh man Padme didn't even look at me. Oh wow master

[00:53:23] I do believe she looked at you. Yeah, but not the way I wanted to look at me

[00:53:26] Do you think that like for the last 10 years?

[00:53:30] He's just been jerking it and won't stop talking about to Obi-Wan. Yeah, nobody wants like Jesus crazy

[00:53:35] It's fucking like if that's not one week with her

[00:53:37] This is what I don't get and I think I asked this five years older

[00:53:40] I think I asked this already. Why couldn't they just like see her once in a while? Yeah, they both live on course, huh?

[00:53:46] Just visit what I know it I know that the whole planet is a city as Ben is gesturing

[00:53:50] Yeah, the whole planet. Let's remember and gave the classic the whole planet

[00:53:54] Hope planets a city. You know the gesture. I'm sure you can all imagine so maybe traffic

[00:53:59] You know, it's like oh, I'd love to see her but

[00:54:01] You know she lives on the Western Hemisphere. We're over here on the Eastern Hemisphere

[00:54:05] You know who knows weekend trip. I don't know and I know that Jedi training

[00:54:09] You know you probably have to go off to the training planet or whatever to do your training

[00:54:13] I don't know how the Jedi is trained there

[00:54:15] all we know is like Yoda teaches you when you're five and then by the time you're 18 you're real pain in the ass with a

[00:54:21] lightsaber oh

[00:54:22] Yeah, and in Tatooine he does meet water. Oh boy. That sucks. Should we talk about this now?

[00:54:27] Yeah, it's probably the best time to talk about it

[00:54:29] Yeah

[00:54:29] So I I just want to point out this is the least sticky least memorable movie in the world

[00:54:34] We already can't remember like

[00:54:37] So yeah, they go to Tatooine go to Tatooine and they land in Mos Aspa

[00:54:41] I guess right and it's like oh remember this and he go right and he goes to find wado

[00:54:46] And it's kind of a good idea in the movie

[00:54:48] Actually return to the scene of the first film which we remember but like everything's a little different and

[00:54:54] Anakin is no longer like the helpless slave like he's

[00:54:57] He's a powerful Jedi powerful Jedi and he's a padwan, but whatever

[00:55:02] Light saber and he goes to see wado wado looks the same except for a hat

[00:55:07] He's got unbelievable hat. He's got a it's kind of like a World War one

[00:55:11] Nettle helmet T kind of thing, but it's very flat

[00:55:15] Yeah with a little indentation for his tiny little bulbous head

[00:55:19] I feel like you maybe his vest has more pockets in it

[00:55:21] I mean he's like but he's pretty much rocking the same thing but with this little Sun hat

[00:55:24] Which is like about time you should I mean like two points one is that hat probably provides some necessary shade from from the

[00:55:32] unrelenting

[00:55:33] Sunlight of the dual suns tattooing the binary Sun second point if you're gonna wear any hat

[00:55:40] To protect from the Sun why pick one made of metal that

[00:55:44] Real hot

[00:55:46] He put it on once and now he can't take it off because it's

[00:55:49] Melted to his flash. It's like dr. Doom's mask

[00:55:53] He put it on to like cover up one little scar and then melted his entire face and that is by the way

[00:55:58] It is the weirdest thing about dr. Doom's origin story that it's like yeah, he just he just put that mask on a little too fast

[00:56:05] He's a genius no, I know I get that it's about his impatience and his one also his vanity is extreme

[00:56:10] Then he had one scar which he felt so self-conscious about

[00:56:13] Do it make me a mask and they were like okay your mask is done

[00:56:16] He went okay give it to me he had he just put it on as well

[00:56:19] So in the new movie is it like he goes with them?

[00:56:23] Yeah, the idea to the which is off of ultimate fantastic yeah, which I don't like but he doesn't have them

[00:56:29] I mean, I think he becomes a sort of cyber. Yeah, dr. Doom's a tough

[00:56:34] character to do in the modern film world

[00:56:37] Tough tough character to do I think and I did you know I spent most of my high school

[00:56:40] Yes, yeah, I do know I wrote my college admissions essay on fantastic for yeah

[00:56:45] And about like the way you would do it

[00:56:46] There's nothing I would want to do more in the world then like a 60s fantastic for me

[00:56:50] Let me say the second thing I want to do most in the world is make a fantastic for a movie the way

[00:56:55] I think it needs to be made the number one thing I want to do in the world's fuck TC 14

[00:56:59] So they're in tattooing they see water my favorite character. Yeah

[00:57:05] And they say what happened to Schme?

[00:57:07] Well, you're missing you're jumping way ahead. All right fine way at Kenokai

[00:57:11] I think this is beat by beat hit by David. This is my favorite character. We've been building all right water

[00:57:15] What does he do? I don't remember

[00:57:19] Well, I think we got a non-traff the bat the fire in his eyes is it's true. He looks real sad

[00:57:26] Yeah, it's true. His beard grown out. He's sitting outside like he's not even in his shop, right?

[00:57:30] He's sort of at a stall a vendor. He doesn't look good. No

[00:57:34] Most of it looks a little run down. It looked like even though it's already looked pretty run down

[00:57:38] Yeah, it looks like it's on harder times maybe yeah, and he just looks like he's like selling some pencils and a cop or something

[00:57:45] He's got more stubble than even usual and he takes a second to recognize and oh more than second. Yeah

[00:57:53] He's not even like selling it as hard as he used to

[00:57:56] And they're like hi, do you know

[00:57:59] Schme Skywalker and he is like

[00:58:04] Now I think he says that he sold her to another to the Lars family

[00:58:08] Yes, he sold to the large it's not like he freed her but they have yeah

[00:58:11] Oh, it's just that she's then like one of the Lars family fell for her and they freed her and they got married

[00:58:17] No, I think that happened late. I think the whole idea is that like all water did was sell her

[00:58:23] Yeah, and I think he sold her because he knew she was in love

[00:58:26] No, no, I'm saying money he sold her and then at the Lars homestead right Owen

[00:58:31] Which one is it? No the Kleg Lars Kleg Lars right fell and Owens their kid or yeah, yeah, that's Bruce's girlfriend

[00:58:39] Oh, yeah, no Owens like his kid from a previous marriage. There's a lot of like complex family shit Joel Edgerton plays the great Joel Edger

[00:58:46] Oh and which is crazy. Yeah

[00:58:49] We but I want to hit on this one another Australian actor Wado does not even recognize and no

[00:58:55] No, I mean he has grown and changed into a different person right completely

[00:59:00] Okay, we have a guest this week what yeah, Rachel dole is all

[00:59:04] Last week we did we talked about it a lot half right her name is Rachel. That's true

[00:59:11] Rachel Lang hi Rachel. Hello. I'm Rachel and our former trivia teammate. Yep after weeks of putting it off

[00:59:18] This is the romance episode we're getting into the romance which is perhaps

[00:59:21] Dequadron quote

[00:59:24] Emotional core of the film I guess so is it well, it's supposed to be it's it's like

[00:59:31] It's this like huge thing

[00:59:33] That had not even be there's no well

[00:59:36] I guess there's a little bit laid out in the first movie, but the second movie

[00:59:40] Right the second movie. It's like this

[00:59:42] It's like this is the central conflict of the movie right and it can inner war between like being a Jedi and being in love

[00:59:49] Yeah, now we have danced around the subject because we didn't want to blow the load

[00:59:53] We knew we were gonna talk about this at an episode length

[00:59:58] Where this this plotline is not very effective for either us no and was not when we saw the film you Rachel

[01:00:05] I gross teenage boys

[01:00:07] I was 13 years old. Yep when I saw this movie four times in theaters 2002. Yeah

[01:00:14] And I thought it was the most beautiful love story I had ever seen

[01:00:18] ever and I think I still thought that until about the year

[01:00:22] 2000

[01:00:24] 2007 was there a rewatch at that point or did you just I had seen it a lot since then and me Rachel before the

[01:00:31] But we're talking about John Williams's love theme and how much she you cared about that

[01:00:35] I think that really contributed to my misconception

[01:00:39] It's not a misconception. It's just it was your concept my incorrect opinion of how beautiful this love story

[01:00:45] There's a whole

[01:00:47] Feature on the special features about love. I don't know if you guys watch. I'm pretty sure I watched it

[01:00:52] At some point maybe not recently. Okay, I watched it at 8 a.m. This morning. Yeah, it was great

[01:00:59] But so across the stars. Yes is the main track. Yes

[01:01:04] Prethesies love theme uh-huh

[01:01:07] You had sort of intense fandom specifically for that track. Yes, I

[01:01:12] Went to see John Williams conduct the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra

[01:01:16] When you're about how old we I think probably 14

[01:01:19] He came by the next year, right? It was a year your your love for their love was still lingering

[01:01:25] Absolutely, I'm sure I watched the film before I went to see the music played live just to get a taste of like the

[01:01:32] Recorded track so I could compare it with the live

[01:01:35] orchestrations and they did not disappoint. Um, I cried I

[01:01:40] Absolutely

[01:01:43] I'll add that I saw this

[01:01:45] I mean, I was in a full audience but no one in my family would come with me. So I was there alone

[01:01:50] Wow

[01:01:52] I was very cultured

[01:01:56] It is what was I gonna say I wanted to ask so if this was the transcendent romance for you in 2002

[01:02:01] Like what was it topping? Like did you feel that way about Titanic or like ever after I'm trying to think about like the romantic

[01:02:08] The big romantic movies of our youth

[01:02:11] First one where you felt that strongly about a love in in film in cinema

[01:02:16] Cuz I feel like this replace I would absolutely say that it was I I was the first way you'd never felt this strongly

[01:02:21] I I loved Titanic, yeah, and it's one of the I think it's the second VHS

[01:02:27] I ever bought the first is miscongeniality

[01:02:29] and

[01:02:32] You know, I loved it thought it was great was barely allowed to watch it because there were boobies in it

[01:02:36] And there's one thing that my parents don't like boobies

[01:02:41] So

[01:02:47] Bearing so artfully cut off and I was gonna say in the arena a genosis the pillars look a lot like vaginas

[01:02:54] Well, even the actually I was noticing this to the whole platform that they're on is covered in vaginal imagery

[01:03:01] Thank you. Okay, Ben. We're shaking his head. You have noticed this. Yeah, they're vagina. They're vagina

[01:03:05] I asked my girlfriend. They are but China's we are big vagina experts

[01:03:09] We know what they look like those are vagina. That's two women watching the movie together both of whom have vaginas

[01:03:17] Confirming that I am not a dirty-minded boy

[01:03:20] But I am on the money Ben I say as I point his face Ben you haven't introduced Ben by the way

[01:03:26] ladies and gentlemen

[01:03:29] Producer Ben aka producer Ben aka the Ben Deucer aka the poet laureate aka the haze aka

[01:03:35] Mr. Positive himself hello, hello, hello, hello fennel. Um, yeah, I guess I missed the vagina imagery

[01:03:43] But I wasn't I wouldn't I just need to remind myself what it looks like. I can't remember what you guys

[01:03:52] They're like they look like it's like a part of a human body that looks like the pillars in the arena genosis

[01:03:59] Made of flesh and not stone

[01:04:01] Yeah, I'm not bringing any bells, but anyway, okay, well, I'll wikipedia later

[01:04:06] You know we'll Google it you and I David later

[01:04:09] In this small booth we're in right now no windows you and I close the door

[01:04:15] There's some detailed points that we skim over here. So you went you went to the concert by yourself

[01:04:20] Yes, I did and I remember that I you know was crying and then I like a lot a lot

[01:04:28] Like many tears like my shirt got a little wet, you know and I was like

[01:04:33] God, I don't remember what I was wearing

[01:04:35] But I know that it was like something that a sad suburban girl who's pretty fat a near Pittsburgh would wear because they thought

[01:04:42] It was a nice dress-up outfit to wear to a concert

[01:04:46] And then I made my dad

[01:04:50] Pretty cheap guy and I begged and I begged and I begged to get the extra like

[01:04:54] $50 thing where you got to meet and greet John Williams and he did

[01:04:59] But he didn't come with you no

[01:05:01] That would have been another like

[01:05:04] $70 that's crazy. So I

[01:05:06] Went and I stood just like shaking in line as like mothers institute introduced their like trumpet playing sons to John Williams

[01:05:13] And it was amazing, but I felt I was like, oh my god. I don't play an instrument

[01:05:18] I don't belong here. This is awful. And then I finally got next in line and I got a big sweaty hug from John Williams

[01:05:26] Conducting his hard work. Yeah post conducting so he worked up this y'all

[01:05:30] Yeah, that's a real bigger drenched in what and I don't remember what I said, but he signed my

[01:05:36] Copy of the CD of the attack of the clones. Yeah, I had the one that had Yoda with the little lightning force ball that he's collected

[01:05:45] And I still have that that signed by J W

[01:05:50] Okay, they make it through the crazy droid factory maze, right?

[01:05:54] There's all that but that's not romance. We'll get to well. No, no, but here's the this is they make out

[01:05:59] So then they're captured they're captured by the course of course

[01:06:02] And now the two of them are in this like chariot. They're being prepared

[01:06:08] You know whatever the pit yeah, I did her pit remember

[01:06:11] There's this scene where they're talking to each other and she's like Anakin if they think they're gonna die this happens

[01:06:17] I just want you know

[01:06:20] He doesn't reply with like I love you too. I thought we agreed

[01:06:29] And she said we live a lie

[01:06:32] That would be living alive and she said the secret would destroy our lives

[01:06:37] And she says I actually like this line you like anything would be better after the line

[01:06:42] No, I think that's one lines cute

[01:06:43] I think this one line gets to like feeling like an actual young romance

[01:06:47] She goes

[01:06:48] I thought we agree we're gonna fall in love because this and that and the secret would do this and would eat us up and destroy

[01:06:53] Our lives just hating Christians since delivery is worse than Griffin like verbatim kind of going

[01:06:57] I gotta yeah, yeah

[01:06:59] Destroy our lives the point he ends with and it would destroy our lives

[01:07:02] And then she sort of like looks out towards like the door of the arena. She goes I think her lives are about to be destroyed

[01:07:08] That is not a good line. I like we wasted all that. It's not good. I like it

[01:07:13] It's like kind of yeah, I mean that we know that's why she's a lose some monsters about to eat me right and then

[01:07:19] She's like, but I do I do love you and I

[01:07:21] Think Portman actually kind of does a good job

[01:07:23] She does a great job in this scene. She actually captures music the emotion of like a doomed love

[01:07:30] The music plays they kiss as the doors open and they're real and the tree wheeled out to be executed

[01:07:35] You know very public and graphic weird way

[01:07:39] Yeah, and it's also doesn't help that new gunray is up there and he's like hey

[01:07:43] She's gonna die in front of me. Oh, right because it's very very passively like

[01:07:50] Offhandedly mentioned that oh I realized that new gunray is the one who was trying to kill I guess so

[01:07:56] Like in one sentence that hologram that gets interrupted by the destroyer droid has like 17 plot points

[01:08:05] And you're like very casual. It's like I got here Jango Fed. He's here on genosis Count Dooku's here

[01:08:10] He's been establishing a droid army the new gun rays gonna use to unite the four federations to fight against the Republic

[01:08:16] We now have the clone army by the way new gun rays the one who is trying to kill

[01:08:21] Oh, no, oh

[01:08:24] Rachel yes, those are yes, yes or no. Yes, maybe

[01:08:30] How does the love plot of this film work for you today

[01:08:37] Um

[01:08:39] Were there any nostalgic things remembering what it felt like or did all just lay cold like a bunch of dead

[01:08:46] Gungans I think

[01:08:48] I

[01:08:49] Mean definitely leaning toward dead cold Gungans for sure. Yeah

[01:08:53] Yeah, the only like twinges of like nostalgic came from the music and maybe from this

[01:08:59] Like you're saying the death the execution love confession. I was like, okay, maybe and then

[01:09:06] And you know the rest of the movie happens and it's all still kind of bad and because the stakes are actually high in that moment

[01:09:12] It's like oh

[01:09:13] Might die them confessing their love means something and they're not just creating artificial blocks, right?

[01:09:18] I mean every scene of them before that talking about love could

[01:09:23] You could just take the dialogue from one and plop it on to any of the other ones and it would be

[01:09:29] Not different like them in the

[01:09:31] What is it the refugee?

[01:09:33] Like cruiser thing and like that might the lake like you could switch any of those around basically and it would be the same thing

[01:09:41] It definitely feels like a movie made by someone who hates love

[01:09:46] Absolutely

[01:09:48] George Lucas met his wife at a business conference

[01:09:51] He's his current his current wife because he was married in the

[01:09:55] And his wife left him for a man who was installing stained glass windows in their house

[01:09:59] I did not know that stained glass windows really an artist like Paolo

[01:10:07] His wife was his editor on his first couple movies

[01:10:10] Ah, ah, T.H.X. and the like yeah

[01:10:13] And then he didn't work for a while

[01:10:16] A lot of people theorize that she was kind of like the missing element that she was maybe the humanity to his work

[01:10:22] I see I see because he was not with his current wife

[01:10:27] When attack of clones is being made right now. He meets her later

[01:10:30] Yeah, I don't think they met until 2003 or

[01:10:33] Ah, all right, so maybe yeah, they were having a conference about attack

[01:10:37] Yeah, I make yeah, he was a man who lived in a castle by himself adopted like three children filled with stained glass

[01:10:44] Yeah, I was just like I don't need love. I can raise children on my own. I make art. I'm fine

[01:10:49] Like and then now it's like a George you come on podcast, right?

[01:10:52] You bash yourself in the corner. You got to make him way about love and he's like oh fuck

[01:10:55] What does love sound like? I talk about sand

[01:10:59] I wonder if it was like there was four pages of sand talk and Stopper was like

[01:11:04] Can we lose all of this and Lucas is like no way and he was like alright. I'm gonna do what I can here

[01:11:10] We're against a lot

[01:11:11] Well, I was gonna say I read that she is the one who instated the two-term limit on being a queen

[01:11:17] Yeah, she's just so she was just too precocious for her own good really

[01:11:22] She's demoted herself. I've been dictator for life. She should as Anakin would have preferred. Oh, yeah

[01:11:27] He likes dictators. Yeah like to dick her

[01:11:30] Nope. No, no, no definitely not nope

[01:11:35] And we have a very special guest with us today

[01:11:39] he is a

[01:11:42] Comedian slash filmmaker slash writer slash actor slash blah blah blah blah blah ladies and gentlemen Morgan Evans. Hello

[01:11:49] Hey Morgan, how's it going good? Is this podcast as long as the movie longer?

[01:11:54] How long is the two and twenty two?

[01:11:57] Yeah, did you watch you had to watch it I watched it last night. Yeah, was it?

[01:12:01] I'd seen it before and had you seen it since it came out. Yes, okay

[01:12:06] Yeah, I've seen like I've watched all six a few times, but I don't know what that means. It's very confusing

[01:12:12] Yeah, I watched all two Star Wars movies. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

[01:12:16] You've watched all six movies that have ever been made so it's a

[01:12:22] Yeah, and yeah, no I would say that it's not good

[01:12:27] Yeah

[01:12:29] Okay, you know this

[01:12:31] Yeah, it's where all the separatists are chilling right? It's like this is where they're plotting with this mysterious count do

[01:12:39] We got count dooku. Here's a new plot thread. He's apparently an ex Jedi. Yeah, right by the way

[01:12:44] That's a choice. We're allowed to do that. There's studied under Yoda

[01:12:47] Yeah, study under you this is how much discussion of there is of count dooku before he shows up

[01:12:52] Maybe a couple lines. I feel like they call him the mysterious count dooku multiple. Yeah, yeah, he's just mysterious

[01:12:59] That's all we know about him right and he is in the opening scroll

[01:13:02] Yeah, they say like he's broken off these planets right serious count do yeah

[01:13:06] by the way

[01:13:07] You're selling a screenplay and you open it up and the first thing that

[01:13:12] Happens is a title that takes up three pages of backstory. That's not in the film

[01:13:18] Yeah, I don't think you'd could get it made unless you were George Lucas

[01:13:22] It's things where people could do whatever the fuck they want

[01:13:24] We never talked did he sell it

[01:13:26] Did is it the same as Phantom is where he like pre sold the merchandise rights and that's how he funded it?

[01:13:31] Was it the same deal? I think this might

[01:13:34] No, no, no, he definitely saw financed it

[01:13:37] I don't know if there was as rich a toy deal in advance like Phantom s was specifically like for that movie

[01:13:42] Yeah, yes that might have been money left over but it was it was so fine

[01:13:46] We got to talk about so count do who he's talked about in the crawl

[01:13:50] There's the seamer jacquas a new finger blast him, but other than that

[01:13:53] There's not recounts him finger-blasting her. No, she she finger blasts him. Okay fine. Yeah, they cut that in the middle of the movie

[01:14:01] Yeah, it was weird. Yeah. Yeah, we should just finger blast his penis hole

[01:14:05] Are you talking about finger? Was that when the lightning that when you use the force and there's lightning is that finger blast

[01:14:11] That's great. Oh great. Yeah, she finger blasts into his penis hole

[01:14:15] lightning up his pee hole

[01:14:19] Griffin please

[01:14:20] help us

[01:14:22] My favorite line happens in the droid assembly line which is

[01:14:26] See 3p o watch it and he goes

[01:14:29] machines making

[01:14:32] Like now I've seen everything, you know like you have it they make machines make machines now

[01:14:37] It's not really science fiction. Yeah, that happened like as soon as Ford came around

[01:14:43] Remember this was a long time ago. It's true in a galaxy for this movie was a long time

[01:14:48] My favorite line is when see 3p. I just says I'm so confused

[01:14:52] Yeah, when he's got his head on a right thing what about when his head's being dragged and he goes

[01:14:56] Oh, what a drag. Yeah, I wrote that down. I don't want to forget

[01:15:01] There's so much bizarre inclusion of yeah that like

[01:15:07] Comedy in this movie. I honestly think it's for kids like I think it's so much heavy

[01:15:11] That's true talk about shit

[01:15:12] Like I mean like I'm into men has it like all the way through Jar Jar Jar, you know, like whereas this has not had it

[01:15:18] So yeah, let's right concentrated this whole this point the film has been very mature

[01:15:22] Well like in that in the air scar review of it

[01:15:25] He was saying that you get this distinct feeling that like will this be on the test

[01:15:30] You know like at the beginning of the movie

[01:15:32] It's like well the moon of Naboo and you're like what the fuck does that like is that important?

[01:15:37] Like you guys have been talking for 15 minutes about something and and I have no idea what's going on

[01:15:42] And then so I think you need see 3p. Oh being like I'm so confused to be like, okay

[01:15:48] Someone gets it by not getting exactly

[01:15:51] And also third film you'd be you'd be setting up you'd be closing out

[01:15:55] It's a trilogy you only make three films three is three is the perfect number is a magic

[01:15:59] There's a story they're building to you know, there's some sort of arc to all of this

[01:16:03] What it is right? But you assume in a third film he would have made it all clear like hindsight's 2020

[01:16:09] Absolutely, you would have seen definitely would have wrapped everything up really satisfying with no trouble at all

[01:16:13] Yeah, we would have understand we understand why they spent we would have understood why they spent so much time on booba fat

[01:16:20] You know like things like that all these weird little like side tracks. Yeah, don't go anyway

[01:16:26] Yeah, can we get back to the main plot? Okay, so Obi-Wan is in yeah, right in the first thing and do coup who like

[01:16:34] Just talk about mr. X right like everything in the test

[01:16:37] Cifo DS has been mentioned so much sure watch this movie go Cifo DS is the villain right they said he's dead

[01:16:42] It turns out he's not really don't know who that

[01:16:45] No effort to explain what they're talking about and also they give him the most like confusing name where you're like

[01:16:50] Cifo is that his name

[01:16:53] It was like a part they needed we need a Cifo DS for the show

[01:17:02] Anyway, you're right they keep talking about this guy who never shows up right yeah

[01:17:06] So Duku is like well they talked about a few times been very vague terms is like used to be a Jedi now

[01:17:11] He's the count now. He's doing good stuff right which I just I thought it was like a lifelong commitment

[01:17:15] I thought it's like you know once you give your life to the church

[01:17:18] Then you're like sure for good apparently can just retire if you get a better job offer

[01:17:23] They recruit you when you're a baby they do they raise you they tell you can't fuck

[01:17:27] That's true, and then if you're like

[01:17:34] They kick him out that he retired did he find a hot piece you want to fuck people is that way there possibly you definitely fucked your cost

[01:17:40] And because we know that we know that we know that for 100% certainty

[01:17:44] But now he's on a planet with bug people who all seem to be male

[01:17:46] And like let's not not to stereotype but none of it none of these bug people seem to identify as female true

[01:17:52] But wait, but beyond that point he didn't really get it well

[01:17:55] He did kind of get a new job, but he's like the leader of all this. Yeah, it's like the Separatist king

[01:18:01] Yeah, yeah, and now he's on a planet with bug people in an arena made out of vaginas sure

[01:18:08] Made out of openings. Yeah, and then there's the bug people. There's the the

[01:18:13] Trade Fed or what are they you know the Neimoidians? They're still around. Yeah, they're hanging out with him a lot

[01:18:19] Robot guy who like what Tambor yeah, who has like he's brother of Jeffrey Tambor

[01:18:25] And there's a there's like he's like unified many people right this is the idea right and they're they're looking at this

[01:18:31] Killership they're looking they want to get this. What did you call it?

[01:18:35] Shit I've ever heard I'm like I like this is the densest movie. Yeah, but like even having seen it

[01:18:39] I'm talking about this movie so in such detail. It's ridiculous. I mean I've seen barely tells us

[01:18:44] You watch it last night. Yeah, I've seen it a bunch of times

[01:18:47] But like I would still never know to call them nemoidians like is that something you Google?

[01:18:54] And even every week we have to like correct what we said the last week because it turns out we already got things wrong

[01:18:59] Oh, yeah, it's so hard to keep it straight. We will watch the Scientology. Yeah. Oh, yeah tons of new verbs and nouns and stuff

[01:19:06] You have to know Morgan's getting really into

[01:19:08] Listen Morgan move to LA Morgan Morgan's moving to LA you think season design technology at a safe distance

[01:19:15] He thinks he's just interested they call me every day. Yeah, you're about to get totally absorbed by this

[01:19:19] This podcast is gonna be the last recording of you as a friend. Yeah, they're gonna

[01:19:22] They're gonna like sue us and make a scrub all of that guys all I'm saying is that Scientology isn't that bad

[01:19:28] I mean it's just basically it's just basically like you know

[01:19:33] Just feeling good about yourself and then everything works out okay

[01:19:38] Morgan your girlfriend is an actress and

[01:19:41] Your girlfriend Robin and I were on the same shoot together like two months ago

[01:19:45] And we talked about you the entire time because both of us were concerned that you're gonna get lost the Scientology

[01:19:49] We were like do we have a responsibility to stop this from happening. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up Scientology

[01:19:54] This is a huge tangent, but I did take five hours of

[01:19:57] Exactly

[01:19:59] Because you were like I'm just interested

[01:20:02] Seeing going clear with Neil Casey and I walked out and I was like am I the only one who came out of that going like this

[01:20:08] I want to do this and he was like

[01:20:13] Tom Cruise came out of being like

[01:20:19] The effect of going clear and you saw the movie and we're like I got it

[01:20:22] Over sorry yeah, I heard it was over so I'll admit

[01:20:25] I am the person who saw Super Size me and like left that thinking like

[01:20:28] I could really like that right now it's super good. It's so good. But that's a different McDonald's is

[01:20:33] Objectively the best food in that movie you like he eats remember he eats the Big Mac

[01:20:37] I don't know the happy meal or whatever and then he like throws up outside of the car. Yeah, I was like

[01:20:42] Yeah, I did that

[01:20:47] Prusa band final thoughts

[01:20:49] How are those tits you were looking at?

[01:20:52] One point in the bag as I noticed a bunch of tits that was a pop-up, but I

[01:20:57] Was I did you click the link for that pop-up? No, I didn't well

[01:21:01] How do you get a porn pop-up these days well when you sir?

[01:21:07] Star Wars websites

[01:21:11] Pio Jetson there so they might pop ups are for kids

[01:21:15] Yep

[01:21:18] Now final thoughts bug planets kind of cool. I don't know so you kind of like this part of the movie

[01:21:24] Yeah, that was alright Ben Ben confessed to me before we started recording that he barely remembers the movie

[01:21:31] It's like f5 and I'm really just checking out it's okay

[01:21:35] There's only five more of these to go right the halfway mark right and then we're gonna do one last Google search to make

[01:21:40] Sure, there's no other stars and is taking a knife and slitting his wrist the long ways

[01:21:45] Ben is flashing back to some dienetics that he had earlier. Yep. Yep past lives and all that alright

[01:21:52] Well, that's it for me and our question that we've been

[01:21:57] Now we're on to bump up a bomb performance review part two

[01:22:02] Boom the Star Wars movies the Phantom Manus movies

[01:22:05] They're constantly attacked for having shitty performances

[01:22:08] And we're gonna keep track as we did last time right so we're gonna have to calm it in bad

[01:22:13] I'll keep it tally. Oh, you're gonna keep it. Great. So we're gonna try to make a

[01:22:17] definitive assessment about whether or not the acting in the movie is bad

[01:22:22] Cuz I don't like general statements like oh all the acting is bad

[01:22:25] You know yeah, but do you remember last time that we came close? We came really close

[01:22:29] We have to be a little harsh. Yeah, we gotta be a large cuz we were saying like oh, yeah

[01:22:32] That guy was one lionel dialogue. He did fine great and the acting in that movie is bad

[01:22:36] It is we can't we can't we were really worried at the end

[01:22:38] This is like 15 to 17. Yeah, we have to move on to hating Christians bad performance plays the Anakin Skywalker

[01:22:44] It's a bad terrible. It's a terrible. It's the most ruinous performance in the film

[01:22:49] Infantim who would you give that award to would it be on my best or would it be Jake Lloyd? I

[01:22:54] Would say Jake Lloyd. Oh interesting so what so Anakin's really the millstone. Yeah movies

[01:23:00] Yeah, I really think this character is badly written and it's terribly written

[01:23:04] And he's essentially they're trying to justify some huge payoff. Yeah

[01:23:08] But it's so baffling because he's mostly just kind of a boring annoying little tool

[01:23:12] He's also massively different between the two. Yeah

[01:23:15] It's essentially two separate characters both of whom suck in writing and performance and both of whom the movie is obsessed with

[01:23:22] And you're not totally sure why yeah, this is a crazy universe. Are we missing something?

[01:23:32] Specifically to that character. I also think it's weird these movies are so much about how powerful he is and we don't see that many

[01:23:37] Examples, you know I'm saying like you see like oh he's like good at flying a speed racer

[01:23:41] Yeah, you're not like seeing like oh, he's a Jedi who's like really getting a grassball on these things

[01:23:46] It's a bad. It's a bad. We don't we talk about every episode. We don't need to talk about anymore next

[01:23:51] Christopher Lee as Count Dooku slash Darth tyrannous. I mean this is a great performance. It's a great

[01:23:56] It's the best performance in the film by far

[01:23:58] It is there's one candidate. I'd maybe throw up

[01:24:01] We'll get to that one

[01:24:02] I think this is the part for like last time I was like maybe a little too effusive about Ian McDermid

[01:24:07] I was gonna say I mean McDermid has less to do in it

[01:24:09] I I still maybe vote that McDermid's the best

[01:24:12] No, I just because this character so good

[01:24:14] I think Christopher Lee is handed the same platter of shit that everyone else get in this movie really

[01:24:19] Really bad. Yeah, like it's like okay

[01:24:22] You need to walk into the room and just deliver reams of exposition

[01:24:26] He's like all right screen in front of a green screen, right?

[01:24:29] And he's just like yeah watch me nail it you have to

[01:24:34] 20 minutes before the end of

[01:24:38] Yeah, you walk into a room and you just start spouting exposition yeah to a suspended

[01:24:46] Non-interested non responsive characters just like you know he's a class act it is

[01:24:51] Masterful it's master and then you're going to fight a cartoon green like old man

[01:24:57] And you're gonna make that work too. It's like like good footwork good form

[01:25:01] I like that he's sort of doing more classical sort of like because his lightsaber

[01:25:07] It's the same because the blade is the same oh no question

[01:25:14] It changes the way he fights I design standpoint makes no sense whatsoever

[01:25:18] But whereas all the other lightsabers it tends to be a two-handed kind of like classic sword fighting this kind of thing

[01:25:24] This is more like fencing like he's sticking the one arm out and kind of doing maybe that's to

[01:25:29] Compensate for his lack of mobility. He's an older man, but it works

[01:25:33] It gives him more power and actually makes him more terrifying because he's he's just so controlled and so old school

[01:25:40] It's a great fucking performance. I mean he's he's like turning like it's water into wine

[01:25:46] You know it's water into why it's poop into one. It's poop in he's turning diarrhea into into

[01:25:52] Next Frank Oz is Yoda

[01:25:59] Frank Oz fame puppeteer a great filmmaker in his own right

[01:26:02] He's okay as a filmmaker a puppeteer filmmaker great puppeteer, and he's made like gonna be for them as a puppeteer

[01:26:07] He's pretty famous. Yeah, he's made he's made some great movies

[01:26:11] I love well as much as they made them up at movies

[01:26:14] But he also loves a little finger and yeah, those are great

[01:26:19] Yeah, but and he made the Indian in the cupboard which I think is pretty good. That's a movie

[01:26:23] I think is incredibly solid, but I'm saying you you look at

[01:26:27] Bob which is interesting

[01:26:28] I forgot about what the segment had and little shop of horrors and bowfinger are maybe three of my 50 favorite movies ever

[01:26:33] Fair enough. I got in and out in and out is another solid one solid. I like in and out

[01:26:37] I like what about Bob a lot? I like in Indian the cover

[01:26:41] It's just that after bowfinger he made the score steppard wives death at a funeral

[01:26:45] He made three little three turds. Yeah

[01:26:47] People fall off. Yeah, it's just interesting

[01:26:52] I'm in the score came out. Yeah, and everyone was like this is it you got Brando

[01:26:57] Yeah, then you got Brando's air to Nero then you got to Nero's air Edward Norton

[01:27:01] He was unquestionably the heir apparent at that point

[01:27:04] And I like Edward Norton and I'm always interested in what he has to do, but he is not denieros air

[01:27:11] Also that movie is horseshit

[01:27:14] I was telling someone this is just a podcast now of us telling stories about other movies and other directors

[01:27:19] This is what for four interview is I was telling my friend Sarah a story the other day. I think is incredible

[01:27:26] So Brando hated Frank Oz

[01:27:29] Interesting and didn't he do it with his pants off?

[01:27:34] So Brando from day one agreed to do the movie probably paid five million dollars movie, right? I think

[01:27:40] God was it his very last screen it might have been it's I think it's like the island

[01:27:45] No, that was before that movie is out. It's mine

[01:27:48] He was supposed to do scary movie to right after this

[01:27:51] They were gonna pay him like seven million dollars to be the opening scene of scary movie two and he showed up on set with a

[01:27:56] Respirator tank and could barely breathe and was like

[01:28:02] Jesus Christ, okay, so that's unless you count Superman returns

[01:28:07] He's great. He is. He is great in that

[01:28:10] he

[01:28:12] Agrees to do the film they pay him a lot of money shows one the first day Frank Oz gives him a note

[01:28:16] He goes, I'm not fucking listening to you. You're miss Piggy

[01:28:21] It's funny that he knows that

[01:28:24] Living on his weird tropical island with all his like creepy lady like servants or whatever, but he's like no

[01:28:29] I know this guy's miss Piggy

[01:28:32] Why did he agree to do the movie anytime exactly anytime Frank Oz is like, okay

[01:28:37] So for this one I think we're gonna do start off with a wide and he's like no you miss Piggy

[01:28:41] We're not doing a watch

[01:28:43] So two incredible things happen. What is that for the entire duration of the shoot of the score?

[01:28:50] Robert De Niro is every day wearing a microscopic earpiece and Frank Oz whispers into Rob De Niro's ear

[01:28:58] What he needs as a director and it's a new year for it

[01:29:01] Marlon can I throw something out at you?

[01:29:03] The catcher is like maybe try doing this

[01:29:06] And very nice like yeah sounds like great. I do my impressions are on fleek this episode

[01:29:11] and so

[01:29:14] Robert De Niro sir get directed right all

[01:29:18] Director by the way yeah good shepherd is a fucking master, but he didn't pretend like he was the director

[01:29:23] He just went like yeah, no, he's just like peer-to-peer advice. Yeah, not only is he great director

[01:29:27] He's a great actor. It's how he's acting like he's not a director. That's the thing

[01:29:31] I mean, that's the incredible performance. I'd love to watch that one for the score

[01:29:37] Best behind for the scenes performance

[01:29:39] Yeah, and then the Oscars did that every year be great

[01:29:41] That's like bullshit

[01:29:42] Yeah

[01:29:43] You know from an actor like pretending to like someone and then yeah

[01:29:46] The story you were building up to is there was one shot where there's one scene where Brando believed it should be played

[01:29:52] Entirely in a close-up right he was like this is my emotional beat

[01:29:55] I want it entirely in a close-up and nothing else with no edits and no coverage

[01:29:59] Yeah, and Frank Oz was like I want a wide to like get us into the scene and Brando was like nope only close up

[01:30:05] Right Frank Oz was like I need a wide and brand was like okay

[01:30:07] Let me go back to my trailer and change what he did is brilliant and must have been 80 years old at this point

[01:30:12] Yes. Yeah, he can barely walk right. He looks like

[01:30:15] Jabba the Hut

[01:30:17] Noted Gorg Spitter from the Phantom Ennis. He does he looks terrible. Yes

[01:30:22] He comes out on set just with no pants and no pants

[01:30:26] Yeah, he's just wearing a shirt and then his dick and balls are hanging. I mean maybe I imagine they're obscured by his massive

[01:30:33] Gut his dick and balls are in the wind

[01:30:37] His ass is hanging out

[01:30:39] Fresh air whether or not they're visible depends on what yours where you're standing in relation

[01:30:45] to his tummy

[01:30:46] but

[01:30:47] His dick and balls are out and he goes okay. I'm ready for that wide shot

[01:30:53] And they just can't do it because the wide shot didn't no one say like oh could you put your pants on then?

[01:30:59] We need your pants to be on for this and he went and then I'm right

[01:31:05] Anyway, Frank Oz gets it thumbs down

[01:31:07] Yeah

[01:31:13] To Muramara, son is Django Fett the great tomorrow Morrison the New Zealand actor he's a he's a Maori

[01:31:20] This is a really tough one. I think he's okay

[01:31:24] Yeah in his one scene with them helmet off

[01:31:28] He projects

[01:31:30] Some a little bit of menace the scene in his quarters when he's talking to over you. I'm thinking

[01:31:35] Yeah, there's some interesting tension there that feels like a real scene of two actors acting against each other

[01:31:40] Unlike all the other scenes of my little bit, but that's like to it's a little touch of like oh right

[01:31:44] That's why it's good to have actors in movies because you get tension

[01:31:48] You get energy from the interplay of the two of them right?

[01:31:50] There's like an actual back-and-forth there. That's kind of interesting kind of interesting. Can we say he's good?

[01:31:56] Most of the movie he's wearing a fucking helmet. I don't I mean even the sidelines as mostly physical perform

[01:32:05] He's alright

[01:32:07] I think good is strong. All right. I think that is strong. Let's give him a let's give him a thumbs up

[01:32:13] You're gonna give me a thumbs down. I gotta give you a thumbs down

[01:32:17] All right, then break this time break this tie

[01:32:20] This is tough right?

[01:32:22] Cuz he's not bad and he's not good

[01:32:24] Right. He really is down the middle. He's got moments of both

[01:32:28] I'm trying to think when he when he

[01:32:33] leading up to his death

[01:32:36] Yes, there any kind of interaction between him and his son. Oh, absolutely not he's standing

[01:32:42] At the little box with dooku and he's like go out there get him puts his helmet on goes gets his head sliced off. Yeah

[01:32:50] For for how much they like make a point of being like

[01:32:53] Jengofet had only one request is to raise a clone as his own you never really see any

[01:33:00] Emotional bond between the two of them. Yeah

[01:33:02] And I feel like it doesn't get resolved at all or no kind of real

[01:33:08] Showing of that relationship father son or whatever the fuck is it like does he just want this kid so he can train him

[01:33:13] Does he actually care about him? Is he lonely like that one scene that is kind of good in how he plays off of

[01:33:20] You and McGregor

[01:33:22] He's given nothing off the kid like he's just going like a Django hit the door. Yeah very very very restrained

[01:33:28] It's all internal gotta give us something. I mean, but but he's a bad guy

[01:33:32] Right. He's a bad guy and he is not he's kind of menacing like you said kind of

[01:33:38] I don't know a phantom II way if you compare him to the performance of Christopher Lee

[01:33:45] Then I think is

[01:33:49] He never really feels like a threat. Yeah, that's fair. I think that's very fair

[01:33:53] I think sorry tomorrow. You're great in other movies once the war years is a great movie

[01:33:57] It's almost a good performance

[01:33:58] But we just fall on bad and a lot of it was once again the hand you were dealt George Lucas deal now poop who cards

[01:34:05] That is very true. You got the ace of poops my friend

[01:34:09] Jimmy Smith's okay, Senator Bayer Lord. Okay, one of that. We have not talked about no

[01:34:15] What a weird one so Jimmy Smith's at this point is

[01:34:18] Right off of NYPD blue and Ellie law. Yeah talking about 10 15 years as one of America's like top TV hunks

[01:34:26] Right, he's got Emmys. He's got golden clothes

[01:34:28] I think he had like just left NYPD blue before coming on this so at this point

[01:34:32] We're like this is one of the steadiest presences of the small screen. Yeah, we love him

[01:34:36] We love it. He was on fucking Miami Vice to LA law

[01:34:39] I wasn't on a vice for a couple episodes. Oh, I know he was no regular on LA law

[01:34:43] I am not a fucking regular in LA law. I know he was a regular in LA law

[01:34:47] I know he wasn't a regular Miami vice. I think he had an arc you fucking done

[01:34:52] Brothers keeper which is the greatest only the one episode but he's in that episode which is the great ice

[01:34:57] Yeah, it looks like it's his first credit too, which is crazy. So that's why I remembered

[01:35:02] It was a good episode. It's you know, it's right. It's the pilot right

[01:35:06] I don't want to interject but you guys realize that you just set up someone by being like just coming off of NYPD blue

[01:35:13] Who knows this stuff?

[01:35:16] Ridiculous show. All right. All right. NYPD blue people loved it people loved it

[01:35:21] LA law. He was a hunk de jour he jumps strip straight onto another hit

[01:35:27] Steers it into the golden land a hit hitsville sure he replaced David Caruso

[01:35:32] Let's you know that so do you know NYPD blue has one big season with Dave Caruso Caruso's big star

[01:35:37] He jumps ship goes to be movies fucking scoff at us. This is an important narrative

[01:35:41] He's in jade guys are great together and why pete blows up everyone's like it's all thanks to that Caruso

[01:35:48] Your next big star

[01:35:50] So it's like I'm too big for this town. I'm going to Hollywood so in comes Smith

[01:35:56] Caruso leaves everyone goes. Ah fucking you can't do blue without Caruso

[01:36:01] You might as well call it NYPD. Karoo you might as well

[01:36:06] People thought the show was red because of his hair

[01:36:08] Because of his hair

[01:36:11] NYPD Caruso. Yeah, no it's crazy and they bring in Smiths where Smiths do

[01:36:15] It takes it to the next level. My point is they handed him

[01:36:20] Smiths is a man who has been handed a deck of shitty cards before and he's fucking won

[01:36:26] He swept the table. Guy knows how to play a game. Fucking good movies too. He was in what American me?

[01:36:33] Great movie

[01:36:34] That is a great movie. That's a great movie. My family. Yeah, that's a good movie

[01:36:38] Yeah, there's like this like major like a movement of

[01:36:43] Latino dramas like independent Latino dramas in the 90s and 80s and he's starring in a lot of them doing really good work in

[01:36:50] Important films. They're changing a national conversation. You fucking idiot Ben

[01:36:55] How is he in Star Wars episode 2? Not good

[01:37:00] Whoa what's buried down there right at the bottom?

[01:37:04] Right at the bottom security guard in Bay Pig in the city

[01:37:10] Another Australian film. Yeah, I love this guy. I gotta say now. All right thumbs up

[01:37:16] No, I think I got great voice mostly delivering exposition really interesting rhythm. Yeah, I like it

[01:37:22] And how do you feel about Rena Owen as Lama Sue like it too now? I like I like these

[01:37:28] Come onians. Yeah, Camino ends. I might be a little swayed by I like their design so much and I think

[01:37:35] She's the New Zealand actress

[01:37:36] I think they're the one example of CGI effects in the movie that totally hold up

[01:37:41] I think especially close-ups. They look really great. They hold up the background looks terrible

[01:37:45] They hold up

[01:37:45] I think though the acting work on those characters is really strong and subtle

[01:37:50] And I think the detail work on the actual models is really really good

[01:37:53] Rena Owen also in Once Were Warriors, I believe she's the female lead of Once Were Warriors

[01:37:58] Interesting. She's great. Retuned to Tamara Morrison. Here's something I want to tell you

[01:38:02] Yeah, she is one of six actors in the world to have worked with both George Lucas and Steven Spielberg

[01:38:10] Well, she is an AI playing

[01:38:13] Let's find out. I watched AI like a week ago one of my favorite movies ever made great movie

[01:38:18] Seriously the best she plays a ticket taker

[01:38:23] That's cool for her though. I'm sorry didn't that didn't blow you more. No, it's cool for him

[01:38:27] Next performance. I would like to know who the other five are there. I'd have to think about that Harrison Ford

[01:38:32] No, yeah, he's an American graffiti raise American graffiti and he's handy in the Anjans phones pulled myself out of that deals with

[01:38:40] Anyway, a real indie style Alitha McGrath in

[01:38:45] Ma as madam Joe Costin new

[01:38:48] Ali Alitha McGrath. Well, okay, so this is tough. I think she's good

[01:38:52] I mean, I think she's great if we assume she's playing what we have put on this character

[01:38:58] Yeah, right, but she's playing

[01:39:01] desperate desperate attempt to keep

[01:39:04] Secret the fact that she had an affair with Count Dooku that she feels protective of him in his information because she thinks what they had was love and for

[01:39:11] Another it was just another side piece, you know

[01:39:15] I think that's an interesting performance that she's playing there. Otherwise you could say that maybe she's

[01:39:24] Wait a second, how many thumbs up do we have so far? We are at 12 thumbs up and 14 thumbs down

[01:39:31] Let's give her a thumbs down. I worry about

[01:39:33] We're being so negative this one. Yeah, but then we see both of the commedo and thumbs up

[01:39:39] That's I mean those are thumbs up. We should have been saving up for those

[01:39:42] I'm excited for this one. Okay, Susie Porter as

[01:39:46] Wa7 do you know who wa7 is flow?

[01:39:51] There she is the waitress for Dexter's thingy

[01:39:56] His right there to discuss it's a thumbs up. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a Mac thumbs. It's a thumbs up in two dicks up

[01:40:01] I'm rock is aboard rock is aboard rock as a rock is aboard man

[01:40:06] She also played a character called Hermione Bagua

[01:40:09] Who in this movie in this movie who is another waitress at Dexter's?

[01:40:15] Oh, yes the human waitress in the background. So she's both characters. So she's playing all the waitresses

[01:40:20] So let's give her two thumbs up. No one thumb up is enough for a grand total of four thumbs

[01:40:25] Anyway, then we have dicks

[01:40:29] Matt Doran as Elon sleaze bagano. Oh, I mean

[01:40:34] Another Australian actor best known for another film is performance in another film also shot in Sydney mouse

[01:40:41] Yeah, I mean I love this guy. I always think about

[01:40:45] Wonder what happened to him? I mean it's such a big impression on these he seems to mostly make

[01:40:50] Australian things he's not done much. She's in a lot of shorts these days. It's not you know

[01:40:54] It kind of fell off. I mean dude. Fuck it kills it in this

[01:40:57] I'd say it's probably my favorite supporting performance of 2002 so bizarre, but okay. It's not

[01:41:03] Oscar get fucking razor sharp comic timing you see an entire arc of a man having to question all his life choices up until they

[01:41:10] He's got 40 seconds. You see a man reassessing everything. He's ever done ever been

[01:41:15] He's a sleaze bag and no David. He never had a chance. Yeah, he gets a thumbs up. Let's move on you're at now

[01:41:22] 14 thumbs up and

[01:41:26] 20 thumbs down well, we're almost over okay Alex Noel is JK Pertola

[01:41:31] Do you know who that is now? It's the four-year-old initiate who knows where the fucking system? Oh, yes

[01:41:37] You're giving me a thumbs up. It's great. All right. He's got the goods. What's he been up to since then?

[01:41:41] Alex Noel what's he been up to let's see he's

[01:41:45] Not in any other films ever made okay?

[01:41:50] Phoebe yummy

[01:41:52] Cutty as Mary

[01:41:54] Amethyst another of the initiates a four-year-old human Jedi initiate

[01:41:59] She's a little Asian girl. I don't remember her in this film at all. She sounds cute

[01:42:05] It's adorable and finally Kenny Baker as R2D2. I mean once again, how do we even rank this right?

[01:42:14] Last graded in performer what do you do? I don't I don't know how much that was CGI

[01:42:20] Oh, he's in there

[01:42:24] Yeah, you can fly it you can fly

[01:42:31] There we know it. We know it. We know he's in there

[01:42:33] I say it's another I say what we gave him a too close to call last time. What do we do?

[01:42:38] We ranked him neither good nor bad. He was the one yeah, he gets a he gets a question mark

[01:42:42] He gets a question. I want to point out that Liam Neeson is

[01:42:46] Uncredited as Qui-Gon Jinn archive sound is there even an archive sound is that something that Yoda hears maybe yeah

[01:42:52] I forget what the mom was I look this up

[01:42:54] There's some scene where you can hear Qui-Gon's echo underneath another piece of dialogue. Yeah, okay

[01:43:00] Yeah, they're very vague. Anyway, yeah, I give him a thumbs down

[01:43:04] He shouldn't have he should look to his contract and make sure that it weren't allowed to

[01:43:09] Fucking reuse his dialogue in other movies. Okay, so what's our final tally?

[01:43:16] Okay, so

[01:43:18] Final tally is 15 thumbs up. Okay 20 thumbs down and one question mark for Kenny Baker

[01:43:25] I'm more comfortable with that. I still think we gave too many thumbs up

[01:43:28] So who do we give thumbs up?

[01:43:30] Kiffisto all of the trial Jedi

[01:43:33] both

[01:43:34] Comonians

[01:43:37] Ewan McGregor

[01:43:39] Christian Lee

[01:43:41] Ian McDermott as the bar patron

[01:43:46] We gave thumbs up to the whole cast of Dexter's Diner

[01:43:53] So good I loved it when he told you nice guy

[01:43:56] Gave Jack Thompson underrated performance

[01:44:05] Like lards

[01:44:07] Right, okay, so most improved. Let's go out a couple other superlatives most improved as you and McGregor

[01:44:12] Jack Thompson wins underrated. I'd say

[01:44:17] Dexter Jester's MVP

[01:44:19] Yeah, all right. He's the most memorable. Oh

[01:44:23] You're saying he's an MP

[01:44:26] I'm so hot

[01:44:28] This episode might be our longest ever episode well the commentary

[01:44:32] Yeah, we'll cut some stuff out. No, we won't no no add stuff in that stuff. Yeah

[01:44:35] Yeah, if you can cut in like more of the erotic fan fiction I

[01:44:42] Could do that. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that

[01:44:46] They some Michael Jackson music would love that. Can you end this episode with don't stop to get enough?

[01:44:51] Yeah, play it six times

[01:44:54] Just back to back to back and if they see us tell them they can take all their complaints right to the UCB right to the top

[01:45:00] So my boss yeah, we're gonna go all the way to Besser to the big four

[01:45:04] Yeah, tell them to knock on Amy Polar store. Yeah

[01:45:08] Well, can Amy Polar be a guest on this show? Definitely. We'll get around next week. I'll email her see if she's interested

[01:45:13] What does she Amy at UCB dot com or something like that? It's actually Amy dot

[01:45:17] polar polar

[01:45:20] That is our IP Harris Wittles

[01:45:23] It is one of Harris Wittles is one of my favorite tweets of his which was just like like here's a little scoop

[01:45:27] Everyone you like their email address is just their name a Gmail

[01:45:31] Anytime I've ever gotten an acting job where I'm like a tiny part in a thing with big-ass

[01:45:36] Actors, and there's a mass email. I'm like, oh literally everyone's like Tom Dot Cruz at

[01:45:42] Everyone you could guess any celebrities email

[01:45:47] Now whether they'll reply to you that's another story. They're busy. They're very busy people

[01:45:53] You want to know the dumbest thing about this move my parents are making go ahead and how much stress and anxiety

[01:45:57] It's cost me and how a little sleep I'm getting all this stuff. Yeah, sure really moving five blocks away

[01:46:02] Right, they're moving within a neighborhood basically yeah, and my dad like we went got dinner the other night like

[01:46:09] In the quote-unquote new neighborhood, right? He's like what do you think of the new neighborhood pretty hip, huh?

[01:46:13] five blocks

[01:46:15] But it's not a new neighborhood is it no they're moving there literally within the village

[01:46:20] They're moving like four avenues over yeah, all right. Well new neighborhood. Hey man if you live one place for

[01:46:25] How long they lived in that place?

[01:46:27] My dad's lived there for probably about 35 years. You know anything's a change

[01:46:32] Yeah, I agree

[01:46:33] But that speaks more to the fact that my father never went beyond a five block. He's a parochial man

[01:46:38] Yeah, is what you're saying two blocks away from where he's lived for the last 35 years sure

[01:46:44] And sounds like a good life. He like has like only two places where he eats really yeah

[01:46:49] So I could go find your dad if I went to wherever well

[01:46:52] He used to always go to Grace papaya on eight. I know on a six

[01:46:56] That's yeah, and it's gone now got demolished by a liquid terrier

[01:46:59] Well, your dad has been eating grace papaya hot dogs like as a meal for like decades

[01:47:05] Yeah, those things are not exactly like if I eat like three of those it's an emergency did I mention my father's dad?

[01:47:11] That he died 25 when you say he's moving a few avenues over you mean a few avenues into heaven. He's a ghost dad. Yeah

[01:47:18] Let's talk about ghost. He's a ghost at direct by Sydney party. I

[01:47:23] Know yeah, my father my father he would only grace a pie he get the recession special

[01:47:28] Which was the way to two dogs in a soda or whatever right or provide?

[01:47:32] By the way, this is a podcast about Star Wars episode to attack the cleanse the sequel to the Phantom

[01:47:37] He would get the first time listeners

[01:47:42] Yeah, this isn't talking dad. This is

[01:47:48] Griffin Dave present attack the podcast where we talk about the second and final Star Wars film now my dad

[01:47:53] Let me just know well. Let me finish up my dad and then we'll all have time to talk about dads

[01:48:00] He would or the recession special and then the Atkins craze hit and my father was like I do have a bit of belly

[01:48:06] I should probably lose some weight. Okay, so then he did what he called the modified Atkins

[01:48:10] All right, which was he got the recession special without buns. So he just eat a graceful pile wiener

[01:48:18] That's gross yeah, and also how do you even like how are you handed? It's a hot tube of meat

[01:48:23] Yeah, they were just throw it at it threw it into his mouth. I love grace papaya

[01:48:28] It still exists on 70 second in Broadway. That's the only other true pure grace pie. It's important

[01:48:34] Dog I'm fine with the other papayas. They're just not it's not the same thing

[01:48:37] You know, but if I want a cheap ass meal yeah at like 11 at night or whatever in Manhattan

[01:48:43] Yeah, you know, but there's like the papaya dog on like

[01:48:46] Why is it like six Avenue and like it's right next to the IFC that's correct near Waverly. Yeah, and that one

[01:48:53] Uh, is fine, but they also sell fucking like Philly cheesesteaks and chicken fingers and all these things. Yeah

[01:48:57] It's horseshit. You should just have hot dogs. Well, that's nothing grace a pie just fucking new

[01:49:01] It's like six fruit drinks. Yeah, well the weird the weird thing about grace papaya is they're like

[01:49:05] We're gonna be a hot dog place and what do people like with hot dogs papaya juice

[01:49:10] And exotic fruit drinks it really does feel like it's like someone's like I'm gonna open a bagel store

[01:49:15] And like what are people like with bagels papaya juice like it doesn't match with anything

[01:49:21] But they just decided you know what they're gonna have the fucking papaya juice

[01:49:24] I think the point you're making here is papaya juice doesn't go all of anything. It doesn't really go

[01:49:27] You don't know

[01:49:31] Both movies hinge on this moment where palpatine gets someone to do something for him

[01:49:37] So in the first movie Padme

[01:49:39] Voting no confidence in chancellor valorem and for some reason even though there are a million senators in this like tube hall

[01:49:47] That they live in filled with like little flying platforms

[01:49:50] No one has the guts to do it but Padme does it and then the second movie same thing

[01:49:53] I wish someone would you know vote for an army of the republic and

[01:49:57] Jar Jar Binks. Okay, so in this system. Do you just need one vote to get something passed?

[01:50:02] You need one vote to propose it I guess that's what I'm asking right

[01:50:04] It seems silly that it's not come up before

[01:50:07] And like the jar jar binks thing is it like because he's jar jar is not proposing it

[01:50:11] Is it like oh, they were deadlocked high. They need one additional vote

[01:50:16] out of 50 million votes

[01:50:19] It's a dead tyrant 25 million

[01:50:23] Here's some backstory on the galactic center

[01:50:24] You please the galactic constitution invested it with the power to regulate trade maintain maps of hyperspace routes. Yeah

[01:50:31] and

[01:50:33] had a supreme chancellor

[01:50:35] originally

[01:50:35] So this is all just a fucking trade originally if you just have originally if you have a planet you just get to be in it

[01:50:42] Okay, uh, and then I think it seems like it changes. I don't know. This is like so

[01:50:47] See this is what's this is I'm already I'm starting to have like a panic attack about this

[01:50:51] Can you click on galactic constitution because I think this is just a fucking rabbit hole

[01:50:55] We're gonna keep on going down. It is it is it is linked to this is why I don't understand

[01:50:59] So originally used to be any planet gets represented that makes sense the constitution was written in 25

[01:51:06] Thousand bby so we're talking about 25,000 years before this movie born before yoda. Yeah by a member of house organa

[01:51:14] Which is jimmy smith's house. So that's how long jimmy smith's family has been around 25,000 years. Okay

[01:51:20] Uh, it's the same constitution although it has been modified

[01:51:26] Um, and it creates a senate and a

[01:51:29] Supreme court. It's just a ripoff of our system

[01:51:32] But is it like the un is it like nato? No, it's like the american government and each planet essentially functions as a state

[01:51:40] Yeah, exactly you nailed it. How meaningless do you feel if you're an entire entire?

[01:51:44] I know imagine if there were 50 million states

[01:51:48] Yeah, yeah

[01:51:49] And each state was that large and had like think okay. So the one planet of naboo which functions as a state little planet right

[01:51:57] We see how different the fucking goonkins live from how the humans live true not to mention all the wacky

[01:52:04] spooky sea creatures

[01:52:06] And you're telling me one person gets a vote to represent all of them

[01:52:10] When the goonkins don't even seem to fucking respect it's only at the end of fan of mass that they're like

[01:52:14] Okay, pabba. We can work together. That is this is all very fair. It's all very true

[01:52:18] Uh, so the galactic senate has

[01:52:21] 2,000 congress people a k a senators

[01:52:25] Oh, uh representing sectors systems individual planets corporations and guilds

[01:52:32] Not to being someone who's assigned to speak for an entire system of planets

[01:52:36] Some are elected directly some are appointed by a planets ruler some are a planets ruler

[01:52:42] And they are the only ones with voting power

[01:52:46] I don't know

[01:52:47] You could join or be a signatory to someone who had joined but is it like the un is it like nato?

[01:52:53] I mean, it's like you asked that already. You asked that five seconds ago. I don't understand this. I think it's like our

[01:52:58] Government, but here's the thing. So you're telling me whoever the chancellor is is allowed to tell every single fucking plan at what to do

[01:53:06] No, because the chancellor's like the president right

[01:53:09] All right, well all right

[01:53:11] Great the president of of the galaxy

[01:53:15] Yeah, the universe

[01:53:16] Yeah

[01:53:18] Maybe well of the republic of the organization that is helping to

[01:53:23] Yeah, the senate is led by a supreme chancellor

[01:53:26] So it's kind of like a speaker, you know

[01:53:28] You know like that

[01:53:29] So maybe he's almost more kind of like more of a prime minister than a president

[01:53:34] Uh, kind of exactly. Yeah, um, okay

[01:53:36] But he's elected by the representatives of the senate

[01:53:39] He could serve two four-year terms before having to retire

[01:53:43] But they their main function is just to figure out fucking trade routes. Here's an interesting thing

[01:53:48] Yeah, all of the chancellors elected between

[01:53:51] 1400 bby and a thousand bby again attack the clones takes place in like 30 bby

[01:53:56] Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, all the chancellors elected in that period in this 400 year period were jedi

[01:54:03] Oh, shit, but then that was broken by some other guy. This is all a thousand years before the movie doesn't matter

[01:54:09] They were jedi

[01:54:11] Yeah, so they used to be jedis right they trained jedis to be keepers of the peace

[01:54:16] Yeah, they would be good at that anyway

[01:54:18] Apparently the supreme chancellor is not an important position until palpatine takes it over before then it is kind of like

[01:54:23] A functionary trying to corral all these people palpatine's the one who kind of turns it into a dictatorship

[01:54:29] Yeah

[01:54:30] Just feel like a fucking give up

[01:54:32] Uh, I have a surprise we're gonna get back to talking about politics in 45 minutes, but I have a I have surprised you have a surprise

[01:54:38] Yeah, what wait?

[01:54:40] I actually am unprepared for whatever. Yeah, I was debating whether or not to do this

[01:54:43] But I think we've had a point. We gotta do it. What talk about what a difficult kid

[01:54:47] I was. Oh wait. Do you have like a picture? No, I you know been

[01:54:51] Packed going through my oh right. This is I forgot. That's a treasure trove. Yeah, and I found something

[01:54:56] Oh

[01:54:57] Back in blackface or no, can you minstrel show me? I don't think you said that before

[01:55:04] Can you minstrel show me how to get to racism street by griffin newman? This is

[01:55:10] The essay I mean for people who might not know this is the essay you wrote. Well, what year do you know a year?

[01:55:15] This probably would have been 2004. Okay, so and it's about

[01:55:19] Uh, hollywood's history of minstrelry minstrelry

[01:55:23] Yes, it was me trying to solve the racial ills of you were trying to solve it. What class did you write this for?

[01:55:30] History American history. I think it was American history and like what was the assignment?

[01:55:35] Write a basal write about something griffin went to like a hippie school

[01:55:38] Yeah, I just know I just remember that the fact that I chose this topic was like very odd and surprising and off-pace

[01:55:44] It was they did not expect you to do that. No because I don't think I mean you got a good

[01:55:49] Yeah, griffin have very much enjoyed reading this paper. I know you made a

[01:55:55] Fine impassioned. Oh struggling here. Sorry

[01:56:00] Uh case against the strife of some

[01:56:03] Black entertainment he writes black entertainment quotes in quotes as if it's a man and your use of aimis and andy is very effective

[01:56:10] I did a lot of research

[01:56:10] I watched you do a good job of describing the origins of minstrel shows and what they represented

[01:56:15] What you needed to develop more

[01:56:17] Was the time between minstrelry and the time of aimis and andy uninteresting to me

[01:56:22] uh, what did the

[01:56:24] What did the four white men do? I don't know what that means. I think they were a group

[01:56:28] What sort of shows became popular how did minstrel shows become so acceptable that between

[01:56:33] That you could end up with aimis and andy

[01:56:36] And you pass over the jazz singer birth of a nation too quickly griffin

[01:56:40] Those are seminal moments in film

[01:56:42] Both for how they looked messages portrayed and how obviously

[01:56:47] They sounded uh and obviously how they sounded that's what he's saying

[01:56:52] Obviously how they sounded you can establish a timeline rope

[01:56:56] Uh, but he did enjoy the views. He don't get a grade this is st. Anthe don't give you grades

[01:57:00] Oh my god, what the fuck he went to the he went to the same school my girlfriend went to

[01:57:06] They did they were at like an asset. Let me see if I can find the section on beauty shop

[01:57:09] So like when beauty shops a crazy great movie. I hate it. I know so good

[01:57:13] Uh

[01:57:15] This is the kind of school though where they like hug you

[01:57:18] It's it's to get a grade or something down and went there. It's like a hippie brooklyn rich kid private school

[01:57:23] Right like essays instead. It's that's it was like Jesus Christ

[01:57:26] It was founded with the purpose of like being a nice alternative school for like, you know

[01:57:31] Kids who maybe think differently or whatever but then like it's a private school in brooklyn

[01:57:34] I think just a lot of rich people sent their kids there

[01:57:37] Okay, so you want to hear some already some really misguided

[01:57:40] Disgusting things I said. I just want to read some excerpts

[01:57:46] Jesus Christ everyone's gonna stop listening to this show everyone's already stopped for how many years how many minutes we've been recording how many years

[01:57:53] 40 okay for a show that's not allowed to be replayed on television the quote unquote racist

[01:58:00] characters of amos and andy

[01:58:02] So i'm calling it a question whether or not they're racist, which is not my place to do true use better grammar

[01:58:09] But the characters and films like soul plane

[01:58:12] Are smarter. This is terrible territory that you're you should really be clear about this. Yeah

[01:58:18] Griffin you are telling people how to talk essentially yeah smarter

[01:58:23] Then characters and films like guess who so you just want to be like

[01:58:27] Contrarian about like hey man amos and andy that was well written entertainment compared to this nonsense

[01:58:33] Yeah, I think that was my big point was I thought like as a comedy writer amos and andy had good jokes

[01:58:39] I'm taking this away. No, I because I got to read this one other sense

[01:58:41] I know i'm taking myself into a pick smarter than characters and films like guess who and will accomplish more

[01:58:47] Than characters and films like my baby's daddy

[01:58:49] So I was like looking at a film like my baby's dad

[01:58:52] Which if you don't remember it was like the urban remake of three men and a baby

[01:58:56] Or wasn't it was three men who have

[01:58:59] I'm looking at children out of wedlock and then I have to deal with being single fathers

[01:59:03] Was anthony anderson eddie griffin and michael imperiali

[01:59:07] Were the three men and I was passing judgment on what those characters would go on to accomplish in their lives after the film, right?

[01:59:15] Above all though amos and andy was a well-written humorous show

[01:59:19] What the fuck are you talking about? I have no idea. I don't understand how did I get a good

[01:59:23] I'm taking away from you. Well, this is the whole this is the horrible privilege that you are invested with

[01:59:30] You could write this nonsense no one would slap you down

[01:59:33] We can ask how we live in a society where children are getting abortions at age 13 and then nominated

[01:59:38] These songs for nicolading kid choice awards a show whose winners are chosen by the children of the world

[01:59:42] But the nominees are selected by commandees of the children of the world

[01:59:45] David by the way, you went to school in england. I went to school in england

[01:59:48] Yeah, I went to school in north jersey like crazy. No it was like

[01:59:52] My my grade was basically just they would just stamp like you're not gonna go anywhere in life

[01:59:58] That was like the grade in the notes. I got it was just a great

[02:00:02] It was a letter grade or a grade out of 10. It was pretty simple

[02:00:05] you know

[02:00:06] They gave me a grade

[02:00:08] They graded my work like if you did okay, you wouldn't get punched in the arm. No, you know

[02:00:13] Just be like good job

[02:00:15] Eight out of ten that sounds nice whatever normal

[02:00:18] Here's the exact sense I was looking for and then I'm gonna throw this away because I can't fucking I need to look at it

[02:00:22] But you are not allowed to I'm gonna be murdered the second after I read this

[02:00:25] in ho on page six. Yeah

[02:00:30] Go ahead I also write unintelligent overly sassy sluttish women on page four. Um, uh,

[02:00:36] autumn

[02:00:37] Here's here's the sentence ready ready for me to be murdered

[02:00:40] Please just guys just watch the door because someone's gonna walk in and stab me go ahead

[02:00:44] Fucking Joe this is our fan fiction episode where I'm actually just like oh my god. Yeah, this is the sense

[02:00:49] This is the sentence. It's so clean the spin-off beauty shop. However is far more racist than aimless and anti ever was

[02:00:58] Now let's talk about beauty shop for a second, which I think is a tremendous

[02:01:01] I hadn't seen since then but clearly it made me very angry at the time

[02:01:04] Um beauty shop is once again

[02:01:06] Not my place to fucking no no you don't know what you're talking about decree

[02:01:09] No, I had no idea what I thought I was gonna fucking solve it

[02:01:11] I think you're you're kind of like a Richard Cohen in the Washington Post just to to bring it to mention like an old white op-ed writer who's sort of like

[02:01:19] Doesn't understand

[02:01:20] What he's seeing in culture these days and it's like these movies seem to denigrate people

[02:01:25] They seem to women seem to not have it and like I don't understand this is terrible

[02:01:28] Like not understanding like culture reflects all kinds of things that are going on in society rather than lecturing or you know,

[02:01:37] Uh, whatever, you know like

[02:01:39] And also you're not allowed to tell people how to talk agreed 100%

[02:01:43] Agreed if I've learned anything in the last

[02:01:47] 12 years of my life

[02:01:48] It's like what should you be talking about fucking attack the club?

[02:01:52] That's a thing you can be an authority on. Uh, anyway, I love beauty shop. Uh, I saw it in theaters

[02:01:57] I reviewed it for my college newspaper and I said I think I said it was fine

[02:02:00] I don't I don't know if I gave it a rate but you didn't read an aph paper

[02:02:03] But I was worse than I think I gave it like three out of five and said like it's a good time

[02:02:07] It's a little silly. I regret literally everything right now. I regret

[02:02:12] Writing this paper you regret your father's sperm entering your mother's

[02:02:17] Ova, I I regret forming a zygote. Yeah. Yeah, yeah every yeah, Ben's will give me a weird look

[02:02:23] I regret everything I didn't have sex education at my school. So

[02:02:27] Why was your school? Did you just go to school like some alley?

[02:02:30] Are they like threw bricks at you?

[02:02:32] So it was uh lessons written on the bricks

[02:02:34] It was like kind of like, you know, there's like a highway and then you go down the embankment

[02:02:40] Yeah, and it was like kind of a ditch. Uh-huh. Yeah

[02:02:45] Um

[02:02:48] Anyway beauty shop spin off of barbershop too

[02:02:50] Which I love the two barbershop movies

[02:02:52] Which had it had kind of barbershop too had this sort of backdoor appearance by queen latifa with the idea that she would

[02:02:57] Go make her own movie right? She's not really a big

[02:02:59] No, they suppose she's an x of ice cubes character. Yeah, and she's she you know, she does hair like and then in beauty shop

[02:03:06] She has moved to I believe it's atlanta and she talks about like oh miss chicago

[02:03:11] But you know great to be here in atlanta and it's mostly about like she gets this whole busted beauty shop and fixes it up

[02:03:18] With the help of alfrey woodard. Can I award nominee as a yep as another

[02:03:24] Beauty shop employee and some other stylists

[02:03:26] She's got a daughter. I think she has like a kid. I think it's a daughter a cute kid

[02:03:32] She used to work for an austrian

[02:03:35] Mean hairdresser man played by kevin bacon who she has abandoned called like george or something

[02:03:41] I forget what his name like horre I don't know what it's it's very weird

[02:03:44] It's like he's just like an evil white european like he has this sort of amorphous accent

[02:03:49] And jaiman honsu plays cad me word nominee two time

[02:03:53] Plays a very handsome

[02:03:56] african, I think he's nigerian

[02:03:58] Immigrant who's an electrician and like fixes up the place with her and then they fall in love. Yeah, it's great

[02:04:04] Uh, it's great

[02:04:06] Everyone was freaking out about andy mcdowell in magic mic xxl

[02:04:09] Her little appearance playing this kind of like older southern lady who's sort of does the same thing

[02:04:13] She does the exact same thing in beauty shop, which was nine years previous

[02:04:17] Alicia silverstone is also in it as like a sort of a dumb white lady who says things like for your fyi

[02:04:22] Yeah, that's probably what I was offended by as a dumb white lady myself

[02:04:26] Um ben you I think it's a fun movie. It's very formless, which I kind of like

[02:04:30] It's really just about someone starting a business and then like she successfully starts the business

[02:04:36] Uh ben you smoke. Do you have a lighter on your person?

[02:04:39] Yeah, when we're done with this episode, I'd like to go outside and burn this paper. No, it's great

[02:04:43] You can't burn it. I I'm god don't do it. Don't do it. Look it's part of your history

[02:04:48] Yeah shameful as it is this was like my menstrual show

[02:04:52] All right, just that was like the dark part of my history

[02:04:55] The worst level of race relations or I felt like I had the authority to write a paper on menstrual shows

[02:05:00] Um, it's crazy that you read the how old were you?

[02:05:03] It's 15. Yeah, it's nuts

[02:05:06] Is nuts

[02:05:07] Is nuts is nuts. Anyway, so here's my question

[02:05:10] Everyone says very confusing about are they the un are they nato? What are they?

[02:05:15] It's not fair

[02:05:16] Welcome welcome welcome one and all to

[02:05:20] Griffin and david present attack of the podcast. Hi griffin. Hi david. How are you doing? I'm doing all right. How are you?

[02:05:26] Well, I was on vacation last week and I screwed up our recording schedule

[02:05:29] And we missed a week and I feel bad about it

[02:05:32] It actually it worked out great because I needed that extra day to do more community service to offset the negative

[02:05:39] Energy I put into the world with our last episode

[02:05:41] Uh, our last episode donating all my time and money

[02:05:45] Our last episode was really embarrassing, but it was actually really fun to listen back to

[02:05:50] JD

[02:05:51] We are guests. Our guests will introduce them later multi hyphenate jd and motto. We have an introduction. We have an introduction

[02:05:57] But explain to JD

[02:06:01] You know

[02:06:02] In the in the janks how it doesn't make you have you seen the janks? I've seen the janks. Yeah

[02:06:06] So you know how it makes no sense that he stole that sandwich and you're like this guy's on the run everyone's looking for him

[02:06:12] Yeah, he has 35 000 dollars in a bag or whatever in his car. He doesn't need it

[02:06:17] Why did he steal this sandwich and it's like some part of him was like it was a cry for help

[02:06:21] Like he wanted to be caught right I don't want to talk about this fucking movie anymore

[02:06:26] I am so tired of this fucking movie and I sent the last two weeks analyzing why in our last episode

[02:06:31] I read large sections too many sections ben had to cut some out of a history paper

[02:06:37] I wrote in 10th grade called back in blackface or can you minstrel show me how to get to racism street?

[02:06:44] Which was me trying to tackle the entire issue of representation of african-americans in the media

[02:06:50] Uh

[02:06:51] In in only the most inappropriate way possible and in only the way that a young white male could yep

[02:06:57] Um the weirdest thing is that kristian is still talking about this when he really should let it just explain to jd

[02:07:03] But okay, I I don't want to talk at this point anymore. I was trying to you know, we're happy to have you here

[02:07:08] We're happy to talk about it for once I will say I mean this will tie into everything we're talking about today

[02:07:13] I I do find myself relating to

[02:07:16] Georgie porgy lukas more in the wake of that paper

[02:07:20] Oh, I see

[02:07:21] Because it's the same thing where I thought I was really doing good and taking a good stand

[02:07:25] And this week we're talking about

[02:07:28] Attack the clones the second fan of menace movie from a filmmaking standpoint. Sure jd motto who we haven't introduced yet

[02:07:34] No, we haven't introduced him. It'd be like

[02:07:36] 20 minutes from 20 minutes from now sure is among many things

[02:07:40] One of the finest young filmmakers of his generation. Thank you. Well, I I know I have not been introduced yet

[02:07:45] But I will say this is not this is not my thank you to you guys

[02:07:48] I'll do that once you introduce me, but thank you for having me on the podcast

[02:07:51] Yeah, I'm excited to talk about this movie. Of course

[02:07:54] One of the strangest sequels in film history. No question

[02:07:57] No question

[02:07:58] You get you get a shot you make a first movie it does really well, but everyone hates it

[02:08:02] Yeah, and somehow you pull it out of the hat you get a second one right and this is what he does with it

[02:08:07] But this is the point I we there's a lot of criticism out there of this movie

[02:08:10] Oh a lot

[02:08:11] A lot of criticism in some way even more than then with the phantom

[02:08:15] Menace the original phantom. I think phantom menace got more criticism for its characters or specific wrong

[02:08:21] Such as jar jar or whatever whereas this right called the back of black is as a film

[02:08:26] Yes, I agree with that. No one really liked it as a piece of cinema. Yeah at all, but we watched uh

[02:08:31] Inheritance for this week

[02:08:34] Collectively watched a bunch of different documentaries and like feature ads behind the scenes

[02:08:37] We probably should have watched to begin with honestly because it really colored in a lot of the things

[02:08:41] We've sort of been speculating on for weeks now. Well, here's a quick side rant

[02:08:45] Uh, go ahead about the blue ray. This is infuriating. I don't know. Yeah, I don't even know what to say

[02:08:51] I used to have this on dvd this movie and then dvd it was like play movie commentaries

[02:08:56] extras and the extra

[02:08:59] Feature ads with clear trailers and your interviews. So wait, what's the blue ray that you guys have?

[02:09:05] It's this it's the the complete saga on blue ray

[02:09:07] So it's the two stars movies one and two and then it's got like seven

[02:09:11] It's got other discs so many discs

[02:09:13] So you don't look into any of those discs. No, no, no, there's the one the one disc

[02:09:17] I looked at that had the special features for attack of the clone. Yeah, that's the only thing relevant right now

[02:09:21] But it's like literally two movies seven discs of special features and on the disc

[02:09:25] Yeah, it's all these and there's all these like paintings of like later

[02:09:28] You know these expanded universe characters fucking like trading card characters that none of us give a shit about

[02:09:33] And but so the on the blue ray that George credit a lot of fake characters just for merchandise

[02:09:38] Don't appear in either of the movies. It's very strange Han Solo all these dumb fucking

[02:09:44] anyway

[02:09:45] JD yes, you had never seen the movie before I have never seen this movie before you watched it today

[02:09:51] You had seen phantom menace once as a child. I had seen phantom menace once. I think I think I saw phantom menace a couple times

[02:09:57] Oh sure. Sure. Um really

[02:10:01] It didn't do it for me. You were bummed out by it. I was bummed out by it

[02:10:04] I at the time thought it was the best one yet and my best one yet

[02:10:07] I mean of course the best movie ever made right

[02:10:09] Yeah, and I don't know why what they were based on but I had I felt like I went into it having expectations

[02:10:15] That this was going to be a great movie right and it did not fulfill the expectations that I had set up

[02:10:20] Yeah, um, you know afro pro vnothing. Uh-huh

[02:10:25] But because of that I was

[02:10:28] Too saddened to watch

[02:10:30] This next one. Mm-hmm to the point that uh, I wanted to live instead in a world where I hadn't seen it

[02:10:37] Because so you're saying we have shattered your world. We shattered making you appear on this podcast like 15 years

[02:10:42] Yeah, you had a while

[02:10:44] I wanted to live in a world where I hadn't seen it because that way it could have been good that I could you know

[02:10:49] I wanted it to be the a mystery box that I could always go. I haven't seen it. So it could actually be good

[02:10:55] Right, shorting your cat sort of thing. Exactly. Um, it yeah exactly until observed. I had no idea

[02:11:02] If if it would ignite a nuclear explosion that would destroy me or

[02:11:06] Keep us all safe. I have a similar thing. I'm like a pop culture complete us

[02:11:10] We're like even if I dislike something if I like a part of it. I want to have the full breath of knowledge

[02:11:14] Yeah, but robocop which is one of my five favorite movies of all time. I have

[02:11:17] Purposely avoided everything else related to me knew I've never seen the sequels. I didn't see the remake even though the I saw the remake

[02:11:23] Which is stupid on my part some people were like, hey the remake's not bad

[02:11:26] But I yeah, I mean I just had no interest but robocop one has such a beautiful ending

[02:11:31] It's the most perfectly there's no reason to make a sequel right that I just don't want to see the second movie

[02:11:34] Where at the start he's got the helmet back on again

[02:11:36] He's talking like robocop and he's lost like his humanity and he has to be the same

[02:11:40] And would have but you did watch every episode of the tv show and wrote and directed every single episode and played every part

[02:11:44] Right. I didn't watch them. I did write direct and play right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I actually I think I've seen a couple episodes

[02:11:49] But I don't like to watch my work. No

[02:11:52] Okay, so now your role to shattered and you now live in a world where this exists

[02:11:55] We're about seven minutes before we introduce by the way. I'm keeping an eye on the clock copy that the box is open

[02:12:01] So you've seen the tackle coins

[02:12:03] I've seen it you had 15 years to theorize what a sequel to the phantom menace would entail

[02:12:08] And we have been trying to ask like is this a good sequel to the phantom

[02:12:12] What's been one of our core questions? Is it a good movie?

[02:12:14] That's not even a question. Is it a sequel?

[02:12:17] I

[02:12:18] Just watched it. Yeah, and I don't understand what happened in it. It makes no sense

[02:12:22] Oh that happens during the movie. That's a problem. I don't understand what's happening

[02:12:27] When we eat and we still don't understand what's happening in half the movie

[02:12:30] But not in a way. Well, here's the thing is that there's films where I don't know what's happening where it feels like

[02:12:37] You're you're not supposed to let me let me let me back up to this and say this

[02:12:41] That this film is an achievement in several ways. This is an impressive film. Okay. Okay

[02:12:48] Special effects wise where they're at they did some things that were extremely ambitious

[02:12:54] and for

[02:12:55] What they had at their fingertips what they created is an amazing feat of filmmaking

[02:13:01] but

[02:13:02] To me and that is not to say this is an objective truth

[02:13:05] It didn't it didn't satisfy what I wanted from it

[02:13:09] And what I will say is that

[02:13:11] I didn't quite understand what was going on not because things were purposely being kept from me in a way that

[02:13:18] Was uh made me imagine or and then get frustrated by it

[02:13:22] It was I was so inundated with information

[02:13:26] About what was going on that I couldn't keep track of it

[02:13:30] and it became just this complete sort of like a mess of

[02:13:35] trade federation

[02:13:37] Understandings and who's this person? Why is this happening? And I think it also didn't help because a lot of the technological

[02:13:45] A lot of the things that

[02:13:47] Made the film so hard to create technologically

[02:13:49] Also made the film hard for the performers in it

[02:13:53] And I think as a viewer you rely on the performers to let you know how you should be feeling

[02:13:58] And when the performers don't know how they should be feeling then as an audience

[02:14:01] You don't know how you should be feeling and then you've lost all guideposts for what's going on

[02:14:05] So when a piece of information is said

[02:14:09] And no one really reacts to it

[02:14:12] Nor do I and then it doesn't register as important. Yes. Yes. I think that's an incredible point

[02:14:17] You're making a case for it is like an aggressively surreal film though. You're making a case for it is a film that like abandons any

[02:14:23] Uh, like pretend, you know any like of the

[02:14:26] Established ways of having an audience enjoy a movie audience empathy is like, yeah, right, right? Yeah, and I don't you're very right

[02:14:32] Yes, like important things are said and characters that react with blank faces

[02:14:36] Well, I think all the time speaks to I think all these actors are trying to make declarations of love things like that

[02:14:42] I think all these actors are trying to make deliberate

[02:14:45] Specific acting choices at every moment. I don't think anyone's asleep at the wheel

[02:14:49] I think they're just genuinely so confused about what's going on around them and what they're supposed to be playing

[02:14:55] That the confusion reads more than their acting choices. This is the weirdest scene. Yeah

[02:15:00] Well, this is the test school. I've been sort of cycling around and it's the it's the testicle creatures

[02:15:04] Exactly

[02:15:04] There's a fucking thing on the blu-ray where the guy talks about designing the testicle creatures

[02:15:08] And how he had the design and then he couldn't figure out the anatomy of how the musculoskeletal would work

[02:15:11] And he worked on it for months. Why would he do that? Because why didn't George Lucas say, you know what?

[02:15:16] These actually look really weird

[02:15:17] Let's do something else because he thousands of people working on the movie and he wanted your drops just to design that testicle

[02:15:23] So yeah, but we should talk about it and JD is right like this movie

[02:15:27] Is doing a lot of things that movies hadn't done before it was a filmmaking revolution a lot of ways

[02:15:31] It was and they're trying to do something that

[02:15:34] to this day

[02:15:35] Would be difficult to achieve if they try to make a film this ambitious from a

[02:15:40] CGI standpoint

[02:15:42] Right, it would be difficult and they were do that the inception of this film was

[02:15:47] Probably 20 years ago now

[02:15:49] Was when they started planning to make this film

[02:15:52] in the amount that technology has changed

[02:15:55] in computer graphics and 3d rendering and stuff like that

[02:15:59] Has been leaps and bounds over the past five years let alone let alone where it was 20 years ago when they started sort of

[02:16:06] Coming up with the plan for how they're going to do this

[02:16:08] So the fact that they achieve some things they achieved is really impressive

[02:16:12] But that's it does not stand the test of time

[02:16:15] And also I don't think stood the test of time at the at the moment because they were they were doing things

[02:16:21] They wanted to do things that they did not have the technology to achieve yet

[02:16:24] And they did the best they could possibly do under the circumstances

[02:16:27] And it was really impressive because these were the best of the best of the best working on it

[02:16:31] But they just did not have the tools they needed to achieve the things that they were trying to do

[02:16:35] So I'm I'm gonna dial this back a little bit sure to

[02:16:38] I'll say this first is that

[02:16:40] As someone who

[02:16:42] Tries to make stuff professionally. I try I try not to criticize other people's things too much. Yes

[02:16:48] um just because

[02:16:51] Griffin also uh should do that, but doesn't I should I ever someone who wants to work in Hollywood and like

[02:16:56] You know form connections with uh, you know people who make movies

[02:16:59] He is doing an abominable job of networking my agents told me not to do this

[02:17:03] Badmouth people every week and I'm just not gonna get hired ever again

[02:17:06] And so one of the things that I try not to do is I I try not to endow characteristics onto

[02:17:12] Directors or creators. Sure

[02:17:14] When I criticize or look at the things that they create you just look at the product

[02:17:18] Well, look at the product

[02:17:19] I think I think as if if you're gonna criticize them something you have to look

[02:17:24] How do r2 and c3 p0 end up anyway? It doesn't matter carry. You have to look at something as

[02:17:28] Basically a primary source, right? This was created and my first instinct is always you have to say this is how the person intended to make it

[02:17:35] That has that should be your first instinct. I agree. Yes. This is how they intended to seem weird to you

[02:17:39] Well, don't try to guess it. Why that's what they intended. Exactly. That's what they intended

[02:17:44] Don't like one of my least favorite things in criticism is when someone goes

[02:17:49] um

[02:17:50] This director is an idiot. They didn't even think about her dude. Da da da da

[02:17:52] Because it's it's instead of looking at the film as a primary source

[02:17:56] It's then it's crafting your own narrative for the director is doing which then gets you down the road of you're just

[02:18:01] Self-justifying for whatever things you've seen that which mind you there are tons of terrible movies made by very intelligent people

[02:18:07] With the best intentions and a bunch of incredible movies that were mistakes for people ended up doing things wrong

[02:18:13] And the final product right they figured it out in a way that that it can only work when divorced from what their intentions

[02:18:19] Exactly

[02:18:19] And so then I think the second part of things if I look at something it feels really off

[02:18:23] I really don't like it and um, I have trouble believing that this was the intention of the creator

[02:18:29] Then the next step is I look at the process

[02:18:31] Yes, and try to see what happened in the process and the actual story of making this that could have led to this version of things

[02:18:38] So in looking at this film, I think there's a lot to speak of because also let's keep in mind

[02:18:43] um

[02:18:44] George Lucas um

[02:18:46] What what are what are the what are the what are the things that you guys know george lucas from?

[02:18:50] He made he made american graffiti. He made thx 11 38. It took a long break. He might be one or two other movies in the 70s

[02:18:56] He produced Raiders of the Lost Ark and produced like legend and great. Is it legend or willow?

[02:19:02] I was

[02:19:05] Life is really Scott and it's amazing and I could do a whole podcast about legend

[02:19:08] Oh, that's interesting because I sometimes I sometimes see people go crazy for willow

[02:19:11] I sometimes I love willow crazy for you know legend

[02:19:14] I was just reading about tom cruise and like how that was his like escape from top gun and from yeah

[02:19:19] Because that movie took a long time to make and he was like in the middle of nowhere

[02:19:22] Yeah, and he just like recluded himself and that was before top gun though. Well, I think it was no wait

[02:19:27] Was it? All right. I'm gonna look at it. I believe maybe it was after risky business

[02:19:30] I think it was right after risky. Yes. No not right now legend legend. He was I think 21 years old

[02:19:35] It's crazy. It's right after risk. Me and sarah was 16

[02:19:37] um

[02:19:38] What's my my curry is incredible love legend and the original film they made they set to make out legend is an

[02:19:43] Incredible film and what the studio did to it made it into a not a good film

[02:19:46] We can get into all that stuff the soundtrack. Oh my god, you can also listen to our day

[02:19:50] There's a lot of you explaining. Yes, you got to come back and do legend sometimes

[02:19:54] You know, we're gonna do a we these that's the kind of movies we're interested in

[02:19:57] We're like a lot of creative capital is being put on the line

[02:19:59] Yeah, you know when someone has sort of like free reign to make something

[02:20:03] I mean that's because that's what these movies are these are self financed

[02:20:06] You should do a podcast called we are a legend. Are we talking about legend?

[02:20:09] That's a really good title

[02:20:10] But then can we also talk about iam legend because I think that movie's brilliant too

[02:20:13] Yeah, I think that's an interesting has a horrible ending wait what

[02:20:16] The the Francis Lawrence movie iam legend first year iam what look iam legend

[02:20:20] What is that you don't know that one?

[02:20:22] What is

[02:20:25] iam legend yeah, I've never heard of this wait really yeah with will smith

[02:20:29] Will smith

[02:20:32] JD's kind of

[02:20:33] Sort of like we don't do bits on that's the thing. We don't do bits on it

[02:20:37] This show is straight wrong from the heart. No, I'm sorry guys

[02:20:40] I probably just as doing a bit where I acted like I didn't know a movie existed

[02:20:44] You know we wouldn't do that. Yeah, I wouldn't get that. Yeah, sorry. We try to work with our full intelligence our full

[02:20:50] Reference space. Yeah with the Shrek monologue and iam legend. Yeah, when he just recites the scene from sure. Yeah, it's crazy

[02:20:55] Yeah, okay JD. That's funny, but please don't do that anymore in our show. Yeah, it's all right

[02:20:58] We don't do this kind of bit. Yeah, sorry. I won't do a bit

[02:21:01] I want to do a bit where I act like and you know what I really hate is those kind of like meta bits where you're like

[02:21:05] Doing a bit about another bit. That's an soft frivol

[02:21:08] That's like that's that's why people hate modern comedy. Yeah, and the bits about bits about bits

[02:21:14] It's just like the fucking levels and the worst thing is when white guys have some fucking podcast where they just like

[02:21:19] Talk about movies all day. You know what I'll say? I hate it when like white 15 year olds think they can fix the racism of the world in a

[02:21:25] In a history paper

[02:21:27] That's like my least favorite thing in the world. Those people should actively be put those people should be put

[02:21:31] Like the government should like send out agents hunting for them

[02:21:34] Well, they should have been put to death at 15, but they're still alive right now

[02:21:36] Maybe let them go. No, no, I think I think a I can you can you can't forget

[02:21:40] Maybe they're either way fun fun fact whenever Griffin goes to the bathroom. He just mutters to himself that he solved racism

[02:21:49] I don't believe what i'm hearing

[02:21:51] But we have we have a special guest continuing our streak. I realize something every guest we've had on this season is someone who was

[02:21:57] Who played trivia with us?

[02:21:59] Is that true because we have morgan we have rachel i'm forgetting someone jd. Yeah. Yeah

[02:22:05] Uh and now chase michael chase michael chase michael who's a writer for the tonight show with jimmy fowlin

[02:22:11] That's right. Yeah, he's a much more qualified person than either of us

[02:22:15] He's got a kick. He's in our shitty little booth

[02:22:19] There's no need to qualify what he does

[02:22:22] I sit in this booth all day david. Oh, i'm but yeah, of course, but but you're you know, you're at least salaried

[02:22:28] Anyway, hi chase. Hey, how's it going?

[02:22:31] Thanks for having me in this tiny room. Oh, thanks for being here chase now

[02:22:35] We have a lot to talk about with you. You're essentially closing this out

[02:22:39] This is our last like formal discussion about this movie

[02:22:42] So what's left? What are the scraps that are left for us to talk about fucking expanded universe, bro?

[02:22:47] Oh, man, because we've torn this movie apart

[02:22:51] We've ripped it in half. We've we've checked under the couch cushions. I never want to speak of this movie again

[02:22:56] I hate it so much. I was so to think I was so pumped for this movie when we started it because I was so sick of phantom menace

[02:23:03] The first really soured on this one the first four weeks of this podcast. I was defending this movie. You were you used to be way more positive about it

[02:23:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah, really tried and I don't even know what I think

[02:23:14] I for a long time likes the first 20 minutes. Sorry. I don't I don't even at this point right

[02:23:19] At this point. I don't want to look at the first

[02:23:21] Again, I don't want to smell the first one. Have you guys been watching it every week before you talk about it?

[02:23:28] Sometimes we just watch the parts that are relevant

[02:23:31] So we did like a romance episode we did like a romance cut or you just watch

[02:23:34] That's one of the great love stories of our time. I think yeah, that was that was what we were positing

[02:23:39] You know, I was gonna say it's not like you correct yourself

[02:23:41] I was gonna say it's one of the greatest love stories of our taint

[02:23:44] In addition to being one of the love stories of our time. It's one of the great love stories of our communal taint

[02:23:49] Yeah, it's it's it's really something I uh

[02:23:54] I don't know I

[02:23:56] It's rare to see such a compelling

[02:23:59] a romance based entirely on

[02:24:03] sand feeling rough

[02:24:05] and um

[02:24:07] Skin-feeling smooth. Yeah

[02:24:09] Rolling around in a meadow. Yep

[02:24:11] Um

[02:24:12] And other things that happened not that you basically covered their whole romance. That's that's 90

[02:24:18] Of it not kissing. There's a lot of and a confessed slaughter of many women and children

[02:24:25] That's what wasn't a deal was not a deal breaker. No, it's a deal maker. Yeah, it was kind of a turn on it

[02:24:30] She goes right for him after that. Yeah

[02:24:33] Um up until that point she was like we can't we have to

[02:24:37] Show discretion and then two scenes later. She's like I don't I don't fucking care. I love you

[02:24:42] Yes, she's like I'll take you in this moisture robot moisture bathroom that we're in right now

[02:24:46] Yeah, right in a reek

[02:24:49] What is that the reek is the giant the red

[02:24:52] Horned okay, the really uncompelling CGI creature that they oh in the like the final battle scene. Yes, right right with the yeah

[02:25:00] Yeah, you don't find the CGI compelling in these film. Oh man. It's just so not one frame of it stands up

[02:25:07] um

[02:25:09] Yeah, it's

[02:25:11] It looks worse than the fully cg

[02:25:15] Uh clone war series that they that they did later on like I don't know about that one. Have you heard of that one? No, I don't know

[02:25:22] What are you here's a

[02:25:25] That's that I thought we're talking about expanded universe. That's true. We are talking about the expanded universe

[02:25:29] Yeah, we're talking about expanded universe. We're talking about fan fiction. We're talking about deleted scenes

[02:25:35] The parameters of of of this podcast are very blurry

[02:25:40] I never actually saw what you're talking about like literally. I never actually saw it. Is it good?

[02:25:44] No, I mean

[02:25:46] It was like like to say like oh who wants to dive back in for you know

[02:25:51] 11 more hours of what we just saw was bad. Well, that's what people have been doing every week on this podcast

[02:25:57] Yeah, 11 more. I just described what you guys have been

[02:26:01] Who wants to dive back in our lives? You're describing our futile lives

[02:26:04] Um, I'm so glad that with tomorrow next week's episode. It's finally over the long nightmare

[02:26:08] And then we just we have to we'll find a new movie and a new franchise a one-off

[02:26:12] Because here's the thing chase as you know

[02:26:15] Uh, I'm sure right now you're racking your brain thinking of other movies you've seen and going

[02:26:18] Was that part of the fan a menace franchise like wondering if other things are sequels?

[02:26:22] Nope as far as we know there were two

[02:26:25] There were two movies. Okay

[02:26:27] No, no, but my point here is

[02:26:30] Look, I didn't know that there was a clone wars animated series

[02:26:32] But that makes sense to me because obviously the third movie would have been the clone wars

[02:26:36] Yeah, sure all logical storytelling

[02:26:38] Yeah, we've done that. We've just feel that way. Yeah, it should be the clone wars

[02:26:41] Yeah, so if he didn't get to make the movie I guess yeah, maybe does a little TV show

[02:26:44] So many ideas he does might as a TV show follows it up. We'll have to look into that

[02:26:48] Yeah, well jar jar he hasn't proposed he just functions as the absentee vote, right?

[02:26:52] I guess no

[02:26:53] I thought he was the actual like proponent of the bill like it's called like the binks

[02:27:01] But the binks crime bill but he doesn't like make a speech

[02:27:03] That's what's disappointing is that like palpatine just goes like jar jar, of course

[02:27:08] Really into this bill and charger just kind of like nods behind palpatine

[02:27:12] Right, like you want to see jar jar have his like mr. Smith goes to washington. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what would that sound like?

[02:27:23] I think jar jar kind of like slowly scoots up in his like flying senate pod

[02:27:27] Yeah, and he loosens the tie

[02:27:30] And he goes

[02:27:33] Misa not a fancy goon again

[02:27:39] Misa lives under water my whole life

[02:27:42] All me so no is

[02:27:45] It's a scary world out there much a doo-doo

[02:27:49] One can step in

[02:27:53] If you don't have a friend

[02:27:56] You send real big doo-doo

[02:27:59] What better friend is there than a clone and what good is one clone?

[02:28:09] Without an army behind him and the music swalls because I know what you said thank you

[02:28:21] I

[02:28:25] Checked like my work like email like while that was happening although the first line was really fun

[02:28:30] It almost sounded like a rap you should do a jar jar rap. He definitely should not do that

[02:28:37] I've already had too much hot water

[02:28:41] Uh ben's family, uh ben's indicating that I look over to screen i'm gonna like move my head slowly

[02:28:46] All right, so screen to see what he's talking about you guys are talking about the fan of menace right earlier on in the episode

[02:28:52] Yeah, and it brought back some some memories of that movie

[02:28:57] Never the guy with the two the double lightsaber

[02:29:00] Yeah, yeah, what happened to that guy

[02:29:03] We thought he was gonna come back as a clone in this movie. He really did

[02:29:06] So I just I was like searching on the internet. Mm-hmm dude

[02:29:11] There's a there's a third movie

[02:29:14] What a third what i'm looking at right now what? Revenge of the sith came out in 2005

[02:29:22] How how much do you think people can put up with us at this point that we're doing this again episode three

[02:29:27] Wait, wait, there is a third movie to revenge of the sith

[02:29:32] What how simple take a serious typo

[02:29:35] Oh, you think it should it should just it's just two. I mean it's Wikipedia

[02:29:38] I'm not wearing my glasses. I can't see how many of room on numerals there are

[02:29:41] I don't know i'm seeing three eyes. No chase. Have you heard of this movie episode three revenge of the sith?

[02:29:46] No, and I refuse to acknowledge it

[02:29:49] That's a wise move

[02:29:52] For you this film is expanded uniforms episode three click over there click on that one

[02:29:57] Yeah, no, no, that's the one on the wikipedia or sure the imdb who directed it 2005

[02:30:01] George lucas ready poor jr written and directed by george lucas

[02:30:05] Is it starring?

[02:30:06] Starring hayden christensen natalie portman and ewan McGregor. It's the same actors too again

[02:30:11] Okay, he fucking pulled it off. He did a full trilogy. Wow. He fully realized the ambition of this story

[02:30:17] I'm so that's that's so crazy three movies. What everyone aims to do three movies to cover one story. There's more jimmy smiths

[02:30:24] there's

[02:30:27] There's more simul jackson smith's fifth bill no, he's six bills. I can't believe it the star wars trilogy

[02:30:36] This is incredible

[02:30:39] Crazy bastard did it 10 years ago. I thought we were gonna have to move on to paula cast our podcast

[02:30:47] Our podcast about paula robin thick's follow-up out into bluer

[02:30:51] We are going to do that. Don't worry about a pound stone. It's

[02:30:55] We might have to do revenge of the podcast. Oh, we're gonna

[02:30:58] Oh

[02:31:01] How do you think this one's gonna be? Oh, I you know, I just am sure this is where he

[02:31:07] Figured it all out and he ties everything together and he's gonna pull all the clones are gonna make sense now and yeah

[02:31:13] Now they're gonna attack finally. Yeah

[02:31:16] On the poster there's like a guy with like a black helmet like a must be a new character. That's yeah

[02:31:22] I've never seen that before

[02:31:25] Okay, well as always please remember to rate review and subscribe

[02:31:29] Uh to close this out

[02:31:31] Here is a super cut of our favorite moments with dexter jettster

[02:31:38] Okay, so we get to this diner dexter jettster. It resembles the sort of fifties americana iconography that we know

[02:31:45] Then the next thing we see is the waitress

[02:31:47] Uh, uh, honey sit where you'd like when she says honey, which is a kind of like

[02:31:51] You know colloquialism that we haven't heard. That's true. That's true

[02:31:55] Everyone's talk so formally in these films like and like but it's so jarring. Yeah, okay

[02:32:00] So she's got the accent 20 40 40 minutes on this fucking diner seat before you get to the fucking clone

[02:32:06] This might just be a diner episode. Uh diner. It's a space movie and we're in a fifties diner

[02:32:11] Okay, I like she's a short order cook. What is going on dexter jettster perhaps created a fifties culture

[02:32:19] Yeah, right he established it

[02:32:21] Um

[02:32:22] That in fact what we identified as being the fifties culture was a throwback to what dexter had done

[02:32:27] A long time ago in a galaxy far far away and she goes dack sweetie someone here to see you

[02:32:32] He turns around we see him. He's got the greasy shirt big belly mustache wide smile

[02:32:37] We're like, okay here we go and then his voice comes out and I cannot

[02:32:41] I've now watched the movie maybe five times. I cannot place his accent. Who is the actor?

[02:32:46] I looked at my piece like an Australian character. He has done a lot. The voice is great

[02:32:49] I mean he's got an amazing like robust great. It's it's okay. I'm not saying it's well

[02:32:54] Once again save for the performance of here, but I'm just saying that he does have this booming powerful voice

[02:32:59] Like there's a lot of personality there ronald fault. That's his name. Oh boy ronald. Fuck. I'd fuck you so hard

[02:33:05] He's like oh this dart. You know it comes from a kimoni keep kamino. Okay, kamino

[02:33:11] Splitting splitting mustache hairs the whole planet does one thing all it does is clone and he describes it as being like

[02:33:18] Way off the way on the outer rim. Yeah, and like yeah really really really secret

[02:33:24] Oh, this is a big detail. He says he knows about it because he found it in his prospecting days

[02:33:30] He was a prospector. Okay. Oh dexter jester. He's gonna spin off for a tv show

[02:33:35] I was gonna say talk show. Well, I mean he'd give a he'd do a great talk show

[02:33:39] But I know I was gonna say why not do a fucking dexter jester sitcom in the traditional like alice

[02:33:45] God, let's just talk about dexter jester again for a whole episode

[02:33:48] Um, no no more mention of dexter jester

[02:33:52] Ever again. Okay, that's not sure we're gonna definitely or definitely talking about you kind of have a dexter jester mustache right now

[02:33:57] I because your mustache is quite thick. Yeah, and and sort of distractingly prominent as a result because it's thicker than the rest of

[02:34:05] Your uh, what dexter jester has that too where he's got stubble on the rest of the mustache

[02:34:10] He's kind of caterpillar artist. Yeah

[02:34:13] Oh man dexter jester. Oh we talked a lot about the 50s

[02:34:17] I heard it

[02:34:20] We're gonna do two more episodes just on the dumb

[02:34:24] Ron Falk is dexter jester. Oh, yeah. I mean yes, david. Yeah, uh ben. Well, yeah

[02:34:30] Yeah, I know this is a great performance. All right, we talked about him for 45 minutes

[02:34:36] We couldn't even forget his voice

[02:34:37] I mean he's the one guy who seems to be doing a like post melting pot galaxy in which every culture is mashed together

[02:34:44] He seems to have all it's the best. This is the best. Yes. This is the best

[02:34:48] But this is my point and then someone like dexter jester, you know, I love him

[02:34:51] I think looks like a playstation one cuts. He does. He does

[02:34:54] He looks not really dexter jester

[02:34:57] I like the design of him a lot, but the animation itself is just like

[02:35:02] It looks like a fucking playstation one game. Now. I don't know if you remember chase dexter is the owner of dine

[02:35:07] I don't know how could I forget?

[02:35:10] Dex is a great pal of mine and we get along splendidly when I visit his restaurant

[02:35:16] Of course, it's usually when the man

[02:35:17] I love quinlan voss has to go to dexter information on his ridiculous quest to find this mysterious guy called a sith lord

[02:35:25] But it's great to see dex and his diner nevertheless

[02:35:28] Perhaps what I like even more about dex's diner though. This is chapter three of it

[02:35:33] I skipped the first two because the first two aren't good. Oh, yeah, I'm sure so to sum up

[02:35:39] Dex has got great food and drink too and sometimes talk about the food likes to snitch

[02:35:47] It has a beautiful decor colored in the same color what this is boring

[02:35:52] Okay, shit fine. You want me to pump it up? Yeah, do you want me to pump it up?

[02:35:58] I'm so glad there's no dex like uh sex fiction though

[02:36:02] Look, I thought that's what we were building me too. I thought we were building that

[02:36:05] I'll read a different story because he doesn't forearms like yeah

[02:36:08] Yeah, I'll I'll go to a different story. He's got a lot of stories

[02:36:12] It works very late nights the diners have been 24 hours. I got different you guys think this is boring

[02:36:17] I was trying to fucking go high brown

[02:36:19] Oh