Elizabethtown

[00:00:01] Blank Check with Griffin and David, Blank Check with Griffin and David

[00:00:09] Don't know what to say or to expect

[00:00:13] All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check

[00:00:20] A few days after Mitch died I was walking through the yard

[00:00:23] and I saw our neighbor who was a very good friend of Mitch's, Bob

[00:00:26] and he saw me coming through the gate

[00:00:28] and he said, I am so sorry for your loss

[00:00:32] and I knew that he needed to feel that loss too

[00:00:35] and to share it and I wanted to help him

[00:00:37] and he put his arms around me, cradled me, and his brace tightened

[00:00:41] Finally, here was somebody, somebody who truly cared

[00:00:49] and then I felt something else, something huge

[00:00:57] Okay, okay, let's just say it, let's just say it

[00:01:00] A podcast!

[00:01:02] Wow, good job

[00:01:04] You replaced the word boner with podcast

[00:01:07] It's what this show has been building to

[00:01:09] for the last year and a half

[00:01:11] A huge boner

[00:01:13] Hello everybody, my name is Griffin, Claude Barrister, Dofah Newman

[00:01:18] I'm David Sims

[00:01:19] David L. Sims

[00:01:20] Yes, David Lawrence Sims

[00:01:23] Hey now

[00:01:24] We're the two friends, hashtag it if you want

[00:01:27] We're two friends who host a podcast

[00:01:31] and this podcast is called Blank Check with Griffin and David

[00:01:36] Do you smell that?

[00:01:38] A colon?

[00:01:39] There's a colon

[00:01:40] At the end of the name of our podcast

[00:01:42] I don't like to smell colons personally

[00:01:45] You must not have a lot to talk about with dogs

[00:01:50] Let's just keep going

[00:01:52] Get that joke?

[00:01:53] Yep, I do

[00:01:54] That was kind of the joke I was making, you just expanded on it

[00:01:57] I plused it

[00:01:58] Yes, I ended it

[00:02:00] There's a reason they call me, yes Andrew

[00:02:03] Don't do that, let's start over this floor

[00:02:08] Okay, you want to start over?

[00:02:10] No, it's okay, we can keep going

[00:02:12] A few days after Mitch died I was walking through the yard

[00:02:15] No, no, no, no, no

[00:02:17] A podcast

[00:02:18] This is a podcast called We Podicast

[00:02:20] We're talking about the movies of Cameron Crow

[00:02:22] It's a mini series within a larger franchise

[00:02:24] Whatever

[00:02:25] And we're

[00:02:26] Think of this as our American Horror Story hotel

[00:02:28] Yeah, exactly

[00:02:30] It's about as bad and disorienting

[00:02:32] And it's mostly set in a hotel

[00:02:34] And Lady Gaga isn't it?

[00:02:35] Yeah

[00:02:36] And she's not in it

[00:02:37] In the podcast, she's in that show

[00:02:39] She's in her hearts and minds though

[00:02:41] It's been a couple weeks since we recorded

[00:02:43] Griffin's been tweeting up a sad storm on the Twitter

[00:02:47] I mean look, I don't want to brag

[00:02:48] But I have cried myself to sleep almost every night

[00:02:50] Since we last recorded

[00:02:52] I had a lovely vacation

[00:02:54] So we're both shaking the rust off

[00:02:56] Congratulations

[00:02:57] Yeah

[00:02:58] And we decided to do that with a discussion of the film

[00:03:01] Elizabeth Town

[00:03:03] Yeah, so our last

[00:03:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

[00:03:07] So we were banking up our episodes

[00:03:09] Yeah, sure

[00:03:10] But there was also a bit of a jumble

[00:03:12] What do you call inside baseball?

[00:03:13] There's a bit of a jumble in the order

[00:03:15] Okay

[00:03:16] They weren't recorded consecutively

[00:03:18] So you'll hear them straight through

[00:03:19] But this is our first time recording in like three weeks

[00:03:23] Yeah, yeah, about

[00:03:25] And yeah

[00:03:27] I'm sad in certain episodes you've listened to

[00:03:29] And not other ones because of the order they're releasing

[00:03:31] But breaking news

[00:03:33] Very much sad right now

[00:03:35] Sorry

[00:03:37] Apology accepted

[00:03:38] Any time something really bad happened to someone

[00:03:41] Like you know, a relative died

[00:03:43] I just went, sorry

[00:03:45] That was my reaction

[00:03:46] I mean look, that would fit into the film

[00:03:48] Elizabeth Town

[00:03:50] A film about people having weird

[00:03:52] Unrealistic reactions

[00:03:54] Too grief

[00:03:55] Yup

[00:03:56] Yes

[00:03:57] Elizabeth Town

[00:03:59] We're gonna talk about Elizabeth Town

[00:04:01] It is Cameron Crowe's sixth movie

[00:04:04] Seventh if you count the gap ad

[00:04:07] Oh yeah, right so in our, yes

[00:04:09] I think for us

[00:04:10] In our chronology it's his seventh movie

[00:04:12] Keep setting it up, I'm just gonna eat a bagel

[00:04:14] Because I'm feeling nostalgic for the early days of the podcast

[00:04:16] We talked for 45 minutes

[00:04:18] Before we started this podcast

[00:04:20] Griffin and producer Ben and I

[00:04:23] And then the minute we start recording

[00:04:26] He opens his fucking bagel in the middle of the studio

[00:04:29] We're gonna make this podcast great again

[00:04:31] So Elizabeth Town

[00:04:34] It's Cameron Crowe's seventh film

[00:04:36] Before Elizabeth Town

[00:04:38] All his movies had done well

[00:04:40] You know, maybe singles and say anything were

[00:04:42] Not big hits but they weren't that, you know

[00:04:44] All those movies did great

[00:04:46] And then it was quite, was not a huge critical success

[00:04:48] But made a lot of money

[00:04:49] Made a lot of money whereas

[00:04:51] Almost famous didn't make a lot of money

[00:04:52] But it won the Oscar

[00:04:53] And it became very, you know

[00:04:55] Very well loved and all that

[00:04:56] So, you know, Cameron Crowe

[00:04:58] Good run, he had a good run

[00:05:00] All of his films up until this point

[00:05:01] Were very successful in one way or another

[00:05:04] Yes

[00:05:05] But not both

[00:05:06] If not both

[00:05:07] And this film, a film that is obsessed

[00:05:09] With the idea of career-ruining failure

[00:05:11] As the film points out, Fiasco's

[00:05:14] Was his first Fiasco in his career

[00:05:17] And yet not the last

[00:05:19] No

[00:05:20] But this was a film that felt like a Fiasco

[00:05:23] Even before it came out

[00:05:25] It was a film that had a major recasting

[00:05:28] Into, like a couple weeks into filming

[00:05:30] I think like a week before filming

[00:05:32] They recast the leads

[00:05:33] Okay, fine

[00:05:34] They hadn't started yet

[00:05:35] But they were deep in rehearsals

[00:05:36] And they'd cast everyone else

[00:05:38] Around Ashton Kutcher

[00:05:41] That's right

[00:05:42] And then they decided

[00:05:43] That Ashton Kutcher and Kirsten Dunst

[00:05:45] Had no chemistry

[00:05:46] Kirsten Dunst

[00:05:47] Yeah

[00:05:48] So they recast him with Orlando Bloom

[00:05:52] I want to just establish this right now

[00:05:54] Because I think this is going to be

[00:05:55] It is 2005

[00:05:56] I know

[00:05:57] Orlando Bloom is a name

[00:05:58] Can we point out his run of films

[00:06:00] Up until this point?

[00:06:03] Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring

[00:06:05] Lord of the Rings, the Two Towers

[00:06:07] He'd been in Black Hawk Down, my friend

[00:06:08] Black Hawk Down?

[00:06:09] I'm not forgetting

[00:06:10] I wasn't going chronological order

[00:06:12] Lord of the Rings, Return of the King

[00:06:14] Black Hawk Down

[00:06:15] Troy

[00:06:16] And Pirates of the Caribbean

[00:06:18] Curse of the Black Pearl

[00:06:19] Sure

[00:06:20] Hollywood was looking at this guy

[00:06:21] Like maybe he's just got

[00:06:23] And Kingdom of Heaven

[00:06:24] Kingdom of Heaven came out right before

[00:06:26] Elizabeth Town

[00:06:27] I'm talking about the films

[00:06:28] That were leading into him being cast

[00:06:30] Alright, whatever

[00:06:31] Because Kingdom of Heaven

[00:06:32] Is the Red commercial

[00:06:33] And the Gap commercial

[00:06:34] Your face is red right now

[00:06:35] Because you forgot the Gap commercial

[00:06:37] I, look

[00:06:38] I'm Scarlet with embarrassment

[00:06:40] And there's someone else

[00:06:42] No, no, no

[00:06:43] So keep going

[00:06:44] He'd also been in like

[00:06:45] Troy, he'd been in Troy

[00:06:46] You don't want me to talk about that red-faced bastard

[00:06:48] Alright, alright

[00:06:49] You can talk about it

[00:06:50] But Troy, you forgot Troy

[00:06:51] I was not forgetting Troy

[00:06:52] You derailed me

[00:06:53] No, you see, we were done

[00:06:55] I was not done

[00:06:56] Check the tape

[00:06:57] Anyway

[00:06:58] Troy

[00:06:59] He had not

[00:07:00] Whiffed up until that point

[00:07:02] Right, but also

[00:07:03] He'd never been the lead of a movie

[00:07:05] He'd just been in movies

[00:07:07] But here's the thing about the film industry

[00:07:09] Right

[00:07:10] It's very dumb

[00:07:11] Well and also he's very handsome

[00:07:14] He's a handsome boy

[00:07:16] But I remember that even at the time

[00:07:18] Even when he got this role

[00:07:20] The vibe was like

[00:07:21] Oh, Orlando Bloom

[00:07:23] Like he might be just the flavor of the month

[00:07:25] So here's what I remember the vibe being

[00:07:27] I remember it being

[00:07:28] Yes, this is if he's gonna prove

[00:07:30] Sure, right, this is the moment

[00:07:31] Like at this point he just maybe got lucky

[00:07:33] Well, no, okay, be on that

[00:07:35] Okay, he was in the Lord of the Rings movies

[00:07:37] In which his character did

[00:07:39] Some cool stuff with a bow and arrow

[00:07:41] Yes

[00:07:42] And like certainly had his fans

[00:07:44] But it's not like

[00:07:46] Anyone was out there saying

[00:07:48] Like one of the best performances

[00:07:50] In those movies is Orlando Bloom

[00:07:52] I will say he was my favorite character

[00:07:53] In Lord of the Rings

[00:07:54] Really?

[00:07:55] And I was like I want to see

[00:07:56] Orlando Bloom in more movies

[00:07:57] You're crazy

[00:07:58] But there were some people like

[00:07:59] There must have been

[00:08:00] And then he was in Pirates of the Caribbean

[00:08:02] And what I would say an active drag

[00:08:04] On the film's quality

[00:08:06] Anytime they cut to him

[00:08:08] Or his story is invoked

[00:08:10] You're my reaction

[00:08:11] And I think some people's reaction is

[00:08:13] Oh, get on with it

[00:08:15] We don't care

[00:08:16] Move along

[00:08:17] Like here at Nightly

[00:08:18] It's pretty charming and winning in those movies

[00:08:20] And she's his, you know, his romantic

[00:08:22] Interest in that movie

[00:08:24] But Orlando Bloom with his like daddy issues

[00:08:26] And like he's a sword maker

[00:08:28] Who cares? Nobody cares

[00:08:30] And yet he is the one they brought back

[00:08:32] For POTC 5

[00:08:34] And not Miss Nightly

[00:08:35] Well, wasn't, didn't she just say no?

[00:08:38] Probably

[00:08:39] Yeah, what do you mean?

[00:08:40] He'll do anything at this point

[00:08:41] Yeah, I just thought of that

[00:08:42] Like the whole, the third one

[00:08:43] Ends with them being like

[00:08:44] We're gonna leave behind the

[00:08:45] Pirating Life and be in love forever

[00:08:47] No, the third one ends with him

[00:08:48] Abandoned on an island, you wacko

[00:08:50] I'm sorry, the third one

[00:08:51] Ends with him returning home to her

[00:08:53] Yeah, but you can only see each other

[00:08:55] Every ten years

[00:08:56] I thought the end was he's back for good

[00:08:58] After being gone for ten years

[00:09:00] I thought that's what the ending was

[00:09:01] But they can only see each other

[00:09:02] Every ten years, I thought

[00:09:03] She has to go to his island every ten years

[00:09:05] Oh right

[00:09:06] Yeah, he's abandoned forever

[00:09:08] I remember he had his heart ripped out

[00:09:09] Right, literally

[00:09:10] Yeah, he's the new David

[00:09:11] Look, one day we'll do our big

[00:09:13] Gore Verbinski marathon

[00:09:16] You know

[00:09:18] Podverbincast

[00:09:21] Yeah, that's not bad

[00:09:23] Wow, so derailed

[00:09:25] So early

[00:09:26] Also, Paterats of the

[00:09:27] Casta Bean

[00:09:28] Oh, pretty good

[00:09:29] Pretty good

[00:09:30] Gotta do it now

[00:09:32] Anyway, so

[00:09:33] Yeah, do the Ben names

[00:09:35] Hold on one second

[00:09:36] No, just do them

[00:09:38] My point was

[00:09:39] He had this sort of heat

[00:09:40] Hollywood is stupid

[00:09:42] They're usually not good at analyzing

[00:09:43] Why people like things

[00:09:44] Or respond to things

[00:09:45] So I just went

[00:09:46] Guy's sharing a lot of movie that people like

[00:09:47] He's a big name now

[00:09:48] Girls got him hanging up in their lockers

[00:09:50] Literally girls would abduct him

[00:09:52] And hang them up in their lockers

[00:09:54] Sure

[00:09:55] Maybe, maybe

[00:09:57] What's interesting is not that

[00:09:59] That they would make that decision

[00:10:01] That's illogical enough

[00:10:02] Weird dumb Hollywood

[00:10:03] It's more that Cameron Crow would buy into it

[00:10:05] He had been a pretty good

[00:10:07] Castor

[00:10:09] Now I don't mean podcaster

[00:10:11] Cause podcast didn't exist yet

[00:10:13] I mean castor of actors

[00:10:15] No it didn't

[00:10:16] And now that you brought this up

[00:10:17] I mean it's important for me to bring up

[00:10:18] The main who invented podcast

[00:10:21] Oh yeah go ahead

[00:10:25] He's the producer of this show

[00:10:26] Uh huh, you really were struggling there

[00:10:29] I don't know what to say he's the producer of this show

[00:10:32] He's the Ben Dooser

[00:10:33] You know, I mean he's the poet laureate

[00:10:34] And he's the haze

[00:10:36] The fuckmaster

[00:10:38] Birthday Benny

[00:10:39] Mr. Positive

[00:10:41] Do not call him Professor Crispy

[00:10:44] Do wish him a hello fennel

[00:10:46] If you want

[00:10:47] Yeah, I mean if you see him

[00:10:49] He's the guy who's open for his eyes

[00:10:51] Cause he's peeping

[00:10:52] Always

[00:10:53] He's been known to peep

[00:10:54] He'll peep, he is the peeper

[00:10:57] He's refined his film critic

[00:10:58] That is known definitively

[00:11:01] He's the haze

[00:11:03] And you know he's come a long way

[00:11:05] Since starting with us on this podcast

[00:11:07] I mean he's you know

[00:11:08] Do you think like people just like

[00:11:10] Press like the plus 45 seconds mark

[00:11:12] When you start this

[00:11:14] I think they rewind once I'm done

[00:11:16] And they go back to the beginning

[00:11:17] And they listen to it again

[00:11:18] And they slow it down

[00:11:19] So his names are like

[00:11:21] You know

[00:11:22] Kylo Ben and

[00:11:24] Pretty sure Ben Kenobi

[00:11:25] Ben Knight Shyamalan

[00:11:26] Ben Knight Shyamalan

[00:11:27] Ben Knight yeah

[00:11:28] And uh

[00:11:29] What's his new Cameron Crow name

[00:11:31] Or have we not decided yet?

[00:11:33] The two that have been

[00:11:34] Benny Lane is brewing

[00:11:35] Benny Lane is brewing

[00:11:36] And then you had me at hello fennels

[00:11:38] More of a sentence

[00:11:40] No I like Benny Lane though

[00:11:41] That's great

[00:11:42] Benny Lane's pretty good

[00:11:43] But you know it's not official yet

[00:11:44] We still got a couple movies to go

[00:11:46] It's not official with town

[00:11:48] Hey

[00:11:49] Hey now

[00:11:50] 27 comedy points

[00:11:52] Ben Hosley

[00:11:53] Ladies and gentlemen

[00:11:54] Hey guys

[00:11:56] How are you doing Ben?

[00:11:57] I'm doing good

[00:11:59] Yeah

[00:12:00] So you're not feeling like

[00:12:01] Strapping a butcher knife

[00:12:02] To an exercise bike

[00:12:03] And stabbing yourself in the chest with it

[00:12:05] No

[00:12:06] Good

[00:12:07] I'm summertime

[00:12:08] Went to the beach a bunch

[00:12:10] Has anyone ever

[00:12:11] I went to the beach last weekend too

[00:12:13] Where'd you go

[00:12:14] Which beach

[00:12:15] Fort Tilden

[00:12:16] Very nice I went there

[00:12:17] Griffin filmed a movie called that

[00:12:19] With a scene set there

[00:12:20] Did they film at Fort Tilden

[00:12:22] Or was it a different beach

[00:12:23] I believe it was a different beach

[00:12:24] Yeah

[00:12:25] It's a movie magic for you

[00:12:26] Yeah

[00:12:27] I went to Robert Moses beach

[00:12:28] Yes go on

[00:12:29] The only way for you to know

[00:12:30] Is to rent that film on Amazon

[00:12:32] Amazon video

[00:12:33] My favorite video provider

[00:12:34] A great company

[00:12:35] You can also rent it on iTunes

[00:12:36] Or other video providers

[00:12:38] There's actually a bunch of

[00:12:39] UCB people in the film

[00:12:41] And I don't know if you guys know

[00:12:43] If there's a UCB comedy podcast network

[00:12:45] That's true there is

[00:12:47] A bunch of UCB performers

[00:12:49] You fucking kidding me

[00:12:50] What kind of podcast, Ben?

[00:12:52] Oh well hey

[00:12:53] You interested in long form improv

[00:12:55] Cause we got a show called

[00:12:57] UCB Long Form Conversations

[00:12:59] I was about to say

[00:13:00] I'm not interested in listening

[00:13:01] To someone talk about it

[00:13:02] For a little bit

[00:13:03] But as long as the conversations

[00:13:04] Are as long as the improv shows

[00:13:06] I'm down baby

[00:13:07] Perfect

[00:13:08] Down the clown

[00:13:09] Hey let's say

[00:13:10] I don't know

[00:13:11] You like sex relationships

[00:13:12] Little menage toile radio

[00:13:13] With Murph and Diana

[00:13:14] I don't want to talk about sex

[00:13:16] You know honestly though

[00:13:17] Let's just get to the film

[00:13:18] Let's get to the film

[00:13:19] Okay so

[00:13:20] What I find interesting

[00:13:21] About the Orlando Bloom phenomenon

[00:13:22] Sure

[00:13:23] Is that

[00:13:24] He was in all these

[00:13:25] Successive big hits

[00:13:27] Big blockbusters

[00:13:28] Never the star

[00:13:29] No

[00:13:30] But certainly a cog

[00:13:31] He was always a big part

[00:13:33] A central character

[00:13:35] No I'm blackhawk down

[00:13:36] I'm blackhawk down

[00:13:37] He's the blackhawk

[00:13:38] Well no it's the helicopter

[00:13:39] I mean he's the guy

[00:13:41] Who goes down

[00:13:42] He falls out of a helicopter

[00:13:43] No but it's the helicopter

[00:13:44] That goes down

[00:13:45] And he's actually not involved

[00:13:46] They get him

[00:13:47] It's these two other guys

[00:13:48] The guy

[00:13:49] His name is Sergeant Blackhawk

[00:13:50] His same was

[00:13:52] Blackburn

[00:13:53] Oh come on

[00:13:54] PFC Blackburn

[00:13:55] Yeah

[00:13:56] But that was pre

[00:13:57] I think he may have made

[00:13:58] That pre Lord of the Rings

[00:13:59] Didn't he

[00:14:00] Or maybe he made it

[00:14:01] After shooting Lord of the Rings

[00:14:02] But

[00:14:03] Yes I believe

[00:14:04] Came out at the same time

[00:14:05] And he's actually pretty good

[00:14:06] In it cause it's five minutes

[00:14:07] He is pretty charming in it

[00:14:08] Yeah

[00:14:09] And of course he's

[00:14:10] The Lord of the Rings

[00:14:11] But outside that film

[00:14:12] The other films

[00:14:13] That is a small role

[00:14:14] The other films he has larger roles

[00:14:15] But they're all like

[00:14:16] Very heightened period pieces

[00:14:18] Yes

[00:14:19] Like he becomes very big

[00:14:20] But doing this sort of

[00:14:21] Modern day Earl Flynn

[00:14:22] Then two different periods

[00:14:23] Not even period fantasy pieces

[00:14:25] Well Troy

[00:14:26] Troy is

[00:14:27] Quote unquote

[00:14:28] A period piece

[00:14:29] Okay

[00:14:30] In that like

[00:14:31] The Peloponnesian war

[00:14:32] Happened in some form or another

[00:14:34] But it's basically fantasy

[00:14:35] You know

[00:14:36] He did fantasy films

[00:14:37] Set in the past

[00:14:38] Yeah

[00:14:39] Absolutely

[00:14:40] So he's speaking in like

[00:14:41] A heightened form of English

[00:14:42] Yes

[00:14:43] In an English accent

[00:14:44] Yup

[00:14:45] Note

[00:14:46] Yup huge

[00:14:47] God he's awful in Troy

[00:14:48] And those parts

[00:14:49] Mostly ask him to be physical

[00:14:51] Which let's say this

[00:14:52] He's a very good physical actor

[00:14:54] If we learned anything

[00:14:55] From denim invasion

[00:14:57] He's a good physical actor

[00:14:58] I forgot that we talked

[00:14:59] About denim invasion a bunch

[00:15:00] That was a while back

[00:15:01] So I forgot about that

[00:15:02] But yes of course

[00:15:03] Denim invasion

[00:15:04] Very physical actor

[00:15:05] Not just like

[00:15:06] I think he's alright

[00:15:07] As Legolas

[00:15:08] I think that he's

[00:15:09] I went really high on that opinion

[00:15:11] As Legolas

[00:15:13] He's

[00:15:15] You know

[00:15:16] Obviously supposed to be kind of a

[00:15:17] Impassive sort of

[00:15:20] I don't know

[00:15:21] Dweeb

[00:15:22] I don't know how you put like elves in those

[00:15:23] Movies are such

[00:15:24] Hoity-toity jerks

[00:15:26] And he's like decent as a hoity-toity jerk

[00:15:28] And I remember in fellowship with the ring

[00:15:30] When Gandalf dies

[00:15:31] He's pretty good at the sort of like

[00:15:33] Elf

[00:15:34] Spoiler alert

[00:15:35] Well he comes back

[00:15:36] Double-summit

[00:15:39] He's good at the sort of elf reaction

[00:15:41] Which is kind of no reaction

[00:15:42] But he just seems a little lost

[00:15:44] I remember thinking like

[00:15:45] Okay he's okay

[00:15:46] I mean he's a good physical actor

[00:15:47] I mean look

[00:15:48] Dude obviously looks great

[00:15:49] Right

[00:15:50] And he holds the camera well

[00:15:53] But there is something to the fact that

[00:15:55] He's very handsome

[00:15:56] He always was playing these

[00:15:57] Kind of stoic

[00:15:58] Emotionally reserved

[00:15:59] Kind of swashbuckler guys

[00:16:00] Except in Troy

[00:16:01] In which he literally plays

[00:16:02] Like

[00:16:03] A douchebag

[00:16:05] He's not great at it

[00:16:06] No but it's also

[00:16:07] I mean that film isn't very behavioral

[00:16:10] Or good

[00:16:11] Agreed

[00:16:12] It's not very good

[00:16:13] It was this weird phenomenon

[00:16:15] At least the other movies were good

[00:16:16] It was a very weird phenomenon

[00:16:17] Of someone who had been in like

[00:16:18] Six consecutive

[00:16:20] Huge films

[00:16:21] Yeah

[00:16:22] And was an integral part

[00:16:23] In all of them

[00:16:24] To one degree or another

[00:16:25] And people didn't really have

[00:16:26] Any idea whether or not

[00:16:27] He could actually act

[00:16:28] But he was certainly being pushed on us

[00:16:30] And he was in

[00:16:31] You know

[00:16:32] He was in Jean's commercials

[00:16:33] And he was

[00:16:34] Spooning around town

[00:16:35] The ladies loved him

[00:16:36] He was dating Kate's Bosworth

[00:16:37] Kate's Bosworths

[00:16:38] Kate's Bosworths herself

[00:16:41] Ashton Kutcher

[00:16:42] Who was also sort of a

[00:16:44] You know flavor de jure at the time

[00:16:45] This is like a year into

[00:16:47] Punk's run

[00:16:48] And I remember after

[00:16:49] Punk there was this thing of like

[00:16:50] He had maybe just left

[00:16:51] That 70's show

[00:16:52] Is that right?

[00:16:53] I believe so

[00:16:54] Right like around then

[00:16:55] Is when he leaves that 70's show

[00:16:56] Because like while he was

[00:16:57] On that 70's show

[00:16:58] He did like you know

[00:16:59] Okay dude where's my car

[00:17:00] And stuff and then with punked

[00:17:01] Weirdly everyone was like

[00:17:02] Wait is he a serious actor?

[00:17:03] Which is stupid

[00:17:04] And I remember him being thrown

[00:17:05] Around for a bunch of stuff

[00:17:06] And it was like

[00:17:07] We liked him on punked

[00:17:08] For the opposite

[00:17:09] People complain about culture today

[00:17:11] And like what's going on in culture

[00:17:12] But there was a time when punked

[00:17:14] Was much watched

[00:17:15] Must watch TV

[00:17:16] Yeah

[00:17:17] Punked

[00:17:18] Remember when Ashton Kutcher

[00:17:19] Was like the first celebrity

[00:17:20] On Twitter so everybody

[00:17:21] Followed Ashton Kutcher

[00:17:22] Yeah

[00:17:23] And thank god that's not

[00:17:24] True anymore

[00:17:25] But it's weird that punked

[00:17:26] Made him so big

[00:17:27] When he was not

[00:17:28] The guy like doing the punked

[00:17:29] When his role is like

[00:17:30] Doing the introductions

[00:17:31] And

[00:17:32] Yeah but he was so sexy

[00:17:33] Cause his like base

[00:17:34] Felt like half a sideways

[00:17:35] And he had like hadn't shaved

[00:17:36] All that shit

[00:17:37] But he just like blew up

[00:17:38] Suddenly right

[00:17:39] After being like

[00:17:40] A guy

[00:17:41] Suddenly became like

[00:17:42] Everyone being like

[00:17:43] It was the same kind of thing

[00:17:44] Yeah

[00:17:45] Where they looked at something

[00:17:46] He was very successful

[00:17:47] And popular in doing

[00:17:48] And went like

[00:17:49] Can we apply him to other things

[00:17:50] They fire Ashton Kutcher

[00:17:52] And they hire

[00:17:53] Orlando Bloom

[00:17:54] Who we had worked with

[00:17:55] In denim invasion

[00:17:56] Now let's just

[00:17:57] Wait on punked

[00:17:59] No on this movie

[00:18:00] Although I do think

[00:18:01] Orlando Bloom was punked

[00:18:02] He must have been

[00:18:03] By this movie you mean?

[00:18:04] Yes

[00:18:05] Or you mean he was in the show punk

[00:18:07] Both

[00:18:09] This is

[00:18:11] To my eyes I cannot think of a more

[00:18:14] Catastrophic lead performance

[00:18:16] In a film

[00:18:17] Yeah he is horrendous

[00:18:18] In the film

[00:18:19] The film is not just bad

[00:18:21] Because of him

[00:18:22] But if the film was beautifully

[00:18:24] Written and acted around him

[00:18:26] And well made around him

[00:18:27] It is still be bad

[00:18:28] If he you know

[00:18:29] Was the same

[00:18:30] I think if you have

[00:18:31] There is a horrible like sucking sound

[00:18:34] Anytime he's on screen

[00:18:35] I'm gonna throw out a very controversial opinion

[00:18:38] Oh boy

[00:18:39] I don't hate this movie

[00:18:41] Sure

[00:18:42] That's not that controversial

[00:18:43] Some people sort of defend this movie

[00:18:45] I don't know if I can go as far as saying

[00:18:47] I just read an article by my internet pal

[00:18:49] Amos Barshad

[00:18:50] Who used to work at Grantland

[00:18:52] And I remember he had written a movie

[00:18:54] In honor of

[00:18:55] An article in honor of

[00:18:56] This film's 10th anniversary

[00:18:57] That was sort of like a

[00:18:58] A quasi-defense

[00:19:00] You know

[00:19:01] My pal Joanna Robinson

[00:19:03] We were tweeting with her just this morning

[00:19:05] Says she kind of likes this movie

[00:19:06] She said she liked it for Kirsten Dunst

[00:19:08] And the soundtrack though

[00:19:09] I know a friend of the podcast

[00:19:11] Sophie Peralt also is a big fan

[00:19:13] She's a big fan of this movie?

[00:19:15] I believe so

[00:19:16] I don't want to misquote her

[00:19:17] But I know she was nervous about us

[00:19:19] Doing this episode

[00:19:20] Oh sorry Sophie

[00:19:21] I had never seen the film before

[00:19:24] It was the only camera crew film

[00:19:25] I hadn't seen long into this series

[00:19:26] I was scared to watch it

[00:19:28] Because I do really love Cameron Crowe

[00:19:32] As a sad white boy

[00:19:33] You know

[00:19:34] I don't

[00:19:35] That's the thing

[00:19:36] As much as I worship at the ground of Jerry Maguire

[00:19:39] I have no particular

[00:19:40] And say anything you love too

[00:19:41] Oh I like a lot of his movies

[00:19:42] But I don't have any

[00:19:43] Cameron Crowe to me is not for some reason

[00:19:46] What I put my flag on

[00:19:48] Like when he started sucking

[00:19:50] I was just like oh he must suck

[00:19:51] Like he must suck now

[00:19:52] Yeah I'm someone who still like waits

[00:19:54] You know

[00:19:55] Like Cameron's going to come back with a bag of toys

[00:19:57] There really is that feeling

[00:19:58] Every time he makes a new thing

[00:19:59] People are like is this it?

[00:20:01] Is this it?

[00:20:02] Is this it?

[00:20:04] But

[00:20:06] I had always been afraid to watch it

[00:20:07] Because people are

[00:20:09] Quite scathing

[00:20:10] The people who hate this movie

[00:20:11] And they are the vast majority of human beings

[00:20:13] Who have ever seen this movie

[00:20:14] Yes

[00:20:15] Hate it violently

[00:20:16] Yeah they really don't like it

[00:20:18] I'm with them

[00:20:19] And I kept on being like

[00:20:21] I don't understand how it could be

[00:20:23] That disastrous

[00:20:24] Right

[00:20:25] You know what I'm saying?

[00:20:26] Yes I do know what you're saying

[00:20:27] Because when you hear the plot of the movie

[00:20:29] It's like

[00:20:30] Oh you know it's kind of Jeremy Guiery

[00:20:32] It's like oh a guy is down on his luck

[00:20:34] After like his professional life tanks

[00:20:36] Yeah

[00:20:37] His dad dies

[00:20:38] He goes to this like cutesy town

[00:20:40] Where the dad's from

[00:20:41] Has some little cutesy town adventures

[00:20:43] Meets a cutesy girl

[00:20:45] They have a cutesy romance

[00:20:46] And then the problem solved

[00:20:48] I feel like yes

[00:20:50] And then Susan Sarandon is there

[00:20:52] Sarandon, Sarandon, Sarandon

[00:20:54] Sarandon

[00:20:55] Sarandon

[00:20:56] I believe that

[00:20:59] I find usually the movies that people get like

[00:21:01] Enraged about

[00:21:03] Yeah

[00:21:04] I'm enraged about this movie

[00:21:05] Just to be clear

[00:21:06] Well yeah but I'm saying

[00:21:07] I always would hear that people were enraged about this movie

[00:21:09] And it would be very

[00:21:10] Hard for me to imagine that

[00:21:11] Because I go well just looking at what the film is

[00:21:13] It feels like the worst case scenario of this movie

[00:21:15] Is just kind of glib and inert

[00:21:17] It doesn't feel like something you could get angry about

[00:21:19] Yeah but no

[00:21:20] This movie is

[00:21:22] Cameron Crowe like going wrong

[00:21:24] It's like Cameron Crowe having like a stroke

[00:21:26] Or something while he's writing it

[00:21:27] And also calling his own shot

[00:21:29] I mean making a movie about a guy destroyed by failure

[00:21:32] Sure

[00:21:33] That is the failure that he

[00:21:34] Yeah

[00:21:35] I'm not giving him credit for that

[00:21:36] No I'm not

[00:21:37] You shouldn't because he made Jerry Maguire

[00:21:38] Which you know

[00:21:39] I think it's fascinating

[00:21:40] That he made a movie this obsessed with failure

[00:21:42] Before he had experienced it in the movie itself

[00:21:44] Created by Jerry Maguire

[00:21:45] Again, he'd already made that movie

[00:21:47] It's Jerry Maguire

[00:21:48] Yeah

[00:21:49] It's a good movie

[00:21:50] I don't know why he made this movie

[00:21:52] This isn't right

[00:21:53] So apparently you know

[00:21:54] Apparently like almost famous

[00:21:56] This is a semi-autographical biographical film

[00:21:59] Uh huh

[00:22:00] His dad had died

[00:22:01] And like I don't know much more than that

[00:22:03] But he had some sort of like emotional experiences

[00:22:05] That he related into this screenplay

[00:22:08] Cameron Crowe lost a billion dollars on a shoe

[00:22:12] Spasmatica

[00:22:14] But that's the difference between how

[00:22:16] This film approaches failure and Jerry Maguire

[00:22:19] Excuse me

[00:22:20] Approaches failure

[00:22:22] Is that Jerry Maguire is like a guy who is

[00:22:24] Disillusioned by what he sees around him

[00:22:26] And wants to figure out how to be a more substantial person

[00:22:28] Doing more important things in the world

[00:22:30] This film is about someone who's put themselves on the line

[00:22:33] Put their heart and soul into everything

[00:22:35] And was roundly rejected by everyone

[00:22:37] And experiences the entire fall out of that

[00:22:40] And it feels like a movie made by someone

[00:22:42] Who is like grieving

[00:22:44] You know

[00:22:45] And like trying to lick their wounds

[00:22:46] But he hadn't experienced that yet

[00:22:48] Is that one reason

[00:22:49] Is there a reaction of vanilla sky?

[00:22:50] I may be I guess

[00:22:51] But that's one reason the film's

[00:22:53] A depiction of professional

[00:22:57] Uh

[00:22:58] Grief

[00:22:59] Makes no sense

[00:23:00] Uh

[00:23:01] You don't feel the impact at all

[00:23:02] When he's gonna kill himself by strapping a knife

[00:23:04] To a bike

[00:23:05] That doesn't feel earned

[00:23:07] I think a lot of that's on performance too

[00:23:10] I'm not saying this script is doing real heavy lifting

[00:23:13] It's doing no lifting

[00:23:14] Because it gives him no lines

[00:23:15] I don't think there is one moment in this film

[00:23:18] Where Orlando Bloom convinces me

[00:23:20] Emotes

[00:23:21] Yes

[00:23:22] Emotes

[00:23:23] Yes

[00:23:24] Oh well maybe when he's crying in the car at the end

[00:23:26] Boy oh boy

[00:23:27] But that's it

[00:23:28] No, that's fine

[00:23:29] You're saying oh the script isn't like totally to blame

[00:23:31] Orlando Bloom could have maybe been crying

[00:23:33] When he was gonna kill himself with a bike

[00:23:35] Strap to an exercise

[00:23:36] How's it even gonna work?

[00:23:37] A knife strapped an exercise bike

[00:23:39] Is he gonna keep pedaling

[00:23:40] And it's gonna like repeatedly stab him?

[00:23:42] That was the idea

[00:23:43] Ben do you wanna say your name for the bike?

[00:23:45] Oh yeah sure

[00:23:46] I think it would be funny if we called it a suicide cycle

[00:23:50] 100 comedy points

[00:23:51] Yep, he made that joke earlier and I laughed

[00:23:54] Like an English king

[00:23:56] I think the right actor in this role

[00:23:59] Four comedy points for the English king

[00:24:01] No go ahead

[00:24:02] I think the right actor

[00:24:03] Who's the right actor?

[00:24:04] Well I was trying to figure this out last night

[00:24:06] Okay

[00:24:07] Cuz Kutcher and

[00:24:08] Orlando Bloom are your part in it

[00:24:10] So I looked at other actors

[00:24:12] In that age range

[00:24:13] And anyone who I saw born either of those years

[00:24:18] Who I thought could have pulled off the role

[00:24:20] Was not well known at that point in time

[00:24:23] Their career didn't start until after

[00:24:26] You could make him a couple years older

[00:24:28] Bloom was probably like 28

[00:24:31] 27, 28 years old

[00:24:33] I think Joe Robinson throughout that

[00:24:36] Jake Gyllenhaal was up for the film

[00:24:38] Yeah Joe Robinson mentioned Jake Gyllenhaal

[00:24:40] He would have been good

[00:24:41] I think he would have been good

[00:24:43] Maybe

[00:24:44] He at least can act

[00:24:45] He decided to make Brokeback Mountain this year instead

[00:24:47] Good choice

[00:24:48] Good call

[00:24:49] I mean I don't think he got the role

[00:24:50] But I'm just saying

[00:24:51] Like you know he made Brokeback Mountain in 2000

[00:24:53] Like a Nazca nomination

[00:24:54] It was a good performance

[00:24:56] I think Tobin McGuire could have done it

[00:24:58] No

[00:24:59] You don't?

[00:25:00] No

[00:25:01] I think Tobin McGuire is not suited to roles

[00:25:04] In which he has to play a regular person

[00:25:06] Interesting

[00:25:07] Yeah

[00:25:08] But I don't think this character is a regular person

[00:25:10] I think the problem

[00:25:11] What is this character?

[00:25:12] Well

[00:25:13] Do tell

[00:25:14] He's supposed to be regular

[00:25:16] He's supposed to be like a you know successful guy

[00:25:18] Who then like it all went crashing down

[00:25:20] But is aggressively miserable

[00:25:22] I mean that's a

[00:25:23] You never see him before it comes crashing down

[00:25:25] So what you need to play is someone who cannot function anymore

[00:25:28] Also how old is

[00:25:29] 27, 28?

[00:25:31] 28, 20's maybe

[00:25:32] It's so unclear

[00:25:33] It is

[00:25:34] Like he's some whiz kid

[00:25:35] That's really good at making shoes

[00:25:37] They don't

[00:25:38] Okay so the other thing is

[00:25:39] Alright just like

[00:25:40] So the movie is two hours long

[00:25:41] Which and it feels long

[00:25:43] It was screened at Toronto

[00:25:45] And I think it was like two and a half hours long

[00:25:47] I believe so

[00:25:48] And it was essentially booed

[00:25:50] You know like

[00:25:51] Yeah

[00:25:52] It was roundly reviled

[00:25:54] And you know a movie when it screens at Toronto

[00:25:56] That's in preparation often for like an Oscar run

[00:26:00] That's like your big fall festival

[00:26:02] The film was only like two months out from release

[00:26:04] If that

[00:26:05] Probably a month

[00:26:06] They took the scissors to it

[00:26:08] And they cut it down to this

[00:26:09] I don't know that the other cut is better

[00:26:11] I mean my guess is it's worse

[00:26:13] The last thing this movie needs is to be longer

[00:26:15] What this movie needs is to not exist

[00:26:17] But

[00:26:18] That's maybe we're losing

[00:26:21] I'm just saying maybe we're losing some story there

[00:26:24] You know some sort of background

[00:26:26] I don't know

[00:26:27] I feel the loss in subplots

[00:26:30] I feel like how underserved a lot of the supporting characters are

[00:26:34] In the film

[00:26:35] You know

[00:26:36] The cut that exists

[00:26:38] Is really just primarily about his relationship with Pearson Dunst

[00:26:43] And him coming to terms with his father's death

[00:26:45] Yeah and a lot of wacky Kentucky shit

[00:26:49] It loses a lot of the mom, the rest of the family

[00:26:52] And I feel like it feels like Paul Schneider should have had more in this movie

[00:26:57] It feels like there's a big

[00:26:58] I love Paul Schneider

[00:27:00] I think he's a wonderful tremendous actor

[00:27:02] But thank God he's not in more of this movie

[00:27:04] It feels like

[00:27:05] What is this movie?

[00:27:07] I'm just sorry

[00:27:08] As we're talking about it like scenes are flooding back into my brain

[00:27:11] Because my brain I think could already start to compartmentalize and get rid of it

[00:27:14] Like you don't need this in your memory palace

[00:27:17] Get it out

[00:27:18] Can we, I just, I want to focus on the two performances before we get to the

[00:27:21] Talking about the film

[00:27:22] Because the film doesn't much of a plot

[00:27:23] And most of this film is about the two

[00:27:25] I've been listening to

[00:27:26] I just want to say

[00:27:27] We've been listening to our episodes back

[00:27:29] Yeah

[00:27:30] And almost every episode you'll say

[00:27:32] I know we usually go through the plot sequentially

[00:27:34] But this is the kind of movie where that doesn't really work

[00:27:36] Every single time it's hilarious

[00:27:38] Every time you have some reason why we can't go through

[00:27:40] We always go

[00:27:41] That's my catchphrase put on a t-shirt

[00:27:42] Real quick, real quick

[00:27:43] I just have, I got a gripe

[00:27:45] Shoot

[00:27:46] I figured it out

[00:27:47] It took me up until this movie

[00:27:49] I think I had even kind of sort of referenced it

[00:27:51] And Jerry McGuire

[00:27:52] I know what bothers me about all of Cameron Crone's movies

[00:27:55] Oh wow

[00:27:56] They're all set from the perspective of an upper middle class

[00:27:59] White person

[00:28:00] Correct

[00:28:01] I am sick of it

[00:28:02] By the time I got to this movie

[00:28:03] I'm just like

[00:28:04] Oh, his shoe fucking job isn't working out

[00:28:07] Fuck you man

[00:28:09] I'll say this

[00:28:10] Oh god

[00:28:11] And I'm glad we're talking about this now

[00:28:12] I thought, uh

[00:28:14] Ah, your zoo deal was not as profitable as you thought

[00:28:17] Acquiring a zoo

[00:28:20] Oh boo-hoo

[00:28:22] Oh, you're an escrow on the zoo

[00:28:25] Sorry, go ahead

[00:28:26] Uh, I

[00:28:28] I don't want to cast any Hawaiian people

[00:28:30] Well, sorry

[00:28:32] Boo-hoo space is being militarized

[00:28:35] And my, that's the thing

[00:28:37] Aloha is the same fucking thing

[00:28:38] His career has been disgraced too

[00:28:40] Yeah

[00:28:41] It all opens on it's like

[00:28:42] He was a hotshot

[00:28:43] And then something happened

[00:28:45] And he was disgraced

[00:28:47] And in Jerry McGuire at least

[00:28:49] It's like he had a moment of self doubt

[00:28:52] Which is interesting

[00:28:53] Yeah

[00:28:54] Whereas in Elizabeth Town

[00:28:56] Literally designed the stupidest fucking looking shoe

[00:28:58] Anyone in the world has ever seen

[00:29:00] It had like a plastic hood over it

[00:29:02] What's the shoe called?

[00:29:03] Spasmotica

[00:29:05] And like this is the thing

[00:29:07] The movie acts like

[00:29:09] He fucked up on the shoe

[00:29:11] No one else looked at this shoe

[00:29:13] Like someone might not have been like

[00:29:15] Spasmotica might not be the name for the sneaker

[00:29:18] That's not a great name

[00:29:20] At least $400 million is blamed on the name

[00:29:22] Look at this shoe

[00:29:24] It looks like a stingray

[00:29:26] Kinda

[00:29:27] Yeah

[00:29:28] They also talk about how it's like

[00:29:30] I think it was supposed to be a revolution

[00:29:32] In terms of design of a shoe

[00:29:33] But also, well there's the moment where he's holding up the little toy stingray

[00:29:35] Yeah you see him, you know it's true right

[00:29:37] I forgot about that right

[00:29:38] It's all rapid

[00:29:39] Eight years

[00:29:40] But like form and function

[00:29:42] Cause they say like new technology

[00:29:44] We're gonna make it feel like you're walking on a cloud

[00:29:46] Like he was like new materials

[00:29:48] 365 days in a year

[00:29:50] Eight years he worked on this shoe

[00:29:52] What?

[00:29:53] He worked on the shoe for eight years

[00:29:54] That's what it says in the movie

[00:29:56] He got a scholarship

[00:29:57] Yeah he was out of college

[00:29:59] Right recruited from, yeah

[00:30:01] And there's the part where they open up the magazine

[00:30:04] At the end of the film

[00:30:05] And there's the quote from him

[00:30:06] That's you know they Photoshop him

[00:30:08] Sitting on a bomb that's dropping

[00:30:09] And it goes like

[00:30:10] They really just gave me free reign to do whatever I wanted

[00:30:12] So I think the idea is that no one checked in

[00:30:14] Because he was such a wonderkin

[00:30:16] Okay that's fine

[00:30:17] But he was such a wonderkin that he got a billion bucks

[00:30:20] To spend on a shoe

[00:30:21] Like someone surely approved the spending

[00:30:24] A billion dollars?

[00:30:26] Don't you find it fascinating and I'm not citing this

[00:30:28] As a reason why the film is more interesting

[00:30:31] Don't you find it fascinating that like

[00:30:33] This is his fucking spedotica or whatever

[00:30:35] Yeah I mean but

[00:30:37] Like this is someone giving him 70 million dollars

[00:30:39] And being like hands off your camera crow

[00:30:40] You know what you're doing

[00:30:41] It's almost like he got a blank check

[00:30:43] The film's budget was 45 million dollars

[00:30:46] Really?

[00:30:47] Put that out there

[00:30:48] I thought it was much higher

[00:30:49] Orland or bloom probably didn't make much money

[00:30:51] Like the actors were not expensive

[00:30:53] Yeah but the last 20 minutes of the film are a road trip

[00:30:55] Where they had to shoot in like 12 different states

[00:30:58] Yeah sure but

[00:30:59] Yeah I don't think they shot in 12 different states

[00:31:02] I don't know

[00:31:03] Some of those scenes are inside

[00:31:04] I don't know

[00:31:05] Alright come on

[00:31:06] Lock the gates let's get into it

[00:31:07] Lock the gates

[00:31:08] Lock the gates

[00:31:10] Oh god it feels good to say lock the gates

[00:31:13] What the fuck is wrong with me

[00:31:15] Mark Maron would have been great

[00:31:19] It is as the

[00:31:20] Elite of Elizabeth Town

[00:31:22] He would have been great

[00:31:23] Honestly he's probably about the right age in 2005

[00:31:26] He's maybe a little older

[00:31:27] He's probably in his early 30s

[00:31:30] Mark Maron is now

[00:31:31] Mark Maron is a suicidal businessman

[00:31:34] Who is freaked out by southerners

[00:31:37] He'd be great

[00:31:39] I believe he's

[00:31:40] Go on go on go on

[00:31:42] I believe he's 13 years older than Irlanda Bloom

[00:31:46] If not more

[00:31:47] You know because of that interview where someone asked him how old are you

[00:31:50] And he's like 13 years older than Irlanda Bloom

[00:31:52] Yeah I'm doing the math in my head

[00:31:54] Because I looked up Irlanda Bloom's age last night

[00:31:57] I looked up the date he bloomed

[00:32:00] And Mark Maron mentions his age a lot

[00:32:02] How old is Mark Maron

[00:32:03] I believe he's 51

[00:32:05] Yeah okay so

[00:32:06] And Irlanda Bloom is like 37

[00:32:08] He's too old

[00:32:09] Here's the guy who would be my number one pick

[00:32:13] And unfortunately although he wasn't a stylish actor

[00:32:15] He's probably the only one who would have been in a place in his career where they would have done this

[00:32:18] He is older as well

[00:32:19] Who?

[00:32:20] But always you know drink it from that fountain of youth

[00:32:22] Could have pulled it off

[00:32:23] Rud?

[00:32:24] Yeah

[00:32:25] He'd probably be pretty good

[00:32:27] He'd probably be pretty good

[00:32:30] Rud struggles I would say with bland material

[00:32:33] And this film is somewhat

[00:32:35] I don't know if anyone could

[00:32:37] I mean

[00:32:38] I think someone could make this film 10% better

[00:32:40] Which would mean the film is still

[00:32:42] It would be 10% at 10%

[00:32:44] I would give it like 40

[00:32:45] No

[00:32:46] I would give it 0

[00:32:47] 0

[00:32:48] With a good performance elite I'd give it like 40%

[00:32:51] 0 out of what you ask

[00:32:53] A million

[00:32:54] Out of a billion

[00:32:55] Out of 972 million dollars

[00:32:58] I think

[00:32:59] It gets 0 dollars

[00:33:00] Cameron Crowe is you know not plot heavy

[00:33:03] He writes these films that are very character based

[00:33:06] And are really

[00:33:07] This film is not character based though

[00:33:08] That's the problem

[00:33:09] In theory

[00:33:10] Right

[00:33:11] But he writes these films that are

[00:33:13] Like meant to be carried by a movie star

[00:33:16] Someone who's got a deaf touch

[00:33:17] And is for a very behavioral

[00:33:19] And charismatic

[00:33:20] And off hand

[00:33:21] And like Orlando Bloom cannot do any of that

[00:33:24] Let's talk about the biggest problem in this film

[00:33:26] Uh

[00:33:27] His American accent in this film

[00:33:30] Oh boy

[00:33:31] It is a nightmare

[00:33:32] Here's how I would describe it

[00:33:33] Her accent's bad too P.S

[00:33:35] Yeah she commits to it less

[00:33:37] Which weirdly makes it

[00:33:39] Better

[00:33:40] She's playing it really hard

[00:33:42] The first couple scenes is tough

[00:33:43] And then it kind of like fades away

[00:33:44] For a lot of the movie

[00:33:45] But it's less jarring because

[00:33:47] I think her performance is actually good

[00:33:49] In a character that doesn't work

[00:33:51] I think she's actually very good in the film

[00:33:53] Performance is horrible

[00:33:54] I think she's good in the film

[00:33:56] No

[00:33:57] She's not

[00:33:58] We'll get to this

[00:33:59] I think your Sundance is a great actress

[00:34:00] But she's bad in this film

[00:34:01] We'll get to this

[00:34:02] I think she's good in the film

[00:34:03] No

[00:34:04] Orlando Bloom

[00:34:05] I believe I would describe his accent

[00:34:07] In this film as

[00:34:08] That of a talking tugboat

[00:34:11] From a Nick Jr. cartoon

[00:34:13] Okay

[00:34:14] You know how like fucking

[00:34:15] Talk in vehicles on kid shows

[00:34:18] Have to like enunciate everything

[00:34:20] And be as like inoffensive

[00:34:21] And friendly as possible

[00:34:22] It's like oh no

[00:34:24] The bridge is coming down

[00:34:26] Come on tugger

[00:34:27] We gotta sail fast

[00:34:29] Right

[00:34:30] That's sort of how Orlando Bloom

[00:34:31] Talks in this movie

[00:34:32] Yeah that's a good call

[00:34:33] Right

[00:34:34] I'm fine

[00:34:35] I'm fine

[00:34:36] I'm doing alright

[00:34:37] Look I gotta be honest

[00:34:38] My dad just died

[00:34:40] He's bad

[00:34:41] So Kiki Dunst is also bad

[00:34:44] She's bad in the film

[00:34:46] It's not entirely her fault

[00:34:47] It's a horrible character

[00:34:48] It's a horrible character

[00:34:49] But I would say she's worse

[00:34:52] Than Natalie Portman

[00:34:53] Who did a similar role

[00:34:54] The year before

[00:34:55] Strongly disagree

[00:34:56] No

[00:34:57] I mean Natalie's bad too

[00:34:59] I greatly prefer this performance

[00:35:00] Garden State's a much better

[00:35:03] Film than this film

[00:35:04] And I don't like Garden State

[00:35:05] Agreed it's weird how similar

[00:35:06] They are in a lot of ways

[00:35:07] Yeah but Garden State's actually well

[00:35:09] Well made in a sort of way

[00:35:11] Like it actually has

[00:35:12] Very obvious one on one film school

[00:35:14] Like sort of visual shit

[00:35:16] But like at least that something

[00:35:18] This movie has nothing

[00:35:19] Movie is zero

[00:35:20] See I don't hate this movie

[00:35:21] As much as you do

[00:35:22] I hate this movie

[00:35:23] There are elements of this movie

[00:35:24] I like which make it more

[00:35:25] Frustrating for me

[00:35:26] I was very aggravated

[00:35:28] Watching this movie

[00:35:29] But there are pieces that I like

[00:35:30] It maybe speaks to my willingness

[00:35:32] To buy into the crow thing

[00:35:33] More than you are

[00:35:35] Because I want to believe

[00:35:37] You're the sully to my molder

[00:35:39] On the crow front perhaps

[00:35:40] Scully I think

[00:35:41] Not sully

[00:35:42] I'm not like an air pilot

[00:35:44] Who landed a plane in the Oods

[00:35:47] Isn't that show about David DeCovne

[00:35:48] And the monster from Monsters Inc

[00:35:51] Investigating aliens together

[00:35:52] I like my version better

[00:35:55] Well we could combine them

[00:35:56] Someone throughout the other day

[00:35:58] I can't remember what it was

[00:35:59] Some idea of something

[00:36:00] Oh here's a thought I've had

[00:36:02] Do you think there's a scene

[00:36:04] In Clint Eastwood's Tom Hanks

[00:36:07] Starring sully sullenberger

[00:36:08] Biopic sully

[00:36:09] It's called sully

[00:36:11] That's so funny

[00:36:12] I go on yeah

[00:36:13] Is there scene that

[00:36:14] Do you think there's a scene in sully

[00:36:15] Where sully goes to see flight

[00:36:17] In theaters and is like

[00:36:18] Oh I can nail this

[00:36:20] I'm not even drunk

[00:36:21] No but that movie came out after

[00:36:22] And was so clearly based on him

[00:36:24] Oh was it?

[00:36:25] Okay

[00:36:26] Oh and he's just annoyed

[00:36:27] It's just like

[00:36:28] I guess that fucks up

[00:36:29] My chance is very getting a biopic

[00:36:30] It's like 50% of the story

[00:36:32] Is kind of been told already

[00:36:33] Who's my John Goodman?

[00:36:36] Looks like it's

[00:36:37] Well no I mean

[00:36:38] Air Nucker is playing the

[00:36:40] Brian Garrity role

[00:36:42] I don't know who his Goodman is

[00:36:44] I've never seen flight

[00:36:46] I don't watch movies about plane scratching

[00:36:48] Oh right you hate plane

[00:36:49] Yeah

[00:36:50] That's why you like

[00:36:51] Say anything because it ends with them being

[00:36:53] In the clear

[00:36:54] I do I was thinking about

[00:36:55] Say anything when I was on a plane recently

[00:36:57] Anyway

[00:36:58] Chris and Dunce

[00:36:59] I mean here's the thing

[00:37:00] And maybe it's you know like

[00:37:01] And I really do like

[00:37:02] Chris and Dunce

[00:37:03] And this was

[00:37:04] She'd just been in a journal sunshine

[00:37:05] Yeah

[00:37:06] She was just about to be in Mary Antoinette

[00:37:07] Or just come out

[00:37:08] I think she's giving a lot of great performances

[00:37:10] I believe

[00:37:11] Eternal

[00:37:12] In 2004 she had

[00:37:13] Eternal Sunshine

[00:37:14] Spider-Man 2

[00:37:15] And Mary Antoinette

[00:37:16] I believe those were all in the same year

[00:37:17] Marie was in 2005

[00:37:18] No you're right

[00:37:19] Marie was 2005

[00:37:20] You're correct

[00:37:21] I'm sorry I apologize

[00:37:22] I think I'll look it up now

[00:37:23] I believe you're correct

[00:37:24] I believe that was 2005

[00:37:25] Keep talking

[00:37:26] She's also I think

[00:37:27] About to be gripped by like

[00:37:28] Terrible

[00:37:29] Life circumstances

[00:37:30] Like she's in the

[00:37:31] I think she's

[00:37:32] She was such a go for it well

[00:37:33] I don't know if

[00:37:34] What are the circumstances

[00:37:35] I'm not familiar

[00:37:36] She went to rehab

[00:37:37] She's you know

[00:37:38] She's had some troubles

[00:37:39] Yeah

[00:37:40] With substances

[00:37:41] Oh okay

[00:37:42] Which is you know

[00:37:43] Like no judgment here

[00:37:44] But I think that was

[00:37:45] There was a dip in her career

[00:37:46] For a while where she was

[00:37:47] Taking it easy

[00:37:48] She was laying low

[00:37:49] For a little while after this

[00:37:50] Okay

[00:37:51] Oh Mary Antoinette is 2006

[00:37:52] Oh wow

[00:37:53] And then Spider-Man 3

[00:37:54] Is 2007

[00:37:55] And then after that

[00:37:56] Is when she kind of

[00:37:57] Goes off the grid

[00:37:58] She goes for a while

[00:37:59] And she comes back with

[00:38:00] All good things

[00:38:01] Which you know whatever

[00:38:02] Had been shot much earlier

[00:38:03] Right

[00:38:04] Was on the shelf for a long time

[00:38:05] So it's really

[00:38:06] She comes back with Mel and Collie

[00:38:07] Yeah

[00:38:08] In 2011

[00:38:09] And she's been throwing

[00:38:10] Heat since then

[00:38:11] Yeah totally

[00:38:12] But I mean so that's the thing

[00:38:13] It's like this is the tail end

[00:38:14] Of her big star run

[00:38:15] Which I guess started with

[00:38:16] Spider-Man

[00:38:17] But had been sort of

[00:38:18] The groundwork had been

[00:38:19] Like bring it on

[00:38:20] Bring it on

[00:38:21] Crazy beautiful

[00:38:22] These very nice little

[00:38:23] Performances

[00:38:24] She turned into

[00:38:25] A little bit

[00:38:26] Of a movie

[00:38:27] She turned down the village

[00:38:28] As we talked about in the past

[00:38:29] To do this film

[00:38:30] She dropped out of the village

[00:38:31] She was in it

[00:38:32] Through pre-production

[00:38:33] Pulled out

[00:38:34] To do this film instead

[00:38:35] I don't know if it's just

[00:38:36] Like having a bucket of

[00:38:38] Pist to drink in the middle

[00:38:39] Of a Sahara

[00:38:40] But I think like

[00:38:47] Can I say this is

[00:38:48] A good performance

[00:38:49] Like

[00:38:50] You can say whatever

[00:38:51] You want

[00:38:52] You can say anything

[00:38:53] Thank you

[00:38:55] Singles

[00:38:57] Vanilla Skas

[00:39:00] I forgot we did that

[00:39:03] I think

[00:39:05] She is

[00:39:07] At least

[00:39:08] Doing

[00:39:09] The very

[00:39:11] Crucial thing that

[00:39:13] Orlando Bloom is incapable of doing

[00:39:15] Which is just

[00:39:16] Be kind of charming and fun and light

[00:39:18] I think that's

[00:39:19] I guess what she's going for

[00:39:21] I watch her in this

[00:39:22] And I go

[00:39:23] This is pretty good

[00:39:24] Like you are a movie star

[00:39:25] No

[00:39:26] I watch her in this

[00:39:27] And I'm like

[00:39:28] I want to move to a place

[00:39:29] Where there are no people

[00:39:30] I think that's the character

[00:39:32] What

[00:39:33] She makes me want to

[00:39:34] Rip my skin off

[00:39:35] I think as written

[00:39:36] What

[00:39:37] You got a defense

[00:39:38] I don't think anyone could play it

[00:39:40] In a way where you would

[00:39:41] Appreciate the performance

[00:39:43] That's probably true

[00:39:45] Right

[00:39:46] It would be tough to make

[00:39:47] This character likeable

[00:39:48] Yeah

[00:39:49] But nonetheless

[00:39:51] You know

[00:39:52] Here's Kiki Dunst

[00:39:53] Who they gave me

[00:39:54] That's who I got

[00:39:55] I didn't like it

[00:39:56] Yeah

[00:39:57] I think she's better than Orlando Bloom

[00:39:59] Yeah

[00:40:00] But

[00:40:01] You know

[00:40:02] So here's the weird thing of this movie

[00:40:03] Is that

[00:40:04] Orlando Bloom is like not a character at all

[00:40:06] Right

[00:40:07] He's just a guy who's sad

[00:40:08] As an actor

[00:40:09] You're essentially being given one task

[00:40:11] Which is

[00:40:12] Show in the way you carry yourself

[00:40:14] The look in your eyes

[00:40:15] All these things

[00:40:16] That you are a man really

[00:40:18] Questioning your desire to live another day

[00:40:19] To live

[00:40:20] Right

[00:40:21] Yeah

[00:40:22] But also because it's romantic comedy

[00:40:23] Find a way to still be engaging

[00:40:26] To be romantic

[00:40:27] To be all of this

[00:40:28] While carrying those two things

[00:40:29] Right

[00:40:30] It's something I think

[00:40:31] Like someone like Rudd

[00:40:33] Can do

[00:40:34] Rudd might have been good

[00:40:35] But you know I do think of Rudd

[00:40:36] And how do you know

[00:40:37] Which I feel like is

[00:40:38] Is sort of

[00:40:39] Similar films to this

[00:40:40] Similar DNA to this movie

[00:40:41] Is a much better performance

[00:40:42] Of a very similar type of character

[00:40:44] It's certainly a better performance

[00:40:45] By Miles

[00:40:46] Yes

[00:40:47] But you know it's not like

[00:40:48] Rudd's best performance

[00:40:50] No, Rudd's best performances

[00:40:51] Are in good movies

[00:40:52] Yeah

[00:40:53] You know

[00:40:54] That's the thing

[00:40:55] It's like

[00:40:56] That's what I'm saying

[00:40:57] We're sort of crap shooting around

[00:40:58] It's like

[00:40:59] Yeah, I mean people could have been better

[00:41:00] Than Orlando Bloom

[00:41:01] But I don't know if anyone would have

[00:41:02] Really been good

[00:41:03] Wait, I mean it would have fixed

[00:41:06] One of the essential problems

[00:41:08] Of this film

[00:41:09] Orlando Bloom

[00:41:10] To have someone who is able

[00:41:12] To act

[00:41:13] He's one of the essential problems

[00:41:14] Yes

[00:41:15] Totally

[00:41:16] But his character is

[00:41:17] All this like

[00:41:18] Feeling and the sort of back story

[00:41:20] Of his family

[00:41:21] I guess

[00:41:22] The failure

[00:41:23] The shoe

[00:41:24] But he has no personality

[00:41:25] No

[00:41:26] Well this is the thing

[00:41:27] The film

[00:41:28] Alright so

[00:41:29] I'm gonna start on the plot

[00:41:30] Kirsten Dunn says the inverse of that

[00:41:31] I'm gonna start on the plot

[00:41:32] She's all like affectation

[00:41:33] And she has no actual character

[00:41:35] No character

[00:41:36] But she's just there

[00:41:37] No in her life

[00:41:38] For him

[00:41:39] He's like just in her life

[00:41:40] And he has no outer life

[00:41:41] She has no outer life

[00:41:42] She's just there for him

[00:41:43] But you know what I'm saying

[00:41:44] They're each half a character

[00:41:45] They're each half of a shitty character

[00:41:46] No, he is half a character

[00:41:47] She is no character

[00:41:48] There is one half of one character

[00:41:50] Between the two of them

[00:41:51] That's what's going on

[00:41:52] I think she is

[00:41:54] No character

[00:41:55] She's just a reflection

[00:41:56] Of his needs and desires

[00:41:58] Like she's just

[00:41:59] I think she's a box

[00:42:00] And I think he's a bunch of like

[00:42:02] Is he around room

[00:42:03] Fucking movie

[00:42:05] I think he's a bunch of like

[00:42:07] Fucking like loose

[00:42:09] Loose bullshit

[00:42:10] You know

[00:42:11] Yeah sure

[00:42:12] He's just like a bag of like parts

[00:42:14] But there's not even a bag

[00:42:15] There's a bunch of parts line

[00:42:16] On the floor

[00:42:17] Okay so here's the plot of the film

[00:42:19] Drew Baylor

[00:42:20] A hot shot shoe designer

[00:42:22] Yeah I don't like that name

[00:42:23] No

[00:42:24] No no

[00:42:26] Is this the movie you hate most

[00:42:28] Of all the movies we've talked about

[00:42:29] On this show

[00:42:31] Maybe

[00:42:32] Yeah maybe

[00:42:33] It feels like

[00:42:34] I really hate Revenge of the Sith

[00:42:35] But more because of like

[00:42:37] You know I love Star Wars

[00:42:39] And I feel like that one

[00:42:40] Kind of pisses me off the most

[00:42:41] But I don't think I hate it

[00:42:42] Nearly as much as this movie

[00:42:43] Well Betrayed

[00:42:44] You know the trust

[00:42:45] We had invested after Phantom

[00:42:46] All that right right

[00:42:47] I feel like there's some shummelin' movie

[00:42:49] That made me this angry though

[00:42:50] Yeah Lady in the Water

[00:42:51] Oh yeah which I love

[00:42:54] But Lady in the Water was at least

[00:42:55] Like had that kind of

[00:42:57] Sort of stupefying element

[00:42:59] It was a tough watch

[00:43:00] Yeah

[00:43:01] It was a tough watch

[00:43:02] But that's what I'm saying

[00:43:03] Like isn't it fascinating to you

[00:43:04] That like if someone describes you

[00:43:05] The plot of Lady in the Water

[00:43:06] You go like

[00:43:07] Yeah I can see how that movie is

[00:43:08] A disaster

[00:43:09] Yeah but I'm interested to see

[00:43:10] What that looks like

[00:43:11] But someone describes you

[00:43:12] Like the plot of Elizabeth Town

[00:43:13] You go like

[00:43:14] How bad could it be

[00:43:15] It just not

[00:43:16] It's not very effective

[00:43:17] Someone describes the plot of that movie to me

[00:43:18] And my reaction is like

[00:43:19] Oh I'll skip that

[00:43:20] That doesn't sound interesting

[00:43:21] Which is exactly what I did

[00:43:23] You know it was kinda like

[00:43:24] They described like

[00:43:25] Ah it's like a mopey thing

[00:43:26] Where his dad dies

[00:43:27] And he meets this cute girl

[00:43:28] And like

[00:43:29] And I was just like

[00:43:30] And is it good

[00:43:31] And they were like

[00:43:32] No it's really bad

[00:43:33] And I was like

[00:43:34] Okay so then forget it

[00:43:35] Like that just sounds boring

[00:43:36] Yeah I just don't want to see

[00:43:37] Because I see I like mopey movies

[00:43:38] When people come into terms with stuff

[00:43:39] Ugh

[00:43:40] I think the last kiss

[00:43:41] Was right around this point

[00:43:42] Yeah I never saw that one

[00:43:43] To see another BRAF movie

[00:43:44] Which I did see

[00:43:45] Because I had to review it

[00:43:46] For the college newspaper

[00:43:47] And that's one of the most

[00:43:49] Hainist movies I've ever seen

[00:43:50] And I remember

[00:43:51] Like it's very similar

[00:43:52] Very similar

[00:43:53] Upper middle class white guy

[00:43:54] Has some problem

[00:43:55] Well this is the thing

[00:43:56] That Ben was getting at

[00:43:57] It's like Cameron Crowe

[00:43:58] Is maybe the whitest filmmaker

[00:43:59] Of all time

[00:44:00] Oh boy

[00:44:01] You know

[00:44:02] I do

[00:44:03] In a lot of ways

[00:44:04] Yes

[00:44:05] In sort of every sense

[00:44:06] Yes

[00:44:07] And he makes

[00:44:08] Like you know

[00:44:09] And this is the

[00:44:10] The top of the heap

[00:44:12] Which is funny

[00:44:13] Because

[00:44:14] Yeah no this is the

[00:44:15] Anyway carry on

[00:44:16] No I just think that

[00:44:17] You know

[00:44:19] There's a big cultural conversation

[00:44:20] Going on

[00:44:21] That are like

[00:44:22] Hey less movies about this

[00:44:23] Right

[00:44:24] About like good looking white guys

[00:44:26] Right

[00:44:27] Who like have

[00:44:28] Like come from like a solid background

[00:44:30] And experience some sort of

[00:44:32] Like small failure

[00:44:33] And completely self destruct

[00:44:35] Sure

[00:44:36] And go like woe is me

[00:44:37] For the entire film

[00:44:38] You know

[00:44:39] Billion dollars though

[00:44:40] Not good

[00:44:41] Not good

[00:44:42] So that's

[00:44:44] Let me continue with the plot

[00:44:45] Drew Baylor

[00:44:46] Hit shoe designer

[00:44:47] Moving the mic around

[00:44:48] Although he's ever designed

[00:44:49] A shoe before

[00:44:50] I guess

[00:44:51] It feels like

[00:44:52] There's no context

[00:44:53] Recruited him just to do this one shoe

[00:44:54] There's no context

[00:44:55] I do love the opening of this movie

[00:44:57] The opening at least

[00:44:58] In a good move

[00:44:59] Like you know

[00:45:00] The opening could be good

[00:45:01] The first five minutes

[00:45:02] I was like

[00:45:03] At least you're interested

[00:45:04] The opening like two shots are good

[00:45:05] Or the truck pulling up

[00:45:06] And then

[00:45:07] They open up the gates

[00:45:09] They unlock the gates

[00:45:11] Unlock the gates

[00:45:13] He didn't say that

[00:45:14] That's the opening line of the film

[00:45:16] And then they see all the boxes

[00:45:19] That are like return

[00:45:20] And they go like

[00:45:21] And then he goes on this speech

[00:45:22] About the difference between a failure

[00:45:23] And a fiasco

[00:45:24] Then a fiasco

[00:45:25] Which is like ambition

[00:45:26] Which is the line that

[00:45:27] My former colleague Nathan Raven

[00:45:29] Borrowed

[00:45:30] To do his My Year of Flops

[00:45:32] Uh

[00:45:33] Franchise

[00:45:34] Whatever

[00:45:35] A feature

[00:45:36] The V club where he

[00:45:37] And this is the first movie

[00:45:38] And this is where he

[00:45:39] You know

[00:45:40] Manic Pixie Dream Girl

[00:45:41] Blah blah blah

[00:45:42] All that came from that

[00:45:43] And yeah this movie is a fiasco

[00:45:44] That line is good

[00:45:46] Where it's like the difference

[00:45:47] Fiasco is something where

[00:45:48] It's so bad that other people are happy

[00:45:50] Because it didn't happen to them

[00:45:52] But just to see you

[00:45:53] Yeah

[00:45:54] Um

[00:45:55] And this sort of confounding sense of like

[00:45:57] How was this allowed to happen?

[00:45:59] How could this possibly happen?

[00:46:00] So he I guess lost a billion dollars

[00:46:02] At this shoe company making a really bad shoe

[00:46:04] Baldwin

[00:46:05] Alec Baldwin who's tremendous

[00:46:06] Really good in this movie

[00:46:07] He's always good

[00:46:08] Yeah

[00:46:09] He's always good

[00:46:10] But this was that weird period where he was like

[00:46:12] Hadn't come into 30 Rock yet

[00:46:13] So he was just sort of like

[00:46:14] Hollywood had hit on him

[00:46:15] It's like you know what

[00:46:16] Alec Baldwin can be fat

[00:46:17] Why doesn't he just fat?

[00:46:19] I'm serious

[00:46:20] He'd already gotten his Oscar nomination right

[00:46:22] Because the cooler I think is 0-3

[00:46:23] 2003

[00:46:24] Correct

[00:46:25] And so it was like this sort of thing

[00:46:26] Where we had to all remember

[00:46:27] That Alec Baldwin's very funny and dry

[00:46:29] Has like a really like

[00:46:31] Like unique sort of

[00:46:33] Screen presence

[00:46:34] He'd been in like shit

[00:46:35] Like a long game Polly

[00:46:36] But like you know he was sort of

[00:46:37] Popping up

[00:46:38] But look he's best when he's mean

[00:46:40] He's best when he's mean

[00:46:41] He's best when he's fat

[00:46:42] Agreed

[00:46:43] And he's a character actor

[00:46:44] He's a character actor

[00:46:45] And this is the thing

[00:46:46] Like you see a movie like Mary to the Mob

[00:46:47] Which she has a small part in

[00:46:49] He's hysterical

[00:46:50] He's so funny

[00:46:51] Yeah

[00:46:52] Then of course Hollywood

[00:46:53] You know Hollywood tries to

[00:46:54] You know put him in the big movies

[00:46:56] And he's not that interesting

[00:46:57] I think there's exactly one good

[00:46:59] Conventional like leading Alec Baldwin performance

[00:47:03] Hunts for right October

[00:47:04] Oh yeah

[00:47:05] He's alright

[00:47:06] He's alright in that

[00:47:07] No I was gonna argue Beetlejuice

[00:47:08] I wouldn't call it

[00:47:09] That's a character performance

[00:47:10] Well that's why I think it's good

[00:47:11] Yeah

[00:47:12] He's the lead in the film

[00:47:13] He's the lead in that film

[00:47:14] Yeah kind of

[00:47:15] Everyone is supporting in that film

[00:47:17] Except for Winona

[00:47:18] I think he's good in that film

[00:47:19] Because he's playing a dork

[00:47:20] He's wonderful

[00:47:21] Anytime you ask him to be like

[00:47:22] The handsome charming guy

[00:47:23] Hunts for right October

[00:47:24] Is the best of those

[00:47:25] He's alright in Hunts for right October

[00:47:26] But there's

[00:47:27] But you look at it and you go

[00:47:28] Okay I get why he didn't

[00:47:29] Ever really click this way

[00:47:30] I like him in the edge

[00:47:32] Yeah

[00:47:33] Oh with the bear

[00:47:34] And the beard

[00:47:35] BJ and the bear

[00:47:36] BJ and the beard

[00:47:37] Yeah yeah the edge is fun

[00:47:38] Because he's a dick in it

[00:47:40] Yeah that was the one

[00:47:41] That's the one that what just happened

[00:47:42] Is about right

[00:47:43] Yes

[00:47:44] The edge yeah

[00:47:45] Have you gentlemen been watching Match Game

[00:47:47] No he's the host

[00:47:49] It is a stellar

[00:47:51] I know I've been hearing it's great

[00:47:52] He's of television

[00:47:53] I cannot recommend it enough

[00:47:55] Here's my favorite element of the film

[00:47:57] Of the series rather

[00:47:59] Alec Baldwin has just stopped pretending

[00:48:02] That he's not a miserable mean person

[00:48:04] So he just is a miserable mean person

[00:48:06] Because even like the character actor mode

[00:48:07] He would like be playing mean people

[00:48:09] And then he'd like get caught saying something publicly

[00:48:11] You know something awful

[00:48:12] And then he'd be like

[00:48:13] I'm not that person

[00:48:14] It was moving away

[00:48:15] Yeah now he's just leaning in

[00:48:17] On Match Game he just makes fun of like

[00:48:18] Everyone answers it goes

[00:48:19] That's a terrible answer you're an idiot

[00:48:21] It's great

[00:48:22] That sounds good

[00:48:23] It really was the cooler

[00:48:24] Because before then we had glimpses

[00:48:26] Like in state of Maine he's quite funny

[00:48:28] Yeah

[00:48:29] But then he's also like in Pearl Harbor

[00:48:31] And that's awful

[00:48:32] His best performance up to that point was

[00:48:34] Glengarry Glen Ross

[00:48:36] He's so good in that

[00:48:37] Right and people would like of course

[00:48:39] Be like why don't we see this guy

[00:48:41] Because that's a character role

[00:48:42] It's an aversion or so

[00:48:43] That's another great one

[00:48:44] And then so yeah

[00:48:46] He'd had his hot year with a long came

[00:48:48] Poly in the aviator

[00:48:49] Like you know he was back

[00:48:51] You know

[00:48:52] Yeah well the thing that saved him was SNL

[00:48:55] Yeah no of course

[00:48:57] Just being on SNL and Schweddy Balls

[00:48:59] And he would be so funny on him

[00:49:00] People would be like why is he so shitty

[00:49:02] The rest of the time he'd go on this

[00:49:03] I mean this that's what Tina Fey taps into

[00:49:04] And 30 Rocks starts

[00:49:05] You know 5 or 06

[00:49:07] I can't remember

[00:49:08] Oh 5

[00:49:09] 06

[00:49:10] He gets divorced

[00:49:11] He gets sad

[00:49:12] He gets fat

[00:49:13] And then suddenly he gets good

[00:49:14] Well there's the Ireland Baldwin phone call

[00:49:15] Yeah

[00:49:16] Yeah

[00:49:17] Anyway

[00:49:18] He has a great like you know

[00:49:20] Great small role

[00:49:21] One scene performance where he is sort of calm

[00:49:23] And you're kind of hanging on this guy's words

[00:49:26] I think it's pretty like

[00:49:27] And Bloom has drew

[00:49:29] And Bloom has set up

[00:49:30] He's like this sort of weirdo CEO

[00:49:32] With like twos

[00:49:33] You know everything is in pairs

[00:49:34] I think it's pretty directly based on Phil Knight

[00:49:36] Who's the CEO of Nike

[00:49:38] And is like an Oregon guy

[00:49:40] Sure

[00:49:41] And founded Leica films

[00:49:43] Right

[00:49:44] And pays for all those movies out of pocket

[00:49:45] Because he just believes in stop motion animation

[00:49:47] Because his son likes stop motion animation

[00:49:49] I know and the Leica's great

[00:49:51] But the scene where Alec Baldwin is like

[00:49:53] Alec Baldwin has this great scene where he's explaining to him

[00:49:55] How much money has been lost

[00:49:57] Right

[00:49:58] And he's got the great line where he goes like

[00:50:00] Nearly a billion dollars

[00:50:01] I don't know how to explain to you how much money this is

[00:50:03] And it's clear that like

[00:50:05] He gets it and then he gives on this tour of all the

[00:50:07] All the things that have to go

[00:50:09] Right and Phil Knight's kind of a guy who like

[00:50:11] Sets up different projects with his money like that

[00:50:13] Um

[00:50:14] And then he offers them up for the slaughter

[00:50:16] To do this interview

[00:50:18] You're a reporter, yeah

[00:50:19] Yeah

[00:50:20] Basically that's that

[00:50:21] So

[00:50:22] And Jessica Beale who's his ex-girlfriend

[00:50:24] Who they've been on the outs

[00:50:25] Is like

[00:50:26] Showing him around it's clear

[00:50:27] She has no part in this movie

[00:50:29] No she doesn't

[00:50:30] I'm just saying that Phil is setting up that he's fired

[00:50:32] They're doing this interview

[00:50:34] That's gonna come out

[00:50:35] And it's gonna publicly shame him

[00:50:36] I get you

[00:50:37] And his girlfriend

[00:50:38] You know

[00:50:39] Who already was distant

[00:50:40] Has now lost all interest in him

[00:50:42] Yeah so anyway

[00:50:43] It's basically a carbon copy of Jerry McGuire

[00:50:45] So I don't know why he did that

[00:50:47] It's a stupid idea to do it again

[00:50:49] And you do the opening narration as well

[00:50:50] And you do a lot of first person camera work

[00:50:53] To everyone looking at him

[00:50:55] He already did this better

[00:50:57] I don't know

[00:50:58] And also he's

[00:50:59] Cameron Crowe is writing a movie about his dad dying

[00:51:02] Right and grief

[00:51:03] But for some reason

[00:51:05] He can't survive without this crutch of like

[00:51:07] I'm gonna make it about a guy who's on the bottom rung

[00:51:10] Then he gets knocked lower

[00:51:11] Like

[00:51:12] Yeah

[00:51:13] It's

[00:51:14] I would say too

[00:51:15] The main thing that confuses me is

[00:51:16] Why isn't this an app?

[00:51:18] Why is it shoes?

[00:51:19] Well it's 2000

[00:51:21] 2000

[00:51:22] Oh right

[00:51:23] I don't know

[00:51:24] I feel like every office

[00:51:26] Like movie should just be about apps now

[00:51:29] I do kinda like that it's shoes

[00:51:31] But Ben you're always obsessed with 90s technology

[00:51:33] Yeah they got some good flip phones in this movie

[00:51:35] Oh don't you get me started

[00:51:37] That's true

[00:51:38] Ever were you able to

[00:51:39] With some custom ringtone

[00:51:40] Yeah man

[00:51:41] I was like

[00:51:42] Alright

[00:51:43] Here's a difference between

[00:51:44] End of fucking

[00:51:45] There's a suicide cycle

[00:51:46] Yeah

[00:51:47] Classic 90s technology

[00:51:49] But talk about the lower rung thing

[00:51:51] There's a difference between this character and Jerry Maguire

[00:51:53] It's a fatal difference okay

[00:51:55] This character is just giving up

[00:51:57] Yeah sure he's gonna kill himself

[00:51:59] And he's inert and he just doesn't want to fight anymore

[00:52:01] He just goes

[00:52:02] Okay I fucked up

[00:52:03] And it's a character who has no agency whatsoever

[00:52:05] Because he just doesn't give a shit anymore

[00:52:07] So here's the thing

[00:52:08] And something I really hate in movies

[00:52:10] Is movies that try to be cute

[00:52:12] About suicide

[00:52:13] Agreed

[00:52:14] Because

[00:52:15] You know it's fine to obviously explore these things

[00:52:18] But like

[00:52:19] There is literally nothing cuter

[00:52:22] Than oh he's gonna put a knife

[00:52:24] On a bicycle that'll stab him to death

[00:52:27] Like

[00:52:28] He would have to be

[00:52:29] I mean look

[00:52:30] I suppose you could say like

[00:52:32] Orlando Bloom is playing this character

[00:52:34] Like he's basically catatonic right

[00:52:36] He's gone through something so crazy

[00:52:38] Losing all this money for his company

[00:52:40] Getting fired and publicly humiliated

[00:52:41] That he's like emotionless right

[00:52:43] I don't think that was a deliberate thought

[00:52:45] I don't know if that was either

[00:52:47] But the movie tries to play it that way

[00:52:49] By keeping cutting to like

[00:52:51] Bloom in a new location

[00:52:52] And he's like walking like a zombie right

[00:52:54] Like it's trying to make him look like a zombie

[00:52:56] I think it's just Orlando Bloom having a lack of pathos

[00:52:58] I think that's what it is

[00:53:00] I don't think this is what he's good at

[00:53:02] But when I'm

[00:53:03] Yes

[00:53:04] But anyway so when I'm watching a movie

[00:53:05] Of a guy strapping a knife to a bike

[00:53:07] And you know getting ready to die

[00:53:09] I'm not into

[00:53:11] Just him like you know like

[00:53:13] This movie has this like very obtrusive soundtrack

[00:53:15] You know music playing over the thing

[00:53:17] And Bloom's just like

[00:53:19] Okay this'll stab me

[00:53:21] Okay good phones ringing

[00:53:22] Don't you hate it when your phone's ringing

[00:53:24] When your knife's about to stab you in the chest

[00:53:26] Why doesn't he jump off a building

[00:53:28] Anything

[00:53:29] There's no urgency to even how miserable he is

[00:53:31] There's no urgency

[00:53:32] He doesn't seem emotional

[00:53:33] And the whole movie is sort of like

[00:53:35] What an inconvenience

[00:53:36] Well I can't wait to get back home and then kill myself

[00:53:38] But it doesn't feel like he's really suffering

[00:53:41] That much

[00:53:42] No it doesn't

[00:53:43] Most of the film you're like

[00:53:44] I'm gonna kill myself

[00:53:45] I'm gonna kill myself

[00:53:46] So at the end of the film when he's like

[00:53:48] I am gonna go kill myself

[00:53:50] You're like

[00:53:51] Oh you're still that thing still

[00:53:53] Yeah you don't believe it

[00:53:54] No and you don't even believe it in the moment

[00:53:56] When he's on the bicycle

[00:53:57] You don't

[00:53:58] There's no moment where you believe it

[00:53:59] Exactly

[00:54:00] He just seems like a potato

[00:54:01] Yeah he's a potato

[00:54:02] He's a hot potato

[00:54:03] He's a hot potato

[00:54:04] I mean

[00:54:05] Game recognized game

[00:54:06] Guy looks good in this movie

[00:54:07] He does

[00:54:08] And the hair is really on point

[00:54:10] His hair looks nice

[00:54:11] I just kept on thinking about that

[00:54:13] So who's on the other end of the phone?

[00:54:15] It's forever the sibling on the phone

[00:54:18] Judy Greer

[00:54:20] I swear to God

[00:54:21] This is like the 18th movie I've seen

[00:54:23] In which Judy Greer drops him for two scenes

[00:54:25] And is basically in the scenes like

[00:54:27] You understand why I can't be in the rest of the movie right?

[00:54:29] I'm just so busy with kids or something

[00:54:31] Anyway I love you bye

[00:54:33] You know and you're like

[00:54:34] Why are you wasting Judy Greer?

[00:54:35] Do you know what's crazy

[00:54:36] A crazyist about that to me

[00:54:40] This film

[00:54:41] It's from 2005

[00:54:43] Tragic County directed by Cameron Crow

[00:54:47] I remember

[00:54:48] When

[00:54:49] Before this film had screened at

[00:54:52] Toronto so disasterously

[00:54:54] It was just sort of on Oscar long list

[00:54:56] It was certainly

[00:54:57] I remember people going like

[00:54:59] Maybe Judy Greer in Elizabeth Town

[00:55:01] Because no one had seen it

[00:55:02] And they just went like

[00:55:03] She's such a good actress

[00:55:04] Feels like she's overdue for a breakout part

[00:55:06] I know what you're saying

[00:55:07] But I mean

[00:55:08] I remember

[00:55:09] People really thought Susan

[00:55:11] Sarandon was going to get an Oscar

[00:55:13] Both of them being thrown out

[00:55:14] And neither of them really have

[00:55:15] Fucking anything to do in this movie

[00:55:17] No

[00:55:18] Sarandon has this one fucking monologue

[00:55:19] That is insane

[00:55:20] It's awful

[00:55:21] And Judy Greer has like

[00:55:22] Less than nothing

[00:55:23] She has nothing

[00:55:24] But I remember people being like

[00:55:25] Oh Cameron Crowe's going to know

[00:55:26] What to do with Judy Greer

[00:55:27] We all see that Judy Greer is great

[00:55:29] I don't think she's been in her movie

[00:55:30] If he's already is she in vanilla sky

[00:55:33] Maybe for a moment

[00:55:35] Trying to remember

[00:55:36] I feel like

[00:55:37] Well she's in the village

[00:55:38] Yes

[00:55:39] Maybe I would just think into that

[00:55:40] She's great in adaptation

[00:55:43] Yeah

[00:55:44] She's in it for like 5 seconds

[00:55:46] Adaptation

[00:55:47] She's got like 4 scenes in that movie

[00:55:49] She's the waitress

[00:55:50] Yeah, she keeps on going back to the restaurant

[00:55:52] I know

[00:55:53] She's really good in that movie

[00:55:56] I just

[00:55:57] I find it fascinating that even like

[00:55:59] 11 years ago

[00:56:00] We were like

[00:56:01] When is someone going to write

[00:56:02] A real meaty part for Judy Greer

[00:56:03] And we're still fucking waiting

[00:56:05] I was saying it

[00:56:07] Yeah

[00:56:08] She's never even really gotten the right TV show

[00:56:11] I kind of like that one

[00:56:13] What was it? Mismatch?

[00:56:15] That was Alicia Silverstone

[00:56:17] What was it called? Miss

[00:56:19] Stake?

[00:56:20] Miss guided

[00:56:21] Yes

[00:56:22] That was like that was a flop

[00:56:24] Yeah I watched every episode though

[00:56:25] All seven

[00:56:26] Yeah

[00:56:27] Chris Barnes

[00:56:28] Yeah no no I remember

[00:56:30] I like that show

[00:56:32] I think you just like Greer

[00:56:33] I do but you know I remember

[00:56:35] I mean I enjoyed watching the show

[00:56:37] It was carried by Greer

[00:56:39] She was the X factor

[00:56:40] Miss guided

[00:56:41] Miss guided

[00:56:43] Generation X

[00:56:44] Generation Y meets generation Y not

[00:56:46] Was that the catcher?

[00:56:47] No that was the catcher

[00:56:48] It's for Accidentally On Purpose

[00:56:49] Which was a Jenna Elfman gets pregnant show

[00:56:52] Do you know Jenna Elfman has not had

[00:56:54] One series last past the first season

[00:56:56] Since Darman and Greg

[00:56:57] And she has been on

[00:56:58] I believe six

[00:56:59] Is that true?

[00:57:00] Yeah

[00:57:01] Did you know she's a Scientologist?

[00:57:02] I did

[00:57:03] Do you know that Jenna Elfman is in Krippendorf's tribe?

[00:57:06] Of course I know that

[00:57:07] I've seen that film

[00:57:08] Yeah

[00:57:09] It's bad

[00:57:10] Who has it?

[00:57:11] Most people

[00:57:13] Oh it's a weird movie

[00:57:14] Weird

[00:57:15] Weird movie though

[00:57:16] It's a weird movie

[00:57:17] We'll never get made today

[00:57:18] Should not have been made back then

[00:57:21] Both true

[00:57:22] Do you know that film is based on a fucking novel?

[00:57:24] A really weird novel

[00:57:25] A really gross sexy novel

[00:57:27] Yeah

[00:57:28] It's sexy?

[00:57:29] It's more sexually explicit than the film

[00:57:31] I don't read that

[00:57:33] Do you?

[00:57:34] I'm in

[00:57:35] Ben what do you think of this Krippendorf's tribe

[00:57:37] Road that we're going down?

[00:57:39] I don't even know what any of that means

[00:57:42] All I'm saying is I'm D-T-R-A-S-M

[00:57:44] She was on

[00:57:46] Down to read a sexy novel

[00:57:47] Cording Alex

[00:57:48] Yeah

[00:57:49] Accidentally On Purpose

[00:57:50] Yeah

[00:57:51] Damages

[00:57:52] 1600 pen

[00:57:54] Growing up Fisher

[00:57:55] Five

[00:57:56] Oh okay five

[00:57:57] That is crazy though

[00:57:58] And she's got a six one

[00:57:59] This fall

[00:58:00] Quite possibly

[00:58:01] Oh she does

[00:58:02] It's her and a computer animated imaginary friend

[00:58:05] Oh no

[00:58:07] Oh no

[00:58:08] That sounds terrible

[00:58:09] Yep

[00:58:10] Do you remember when Joey was on a show called Mac and Cheese

[00:58:13] And Friends

[00:58:14] And it was him and a robot called Cheese

[00:58:16] That was funny

[00:58:18] I thought you were going to say

[00:58:19] Do you remember when Joey was on a show called Joey?

[00:58:25] Yeah Joey was great

[00:58:26] Yeah

[00:58:27] It was about his adventures in Hollywood

[00:58:28] Yeah

[00:58:29] When people asked me why I dropped out of college I was like

[00:58:31] I made the same mistakes as NBC's Joey

[00:58:34] You took that thing that was

[00:58:35] You went to California too quick?

[00:58:36] Yeah

[00:58:37] Yeah

[00:58:38] Lost the entire core supporting cast

[00:58:40] That were clearly propping up the character

[00:58:42] The character did not work on his own

[00:58:44] It was all about environment with that guy

[00:58:48] Oh boy

[00:58:49] Yeah

[00:58:50] Anyway

[00:58:51] The film Elizabeth Town

[00:58:52] So he gets a call on the phone before the suicide

[00:58:55] And again I would love to know if he was supposed to pedal

[00:58:58] Repeatedly as it stabbed him over and over again

[00:59:01] Or if he was just going to deliver one stab wound to his heart

[00:59:04] I have to imagine it was a cycle

[00:59:05] I have to imagine he had to keep pedaling

[00:59:07] Well that's hard to imagine that someone would do that

[00:59:09] Even if they were, you know, gripped by the will to die

[00:59:13] Have you seen Lord of the Rings?

[00:59:14] That guy slides down an elephant trunk

[00:59:16] Come on

[00:59:17] Yeah

[00:59:18] Yeah he does do that

[00:59:19] Rides a shield like a god damn skateboard down a staircase

[00:59:21] Yeah he did that as well

[00:59:23] Fucking Legolas? You know this Legolas guy?

[00:59:26] Okay

[00:59:27] I do

[00:59:28] He's got fucking bows and arrows and spears

[00:59:30] Couple little daggers

[00:59:33] Great hair

[00:59:34] No

[00:59:35] Legolas?

[00:59:36] I hate that hair

[00:59:37] Great hair

[00:59:38] When I go to the barber I hold a picture of the Legolas

[00:59:41] And they say, I don't think we can pull this off

[00:59:48] When I go to the ear doctor I hold a picture of Legolas

[00:59:52] He's like I'm a doctor not a plastic surgeon

[00:59:55] I gotta change the shape of your ears

[00:59:58] Remember when he was in the Hobbit movies?

[01:00:01] Bloom

[01:00:02] Yeah you played Legolas

[01:00:03] He came back

[01:00:04] Do you know that?

[01:00:05] Do you know those films he plays Legolas?

[01:00:07] He does

[01:00:08] Yeah

[01:00:09] So

[01:00:10] Judy Greer is on the phone, his dad died

[01:00:13] Oh boy

[01:00:14] You know

[01:00:15] Yeah

[01:00:16] It's a bummer

[01:00:17] So he goes home to Oregon

[01:00:20] He's in Oregon probably already but he goes home

[01:00:22] Yes

[01:00:23] Because if he worked for quote unquote night

[01:00:26] Yes, he goes to see his mother and his sister

[01:00:29] He does

[01:00:30] You see Judy Greer on the phone right?

[01:00:33] Crying

[01:00:34] Then you see

[01:00:35] You cut to the three of them walking through an airport

[01:00:38] I think it's important to explain how little we see of these characters before

[01:00:42] Susan Sarandon's speech at the end

[01:00:44] Right

[01:00:45] We never see her

[01:00:46] We see her three times maybe

[01:00:48] The first you see of her

[01:00:49] And she's not emotive

[01:00:50] No, the first you see of her in the film

[01:00:51] She's going oh my god we got all these things to do this and that

[01:00:53] What are we gonna do about this?

[01:00:54] You have to deal with it

[01:00:55] And then she goes oh my god I'm a widow

[01:00:57] And it's like she hasn't thought about the fact

[01:00:58] Which I actually like that's what that experience is

[01:01:00] Not bad

[01:01:01] That scene is fine although Bloom is again not really holding the camera

[01:01:07] When he's on screen which is all the time

[01:01:10] I'd say the problem is the opposite

[01:01:11] It feels like he's holding the camera and not acting

[01:01:14] Well sure

[01:01:15] He's giving a performance with all the charisma of a camera operator

[01:01:19] And that he is moving in time with where the shot's supposed to be

[01:01:24] But other than that

[01:01:26] So the dad I guess died in his hometown

[01:01:30] He was Elizabeth town

[01:01:31] Louisville

[01:01:33] What?

[01:01:34] Louisville

[01:01:35] In Kentucky

[01:01:36] You mean lava?

[01:01:37] So Bloom has got to fly over to Kentucky

[01:01:42] What part of Kentucky?

[01:01:45] I don't know

[01:01:46] Lava

[01:01:48] Lava

[01:01:50] Okay

[01:01:52] Oh boy so he's got to do that

[01:01:54] Yeah

[01:01:55] And so he gets on a plane where he's like the only passenger

[01:01:58] How whimsical

[01:01:59] In the economy everyone else is in first class

[01:02:01] How whimsical

[01:02:03] You know those planes where first class sells out

[01:02:05] But every other section is empty

[01:02:07] You know when the Portland to Louisville flight sells out first class

[01:02:11] That overnight

[01:02:12] Portland to Louisville

[01:02:15] Red Eye

[01:02:17] We're the only people

[01:02:19] The fuck

[01:02:21] Are all the heavy rollers who want to fly in first

[01:02:27] Everyone's going to get a hot brown

[01:02:29] And bring it back for the morning

[01:02:31] What's a hot brown?

[01:02:32] It's a Kentucky delicacy

[01:02:34] I thought it was a poop

[01:02:38] Well it's fair enough

[01:02:40] So Kirsten Dons

[01:02:44] We have glimpsed for a second getting her stewardess

[01:02:47] Outfit on

[01:02:48] And what an outfit it is

[01:02:49] It seems like a normal stewardess outfit

[01:02:52] She's on his plane and she's like

[01:02:55] Please can we move you to first class

[01:02:57] She says congratulations sir

[01:02:58] Very great

[01:02:59] And he's like I don't want to

[01:03:01] And she's like look don't want to have to keep walking back

[01:03:03] So she moves him up to first class

[01:03:05] They chat

[01:03:06] She's trying to you know break down the barrier

[01:03:08] He's ignoring her

[01:03:09] Real hard

[01:03:10] He's giving her nothing

[01:03:11] She's spending a lot of time and energy on a guy

[01:03:13] A lot of four for the movie

[01:03:14] Yep

[01:03:15] Yeah that's what I mean I think she's fucking like

[01:03:17] Doing like Ginger Rogers dancing backwards

[01:03:19] No she's doing too much

[01:03:20] Too much

[01:03:21] That's the thing

[01:03:22] She's at 8000% and he's at zero

[01:03:24] You're like can we both be at 50 and get to 100

[01:03:27] Yeah I mean this sort of falls into the like

[01:03:29] Anne Hathaway James Franco Oscars thing

[01:03:32] Where it's like

[01:03:33] She looks worse because he's doing nothing

[01:03:35] Like she's trying too hard

[01:03:37] To overcompensate for what he's not doing

[01:03:40] I understand what you're saying

[01:03:42] I'm just she's bad

[01:03:43] I don't think it's bad

[01:03:44] I mean also it's a horribly written character

[01:03:45] I think it's a horribly written character

[01:03:46] She's yapping on about like

[01:03:47] I think she's very good in it

[01:03:49] I'm gonna stand by that

[01:03:50] That's stupid

[01:03:51] I think she's

[01:03:52] You know like the soldiers

[01:03:54] Storming the beach of Normandy

[01:03:56] She's doing the best in an impossible situation

[01:03:58] You can like an actor and think they're bad in a movie

[01:04:01] There are many cases of that I can throw out

[01:04:03] I mean for one

[01:04:04] You know what she's bad in

[01:04:05] All the Spider-Man movies

[01:04:07] I think she's good in two

[01:04:09] She's better in two

[01:04:10] Because everything's better

[01:04:11] I think she's very good in two

[01:04:12] No

[01:04:13] But she's better

[01:04:14] She's definitely

[01:04:15] Very good in two

[01:04:16] When she

[01:04:18] Yeah cause she really her romance with the astronaut

[01:04:20] Is really well explored

[01:04:21] I think she's low-vill in two

[01:04:26] She's dating an astronaut

[01:04:27] I'm losing my mind

[01:04:29] Hey do you guys remember the conversation

[01:04:31] They have on the plane

[01:04:32] Oh please tell me

[01:04:33] Well they talk about names

[01:04:35] Hey you know someone about names

[01:04:37] I have many

[01:04:38] How do you

[01:04:39] What do you think

[01:04:40] What do you think Kristen Donce would say about a Ben

[01:04:43] I feel like she'd be like

[01:04:44] He's like real deep

[01:04:45] Pretty complex guy

[01:04:48] Pretty unpredictable

[01:04:49] You never know what he's gonna say

[01:04:51] What he's gonna do

[01:04:52] That's what makes him a wild card

[01:04:55] Wait so

[01:04:56] Keeps you on the edge of your seat

[01:04:57] What is he gonna say next

[01:04:58] What are you gonna do baby

[01:04:59] I feel like

[01:05:02] I mean it's horrible

[01:05:03] Reductive human stereotyping

[01:05:05] Where she's like

[01:05:06] Oh all jacks are like this

[01:05:08] I never met a Brett who I didn't hate

[01:05:11] And Patricia's are untrustworthy

[01:05:13] What are we talking about

[01:05:15] Fucking Elizabeth Townsend 2005 tragic comedy

[01:05:17] Directed by Cameron Crow

[01:05:19] Tragic comedy

[01:05:22] So then he goes to Kentucky

[01:05:25] Love him

[01:05:26] She gives him all these directions

[01:05:28] She talks about people with their names

[01:05:30] She has him about his father

[01:05:31] He doesn't let on that his father's dead

[01:05:32] And she goes he sounds like a great guy

[01:05:34] The film feels like

[01:05:36] An annoying person is trying to bother you

[01:05:39] Because his performance is so shut down

[01:05:41] That it just is her going like

[01:05:43] Then you're gonna take a right here

[01:05:44] Then you're gonna take a left here

[01:05:45] And you're just like

[01:05:46] Dude just stop talking man

[01:05:48] He's not giving you anything

[01:05:50] Yeah I mean the successful version of this scene

[01:05:52] Happens a year earlier in Eternal Sunshine

[01:05:56] Where Jim Carrey is playing a guy

[01:05:58] Who's very shut down

[01:05:59] But with a lot of palpable pathos

[01:06:01] That make him interesting

[01:06:02] She's impressed

[01:06:03] I mean that movie I do fear

[01:06:04] Like oh if I watch that now

[01:06:06] Would I think like

[01:06:07] Oh what a sad white guy bastard movie this is

[01:06:09] But Jim Carrey's performance is terrific

[01:06:11] In Eternal Sunshine

[01:06:12] And Kate Winslet is playing a real character

[01:06:15] Someone who is struggling to find identity for herself

[01:06:18] And in the process creates a lot of external things

[01:06:21] Right but also that movie is an unhappy movie

[01:06:23] Whereas this movie is trying to be a happy movie

[01:06:25] Right

[01:06:26] You know that movie is not just about like

[01:06:27] And then you get the girl

[01:06:28] And then she makes you a map with a playlist

[01:06:31] And you do the playlist map

[01:06:33] Well not to keep comparing it to Jermaguar

[01:06:35] But Jermaguar is a guy who loses his way

[01:06:37] And tries to fight for what he believes in

[01:06:39] And along the way

[01:06:41] Has this relationship with this one

[01:06:42] Where he changes how he feels

[01:06:44] About the woman over time

[01:06:46] Over time and it feels earned

[01:06:48] This movie is

[01:06:49] A guy is miserable

[01:06:50] He wants to do nothing

[01:06:52] Right he just wants to fucking

[01:06:54] Go on that like fucking moving

[01:06:56] Like track way

[01:06:57] And then this woman is like

[01:06:59] I'm gonna commit my life

[01:07:01] To making him happier

[01:07:02] Right

[01:07:03] A stranger

[01:07:04] Besides to commit her life

[01:07:05] To making him happier

[01:07:06] For reasons that are

[01:07:09] I can't discern except for that Orlando Bloom

[01:07:12] Is cute and you want to pinch his cheek

[01:07:14] Yeah and he's the lead character in the film

[01:07:16] True

[01:07:17] Which is where the Manic Pixie Dream Girl thing comes in

[01:07:19] And also men need women to fix them

[01:07:22] Well 100%

[01:07:23] And I think like the cornerstone of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl thing

[01:07:26] Cause I feel like a lot of times it has

[01:07:28] Is misapplied

[01:07:29] Yeah it can be misapplied

[01:07:31] Towards other different shitty character types

[01:07:35] Yeah well also I was saying this to our friend Lux

[01:07:38] Today on Twitter like

[01:07:40] Sometimes it just means bad movie

[01:07:42] Like you know poorly written character

[01:07:44] It's not like oh you wrote a great Manic Pixie Dream Girl

[01:07:47] I loved that Manic

[01:07:49] Like it's a pejorative thing

[01:07:51] Yes 100%

[01:07:52] And the key to the Manic Pixie Dream Girl thing for me

[01:07:55] Is a woman who is so committed

[01:07:58] To making a guy's life

[01:08:00] For no reason other than that he's the main character in the film

[01:08:03] Yeah

[01:08:04] Like that is sort of narrative function

[01:08:06] Is to like show him what he didn't realize

[01:08:08] And pull him out of his whatever

[01:08:09] Which is what?

[01:08:10] That he's handsome and talented

[01:08:12] And like probably shouldn't kill himself

[01:08:14] Right after his dad dies and his family is sad

[01:08:17] Like what if his dad dies his family is sad

[01:08:20] And he's in the movie like you said

[01:08:21] He's like well I'm gonna take care of this

[01:08:23] And then get right back on that bike

[01:08:24] That's like a line

[01:08:25] It's like wait

[01:08:26] Your plan is to help bury your father

[01:08:29] And then in your family's hour of need

[01:08:31] Murder yourself in this like gruesome way

[01:08:34] With a bike knife

[01:08:36] And then like they have to find your bloody body

[01:08:38] That's your plan

[01:08:39] Am I supposed to have empathy for this guy?

[01:08:41] Not to mention like okay so yes

[01:08:44] Big shoe failure

[01:08:45] It's not like they're suing him for the billion dollars

[01:08:48] No he got fired

[01:08:49] He lost his job but whatever money he had up until then

[01:08:51] He has

[01:08:52] And he threw his all his possessions away

[01:08:53] You could have sold him on Craigslist buddy

[01:08:54] Like a fucking dummy right

[01:08:56] Well he wanted to kill himself

[01:08:57] Yeah

[01:08:58] But he also like

[01:09:01] I forgot Javier Bardem is in the fifth pirate to the Caribbean

[01:09:04] Oh yeah

[01:09:05] Yeah

[01:09:06] I mean it's good casting

[01:09:07] And Cruz is in the fourth

[01:09:08] Why bother

[01:09:09] Yeah

[01:09:10] Maybe she was like Javier I had a great time making

[01:09:13] That's the fucking thing every time they make

[01:09:14] I like to the Caribbean

[01:09:15] Javier you must do it

[01:09:16] Every time they make a pirate to the Caribbean movie

[01:09:20] They add one new element where I'm like

[01:09:21] Ah fuck that does sound good

[01:09:23] Yeah but then they're not right

[01:09:25] And then I see it and I'm like

[01:09:26] Nope not good not good movies

[01:09:28] I still think that their movie is kind of amazing

[01:09:30] But anyway

[01:09:31] I do too I think the third movie is like a perverse

[01:09:33] Like act of like

[01:09:34] It's kind of incredible

[01:09:35] Yeah

[01:09:36] I like the third movie because it like just says

[01:09:37] Fuck you

[01:09:38] Yeah

[01:09:39] Yeah

[01:09:40] Um

[01:09:41] Uh

[01:09:42] The thing I was going to say

[01:09:44] Oh and Brenton Thwaites isn't it

[01:09:45] They're really trying to make him happen

[01:09:46] He's kind of cute in Gods of Egypt

[01:09:48] My favorite film in 2000

[01:09:49] The new same Claffin who they tried to make happen

[01:09:50] In the last one

[01:09:52] Oh yeah

[01:09:53] Okay

[01:09:54] Anyway

[01:09:55] Uh

[01:09:57] What were we saying

[01:09:58] His plan to kill himself

[01:10:00] Oh yeah

[01:10:01] Yes

[01:10:02] This article is going to come out in fucking business

[01:10:04] In the movie magazine

[01:10:05] Yeah he's going to be a little humiliated

[01:10:07] On the professional end

[01:10:09] Okay so maybe he's not going to get another job

[01:10:11] In the shoe industry

[01:10:12] But it's not like he's like

[01:10:14] Fucking OJ Simpson

[01:10:16] You know where like publicly everyone's obsessing over like

[01:10:19] Well this guy fucked up

[01:10:20] You know like a lot of people are just

[01:10:22] Not going to give a shit

[01:10:23] And if he wants to he could just start a different career

[01:10:25] Like yeah probably

[01:10:26] You're going to have a tough year of rebuilding

[01:10:28] But I don't think his life is over

[01:10:30] He's no Mel Gibson

[01:10:31] He's no Mel Gibson

[01:10:33] You can eat that bagel

[01:10:35] Well I felt like I was eating too much on Mike for the first half

[01:10:37] And I was trying to let

[01:10:38] I'm just hungry

[01:10:39] Pocalypto though

[01:10:40] Do you want some of that bagel

[01:10:41] No no it's your bagel

[01:10:42] Okay

[01:10:43] Apocalypse is a good movie

[01:10:44] Um

[01:10:45] It is a good movie

[01:10:46] Okay so he goes back home

[01:10:47] To love her

[01:10:50] Oh and we

[01:10:51] The this single

[01:10:53] Worst fucking affectation in this movie

[01:10:55] Kirsten Dunst taking the imaginary picture

[01:10:57] Oh my god

[01:10:59] Do they have sex or do they just sleep in bed together

[01:11:01] Unclear

[01:11:03] I guess I don't care

[01:11:05] Really?

[01:11:06] Yes

[01:11:07] That's just cool

[01:11:10] That's the best part of sex

[01:11:11] What?

[01:11:12] Ah sex part

[01:11:15] So it's not Kirsten Dunst taking an imaginary picture

[01:11:18] No

[01:11:19] No not at all

[01:11:21] Sex part

[01:11:25] I like dressing

[01:11:27] Yeah that's my favorite part

[01:11:29] Dressing

[01:11:30] Getting to recover my shame

[01:11:33] So

[01:11:35] Uh he goes home

[01:11:36] Yeah so there's a lot of

[01:11:38] She gives detailed directions which is like

[01:11:40] Who the fuck can care this much

[01:11:42] I mean again remember there are no

[01:11:44] There's no Google Maps

[01:11:45] Yeah

[01:11:46] It's real hard to get lost there on the back roads

[01:11:48] Of the Kentucky Highway

[01:11:50] Of course he does it

[01:11:51] Even though he does the very thing

[01:11:52] She told him not to

[01:11:53] Yeah he drives into Indiana somehow

[01:11:54] Yeah

[01:11:55] Oops

[01:11:56] Uh gets there

[01:11:57] His family

[01:11:58] Oh boy

[01:11:59] Oh there are a bunch of

[01:12:00] Characters I guess

[01:12:02] They sure seem like they're from the south

[01:12:04] And they're poorer than him

[01:12:05] Yeah they seem like nice people

[01:12:06] Yeah they seem fine

[01:12:07] I mean they're a little loud

[01:12:08] Played by some good character actors

[01:12:10] And Paula Dean

[01:12:11] Paula Dean

[01:12:12] She's pretty good

[01:12:13] I yes I was

[01:12:14] It's kind of weird

[01:12:15] I didn't know she was in this

[01:12:16] I did but I

[01:12:17] All I knew is that

[01:12:18] Paula Dean was in Elizabeth Town

[01:12:20] For all I knew she played herself

[01:12:22] Yeah I didn't know at all

[01:12:23] Uh when she showed up

[01:12:24] I went like

[01:12:25] And then I went like

[01:12:26] Like you know like

[01:12:27] And then I went like

[01:12:29] Wait is she playing herself

[01:12:30] Then it was clear

[01:12:31] Okay she's Aunt Dora or whatever

[01:12:32] She's his aunt

[01:12:33] I was like

[01:12:34] She could be this for a second

[01:12:35] Then she's got like a couple of scenes

[01:12:36] That are like all on

[01:12:37] There's the one scene with her

[01:12:38] In the Land of Bloom in the kitchen

[01:12:39] That's like all her

[01:12:40] Uh all set

[01:12:41] And there's a scene where she's like

[01:12:43] That's you know Uncle Bob

[01:12:44] And he was a poet

[01:12:45] And that's blah blah blah

[01:12:46] Right

[01:12:47] She's like pretty fucking good

[01:12:48] She's not bad

[01:12:49] I mean she's just doing

[01:12:50] What I guess camera crew is going for

[01:12:52] Which is like

[01:12:53] Just act like you're sort of

[01:12:54] Down home folks you know

[01:12:55] She's got like funny comic timing

[01:12:57] Yeah she's fine alright

[01:12:58] Let's not

[01:12:59] Let's not give her an Oscar

[01:13:00] I'll just say no

[01:13:01] I won't give her an Oscar

[01:13:02] But you know it's uh

[01:13:03] I'd say much better than

[01:13:04] Her most recent acting performance

[01:13:06] Which was

[01:13:07] Someone pretending she's not a racist

[01:13:10] Do you remember that

[01:13:11] Unconvincing performance

[01:13:12] Good job

[01:13:13] I'm not a racist

[01:13:15] Remember that one

[01:13:16] Yes

[01:13:18] Loud and Wainwright

[01:13:19] The great Loud and Wainwright

[01:13:20] Loud and Wainwright the third

[01:13:21] He's Uncle Dale he's funny

[01:13:23] You've got a lot of those other guys

[01:13:25] Who you're like

[01:13:26] I know that guy

[01:13:27] You know where it's like

[01:13:28] Like there's the guy who is um

[01:13:30] Buddy

[01:13:31] Buddy

[01:13:32] Oh fuck

[01:13:34] Ricky Bobby

[01:13:35] Ricky Bobby's dad

[01:13:36] In Talladega Nights

[01:13:38] No Gary Cole is his dad

[01:13:40] Not dad

[01:13:41] Grandpa

[01:13:42] Grandpa

[01:13:43] Oh yes

[01:13:44] The guy from that scene

[01:13:45] Like

[01:13:46] Like

[01:13:47] You're elder

[01:13:48] You should respect me

[01:13:49] And the kids just yell at him

[01:13:50] And you just like turn up the heat

[01:13:51] I love that scene

[01:13:53] Uh

[01:13:54] The great Bruce McGill

[01:13:55] He's such a good character actor

[01:13:57] I love Bruce McGill

[01:13:58] What the fuck is this character

[01:13:59] He shows up and it's

[01:14:00] Everyone's kind of like

[01:14:01] Oh Bruce McGill's here

[01:14:03] And he's like alright

[01:14:04] Here I am

[01:14:05] He walks in

[01:14:06] You could drop a pin

[01:14:07] In the silence right

[01:14:08] Right

[01:14:09] And then he goes

[01:14:10] No one invited me

[01:14:11] No one invited me

[01:14:12] Yeah

[01:14:13] And then he goes

[01:14:14] He laughs

[01:14:15] And then when he calls Sarandon

[01:14:16] And it's like

[01:14:17] She's like Bill Banyan's here

[01:14:18] She's like

[01:14:19] That motherfucker

[01:14:20] I'll die before I look upon his face

[01:14:23] I curse his name

[01:14:24] If Bill Banyan's there

[01:14:25] I'm coming just to show him

[01:14:26] What for

[01:14:27] And then like

[01:14:28] It never pops

[01:14:29] And he's like mom

[01:14:30] Mom do you want to cremate dad

[01:14:31] There's all this like chaos

[01:14:32] Yeah

[01:14:33] Because anytime he talks

[01:14:34] To his family

[01:14:35] They're all chaotic

[01:14:36] And I guess we're supposed

[01:14:37] To be just like

[01:14:38] Oh this is what grief is like

[01:14:39] And these kids are so loud

[01:14:41] I don't know you know

[01:14:42] My kids these days

[01:14:43] I like that scene

[01:14:44] I do too I think it's probably

[01:14:45] The best scene in the movie

[01:14:46] It's the best scene in the movie

[01:14:47] What is it

[01:14:48] What is that scene

[01:14:49] It's so weird

[01:14:50] So he gets back to his hotel

[01:14:52] After like getting him with the family

[01:14:54] They play Elton John's

[01:14:55] My father's gun

[01:14:56] Which is a song I really like

[01:14:57] There's a lot of good songs on this soundtrack

[01:14:59] It doesn't mean it's a good

[01:15:01] They're well matched

[01:15:02] No I just wanted to

[01:15:03] Props to Elton John's

[01:15:04] My father's gun

[01:15:05] Off of a tumbleweed connection

[01:15:07] And he gets home

[01:15:09] And he's like

[01:15:10] Got some phone calls to make

[01:15:12] And then there's all

[01:15:13] He's like

[01:15:14] He's putting everyone on hold

[01:15:16] Don't you know

[01:15:17] Beal

[01:15:18] Fucking

[01:15:19] Greer

[01:15:20] And then

[01:15:21] But well

[01:15:22] Susie S

[01:15:23] Yes

[01:15:24] And he was trying to call

[01:15:25] Kiki Dunst

[01:15:26] KD

[01:15:27] Cause she put her number

[01:15:29] Like five different numbers

[01:15:30] On the back of the envelope

[01:15:31] With the directions

[01:15:32] Callin' Harry's got the other people on hold

[01:15:34] He goes through a breakup

[01:15:35] His mom

[01:15:36] Judy Greer is like

[01:15:37] You gotta come back home

[01:15:38] Mom's going crazy

[01:15:39] She's like what do you mean going crazy

[01:15:40] She's taking fucking classes

[01:15:42] She's going insane

[01:15:43] She's learning how to knit

[01:15:45] She's losing her mind

[01:15:47] Yeah

[01:15:48] Right they set up this thing

[01:15:49] But it's like

[01:15:50] Again clearly this must be rooted in reality

[01:15:52] This must have been something that happened

[01:15:53] To his mother maybe

[01:15:55] Maybe I don't know

[01:15:56] His mother plays like

[01:15:58] The other aunt

[01:15:59] Who's always by Paula Deen

[01:16:00] In the film

[01:16:01] She's one of our younger listeners

[01:16:02] I just want to make sure we know

[01:16:04] That call waiting at the time

[01:16:05] Was sort of a big deal

[01:16:06] Especially three lines

[01:16:08] Yeah

[01:16:09] Just wanted to point that out

[01:16:10] Yeah

[01:16:11] Continue with the conversation

[01:16:12] Lock the gates

[01:16:13] Lock the gates

[01:16:15] Please do remember to lock the gates

[01:16:17] At all times

[01:16:18] Be kind

[01:16:19] Lock gates

[01:16:20] So anyway

[01:16:21] Then he talks to KD on the phone

[01:16:24] Well I think

[01:16:25] I just want to point out

[01:16:26] The Saranen thing

[01:16:27] What do you want to point out

[01:16:28] No because

[01:16:29] You're doing this thing about like

[01:16:30] Saranen's losing her mind

[01:16:31] It's like we didn't know what she was like before

[01:16:32] And she doesn't seem that crazy

[01:16:33] She's just trying to occupy her mind

[01:16:34] With other shit

[01:16:35] Yeah I know but they're just like

[01:16:36] But Judy Greer is like

[01:16:37] Mayday Mayday

[01:16:38] And I'm just that

[01:16:39] But also all the Kentucky people

[01:16:40] Are kind of talking around her

[01:16:42] Oh they hate her

[01:16:43] And you get the impression

[01:16:44] They hate her and you don't know why

[01:16:45] California

[01:16:46] Yeah they keep calling them

[01:16:47] California's even though

[01:16:48] They don't even live in California

[01:16:49] We live in Oregon

[01:16:50] Because you know people in Kentucky

[01:16:52] I don't know if you know this

[01:16:53] But they're such fucking

[01:16:54] Dumb motherfuckers

[01:16:55] They don't even know

[01:16:56] The difference between a state

[01:16:57] Yeah

[01:16:58] Yeah there's such

[01:16:59] Evil stupid people

[01:17:00] Yeah

[01:17:01] They're like

[01:17:02] I guess you live in California

[01:17:03] Now I fuck animals

[01:17:04] But also what's the difference

[01:17:05] Because all us latte liberals

[01:17:07] Look the same smell the same

[01:17:09] It's just like one of these movies

[01:17:10] Where it thinks that it's delightful

[01:17:12] That it's in like you know

[01:17:15] The South like in America's heartland

[01:17:17] Or something where they're like

[01:17:18] Aren't these people

[01:17:19] They're rough around the edges

[01:17:20] But you know there's some wisdom

[01:17:22] To be found if you sit down

[01:17:23] And talk to them

[01:17:24] It's like one of those movies

[01:17:25] It's so patronizing

[01:17:27] Simple town is going to teach this

[01:17:29] Shoebaker

[01:17:30] This stuck up shoe knifer

[01:17:33] I don't like the culture clash element

[01:17:35] Of it but I do

[01:17:36] I think there's like a movie in just like

[01:17:38] Guy going on to his family

[01:17:40] There's a movie in it if you do it right

[01:17:42] Right if it's not as much like the us vs them

[01:17:44] But just like he's realizing

[01:17:45] He has more in common with his family

[01:17:46] But this movie is that

[01:17:47] You know which is annoying

[01:17:49] I do like the

[01:17:50] There's the kid who's like the relative

[01:17:52] Who keeps on

[01:17:53] Well he's a Paul Schneider

[01:17:54] Yeah

[01:17:55] You know

[01:17:56] But there's the kid who's like the shoe aficionado

[01:17:58] Who keeps on talking about the shoe thing

[01:17:59] And he doesn't know that the shoe is bomb

[01:18:01] And that they're gonna fucking talk about this thing

[01:18:02] Right and he's

[01:18:03] Well I think he's also thinking like

[01:18:04] Oh like

[01:18:05] Maybe I have to get a job at the shoe factory

[01:18:07] Yeah

[01:18:08] I think that moment's captured pretty well

[01:18:10] It's funny

[01:18:11] About like being in a party

[01:18:12] And having someone look up to you

[01:18:13] And being like I know I'm a fucking failure

[01:18:15] I can't dismiss you because you think I'm important

[01:18:17] It's fine

[01:18:18] But then other stuff is not fine

[01:18:20] But then

[01:18:22] There's a

[01:18:23] A phone call with KD

[01:18:25] That turns into a montage

[01:18:28] Phone call

[01:18:29] It's kind of like

[01:18:30] The vanilla sky thing where they spend that

[01:18:32] One magical night together

[01:18:33] Where they talk for 12 hours

[01:18:35] Right but the script is so

[01:18:36] Is not going to show us like

[01:18:38] What they talk about

[01:18:39] You're getting isolated statements

[01:18:41] Yeah you just sort of cut into it

[01:18:42] And he's just like yeah

[01:18:43] I just think like all women should be able to vote

[01:18:45] When they're 13

[01:18:46] Like I don't know

[01:18:47] You're just cut into some random

[01:18:49] Thing and she's like getting in the bath

[01:18:51] There she's like putting on her tights

[01:18:53] I don't know like

[01:18:54] He's like

[01:18:55] You know

[01:18:56] Going over to the ice machine

[01:18:57] In the hotel

[01:18:58] Like you know whatever

[01:18:59] There's a wedding going on

[01:19:00] The hotel is saying

[01:19:01] Oh that's right

[01:19:02] They're going to use for their memorial service

[01:19:04] Life and death right next door to each other

[01:19:06] What's his name?

[01:19:07] Jed Rhys

[01:19:08] He runs into that actor

[01:19:09] Yeah we've mentioned on this podcast before

[01:19:11] You know who talks to him for a second

[01:19:14] I don't know

[01:19:15] I think Crow is trying to capture like

[01:19:17] Oh this sort of wild and crazy emotional state

[01:19:19] That this character is in

[01:19:21] Where like you know

[01:19:23] Things seem to be sort of brushing in

[01:19:24] Off the screen at him almost

[01:19:25] Like it's like

[01:19:26] It just feels like he's like

[01:19:27] Where do I got to stand

[01:19:28] What's my next line

[01:19:29] You know there's no like

[01:19:31] He doesn't feel like he's being weighed down by this

[01:19:34] Any of this

[01:19:37] He and Kiki Don have a conversation

[01:19:39] There's a very camera crow thing

[01:19:41] That I like where they fucking decide to like

[01:19:44] You know almost hang up

[01:19:46] And it's like

[01:19:47] What about you

[01:19:48] We might as well stay up at this point

[01:19:49] She's supposed to go to Hawaii

[01:19:50] For shadowing

[01:19:51] It's true that she says the word aloha

[01:19:53] Yeah

[01:19:54] In the movie

[01:19:55] And he does as well

[01:19:56] And then they decide to drive to some neutral point

[01:19:58] Yeah and they see each other

[01:19:59] And that's sort of weird

[01:20:00] Well I like the moment where they like

[01:20:02] See each other and they're like

[01:20:03] Come on and then they go sit

[01:20:04] And they look at the sunrise

[01:20:05] And they go like

[01:20:06] We peaked at the phone call right

[01:20:07] Yeah we shouldn't have done this

[01:20:08] Yeah yeah and they like leave

[01:20:09] And I like when he fucking deflates the balloon

[01:20:11] That's something Crow's good at

[01:20:12] He doesn't do enough of that here

[01:20:13] In this picture

[01:20:14] I guess but I also

[01:20:15] They're so cute about it

[01:20:17] It's annoying

[01:20:18] Yeah

[01:20:19] It's just like

[01:20:20] We peaked at the phone call

[01:20:21] Silly us

[01:20:22] Let's drive an hour back

[01:20:23] Bye

[01:20:24] You have like one actor

[01:20:25] Having to play

[01:20:26] That's like some cute shit

[01:20:27] Chemistry for both of them

[01:20:29] Alright you've made that point already

[01:20:30] Yeah okay anyway

[01:20:31] Alright so then he's

[01:20:33] Doesn't want to cremate his dad

[01:20:34] Or someone doesn't want the dad cremated

[01:20:36] The family doesn't want the dad created

[01:20:37] But the California

[01:20:38] The Oregon family does

[01:20:40] Cause that's what dad said he wanted

[01:20:41] Right but then they're like

[01:20:43] No he's got his plot

[01:20:44] We should bury him

[01:20:45] But no they cremate him

[01:20:46] And Norah and the Bloom's like

[01:20:47] I the last second he's like

[01:20:48] I don't want him cremated

[01:20:49] Cause he looks at the blue flame

[01:20:51] Apollo deans of him

[01:20:53] Yes and then

[01:20:54] It turns out he's cremated

[01:20:56] And he's in a nerd

[01:20:58] That's like a little arc that plays out

[01:21:00] Okay

[01:21:01] There's no larger bearing

[01:21:03] No

[01:21:04] It's just sort of like a thing that happens

[01:21:05] Maybe that's something happening to Cameron Crowe

[01:21:07] Again maybe that's why he's putting it in the movie

[01:21:09] It has no bearing on the story

[01:21:11] He's walking through the lobby with the urn

[01:21:14] Yeah well that becomes right

[01:21:15] Like the weird visual joke of the movie

[01:21:17] That he's got this urn under his arm

[01:21:19] Tons of calls and she's like

[01:21:20] Hey I got something for you

[01:21:21] I know we're talking about those kids

[01:21:22] Being real loud

[01:21:23] I got a video I promise it will silence kids up

[01:21:25] And he's like okay

[01:21:27] And then there's like a

[01:21:29] A great little scene

[01:21:30] But then there's a balloon pop

[01:21:32] And he's like what

[01:21:33] And she's there and he's like

[01:21:34] Where are you supposed to go to Hawaii

[01:21:35] And she doesn't answer

[01:21:36] She's like aloha

[01:21:38] Yeah

[01:21:39] In theaters 2014

[01:21:40] Yeah

[01:21:42] And then they just have another nice night together

[01:21:44] And he tries to kiss her

[01:21:46] And

[01:21:47] She maybe has a boyfriend

[01:21:49] Although we never seen this boyfriend

[01:21:50] And

[01:21:51] Yes producer Ben

[01:21:53] Were you dating Kiki Dunst in Elizabeth town in 2005

[01:21:57] I was not

[01:21:58] Okay

[01:21:59] Okay

[01:22:00] I'm glad we sold that rumor

[01:22:02] Um

[01:22:03] But uh

[01:22:04] Ben

[01:22:05] Like the Ben in this movie like

[01:22:06] Fucking sucked

[01:22:07] He's married to his academic career

[01:22:09] Uh

[01:22:10] That was a loud wink

[01:22:11] Um

[01:22:12] And

[01:22:13] He tries to kiss her

[01:22:14] And then they like don't really do it

[01:22:15] And she's like

[01:22:16] Aren't you glad that we like

[01:22:17] Didn't do something impulsive

[01:22:18] So that we could

[01:22:19] You know

[01:22:20] The fucking be friends forever

[01:22:21] Whatever

[01:22:22] Right

[01:22:23] And then it's like

[01:22:24] But then why were you so actively pursuing this guy

[01:22:25] Like you clearly had the hots for him

[01:22:26] To fucking

[01:22:27] Write the thing

[01:22:28] You know

[01:22:29] Get him to call

[01:22:30] And talk all night

[01:22:31] And whatever

[01:22:32] Yeah

[01:22:33] And then she gets this whole thing about that

[01:22:34] They're a replacement people

[01:22:35] Oh god

[01:22:36] I forgot about that

[01:22:37] He also has had that monologue earlier

[01:22:39] Where he's like

[01:22:40] What I know is like

[01:22:41] The farewell face

[01:22:42] Like the goodbye face

[01:22:43] He collects them

[01:22:44] Like Cameron Crow collects

[01:22:45] Vanille records

[01:22:47] Yeah

[01:22:49] Vanille records

[01:22:51] And yeah

[01:22:52] She says they're replacement people

[01:22:53] I don't know what that means

[01:22:54] I don't either

[01:22:55] It's like they're like stand-ins for

[01:22:57] I don't know

[01:22:58] You need someone in your life

[01:22:59] I don't know

[01:23:00] It's stupid

[01:23:02] Young and pretty

[01:23:03] They want to fuck

[01:23:04] They should fuck each other

[01:23:05] Yeah

[01:23:06] Well they eventually do

[01:23:07] Yeah

[01:23:08] Well he goes like

[01:23:09] Good thing for Ben

[01:23:10] We only kiss

[01:23:11] And then it cuts to them in bed together

[01:23:12] And then she wakes up

[01:23:13] And he

[01:23:14] Is still sleeping

[01:23:15] And she has this like

[01:23:16] Conversation with him

[01:23:17] While he's sleeping

[01:23:18] And she acts like

[01:23:19] Disappointed that he is asleep

[01:23:21] And then he wakes up

[01:23:22] And then he notices her out

[01:23:23] Afterwards outside

[01:23:24] And he's like

[01:23:25] I feel like I've failed my shoe company

[01:23:27] I need to tell you

[01:23:28] Like I want to kill myself

[01:23:30] And she's like

[01:23:31] Oh you asshole

[01:23:32] I thought you were running out

[01:23:33] To tell me that you loved me

[01:23:34] And then she like walks off in a huff

[01:23:36] Like she's angry

[01:23:37] That the reason he chased after

[01:23:39] Was to tell her

[01:23:40] That he is contemplating killing himself

[01:23:42] Right

[01:23:43] Which is fair because it is annoying

[01:23:45] Yeah

[01:23:46] I don't know

[01:23:47] Cameron Crow was like

[01:23:48] I guess this should be

[01:23:49] A snack too here

[01:23:51] Yeah

[01:23:52] She has to leave so you wonder

[01:23:53] If she's gonna come back

[01:23:54] We were kind of talking about Jerry McGuire

[01:23:56] On that podcast about how he has like

[01:23:58] Six acts and it's great

[01:23:59] Like you know it doesn't obey

[01:24:00] And then this it feels like

[01:24:02] He has zero acts

[01:24:03] But he just sort of like

[01:24:04] Puts like an up and down structure

[01:24:06] On it just cause

[01:24:07] Something's gotta happen right

[01:24:09] Like

[01:24:10] Someone's gotta give

[01:24:11] And the immortal words

[01:24:12] Of Jack Nicholson

[01:24:13] You remember that part of the movie

[01:24:15] Where he goes

[01:24:16] Something's gotta give

[01:24:18] Nope

[01:24:19] I don't remember that part

[01:24:20] Everyone can or uses a hot doctor though

[01:24:22] You don't remember where he goes

[01:24:23] Ehh it's show time

[01:24:25] I realized my Nicholson sounded

[01:24:27] More like Piedlejuice I had to

[01:24:29] It also, that's also from

[01:24:31] A drowning pool song

[01:24:33] It's show time or someone's gotta give

[01:24:35] Let the bodies hit the floor

[01:24:38] Ben's on fire today

[01:24:40] What is he not?

[01:24:42] That's true

[01:24:43] I call him White Hot Ben

[01:24:44] Ohhhh new name

[01:24:46] White Hot Benny

[01:24:47] He's white, he's hot

[01:24:49] He's Ben

[01:24:50] It's true

[01:24:51] So

[01:24:53] Then there's the funeral

[01:24:55] Or the memorial, whatever

[01:24:56] Yeah

[01:24:57] Guess who gives a eulogy

[01:24:59] That brings the house down

[01:25:00] Like she's fucking

[01:25:02] Prior at the Apollo

[01:25:03] Like I swear to God

[01:25:05] She gives a

[01:25:07] Stupid speech

[01:25:09] About this time she hugged her husband

[01:25:11] And his dick poked her in the back

[01:25:13] Not her husband

[01:25:14] Their next door neighbor after he died

[01:25:16] She has all these fucking bits about how she stole her husband

[01:25:18] And an elevator and took him to Dizzy World

[01:25:20] When he was engaged to another woman

[01:25:22] And she was engaged to another man

[01:25:24] And everyone hates her

[01:25:25] And then she just starts like

[01:25:26] Fucking like landing these jokes

[01:25:28] About boners

[01:25:29] And it's like the fucking Tignataro

[01:25:30] Like live set

[01:25:31] People are losing their minds

[01:25:33] And they just keep on cutting to Greer

[01:25:36] And bloom with their like

[01:25:38] Head in their hands

[01:25:39] Kind of abuse, like ahhh

[01:25:40] Oh God this is so embarrassing

[01:25:42] It's like nothing embarrassing she's killing

[01:25:43] I mean look

[01:25:44] Yeah the speech is embarrassing

[01:25:45] But you have nothing to be embarrassed by

[01:25:46] These idiots are eating it up

[01:25:48] And then she does a tap dance

[01:25:49] To Moon River

[01:25:50] Which I gotta admit

[01:25:52] Oh no don't say you like that

[01:25:54] No I hate it

[01:25:55] I hate it

[01:25:56] But this is what I hated about it

[01:25:58] I kinda can't listen to Moon River without crying

[01:26:01] That's weird

[01:26:02] I think it's like the saddest song in the world

[01:26:04] I was in Not a Great Place

[01:26:06] Last night when I watched the movie

[01:26:08] And when the song started

[01:26:10] And she like lift her legs up

[01:26:11] Well I think first it became clear

[01:26:12] She was gonna do a tap dance

[01:26:13] From the way she was moving

[01:26:15] And then they played that

[01:26:16] And I was like fuck this

[01:26:17] You could do some fucking tap dancing routine

[01:26:19] And you're fucking kidding me

[01:26:21] And then they play Moon River

[01:26:22] And I started crying

[01:26:23] And I was so angry that the movie

[01:26:25] Activated that in me

[01:26:27] Griffin next time this happens

[01:26:29] Just think of Fletch getting a finger up the butt

[01:26:32] Moon River

[01:26:34] But I cried during that scene too

[01:26:36] Oh okay

[01:26:37] Yeah, no because you know

[01:26:38] Colon cancer is nothing to laugh about

[01:26:40] That's very true

[01:26:41] And guys you know

[01:26:42] When you start getting up there in your 30s

[01:26:44] You gotta get a regular checkup

[01:26:46] You start getting up there in the 30s

[01:26:48] You gotta start letting him

[01:26:50] Get up there in your buttle

[01:26:52] And your patole

[01:26:54] So then Claire is at the memorial

[01:26:56] She shows up surprise appearance

[01:26:58] Cause she had sort of

[01:27:00] Also there is a performance of Free Bird

[01:27:02] By Paul Schneider's band

[01:27:03] I don't want to talk about it

[01:27:04] And then there's a bird that catches on fire

[01:27:06] Oh yeah that's right

[01:27:07] Also they're playing electronic instruments

[01:27:09] While rain

[01:27:11] Or whatever the sprinkler system

[01:27:13] Is cascading down upon them

[01:27:15] True that there's a stupid

[01:27:17] There's a shot of Judy Greer

[01:27:19] As the sprinklers go off

[01:27:22] Just standing in the rain

[01:27:23] Looking up at the sky

[01:27:24] Laughing at how crazy life is

[01:27:27] I'm tired

[01:27:28] And me too

[01:27:29] Also that scene we didn't talk about it

[01:27:30] We should

[01:27:31] The scene where he plays this video

[01:27:32] For them to shut the kids up

[01:27:33] Is very arresting and funny

[01:27:34] It's very interesting

[01:27:35] It's a good scene

[01:27:36] I don't know why it's in the movie

[01:27:37] Oh I love that

[01:27:38] Yeah the video itself is great

[01:27:39] The video I wish

[01:27:40] I don't know who the actor is

[01:27:41] He kills it

[01:27:42] It may be the best performance in the movie

[01:27:44] Yeah but he's basically like

[01:27:45] I'm gonna blow up this

[01:27:46] I built this house

[01:27:47] It's a great house

[01:27:48] But it's been infected with termites

[01:27:50] So I'm gonna blow it up

[01:27:51] Now I'm only gonna do it

[01:27:52] If you promise to keep quiet

[01:27:54] You know and like

[01:27:55] Do you promise

[01:27:56] And they're like

[01:27:57] We promise like all the kids

[01:27:59] But there's this whole undercooked thing

[01:28:00] With like

[01:28:01] Paul Schneider's got his kid

[01:28:03] He's a single father

[01:28:04] He's trying to be his kid's friend

[01:28:05] Because he doesn't have an antagonistic relationship

[01:28:07] Lou Wainwright who is

[01:28:09] His antagonistic father

[01:28:10] Is like

[01:28:11] You can't be a friend to your son

[01:28:12] But again this is like some like

[01:28:13] Weird bizarro side plot

[01:28:15] Where you're like

[01:28:16] What does this have to do with anything?

[01:28:17] But that feels like there was like

[01:28:18] Two scenes cut out there

[01:28:20] There had to be

[01:28:21] And I think there had to be more

[01:28:23] With Serendon and Greer

[01:28:24] It doesn't make sense to set them up that way

[01:28:26] And then have that big monologue at the end

[01:28:28] And not do anything in between

[01:28:29] Other than going like

[01:28:30] She won't stop taking classes

[01:28:32] Jim Fitzpatrick

[01:28:33] I believe is his name

[01:28:34] Killed it

[01:28:35] Uh

[01:28:37] So

[01:28:39] Then he blows up the house

[01:28:40] And it's funny

[01:28:41] And he's like

[01:28:42] Now we build it again

[01:28:43] Yeah

[01:28:44] Funny

[01:28:45] Kirsten Dunn shows up

[01:28:47] And she goes

[01:28:49] You know I got a thing for you

[01:28:51] And you're like

[01:28:52] Oh she's admitting that

[01:28:53] She really likes him

[01:28:54] And that's the net

[01:28:55] And then she's like

[01:28:56] It's a map

[01:28:57] And then she's just like

[01:28:59] Look we were never going to date

[01:29:00] Date a guy named Ben

[01:29:01] And he's like

[01:29:02] Does Ben ever even exist?

[01:29:04] And she's like

[01:29:05] Here's a map

[01:29:06] Go on a road trip

[01:29:07] Go alone

[01:29:08] Smell ya later

[01:29:10] Yes

[01:29:11] And I was going to give this film

[01:29:15] Slight props

[01:29:17] For being about two people

[01:29:19] Who never got together

[01:29:20] No

[01:29:21] Who just sort of danced around each other

[01:29:22] They didn't get together though

[01:29:23] I said I was going to

[01:29:24] Yeah but like

[01:29:25] Well I at least was like

[01:29:26] No

[01:29:27] I at that moment in the film went

[01:29:29] He's gonna go on the road trip by himself

[01:29:30] And figure out who he is

[01:29:31] Literally

[01:29:32] End of the movie

[01:29:33] I pause the movie at that point

[01:29:34] And I go

[01:29:35] Wait there's 20 minutes left

[01:29:36] Here's what happens in the movie

[01:29:37] How are there possibly 20 minutes left?

[01:29:38] The character who exists

[01:29:39] Only to serve this man's emotional journey

[01:29:42] Presents him with a magic box

[01:29:44] That will complete his emotional journey

[01:29:46] That she made for him

[01:29:48] That's all about his emotions

[01:29:50] That would have taken

[01:29:51] Fuckin' six years to assemble

[01:29:53] I mean it's detailed notes of

[01:29:54] Every single route he has to take

[01:29:56] What places he has to go into

[01:29:58] Who he has to say hi to

[01:29:59] What he has to take stock in

[01:30:00] What he has to think about

[01:30:01] Combined with like fucking

[01:30:03] Like 20 mix CDs

[01:30:05] With songs timed up to life events

[01:30:07] It gives him directions on how to take

[01:30:09] The publication of business week

[01:30:11] Like all of it

[01:30:13] Hey she doesn't have the time to do this

[01:30:15] She's got a job

[01:30:16] B who gives a shit

[01:30:17] Why would she do this?

[01:30:18] It doesn't matter

[01:30:19] Don't try to think about it

[01:30:20] So this happens

[01:30:21] Why does she ride the map?

[01:30:23] Very good

[01:30:24] Thank you

[01:30:25] And so she

[01:30:26] She took the road trip by herself too

[01:30:27] Took the pictures

[01:30:28] Yes

[01:30:29] Blanded out

[01:30:30] Then had him do it

[01:30:31] That's crazy

[01:30:32] She had to take the trip

[01:30:33] Right I guess we should know

[01:30:34] Like throughout the movie

[01:30:35] She's been sort of saying to him

[01:30:36] Like you should really go on a road trip

[01:30:37] And he's like yeah I should

[01:30:38] And he's like

[01:30:39] He was supposed to go on one with his dad

[01:30:41] And then they kept on pushing it off

[01:30:42] Cause his career is dead

[01:30:44] During this montage of him going on the road trip

[01:30:45] With all the

[01:30:46] And he's like scattering his dad's ashes

[01:30:48] Joyously around the country

[01:30:49] Yeah

[01:30:50] We're cutting in footage

[01:30:51] Of like him as a kid

[01:30:52] With his dad like dancing around

[01:30:54] And it's supposed to be

[01:30:55] Like this big tharce

[01:30:56] Except we don't know anything about the dad

[01:30:58] To this

[01:30:59] At this moment in the movie

[01:31:00] Still

[01:31:01] Absolutely not

[01:31:02] And you're like

[01:31:03] You know you get the general concept

[01:31:04] Like yeah he liked his dad

[01:31:05] You know a lot of people do

[01:31:06] Great

[01:31:07] But like there's nothing there

[01:31:08] Because there's no palpable feeling

[01:31:10] In Orlando Bloom's performance or whatever

[01:31:11] So when he goes like

[01:31:12] Yeah my dad was a good guy

[01:31:13] It feels like he's just stating like

[01:31:15] Yeah my dad was not a murderer

[01:31:16] Like it doesn't feel like he loves his dad

[01:31:18] Like you know what I mean

[01:31:20] Like did we know he didn't like his dad

[01:31:22] No that doesn't come up

[01:31:24] Agreed

[01:31:25] He goes on this long road trip

[01:31:27] The road trip sequence lasts like

[01:31:28] Over 10 minutes

[01:31:30] Yeah it's fucking boring

[01:31:31] Him just going from place to place

[01:31:33] I'm like how the fuck is this movie still going on

[01:31:35] I mean

[01:31:37] I would have given the film props

[01:31:39] To a small degree

[01:31:41] If she gave him the map

[01:31:43] And she walked away

[01:31:44] Well stop saying that you would have given the film props for doing something it didn't do

[01:31:46] Got in the car

[01:31:47] It didn't do that

[01:31:48] But I'm saying fucking bad Toronto screening

[01:31:50] I get that what you're saying

[01:31:51] Hey Cam

[01:31:52] Just acts the last 20

[01:31:54] Cut it off

[01:31:55] Cut off the tail of the picture

[01:31:56] You know

[01:31:58] He fucking goes to all these stops

[01:32:00] She gives him all the directions on how to live his life

[01:32:02] Because she has no being herself

[01:32:04] And she just wants to make the sad man happy

[01:32:06] It doesn't matter it doesn't matter

[01:32:07] And then he gets to the fucking

[01:32:09] Second best county fair

[01:32:11] Where the farmers market

[01:32:12] Whatever the fuck it is

[01:32:13] And she goes now go to the shoe

[01:32:16] And it's the shoe that he made

[01:32:18] And there's a note in the shoe

[01:32:21] Either at that point

[01:32:22] Decide whether to continue the journey

[01:32:24] Or go home

[01:32:25] And it's like what's it wait wait

[01:32:27] I mean check the shoe

[01:32:29] And he checks the shoe and it says like

[01:32:31] Look for the girl in the red hat

[01:32:32] And it's like wait she

[01:32:33] Was sitting on this road trip

[01:32:34] Just so that she could meet him back

[01:32:35] Two weeks later

[01:32:38] I have nothing to say

[01:32:41] It's bad

[01:32:42] The hat's cute

[01:32:43] I guess so she's cute

[01:32:44] Just cute man

[01:32:45] I mean he's cute in this movie

[01:32:47] Yeah he's alright

[01:32:48] He looks cute

[01:32:49] Yeah but he's so

[01:32:50] And he's having a time

[01:32:51] And dying it just doesn't matter

[01:32:52] Yeah

[01:32:54] So the film ends and who cares

[01:32:57] I tried to look up some articles to see if

[01:32:59] Crowe ever accounted for the movie

[01:33:01] Uh huh

[01:33:02] You can talk with that

[01:33:06] So I don't hate the movie

[01:33:08] I don't really like it at all

[01:33:11] I find it very aggravating

[01:33:14] But there are bits and pieces that I

[01:33:18] Like Cameron Crowe is a filmmaker who's

[01:33:21] Like tone is very in sync

[01:33:26] With my sensibility

[01:33:28] And so even just the fleeting moments

[01:33:31] That for me kind of half connect

[01:33:34] It's like

[01:33:37] I also kind of like

[01:33:39] Prefer what this movie is failing to do

[01:33:42] To what most movies succeed in doing

[01:33:45] Do you know what I'm saying?

[01:33:46] I do

[01:33:48] But I don't like this movie

[01:33:49] I don't either

[01:33:50] I'm just saying I don't hate it

[01:33:51] Yeah I do hate it

[01:33:52] Right

[01:33:54] Crowe says that he kind of compares the character

[01:33:57] To an angel in this interview

[01:34:00] Dunst?

[01:34:01] Yeah

[01:34:02] Like literally like an angel just sort of sent from heaven to

[01:34:04] Yeah cause she's like a cosmic being who has no right

[01:34:07] Just do something for him

[01:34:09] Yeah

[01:34:10] I mean there's the moment where

[01:34:12] Orlando Bloom's watching

[01:34:14] What is it Roman Holiday in his hotel room

[01:34:17] Oh god

[01:34:18] I love how there's no way any of these

[01:34:20] Classic movies would ever play in any TV

[01:34:23] At any point in this movie

[01:34:25] So annoying

[01:34:26] Well I just think that's him going like

[01:34:27] Hey guys this is what I'm trying to do

[01:34:29] I'm trying to make like an Audrey Hepburn

[01:34:30] Like this wacky woman who comes into the life

[01:34:32] But she was a human being you know

[01:34:35] You know he

[01:34:36] In these interviews he basically just kind of says

[01:34:38] Like this is what was happening to me

[01:34:40] So the movie kind of wrote itself

[01:34:42] Film was produced by Tom Cruise

[01:34:44] I saw that

[01:34:46] Uh was met with

[01:34:48] Their pals

[01:34:49] Yeah

[01:34:50] A resounding

[01:34:53] Sense of

[01:34:55] Hatred

[01:34:56] Yup

[01:34:58] Booed at

[01:35:00] Toronto he was like wait wait wait wait let me

[01:35:01] Recod it

[01:35:02] He recod it people were like

[01:35:03] Nope

[01:35:04] So let's play the box office game

[01:35:05] Great

[01:35:07] Yeah cause the movie came out October 14th

[01:35:09] 2005

[01:35:10] It opened third at the box office

[01:35:12] With ten million dollars

[01:35:14] October 13th 2005

[01:35:16] Okay 14th

[01:35:17] And it eventually cleared 22 mil

[01:35:20] In the US

[01:35:21] Oh that's a little higher than I remember it being

[01:35:23] And what the opening number is

[01:35:25] Ten million dollars

[01:35:26] And it opens at number five

[01:35:27] Number three

[01:35:28] Number three okay

[01:35:29] Just said all this stuff and you didn't take any of it on board

[01:35:31] 26 domestic 25 foreign

[01:35:34] $52 million worldwide

[01:35:36] Okay so it wasn't a massive

[01:35:38] Financial flop it just was despised

[01:35:41] Yeah but it didn't make any money

[01:35:43] Okay I'm trying to

[01:35:44] I really feel a lot of pressure to get this one right

[01:35:46] This box office game

[01:35:47] I don't know that you're gonna

[01:35:48] I don't think so either

[01:35:49] But I want to

[01:35:51] Okay number one at the box office

[01:35:54] Is it a new release

[01:35:55] Or is it a hold over

[01:35:56] It's a new release

[01:35:57] Earning 11.7 million dollars

[01:36:00] It is a horror film and a remake

[01:36:03] Very interesting

[01:36:04] 2005

[01:36:06] The number one film made 11

[01:36:08] Yeah

[01:36:09] So this is a bad weekend

[01:36:10] Bad weekend I mean it is that sort of mid October

[01:36:12] You know

[01:36:13] Schlock

[01:36:15] It's a 2005 remake

[01:36:17] So it's not when a stranger calls

[01:36:19] It's not the amityville horror

[01:36:21] I think you have horror remakes from around that time

[01:36:24] It's not

[01:36:26] Was it a remake of a franchise or a one off horror film

[01:36:29] A one off horror film

[01:36:31] A John Carpenter horror film

[01:36:34] The thing

[01:36:35] No

[01:36:36] Well not a salt on preset 13

[01:36:37] No

[01:36:38] It's not Halloween that's later

[01:36:39] Yes

[01:36:40] It's not Halloween

[01:36:41] Right

[01:36:43] It's such an irrelevant movie

[01:36:45] It's such

[01:36:46] Oh I know exactly what it is

[01:36:49] Tom Welling in the fog

[01:36:51] That's right

[01:36:52] Thank you

[01:36:53] Number two is an animated film that

[01:36:55] Is down for number one the week before

[01:36:59] 2005

[01:37:02] It won the Oscar

[01:37:04] It won the Oscar in 2005

[01:37:06] Walson Gromit

[01:37:07] Correct

[01:37:08] Curse of the Were rabbit

[01:37:09] Yes

[01:37:10] And then you have Elizabeth Town

[01:37:11] Okay

[01:37:12] Number four is a grown up thriller

[01:37:15] Starring an actress

[01:37:18] That had made a lot of money

[01:37:19] It's already made 70 million dollars

[01:37:21] And it's fourth week

[01:37:22] It is always

[01:37:25] Pretty

[01:37:28] Kind of a weirdly racist

[01:37:29] Play-plan

[01:37:30] Yes

[01:37:32] With Jodie Foster

[01:37:33] Uh huh

[01:37:34] Okay

[01:37:35] Number five is a

[01:37:37] A film with

[01:37:38] People in it

[01:37:39] It's like a rom-drom

[01:37:42] A tip for Oscar success in Getty

[01:37:45] Oh it stars women

[01:37:46] It's a film starring three different women

[01:37:48] Women in a movie

[01:37:49] I know it's crazy

[01:37:50] What next?

[01:37:51] Female Ghostbusters

[01:37:54] 2005

[01:37:55] It wasn't The Women

[01:37:56] It wasn't The Women

[01:37:57] It's like an okay movie

[01:37:59] I think some people like this movie

[01:38:00] I never quite dug it

[01:38:01] I have a feeling I like it

[01:38:03] Yeah you think you might

[01:38:04] I think I might

[01:38:06] Okay it's a

[01:38:07] Based on a book

[01:38:08] So it's not

[01:38:10] Fuck

[01:38:11] Fuck

[01:38:12] I feel like I know what this was

[01:38:13] It was a failed Oscar thing

[01:38:14] Based on a book with a female cast

[01:38:16] In an ensemble