Count Dooku with Morgan Evans - Attack Of The Podcast

[00:00:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I got a great feeling about this.

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Boo!

[00:00:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey everybody, welcome to Griffin and David Present, Attack Of The Podcast.

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm Griffin.

[00:00:32] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm David.

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_02]: This is a podcast where we talk about Attack Of The Clones, which is the second Phantom

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Menace movie.

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_02]: The second and final Phantom Menace movie.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_06]: As far as our research shows.

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and it's a podcast where we're obsessed with and investigate passion projects where

[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_02]: people are giving complete creative freedom and how that turns out.

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I was just thinking about a good one, but now it's hard.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a carry on carry.

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_02]: This is our second mini series.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Which is for Attack Of The Podcast.

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_02]: And we have a very special guest with us today.

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_02]: He is a comedian slash filmmaker slash writer slash actor slash blah blah blah blah blah

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Ladies and gentlemen, Morgan Evans.

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Hello.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Hey Morgan.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_04]: How's it going?

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Good.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Is this podcast as long as the movie?

[00:01:16] [SPEAKER_04]: Longer.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_06]: How long is the two and twenty?

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_06]: Two and twenty.

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Did you watch it?

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I watched it last night.

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_04]: How was it?

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_04]: I'd seen it before.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_02]: But had you seen it since it came out?

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay.

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I've seen like I've watched all six a few times.

[00:01:32] [SPEAKER_06]: But I don't know what that means.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_06]: It's very confusing.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_06]: You've watched all two Star Wars movies.

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_06]: Oh yeah.

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_02]: You've watched all six movies that have ever been made.

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_02]: So is Attack Of The Clones Phantom Menace the Judge?

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_02]: And Star Jaws.

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Of course.

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and yeah, no I would say that it's not good.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I agree with you.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_06]: I mean we've spent, this is our fifth episode.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_06]: We're starting to come around to that opinion.

[00:01:55] [SPEAKER_06]: I think we led with this opinion much more cleanly than we did last time.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_06]: Last time we were like kind of, there was a lot of arms up to this time we really

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_06]: started like not good.

[00:02:05] [SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot of just like terrible comedy.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, well we're going to talk about that.

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Because we're going to talk about a second.

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_04]: It's mostly this act I think.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_02]: So this is, we're looking at this episode we're investigating the big third act set

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_02]: pieces on the planet Genosis.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Once they get to Genosis everything becomes a series of theme park rides.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah and we've talked, you know, we talked about the three major plots.

[00:02:24] [SPEAKER_06]: We talked about The Clones.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_06]: We talked about Obi-Wan, I mean Anakin's Anx and we talked about the romances and then

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_06]: they all get back together on Genosis.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_02]: For a bunch of scenes that don't really have to do with any of those plots.

[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_02]: A bunch of hijinks.

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, hijinks.

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_02]: The movie drops all its important plot threads and ideas for a bunch of crazy mix-em-ups.

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_02]: And this takes place right after Anakin slaughter his a bunch of children on Tatterin, right?

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, essentially the same day.

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_06]: Oh it's like two hours later.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_06]: Maybe he took a nap.

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_06]: Like he sleeps it off and then yeah.

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_02]: He meets the family he never knew he had.

[00:02:59] [SPEAKER_02]: They tell him that his mother is gone.

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_02]: He finds her in a cave.

[00:03:02] [SPEAKER_02]: She's been raped by aliens.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_02]: He murders the entire species.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Then he takes his robot with him, gets back on a ship and goes to a sand plain.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Wait, well not the entire species.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_06]: Well everyone he could see.

[00:03:15] [SPEAKER_06]: There are a few left over in the island.

[00:03:15] [SPEAKER_06]: That's our tribe.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_06]: Let's say that tribe.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_06]: Why does he take C-3PO?

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_06]: I forgot.

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_06]: Is there a reason that he takes C-3PO?

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_06]: No, just because.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_02]: It's the rule of Jar Jar.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Why do they take Jar Jar with them for kids?

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Set to leave them for kids?

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_02]: He's there for kids.

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_02]: It's literally...

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_02]: No, Morgan's right.

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_02]: It's for kids.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_06]: Does he say like, hey C-3PO come with me?

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_06]: I might need you to do a thing.

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_06]: Like does he have a re...

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_06]: No.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_04]: The most insane thing to me about that entire thing is that he murders all those children

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_04]: and then everyone looks at Anakin and they're like, he's still cool to work with us.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_04]: He'll be fine.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_06]: And Padme falls deeper in love with him.

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, she's like a little shocked but not enough to not be in love with him.

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't think it's coincidental that before she finds out that he's capable

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_02]: of killing an entire tribe.

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_02]: She's like, we really shouldn't do this.

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_02]: And afterwards she's like, I love you deeply and truly.

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_06]: And as you say it's all 24 hour period pretty much.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it's all like between...

[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_06]: I'm condensing my timeline every time we're here.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like we're up Cleo from 5 to 7.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's just like the whole day.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_06]: That's the first Cleo from 5 to 7 reference in this podcast but it won't be the last.

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Won't be the last.

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_02]: So yeah, okay.

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_02]: So they have their slaughter then they get this transmission from Obi-Wan.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, please retransmit this to the Jedi's at the Jedi temple at the Jedi council

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_02]: and to Jakosta news so she can put this in her fucking file.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_02]: He's like, I've tracked Django.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_02]: I followed him.

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Good job buddy.

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Remember two hours ago?

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I found him.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_02]: When I fought with him and then I was like, I'm after him and then you never saw me again.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I found him.

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_02]: He's on some planet called Geonosis.

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Which is sort of a desert-y kind of planet.

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_02]: It's kind of a Utah.

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Very different from the other desert planet we spent.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_04]: On the Senate floor it's the one that's just covered in sand.

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, right.

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, exactly.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_04]: And it's ruled by like bugs.

[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_06]: It's all bugs.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_06]: It's all bugs.

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Because every other planet we've been to so far has a real mix of species.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I suppose so.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_06]: Like you mean Tatooine has, it's got humans but it's a motley crew of aliens.

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, water, yeah.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like even there's dominant species.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_06]: You've got right.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_06]: It feels integrated.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_06]: Subterranean water people right.

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_02]: This is a very segregated planet.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_02]: It's bugs.

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the bug planet.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_02]: And then they have some beasts.

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, these are bigger bugs.

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Where did the beasts come from?

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_02]: They're pets though.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Like those aren't people with rights.

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Like the bugs are bug people.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, bugs are bug people.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_06]: They're in charge.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_06]: The bugs own the bugs.

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_06]: They kind of talk in this like click language.

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_06]: They just like click at each other.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, it's a bug's life.

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it is kind of cool.

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a bug's life.

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a bug's life.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_02]: This section of the film is a bug's life.

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_04]: It really messed with my perception in terms of how big they all were.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_04]: I was like are they normal sized bugs?

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_04]: And then you don't know Intel and Dell.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_04]: It takes a while.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_04]: And Dell Obi-Wan shows up and then you're like oh, I have scale now.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_04]: I can understand what's happening.

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, don't you remember that scene where the Genocian warrior is like swatting at something

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_02]: by his head and then the camera does like a quick zoom in and you see it's a little

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_02]: person flying around?

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_06]: That would be crazy.

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_06]: There's a little person going buzz, buzz, buzz.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_06]: The whole set piece was like everyone is tiny little specs.

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_06]: I mean I just saw Ant-Man last night.

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_02]: No, serious question.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_02]: How inspired do you think Ant-Man was by Attack of the Clones?

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Because Attack of the Clones was the first movie to really feature insects in a big way.

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_06]: It opens with, it's like there's a John Williams score and the word Star Wars sort of zoom.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_06]: That's awesome.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_06]: And then there's this big scroll that says Episode 2, Attack of the Clones.

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_06]: It's really, it's almost shot for shot.

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Really?

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Star Wars Episode 2 attack of the clones.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_02]: You saw this last night?

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_02]: You went to a screening or you watched it at home?

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_02]: So I went to a screening.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_02]: You went to a screening?

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_02]: And it started with Attack of the Clones.

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Is that a screening or more of just like the film playing?

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Can I ask you some-

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_06]: I may have wandered into the wrong room and threw a time-double.

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Can I ask you some more questions about Attack, about Ant-Man?

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, sure.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Was Anakin in a lot?

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_06]: Anakin's like the main character, I would say.

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_06]: He's played by Hayden Christensen.

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_06]: It's weird he's not on the posters.

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think you just watched Attack of the Clones again, David.

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_02]: I think you just watched Clones.

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, Genosis.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Genosis.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_06]: It's where all the separatists are chilling, right?

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_06]: It's like this is where they're plotting.

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_02]: This mysterious Count Dooku.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_02]: We've got Count Dooku.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Here's a new plot thread.

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_02]: He's apparently an ex Jedi.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, right.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_02]: By the way, that's a choice.

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_02]: We're allowed to do that?

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_04]: He studied under Yoda.

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_06]: Studied under Yoda.

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_06]: This is how much discussion of there is of Count Dooku before he shows up.

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_06]: There's like maybe a couple lines.

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like they call him the mysterious Count Dooku multiple lines.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh yeah.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_04]: He's just mysterious.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_04]: That's all we know about him.

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_06]: Right, and he is in the opening scroll.

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_04]: They say like he's broken off these planets.

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_06]: Mysterious Count Dooku.

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_04]: By the way, if you're selling a screenplay and you open it up and the first thing that happens is a title that takes up three pages of backstory that's not in the film.

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't think you could get it made unless you were George Lucas.

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_04]: That's a whole fucking podcast.

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_02]: It's things where people can do whatever the fuck they want.

[00:08:11] [SPEAKER_06]: We never talked, did he sell it?

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_06]: Is it the same as Phantom Manus where he like pre-sold the merchandise rights and that's how he funded it?

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_06]: Was it the same deal?

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I think this might have...

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Was Fox more involved this time.

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_02]: No no no, he definitely self-financed it.

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if there was as rich a toy deal in advance.

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Like Phantom Manus was specifically like for that movie.

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Might have been money left over.

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_02]: But it was self-financed.

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_02]: So Count Dooku, he's talked about in the crawl.

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_02]: There's the seamer, Jakarta knew finger blast him.

[00:08:39] [SPEAKER_02]: But other than that...

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Counts him finger blasting her.

[00:08:43] [SPEAKER_02]: No, she finger blasts him.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay fine.

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_02]: They cut that in the middle of the movie.

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah it was weird.

[00:08:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:08:50] [SPEAKER_02]: She just finger blasts his penis hole.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Are you talking about finger blast?

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Is that when the lightning comes?

[00:08:55] [SPEAKER_04]: Is that when you use the force and there's lightning?

[00:08:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Is that finger blast?

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah exactly.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh that's great.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_02]: She finger blasts into his penis hole.

[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_02]: She shoots lightning up his pee hole.

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Griffin please.

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Help us.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_02]: He's like please I'm here, I'm on genosis.

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_02]: And then you see he's caught in some sort of lightning cage.

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_02]: The lamest lightning.

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_06]: Is it a lightning or like torture?

[00:09:20] [SPEAKER_06]: It's like there's like sort of blue blur around his arms and he's kind of like...

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_06]: Oh he's floating.

[00:09:25] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he's floating and he's sort of slump forward.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_06]: It's the CGI carbonite.

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah I don't know what that's referencing either.

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_02]: You're using a lot of very strange terms.

[00:09:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Weird words.

[00:09:35] [SPEAKER_06]: Carbon I know.

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_06]: Are you saying this is like an environmental movie?

[00:09:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Like a pencil?

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Carbon footprints.

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Like a pencil?

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah exactly.

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_06]: You're saying he's caught in a pencil?

[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah sure.

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Yes.

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah whatever.

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_06]: Well yeah but this is the thing he doesn't even really seem stressed out Obi-Wan.

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_06]: He's kind of just like you know and Dooku like chats with him.

[00:09:52] [SPEAKER_02]: When Dooku is like...

[00:09:54] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the first appearance of...

[00:09:55] [SPEAKER_02]: The first time he's appeared on screen.

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_02]: And Dooku cannot even...

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_02]: By Chris Furley.

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_02]: The great Chris Furley.

[00:10:00] [SPEAKER_02]: The great late Chris Furley.

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_02]: The late great Chris Furley.

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Definitely his best role.

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah this is...

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_06]: I think it might be his best role of his latter day renaissance.

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_06]: Where he like just started popping up.

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_06]: So we're talking about Saruman.

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_06]: I don't...

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_06]: I think...

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_06]: I don't like Lord of the Rings.

[00:10:18] [SPEAKER_06]: I don't really love the Lord of the Rings movies.

[00:10:20] [SPEAKER_06]: He's pretty fun in them.

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I think he's really good as Dr. Wonka.

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_02]: In Charlie and the Trafficker.

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_06]: That is such a strange like digression in the film.

[00:10:29] [SPEAKER_06]: It's my favorite digression.

[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_06]: But he is pretty fun.

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_02]: That's the fifth movie ever made.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_02]: The remake of a movie that didn't exist.

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_06]: I just think it's just...

[00:10:38] [SPEAKER_06]: It's two hours and no one knowing what they're doing in this movie.

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_06]: And really looking like they're lost acting against green screens.

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_06]: And then he just walks in, he gets this dialogue that's just as bad.

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_06]: But he's like...

[00:10:49] [SPEAKER_06]: It's just putty in his hands.

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_06]: In his mouth.

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_02]: My big takeaway rewatching at this time was that...

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_02]: A lot of these set pieces we'll talk about very shortly...

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Are clearly like Hayden Christensen alone on a green screen stage.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_02]: And Lucas just being like,

[00:11:06] [SPEAKER_02]: No Hayden, so there's a droid arm and it's coming at you.

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, I don't know where to look like...

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_02]: It feels like they were so poorly directed that they don't...

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Like because if you're doing their...

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Especially nowadays, there are a lot of scenes where it's like...

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_02]: One actor alone on a green screen reacting to nothing.

[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_02]: But they give the actors sight lines.

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, things to play with.

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_02]: They put an actor in there.

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_02]: They put a ping pong ball on a stick.

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Or they build a robotic arm that's green so that they can replace it with a robotic arm

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_02]: that looks the way they want it to.

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Like whatever they do.

[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_02]: And this just seems like George going like,

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so now there are a lot of bullets flying at you.

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_02]: And it's like, from what direction?

[00:11:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the other thing.

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_06]: Jedi powers are so...

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_06]: They just kind of wave their lightsaber around

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_06]: and they deflect all the laser beams.

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_06]: It's all cartoon.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_02]: But it all just looks like they're jumping and dodging at random moments.

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_02]: There's no correlation.

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_06]: And then it's just being drawn in around them.

[00:11:54] [SPEAKER_02]: And he did the animation afterwards.

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_02]: But it's like he was like,

[00:11:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, what she's doing doesn't really sync up.

[00:11:58] [SPEAKER_02]: But I had already pre-vised.

[00:12:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Like he had in his head how he wanted to look.

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_02]: They acted a different way to a different timing

[00:12:06] [SPEAKER_02]: because he didn't give them good guidelines.

[00:12:08] [SPEAKER_02]: And then he just animated the way he wanted to.

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Because he hates people.

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Because he hates human beings.

[00:12:12] [SPEAKER_06]: Because he's a bug person.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_06]: He's a bug.

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_06]: The genocence that George Lucas talking about himself.

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_02]: But my takeaway was fucking Christopher Lee.

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Like at this point an 81 year old man.

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Very old.

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Is he that old?

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_02]: He's in his 70s.

[00:12:25] [SPEAKER_01]: He just died and he died in his 90s.

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_02]: All right, fair enough.

[00:12:28] [SPEAKER_02]: So this film was 13 years ago.

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_02]: All right, sure.

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_06]: So late 70s, early 80s, somewhere around there.

[00:12:32] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_02]: He was over 90 when he died.

[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_02]: So he's like, he's like,

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Grandpa age, right?

[00:12:39] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's like playing off this green screen

[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_02]: like a fucking box.

[00:12:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Like his reaction shots are unbelievable.

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_02]: And when he's up in that little like,

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_02]: his little balcony like viewing vagina box.

[00:12:50] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, yeah, watching the monster gladiator.

[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Like a Morton joke.

[00:12:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, like a Morton Joe.

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_02]: That's the sixth movie.

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_02]: That's the sixth movie.

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, I thought, oh yeah.

[00:12:59] [SPEAKER_04]: What about the ring though?

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what you're talking about.

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_02]: The ring that Anakin gives to Padme

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_02]: at the end of the movie when they get married.

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_06]: No, the ring that they find in the fighting ring.

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_02]: The fighting ring and then there's also the wedding ring.

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_02]: It's thematic.

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_02]: The rings are a recurring symbol at the end of the...

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, she puts a ring on his robot hand

[00:13:15] [SPEAKER_02]: and he puts a ring on her non-robot hand.

[00:13:16] [SPEAKER_02]: How do we know it's not a robot hand though?

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_02]: How do we know her hand's not a robot?

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_02]: God, if you only got to make the third movie.

[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Can you imagine where it would go?

[00:13:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Big twist.

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_02]: She's got a robot hand too.

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_02]: She's got a robot hand too.

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a nice foreshadowing too when they're on the droid factory line.

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, and his arm gets like, yeah, stapled basically

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_06]: by I guess a droid construction machine.

[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_04]: My favorite line happens in the droid assembly line.

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Which is?

[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_04]: C-3PO wants it and he goes,

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Machines making machines.

[00:13:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Like now I've seen everything, you know?

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Like you have it...

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Machines make machines now.

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_04]: It's true.

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_04]: It's not really science fiction.

[00:13:53] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that happened like as soon as Ford came around.

[00:13:56] [SPEAKER_02]: You have to remember this was a long time ago.

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_02]: It's true, in a Galaxy 4.

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_06]: This movie was a long time ago.

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_06]: My favorite line is when C-3PO just says,

[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_06]: I'm so confused.

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, when he's got his head on a lot of things.

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_02]: What about when his head's being dragged and he goes,

[00:14:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh what a drag.

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Drag.

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I wrote that down.

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to forget it at all.

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_06]: We will get to the bizarre inclusion of,

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_06]: yeah, that like 10 minutes of C-3PO.

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_02]: There's so much comedy in this movie.

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_04]: I honestly think it's for kids.

[00:14:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Like I think there's so much heavy talk about shit.

[00:14:27] [SPEAKER_06]: Phantom Menace has it all the way through Jar Jar Jar.

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_06]: Whereas this has not had it, so yeah,

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_06]: let's give him a concentrated dose.

[00:14:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Up until this point the film has been very mature.

[00:14:36] [SPEAKER_04]: Well like in the A.S. Scott review of it,

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_04]: he was saying that you get this distinct feeling

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_04]: that like will this be on the test?

[00:14:44] [SPEAKER_04]: You know like at the beginning of the movie,

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_04]: it's like well the moon of Naboo

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_04]: and you're like what the fuck is that?

[00:14:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Like is that important?

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Like you guys have been talking for 15 minutes about something

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_04]: and I have no idea what's going on.

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_04]: And then so I think you need C-3PO being like,

[00:14:58] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm so confused to be like okay,

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_02]: someone gets it by not getting it.

[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah exactly.

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Someone else does understand what's happening.

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Well I mean this point, Dooku ends up being

[00:15:08] [SPEAKER_02]: I would say the dominant villain of the film.

[00:15:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Like but yeah, he's the number one villain.

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Of course, is there another villain?

[00:15:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Well he's building the Death Star.

[00:15:15] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I don't know what that is.

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_04]: It's that red shiny laser thing that comes out of his compact.

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_02]: That's an interesting nickname you gave it.

[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's a great name.

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I'd call it a Killership.

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I would call it having only seen the blue prince

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Morgan.

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_06]: Right, right.

[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_06]: Well what's interesting to me is that

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_06]: I think it's implied that the bug people designed

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_06]: the weapon, right?

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_06]: That's what they do.

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, that's kind of weird bugs.

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_06]: They're real smart.

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, like why did the bug people get diverted

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_06]: into building like robots and ultimate weapons?

[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_06]: No, they build ant hills.

[00:15:48] [SPEAKER_06]: They're good at buildings.

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm still confused about how the tiny bug people are smart

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_04]: but the big bugs don't speak or anything.

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh yeah.

[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because Poggle the Lesser talks.

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Poggle the Lesser.

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_02]: But the other ones just go like,

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they go, yeah, they don't even make like

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_02]: syllable ratings.

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_04]: One is like a normal praying mantis that's large.

[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[00:16:07] [SPEAKER_06]: And with almost like a beard,

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_06]: like he has sort of humanoid features.

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_06]: One of them has like a mustache.

[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, it's all a little Fu Manchu, I guess.

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_06]: I never really thought about this because this movie is way

[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_06]: less racist than the Phantom Menace, but that's not like an achievement.

[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know what?

[00:16:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's take a break to commend Georgie Portia.

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, he definitely like pulled back.

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_02]: He told it down a lot.

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, I dig the romance aspect of it.

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_04]: That's what carries me through.

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like it's the degrassee of it.

[00:16:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Like the first one is a nice origin story about kids.

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_04]: It's like a kids movie and then you got degrassee high and that's this.

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_04]: That's, you know, Annie.

[00:16:46] [SPEAKER_04]: So do you think the teens fumbling in romance?

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, exactly, yeah.

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Do you think the third one would have been like last tango in Naboo?

[00:16:51] [SPEAKER_02]: You mean they made it third one?

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like if they were able to.

[00:16:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Do you think that's what it would have been?

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Hypothetic.

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_04]: I would think it'd be more terms of endearment.

[00:16:59] [SPEAKER_04]: Really?

[00:17:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Tragedy.

[00:17:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I mean they cut forward 10 years,

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_04]: so let's say they're not going to cut forward like 40 years.

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_04]: You're right.

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_04]: It's totally true.

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_06]: Recast again.

[00:17:08] [SPEAKER_06]: And also third one.

[00:17:09] [SPEAKER_06]: But keep Natalie Portman somehow, just you know, all the way through.

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_02]: And also third film you'd be setting up, you'd be closing out.

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a trilogy.

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_02]: You only make three films.

[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Three is enough.

[00:17:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Three is the perfect number.

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_06]: It's a magic number.

[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_06]: And there's a story they're building too.

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_06]: You know, there's some sort of arc to all of this.

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_06]: Oh, 100.

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_06]: You know what it is.

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Right, but you assume in a third film he would have made it all clear.

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Like hindsight's 20-20.

[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_06]: Your film definitely would have wrapped everything up really satisfactorily.

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_06]: Everything out.

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_06]: With no trouble at all.

[00:17:34] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_02]: We would have understand why they spent.

[00:17:39] [SPEAKER_02]: So much time on booba fat, you know, like things like that.

[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_02]: All these weird little like side tracks.

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't go anywhere.

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_06]: Can we get back to the main plot?

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_02]: So Obi-Wan is in the force thing.

[00:17:53] [SPEAKER_02]: And Dooku who like just talk about Mr. X, right?

[00:17:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Like you're thinking of the test.

[00:17:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Cipher Diaz has been mentioned so much.

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_02]: If you watch this movie you go, Cipher Diaz is the villain.

[00:18:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:18:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Like they said he's dead.

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_02]: It turns out he's not really dead.

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_04]: We still don't know who that is.

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_06]: No, we're not.

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_06]: No effort to explain it.

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_06]: Explain what they're talking about.

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_06]: And also they give him the most like confusing name where you're like Cipher Diaz.

[00:18:12] [SPEAKER_06]: His name is Cipher Diaz.

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_06]: But he's like the Kaiser Soze.

[00:18:15] [SPEAKER_04]: I thought it was like a part they needed.

[00:18:17] [SPEAKER_03]: They need us.

[00:18:19] [SPEAKER_04]: We need a Cipher Diaz for the show.

[00:18:23] [SPEAKER_06]: Anyway, you're right.

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_06]: They keep talking about this guy who never shows up.

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_02]: So Dooku is like, well they talked about it a few times but in very vague terms

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_02]: it's like he used to be a Jedi.

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Now he's the count.

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Now he's doing good stuff.

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Which just, I thought it was like a lifelong commitment.

[00:18:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought it's like, you know once you give your life to the church

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_02]: then you're like in it for good.

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Apparently you can just retire if you get a better job offer.

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Well, they recruit you when you're a baby.

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_02]: They do.

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_02]: They raise you.

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_02]: They tell you can't fuck.

[00:18:49] [SPEAKER_02]: That's true.

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_02]: And then if you're like 65, you don't find a way to fuck.

[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh Dooku fucks.

[00:18:55] [SPEAKER_02]: But did they kick him out?

[00:18:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Did he retire?

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Did he find a hot piece?

[00:18:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Do you think he fucked bug people?

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Is that why he's there?

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Possibly.

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Well he definitely fucked Jakosin.

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Because we know that.

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_02]: We know that.

[00:19:03] [SPEAKER_06]: We know that for 100% certainty.

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_02]: But now he's on a planet with bug people who all seem to be male.

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Not to stereotype, but none of these bug people seem to identify as female.

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_02]: True.

[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_06]: But wait, but beyond that point, he didn't really get it

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_06]: while he did kind of get a new job.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_06]: But he's like the leader of all this.

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_06]: He's like the separatist king.

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and now he's on a planet with bug people in an arena made out of vaginas.

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Sure.

[00:19:29] [SPEAKER_06]: Made out of openings.

[00:19:30] [SPEAKER_06]: And then there's the bug people.

[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_06]: There's the trade fed, what are they?

[00:19:36] [SPEAKER_06]: The Namoidians.

[00:19:36] [SPEAKER_06]: Namoidians.

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_06]: They're still around.

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_02]: They're hanging out with him a lot.

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_06]: There's like a green robot guy who like...

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_06]: What, Tambor?

[00:19:43] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, who has like...

[00:19:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Brother of Jeffrey Tambor.

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_06]: And there's like...

[00:19:48] [SPEAKER_06]: He's like unified many people, right?

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_06]: This is the idea.

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[00:19:51] [SPEAKER_02]: And they're looking at this killer ship.

[00:19:54] [SPEAKER_06]: They're looking...

[00:19:54] [SPEAKER_06]: And they want to get this...

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_06]: What did you call it?

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_06]: This is the most killer ship.

[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_06]: Dense shit I've ever heard.

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_06]: It's the densest movie ever.

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, but like even having seen it a bunch of times.

[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_06]: Dense movie so in such detail it's ridiculous.

[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_06]: The film barely tells us anything.

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_02]: You watched it last night.

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I've seen it a bunch of times, but like I still never know to call them Namoidians.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Like is that something you Google?

[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean we've been doing this for months now.

[00:20:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's the thing.

[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_02]: And even every week we have to like correct what we said the last week because it turns out we already got things wrong.

[00:20:21] [SPEAKER_02]: It's so hard to keep it straight.

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_02]: We will watch the film.

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_04]: It's like Scientology.

[00:20:24] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:20:25] [SPEAKER_04]: Tons of new verbs and nouns and stuff you have to know.

[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Morgan's getting really into Scientology for a list of them.

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_04]: Ah, Morgan moved to LA.

[00:20:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Morgan's moving to LA.

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_02]: He thinks he's into Scientology at a safe distance.

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_02]: He thinks he's just interested.

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_02]: They call me every day.

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you're about to get totally absorbed by this.

[00:20:40] [SPEAKER_02]: This podcast is going to be the last recording of you as a free man.

[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, they're going to like sue us and make us scrub all of this.

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Look guys, all I'm saying is that Scientology isn't that bad.

[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_06]: I mean it's just basically like you know just feeling good about yourself and then everything works out okay right?

[00:20:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Morgan, your girlfriend is an actress and your girlfriend Robin and I were on the same shoot together like two months ago

[00:21:06] [SPEAKER_02]: and we talked about you the entire time because both of us were concerned that you were going to get lost in Scientology.

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_04]: We were like do we have a responsibility to stop this from happening?

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up Scientology.

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_04]: This is a huge tangent but I did take five hours of diet at a time.

[00:21:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly!

[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_02]: That's his first one.

[00:21:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Because you were like I'm just interested.

[00:21:22] [SPEAKER_04]: I was seeing Going Clear with Neil Casey and I walked out and I was like am I the only one who came out of that going like this?

[00:21:29] [SPEAKER_04]: I want to do this and he was like yeah.

[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_04]: You're the only one.

[00:21:33] [SPEAKER_06]: I think Tom Cruise came out of being like I don't know if this is a good idea.

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Tom Cruise is now allegedly leaving Scientology because of the effect of Going Clear

[00:21:41] [SPEAKER_02]: and you saw the movie and were like I got it.

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I heard it was over.

[00:21:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, I heard it was over.

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_06]: I'll admit I am the person who saw Super Size Me and left that thinking like McDonald's.

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_06]: I could really right now eat some McDonald's.

[00:21:52] [SPEAKER_02]: It's so good but that's a different McDonald's is objectively the best food.

[00:21:56] [SPEAKER_06]: In that movie he eats, remember he eats the Big Mac or the Happy Meal or whatever

[00:22:00] [SPEAKER_06]: and then he throws up outside of the car.

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_06]: You make me hungry.

[00:22:03] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, I was like yeah.

[00:22:04] [SPEAKER_06]: I eat that throw up.

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_04]: I feel this way about watching this and wanting to make a movie still.

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, oh yeah.

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_06]: Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_06]: This is a great argument against never making a movie again.

[00:22:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Movie shouldn't exist.

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_06]: Alright, wait a second.

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_06]: Okay, so I want to talk about this scene where Obi-Wan is floating

[00:22:20] [SPEAKER_06]: because Dooku comes out and I feel like after all this misinformation

[00:22:25] [SPEAKER_06]: he's like here's who I am, here's what's going on with me.

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_06]: He doesn't lie.

[00:22:30] [SPEAKER_02]: But he acts like he's on Obi-Wan's side.

[00:22:33] [SPEAKER_02]: He's like this is terrible.

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I had no idea.

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_02]: He does.

[00:22:36] [SPEAKER_02]: We have to fix this immediately.

[00:22:37] [SPEAKER_06]: But he also was like, SyphoDius is a pawn.

[00:22:41] [SPEAKER_06]: I'm under the control of a Sith Lord called Darth Sidious.

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_06]: A dead pawn.

[00:22:44] [SPEAKER_06]: We end up burning him.

[00:22:46] [SPEAKER_06]: This is what I mean.

[00:22:46] [SPEAKER_06]: He doesn't lie.

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:22:48] [SPEAKER_06]: He's just like yeah, yeah, yeah, this is what's actually going on.

[00:22:51] [SPEAKER_06]: But he acts like he's a buddy.

[00:22:52] [SPEAKER_06]: He tells them the truth in a buddy way.

[00:22:54] [SPEAKER_06]: But I think if Obi-Wan was like you know what, I'm with you.

[00:22:56] [SPEAKER_06]: He'd be like great, let's do it.

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_06]: That's what he's trying to get him to do.

[00:22:59] [SPEAKER_02]: He's trying to Scientology him.

[00:23:00] [SPEAKER_04]: Would you say there are many twists in the Star Wars universe?

[00:23:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, bag of pretzels, yeah.

[00:23:06] [SPEAKER_02]: They're right about...

[00:23:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Get him at the 50s diner.

[00:23:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:23:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, we talked a lot about the 50s diner.

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_04]: I heard it.

[00:23:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I heard it.

[00:23:13] [SPEAKER_02]: We're gonna do two more episodes just on the dumb.

[00:23:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I swear to God.

[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_04]: It's so funny.

[00:23:18] [SPEAKER_04]: I love everyone's accent in these movies.

[00:23:20] [SPEAKER_04]: It's like oh you're from England.

[00:23:22] [SPEAKER_04]: You're from the Bronx.

[00:23:23] [SPEAKER_04]: You're from Space Bronx.

[00:23:24] [SPEAKER_02]: One order of space eggs coming up.

[00:23:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Get your New York, I mean space times.

[00:23:37] [SPEAKER_03]: Obi-Wan's on a lightning ride.

[00:23:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Dooku's like here's what's going on but I'm your friend.

[00:23:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Sure.

[00:23:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Come over with me and Obi-Wan's like no, I'm a Jedi.

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't quit just because there's some nice piece of pussy for me to chase after.

[00:23:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Like you Dooku, you and your bug pussy and he's like they don't have pussies.

[00:23:55] [SPEAKER_02]: That's why they build them out of stone.

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_02]: All of this happens in the film.

[00:23:59] [SPEAKER_02]: All this dialogue is said out loud.

[00:24:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Verbate him.

[00:24:01] [SPEAKER_06]: So he's like fine then you, I'll leave you be.

[00:24:04] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, then yeah he just leaves and then in the next scene is Obi-Wan just chained to a giant pillar.

[00:24:09] [SPEAKER_06]: Is there anything in between those two things?

[00:24:11] [SPEAKER_06]: Oh, I'm sorry.

[00:24:12] [SPEAKER_06]: Dwarf actually.

[00:24:12] [SPEAKER_02]: What happened in between that scene?

[00:24:15] [SPEAKER_02]: So he's in the lightning thing then you see Anakin and Padme land.

[00:24:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Like here it is.

[00:24:20] [SPEAKER_02]: He goes look some exhaust.

[00:24:22] [SPEAKER_02]: They like see exhaust coming out of like tubes.

[00:24:25] [SPEAKER_02]: And they're like still on oil.

[00:24:26] [SPEAKER_02]: We should land there.

[00:24:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:24:28] [SPEAKER_02]: That's their thing like oh that's a good place to land.

[00:24:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah on a planet by the way.

[00:24:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Right on a planet.

[00:24:32] [SPEAKER_02]: They see exhaust and they're like oh there must be a factory.

[00:24:33] [SPEAKER_06]: What if they landed on the other side of the planet by mistake?

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_06]: And they're like oh shit we gotta go 40,000 miles that way to go find Obi-Wan.

[00:24:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Every planet in these two movies.

[00:24:43] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like they have one parking lot and everyone's like great put us right there.

[00:24:46] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like every planet is like Canada or 10% is populated.

[00:24:50] [SPEAKER_06]: And the rest of it's just a wilderness.

[00:24:52] [SPEAKER_06]: What is another hot desert planet?

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_06]: It's another hot desert.

[00:24:54] [SPEAKER_06]: So yeah they go into the bug land and then yeah they wander through the park.

[00:24:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay so they see the exhaust.

[00:24:57] [SPEAKER_02]: They're like park where the exhaust is.

[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't keep on driving try to find where people are.

[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_02]: No sure why would you do that?

[00:25:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Then they find a random door.

[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yep this is all correct.

[00:25:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I rewatched Just Make Sure It Was This Random and Coincidental.

[00:25:10] [SPEAKER_06]: No and the movie is just like come on.

[00:25:13] [SPEAKER_04]: My question is yeah do they have like a navigation thing?

[00:25:16] [SPEAKER_04]: Are we supposed to assume that they have some sort of map?

[00:25:19] [SPEAKER_04]: No there's no discussion.

[00:25:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Like R2 or somebody knows where that is.

[00:25:22] [SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely not.

[00:25:22] [SPEAKER_04]: No Anakin just sees the exhaust.

[00:25:24] [SPEAKER_04]: Well then that's Jedi stuff.

[00:25:26] [SPEAKER_04]: Jedi intuition.

[00:25:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah that must be what it is.

[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_03]: There's people.

[00:25:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Well that's Jedi intuition for sure.

[00:25:34] [SPEAKER_04]: Knowing what smoke means.

[00:25:35] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a famous old Jedi saying.

[00:25:36] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah there's smoke there's people.

[00:25:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:25:39] [SPEAKER_04]: That old Jedi adage.

[00:25:40] [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like I buy that's not concerning to me.

[00:25:43] [SPEAKER_04]: Like I feel like if you can sense that somebody is dying on a foreign planet

[00:25:47] [SPEAKER_04]: then you should be able to find the goddamn door to get to them.

[00:25:50] [SPEAKER_02]: But they're really far off.

[00:25:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Like they're not anywhere close to where he is.

[00:25:53] [SPEAKER_06]: No they have there's one droid factory in between where they need to be

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_06]: and where is the real Jedi.

[00:25:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah to get there you have to go through a droid factory.

[00:26:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Well Pat makes something very important right before they walk through the door.

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_02]: She's like I'd love to do some diplomatic negotiations here.

[00:26:10] [SPEAKER_02]: She's like I'd be good I'm a senator I'm here maybe I can talk to the people

[00:26:14] [SPEAKER_02]: do some diplomatic negotiations.

[00:26:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Now let's open this door.

[00:26:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh it's a droid factory.

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_06]: And then like they just fall into a conveyor belt.

[00:26:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Right it just becomes like a level of Super Mario.

[00:26:26] [SPEAKER_04]: It becomes the first scene in Edward Scissorhands.

[00:26:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah yeah it's like it becomes the opening credit sequence where the whole process

[00:26:34] [SPEAKER_02]: and then it turns out you're just making a cookie.

[00:26:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:26:37] [SPEAKER_02]: It also reminded me a lot of released three years earlier

[00:26:42] [SPEAKER_02]: there's a very similar sequence in Galaxy Quest.

[00:26:45] [SPEAKER_06]: Yes that's true but it's almost a joke where they're like why are there blades here

[00:26:49] [SPEAKER_06]: this doesn't make any sense.

[00:26:50] [SPEAKER_02]: The joke is why is this timed at such a random order.

[00:26:52] [SPEAKER_02]: The joke in Galaxy Quest is the TV show was shitty.

[00:26:56] [SPEAKER_02]: The aliens have rebuilt the ship based off of the TV show.

[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_02]: There's no reason the pillar should be dropping and the smoke should be shooting out at those moments.

[00:27:05] [SPEAKER_02]: And she's like whoever wrote this is an asshole.

[00:27:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah well I mean Galaxy Quest is like the greatest movie ever made.

[00:27:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh it's one of the best.

[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Yep.

[00:27:11] [SPEAKER_04]: If not the best.

[00:27:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Are they bringing that back that's what I heard.

[00:27:13] [SPEAKER_04]: They fucking should.

[00:27:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah I heard there was a sequel.

[00:27:15] [SPEAKER_06]: Do we need do we need to can we not just let it be.

[00:27:17] [SPEAKER_06]: It is kind of perfect.

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean why not is my philosophy on anything.

[00:27:23] [SPEAKER_04]: This is why you're moving to LA you're going to ruin everything.

[00:27:26] [SPEAKER_03]: You're going to become a Scientologist.

[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_03]: You're going to be like why not.

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER_03]: We're going to reboot everything.

[00:27:30] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah well because then it exists and no one needs to see it.

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_04]: But you have an option to.

[00:27:37] [SPEAKER_06]: Why not make it so that no one can watch.

[00:27:39] [SPEAKER_06]: What is stirring sentiment.

[00:27:41] [SPEAKER_04]: You have the option to see it.

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_04]: You don't have to.

[00:27:43] [SPEAKER_04]: I like the first SpongeBob movie did anyone see the second one's great.

[00:27:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Well I'll never know.

[00:27:49] [SPEAKER_02]: It's really good you should see it.

[00:27:50] [SPEAKER_02]: First one's really good though.

[00:27:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Did you see the second one.

[00:27:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Haven't seen it.

[00:27:53] [SPEAKER_02]: It's really really good.

[00:27:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I kind of like it more than the first one.

[00:27:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:27:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm meaning to see it.

[00:27:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I can see it on video.

[00:27:58] [SPEAKER_02]: I'll say I want to publicly use my platform here to say this to everybody.

[00:28:03] [SPEAKER_02]: The like live action CGI superhero stuff in the movie is the last 15 minutes.

[00:28:07] [SPEAKER_06]: Right all the stuff that was like they told me so much about it.

[00:28:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah the first 85% of the movie is just a classic SpongeBob movie.

[00:28:13] [SPEAKER_02]: It's about SpongeBob and plankton on a road trip together.

[00:28:15] [SPEAKER_02]: It's fucking great.

[00:28:16] [SPEAKER_02]: That sounds awesome.

[00:28:16] [SPEAKER_02]: And then the superhero stuff is great when it happens but it's not the majority of the movie.

[00:28:19] [SPEAKER_06]: My roommate is always convinced that my brother is like exactly like Squidward.

[00:28:25] [SPEAKER_06]: Your brother is exactly like Squidward.

[00:28:27] [SPEAKER_06]: In his demeanor.

[00:28:27] [SPEAKER_06]: Right you've met my brother and yes so we always call him Squidward anyway.

[00:28:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Who's the Squidward in Star Wars?

[00:28:34] [SPEAKER_04]: The little bug man with the large nose who flies around.

[00:28:38] [SPEAKER_04]: A wato.

[00:28:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah a wato.

[00:28:40] [SPEAKER_04]: That's Squidward right.

[00:28:41] [SPEAKER_04]: My best friend.

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Pod racing guy.

[00:28:43] [SPEAKER_06]: You know wato is Griffin's favorite Star Wars character.

[00:28:45] [SPEAKER_06]: It's my favorite Star Wars character.

[00:28:46] [SPEAKER_06]: Really?

[00:28:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah the flying space Jew.

[00:28:48] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah the flying space Jew slaver.

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:28:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway.

[00:28:53] [SPEAKER_02]: He sells junk he owns slaves.

[00:28:55] [SPEAKER_02]: He's Anakin's father.

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_02]: That's my big theory is that he's Anakin's father.

[00:28:58] [SPEAKER_02]: This is a serious because Anakin's penis looks like wato's nose.

[00:29:01] [SPEAKER_02]: That's my theory.

[00:29:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I've resided that now for the fifth time on this show.

[00:29:03] [SPEAKER_06]: Do we have anything to say about the conveyor belt with Anakin and...

[00:29:07] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah well the most important thing happens.

[00:29:08] [SPEAKER_06]: There's nothing to say about it.

[00:29:09] [SPEAKER_02]: So they're fucking jumping around avoiding things.

[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Blades chop chop.

[00:29:13] [SPEAKER_02]: They clearly don't know what's coming.

[00:29:15] [SPEAKER_02]: George is yelling very vague direction.

[00:29:17] [SPEAKER_02]: No no Natalie it's a droid factory.

[00:29:21] [SPEAKER_02]: What does that mean George?

[00:29:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Just react like you're in a droid factory.

[00:29:24] [SPEAKER_06]: At one point Padme falls into like a smelting...

[00:29:27] [SPEAKER_06]: That's what I love about him.

[00:29:28] [SPEAKER_06]: Jar.

[00:29:29] [SPEAKER_06]: She's just like I'm in a big ball now.

[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah and yeah.

[00:29:32] [SPEAKER_06]: It's like a giant pestle and mortar.

[00:29:34] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[00:29:35] [SPEAKER_04]: There is a lot of good I think cutting there.

[00:29:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Like I think that there's you know it's kind of interesting.

[00:29:41] [SPEAKER_04]: You think the lava is going to drop on her.

[00:29:43] [SPEAKER_04]: You're speaking as a filmmaker.

[00:29:44] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah I think there's some interesting stuff going on cinematically.

[00:29:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Sure.

[00:29:48] [SPEAKER_04]: I would say not thematically or plot wise.

[00:29:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Sure.

[00:29:51] [SPEAKER_04]: But definitely in the way they're cutting it you're like oh shit she's going to get covered in goo and then it's fine.

[00:29:57] [SPEAKER_06]: We talked a lot on Phantom Manus about how George Lucas likes the no talky the action.

[00:30:02] [SPEAKER_06]: You know like the lot of race.

[00:30:03] [SPEAKER_06]: It's like a chaplain like modern times.

[00:30:05] [SPEAKER_06]: It's very chaplain-y or Harold Lloyd or whatever.

[00:30:07] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:30:08] [SPEAKER_02]: It's hijinksy.

[00:30:09] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like she's falling in bold.

[00:30:11] [SPEAKER_02]: He's getting his hand caught in a mental like you say yeah.

[00:30:15] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh it's great I love it.

[00:30:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Now but they're.

[00:30:18] [SPEAKER_04]: I do love it.

[00:30:19] [SPEAKER_04]: But when C-3PO stumbles on.

[00:30:22] [SPEAKER_04]: See this is the important thing to do.

[00:30:23] [SPEAKER_06]: Why did they because they enter later C-3PO and R2D2.

[00:30:27] [SPEAKER_06]: They're following but way behind because they're really slow.

[00:30:29] [SPEAKER_06]: Because they're slow.

[00:30:30] [SPEAKER_02]: C-3PO just falls in like does R2 actually push him in?

[00:30:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Well C-3PO and Anakin are talking on the ship before they disembark.

[00:30:39] [SPEAKER_02]: And they're having a weird fight.

[00:30:43] [SPEAKER_02]: But we can't really understand what's being said because R2 doesn't speak English.

[00:30:47] [SPEAKER_02]: That's true.

[00:30:47] [SPEAKER_02]: R2 is going like beep beep beep beep.

[00:30:49] [SPEAKER_02]: And C-3PO is like of course I'm going that's my job.

[00:30:52] [SPEAKER_02]: See it's funny too who gets subtitles and who doesn't.

[00:30:55] [SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot of subtitles in this film.

[00:30:56] [SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot of subtitles and then R2 is still just unintelligible.

[00:31:00] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah we're just supposed to base all of everything.

[00:31:02] [SPEAKER_06]: It's just on how people are reacting to it.

[00:31:04] [SPEAKER_02]: And I feel like that can be done.

[00:31:07] [SPEAKER_02]: It is not done in this film.

[00:31:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Like C-3PO's response is don't make it clear what R2 is saying.

[00:31:12] [SPEAKER_02]: He's just got his metas offended.

[00:31:13] [SPEAKER_02]: But he's getting pissy with him.

[00:31:14] [SPEAKER_02]: It seems like R2 is giving him some guff, right?

[00:31:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:31:17] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's like oh okay.

[00:31:18] [SPEAKER_02]: And they don't really know each other.

[00:31:20] [SPEAKER_02]: They've kind of just met.

[00:31:22] [SPEAKER_02]: No they didn't meet on Tatooine.

[00:31:23] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the first time they met and they're automatically fast enemies.

[00:31:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay so it seems like there's a little bit of irritation between the two of them.

[00:31:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Well it's like when you have a robot and your friend has a robot and you're like oh our robot should be friends.

[00:31:35] [SPEAKER_04]: It's just because their robot doesn't necessarily mean it should be friends.

[00:31:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Your robot, your robot.

[00:31:40] [SPEAKER_02]: You guys have a lot to talk about.

[00:31:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Like how you can't fuck.

[00:31:43] [SPEAKER_02]: How do you even speak the same language?

[00:31:44] [SPEAKER_02]: You can't fuck.

[00:31:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay so they're falling behind them.

[00:31:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:31:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Then C-3PO is looking over the ledge where they've fallen and they're going through the whole Buster Key routine.

[00:31:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:31:52] [SPEAKER_02]: And they're just watching you say oh no.

[00:31:54] [SPEAKER_02]: How terrible.

[00:31:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Machines making machines.

[00:31:56] [SPEAKER_02]: What's next?

[00:31:57] [SPEAKER_02]: And then R2 comes up behind him and hits him.

[00:31:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Right?

[00:32:00] [SPEAKER_02]: What's Ben looking at?

[00:32:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Ben is looking up C-3PO jokes.

[00:32:03] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh I see.

[00:32:05] [SPEAKER_02]: You're looking up C-3PO jokes?

[00:32:06] [SPEAKER_02]: It looks like the most 90s old website ever.

[00:32:08] [SPEAKER_02]: I bet you're looking up like quippy one-liners to say.

[00:32:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Well quickly before you say anything this of course...

[00:32:15] [SPEAKER_02]: They're going to check in with me at some point so I had to have some totally whips.

[00:32:18] [SPEAKER_02]: This is our new segment.

[00:32:19] [SPEAKER_02]: This is Joke Corner from producer Ben, aka producer Ben, aka Bendus, aka the Haas, aka Mr. Positive, aka HelloFenl.

[00:32:29] [SPEAKER_05]: There's really nothing, Ben.

[00:32:31] [SPEAKER_05]: No there's not.

[00:32:32] [SPEAKER_05]: You haven't found anything.

[00:32:33] [SPEAKER_05]: I have to keep looking.

[00:32:35] [SPEAKER_02]: But Joke Corner, we've been setting up Joke Corner for five weeks and you haven't found one fucking joke?

[00:32:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Just saying what a drag.

[00:32:41] [SPEAKER_05]: Boy this Star Wars, what a drag.

[00:32:45] [SPEAKER_06]: Anyway, so C-3PO gets shoved into the thing.

[00:32:48] [SPEAKER_03]: Well first it's just a little tap.

[00:32:51] [SPEAKER_02]: And C-3PO is like oh, please walk, you almost knocked me over.

[00:32:55] [SPEAKER_02]: And then R2 is like oh good idea.

[00:32:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah it's true.

[00:32:58] [SPEAKER_04]: He tried some murder at him.

[00:33:00] [SPEAKER_04]: That is intense.

[00:33:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Why does he do it?

[00:33:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Because they had like a five second disagreement on a ship.

[00:33:04] [SPEAKER_06]: Well you would think maybe it would pay off, like oh he needed him to fall into the droid thing

[00:33:09] [SPEAKER_06]: because it does this later thing or shuts down the droid doesn't...

[00:33:12] [SPEAKER_06]: No, no, it was to kill him.

[00:33:15] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, he's literally just trying to kill this guy.

[00:33:17] [SPEAKER_06]: And R2 reveals previously unnoticed jets in his slays.

[00:33:20] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he can fly!

[00:33:21] [SPEAKER_06]: He can fly!

[00:33:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Why do you...

[00:33:23] [SPEAKER_02]: He has the most wheels in the world.

[00:33:25] [SPEAKER_02]: This whole fucking these two movies you have to wait for R2 to get there.

[00:33:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Someone probably wasn't able to check a bag because they had to bring R2.

[00:33:31] [SPEAKER_04]: And he could have flown the entire time.

[00:33:32] [SPEAKER_04]: He could have flown!

[00:33:33] [SPEAKER_04]: Padme's got some crazy luggage.

[00:33:36] [SPEAKER_03]: I wasn't able to check a bag.

[00:33:37] [SPEAKER_04]: She's like I need my headdress box, you know?

[00:33:40] [SPEAKER_04]: That's why she's running around without one of those crazy things on her.

[00:33:43] [SPEAKER_02]: He was late, she was late to the airport because R2 turns out he can fly the whole time.

[00:33:47] [SPEAKER_02]: So he pushes him over and then he just starts flying around.

[00:33:49] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he just flies over the action.

[00:33:50] [SPEAKER_06]: I guess he does stop the lava from spewing all over.

[00:33:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Padme getting in her bowl, getting in her cereal bowl?

[00:33:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but almost by accident.

[00:34:00] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, he's like fiddling around with the computer.

[00:34:02] [SPEAKER_06]: Again we don't really get what R2's motivations are.

[00:34:05] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, he puts his little robot finger.

[00:34:11] [SPEAKER_02]: He's got robot penises and jet packs.

[00:34:13] [SPEAKER_04]: I love that security in the Star Wars universe is just so minimal.

[00:34:17] [SPEAKER_04]: You can just hack it, you have a shitty computer.

[00:34:19] [SPEAKER_06]: One of these robots and that's it, you can get through everything.

[00:34:22] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like what's R2 supposed to be?

[00:34:24] [SPEAKER_06]: He's a hyperdrive repair droid from the first movie.

[00:34:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, okay.

[00:34:30] [SPEAKER_06]: That is all...

[00:34:30] [SPEAKER_02]: It does navigation because he helped out Ann again in the Naboo Starfire.

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_06]: He fits in your ship.

[00:34:35] [SPEAKER_04]: But he's also a black hat hacker.

[00:34:37] [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly, yeah.

[00:34:38] [SPEAKER_06]: And also in minutes can hack into the like, this is where they make the droids.

[00:34:43] [SPEAKER_06]: God knows what Havok he could read.

[00:34:45] [SPEAKER_06]: He's a classic Chris Hemsworth type.

[00:34:45] [SPEAKER_06]: He's your...

[00:34:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it's almost like why don't you just flip a switch and make all those droids good.

[00:34:50] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, or maybe just off.

[00:34:52] [SPEAKER_06]: Just hit a whole, everything off.

[00:34:54] [SPEAKER_06]: Not just the lava.

[00:34:55] [SPEAKER_02]: This movie is weirdly concerned with what it takes to build an army.

[00:34:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Like what's more movies are about the cost of war and all the soldiers we lose.

[00:35:03] [SPEAKER_02]: And in this movie they're like, oh no, no, no, the warriors are just things you make.

[00:35:07] [SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't matter who dies, who cares.

[00:35:09] [SPEAKER_06]: That is the only real justification of this scene is that we've already seen the clones being made

[00:35:13] [SPEAKER_06]: and filing off into their ships.

[00:35:15] [SPEAKER_06]: So here we are, this is the other side. This is where the droids come from.

[00:35:18] [SPEAKER_06]: This is where the droids come from.

[00:35:19] [SPEAKER_06]: Had you...

[00:35:19] [SPEAKER_06]: Had you fascinating.

[00:35:20] [SPEAKER_06]: Hinosis is your droid planet.

[00:35:21] [SPEAKER_04]: Do you think that this movie is an allegory for like 9-11 and what happened afterwards?

[00:35:25] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.

[00:35:26] [SPEAKER_06]: I think that this movie is like a really shitty analogy for that kind of stuff.

[00:35:29] [SPEAKER_06]: For like the general politics of the era.

[00:35:31] [SPEAKER_06]: Particularly when they put like...

[00:35:33] [SPEAKER_06]: Sort of saber rattling.

[00:35:33] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, exactly.

[00:35:34] [SPEAKER_04]: And they put all the power in the hands of that other old white guy who's not Dooku.

[00:35:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Palpatine.

[00:35:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Palpatine.

[00:35:39] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a lot of fear mongering.

[00:35:40] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a lot of like if we don't have an army, things are gonna get bad.

[00:35:43] [SPEAKER_02]: We have to be first.

[00:35:44] [SPEAKER_06]: And Jojar is like just representative of all like foolish politicians who like buy into this

[00:35:50] [SPEAKER_04]: line of argument.

[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_04]: And the reason it's a bad allegory I think is because they do have a huge army.

[00:35:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:35:57] [SPEAKER_04]: So they would need one.

[00:35:59] [SPEAKER_04]: Whereas we had a huge one and they had like 12 guys.

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_04]: It's true.

[00:36:03] [SPEAKER_02]: What if we got to Afghanistan?

[00:36:05] [SPEAKER_06]: There's so much...

[00:36:05] [SPEAKER_06]: I know it's insane.

[00:36:06] [SPEAKER_06]: There's so many holes in the whole thing because they seem to not want these separatists who

[00:36:11] [SPEAKER_06]: Dooku leads to leave the republic.

[00:36:13] [SPEAKER_06]: But why?

[00:36:14] [SPEAKER_06]: Let them leave.

[00:36:15] [SPEAKER_06]: They seem like annoying troublemakers.

[00:36:17] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:36:17] [SPEAKER_06]: What's the big deal?

[00:36:17] [SPEAKER_04]: You have enough planets.

[00:36:19] [SPEAKER_04]: There are clearly so many planets.

[00:36:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Too many planets.

[00:36:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God.

[00:36:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Too many planets.

[00:36:23] [SPEAKER_04]: I guess it's the dark side.

[00:36:24] [SPEAKER_04]: They know it's probably being run by the dark side.

[00:36:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Although they keep saying, it's like as Jedi's we should have seen this coming.

[00:36:30] [SPEAKER_04]: They're like yeah wasn't that convenient for the plot.

[00:36:32] [SPEAKER_06]: They say that an awful lot.

[00:36:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Well Dooku's not just a politician.

[00:36:35] [SPEAKER_02]: He's a Sith.

[00:36:37] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:36:37] [SPEAKER_06]: Well, but he's kind of revealing that right now to Obi-Wan.

[00:36:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:36:41] [SPEAKER_04]: That's true.

[00:36:42] [SPEAKER_06]: Like that is unclear.

[00:36:44] [SPEAKER_04]: It's like the twist.

[00:36:45] [SPEAKER_02]: A twist where character we only met five minutes ago.

[00:36:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah exactly.

[00:36:49] [SPEAKER_06]: And by the way, and he knew the call himself Darth Taranis.

[00:36:53] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[00:36:54] [SPEAKER_06]: The only person who calls him Taranis is Dooku in passing when he's not there.

[00:36:57] [SPEAKER_06]: And apart from that he's just Dooku.

[00:37:00] [SPEAKER_06]: I mean it's Jango.

[00:37:01] [SPEAKER_06]: I think I said Dooku.

[00:37:02] [SPEAKER_06]: Jango calls him Taranis.

[00:37:03] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[00:37:03] [SPEAKER_06]: I'm losing my fucking mind.

[00:37:05] [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.

[00:37:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Man who hired me was a man called Tyrannus.

[00:37:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:37:08] [SPEAKER_06]: Anyway, what on the nose?

[00:37:10] [SPEAKER_06]: Last time Sidious is apprentice with Darth Maul this time it's he's upgraded to a much older man.

[00:37:15] [SPEAKER_06]: It's always great to have an apprentice who's 20 years older than me.

[00:37:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah exactly.

[00:37:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Wait, wait, wait.

[00:37:20] [SPEAKER_02]: He was a Jedi.

[00:37:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:37:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Now he's a count.

[00:37:23] [SPEAKER_02]: He's got to be someone's fucking apprentice.

[00:37:25] [SPEAKER_02]: It's true.

[00:37:25] [SPEAKER_02]: He's also a count.

[00:37:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I guess that's different from...

[00:37:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:37:29] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.

[00:37:30] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean you think he'd get grandfathered in to being a Sith master.

[00:37:34] [SPEAKER_06]: I think we would be mad about this more if Chris really wasn't so good.

[00:37:37] [SPEAKER_06]: We're just like, oh he's the villain.

[00:37:39] [SPEAKER_06]: We get it.

[00:37:39] [SPEAKER_02]: His reaction shots are so good.

[00:37:41] [SPEAKER_02]: He's reacting to nothing and he's so understated.

[00:37:43] [SPEAKER_06]: All right we have to move through past this droid bullshit.

[00:37:47] [SPEAKER_06]: But wait, what about C-3PO?

[00:37:49] [SPEAKER_06]: Okay right.

[00:37:50] [SPEAKER_06]: Getting his head swiped.

[00:37:51] [SPEAKER_04]: C-3PO gets his head put on a droid.

[00:37:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Because his machinery is clearly compatible.

[00:37:55] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah exactly.

[00:37:56] [SPEAKER_02]: It's all you need to do is go like zzz and then that's it.

[00:37:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Everyone uses the same UCB...

[00:38:00] [SPEAKER_02]: USB 2.0.

[00:38:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Fuck me.

[00:38:03] [SPEAKER_02]: UCB comedy!

[00:38:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Yay!

[00:38:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for hosting us.

[00:38:07] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just giving a speaking of a droid assembly line.

[00:38:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I found one of the jokes.

[00:38:11] [SPEAKER_05]: Oh great.

[00:38:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh good.

[00:38:13] [SPEAKER_05]: Joke Corner!

[00:38:14] [SPEAKER_05]: Yup it's joke corner.

[00:38:15] [SPEAKER_05]: So C-3PO is like, die Jedi dogs.

[00:38:19] [SPEAKER_05]: Oh what did I say?

[00:38:20] [SPEAKER_05]: Because he's wearing the other robot's body.

[00:38:23] [SPEAKER_05]: That's true.

[00:38:23] [SPEAKER_05]: There's that moment.

[00:38:23] [SPEAKER_05]: He gets confused.

[00:38:24] [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah right.

[00:38:25] [SPEAKER_06]: He's shooting but he's also C-3PO.

[00:38:27] [SPEAKER_05]: Now that's classic comedy.

[00:38:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:38:29] [SPEAKER_04]: But also his head is separate too and also C-3PO a little bit.

[00:38:34] [SPEAKER_04]: He's half and half.

[00:38:35] [SPEAKER_04]: He's half and half.

[00:38:36] [SPEAKER_04]: His head falls off in there both hands.

[00:38:38] [SPEAKER_02]: His head falls off, he's looking for the head.

[00:38:40] [SPEAKER_02]: He wanders into the perfect spot so that the assembly line which is automated to

[00:38:44] [SPEAKER_02]: only drop heads at a certain point will drop his head at that moment, give him a bow

[00:38:48] [SPEAKER_02]: droid head then it picks up his head and places it on a battle droid.

[00:38:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:38:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Because his head did it fall into a bucket of heads?

[00:38:58] [SPEAKER_04]: It fell into a head bucket.

[00:38:59] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah that's right.

[00:39:01] [SPEAKER_02]: So now there's a battle droid that thinks it's C-3PO and a C-3PO that thinks it's a battle

[00:39:05] [SPEAKER_02]: droid.

[00:39:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Kind of.

[00:39:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Sort of.

[00:39:07] [SPEAKER_06]: It's sort of like the Jar Jar thing in episode one where it's like they kind of fall over

[00:39:11] [SPEAKER_06]: but then they shoot someone, right?

[00:39:13] [SPEAKER_06]: Like it's sort of a lot of hilarious coincidence.

[00:39:15] [SPEAKER_02]: It's sort of like Face Off.

[00:39:16] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah it's a lot like Face Off.

[00:39:17] [SPEAKER_04]: It's basically exactly like Face Off.

[00:39:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Also let's build a lot of shitty clones.

[00:39:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:39:21] [SPEAKER_04]: Just as a plot.

[00:39:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[00:39:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Like why don't we build bad robots that are easy to beat?

[00:39:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[00:39:29] [SPEAKER_02]: That's why we need a clone army because the robots are too bad.

[00:39:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay so droid factory lines.

[00:39:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean they like suck at being robots.

[00:39:37] [SPEAKER_02]: They're terrible.

[00:39:38] [SPEAKER_06]: Oh they're the worst robots.

[00:39:38] [SPEAKER_06]: We haven't even got to the fact that on this, you know, the manner of execution

[00:39:44] [SPEAKER_06]: that they decide for anachronism.

[00:39:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay so they make it through the droid factory.

[00:39:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Yay we beat the level.

[00:39:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Let's lower the flag and rescue princess Peach.

[00:39:52] [SPEAKER_02]: And then they go nope we caught you.

[00:39:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Different series of bugs are like we got you.

[00:39:57] [SPEAKER_06]: And also Chanakun loses his lightsaber.

[00:39:59] [SPEAKER_02]: His lightsaber is cut in half.

[00:40:01] [SPEAKER_04]: More foreshadowing.

[00:40:03] [SPEAKER_04]: I wrote this line down too.

[00:40:04] [SPEAKER_04]: He goes after all that which is the most frightening experience of anyone's life I would think.

[00:40:09] [SPEAKER_04]: He loses his lightsaber and then he almost looks in the camera

[00:40:12] [SPEAKER_04]: and goes Obi-Wan is going to kill me.

[00:40:15] [SPEAKER_04]: That is right.

[00:40:15] [SPEAKER_02]: He also says not again.

[00:40:17] [SPEAKER_04]: Not again.

[00:40:18] [SPEAKER_04]: He keeps losing the lightsabers.

[00:40:21] [SPEAKER_03]: He's losing it.

[00:40:22] [SPEAKER_03]: So his lightsaber is cut in half.

[00:40:23] [SPEAKER_04]: So if he was a cop he'd be off the force.

[00:40:26] [SPEAKER_06]: So he's off the force.

[00:40:27] [SPEAKER_06]: You lost your gun again?

[00:40:29] [SPEAKER_06]: And you fell in love with your, you know, your person you were guarding.

[00:40:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay that's it Skywalker.

[00:40:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I want your lightsaber and your rat tail on my desk immediately.

[00:40:38] [SPEAKER_02]: What's Ben looking at?

[00:40:39] [SPEAKER_02]: He just like loaded porn.

[00:40:40] [SPEAKER_05]: No is it pop up.

[00:40:42] [SPEAKER_05]: It came up.

[00:40:43] [SPEAKER_05]: Guys we gotta get to glad you're fighting.

[00:40:45] [SPEAKER_05]: You guys do your job.

[00:40:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Save it for the fan fiction episode.

[00:40:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh boy you're right.

[00:40:51] [SPEAKER_02]: This isn't fan fiction.

[00:40:53] [SPEAKER_02]: They make it through the whole level.

[00:40:55] [SPEAKER_02]: This whole movie is fan fiction.

[00:40:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah exactly.

[00:40:57] [SPEAKER_02]: George Lucas is the biggest Star Wars fan in the world.

[00:41:00] [SPEAKER_02]: They make it through the whole level instead of getting the prize.

[00:41:03] [SPEAKER_02]: They beat the boss.

[00:41:04] [SPEAKER_02]: They beat the boss, they're chained up and they go come this way.

[00:41:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Sure.

[00:41:07] [SPEAKER_02]: And then they have this confession that we talked about before

[00:41:10] [SPEAKER_02]: where they had me finally admit that she loves him.

[00:41:12] [SPEAKER_02]: They're like what's going on?

[00:41:13] [SPEAKER_02]: They're in a chariot right?

[00:41:16] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah I guess it's and remember Nuke Gunray is always like how are we

[00:41:20] [SPEAKER_06]: gonna kill Padme.

[00:41:21] [SPEAKER_06]: He's really excited to kill Padme.

[00:41:23] [SPEAKER_06]: He really wants to kill Padme.

[00:41:24] [SPEAKER_02]: They're like we captured the senator and he's like oh boy give me a minute.

[00:41:28] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah right yeah they have the love we talked a lot about the love.

[00:41:31] [SPEAKER_06]: Last week was love.

[00:41:32] [SPEAKER_06]: Love the love.

[00:41:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah so good.

[00:41:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Well looks like our lives are about to end.

[00:41:37] [SPEAKER_02]: My life is already about to end.

[00:41:39] [SPEAKER_02]: What do you mean?

[00:41:40] [SPEAKER_02]: I love you but you said you couldn't love.

[00:41:42] [SPEAKER_02]: You said it would destroy our lives.

[00:41:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I think our lives are about to be destroyed.

[00:41:44] [SPEAKER_02]: It's just, it's just, you know, it's real, it's screwball pattern.

[00:41:49] [SPEAKER_02]: It just bounces between them like a you know.

[00:41:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Like a ping-pong ball.

[00:41:52] [SPEAKER_02]: The doors open up.

[00:41:53] [SPEAKER_02]: What it's an arena.

[00:41:55] [SPEAKER_06]: Oh and Duku and Django Fett and Nuke Gunray and some bug people are there.

[00:42:00] [SPEAKER_02]: All our old friends all in one place and all of the ones tied to a pillar.

[00:42:03] [SPEAKER_02]: What?

[00:42:04] [SPEAKER_04]: How much do you think tickets cost to that?

[00:42:06] [SPEAKER_02]: I think.

[00:42:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Eight bug coins.

[00:42:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Well this is my question.

[00:42:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Pogo the lesser has like armor.

[00:42:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Sure.

[00:42:16] [SPEAKER_02]: He's able to speak in sentences.

[00:42:17] [SPEAKER_02]: This is the leader of the bugs.

[00:42:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:42:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Everyone else seems to be of the same status.

[00:42:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Like everyone else seems to be like a worker and a warrior.

[00:42:22] [SPEAKER_02]: They're peasants, right.

[00:42:22] [SPEAKER_02]: They have no clothes.

[00:42:24] [SPEAKER_02]: They have no like armor or anything.

[00:42:26] [SPEAKER_02]: But they can fly.

[00:42:26] [SPEAKER_02]: But they can fly.

[00:42:27] [SPEAKER_02]: They can fly pretty good.

[00:42:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Which would be fine.

[00:42:28] [SPEAKER_02]: But everyone in the audience looks exactly the same.

[00:42:31] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah well it wasn't just kind of clip heart like her.

[00:42:34] [SPEAKER_04]: Can you imagine if you lost your bug wife?

[00:42:36] [SPEAKER_04]: You're like Debra.

[00:42:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Is that Debra?

[00:42:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Click.

[00:42:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Debra.

[00:42:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Click if you can hear me.

[00:42:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah Debra.

[00:42:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Ah you look just like my wife Debra.

[00:42:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Damn.

[00:42:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Do they regularly have these arena battles and do they just have a back log of humans?

[00:42:53] [SPEAKER_02]: They've got an arena for it.

[00:42:55] [SPEAKER_02]: So anytime a human lands on the plant they're like just throwing them in the fucker event.

[00:42:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah it's true.

[00:42:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Like the sport games that are in the back of that bar.

[00:43:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Springsteen is playing their robot football or whatever.

[00:43:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Billy Joel has got a residency.

[00:43:07] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah every Thursday night.

[00:43:08] [SPEAKER_06]: Billy Joel does his piano man routine.

[00:43:11] [SPEAKER_06]: And then they send monsters to eat him because they have Billy Joan clones.

[00:43:15] [SPEAKER_03]: Billy Joel clones.

[00:43:16] [SPEAKER_03]: Billy Joel clones.

[00:43:17] [SPEAKER_06]: Billy Joel clones.

[00:43:19] [SPEAKER_03]: Well that's the third one is going to be called attack of the turns.

[00:43:22] [SPEAKER_06]: What if on Kamino there's a building that just is Billy Joel.

[00:43:26] [SPEAKER_06]: They're just spewing out more Billy Joel's.

[00:43:29] [SPEAKER_03]: There's a scene.

[00:43:31] [SPEAKER_06]: What if Billy Joel had played Jango Fett?

[00:43:33] [SPEAKER_03]: Obi-Wan is amazing.

[00:43:35] [SPEAKER_03]: Obi-Wan is looking for the clones.

[00:43:37] [SPEAKER_02]: He opens the door and it just goes wrong door.

[00:43:42] [SPEAKER_02]: That would have been terrific.

[00:43:42] [SPEAKER_02]: He turns the camera and goes wrong door.

[00:43:44] [SPEAKER_06]: That would have been great.

[00:43:45] [SPEAKER_06]: All of that would have been great.

[00:43:46] [SPEAKER_06]: It would have won 10 Oscars if that had happened.

[00:43:48] [SPEAKER_06]: My love.

[00:43:49] [SPEAKER_06]: Just that one scene was included.

[00:43:51] [SPEAKER_06]: Don't go in there.

[00:43:53] [SPEAKER_06]: Anyway, yeah they are tied to pillars.

[00:43:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm saying is this a big day for them because they've had three humans land on the plant.

[00:43:59] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a packed house.

[00:44:00] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a packed house.

[00:44:00] [SPEAKER_02]: But I'm saying who are they usually killing?

[00:44:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Are they killing their own?

[00:44:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Is it a special occasion that they have humans?

[00:44:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Do they only get to do this when there are humans?

[00:44:08] [SPEAKER_02]: What's the structure?

[00:44:09] [SPEAKER_04]: I think it's bug fighting.

[00:44:10] [SPEAKER_04]: I think usually it's bug fighting.

[00:44:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Big bug fight.

[00:44:13] [SPEAKER_06]: You know what I think it is?

[00:44:14] [SPEAKER_06]: I think it's just another level in this video game that we're talking about.

[00:44:17] [SPEAKER_06]: That's the whole problem.

[00:44:18] [SPEAKER_06]: It's like oh, the pillars and some monsters are going to attack them.

[00:44:21] [SPEAKER_06]: They could just literally just bang, bang, bang.

[00:44:24] [SPEAKER_06]: This is like that problem solved.

[00:44:26] [SPEAKER_02]: The problem is your level where you have to be 80 on them.

[00:44:28] [SPEAKER_02]: So first this is a bunch of-

[00:44:29] [SPEAKER_04]: I hope you guys at home know that David just made a gun with his hand.

[00:44:33] [SPEAKER_04]: Shot Morgan, hand grip and hand gun.

[00:44:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Right, that's what that was.

[00:44:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Some of our classic Gryffindade presents a physical play.

[00:44:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Like the time I kept on putting my hand on David's arm to show how physically intimate had me in the beginning.

[00:44:45] [SPEAKER_02]: In the romance episode.

[00:44:47] [SPEAKER_06]: That was great.

[00:44:48] [SPEAKER_02]: That was a great episode.

[00:44:49] [SPEAKER_04]: It was a great episode.

[00:44:50] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a bottle episode.

[00:44:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Every episode is a box episode.

[00:44:55] [SPEAKER_02]: We're cord in a bottle.

[00:44:57] [SPEAKER_02]: I hate this sequence.

[00:44:58] [SPEAKER_02]: They're fighting the animals.

[00:44:59] [SPEAKER_02]: So we got a reek.

[00:45:01] [SPEAKER_02]: We got an acle.

[00:45:02] [SPEAKER_02]: We have a nexu.

[00:45:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[00:45:04] [SPEAKER_02]: These all have names.

[00:45:05] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, they all have names.

[00:45:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Are they all from that planet?

[00:45:08] [SPEAKER_06]: Who knows.

[00:45:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Unclear.

[00:45:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Should we look it up?

[00:45:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Should we go to Wikipedia?

[00:45:11] [SPEAKER_06]: So the reek is the one with kind of like horns.

[00:45:13] [SPEAKER_06]: He's the Rhino-E one.

[00:45:14] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, and then there's one that's sort of like a little cat.

[00:45:17] [SPEAKER_06]: I like that one.

[00:45:17] [SPEAKER_06]: I believe that's the nexu.

[00:45:18] [SPEAKER_06]: That's probably the best one.

[00:45:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Then what's the third one?

[00:45:20] [SPEAKER_02]: The acle is the spider.

[00:45:22] [SPEAKER_02]: He looks like the spider from Gremlins 2.

[00:45:24] [SPEAKER_04]: It's like if a spider and a praying mantis did it.

[00:45:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Right, it has kind of like spiky feet and stuff.

[00:45:30] [SPEAKER_04]: That one's the least interesting.

[00:45:31] [SPEAKER_04]: And it has a Venus fly trap for a face.

[00:45:33] [SPEAKER_02]: He looks like if a spider was a bug.

[00:45:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, gotcha.

[00:45:37] [SPEAKER_02]: Perfect.

[00:45:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, if a spider was a bug.

[00:45:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean, nothing more than a man.

[00:45:40] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, if a spider was a bug.

[00:45:42] [SPEAKER_06]: So again, Count Dooku is there watching?

[00:45:45] [SPEAKER_06]: Everyone's there watching?

[00:45:46] [SPEAKER_04]: I like that Count Dooku has the time for just like enjoyment.

[00:45:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Isn't he the leader of a government of planets?

[00:45:52] [SPEAKER_04]: It'd be like if Obama was at the Manny Pacquiao fight.

[00:45:55] [SPEAKER_04]: And it's like, and there's Obama.

[00:45:58] [SPEAKER_06]: And also if Manny Pacquiao had been fighting a giant praying mantis.

[00:46:01] [SPEAKER_06]: And it was a fight to the death.

[00:46:02] [SPEAKER_06]: In a way he was.

[00:46:06] [SPEAKER_06]: What happens in this scene Griffin?

[00:46:08] [SPEAKER_06]: I got the reeks page.

[00:46:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Well they're all tied up.

[00:46:11] [SPEAKER_04]: They're all tied up to the pillars.

[00:46:13] [SPEAKER_04]: With chains, with normal chains that you'd get it.

[00:46:15] [SPEAKER_04]: With loose chains.

[00:46:16] [SPEAKER_04]: If a chain is anything, it's loose.

[00:46:18] [SPEAKER_04]: It's real loose.

[00:46:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay wait, this is very interesting.

[00:46:22] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't think it is.

[00:46:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Reeks were herbivores by nature.

[00:46:26] [SPEAKER_02]: But they were often fed meat for exhibition sport and executions.

[00:46:29] [SPEAKER_02]: This turned their leathery skin a dark red and made the reeks more aggressive.

[00:46:34] [SPEAKER_04]: See this just goes to show my theory that I think Star Wars needs like black fish style documentaries.

[00:46:42] [SPEAKER_04]: About all of this stuff?

[00:46:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Reeks could not thrive on meat so they were given just enough plant matter to keep them happy.

[00:46:49] [SPEAKER_02]: So reeks, like the reek, giving a reek meat is like turning it into the Hulk.

[00:46:54] [SPEAKER_02]: We're saying reek a lot.

[00:46:55] [SPEAKER_02]: They're usually brown.

[00:46:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Is it like the red reek we know this is a, this is amped up.

[00:46:58] [SPEAKER_02]: The reek doesn't even know what it's doing.

[00:47:00] [SPEAKER_02]: This reek is going crazy on meat.

[00:47:01] [SPEAKER_06]: Is it like in Super Mario World when you jump on the caterpillar, it gets red and starts, yeah.

[00:47:06] [SPEAKER_06]: It's hat falls off.

[00:47:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Right so you give it meat that it doesn't even want to eat meat.

[00:47:10] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not even nourishment.

[00:47:11] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not even energy.

[00:47:12] [SPEAKER_02]: You give it some meat and you go fucking kill Obi-Wan and it goes crazy.

[00:47:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Reeks a good guy.

[00:47:18] [SPEAKER_06]: Alright, that's enough.

[00:47:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I like the reek.

[00:47:21] [SPEAKER_04]: Reeks in the wild can survive up to 150 years but in captivity it's only about 30 years.

[00:47:26] [SPEAKER_04]: And they're like thin goes down.

[00:47:28] [SPEAKER_06]: We're on the same page here.

[00:47:31] [SPEAKER_06]: Reeks are great.

[00:47:31] [SPEAKER_04]: I do like when the cat, I like the instant justice in Star Wars for kids obviously but like when

[00:47:36] [SPEAKER_04]: it's like someone prods them with a lightning stick.

[00:47:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah and the cat just kills them because you know you go oh that's so sad for the cat

[00:47:44] [SPEAKER_04]: and then you go oh that's great for the cat.

[00:47:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh.

[00:47:47] [SPEAKER_06]: But then remember these three animals are all murdered.

[00:47:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:47:51] [SPEAKER_06]: What happens to the reek?

[00:47:53] [SPEAKER_06]: Does he get shot?

[00:47:54] [SPEAKER_06]: What Obi-Wan rides one of them.

[00:47:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Anakin uses his chain to turn into a leash.

[00:47:59] [SPEAKER_06]: The cat like rips Padme's jumpsuit so we can see her tummy more and gives her like a scratch.

[00:48:06] [SPEAKER_06]: Love that tummy.

[00:48:08] [SPEAKER_02]: They're two really good jokes we missed.

[00:48:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Are they?

[00:48:11] [SPEAKER_02]: They're all chained to these pillars.

[00:48:12] [SPEAKER_02]: And Obi-Wan's like I was wondering why you were like and Anakin's like I did what

[00:48:17] [SPEAKER_02]: you told me to I resubmitted your message I retransmit the Jedi council.

[00:48:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Shut up.

[00:48:21] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's like what are you doing here and he's like I felt like coming to rescue you.

[00:48:25] [SPEAKER_02]: He's like nice job well we're gonna have to work to survive this and he goes what about Padme

[00:48:29] [SPEAKER_02]: and then Obi-Wan goes I think she's on top of it and you cut to Padme's on top of the pillar.

[00:48:36] [SPEAKER_02]: You don't cut to you wipe too.

[00:48:37] [SPEAKER_03]: You wipe too?

[00:48:38] [SPEAKER_03]: He wipes with his scenes.

[00:48:41] [SPEAKER_03]: With his scenes.

[00:48:41] [SPEAKER_03]: Two other coverage of the same actions in this movie.

[00:48:46] [SPEAKER_03]: Everyone should do an edit where every cuts a leg.

[00:48:49] [SPEAKER_06]: Even like two shots of just them.

[00:48:52] [SPEAKER_06]: The back and forth separation.

[00:48:54] [SPEAKER_06]: Like windshield wipers.

[00:48:56] [SPEAKER_06]: Wiped in opposite direction.

[00:48:58] [SPEAKER_06]: Exactly.

[00:49:00] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah so Padme gets on the pillar I mean Obi-Wan uses the chink.

[00:49:05] [SPEAKER_06]: She's got a bobby pin.

[00:49:06] [SPEAKER_02]: So she's fucking undoing the cuffs.

[00:49:08] [SPEAKER_04]: She swings down and kicks the cat with her feet.

[00:49:13] [SPEAKER_02]: The cat scratches her back in a way that completely removes all the jumpsuit material around her midriff.

[00:49:20] [SPEAKER_06]: Which is made out of earth cotton.

[00:49:23] [SPEAKER_06]: And leaves very superficial scars even though it had just murdered someone.

[00:49:28] [SPEAKER_02]: But only on her back so that her front still looks fuck up.

[00:49:31] [SPEAKER_02]: It's important that her front is undamaged.

[00:49:35] [SPEAKER_04]: But you'd love to do it from behind and look at that scar.

[00:49:39] [SPEAKER_02]: That's for adults.

[00:49:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm saying the fronts for kids, the backs for adults.

[00:49:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Obi-Wan rides the reek?

[00:49:44] [SPEAKER_02]: No Obi-Wan is attacking the acle.

[00:49:45] [SPEAKER_02]: He's out riding one.

[00:49:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Obi-Wan is trying to spear the acle.

[00:49:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Padme is fighting the necksuit.

[00:49:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Is it Anakin who rides?

[00:49:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Anakin's riding around.

[00:49:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Using the chains.

[00:49:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Is John Carter from Mars in it?

[00:49:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:49:56] [SPEAKER_04]: With a big sword?

[00:49:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[00:49:59] [SPEAKER_02]: So then like the Nemoideans are like,

[00:50:01] [SPEAKER_02]: No come on kill Padme why is he taking so long?

[00:50:05] [SPEAKER_05]: Right yeah they don't think it's legal.

[00:50:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Do time do time.

[00:50:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Also like you got everyone there let them enjoy the fight.

[00:50:11] [SPEAKER_06]: This is way better than them just getting eaten.

[00:50:13] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah for sure.

[00:50:14] [SPEAKER_06]: This is a money's worth.

[00:50:16] [SPEAKER_04]: They've got snacks to sell.

[00:50:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Bugs.

[00:50:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Bugs.

[00:50:19] [SPEAKER_02]: But they're like beating the animals.

[00:50:21] [SPEAKER_02]: So it's like oh fuck send in send in the run.

[00:50:24] [SPEAKER_02]: So they send in the battle droids right?

[00:50:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:50:26] [SPEAKER_02]: They send in some battle droids including C3P droid.

[00:50:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah and also these new battle droids are like really big.

[00:50:32] [SPEAKER_02]: There's no quality control.

[00:50:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah those are super battle droids.

[00:50:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah super battle droids.

[00:50:36] [SPEAKER_04]: Super battle droids.

[00:50:36] [SPEAKER_04]: That's what they call it.

[00:50:38] [SPEAKER_04]: They're just like that one's fine.

[00:50:40] [SPEAKER_04]: That one's fine.

[00:50:41] [SPEAKER_04]: That one's got a weird head.

[00:50:42] [SPEAKER_04]: He's fine.

[00:50:43] [SPEAKER_02]: That one's fine.

[00:50:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Must be a new kind.

[00:50:45] [SPEAKER_02]: So those two are doing their routine

[00:50:47] [SPEAKER_02]: and now the battle droid is like oh I am I so fussy

[00:50:50] [SPEAKER_02]: all of a sudden.

[00:50:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:50:51] [SPEAKER_02]: And C3P was like kill the jet.

[00:50:53] [SPEAKER_06]: What am I saying?

[00:50:54] [SPEAKER_06]: Well you're forgetting also that in the middle of this

[00:50:56] [SPEAKER_06]: Yoda drops down in an airship.

[00:50:59] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah not yet.

[00:51:00] [SPEAKER_06]: What?

[00:51:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Not yet.

[00:51:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Pretty sure this is already done.

[00:51:02] [SPEAKER_06]: Go on.

[00:51:03] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah no they start fighting.

[00:51:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Battle droids then we see a shadowy figure

[00:51:08] [SPEAKER_02]: walking through the corridors of the arena

[00:51:10] [SPEAKER_02]: and we're like what's this and Mace Windu comes up.

[00:51:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh that's right.

[00:51:13] [SPEAKER_02]: That's right.

[00:51:13] [SPEAKER_06]: And he activates his lightsaber which is purple.

[00:51:16] [SPEAKER_02]: Didn't know.

[00:51:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Crazy.

[00:51:18] [SPEAKER_02]: He's in the spectators box and they're like master windu

[00:51:21] [SPEAKER_02]: nice of you to join us and he goes this party's over.

[00:51:23] [SPEAKER_02]: He says this party's over.

[00:51:24] [SPEAKER_02]: Suddenly jet eyes rain from the sky.

[00:51:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Well yeah they swoop in.

[00:51:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Not yet.

[00:51:30] [SPEAKER_04]: On an aircraft carrier.

[00:51:31] [SPEAKER_02]: First it's just a bunch of jet eyes.

[00:51:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh first some jet eyes.

[00:51:33] [SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[00:51:33] [SPEAKER_04]: First it's just a bunch of fucking jet.

[00:51:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Kid fist talking Luminari and Deely.

[00:51:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Kara and Medi we're talking fucking Pluchlune.

[00:51:41] [SPEAKER_02]: The boys are back.

[00:51:44] [SPEAKER_02]: And they're not sitting down.

[00:51:46] [SPEAKER_02]: They're standing up.

[00:51:47] [SPEAKER_02]: They're fighting lightsaber and light crazy.

[00:51:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Jump jump jump.

[00:51:50] [SPEAKER_02]: It's kind of cool.

[00:51:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Using their fucking laser sword.

[00:51:53] [SPEAKER_04]: This would have been a great opportunity for all those

[00:51:54] [SPEAKER_04]: child jet eyes.

[00:51:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah right.

[00:51:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Some train who know how to lower the blind.

[00:52:03] [SPEAKER_04]: I've been teaching them to lower blinds.

[00:52:06] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not going to do a Yoda version.

[00:52:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Phantom Menace fans are a rabbit sort and a lot of people do

[00:52:12] [SPEAKER_02]: their own edits.

[00:52:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Haven't done the white bed yet but like for the first movie

[00:52:16] [SPEAKER_02]: there was a well-known edit called the Phantom Edit where

[00:52:19] [SPEAKER_02]: they cut out Jar Jar.

[00:52:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Right yeah I've seen this.

[00:52:21] [SPEAKER_02]: And like people say greatly improves the movie.

[00:52:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Right right.

[00:52:24] [SPEAKER_02]: And for the second one I had someone tell me like oh my

[00:52:26] [SPEAKER_02]: god you haven't seen like the rainbow edit.

[00:52:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.

[00:52:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Of Attack of the Clones and I was like no what's the rainbow

[00:52:31] [SPEAKER_02]: edit.

[00:52:31] [SPEAKER_02]: And he was like it improves the movie so much.

[00:52:34] [SPEAKER_02]: This was like right when the movie had come out.

[00:52:36] [SPEAKER_02]: It was like still in theaters and he was like you got

[00:52:37] [SPEAKER_02]: to fucking twirl.

[00:52:38] [SPEAKER_02]: What is it?

[00:52:38] [SPEAKER_02]: There's a rainbow edit.

[00:52:39] [SPEAKER_02]: The rainbow edit was and some people swear by it is just

[00:52:43] [SPEAKER_02]: in that final sequence not that final sequence.

[00:52:46] [SPEAKER_02]: In the big sequence where all the jet eyes land and

[00:52:47] [SPEAKER_02]: they're fighting in the arena all the lightsabers

[00:52:49] [SPEAKER_02]: are different colors.

[00:52:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Anyway moving on.

[00:52:53] [SPEAKER_04]: So that's the whole movie.

[00:52:54] [SPEAKER_02]: So it's just like green and blue.

[00:52:56] [SPEAKER_02]: And one purple.

[00:52:57] [SPEAKER_02]: And one purple it's like yellow, magenta, like all

[00:53:00] [SPEAKER_02]: these like perilinkle.

[00:53:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Moving on.

[00:53:03] [SPEAKER_02]: The rainbow light.

[00:53:03] [SPEAKER_02]: The Jedi have arrived.

[00:53:04] [SPEAKER_06]: I'm just right past that.

[00:53:06] [SPEAKER_06]: We're doing a whole episode just on the rainbow light.

[00:53:08] [SPEAKER_02]: The Jedi arrived they're fighting like crazy.

[00:53:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Dukku's like Jango go fucking.

[00:53:13] [SPEAKER_06]: Dukku finally sees like you know what this

[00:53:15] [SPEAKER_06]: might be slipping out of our hands a little bit.

[00:53:18] [SPEAKER_06]: This thing might be getting a little bit out

[00:53:20] [SPEAKER_02]: of control.

[00:53:22] [SPEAKER_06]: He goes off to God know he gets in a ship.

[00:53:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah well no he goes off to his back area.

[00:53:27] [SPEAKER_02]: He's like I'm gonna go back to my office.

[00:53:28] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah yeah he gets the plans.

[00:53:31] [SPEAKER_02]: But he gives but he gives yeah and he goes to

[00:53:32] [SPEAKER_04]: Jango he goes all take these.

[00:53:34] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah right and you're like you only have one copy

[00:53:37] [SPEAKER_04]: of the goddamn plan.

[00:53:38] [SPEAKER_04]: You don't have like a cloud you could put those in.

[00:53:40] [SPEAKER_04]: They're like hologram plans.

[00:53:41] [SPEAKER_04]: It's not like a physical document.

[00:53:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah he checks them he's like yep this is the one.

[00:53:44] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah perfect it comes from a clam.

[00:53:47] [SPEAKER_02]: He gets in a ship.

[00:53:50] [SPEAKER_02]: He sends Jango he goes Jango.

[00:53:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Jango lands like fucking shoots.

[00:53:55] [SPEAKER_02]: He shoots some things.

[00:53:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I think he shoots a creature.

[00:53:57] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay so the creature gets up on the balcony box right.

[00:54:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah that's right.

[00:54:00] [SPEAKER_02]: And Jango shoots it off the box.

[00:54:02] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a Jedi creature.

[00:54:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Shoots it then does the cowboy like spend his life.

[00:54:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah he's pretty cool.

[00:54:07] [SPEAKER_06]: Meanwhile like cool.

[00:54:08] [SPEAKER_06]: Meanwhile Obi-Wan is like you're so defensive.

[00:54:10] [SPEAKER_06]: He is cool.

[00:54:11] [SPEAKER_02]: He's cool.

[00:54:12] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he's pretty cool.

[00:54:13] [SPEAKER_06]: But this is important.

[00:54:13] [SPEAKER_06]: But this is the problem his end is maybe not the coolest.

[00:54:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Jango Fett set up as the deadliest killer.

[00:54:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Jango finally goes get on there on the ground floor

[00:54:20] [SPEAKER_02]: and fucking fight this battle.

[00:54:21] [SPEAKER_02]: True earn your money man.

[00:54:23] [SPEAKER_02]: He lands he turns around Mace Windu looks at him.

[00:54:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Slashes his head off.

[00:54:25] [SPEAKER_02]: It's pretty cool.

[00:54:26] [SPEAKER_06]: He comes he's shooting at Mace Windu.

[00:54:28] [SPEAKER_06]: Mace Windu is like block block and then he just

[00:54:30] [SPEAKER_06]: heads to run at Mace Windu which is probably sure jet packed

[00:54:33] [SPEAKER_06]: or something or Mace Windu just.

[00:54:35] [SPEAKER_04]: I think that George Lucas wrote this without an outline

[00:54:38] [SPEAKER_04]: and realized he had to like really start rapping shit.

[00:54:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah right right.

[00:54:41] [SPEAKER_04]: I really set this guy up but like there's no time.

[00:54:44] [SPEAKER_04]: Kelly A. has to be under 230 now.

[00:54:47] [SPEAKER_06]: Sam Jackson keeps saying like he wants to do something in this movie.

[00:54:51] [SPEAKER_06]: Maybe he can chop off his head.

[00:54:53] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah right.

[00:54:55] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he chops his head we talked a little bit about this Boba Fett

[00:54:57] [SPEAKER_06]: later picks up the head and amazingly his head doesn't fall

[00:55:01] [SPEAKER_06]: out of the helmet.

[00:55:02] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah right well they're tight helmets.

[00:55:03] [SPEAKER_06]: They're very tight.

[00:55:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay so at this point.

[00:55:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Not comfortable.

[00:55:05] [SPEAKER_02]: At this point Yoda our main man drops in.

[00:55:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[00:55:08] [SPEAKER_02]: On a ship with clones.

[00:55:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes and he says like you guys like put me down there you will.

[00:55:13] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he says I think around those Jedi perimeter create

[00:55:17] [SPEAKER_06]: something like that.

[00:55:18] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah that's exactly what he says.

[00:55:19] [SPEAKER_06]: Something like that.

[00:55:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Hey see that spot where he's fighting.

[00:55:23] [SPEAKER_04]: I want to be right there.

[00:55:25] [SPEAKER_06]: What a tactician you are.

[00:55:26] [SPEAKER_04]: You don't want to go to the stop by over there.

[00:55:28] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah you don't want to go check out the other side of the planet.

[00:55:31] [SPEAKER_04]: No put me there.

[00:55:32] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah put me down there.

[00:55:33] [SPEAKER_06]: So now.

[00:55:34] [SPEAKER_06]: So the clones come in they start shooting the battle droids I guess.

[00:55:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Right and Anakin and Obi Wan and Padme are like let's get on that ship.

[00:55:41] [SPEAKER_02]: They give chase.

[00:55:42] [SPEAKER_02]: They give chase to Dooku.

[00:55:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[00:55:44] [SPEAKER_06]: We're finally getting to the one like big thing in this movie.

[00:55:47] [SPEAKER_02]: So now more clones are coming to attack of the clones.

[00:55:50] [SPEAKER_02]: They're attacking.

[00:55:50] [SPEAKER_02]: The clones are landed.

[00:55:52] [SPEAKER_02]: They're on our side and the droids they're sending more and more battle droids out to

[00:55:55] [SPEAKER_02]: attack the clones and you're seeing like a war very quickly.

[00:55:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah it's the fastest escalation.

[00:56:00] [SPEAKER_02]: In an arena that's true.

[00:56:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Never before has a battle turned into a war within the span of five minutes.

[00:56:05] [SPEAKER_04]: It never has been so well contained.

[00:56:09] [SPEAKER_06]: It's true they did a nice job.

[00:56:11] [SPEAKER_06]: The planet will be unscathed.

[00:56:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Do you think is everyone still in the stands while this is happening?

[00:56:15] [SPEAKER_06]: I feel like this is the best show we've ever seen.

[00:56:18] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god it's the finale you guys.

[00:56:21] [SPEAKER_06]: In the middle of this we should know like C-3PO's head pops off or something R2 pops

[00:56:26] [SPEAKER_06]: it off and drags his head over his body.

[00:56:27] [SPEAKER_02]: No it pops off I think it's knocked off and then R2 picks it up with his little

[00:56:30] [SPEAKER_02]: he's got like a suction cup.

[00:56:32] [SPEAKER_02]: He's got like a metal suction cup thing.

[00:56:34] [SPEAKER_02]: And then C-3PO says what a drag.

[00:56:35] [SPEAKER_02]: And then he welds it back on to C-3PO's head.

[00:56:37] [SPEAKER_06]: He says what a drag.

[00:56:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Which raises the question if C-3PO's head can just pop off its body then what's

[00:56:43] [SPEAKER_04]: going on with everybody just knocking droid heads off.

[00:56:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah like well you know they're not alive.

[00:56:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Apparently you could just flick them and they would fall apart.

[00:56:52] [SPEAKER_06]: They're made of paper.

[00:56:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Best joke in the movie it's a supreme callback.

[00:56:56] [SPEAKER_02]: It's two callbacks in one.

[00:56:57] [SPEAKER_02]: What the fuck.

[00:56:58] [SPEAKER_02]: They're fighting and it can turn to Padme and he's like how are your

[00:57:02] [SPEAKER_02]: political democratic negotiations going?

[00:57:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Like he says like the joke based on her going like we'll fucking the

[00:57:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Senate whatever and then she goes I'd say this is more like aggressive

[00:57:13] [SPEAKER_02]: negotiations which is a callback to when he is cutting up the space pair

[00:57:19] [SPEAKER_02]: and he's like so we began aggressive negotiations and she's like what are

[00:57:22] [SPEAKER_02]: aggressive negotiations?

[00:57:23] [SPEAKER_02]: He's like negotiations with lightsabers.

[00:57:25] [SPEAKER_04]: Cause that's what they're doing.

[00:57:28] [SPEAKER_04]: I like that.

[00:57:29] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't think that's that funny.

[00:57:30] [SPEAKER_04]: Good comedy.

[00:57:31] [SPEAKER_04]: I think that's very cool.

[00:57:33] [SPEAKER_04]: I think it sucks.

[00:57:35] [SPEAKER_04]: I think it sucks.

[00:57:36] [SPEAKER_04]: To me that is cool.

[00:57:38] [SPEAKER_06]: Especially since it's like no no no this is like wars.

[00:57:42] [SPEAKER_06]: This is the beginning of a long and terrible war.

[00:57:45] [SPEAKER_06]: No it is.

[00:57:45] [SPEAKER_04]: It's just sort of like oh you'd cut well hey you remember that at

[00:57:49] [SPEAKER_04]: least.

[00:57:50] [SPEAKER_06]: But wait we have to talk about their they get in the ship

[00:57:53] [SPEAKER_06]: and they fly over to Dooku and that's when Obi-Wan and

[00:57:57] [SPEAKER_06]: Anakin have a fight about like should Padme be here?

[00:58:00] [SPEAKER_06]: What's the deal with you?

[00:58:01] [SPEAKER_06]: Padme by the way I'm noticing a lot of sparks flying and they

[00:58:04] [SPEAKER_06]: decide you know what let's just shove her out of the ship.

[00:58:07] [SPEAKER_06]: So they push her?

[00:58:09] [SPEAKER_06]: That's what they that's how they that's the agreement they

[00:58:12] [SPEAKER_06]: come to.

[00:58:12] [SPEAKER_06]: Onto the sand and you're like what the fuck.

[00:58:14] [SPEAKER_06]: Obi-Wan is like you're gonna be expelled from the Jedi

[00:58:17] [SPEAKER_06]: or...

[00:58:17] [SPEAKER_04]: All he wanted him to do was protect her.

[00:58:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah the whole movie.

[00:58:21] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah and then he's like wait you guys are friends?

[00:58:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Die!

[00:58:27] [SPEAKER_04]: I really I listen I really need you to take care of this

[00:58:30] [SPEAKER_04]: Padme girl and really protect her.

[00:58:32] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh you did that?

[00:58:34] [SPEAKER_04]: Kill her!

[00:58:34] [SPEAKER_04]: But this is her.

[00:58:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Shove her right out.

[00:58:36] [SPEAKER_02]: This is classic slut shaming.

[00:58:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh it's totally true.

[00:58:38] [SPEAKER_02]: He's the one who's acting in the wrong and she gets

[00:58:41] [SPEAKER_02]: punished for it.

[00:58:42] [SPEAKER_02]: She gets shoved out of a moving vehicle.

[00:58:44] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh god.

[00:58:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Shoved out of a moving vehicle.

[00:58:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Shoved out of a moving vehicle and you're like

[00:58:48] [SPEAKER_02]: if she dead and then very quickly George

[00:58:50] [SPEAKER_02]: sends a couple clone troopers.

[00:58:51] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah right she sort of rolls gently down the sand.

[00:58:53] [SPEAKER_02]: They go hey come with us over here.

[00:58:54] [SPEAKER_02]: They don't have to worry about her for the next 15 minutes.

[00:58:57] [SPEAKER_02]: And like finally we get to...

[00:58:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Secret layer.

[00:58:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Dooku's office.

[00:59:00] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah Dooku's office.

[00:59:01] [SPEAKER_06]: He's got a like a escape rocket that he's gonna get into.

[00:59:04] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[00:59:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Obi-Wan and Anakin.

[00:59:05] [SPEAKER_02]: It's awesome powers too.

[00:59:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.

[00:59:07] [SPEAKER_06]: Obi-Wan and Anakin.

[00:59:08] [SPEAKER_06]: His head is on the volcano.

[00:59:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Light saber battle.

[00:59:10] [SPEAKER_06]: Well okay well first they show up

[00:59:12] [SPEAKER_06]: and Obi-Wan's like hey get easy Anakin.

[00:59:15] [SPEAKER_06]: Anakin's like no.

[00:59:16] [SPEAKER_06]: I'm ready to really fucking rip him.

[00:59:18] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he got another lightsaber by the way.

[00:59:19] [SPEAKER_06]: Someone like tosses him a new lightsaber.

[00:59:21] [SPEAKER_06]: He's got two at one point.

[00:59:22] [SPEAKER_06]: Well he gets Obi-Wan.

[00:59:23] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah right yeah.

[00:59:24] [SPEAKER_06]: Cause he jumps right and then Dooku shits him with lightning.

[00:59:28] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah Obi-Wan goes no.

[00:59:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Where'd he get this lightsaber from?

[00:59:33] [SPEAKER_02]: He watched one of his friends die in the arena

[00:59:36] [SPEAKER_02]: and then fucking pickpocket at them.

[00:59:38] [SPEAKER_02]: No I think they just toss him.

[00:59:39] [SPEAKER_04]: He's got all that gold too now.

[00:59:41] [SPEAKER_03]: He's going...

[00:59:42] [SPEAKER_04]: He shows up with all those rings on in your hand.

[00:59:47] [SPEAKER_06]: But can we talk about the lightning?

[00:59:49] [SPEAKER_06]: Guys there's lightning.

[00:59:51] [SPEAKER_06]: Dooku shits lightning out of his hands.

[00:59:53] [SPEAKER_04]: That is very cool.

[00:59:54] [SPEAKER_02]: It's really it's crazy.

[00:59:55] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah it's a power heretofore unseen

[00:59:58] [SPEAKER_02]: in the Phantom of this Universe.

[01:00:00] [SPEAKER_02]: It must be like a dark power, dark force power.

[01:00:01] [SPEAKER_02]: Hey now I see the appeal of going to the dark side.

[01:00:04] [SPEAKER_06]: Lightning hands.

[01:00:04] [SPEAKER_04]: I understand the appeal completely.

[01:00:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah you're so intelligent.

[01:00:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Well they have better outfits.

[01:00:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Yep they do they have a little more style.

[01:00:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean like to me it's like I don't understand what's so wrong.

[01:00:15] [SPEAKER_04]: Like when when Anakin's talking to Padme about like

[01:00:19] [SPEAKER_04]: you know how a dictatorship might not be that bad.

[01:00:22] [SPEAKER_06]: You're just like nodding.

[01:00:23] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just like cool he sounds like you know I think

[01:00:26] [SPEAKER_04]: what's supposed to be Nazis or something.

[01:00:28] [SPEAKER_04]: It's way more like it's Lenin.

[01:00:29] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah it's just so you just need a strong hand

[01:00:32] [SPEAKER_06]: to keep everything in order.

[01:00:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Can one person tell you how to do things?

[01:00:36] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah I mean clearly you got bugs flying around everywhere

[01:00:38] [SPEAKER_04]: you need some order.

[01:00:40] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean this is a world that they're trying to protect

[01:00:43] [SPEAKER_04]: and they're having people torn apart by big bugs.

[01:00:46] [SPEAKER_04]: The Senate is doing a terrible job.

[01:00:47] [SPEAKER_04]: The Senate is definitely blown it.

[01:00:50] [SPEAKER_04]: There is no question.

[01:00:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Your argument is just wipe them out.

[01:00:52] [SPEAKER_04]: My argument is just like there are some countries

[01:00:55] [SPEAKER_04]: that need to be fucking you know.

[01:00:56] [SPEAKER_04]: And my country's between planets.

[01:00:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah right I'm talking in the alicorn.

[01:01:01] [SPEAKER_02]: You think certain countries should be.

[01:01:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Canada needs to be reigned the fucking.

[01:01:06] That's what I'm saying.

[01:01:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay so they're fighting.

[01:01:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Dooku's got lightning hands.

[01:01:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Anakin's got two lightsabers.

[01:01:13] [SPEAKER_06]: Well no first Dooku fights Obi-Wan for a second

[01:01:15] [SPEAKER_06]: and then he like smushes him under a thing

[01:01:17] [SPEAKER_06]: or something.

[01:01:17] [SPEAKER_06]: Get some trapped under a thing.

[01:01:18] [SPEAKER_06]: I don't even remember.

[01:01:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah he debris.

[01:01:22] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he like makes something fall on him.

[01:01:23] [SPEAKER_06]: He knocks a tower.

[01:01:24] [SPEAKER_06]: A pillar.

[01:01:25] [SPEAKER_02]: Tons of pillars.

[01:01:26] [SPEAKER_06]: And then so Anakin's back.

[01:01:28] [SPEAKER_06]: He's gonna kill Obi-Wan?

[01:01:30] [SPEAKER_06]: Yoda's there by the time that happens.

[01:01:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay I'm trying to remember the exact sequence of this.

[01:01:34] [SPEAKER_02]: So aren't Anakin and Obi-Wan knocked out

[01:01:37] [SPEAKER_02]: by the time that Yoda enters?

[01:01:38] [SPEAKER_06]: Yes they are incapacitated.

[01:01:40] [SPEAKER_06]: He chops Anakin's arms.

[01:01:42] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah Anakin fights Dooku for a second

[01:01:43] [SPEAKER_06]: and then he gets two swords.

[01:01:45] [SPEAKER_06]: And then Dooku gets one of them and then pushes him away.

[01:01:48] [SPEAKER_04]: He gets Obi-Wan a couple times.

[01:01:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Knicks him.

[01:01:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Which is enough to put him out.

[01:01:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Gives him a little shave.

[01:01:53] [SPEAKER_04]: And then he falls down and he's about to kill him.

[01:01:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Anakin gets up just in time.

[01:01:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Runs over, stops it.

[01:02:00] [SPEAKER_04]: And then Dooku's like oh that was very brave of you.

[01:02:03] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah fag.

[01:02:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Right?

[01:02:07] [SPEAKER_02]: And then those are the exact words.

[01:02:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Obi-Wan summons his shit back

[01:02:12] [SPEAKER_04]: and tosses it to Anakin who then has two.

[01:02:15] [SPEAKER_06]: Which is a brief, it's kind of cool

[01:02:17] [SPEAKER_06]: but yeah then he chops off his hands.

[01:02:19] [SPEAKER_06]: And then he only has one arm.

[01:02:20] [SPEAKER_06]: And he gets zapped over I guess.

[01:02:22] [SPEAKER_06]: And then Yoda shows up.

[01:02:24] [SPEAKER_06]: Little Yoda.

[01:02:25] [SPEAKER_02]: He's doing his little cane walk.

[01:02:26] [SPEAKER_06]: The movie is just like jacking off over this.

[01:02:29] [SPEAKER_04]: It's so excited Yoda just walking.

[01:02:31] [SPEAKER_04]: And this is the point when my girlfriend

[01:02:33] [SPEAKER_04]: realized that Yoda was really cute.

[01:02:36] [SPEAKER_04]: And did she say oh you're so cute?

[01:02:37] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh he's so tiny.

[01:02:39] [SPEAKER_04]: He's very small.

[01:02:40] [SPEAKER_04]: He's like one and a half feet tall.

[01:02:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah exactly.

[01:02:43] [SPEAKER_04]: He started talking though and I don't like that at all.

[01:02:47] [SPEAKER_02]: But she had seen...

[01:02:48] [SPEAKER_06]: The movie is literally like

[01:02:50] [SPEAKER_06]: they're talking and he shoots the lightning

[01:02:52] [SPEAKER_06]: and Yoda absorbs it.

[01:02:54] [SPEAKER_02]: They build it up.

[01:02:55] [SPEAKER_06]: And then he makes something move

[01:02:56] [SPEAKER_06]: and Yoda makes something and they're like alright.

[01:02:58] [SPEAKER_02]: This is my question for you folks.

[01:03:00] [SPEAKER_02]: At the time that I saw this film

[01:03:01] [SPEAKER_02]: in theaters opening day

[01:03:02] [SPEAKER_02]: I thought this was the single greatest scene

[01:03:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I'd ever seen in a movie.

[01:03:05] [SPEAKER_06]: It's pretty great.

[01:03:06] [SPEAKER_06]: When this scene happened in the cinema

[01:03:08] [SPEAKER_06]: it was pandemonium.

[01:03:10] [SPEAKER_06]: People just lost their minds.

[01:03:11] [SPEAKER_06]: I don't even remember what happened in the movie.

[01:03:13] [SPEAKER_06]: You could barely keep track of what was happening on screen

[01:03:15] [SPEAKER_04]: but everyone was just screaming.

[01:03:17] [SPEAKER_04]: There are literally applause breaks in the scene.

[01:03:19] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[01:03:20] [SPEAKER_06]: Because they go like

[01:03:21] [SPEAKER_06]: and then they stop for a second

[01:03:23] [SPEAKER_06]: and then...

[01:03:24] [SPEAKER_04]: I would say it's very cool

[01:03:25] [SPEAKER_04]: but it does seem totally pandering.

[01:03:28] [SPEAKER_04]: And re-watching it now every day

[01:03:30] [SPEAKER_04]: doesn't look like a lot.

[01:03:32] [SPEAKER_06]: It doesn't make a lot of sense.

[01:03:34] [SPEAKER_02]: This was the scene where I hit Cody and Molly

[01:03:36] [SPEAKER_02]: and told them to stop fingering each other

[01:03:38] [SPEAKER_02]: because they had to see what was happening on screen.

[01:03:40] [SPEAKER_02]: The third time I saw this movie in middle school

[01:03:42] [SPEAKER_02]: it was my two best friends who were dating

[01:03:44] [SPEAKER_02]: and they would have me essentially

[01:03:45] [SPEAKER_02]: shaper on them to movies

[01:03:46] [SPEAKER_02]: so their parents would let them hang out alone

[01:03:48] [SPEAKER_02]: and then they'd finger each other

[01:03:49] [SPEAKER_02]: and then I just have to sit

[01:03:50] [SPEAKER_02]: and watch a movie by myself.

[01:03:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:03:52] [SPEAKER_02]: But you tried to get them to pay attention to this

[01:03:54] [SPEAKER_02]: and apparently they had no reaction.

[01:03:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I know fingering is great

[01:03:55] [SPEAKER_02]: but you gotta watch this

[01:03:57] [SPEAKER_02]: and they were like fuck you.

[01:03:58] [SPEAKER_02]: They watched it and then were like

[01:03:59] [SPEAKER_02]: that was not worth

[01:04:00] [SPEAKER_02]: missing out on two minutes of fingering.

[01:04:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Which is probably worth that.

[01:04:04] [SPEAKER_06]: That's about what it's worth.

[01:04:06] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[01:04:06] [SPEAKER_06]: Two minutes.

[01:04:07] [SPEAKER_06]: I saw it whatever.

[01:04:10] [SPEAKER_06]: Opening night

[01:04:11] [SPEAKER_06]: and like everyone went crazy.

[01:04:13] [SPEAKER_06]: It just bananas.

[01:04:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Did we know this was going to happen?

[01:04:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Like had it been spoiled

[01:04:16] [SPEAKER_02]: or was this a total surprise?

[01:04:17] [SPEAKER_02]: That's what I couldn't remember.

[01:04:18] [SPEAKER_02]: It had not been spoiled.

[01:04:19] [SPEAKER_06]: There was no inkling that this was going to happen.

[01:04:20] [SPEAKER_06]: Because there's no promotion of it.

[01:04:22] [SPEAKER_06]: It's not in the trailers.

[01:04:23] [SPEAKER_04]: I remember when this came out

[01:04:24] [SPEAKER_04]: because I was 11 years old

[01:04:25] [SPEAKER_04]: and I had no idea what was happening.

[01:04:28] [SPEAKER_04]: The entire movie.

[01:04:29] [SPEAKER_04]: The movie makes no sense.

[01:04:29] [SPEAKER_04]: The movie is pretty dense dialogue

[01:04:31] [SPEAKER_04]: and then there's just really

[01:04:33] [SPEAKER_04]: nothing to it.

[01:04:33] [SPEAKER_06]: See I was older than you guys.

[01:04:35] [SPEAKER_06]: Which is really depressing.

[01:04:36] [SPEAKER_06]: So I was 16.

[01:04:38] [SPEAKER_06]: You were 16 when I came out?

[01:04:40] [SPEAKER_06]: 2002.

[01:04:40] [SPEAKER_04]: So you must have kind of understood some of it.

[01:04:43] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh yeah.

[01:04:44] [SPEAKER_04]: It was a track.

[01:04:44] [SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot of politics.

[01:04:46] [SPEAKER_06]: I don't know if I understood

[01:04:49] [SPEAKER_06]: the motivations at play.

[01:04:51] [SPEAKER_06]: I mean I got that the movie wanted to make sense.

[01:04:53] [SPEAKER_06]: We don't understand that now.

[01:04:54] [SPEAKER_06]: I'm just real dumb.

[01:04:57] [SPEAKER_06]: But he comes and it's like the movie

[01:04:59] [SPEAKER_06]: is like oh and he opens his cloak

[01:05:01] [SPEAKER_06]: and he gets out the blade.

[01:05:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yoda's got a lightsaber.

[01:05:04] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god.

[01:05:04] [SPEAKER_06]: It's green and his style of fighting

[01:05:07] [SPEAKER_06]: is basically bouncing around

[01:05:08] [SPEAKER_06]: off the walls and shit.

[01:05:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Once again like a video game.

[01:05:10] [SPEAKER_06]: He's flubber.

[01:05:12] [SPEAKER_03]: He's flubber.

[01:05:13] [SPEAKER_06]: That's exactly right.

[01:05:15] [SPEAKER_06]: And there's the thing.

[01:05:16] [SPEAKER_06]: Christopher Lee obviously can't

[01:05:18] [SPEAKER_06]: move around too much.

[01:05:19] [SPEAKER_06]: So he's basically just standing

[01:05:20] [SPEAKER_06]: and sort of going moving his arms around

[01:05:23] [SPEAKER_06]: because you know.

[01:05:24] [SPEAKER_06]: He's no man.

[01:05:25] [SPEAKER_06]: He's in a big green room somewhere.

[01:05:26] [SPEAKER_06]: And so Yoda's just kind of bouncing

[01:05:29] [SPEAKER_06]: around in correspondence to that.

[01:05:32] [SPEAKER_06]: It doesn't really flow.

[01:05:33] [SPEAKER_02]: It feels like Yoda only has

[01:05:36] [SPEAKER_02]: like Mortal Kombat special moves.

[01:05:38] [SPEAKER_02]: It feels like he's showy.

[01:05:39] [SPEAKER_02]: He's a little showy.

[01:05:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Yoda I feel like would be the least showy.

[01:05:44] [SPEAKER_04]: And instead I'm like watching it

[01:05:46] [SPEAKER_04]: and he's like he didn't need to flip there.

[01:05:47] [SPEAKER_04]: He's doing a lot of flipping.

[01:05:49] [SPEAKER_02]: I know he's going to make up for the lack of height

[01:05:50] [SPEAKER_02]: but he's doing like backflips and spins.

[01:05:53] [SPEAKER_02]: And he's going like

[01:05:55] [SPEAKER_02]: he's like yelling the whole time.

[01:05:56] [SPEAKER_06]: He's fighting like a figure skater.

[01:05:58] [SPEAKER_06]: The whole thing where he like

[01:06:00] [SPEAKER_06]: limps up and he's got his cane

[01:06:01] [SPEAKER_06]: and then he reveals like oh no I could just be bouncing

[01:06:03] [SPEAKER_06]: all the time.

[01:06:04] [SPEAKER_02]: It's classic Wonka.

[01:06:05] [SPEAKER_02]: It's original Wonka where you think

[01:06:07] [SPEAKER_02]: oh no it's like he's fucking

[01:06:09] [SPEAKER_06]: You're saying Yoda is like Jean Wilder reborn?

[01:06:12] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:06:12] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[01:06:13] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean he's my second favorite actor of all time.

[01:06:14] [SPEAKER_04]: I would say Whispy Hare.

[01:06:15] [SPEAKER_04]: Yep.

[01:06:16] [SPEAKER_04]: And General Bemeanor.

[01:06:17] [SPEAKER_04]: That's true.

[01:06:17] [SPEAKER_02]: He was also married to Gilda Radner briefly.

[01:06:19] That's true.

[01:06:20] [SPEAKER_06]: Yoda and Gilda Radner they were a couple.

[01:06:21] [SPEAKER_06]: They were so good.

[01:06:23] [SPEAKER_06]: That was when Yoda was in his early 900s.

[01:06:25] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[01:06:26] [SPEAKER_06]: Sorry.

[01:06:28] [SPEAKER_06]: Yes that happens.

[01:06:29] [SPEAKER_06]: But that's sort of a that's a draw.

[01:06:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Well no remember he goes,

[01:06:33] [SPEAKER_04]: well what happens to me was really funny is

[01:06:35] [SPEAKER_04]: they each try to show off their force power.

[01:06:37] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.

[01:06:38] [SPEAKER_04]: And then he goes like oh I know how we have to settle this.

[01:06:42] [SPEAKER_04]: A sword fight.

[01:06:43] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah he's like our skills with a lightsaber.

[01:06:45] [SPEAKER_04]: And you're like why?

[01:06:47] [SPEAKER_04]: A laser rapier.

[01:06:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[01:06:49] [SPEAKER_06]: And it's also it is funny because they're like oh yeah right

[01:06:52] [SPEAKER_06]: lightsabers.

[01:06:53] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[01:06:53] [SPEAKER_06]: We do that.

[01:06:54] [SPEAKER_06]: Which is great.

[01:06:55] [SPEAKER_04]: But yeah so then what happens is

[01:06:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Jugu runs away.

[01:06:58] [SPEAKER_04]: He just books it?

[01:06:59] [SPEAKER_04]: But before he gets on a plane.

[01:07:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Well I remember that part.

[01:07:02] [SPEAKER_04]: Hops on his G5 and he knocks over that pillar.

[01:07:05] [SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[01:07:05] [SPEAKER_04]: And he distracts Yoda.

[01:07:06] [SPEAKER_04]: His whole game is pillars.

[01:07:07] [SPEAKER_04]: He's got one move.

[01:07:08] [SPEAKER_04]: So Yoda has to stop the pillar or chase him.

[01:07:12] [SPEAKER_04]: He chooses to stop the pillar.

[01:07:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Good choice probably.

[01:07:15] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[01:07:16] [SPEAKER_04]: Because they're setting up a third movie.

[01:07:18] [SPEAKER_06]: And also I think Yoda just wants it to be like

[01:07:20] [SPEAKER_06]: you know we were equal.

[01:07:22] [SPEAKER_02]: You know.

[01:07:22] [SPEAKER_02]: We don't know.

[01:07:23] [SPEAKER_02]: Yoda doesn't want to kill anybody.

[01:07:24] [SPEAKER_02]: But he picks up his cane and he just pretends like he can't walk again.

[01:07:29] [SPEAKER_02]: And like Anakin will be on wake up and they're like what happened?

[01:07:31] [SPEAKER_02]: He was like oh nothing.

[01:07:32] [SPEAKER_02]: That's why he's walking.

[01:07:33] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.

[01:07:33] [SPEAKER_06]: And this is the thing.

[01:07:34] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah right.

[01:07:35] [SPEAKER_06]: I just got that too.

[01:07:36] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[01:07:37] [SPEAKER_06]: But this is the thing.

[01:07:38] [SPEAKER_06]: And then guess what happens.

[01:07:39] [SPEAKER_06]: The movie's over.

[01:07:40] [SPEAKER_06]: The end.

[01:07:41] [SPEAKER_06]: No.

[01:07:41] [SPEAKER_06]: Two big things happen.

[01:07:42] [SPEAKER_06]: Anakin and thingy get married.

[01:07:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[01:07:44] [SPEAKER_06]: You have to go to Tuscany.

[01:07:45] [SPEAKER_06]: And then Yoda says.

[01:07:46] [SPEAKER_02]: They go back to Tuscany and he puts on a robot arm.

[01:07:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Yoda says begun the Clone Wars half.

[01:07:52] [SPEAKER_06]: I think he says begun this Clone War has.

[01:07:54] [SPEAKER_04]: And you're like at the end.

[01:07:57] [SPEAKER_02]: But what a fucking good setup for a third movie.

[01:07:59] [SPEAKER_02]: The third movie is.

[01:08:00] [SPEAKER_02]: The Clone Wars.

[01:08:01] [SPEAKER_02]: You assume the third movie would just be called Star Wars Episode 3, The Clone Wars.

[01:08:04] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[01:08:05] [SPEAKER_02]: And it would just be fucking three hours of like the movies.

[01:08:08] [SPEAKER_02]: The franchise is called Star Wars.

[01:08:11] [SPEAKER_02]: It's true.

[01:08:11] [SPEAKER_02]: It's like in two movies.

[01:08:12] [SPEAKER_06]: Not Star Diplomatic Senate Negotiations.

[01:08:16] [SPEAKER_06]: Like not Star Subcommittee.

[01:08:18] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[01:08:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Star Tift.

[01:08:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[01:08:21] [SPEAKER_02]: Star Treaties.

[01:08:22] [SPEAKER_02]: It's fucking more teed up.

[01:08:24] [SPEAKER_02]: The ball is on the tee, but gun the war has.

[01:08:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh great.

[01:08:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Fucking I'm ready.

[01:08:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm rubbing my hands together.

[01:08:29] [SPEAKER_02]: You're acting by George Lucas.

[01:08:30] [SPEAKER_02]: No.

[01:08:31] [SPEAKER_02]: You get a wedding and then you get.

[01:08:33] [SPEAKER_04]: Well it always ends on a party or a celebration.

[01:08:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:08:36] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a bit of a somber.

[01:08:37] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a dour wedding.

[01:08:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:08:38] [SPEAKER_06]: If the first movie ends up this movie definitely ends down.

[01:08:42] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah.

[01:08:42] [SPEAKER_02]: The only people officiating.

[01:08:44] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know who's officiating.

[01:08:45] [SPEAKER_02]: But the only witnesses at the wedding are C-3PO and ArchGD2 who hate each other.

[01:08:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Why are they still spending time to get?

[01:08:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Look, I think gay marriage is legal in the whole galactic universe.

[01:08:53] [SPEAKER_04]: I think only with robots.

[01:08:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Or a certain planet.

[01:08:55] [SPEAKER_04]: Only with robots.

[01:08:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Only gay robot marriage.

[01:08:57] [SPEAKER_02]: My theory is that only gay marriage is legal.

[01:08:59] [SPEAKER_02]: And that's straight marriage is illegal.

[01:09:01] [SPEAKER_06]: Anakin and Padme are violating the law?

[01:09:03] [SPEAKER_06]: That's why they're on the DL.

[01:09:04] [SPEAKER_06]: We never see, we'll know.

[01:09:06] [SPEAKER_06]: Clegg Lars.

[01:09:06] [SPEAKER_06]: Clegg Lars and Shmi, that's the only marriage.

[01:09:08] [SPEAKER_06]: Do we know that that's legal?

[01:09:10] [SPEAKER_06]: No, we have no idea.

[01:09:10] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[01:09:11] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, it might not be valid on another planet.

[01:09:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:09:14] [SPEAKER_02]: My uncles got married two years ago but if you ask certain states they were only married

[01:09:18] [SPEAKER_02]: as of...

[01:09:19] [SPEAKER_02]: But not now thanks to the Supreme Court's...

[01:09:22] [SPEAKER_06]: Right, but I'm saying maybe this is like...

[01:09:24] [SPEAKER_06]: They've got to collect the Senate.

[01:09:25] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, what's it called?

[01:09:26] [SPEAKER_06]: Maybe Clegg Lars...

[01:09:27] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, that's what they're called.

[01:09:28] [SPEAKER_06]: You gotta re-heal that.

[01:09:29] [SPEAKER_02]: Maybe Clegg Lars and Shmi got married in like Massachusetts.

[01:09:33] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:09:33] [SPEAKER_06]: They got married in Space Massachusetts.

[01:09:35] [SPEAKER_06]: Right.

[01:09:35] [SPEAKER_06]: Space Massachusetts.

[01:09:35] [SPEAKER_06]: And then they went back to Mos Espa.

[01:09:39] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, Mos Espa which is like space Utah.

[01:09:41] [SPEAKER_02]: Right, they're like we know we're married even though the government here doesn't

[01:09:44] [SPEAKER_02]: recognize our marriage.

[01:09:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I think only gay people are allowed to get married.

[01:09:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Does Star Tours exist in your guys' universe?

[01:09:50] [SPEAKER_06]: No idea what you're talking about.

[01:09:51] [SPEAKER_06]: No idea the framing of that question but yeah, of course Star Tours exists.

[01:09:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Could you take a tour around the stars?

[01:09:56] [SPEAKER_02]: Great.

[01:09:56] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't understand.

[01:09:58] [SPEAKER_04]: You're using a lot of very weird lingo throughout this episode.

[01:10:01] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just trying to understand what you guys believe in.

[01:10:04] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, he's trying to understand like the limits of our...

[01:10:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Of our knowledge.

[01:10:08] [SPEAKER_02]: I believe that Lord Zeno...

[01:10:11] [SPEAKER_02]: He piled people in their C-fives on top of a volcano.

[01:10:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:10:15] [SPEAKER_02]: And then the Thetans were released.

[01:10:17] [SPEAKER_06]: But they don't say that to you in the Dianetics.

[01:10:18] [SPEAKER_06]: They just sort of say like how are you feeling?

[01:10:21] [SPEAKER_04]: It's shitty Freudian therapy.

[01:10:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Interesting.

[01:10:23] [SPEAKER_04]: But for five hours.

[01:10:24] [SPEAKER_06]: So you talk about yourself or do they ask you questions?

[01:10:26] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, they ask you questions and then they ask you the same questions.

[01:10:29] [SPEAKER_06]: Right, and they're trying to basically get at like the core.

[01:10:32] [SPEAKER_06]: It's kind of like one of those online personality tests.

[01:10:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but it's intense.

[01:10:36] [SPEAKER_04]: Like you have to do it all first person.

[01:10:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Your eyes are closed.

[01:10:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Your eyes are closed and you're hooked up to something.

[01:10:41] [SPEAKER_04]: You're hooked up to the can.

[01:10:42] [SPEAKER_04]: You're holding the can.

[01:10:43] [SPEAKER_04]: They walk...

[01:10:44] [SPEAKER_04]: It's very strange like they did it...

[01:10:47] [SPEAKER_04]: And this costs money.

[01:10:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it costs $125 for five hours of auditing which is great.

[01:10:52] [SPEAKER_04]: That's a good deal.

[01:10:54] [SPEAKER_04]: That's a Costco therapy.

[01:10:55] [SPEAKER_04]: But then they upsell you.

[01:10:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Level two is like 30 grand.

[01:10:59] [SPEAKER_02]: But you like therapy so much.

[01:11:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I once ran into you were selling your technique...

[01:11:04] [SPEAKER_06]: It's not therapy, it's Dianetics, right?

[01:11:05] [SPEAKER_06]: They don't like therapy.

[01:11:06] [SPEAKER_02]: But my point is you like therapy.

[01:11:08] [SPEAKER_02]: You are such a fan of therapy.

[01:11:09] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh I see, you like therapy.

[01:11:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I like yes.

[01:11:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I ran into you outside the 92nd Street Y.

[01:11:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Elaine May was publicly screening Ishtar.

[01:11:17] [SPEAKER_02]: It had not been released on Blu-ray or DVD at that point.

[01:11:21] [SPEAKER_02]: She was speaking after the movie.

[01:11:23] [SPEAKER_02]: It was the director's cutting screen for the first time.

[01:11:26] [SPEAKER_02]: You love Elaine May.

[01:11:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm a huge fan.

[01:11:28] [SPEAKER_02]: And you were like I'm selling my ticket because I got therapy.

[01:11:30] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah, right.

[01:11:31] [SPEAKER_02]: That's how important it is.

[01:11:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:11:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Like you didn't want to miss one session.

[01:11:34] [SPEAKER_02]: So Scientology is going hey for $125 you can have five hours of sitting down and talking to us.

[01:11:40] [SPEAKER_02]: Right.

[01:11:40] [SPEAKER_02]: That's like very alluring to you.

[01:11:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Like the most unqualified kid in his dad's suit.

[01:11:46] [SPEAKER_04]: What's a concept?

[01:11:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes you're not finding the best quality.

[01:11:48] [SPEAKER_06]: You're reading like Battlefield Earth and using it as his template.

[01:11:51] [SPEAKER_04]: I will say it was fun though because it's kind of hypnosis.

[01:11:53] [SPEAKER_04]: The first of all they go it's not hypnosis.

[01:11:55] [SPEAKER_04]: Now close your eyes.

[01:11:56] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to count backwards to 10.

[01:11:58] [SPEAKER_04]: And then they're like so tell me about when your dog died, you know, and you like close

[01:12:02] [SPEAKER_04]: your eyes and you're like alright so I'm walking down a hallway.

[01:12:05] [SPEAKER_04]: Interesting.

[01:12:06] [SPEAKER_04]: I see this is what I see.

[01:12:08] [SPEAKER_04]: And then they go great so take me back again and we're going to start from the top

[01:12:11] [SPEAKER_04]: and try to collect any additional data that you can collect.

[01:12:13] [SPEAKER_04]: It's like very calming.

[01:12:15] [SPEAKER_04]: And then you do it again.

[01:12:15] [SPEAKER_04]: So cool.

[01:12:16] [SPEAKER_04]: And then three hours later you're like I said it all but there's this weird moment where

[01:12:20] [SPEAKER_04]: you kind of break through and you're like I feel like I'm there.

[01:12:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Like it's a weird hypnosis thing.

[01:12:25] [SPEAKER_04]: It's totally not.

[01:12:26] [SPEAKER_04]: They call it exteriorization.

[01:12:27] [SPEAKER_04]: It's not real.

[01:12:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Interesting.

[01:12:29] [SPEAKER_04]: But it's cool.

[01:12:30] [SPEAKER_04]: It was fun.

[01:12:31] [SPEAKER_04]: I wouldn't suggest going though because they call me every day and I block all

[01:12:34] [SPEAKER_04]: their numbers and they keep getting new numbers.

[01:12:36] [SPEAKER_04]: And then the other day I open an envelope and it had a letter in it to me.

[01:12:40] [SPEAKER_04]: I get a ton of their like you know come to the flag.

[01:12:44] [SPEAKER_04]: But I got a letter and I open it up and it just said dear Morgan would you like more

[01:12:48] [SPEAKER_04]: dianetic auditing?

[01:12:50] [SPEAKER_04]: That's it.

[01:12:51] [SPEAKER_04]: That's it.

[01:12:52] [SPEAKER_04]: That's all the letters.

[01:12:53] [SPEAKER_04]: It's pretty creepy.

[01:12:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Was it signed by anybody?

[01:12:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[01:12:55] [SPEAKER_04]: But what if you from the executive director?

[01:12:57] [SPEAKER_06]: What happens if you just say like what about all that shit with Tom Cruise is

[01:13:01] [SPEAKER_06]: that for real?

[01:13:01] [SPEAKER_06]: Like like Xenia?

[01:13:02] [SPEAKER_06]: Like would they just talk over you?

[01:13:04] [SPEAKER_04]: They go like they literally go like well I'm like a smart guy.

[01:13:07] [SPEAKER_04]: You think I believe in aliens?

[01:13:08] [SPEAKER_06]: Wait so you asked them about that?

[01:13:10] [SPEAKER_06]: I went into it totally like.

[01:13:12] [SPEAKER_06]: They go like come on do you think I believe in aliens?

[01:13:14] [SPEAKER_06]: But I'd be doing this if it was about aliens.

[01:13:16] [SPEAKER_06]: But isn't that what they say and then at a certain point it just reverses?

[01:13:20] [SPEAKER_06]: At that point when you're like 15 years in.

[01:13:22] [SPEAKER_06]: And 1500 grand.

[01:13:24] [SPEAKER_04]: Well I was like they were like do you think I believe in aliens?

[01:13:26] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm like no but I know enough to that you guys think it causes

[01:13:29] [SPEAKER_04]: pneumonia if someone knows who hasn't had all the training up until that point.

[01:13:34] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[01:13:35] [SPEAKER_04]: And he's like I honestly don't know what you're talking about man.

[01:13:37] [SPEAKER_04]: But like how.

[01:13:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Just read this book.

[01:13:39] [SPEAKER_04]: You should read this book.

[01:13:39] [SPEAKER_04]: How deep is he?

[01:13:40] [SPEAKER_04]: He's not that deep.

[01:13:41] [SPEAKER_04]: He's been in it since the 60s the guy who brought me in.

[01:13:44] [SPEAKER_04]: What?

[01:13:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Was he raising it or is he an old man?

[01:13:47] [SPEAKER_04]: No he like saw Dianetics being sold on the street and like appreciates.

[01:13:51] [SPEAKER_04]: What he was telling me is like there's Scientology and then there's Dianetics.

[01:13:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Dianetics is like the therapy shit.

[01:13:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah and then so that's what he got in there.

[01:13:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Scientology is the space opera.

[01:13:59] [SPEAKER_04]: Right exactly.

[01:14:00] [SPEAKER_04]: And he was like you don't seem like you need communication skills.

[01:14:03] [SPEAKER_04]: You know because they were like what are you here?

[01:14:04] [SPEAKER_04]: What do you need?

[01:14:06] [SPEAKER_04]: What can we pray upon?

[01:14:08] [SPEAKER_04]: I was like I'm fine you know and they were like oh okay.

[01:14:11] [SPEAKER_04]: We'll do Dianetics then because it's like therapy.

[01:14:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Very weird but they don't they hate therapies.

[01:14:16] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah of course they don't call it that.

[01:14:17] [SPEAKER_06]: Anyway Tom Cruise will be our guest next week.

[01:14:20] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah thanks for having me.

[01:14:21] [SPEAKER_06]: Oh please thank you so much for doing this.

[01:14:22] [SPEAKER_06]: What if Tom Cruise is our guest?

[01:14:24] [SPEAKER_06]: What does Tom Cruise think of the Star Wars movies?

[01:14:25] [SPEAKER_06]: We should ask.

[01:14:26] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm sure he'd just say he likes them.

[01:14:27] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he'd be like great.

[01:14:29] [SPEAKER_06]: I have his number and I can call him.

[01:14:32] [SPEAKER_06]: He would shake so much that his head posted off his ears.

[01:14:35] [SPEAKER_02]: He's a positive man.

[01:14:36] [SPEAKER_06]: I'm really excited for Rogue Nation though.

[01:14:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah it looks right.

[01:14:38] [SPEAKER_06]: I think Rogue Nation is going to be fantastic.

[01:14:40] [SPEAKER_06]: It looks super cool.

[01:14:41] [SPEAKER_04]: You know it's crazy to me that he actually hung onto that plane.

[01:14:43] [SPEAKER_06]: Eight times.

[01:14:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Nuts.

[01:14:45] [SPEAKER_02]: Eight times they did that stunt.

[01:14:46] [SPEAKER_04]: So cool.

[01:14:46] [SPEAKER_02]: A famed blogger Jeffrey Wells posted a thing yesterday where he was like wait Tom Cruise was chained into that plane big deal.

[01:14:54] [SPEAKER_02]: Like he was like I thought the whole appeal of the stunt was that he was just holding on with his hand.

[01:14:57] [SPEAKER_02]: He was actually holding on.

[01:14:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god no way.

[01:14:59] [SPEAKER_02]: Cause they're using this advertising thing of like he really did it.

[01:15:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:15:02] [SPEAKER_02]: It's not CGI.

[01:15:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Of course he actually really did it.

[01:15:05] [SPEAKER_02]: Jeff Wells is like oh if he was chained in it's not that impressive.

[01:15:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Can you imagine if a bug hit your face while you were going that fast?

[01:15:10] [SPEAKER_04]: That's speed.

[01:15:11] [SPEAKER_02]: They had to give him glass like fucking contact lenses so his eyes were destroyed.

[01:15:17] [SPEAKER_02]: Like didn't fly out of his head and he's like well if there were chains attached it's not that impressive.

[01:15:22] [SPEAKER_02]: Jeffrey Wells.

[01:15:23] [SPEAKER_02]: What a shit.

[01:15:23] [SPEAKER_06]: Noted poop sucker Jeffrey Wells.

[01:15:26] [SPEAKER_06]: That means he sucks on poo.

[01:15:27] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah he sucks on poo.

[01:15:28] [SPEAKER_06]: Jeffrey Wells will be our guest next week.

[01:15:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah Jeffrey Wells and Tom Cruise will be our two guests next week.

[01:15:32] [SPEAKER_02]: And L. Ron Hubbard.

[01:15:33] [SPEAKER_02]: And L. Ron Hubbard.

[01:15:34] [SPEAKER_02]: Morgan thank you so much for being on the show.

[01:15:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Hey thanks for having me.

[01:15:36] [SPEAKER_06]: Anything you want to plug?

[01:15:37] [SPEAKER_04]: Morgan you have a new web series.

[01:15:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah I'm in an episode.

[01:15:42] [SPEAKER_02]: You're in an episode.

[01:15:43] [SPEAKER_06]: I'm not in any episodes.

[01:15:44] [SPEAKER_04]: A little embarrassing.

[01:15:46] [SPEAKER_04]: If you go to untitled.mtv.com you can watch that and my Twitter is at totallymorgan.

[01:15:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Without spoiling anything if you like romance as seen in Star Wars that's what I'm talking about.

[01:15:58] [SPEAKER_02]: If you're in the back of the clones you might like the episode we have together.

[01:16:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I like that.

[01:16:01] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a lot like that.

[01:16:02] [SPEAKER_02]: Similar levels of chemistry.

[01:16:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Palpable sexual heat.

[01:16:08] [SPEAKER_02]: Great.

[01:16:09] [SPEAKER_02]: And you're moving to LA next week and so we'll never see you again.

[01:16:13] [SPEAKER_02]: Pro-scientology plugs I don't know.

[01:16:14] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah totally.

[01:16:15] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah dynetics.

[01:16:15] [SPEAKER_02]: When will this come out?

[01:16:17] [SPEAKER_02]: You'll be in LA by the time right?

[01:16:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.

[01:16:19] [SPEAKER_02]: When are you moving?

[01:16:20] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm moving August 1st.

[01:16:21] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to drive across the country.

[01:16:23] [SPEAKER_04]: You're doing the drive.

[01:16:24] [SPEAKER_04]: I am yeah.

[01:16:25] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm excited.

[01:16:25] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to get rid of everything I have that won't fit in the car and do the drive.

[01:16:30] [SPEAKER_04]: Nice.

[01:16:30] [SPEAKER_04]: Crazy.

[01:16:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[01:16:31] [SPEAKER_04]: And then I'm going to write a book.

[01:16:33] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not going to write a book.

[01:16:34] [SPEAKER_02]: You'll have a lot of...

[01:16:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Well when you write that book you can come back on and plug the book.

[01:16:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah it'll be called On The Road.

[01:16:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Sounds good.

[01:16:41] [SPEAKER_04]: I recommend trying to get an attack on the road.

[01:16:45] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a factory that makes roads.

[01:16:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Roads building roads.

[01:16:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Now I've seen everything.

[01:16:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Prusa Band Final Thoughts?

[01:16:55] [SPEAKER_04]: How are those tits you were looking at earlier?

[01:16:57] [SPEAKER_04]: At one point I noticed a bunch of tits.

[01:17:01] [SPEAKER_04]: That was a pop up but I...

[01:17:04] [SPEAKER_04]: Did you click the link for that pop up?

[01:17:07] [SPEAKER_04]: No I did not.

[01:17:07] [SPEAKER_04]: How do you get a porn pop up these days?

[01:17:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Well when you search...

[01:17:10] [SPEAKER_04]: That is very true.

[01:17:11] [SPEAKER_04]: I haven't seen anything since I was like 14 years old.

[01:17:13] [SPEAKER_05]: ...Random Star Wars websites.

[01:17:15] [SPEAKER_05]: That's what's still there.

[01:17:16] [SPEAKER_04]: Trying to look up some TPO jokes.

[01:17:17] [SPEAKER_04]: Well that's kids on there.

[01:17:18] [SPEAKER_04]: So pop ups are for kids.

[01:17:20] [SPEAKER_04]: Pop ups are for kids.

[01:17:21] [SPEAKER_04]: They're like Char Char.

[01:17:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Me saying that scene now.

[01:17:25] [SPEAKER_05]: Final Thoughts.

[01:17:26] [SPEAKER_05]: Bug planets.

[01:17:27] [SPEAKER_05]: Kind of cool.

[01:17:28] [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.

[01:17:28] [SPEAKER_05]: So you kind of like this part of the movie?

[01:17:30] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah it was alright with that.

[01:17:31] [SPEAKER_06]: Ben confessed to me before we started recording that he barely remembers the movie at this point.

[01:17:34] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah it's slippery.

[01:17:36] [SPEAKER_06]: As we've said it's a slippery fucking movie.

[01:17:38] [SPEAKER_05]: It's like f5 and I'm really just checking out.

[01:17:41] [SPEAKER_06]: It's okay there's only five more of these to go.

[01:17:43] [SPEAKER_06]: We're at the halfway mark.

[01:17:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Right and then we're going to do one last Google search to make sure there's no other Star Wars movies.

[01:17:47] [SPEAKER_02]: Ben is taking a knife and slitting his wrist the long ways.

[01:17:51] [SPEAKER_06]: Ben is flashing back to some Dianetics that he had earlier.

[01:17:56] [SPEAKER_05]: Yep past lives and all that.

[01:17:57] [SPEAKER_05]: Alright well that's it for me.

[01:17:59] [SPEAKER_02]: And our question that we've been very specifically answering every episode is this a good sequel?

[01:18:06] [SPEAKER_02]: Oh yeah we really we've been hitting that note hard every week.

[01:18:09] [SPEAKER_02]: This third act stuff is it a good sequel?

[01:18:11] [SPEAKER_02]: Well in that it doesn't build off of anything set up in Phantom S.

[01:18:14] [SPEAKER_02]: It does perfectly set up a third movie.

[01:18:17] [SPEAKER_02]: It's a good I guess so.

[01:18:18] [SPEAKER_02]: So it's a good sequel in that it sets up a good sequel.

[01:18:21] [SPEAKER_06]: I guess so it sets up a war.

[01:18:23] [SPEAKER_06]: That sounds like a great sequel.

[01:18:24] [SPEAKER_04]: Can I say why I like it as a sequel?

[01:18:26] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah go ahead.

[01:18:27] [SPEAKER_04]: I think that maybe it's not a good traditional sequel.

[01:18:31] [SPEAKER_04]: To cut forward in time ten years is very original choice.

[01:18:35] [SPEAKER_04]: I think it's great if I think it's a I think it's another movie in the same universe.

[01:18:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Sort of part of an anthology.

[01:18:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly I think that's a cool way to do it.

[01:18:42] [SPEAKER_04]: I think there's a lot in between that you could say make a television show out of.

[01:18:45] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah I'm sure I've gone to Parts of the Network or something.

[01:18:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah and so.

[01:18:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Right you make the movies focused on the wars and you make the cartoon shows focused on the stuff that happens in between.

[01:18:54] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah sort of adventures Obi-Wan and Anakin.

[01:18:57] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah now had they made a third one.

[01:18:58] [SPEAKER_02]: But definitely we agree that the wars should constitute a film right?

[01:19:02] [SPEAKER_02]: All basic logic says that if you set up a fucking war then you should put that in a movie rather than a fucking cartoon show.

[01:19:09] [SPEAKER_02]: I think we got it Griffin.

[01:19:10] [SPEAKER_02]: Hypothetical.

[01:19:14] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah I mean maybe.

[01:19:16] [SPEAKER_04]: Probably.

[01:19:16] [SPEAKER_06]: Fucking terrible.

[01:19:23] [SPEAKER_04]: I think if it just came out alone and there were no other Star Wars movies.

[01:19:27] [SPEAKER_04]: That would be special.

[01:19:28] [SPEAKER_04]: I would be like this is amazing.

[01:19:29] [SPEAKER_04]: A lot of imagination.

[01:19:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah this is great.

[01:19:33] [SPEAKER_06]: I don't know why the green guy is suddenly jumping around or who he's supposed to be but this is great.

[01:19:38] [SPEAKER_04]: The guy who made American graffiti made this.

[01:19:40] [SPEAKER_02]: He took 25 years off and then made this movie.

[01:19:46] [SPEAKER_02]: Well thank you all for listening.

[01:19:48] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for being here Morgan.

[01:19:50] [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks Morgan.

[01:19:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for having me.

[01:19:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for tolerating this Ben.

[01:19:53] [SPEAKER_02]: Sure no problem.

[01:19:56] [SPEAKER_02]: And as always keep those negotiations aggressive.

[01:20:00] [SPEAKER_02]: Don't give Scientology any of your money.

[01:20:02] [SPEAKER_04]: For real don't do it.