I'll Do Anything with Esther Zuckerman

[00:00:01] Blank Check with Griffin and David, Blank Check with Griffin and David Don't know what to say or to expect All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check You are the cast You can pot anything

[00:00:24] You can pot everything you want to be You are a smile You are a rainbow You were created so perfectly Sometimes we laugh Sometimes we cry Sometimes we hurt inside and don't know why We're only human We make mistakes

[00:00:48] Sometimes it feels like only other people get the breaks Yes, correct We can pot everything Luckily everyone knows what you're doing right now You're the cast Hi everybody my name is Griffin I'm David Sems This is Blank Check with Griffin and David We're hashtagging the two friends

[00:01:13] It's a competitive advantage we get along very well We do, I mean most of the time I thought David was going to physically attack me for doing that I thought you were just going to do something worse And then that was funny and like

[00:01:25] I just think that song is funny We were already talking about that song And I did a hand gesture and it was kind of cute It was a little cute It's about as cute as it was in the movie Exactly So the cutest thing ever

[00:01:37] You are the cast You can pot everything I also messed up the first lyric It's everything I said anything Anyway this is a podcast about filmographies Yes Director to a massive success earlier in the career Sometimes humongous unprecedented Oscar winning True Success Yes

[00:01:58] Sometimes you make a cancer drama that plays like Avengers That is the biggest box office hit of the year Yep, it was at number one of that year I think so I feel like it was number two I feel like it was number two behind something really obvious

[00:02:13] You're right, number two Return of the Jedi Obviously Right, but apart from that Right, huge Look, that's, there you go It's a big one It was only second to Star Wars Right, yeah, yeah, yeah To the last Star Wars movie

[00:02:29] Right, that's like if Lady Bird was the number two movie Behind Last Jedi Yeah Sometimes those checks clear and sometimes they bounce I don't remember if I said the middle thing Mass success earlier in the career Issues point checks Sometimes it's clear Sometimes it bounces baby

[00:02:44] This is a miniseries on the films of James L. Brooks Yes, and it's called As Pott as a Cast Podcast news, it's called podcast news Wait, what is the one you said? As Pott as a Cast Podcast news

[00:02:57] Yes, I love how every single guest has agreed with me Perfect record Do you know what else I'm in response to that? You are the cast You can pot everything That's what we should have called it The podcast You are the cast You can pot everything

[00:03:13] We should have made sure you could only sing the title I would have known exactly what you were talking about This is his most famous movie Of course we are talking about James L. Brooks Good old Canyon Jim His third talkie And it is entitled I'll Do Anything

[00:03:29] I'll do anything He made Terms of Endearment 1983 Boom He made Podcast news 1987 One of my 10 favorite movies of all time Right Then seven years go by And he's working on a musical Oh my God I'll do anything People's sexiest man alive, Nick Nolte Cause he is Yeah

[00:03:49] And it was right around the time of this Imagine that face I think he's sexiest man alive The year he was in the Prince of Tides I'm gonna double check this right now 1992 You know what's a crazy thing? So it's like the Oscars season Yeah and this is 94

[00:04:03] Yes You know what's a crazy thing about Nick Nolte? He actually aged really well until he did Like he's like 51 in this movie He's 50, he's older I mean I look at him and all I can see is the mugshot 100%

[00:04:18] Well also you forget that he's always had the voice Obviously it's gotten more gravelly Right But even in this movie he's like Oh God, what are you doing? And he looks like an Easter Island head He looks intense He sounds like an in-keep In like a 1980s western

[00:04:36] Yeah right He just He feels so out of place He feels so out of place in this movie to me It's very strange casting But don't you think, I mean maybe I'm biased Because I know how much time caught up with him very quickly

[00:04:51] Like considering that there is 8 years between this and the mugshot Right That's crazy It looks like 25 years Yeah that feels like a short amount of time It's only 8 years? When was the mugshot? This is 1994 and the mugshot is 2002 I guess I also come from a weird place

[00:05:07] In that like my first conception of Nick Nolte Was really the mugshot Like I didn't really know of like He wasn't on my radar really before that You also come from a weird place because Nick Nolte was your father Who you didn't grow up with

[00:05:20] He hadn't seen you in 2 years And then suddenly you had to go live with him I mean I got the curly hair How did you know that his mugshot was 2002? Like how is it Because It was a Hulk related Yeah it was taken during Hulk

[00:05:32] That's why he has that look And then Hulk comes out 2003 Right right this sort of stringy hair look Because then when Hulk came out everyone was like Oh so he's just like committing to that look now And it was like no that's why he looked that bad

[00:05:45] Because he plays a homeless lunatic in the Hulk Yeah right He's so good in the Hulk Um He's really interesting in the Hulk Best supporting actor 2003 How did you feel about him? I'm your father Hulk My go-to Nick Nolte He doesn't say Hulk does he? My go-to

[00:06:05] My go-to Nick Nolte is Nick Nolte in Warrior Sure Where he yells I'm your father Brendan And I do that with my brother all the time My brother James And then I like to apply it to other movies Yeah And with father Hulk I made you green

[00:06:21] You could I let you when you're angry I go You're good at it I would never attempt a Nick Nolte now Alright so just dial that down by 10% And that's Nick Nolte in this movie Oh do anything for the part Right I thought he'd be like 50% less crazy

[00:06:40] But he's not No he's crazy He's gravel voiced We should mention our guest has done an incredible job Oh it's talking so much Talking so much Before she's introduced Nailing it Writer all around town You know her best from her appearance on the Aloha episode Ladies and gentlemen

[00:06:56] Esther Zuckerman is here in the studio Hey Esther Hi how's everyone doing? I'm freelance presently Hey now All over the place All over the place Has written for Has written for Vanityfair.com Reclare.com Atlantic Wire Atlantic Wire Well that was how I met David Yeah that's right

[00:07:18] We talked about our lynches Every day Oh it's coming soon on CBS how I met David I hated him Yeah have you talked about this on the pod? I don't know if you talked about this on the pod Esther really resented me Esther Zuckerman is a guest today

[00:07:30] You of course know her most famously from the Aloha episode Which was about This guy Tell this anti-meat to you I was just annoyed at David Cause I'd been there for a really long time And then David comes marching in Yep I marched in already

[00:07:47] He really marched in Little drummer boy He came in wearing a drum Yeah he marched in He left early to go to trivia That's true That really pissed me off Yeah Esther did not like me I didn't like that

[00:07:59] And you had also gotten the job largely through trivia A little bit Trivia was very important Yeah the network And then we became friends Yeah we bonded We bonded I can't remember when did we bond There were certain various things that we should probably talk about off mic

[00:08:14] About that bonded us I would say I know But yeah no we Was it my sad day? That was one of them That was definitely one of them Where I was like Esther what's up I had a really sad day There was a sad day one time

[00:08:27] But that's not just it There were a few things I think you just realized I wasn't so bad Yeah I'm not so bad You warmed up David's pretty good We really bonded over lunch though Lunch was huge debating what lunches we would get

[00:08:40] Discussing the lunches once we had them Sometimes they were disappointing Are you a big sandwich person as well? I'm a medium sandwich person I'm a huge sandwich person David's a huge sandwich person I'm very into variety Which is my problem too

[00:08:56] I struggle with just doing the same thing over and over again I remember how when we met Which was I was David's plus one to Mad Max Fury Road And I showed up and I had hives Yeah you were disgusting You looked like a war boy

[00:09:11] And that's not a thing that happens to me I have an awful body That does a bunch of it Pulls a lot of fast ones on me But usually That was a new curveball It's from the regular repertoire And that was like off the main set list

[00:09:23] So I showed up so amped to see what would then become My favorite movie of the year Oh it was a great screening too I remember Yeah, covering hives and was freaking out I don't remember the hives But I do remember you guys talking about

[00:09:35] What the podcast would morph into That is the famous screening where we came up With the blank check concept You came in with that Right, right, yes Wow, that's a good point So I came in with hives Hives? And good idea Because we were still in Star Wars

[00:09:51] And you were like, you know what I feel like this podcast is about Is about blank check movies Yeah, I remember that Because that was a phrase we would say a lot of the time And I hadn't been listening at that point

[00:10:01] Because honestly I didn't listen to podcasts before I wasn't listening to any podcasts Well cereal hadn't come out at that point No, no it had It was cereal Our podcast was I didn't listen to cereal Our podcast was a sequel to cereal as we all know

[00:10:13] Oh right, of course, because cereal's the first podcast Yeah, season two This is all about Beau Burdol I still think We should do a blank check many series on Cereal season two Sure, I like cereal season two Listen to every app And people were like boo Mark Boll

[00:10:32] More like Mark Boo Then gave me a look As I sat down here this morning Ben told me we have to talk about how many podcasts We're recording And he just gave me a look Because of Burdol? Yeah, he's Burdol

[00:10:49] Yeah, I just got a lot going on today in the studio And he's really happy about it No, I am happy I love recording Ben's not looking great Producer Ben has lost a little Well, yeah, I stayed up till like four in the morning Watching this movie

[00:11:07] I would have just told you not I know Anytime you're on the fence Just text us We'll be like you can skip I'll do anything It's okay, Ben I did the exact same thing I didn't finish this movie until 4 a.m You guys are idiots We recorded yesterday

[00:11:22] It was a weekend day We recorded in the morning on a weekend I went right home and I went to Amazon And I rented I'll do anything And I watched it Mr. Hoss is an ire idiot And we're tired The Fart Detective and I are tired

[00:11:37] The Meat Lover and I are white Out Dirt bike Benny and I We're fucking at our wit's end Remember how there's a time crunch on this episode? Kylo Ben, Chris Benkinovi, Ben Aichamalan Ben Seid, say Benny think that that that He'll Ben's with the dollar sign

[00:11:55] WarHawz, Purdue were Bane Ben 19, the final maker of Robohawz Robohawz Dead or Alive, you are podcasting with him That's new information to me Yes, well we're far in the future, Esther I know it's so weird So if you have anything you want to go on the record with

[00:12:10] You want to see Nick Nolte Make some predictions Oh yeah, if you want to talk about what's going to be happening in late April What do you think? I'll be 32 when this movie comes out Oh it'll be after your birthday David Alvent has a really fun birthday party

[00:12:22] Aww I like I appreciate hearing that I got very drunk last year Sometimes I like to speak to myself in the future Like Ben, hold it together You're doing okay Yeah I feel like I might be in LA in April Really? Moving or just there for the...

[00:12:35] No no not moving It's there for a vacation Sure Alright Esther, in the future wear sunscreen Now it burns Check out Nick Nolte's Wikipedia profile picture guys It's him He must have paid to have that done Most people's Wikipedia profile pictures are ugly

[00:12:52] I mean there's some Creative Commons picture That's like completely insane This is good I went down the rabbit hole of figuring out Nick Nolte's age at different moments in time Do you know how old he is in that picture? That's 1976 I'm gonna guess he's about 35 Yeah

[00:13:07] But like that guy could pass for 25 Yeah I guess so He's got a big face He always has Look he's got a face like a cinder block He's got the Joel Egerton thing Where they both have craggle faces Which means they simultaneously

[00:13:17] Even when they were young they look old Because their faces have old features But he looks pretty virile there Uh yeah No I mean yeah Esther, virile is a way to put it I made a joke about Nick Nolte being your father

[00:13:31] But this movie is autobiographical for you You first grew up in Hollywood Yes I grew up That's true Right? I grew up in LA God I can't believe this is the bit You grew up in LA I grew up in LA and I screamed all the time

[00:13:44] Were you a screamer? Were you a bratty little child raised by Tracy Elmer? I actually wasn't a screamer No I was a crier Were you the best? Could you do everything? Uh Could you do everything? Yeah You are an only child No I did sometimes perform Sure Naturally

[00:14:00] Did you ever have aspirations of being like a stage kid A trial actor? You know Like yes and no I think a part of me sort of wanted to But also I think like I was My parents were like Don't do that

[00:14:13] Like they were like subliminal messaging me Like don't become an actress But you know I didn't They moved you to the really Stable Uh Job of media Like of journalism Exactly Entertainment journalism Um But I did do some hammy shit Yeah Yeah You bathe in that river?

[00:14:31] Yeah I performed River Ham River Ham I got it Best reaction to that one Um Yeah I um What are some of the This is like the worst thing I've ever I ever did I mean it was sort of great when I was a kid

[00:14:48] But like in retrospect I would have If I were another kid I would have punched me There was like a school Like it wasn't like a talent show It was like a concert I was in the choir But I did a duet With one of my teachers

[00:15:03] Who was my like best friend To me and my shadow Wow What did they teach? How old were you? She was yeah She was like a homeroom teacher It was like seven Wow We got like Scorable We got like little sparkly vests And like top hats And canes

[00:15:19] And did the whole thing And this is my Yeah she was like my best friend We played We used to like during recess Play like name that tune Where like we would sing show tunes Back and forth to one another For Esther you are a parody

[00:15:31] Of a kid who grew up in LA sometimes I know I don't know if I've told this On the podcast before But I used to ask my friends' parents If I could perform at their birthday parties The kids' birthday parties And they often let me Sure

[00:15:46] What did you perform? Did you charge? Did I charge No I did not charge It was pro bono I mean you were just You're getting the experience So that's a work I had to build that resume Yeah A lot of magic Oh interesting

[00:15:58] It was very in the magic as a child Yeah One of the reasons I love the papadook Because this kid who keeps on practicing magic Driving his mom and singing The babadook The babadook Magic but then sometimes I like write plays

[00:16:11] And like make other kids put a mom with me I did puppet shows Two acceptable puppets I once tried to We were a great kid I once tried to make one of my friends Perform Like we were having a play date And I once tried to like

[00:16:25] Make her perform A production of Peter Pan the musical And I was like in my house And I was like Like from memory Yeah I was like we have to do this And she obviously like Had not been like listening to the sound

[00:16:39] The Kathy Rigby soundtrack for like ages Yeah Yeah I made her do that Wow Ben what'd you do when you were a kid? You like put firecrackers and mailboxes and stuff Yeah I was like a nightmare Just a miscreant running around in Jersey Shoplifting and what have you

[00:16:57] So you were more of a Neknolty type Yeah I would get like a map And then I would get a piece of paper And I would draw a subway system for the map That's the shit I did At least we were entertaining But I was all internal

[00:17:13] It was all happening in my head I have a great story And I'll keep it brief We were stealing lawn ornaments Right cause that's the thing kids do And so we stole from this particular like Neighbor of my friends who was always stealing our balls

[00:17:29] And frisbees and stuff He wouldn't give it back He was like that guy Yeah We were like we're gonna get some payback So he stole this like I don't know heavy kind of expensive I guess we thought expensive looking lawn gnome Okay

[00:17:42] Then we took pictures with the disposable camera At different locations And mailed it to him Basically being like we've got your We've got your lawn gnome Do you want it back You're almost like a ransom guy You are the kid from American Vandal

[00:17:56] That's just the prank from American Vandal Wait a second What I heard that Sherlock Gnomes was looking God For a thief From New Jersey Well it was me Your number one suspect I think Sherlock Gnomes would know Gnomes will have come out by now

[00:18:16] That's a very relevant joke It'll be the number one film of the year Yes Okay so that's our childhoods We were raised by Tracy Elman or Nick Nolte Neither Yep But yet here we are talking About this film Just trying to pivot us vaguely towards this movie

[00:18:33] I did a bad job alley-ooping him Or taking your alley-oop Yeah sure And taking it to the hoop And dunking it into the basket And it's up and it's out of here Okay This is his blank checkiest movie Well until how do you know

[00:18:49] Just in terms of money But I think this in terms of what they let him do In terms of ambition Right And it also is like he avoided the sophomore slump He made a follow up That I think has aged into a better film

[00:19:06] Than in terms of Endearment Right but even forgetting that it was still a hit It's about Oscar nominations It was a good follow up It's the best Right and in between the two He launches The Simpsons Right he has the Tracy Olman show on Fox

[00:19:20] Which has The Simpsons as one of two animated segments Imagine how it feels to be the other animated segment That was on the Tracy Olman show Wait what was the other animated segment? I looked it up it's called like Doctor and I Gore or something Oh boy

[00:19:31] Yeah I mean it's like literally an unpronounceable title It's like an exclamation mark G Q And yeah that got really big Yeah in 87 Tracy Olman show launches In 89 The Simpsons launches Yeah and you might have heard of it It's a very big show that they will not kill

[00:19:53] Yeah 30 years old at this point You know the Disney buyout of Fox Might actually kill The Simpsons Have you read this whole theory? I have Because a lot of it is that Fox the network Makes money by paying Fox television studios For the licensing rights for The Simpsons

[00:20:12] So even though the show is so prohibitively expensive now Because the voice actors I get so much money The syndication value because they just keep on adding Number of episodes is worth it But if Fox the network is owned by a different company

[00:20:25] Than Fox TV which it's going to be Then they might just make it a mercy killing Well Fox the network can't be owned by Disney Exactly Right but Disney is gonna own a 20th century Fox television the production company I mean who cares fine killed The Simpsons

[00:20:39] Yeah about time Like who will miss it I'm sure Disney will find a way to make a ton of money Off of it in death Right they'll make a Simpsons park or something Like whatever Well Universal Pub Dibs on that baby I can't stand him

[00:20:52] I can stand him You would love I know you hate theme parks You think you hate theme parks It's just not my thing Do you know how good The Simpsons area is They built Springfield at Universal That's cool You can go to Moe's You need a crusty burger

[00:21:06] Can you get a flame of Moe's? Yeah They have three different kinds of duff It's great David you would like it You like The Simpsons Bing dong, bing dong, ding dong Oh okay alright Can you get the door asked her Okay Open it up Nope yep Stop

[00:21:27] Is this your wolf's studios here No this is an audio boom studios NPR this American life No you're at the blank check record Whoever you are Where's Siracane Oh yeah nope No not today I'm Sam Elliott Okay I should recognize you for your 10 gallon hat

[00:21:50] You should recognize me From my voice it sounds exactly like how I Sam Elliott sounds And my physical appearance And my illustrious filmography The hero himself My ears were burning Okay I heard someone talk about the 2003 picture Hulk You're Thunderbolt Ross in that one

[00:22:10] Of course General Thunderbolt Ross In that film I had to play a military man You've done that a couple times in your career I have to go a little naddier Sure what I'm saying Trim you would have to trim your facial hair Right

[00:22:24] You're famed for your big stash I got a big bushy mustache But I had to be nady for General Thunderbolt Ross Okay well have you ever thought about Like subscribing to like an online Service that would provide you with all the things You need to get nady

[00:22:42] I have but here's the problem On Hulk they spent 95% of the budget on Nignalties Bale So they didn't have any petty cash for me To get razors Well all you need is 5 bucks Did they have 5 bucks? I probably could have squeezed 5 out of them yeah

[00:22:58] Alright well so for 5 bucks You can get Razor, Shave Butter, Shampoo Body wash, toothpaste Everything you need to look, smell and feel your best Do they have any boot lather I don't know Probably not Let me ask you a question It's more about the human skin

[00:23:16] And you know like your body Sure this is embarrassing Especially since we're in mixed company David You are David Sims right? That's me I know I was confused about what studio I was in But now I I should admit I'm a long time blank Thank you

[00:23:32] I love the speed racer episode David Yeah I'm very ashamed to say this I have a real stinky butt Well My butt smells terrible David I have no idea how to wipe Well I can't I mean the kit can't teach you how to wipe

[00:23:52] But it can provide you with butt wipes No I want to hear what Esther was going to say Esther I'm a big fan of your work You still work at the AV Club right? Nope That's one mistake anyone could make They're called One Wipe Charlie

[00:24:04] Is with Aluvira and Camamille I wipe so poorly I have poop on my butt cheeks Alright okay Not cutting you off Sam Sam that's enough On top of the cheeks Sam that's enough Well Instead of having to go to the store Well that's the worst part

[00:24:20] Because my butt smells so bad It kicked me out of the store Struggled to like buy products To deal with your many hygiene problems You're mounting I mean now I'm smelling it too You can use Dollar Shave Club I get an amazing high quality shave every morning

[00:24:36] For my Dollar Shave Club executive razors The best razor I've ever used And then there's the Dr. Carver Shave Butter Which is fantastic It goes on clear So you can see where you're shaving And since Dollar Shave Club Delivers everything to you

[00:24:48] You don't have to set foot in a store Wandering the aisles Hunting for razors For shampoo and body wash and toothpaste None of it Clean up your bathroom in your morning routine Join Dollar Shave Club today For just $5 with free shipping You get the 6 blade executive razor

[00:25:02] Plus trial sizes of shave butter Body cleanser and one wipe charlis Then keep the blades coming For a few bucks more a month Partner I'll take you up on that offer Thank you kindly Alright well if you go to DollarShaveClub.com Slash check You can get that for $5

[00:25:19] Exclusively at DollarShaveClub.com Slash check So you're saying I just need to Check that I have typed in DollarShaveClub.com and then I'm done Nope you go to DollarShaveClub.com Slash check I don't know why I'm struggling with that one Well thank you kindly

[00:25:34] Yep you can get it all I use it You use it I mean oh Griffin I'm talking to Griffin who is here Yeah hey how's it going Yeah we've both gotten We've both gotten the starter kit Uh yeah I mean you know

[00:25:46] I don't know if we have this big a problem With Sam Elliott clearly has I'm a stubble man You know I had a stash once for vinyl Oh I know I really loved your work on vinyl You watched vinyl? Of course every episode four times

[00:25:57] Okay Sam I got some good cesperilla Out in the kitchen I'll just escort you out okay Oh sure wait wait why are you pushing me come on Out of here That's to open the door Oh my god that guy smelled terrible

[00:26:09] Yeah I know we're going to need to air it out Can you check it on the ventilator He's been like living in the woods I'll turn on the ventilator no problem Thanks I've been using leaves as toilet paper

[00:26:19] I mean a fine actor but what an awful butt that guy You're using leaves as toilet paper But then it seemed like he wasn't wiping it away He was just rubbing it deeper into the butt Yeah he doesn't know how to wipe

[00:26:29] Alright Sam Elliott will sue us for that Let's talk about I'll do anything Okay so James L. Brooks in the time in between Has created one of the biggest TV shows of all time Yes And now he comes back to the big screen To the silver screen Yeah

[00:26:44] He says I'm going to make a musical An old fashioned movie musical That's a parody That's a parody of movie making Right Like Hollywood but not like Movie making on a set Like the development process Right Very accessible I was not expecting

[00:27:00] You thought it would be on a set or something Yeah I was not expecting that You don't get on a set until minute 100 of this movie right Sure Just the like with the sitcom And it's a sitcom set Yeah He was given 40 million dollars

[00:27:16] He hired Twyla Tharpus as choreographer He hired Forked again He hired Carol King, Prince and Shanae Doe Conner to write songs for him They made the movie with the songs in them Now was Nick Nolte dancing? Yeah okay Wait but apparently

[00:27:36] I think Nick Nolte only has one number Only and he like talks So it's like Lee Marvin and Paint Your Wagon It's like Okay there's a really funny There's a really funny L.A. Times article That sort of talked about this That like had this really mean

[00:27:51] Description of Albert Brooks' voice Yeah I mean Okay let's cast a musical A musical, a medium that's based on You know Pleasing comforting singing voices Who should be our three leads of the film Albert Brooks, Julie Kavanaugh And Nick Nolte Let's run sandpaper Across a concrete floor

[00:28:13] This story which is sort of about Like the hunt for the Prince bootlegs Said And I quote, Brooks' singing voice Has been described charitably as Gravitating towards a Jimmy Duranty or Tom Waits end of the gravely scale And less charitably As an Oscar the Grouch affectation

[00:28:31] Cause he's up in the gravel In this movie, he's going even gravely He's very gravely, there's also one Lingering shot of his left leg Like with the thigh in the foreground And you're like giving me some tokens They're so close to the tuchus He's weird?

[00:28:47] I was going to say something else, I don't want to say it Say it It was just like He's in sort of weird states Of undress throughout the movie There's some revealing pants that I was like Oh Yeah He was about 46 When he made this movie

[00:29:07] But you're right, it's like one thing to say I'm gonna make a movie musical and it's the second thing To say the stars are Nick Nolte, Albert Brooks and Julie Kavner With like Jolie Richardson is like The fourth to fifth lead Depending on where you put the kid

[00:29:19] And Can you imagine if he had The three of them harmonized together Oh it was like It's just two Three people whose voices You can charitably describe as honking It would sound like metal machine music The Lou Reed album This film that he made

[00:29:41] To be clear it exists This isn't some Zack Snyder Justice League cut They made, there's a full cut of the movie With the musical numbers They screened it for test audiences Julie Kavner was there of course Running the test screening And they gave it like F minus

[00:29:57] Or whatever Right and James L. Brooks said it nearly destroyed his soul And he went back He cut out all the musical numbers He wrote a bunch of new stuff And he did extensive reshoots Yes, he did some reshoots But he also said

[00:30:13] I conceived the story as a musical Because musicals have heightened sense of reality But even before any music I had a complete script I wrote it like any script, the songs could be lifted out of it Which to me is like you fucked up making your musical

[00:30:25] Right that's not how you make a musical But I mean I think watching it You can sort of There's this like Hans Zimmer score Which sort of like swells at certain moments Classic collaborator Hans Zimmer by the way And you can sort of tell

[00:30:39] Like when they're supposed to be Agreed Number some of the times And it doesn't totally make sense Like you're watching and you're like Was there supposed to be a musical number here That wouldn't be where you'd put a musical number I think like the big test screening

[00:30:55] I think that whole sequence is supposed to be Like a chorus number But I don't know There's one of the post Why can't I speak English anymore? One of the post-Coydoll Kavanaugh Brooks scenes Feels like it's the prelude To a song

[00:31:13] I think there's also one of the scenes at the beginning Like one of the things at the beginning with Tracy Ollman Seems like they're supposed to be You know when she's sort of saying like Like right before They decide to get married It sort of swells

[00:31:27] Can I read something else from this article Which is sort of interesting The main theme was supposed to be a song called Wow It was written by Prince And it was There were six different reprises of this throughout the movie Six! And the chorus

[00:31:45] You think you can do the song Six times but you can't anymore Okay The lyrics of the song were Wow this is crazy Wow this is wild If there ever was a time for reaction Time is now

[00:32:01] Seems like we're spending most of our lives just waiting for the big bang Extraordinary stuff That makes us say extraordinary things Like wow And then this article says One of them, one of the versions of this song A company's a Childbirth scene

[00:32:17] So I assume it would be like Tracy Ollman giving birth In which this wow In which wow was replaced by ow Esther I could really process the lyrics you Read could you do that five more times Then I think I would get it Wow this is crazy

[00:32:33] Wow this is wild So there are two contradictory things here One is We're all in full agreement If you design a musical that can totally Work without the musical numbers You probably made a bad musical But also not just That I feel you can Sense when

[00:32:53] A scene is supposed to end in a musical That's the number in this movie Not just as they're like those clear ramp-up scenes But also I feel like the pitch of the actor's Performances change Because you can feel them starting to pivot Into having to sing in 15 seconds

[00:33:07] Yeah I mean there's a sort of like In addition to the swelling of music There's like a swelling of emotion It becomes very declarative I try to write it down but I don't have Any moments in my notes but There's the sort of like

[00:33:21] I'm about to burst into song That happens and it's super weird to watch But beyond all of that I also think this movie Is missing certain emotional beats That were meant to be carried by Songs Right but on the other hand from

[00:33:37] Everything that I've heard about the songs Is that they were like This is the problem with doing musicals Where you just throw a bunch of songwriters together And like it sounds like They were so generic that they weren't actually And this is how you could rip them out

[00:33:51] And they were so generic that you could That any of the lyrics were just like Who knows this isn't nothing That's what's weird is I feel like By all accounts these songs were not plotty at all So it's not like there are any Story beats that are missed

[00:34:05] By removing this Wow Wow Mainer Ben shaking his head? You don't like that? No it's great. Okay get ready for way more of that Yeah So you're not missing like story beats But I feel like they're emotional beats

[00:34:23] Where it's like we missed the part where these two characters Got this close and that was probably Sold through them singing together Yeah all the relationships Don't totally make sense Yeah the Julie Kavanaugh Albuquerque thing doesn't really make sense I mean I guess we'll eventually get to

[00:34:39] Describing the plot of this movie but like The turn at the end with Julie Richards And like makes zero sense Zero we'll get to that it's crazy It's insane but like it's like Yeah it's like all these things maybe

[00:34:51] I mean and it's hard to know whether that was in song Or whether that was just in the cutting room floor The fact that this thing was like chopped up so many times And then like Frankenstein back into a movie But I have to think it was

[00:35:01] I mean he said like his whole reason to want to do a musical Was that he loved the idea of Like people at Breaking points where they are so overcome With one kind of emotion Or another that they have no choice But to sing

[00:35:15] So do you think he like sings during that Like scene where he yells at the development guy? Like maybe That's the thing it's like it feels like Like so instead of just like Or like I mean that's an ignore deep and instead of like

[00:35:27] Albuquerque is just like rolling It's just like Right That's crazy that's wild I mean it's just like everything that I sort of Read with him I can't remember like an exact quote that like Would put this in context but it seems like

[00:35:41] He sort of theoretically wanted to make a musical Actually but didn't actually know Either know how or like Really Understand what making a musical would Mean or do And I feel like it's the thing people tried to do and no one's ever pulled off It's like

[00:35:57] Don't hire like Twyla Tharp if you want to make A radical musical But he says he also says You can hire Twyla Tharp if you want to make a radical musical Like she does weird stuff Fair enough you're right I mean I'm saying I'm gonna defend Twyla

[00:36:11] I saw a Twyla performance Which oh oh just the joys yeah No but I don't mean like He's trying to blow it out like it sounds like From what he's hired he's making big dance Numbers like he's trying to make an old-fashioned Stunia music yeah he's not trying

[00:36:25] To do something like I don't know Or you know What's the one with Anna Kendrick last five years Which doesn't work but no But I say anti musical in that other than The musical numbers nothing about it Tips is had to be a musical Right

[00:36:43] I mean like it's just I mean If you want to make a musical you have to Like You have to it just doesn't seem like he Knew like really understood the form In any way to actually do it And this is also the movie that I would argue

[00:36:57] Kind of ruins James L. Brooks His filmmaking aesthetic Because you have the first two movies Have a kind of Tactile viscerality to them And far more like Kind of metered performances Very occasionally choosing to go For like a bigger comedic swing

[00:37:15] And then this even just the look of it becomes A lot glossier the performances become A lot bolder And it feels like they have to make up to Like get from the Brooks script To the twila numbers Right of course because if you were making

[00:37:29] A musical you would have It wouldn't be so weird to have a heightened performance That we're matching it And you're right yeah you have like That's how it works They recut the movie to pieces they re-shoot a bunch

[00:37:41] Of it comes out and people still shrug and it makes No money huge bomb and it becomes one of those Questions where it's like should they just Release the original version and it's not Like they saved anything by That's the question with so many of these things right

[00:37:53] It's like right what are you salvaging really just release It like Roger Ebert liked it He liked it it didn't actually get terrible reviews It got like mixed reviews Right and It cost 40 mil it made like 10 Yeah Obviously no awards traction No and you know

[00:38:11] There are work prints that have Circulated a round of the musical cut I tried valiantly to get my hands on one Before this started He said that he wants to Reconstruct it and put it out Along with the documentary but the problem is

[00:38:25] Apparently the song rights are impossible Yes too expensive because they were all Owned independently And songs like available to listen to He's released a couple of them on different Compilations and B sides and stuff But because they were all Different artists and they retained the rights

[00:38:41] Of their own songs I wouldn't like to watch like I would genuinely Not like to watch I mean I'd be interested To see it but I wouldn't want him to like Spend too much time like reconstructing it Or trying to make it work because like that's

[00:38:53] A waste of time however Like I actually think a documentary about this Is sort of like Meri what was that Like that would be like I would watch that That would be really interesting I would love to watch that because also just

[00:39:05] A window into like mid 90s like studio Filmmaking Right because it's and I mean I think too That's the other weird thing about this movie Is like it is a parody Of this development process But like it's still it's a different time It feels alien in some ways

[00:39:21] This whole thing feels like the whole The whole thing that he's parroting Feels like different So different and so like something That doesn't really register On any scale Well like Albert Brooks is playing Joel Silver And he's playing Joel Silver at a very particular Moment and it's like

[00:39:39] A very specific encapsulation Of a moment in time for how Hollywood ran It's not like all of that's out the window It's not like all of it was unprecedented Before then or none of it is Lingered but there's like something Very time-capsulated about what it's Paradeeing

[00:39:55] Interesting to sort of delve into that And like what he was really trying to get at Here I mean it's yeah This is the same well no When's last action hero 95 93 Because it was the Jurassic Park year The shots of people going through

[00:40:13] Like the test screening like counting That way that's really that's sort of That was sort of interesting to me Cause it's like that's like a glimpse Into this weird process in this weird Point in time with but But still the rest of it like there's no

[00:40:27] Context for it I doubt even an audience then would You know I mean it's so behind the scenes No but my point is like There were so many movies there were a lot Of movies right around now that were Making fun of like Hollywood And like the popcornization

[00:40:43] Of like studio Hollywood in this weird way And they all never were Like the player is Beloved sure it was not a huge Financial success right but that Yeah right that is an arch clever Movie right now The only movie about Movie making that is Full on successful

[00:41:03] Financially Cause it was like when that came out and they were like I can't believe they let him make a hundred million Dollars inside baseball movie His movies always fail America's sweethearts Was actually a hit Which is also all about junkets

[00:41:19] Inside it could have done better but it was a hit Yes that's true Those are the only obvious ones to me Like bow finger but that's sort of You know that's sort of A hijink comedy you know Burn Hollywood burn is like a noted Disaster

[00:41:35] Burn Hollywood burn you're gonna bring that up Right I'm saying this But yes you're right lots of those kinds of movies Very fertile territory I'll do anything So It's time to talk about the plot Of I'll do anything right Ben Nick Nolte He plays Matt Hobbs

[00:41:55] Guys and his Origin story no I'm not gonna let you stop me No I was just gonna say You wanna talk about a movie referencing So specific a moment The most specific moment He was nominated in the famous 1980 Emmys That aired during an actor strike

[00:42:13] There was a sag strike and every Actor said that they were going to Boycott the Emmys Crazy element is really pissed about it Only one actor showed up In any category He was the only one who showed up for any of their nominations

[00:42:27] Okay he was the only actor He was a fairly young actor at the time Yes powers booth We know him Yeah RIP but we know him from What do we know him from? Deadwood Sin City Playing a lot of grumpy guys

[00:42:43] Beating Sam Elliott out of a few roles Right Or maybe picking up the crumbs When Sam Elliott's quote was too hard He was nominated For best lead actor in a limited series Against and it is crazy These are all movie stars Jason Robards

[00:42:59] For playing like FDR or something Two time Academy Award winner Henry Fonda And Tony Curtis Yeah and Tony Curtis for playing David O. Selznick So they just CGI or whatever Nicknultes face as the fifth nominee Who was the fifth nominee? There wasn't one maybe that's why they

[00:43:17] Pick this category They could just like plausibly squeeze him in But also it was infamous because powers booth He showed up he played Jim Jones The cult leader guy In some TV movie and he won And he was like

[00:43:31] This is either the best or worst decision of my life You know like he had like a sort of a joke About it And it was kind of both Working as a character actor It sort of made him look a little disingenuous

[00:43:43] But it also gave him a big platform He was so new he had only been in like cruising Like that was it He'd like never done anything before Anyway Nultes nominated he watches at home He loses I wonder if they sent something to the Nominees

[00:43:59] Yeah he's pretty funny about it He's with his girlfriend played by Tracy Alman Then they decide to get married Do you know something crazy about this film Is that 1994 Simpsons has been on for About five years at this point Tracy Alman Sued Fox

[00:44:17] Because she believed that she was entitled To a percentage of the Simpsons And its merchandise Which was huge at this time The Simpsons which is produced by Gracie Films James L. Brooks' company So she did not bring Gracie Films or James L. Brooks

[00:44:33] Into the lawsuit because the lawsuit Was happening while she was making this movie Wow And James L. Brooks had to like Record a testimony on tape And then submit it and not show up In court so that there wasn't like a conflict Of interest You are correct

[00:44:51] She didn't lose it It was dismissed But she still got a percentage Really They gave her some percentage For some unclear reason But she does continue to get an annual share Of the show's profits So I'm sure Tracy is doing Okay Tracy is doing fine

[00:45:13] Tracy Alman in this movie Esther Zuckerman She walks the line in any performance She's on the wrong side of the line with this one Tracy Alman a phenomenal talent Not someone who is A big fan of naturalism Let's say And it's not like Right

[00:45:33] She's giving a sketch comedy performance And the character also is Very one dimensional to begin with She's just unpleasant She sucks, what is she I mean She's Nothing, she's like Shrill lady in quotes Mother grubbing, money grubbing, redneck In three scenes she goes from Kind of annoying girlfriend

[00:45:57] To like pain in the ass wife And then she starts yelling about their kid And how big a fuck up he is Which is fine And then criminal Who has raised a demon child Yes, that reveal is crazy That reveal is crazy Yeah, so like she's Suddenly

[00:46:17] She's a white collar criminal So the opening scene is He watches Powers Booth accept He loses the Emmy Probably the high point of his career And she sort of pass aggressively nudges him About Yeah, he's like The only reason that I haven't asked you is

[00:46:37] Because acting is going to be my everything And I want you to know this You might not have stability She's like that's fine, I don't care That's one of the things I like most about you Is how much you love acting And then obviously they have a child

[00:46:51] They get married, they have a child And obviously it's like He's not because he won't get up to help the baby Because he's not like a read Like a read through in the morning or something Like they cut to seven years later Five and a half

[00:47:05] And the baby is six months old First they cut to the baby being a little Which is I think that's like six months later That's what I'm saying, they cut two No, that doesn't make sense though Because if it's 1980 And I'll do anything except 1994 It does not matter

[00:47:23] And then six years later they just had a child The child is six months old He asks her to go up And take care of the crying baby Because he's got a big reading Which is like So he's probably doing a reading of a script

[00:47:37] That isn't an addition with the hopes That maybe they consider him if the thing ever gets made Yeah, it's unclear Right, he's grasping at straws And she's clearly had it To hear with him She cries in his face He cuts again Still struggling Still a struggling actor

[00:47:57] She lives in Atlanta And he goes in for a reading Or he goes into He's going to a production company For some reason He knows ahead of time That the kid is coming And he needs money For a visit He's met this woman A D-girl

[00:48:19] He's met this woman in an acting class And he cold calls her And she's like, well they're casting a project right now I'll do anything if you got anything That's the title of the movie And that girl is Jolie Richardson

[00:48:31] And this is, we should say, the Jolieist movie Evermade You have Jolie Richardson and Jolie Fisher True In the same fucking movie And Jolie Kavner Not since Dr. Strange Had two Benedicts Has one movie Had two uncommon names Both in their Top eight billed actors

[00:48:55] So he goes in for the audition He goes in for the audition This is my favorite scene in the movie It's really good This is the scene where I was sort of like I'd started this movie, I wasn't sure what the fuck was going on

[00:49:07] And I leaned forward and I was like Oh, like This is like a James L. Brooks moment When he's crying in the audition When he's giving this really intense audition He has like two pages And he's the director Ian McCallan Is John Earl McAlpine

[00:49:25] And he's got like, Jod Furze and a hat He's playing like a parody of a British director guy And he's like half of a pair of glasses Right? I don't know Either my TV screen is broken Or he is holding one spectacle And one arm In his hands

[00:49:43] Like a monocle Or maybe it's that thing with the glasses The Magnet glasses And he does this read That's like I need to like Can I read the whole script first? And Brooks is giving him the interview No, we make popcorn movies here Right, right, because he's like

[00:50:03] Let's just do the interview and then we'll have you read And he's like, can we skip the interview part I don't like that Here's the role I'm not kidding, I make popcorn movies Brooks has like a 15 minute monologue Where he just like negates everything he says

[00:50:17] What do we think of? It's just bombast It's too much It's weird cast I think he's kind of bad It's the first movie he's made since broadcast news No, no, no, he'd made Defending Your Life in between He also made The Scout this year

[00:50:33] Which is like a pretty cute movie in my memory A Frasier picture Yeah, and then he makes Mother A couple years after that This is sort of like the twilight of his Movie star career I guess He's really kind of put the emphasis more

[00:50:49] On his own films and he takes a while in between films Yeah, and he's just chilling out Right? I mean Yeah, he does voices on The Simpsons sometimes That's it, like he really is just chilling out And they cast him as Joel Silver And like Ron Silver plays

[00:51:03] Joel Silver in True Romance Isn't he essentially playing Joel Silver In that film? I think he is Yes And like what's the other one I'm thinking of You know, you could go like casting like a Michael Lerner type That makes sense Sure, right, well he was Barton Fink

[00:51:19] Right, someone plays a Joel Silver analog And gets Shorty as well Okay There are people who have done successfully at this point In time because he was such a big figure And then you hire Albert Brooks who is So vulnerable and so neurotic

[00:51:33] To play this guy who's like no filter All bluster Right And they don't change his look at all Which is kind of distracting Because Albert Brooks has such a defined persona At this point That's true, he's usually inhibitioned in this one He's playing like a ball buster

[00:51:51] Right and I'm like can we just put sunglasses on him Could he grow some stubble Could we like put him in leather Like it just feels like when he's wearing like A decent shirt type Like tucked into nice slacks Like yeah leather daddy crap Well he's an asshole

[00:52:07] We get that right away His company, his shingle Is called popcorn pictures in case you don't get it And He has Nolte read And he turns, Nolte like Reaches into his soul And gives us a move, it's like It's a break up scene Something like that

[00:52:27] There's this pause where Brooks is like why didn't you do the quack You got a quack Like why would I quack It's in the script you have to quack And then he's like cause it's a comedy Yeah right, it's not a comedy And all the trailers in 5200 theaters

[00:52:41] Are wrong They already have a teaser out but they haven't hired the guy They say the part works tomorrow But Nolte does a really I love this Like his acting as the character within the scene Is so impressive It's like kind of what you want

[00:52:57] Out of like movies like La La Land Where it's like you want the scene in the beginning La Land almost does it I was thinking about this on the way here That this is like James Albrecht sort of wanted to make La La Land Except

[00:53:13] He also just had a lot of dumb ideas About like there's a kid and there's too much other stuff In the soup And we haven't even gotten to the craziest idea he has In this film What's the craziest idea he has Julie Kavanaugh's prescription cocktail

[00:53:27] And pervious to lies I mean yeah well we're about to get to that Yeah Julie Kavanaugh, Nan She plays a lady called Nan She's got lyre lyre disease She's right incapable of Bullshit So he leaves He's trying to get in his car It's this devastating scene

[00:53:49] Where he has essentially laid himself bare In this like already embarrassing situation That like read in front of the producers And Brooke says to me like look You're wrong for this Yeah let's have you back for something else And so he says that's Jolie Richardson

[00:54:03] And all the other D people are like Who, who's that guy? The D girls are Jolie Richardson Jolie Fisher And Vicki Lewis of news radio White martyrs And then one guy Who kind of looks like Josh Brolin But who is he I was trying to figure it out

[00:54:23] I meant to look this up before we got here I scoured him to me trying to figure out who he was Okay I'm gonna try to get a cup of coffee while you're I'm gonna have you meet this cup of coffee Is it Jeb Brown? Could it be?

[00:54:35] Jeb Brown I think it is, it's Jeb Brown Yep This guy Alright well I'm gonna take this opportunity to talk a little bit about the fashion Since we're just like taking a break here Yeah which is waiting for For Griffin to come back Discussing the plot

[00:54:53] This is the worst Worst Representation of 90s fashion Just big Like boxies Yeah pillowy slacks Shoulder pads Just bad fabrics Bad ensembles Bad haircuts Really not great hair Like Jolie Kavanaugh's haircut is rough Yeah I remember thinking in that read scene When Nick Nolte's like standing there

[00:55:23] Like it was crazy His pants were crazy Because they're like very big When he moves you can sort of There's a whole atmospheric shift happening His crotch It's like there's more crotch than there are Like pants They're the equivalent of his legs I would like to counter this

[00:55:43] With saying one thing about the fashion The kids fashion is really cute Yeah the kids are pretty cute They have some like fun sort of like Blossomy like punky Booster is layering I like it, I like it A lot of layer dresses It's cute I think that works

[00:56:03] So then let's say we'll say the adults fashion The adults fashion is very bad in this movie Great We're talking about the fashion in the movie Griffin I have some bad news Sam Elliott has wiped his butt alongside The audio bill officer I saw a kind of glimpse

[00:56:19] When he opened the door just sort of a line It looks like a racing stripe You're talking about the fashion in the movie Yeah it's interesting It's bad Except for the kid, I think the kids got a good look She's got a great sense of style

[00:56:33] So have we gotten up to the kid yet? This movie is also shot by Michael Bauhaus Who's like a great DP And it's all like orange glow Even in his crappy apartments It's like this very old fashion look And he shot Broadcast news

[00:56:49] He also shot a lot of the fast bender films And a lot of the Scorsese movies A lot of Scorsese movies So I will say the scene In the test screening in the valley Is like the color palette That I associate With the valley in the valley

[00:57:05] Which is where I grew up Sure, right It's got that kind of like Scenes from a mall A little too shiny It's like the image I have Of this Sherman Oaks Galleria before it became nice Sure I'm talking about America's Number one favorite streaming service Netflix

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[00:57:49] That gives you unlimited access to a wide variety of high effective World-class workouts I mean some people use it for that I just like watching it It's my favorite type of programming It's good content Do you have another angle that you want to pitch?

[00:58:03] Well, you're saying that your favorite TV show is Insanity or 21 Day Fix Retweet You should retweet this ad Well So you're telling me That you've been using Beachbody On Demand Who are friends of the show Just to watch some entertaining TV

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[00:58:39] And they have a few different yoga workouts Um That you could just do at home And it's been really great I actually have been getting into a routine of doing it a few times a week And it's really been helping me get in better shape Feel better

[00:58:53] Right, but that's pretty weird I mean most people just watch it for the TV Oh my god, is he gonna pull off the pose? He did Not you too, David No, I've been using it to keep in shape too Yeah Um, no, Beachbody On Demand is convenient

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[01:00:08] Just text check to 3033 Yeah And uh, you can use Beachbody On Demand And I'm just gonna say if you love Stranger Things You will go bananas for P90X It's very similar When I was gone did you cover the uh The show for offer

[01:00:24] Well, so that's what happens next Yeah, okay Alberg's driver is late And so he wants him to drive him Then the car shows up and Brooks is like Drive me in the nice car, not in your junker And I'm sorry, who's the driver who Jake Busey

[01:00:40] And it's weird because they insult Gary Busey In this movie Too much teeth Right, he's one of the many actors They drag in the scene I love that scene actually I think the list of what they're going to do Well this is good except for when Nolte

[01:00:56] Explodes and that's Nolte takes it I would say a step too far But that's Nolte's performance in this movie He's like such a Throbbing nerve In this movie that's otherwise like Fairly gentle He kind of cares too much about the work But it's not

[01:01:14] That's what a lot of Brooks movies are like There's just something here where The tone is being mismanaged That you'll see again in Spanglish And well not in so much Because everyone's just sort of asleep in that one But like you know in like a

[01:01:28] Taillioni performance where like they have an angle And then he's just like amp it up I have not seen Spanglish all the way through But you were like I You sort of had mentioned this to me and I started Watching it last night

[01:01:40] And I couldn't finish because I had to work But yeah Like the Taillioni at the beginning of that movie Where she's just going crazy I'm not mad There's a lack of specificity To Nick Nolte's career in this movie Or rather his craft I would say

[01:01:58] That doesn't come in until the very end When he's working with the daughter Right, I mean I think that's the sort of He had this one success and you just don't know Why he didn't You don't understand why he didn't Make it like what happened

[01:02:12] And Julie Richardson says that at one point When they're walking out they go who is that guy They said he got nominated for the miniseries But for some reason he hasn't been able to get arrested He was in platoon and he says he walks by a rape scene

[01:02:24] That's the joke It's a joke about Oliver Stone's intense content I guess this was the year natural born killers came out And the joke But he was like an extra, he was a glorified extra It sounds like he was basically an extra

[01:02:36] But he originally had a bigger part He originally had a line He's like George Clooney and In one of the most annoying things I mean the Julie Richardson characters Like so annoying In one of the most annoying things she's like Were you going for like

[01:02:52] A mixture of like I don't know, she like interprets His performance in like Two seconds like that she remembered That he was on screen which like Come on, and she like interprets She's like that he's like that's exactly what I was going for

[01:03:06] And you're like do you know what's a weird thing Now that I've been experiencing I now like Recognize background Actors in movies and TV shows Because I've like worked with them And not like people I've like Talked to or have relationships with

[01:03:22] But it's like you start to see the same people around Because they do multiple background gigs Right and it's just like Oh fuck, like that woman going wow In the crowd I have seen that in person Right she's like Mater Wow this is crazy

[01:03:38] Yeah but it's very rare that like One sticks in your memory Right I mean but that's because you've seen them in person Right and this movie Claims at least for Jolie Richardson Who has such an eye for talent Right that she saw the intent

[01:03:52] Of his walk and recognized that's a real actor Her whole thing is that she You know she's frustrated She wants to make a real movie She wants to make a real movie but she like You know she hides her opinions She's like not gonna

[01:04:06] She's not gonna tell the truth And that's the name of the shingle that she wants to work for instead Is real movies Leave her job at popcorn films And work at real movies Subtle Okay so the kid is next right Kid's pretty early

[01:04:22] Is the test screening in between The kid doesn't show up I think for too long I was gonna say right there's the test screening scene Where he meets Cavner Which I think was a big musical never That makes sense The way they shoot the crowd shots

[01:04:36] Feels like they're supposed to go into I think they're supposed to be singing wow Is that where they watch the Woody Harrelson action Movie where he says sorry to bust your chops And then you hit somebody with a big pork chop A meat based action film

[01:04:48] You know one of those They were big in the 90s But like that Brooks having a line And working a whole idea around it And then the Julie Cavner characters Who would be like the perfect person to run a test screening Someone who can't lie

[01:05:02] So let me figure out a way like backwards To get into that They don't set that up in this scene I was really into her character In this scene because she Busted chops because she's like I haven't seen my daughter in like two years

[01:05:16] She's like you're full of shit What do you mean you haven't seen your daughter You can see your daughter If you have a child you have to prioritize everything You move heaven and earth to see that I'm gonna jump ahead but the next time she encounters him

[01:05:28] And they're talking about the kid She's like I'm sorry She had switched anti depressants Or was on different anti depressants Like anti depressants I can't remember She's like she blamed it on the drugs And she was like I'm sorry Like I was feeling weird that day

[01:05:44] She's on a weird balance of pills That now makes her incapable of lying But her doctors won't let her drop it Because they want to use her as a case study So they're paying her to study Why she can't lie Which never comes in the plot again

[01:05:58] Except for the fact that she's very honest This is what I'm saying This is just him finding a back way He's not gonna lie Just have a character who's Who's bluntly honest A Julie Kavner type Chill out Take it down Can I be completely honest

[01:06:18] I took notes in this movie I watched it carefully What's gonna be an explanation Cause I wrote down You can see my note but it's anti depressants Question mark Cause I think that threw me off so much didn't like hear the full explanation about like her lying?

[01:06:36] I rewound it two times. It is... Okay, thank you. Throw it off! I felt really bad. I was just sitting here for a moment and I felt really bad that I was like,

[01:06:43] oh my god did I not? But I wrote down anti-presence. I was like what is this? Maybe it was supposed to be explained more in depth via song, but it's kind of tossed off over the shoulder and then... A mottic cocktail of men.

[01:06:55] Never referenced ever again because as she develops this relationship with Albert Brooks she keeps on criticizing him for saying these mean things to her. That he keeps on being too honest without consideration for feelings. Yeah, it just doesn't make sense.

[01:07:09] And she's not like, look I know a little bit about not lying. I medically cannot lie. So those are our characters right now we've explained them all or the movie except for the kid. Except for...

[01:07:21] The test screening looks like it goes well but then Kavanaugh comes out and gives the numbers. She's like, yeah. It's like actually if you look... This moment when he like sort of swings around a pole where I'm like maybe he was supposed to sing then.

[01:07:32] Right, it's a little singing in the rain. But Brooks is kind of like immediately feeling beaten down but then he has him on a connection. He asks Kavanaugh out to dinner at that scene right? Yes, correct. He's like you do want to get dinner tonight. Yeah.

[01:07:48] Okay so now... And then the next scene is them and Bet together. Like we don't even see the difference. He's got a weird bet. Oh yeah he does. Weird apartment. Right. It's supposed to be rich like... It looks like a... Doesn't seem that rich. Big guy.

[01:07:58] A dog bed. Yeah, it's like a couch. It's like... Right. It's like the bed that Garfield sleeps in. It's like a box. Right? It's like perfectly square. I don't know how you get in and out of that bed. Yeah. And they don't show it.

[01:08:09] Right and it has like raised edges. You have to jump. You have to like dive into the bed. That looks to me it's fun. I don't know. The first time they showed it... Bed dive.

[01:08:16] I thought it was one of those things where you put two couches together facing each other. Because it's like totally enclosed. Do you know what I'm saying? Let's talk about the kid played by Whitney Wright. Okay, so Note gets on a plane.

[01:08:27] He goes to Tracy Olman's place and character actor Robert Joy comes out. Oh that's right. He actually has to go to... Right of course he goes to Atlanta. She has a call with her and it's like can't you just put the kid in the plane and he's like...

[01:08:40] She's like no. And that's the call that Brooks interrupts. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Right. So then he gets here and Robert Joy walks out and he's like oh Jesus Christ. God happy to be out of the house. Thank God you're here. I'm not allowed to smoke around the kid.

[01:08:52] She's like crazy about it. Right. You think he's the other man. Right. And the turn of this scene where Tracy Olman is like... It's not a visit you actually have to just take the kid is the guy being like oh I'm a U.S.

[01:09:05] Marshall and she's going to jail. So I just like to interject at this moment because this movie is just like white privilege. Like to a T. I was saying this off mic before we record it and I think this is the best encapsulation of that.

[01:09:21] That oh the white mother gets to wait an extra day with the Marshall at the house so that the father will show up. Fuck you. Yeah. I mean that gets me so angry. You didn't tell him? Yeah.

[01:09:35] Like no he would be behind her going like fucking tell him. She would... The girl would be lost in like foster care system already if this was real life. The government would have notified him.

[01:09:46] And the kid is most spoiled brat you've ever met in your entire life or ever encountered. So this is part of what confuses me so much about Brooks's decision making with this movie. Like because again it's like did he decide that Tracy Olman's character would just be evil?

[01:10:03] And thus the kid is a pain in the ass. Right because she's not before. The first scene she totally tolerates. Does he just decide like well she needs to be a pain in the ass but at least she's

[01:10:11] being awful otherwise there's no way for me to get the kid to nulty right? Yeah. Because and is that why the kid is then just a nightmare? Why did he decide to make this movie about a kid who's just a nightmare?

[01:10:23] And she's I mean and she and she's Tracy Olman is like feeding the kid all this like weird garbage. Right insane right and they have this routine where she's like compromise and they like strike a bargain where the kid gets what she wants or whatever.

[01:10:35] And also can I... One of the things that baffles me about the kid... Say anything about that. The kid is five and a half and can't read. Fair point yes can't read. Can't read and like I don't know.

[01:10:50] And it's not it's brought up a lot in the movie but it's not even brought up as like a bad thing. Like it's sort of weird this kid is five and a half and can't read anything.

[01:10:57] I mean some kids can't read that age you know between four and seven is when you're learning to read I guess. Okay maybe I'm right. Yeah no it's sort of like that. It was but it... I was an early reader but I don't want to judge everyone.

[01:11:07] Yeah that was nice. Ben just gave me a great look. Nolte assumes that Robert Joy is the boyfriend and he says like look you want to run away with this guy. Oh because he goes like I'll bring her back in two weeks.

[01:11:21] And she's like actually a little longer. He's like what you're going on vacation or something. And Robert Joy's like you fucking you had one job tell him I'm going away forever. She committed like a white collar crime where she's like an accomplice. I have the exact line ready.

[01:11:35] I loved help and supported in every way possible a businessman who committed the terrible crime of being financially imaginative with a pension fund. Right okay yes right. Now you said was this just necessary to get a plot. Yeah you know what other movie does something nearly identical.

[01:11:54] How do you know? What movie? Bulldog. The reason Robin Williams has to take over the kids is because Kelly Preston has not warned him that she's going to jail for an environmental protest. Now I never thought I would compliment old dogs on anything.

[01:12:11] But you're saying that's like sweating. Old dogs does a better job. You can have the mother go to jail for reasons that don't make her a terrible person. Sure right. But this is this is my question this chicken egg question. But the child has.

[01:12:24] Does he want the kid to be evil? I think he wants the kid to be evil. Because I think because he wants there to be a turn with the kid that like he has to take care of it.

[01:12:31] He has to take care of this nightmare kid like I think he's genuinely wrong. Because otherwise it would just be like a gloppy like dramedy about like a cute kid who helps him figure out his life. Well I hate it also because like it's like.

[01:12:42] It is Clifford Esk. This problem child. Okay this is what's surprising about this movie and these characterizations is like I thought at the beginning like in the moment when you know he's not

[01:12:52] getting up to help the kid and he's like my acting is my career that he was going to make and then when Julie Kavanaugh yells at him like that he was going to make him a bad guy.

[01:13:01] But you quickly realize after this that he is 100% convinced of his decency. Like that Matt Hobbes is like the greatest guy ever. Like he his shortcomings or whatever. Sure. He is a really good guy.

[01:13:14] So like he has so if he if he doesn't want to believe that the guy is that the guy is bad then he has to make the kid a fucking nightmare. That's a very good point because right A it's like the movie feels like it's

[01:13:25] actually calling him out on his bullshit in the opening scene. But it's not. Like guess what even if you think you're a nice guy if you haven't seen your kid in two years you're a bad person.

[01:13:32] Or like trying to do like if he it's doing a Hollywood parody trying to do a parody of like this struggling actor who'll do anything like he's not but he's not parodying that he's not he's not criticizing this guy in any way.

[01:13:44] And you know there is like a certain subgenre of like light comedies about men who are not prepared to raise a kid who was dropped off you know but like those types of movies your big daddies and your what have yous usually it's like this man has some

[01:13:57] growing up to do he doesn't know how to well what do you eat saltines like that kind of like yeah but no this guy is a good guy. He takes to it almost immediately none of it's on him it's all that she fucking

[01:14:09] sucks she's a bad kid she yeah she gets on the plane she's a bad kid immediately he's doing his heart it she throws tantrums about everything she throws tantrums she like pretends to hit herself so the entire plane judges him

[01:14:20] she locks herself in the thing she screams and she screams so much yeah she's a devil child that sequence is kind of funny and like a farce way it's funny one time but then

[01:14:31] like everything she does is okay in my the other thing I wrote in my notes I can't remember when exactly I wrote this but I was like is this movie disturbing?

[01:14:39] It is well I think it is yeah because that's when he's been in an apartment in the apartment right and he's like you can sleep in the bed or you can sleep over there like near me if

[01:14:48] you want to sleep near me and she's like here and you're like okay all right maybe this is settling down right and then the next day is him like dropping her off at like the downstairs neighbor

[01:14:57] I mean see what Ben said about like the white privilege right when he just knocks on the the Hispanic ladies door and is like can you take this child yeah I've seen you in the laundry

[01:15:05] room I see you have a lot of kids I guess you know how to deal with kids right and she's like well I'm always here Ben's just it's like yeah it's like it's literally and she's like yeah I guess

[01:15:15] okay which is also mind-blogging like right mind-blogging it's mind-blogging it's mind-blogging honest to blog and then he like goes upstairs here's the kids here's screaming again goes downstairs thinking like god I've dumped this nightmare kid onto my neighbor and then it opens the door

[01:15:30] and it's like no her kid is screaming and he's like but then there's other stuff where he like where he has to take the kid back and he's literally like holding her like like upside

[01:15:38] down sure and she's like I don't want to go back with you yeah I mean she's I'm sorry we just brushed over been horribly raised one of the three craziest things that happens in this movie

[01:15:49] okay he leaves he's gone for what a minute or two sure here's the screaming and runs back upstairs he sees that it's this woman's son one of her children crying instead and she goes he goes oh

[01:16:02] take her back and he goes actually could you leave her here a little longer my son fell and he's crying and she's the only one he lets hold her right so it's sort of like

[01:16:13] it's been two minutes and it's sort of like that happened over the course of 120 seconds that the only way to stop him from crying is this little girl who's an inch taller than him and like

[01:16:22] from what we know a terrible child what what chill out Griffin it's very strange yeah it's weird but that also now allows him to go and live his life with total freedom and impunity because

[01:16:38] it's like any scene where the kid's not there it's because he's he dropped it off right he's off the hook yeah like he's got a sort of pro bono babysitter at all hours and that's

[01:16:47] like the other kind of using thing about this movie it's like if he wants to make a movie that's about like kid raising a kid and a parody of like the development process why not have the kid

[01:16:56] there and and it's like the movie will go through a stretch of like 15 or 20 minutes where it's like oh because we have like a nolte scene a jolly scene and like a cavernor brook scene

[01:17:06] back to back now we just haven't seen the kid for 15 or 20 minutes who's like ostensibly the impetus for the entire plot right so i mean he continues to struggle to let teach this kid to

[01:17:20] be a fucking human being but it's like he doesn't even spend that much time with the shot with the kid there's like the first half of this movie i was kind of into it i liked the audition

[01:17:28] scene i thought it was going somewhere once the kid shows up the plot disappears from the movie there's no it's just like a bunch of shit happening i have in my note is like the scene

[01:17:37] where with a list of actors where he's like that scene because he's not just hanging around a popcorn pictures is like a show for sort of the driver right now this is where the movie just

[01:17:45] starts to feel like a movie that had a bunch of musical numbers cut out of it that doesn't cut together right like where it's just like a bunch of ideas like that scene like the scene

[01:17:54] with julie cabner now but brooks at the restaurant yeah like where it's just like here's an idea about you know here's like hollywood sketch for you i mean the next thing that really happens

[01:18:03] is like she wants to make the jolly richards and wants to make mr deans goes to town right she's 10 years early on an adam sammel movie yeah which is it's crazy now that this movie is kind of like

[01:18:15] it doesn't make any sense because you know that mr deeds was remade into like a fucking dick in balls comedy yeah um but she wants to make this like you know and and she it's after so he goes

[01:18:28] there's that big scene where he blows up like he the mail number whatever yeah or whatever his name was we these are some of the best guys out there yeah yeah i'm only going to shit you know bad scan

[01:18:40] beanpole which is a weird that was the strike against sure Daniels at the time james spader was vanilla which is like crazy because he is so much spice too much i mean i love spader but that's

[01:18:53] what he's known for is like just paprika everywhere right um and then he and he and no he goes crazy yeah the guy goes like hey you know how about you stay in my business he goes that's the problem this is

[01:19:07] my business and you're in it right and everyone like freaks out they're like you know yeah he thinks like oh fuck i've ruined myself i'm fired and then vicki lewis comes after him and is like no stay

[01:19:20] please yeah and everyone's like oh this is fine and the d guys like are you going to beat me up and he's like no i'm not going to beat you up and then this like inspires jolly richardson to like she's

[01:19:30] the fire and yeah to like to put him in a mr. deeds remake right she like she goes to she will she goes to she goes to albert books and she's like like i need this like i need to make

[01:19:41] this there's this project that i've been developing wait guys we didn't talk about the sex scene no no that happens after this after that happens after this because i want to talk about the sex

[01:19:49] scene because it's like one of the most upsetting sex scenes i've ever seen in my entire life it's the prequel to the spango sex scene but but there's another thing that happens before

[01:19:57] that that's even more upsetting but we'll get to that very short she so she she goes to albert she's like i need this like i need this in my life gives him the heart i'm gonna die basically

[01:20:04] it's into it he's like yeah this is what i'm looking for and basically like she's she goes to matt and basically he's her only guy yeah he's the only guy he's the only guy testing she calls him

[01:20:15] she's like great news i'm finally going to make a movie i know what you want to sit what you want to talk okay he goes she goes to his house well first she calls and says okay well who do you

[01:20:25] want me to play because deeds of course long fellow deeds will send me the script fuck that i'm bringing it over right now yeah no she couriers it over she goes she comes in person

[01:20:37] yes because the craziest oh you're right yeah second craziest part of this movie number one is the kid only being able to stop crying when a six-year-old holds him uh-huh number two is drops off

[01:20:48] the script is so excited about it and then the daughter pulls jolly richardson down with herculean strength to her level yeah kisses her square on the lips and says i love you long period

[01:21:00] of time it says i love you very weird it doesn't make any sense not not revisited no although no no the time up a five-year-old sexually assaulted a grown woman maybe there's some germ of an idea that brooks

[01:21:13] has where it's like these are parallel characters because they're like both kind of like hollywood superficial people i don't know connection to the kid is continually weird the entire time because at some point it's like right because the idea is jolly see something in the kid right

[01:21:29] maybe the kid actually likes her but then the kid calls her poopy kathy at one point right because it's like is this now going to become the new mother figure there's the earlier scene where

[01:21:38] nolte's talking and jolly richardson and he goes like so are you just totally wonderful and it's like okay so they're gonna fall in love that's clear where this movie's going there are two people

[01:21:46] with integrity in an industry that doesn't value it maybe yeah so it's unclear what's happening there and then is the scene where she he he's like i'll come to you after i've read the script

[01:21:58] right and there's a sign on the door immediately right and there's a sign on a door that's like if you loved it enter if you didn't you know if you didn't love it like knock or something right and

[01:22:06] she entered and he enters yes and she he's like wandering the head then she runs by fully front full full frontal nudity just totally nude and then and she's like oh i'm trying to figure

[01:22:19] out how to describe this really yes that's great because that's he slips it in full frontal nudity it's brief but it is but it's her yeah taller uh then and i something's got to give was

[01:22:31] also pg 13 you know you can sneak in a comedy i know but i believe no you what what are you gonna say i think you're saying you can see downstairs in this one and not it not in something's

[01:22:43] positive it's very very you can see downstairs in this movie i watched the scene five times i just had to know i had to know how do you know david but but also not just because of the the nudity

[01:22:58] i could not figure out what she was saying afterwards so i had to watch it five times timed it until i got the closed caption on she said i missed timed it i wanted you to

[01:23:07] see me full frontal which i guess what she wanted was i can't tell if she's making a joke to cover up for being embarrassed but then the note on the door makes it seem like that was her plan

[01:23:17] that she was hoping the second he walked out she would walk out and then she puts on a shirt because she's right like i think she wants she's clearly she's like come over let's make but can

[01:23:25] i talk about this insane thing that happens when she pops out the door to say i missed timed it i wanted you to see me full frontal she's not just popping out at an angle it's like she is lying

[01:23:36] yeah she's very high on the door but she is 100 horizontal it's very weird fucking 15 feet off the ground again it's like something out of a heightened like old-fashioned studio movie almost yeah like it's cartoonish yeah so then now she's wearing a shirt and they talk about the script

[01:23:54] they're talking about the script and then he's basically like can we can i just do this privately and she's basically like yeah let's fuck right so then she right he's like wow my process i don't

[01:24:03] want people seeing me yeah okay fine he is about to start reading she she kiss attacks him yeah and then they start fucking but she doesn't want to turn her phone off i'm a phone person yeah she gets a lot

[01:24:16] of phone calls and she gets a lot of phone calls and his face is so upsetting the first phone call is a guy saying look i know you don't care that much about one month anniversaries but if you

[01:24:25] don't want to be with him yeah so that's like the first clue that like maybe she's a bad person they continue fucking while a guy breaks up with her on the phone yeah what else is there

[01:24:33] someone calls with like gossip like roseo donald the makeup artist calls with gossip you won't believe who's gay yeah yeah i can't remember what the other calls are because i'm just like looking

[01:24:42] at his like sweaty right disgusting but then the fourth call is the kindly neighbor oh yes because nick nolte has left the number with her of jolly richardson's house yes it's his daughter on the phone going like i think this is the wrong number

[01:25:00] and he like falls off so right so they're halfway through sex or whatever and he has to stop or something right because he promised her he'd do something you promise me you'd be back in time

[01:25:08] so we could sing songs or something right i like honest this is where i'm just getting sick of this movie like i just turned on this film okay i'm gonna ask a very difficult question

[01:25:17] do you think the performance of the daughter in this movie is good i've i spent the whole time trying to parse it it's just a horrible character it's such a horrible character that like

[01:25:31] the kid was asked to scream no i think it's bad i think she's good but i also think you know what i just decided like unpleasant as possible i think of this if she was giving a better

[01:25:41] performance the character might make more sense as it is it's like okay she's just evil okay she's a weird kid i mean she's got funny like gestures and yeah but that would work better with

[01:25:52] a good performance like that would make more sense so then i think they go back to his place and she takes out her like mr mic and does what is the only remaining musical number which was supposed

[01:26:02] to turn into a full blown musical number in the end credits you hear the full produce studio with carol king that's the carol king carol king wrote that song right it's the song

[01:26:11] you open the episode with when everyone turned the episode off you are the cast whatever you can cut everything i kind of like that song i think it's a banger what's the matter buddy i'm sorry i'm just stressed out uh what's what's going on

[01:26:26] ben cut this out i mean cut this out yeah my dad's having financial problems but i don't want to talk about this on the show it's not a thing i want to talk we've never talked about it because

[01:26:35] you've cut it out every time every time i mean so feel free to say whatever you want right now because ben you've cut it out every time right yeah okay so let's just talk open no one on the show

[01:26:45] no one who like listens would know this isn't like a callback this isn't no it's not a cream but it's just a real life situation um i'm sorry to hear about that financial trouble he decided

[01:26:55] to invest in popsicle sticks yeah that's uh that's a bit of a down industry right now he was sort of looking at like futures okay and he thought that was like the next big boom uh and so he

[01:27:07] has invested 15 million dollars in popsicle sticks i mean look i'm not going to tell your dad what's what but i am just i am gonna say if he's got some debt trouble he could uh look into light stream

[01:27:18] light stream yeah i mean you don't need to be an expert to know that consolidating debt into a low fixed rate is going to save you money no that sounds about right no i'm not

[01:27:25] an expert and that does sound correct an average interest rates on credit card debt is uh 17.cent apr and have you looked at your interest rate like you could be spending a lot of money

[01:27:34] just keeping afloat yeah i mean i am literally i'm spending so much money on sort of uh water wings inner tubes just trying to stay afloat all right well let me tell you about light streams

[01:27:44] credit card consolidation loan okay um it's a fixed interest rate as low as 5.49 percent apr with autopay uh it's backed by the rate beat program so light stream will beat any qualifying interest rate presented by any other lender yeah and you could save thousands of dollars

[01:28:01] in interest and there's no fees it basically just like looks at your credit card debt and tries to get it into a like a lower debt rate so they look at at that the same way that like bob

[01:28:12] barker looks at uh pets likes it fixed fixed rates then you want to weigh on this fixed fixed rates uh apply today and get an additional interest rate discount on top of light streams already low rates the only way for my listeners well i mean that's a little

[01:28:31] you're taking a lot of credit there our listeners come on ben please my apologies the only way for our listeners there we go much better credit to get this special interest rate discount is to go to

[01:28:44] lightstream.com slash blank that's lightstream.com slash blank l i g h t s t r e a m dot com slash blank well guys i gotta say look i appreciate how knowledgeable you are in this subject you're

[01:29:00] really helping a friend out in need it's a shame that our listeners won't get all this good advice too since we're gonna have to cut all this out no i i just but i just want to before

[01:29:07] we cut it all out like you know they got loans from between like five thousand to a hundred thousand dollars that's my exact rate i'm looking at i'm looking at that range of number

[01:29:15] whole things online it's really easy to do you can choose your funding date you can see interest rates before you apply great and it's a division of sun trust banks so it's one of the nation's largest and strongest financial institutions yeah i gotta just get my dad to

[01:29:28] stop buying popsicle sticks too all right i should mention though very quickly subject to credit approval okay rate includes point 50 percent auto pay discount okay available only when you select auto pay prior to loan funding okay terms and conditions apply and offers are

[01:29:48] subject to change without notice visit lightstream.com for important information about limits on lightstream loans same day funding and rate beat program i mean i don't know why you got so formal they were just having a casual conversation but i once again appreciate how they usually

[01:30:04] talk advice that is true that is how ben usually talks off mic and of course uh now ben uh edit point and you cut all of that out right what's up how do you feel about the sex scene

[01:30:19] no i i think i blocked it out i've lost out most of this movie yeah um because yeah this just gets so like all the different kind of plot lines or different story lines it gets

[01:30:30] so mixed up like the album right the brook stuff is just sprinkled in well it's like i guess he has a relationship with julie cavner and they're like together for a while but then he's but he is getting

[01:30:41] different but like they sort of skip over this whole thing where he's getting depressed about work too yeah movies aren't testing well enough but yeah his relationship with cavner is the test screening cut to they had sex cut to they have a very serious conversation about the future

[01:30:55] their relationship at a dinner you know what i mean like he's really depressed about like just he they've broken up and he's sad depressed about his career in general it's all out of order

[01:31:07] he's going through like a life crisis without any sort of introspection and she keeps on because she's got this honest curse like telling him exactly what's going on and then he kind of responds glibly and then says something very honest and mean to her right and she hates

[01:31:23] his honesty right she's like why don't you lie more instead of saying mean things to people now let me say some mean things to you right there's the scene at the dinner where he like goes to the place where

[01:31:34] he knows everyone goes and they have like the fucking balcony seat yeah and everyone's eagle eyed looking to see who walks through the door and there's kind of a funny bit where like every

[01:31:43] man abandons his date to run to schmooze and and then she like kind of breaks up with him in front of those other yeah she does break up with him there which makes more sense now that i've realized

[01:31:59] that i can't lie yes but it's still but i think like i don't know that dinner scene is really weird but then they're like that woman's amazing god i'd love to after like the key moment which is

[01:32:10] the test yeah yes yeah yeah okay yes it is okay and then got me sorry is that i can't remember this is before after but another thing i just want to read verbatim because it's such an insane yeah like

[01:32:25] up up yes and around the corner brooks exchange yeah when brooks calls her and says want to have a little sex or rather he says want to have a little sex and cavernor goes you know i've never hung up on

[01:32:39] anyone in my life because what if the next thing they said solved everything right but i feel i must end this conversation what that's but that's brooks shit i know but it's also like if you want to make a

[01:32:52] movie about a person who can't lie if your dreams of brooks and you go i got a great idea for a movie it's a liar liar let me beat him to the punch by three years you can't just make that a sub plot

[01:33:00] it's like a sub sub plot yeah he's also sort of like as good as it gets yeah right i guess he hones it with as good as it gets right but that's like and i it's sort of the germ of that i yeah

[01:33:11] that's just he's an asshole which is also a way to justify someone telling the truth all the time doesn't have to be a fucking chemical condition i mean and as good as it gets it's

[01:33:20] sort of a god i mean like he he's he's ocd yeah he has a disability like that's that's sort of what they i mean whatever you're gonna talk about right yeah problematic so null t goes in for his

[01:33:33] screen test and they leave uh the daughter with jolly richard's right and he's getting made up by rosia donnell i would say i think this scene is very well observed this is very accurate to

[01:33:47] what it feels like to be the actor in the middle of like you're getting ready for this really important moment in your career and they're just like oh my god did you hear about blotty

[01:33:54] boy like right because if you're like big time a list star they get kind of like quiet around you but if you're like a griffin newman level just get him in and out as quickly as possible right

[01:34:05] there's so much more concerned with their conversation right um and it's always gossip shit like that you always get the best shit from hair makeup people yes uh and rosie rosie's weirdly good casting for this she is which but she was kind of famous at this point

[01:34:18] right like this is like a cameo right sort of like flintstones is the next year she'd been in sleepless in seattle already yeah um so he goes in and does the test well jolly richardson

[01:34:31] comes in and goes here's my tip you're gonna be great what they need is sexy okay that's the thing they're looking for mr needs and i've like gotten notes like that when i'm going in for

[01:34:41] callbacks not never sexy because if they're looking for sexy they haven't even called me in in the first place right but they'll say things like hey you know so they're bringing you back in to

[01:34:50] me with the director this is the note we got the thing to work on is the vulnerability or the thing to work on is here's the one element right and to say sexy is like that's kind of a well perceived

[01:35:01] moment because that's one of those things that like they will say to you when you're an actor that gets so in your fucking head where you're like how do i be sexier right and then what does

[01:35:11] him in in the test screening review is that they brooks keeps basically saying like what do you fuck this guy right so this is like a this is a scene that plays really weirdly in 2018 as many

[01:35:21] as many in the rest of this movie do but like basically there's a scene and then the they go in there like would you fuck it would like and people like yeah i'd fuck her yeah i'd fuck her

[01:35:31] and they're like what about her who's in the test who was just supposed to be reading with him and they're like she's pretty good you'd fuck her right you'd fuck her and they go

[01:35:37] oh what about him and they're like not really not really not really and jolly richardson's like shouldn't it be about more than this no but also the albert brooks has a big thing about

[01:35:47] like it's yeah albert brooks has this big thing about it's like it's would you go to bed with him or wouldn't and you're like sort of like you should say that you fucked him but i think she doesn't

[01:35:56] want to because a look on professional yeah it's it's an awful scene no it's but i mean yeah i mean i don't mean she should have said that but that's what you're thinking like yeah and vicki

[01:36:04] luma says like maybe five years ago and it's like she doesn't want to embarrass herself by admitting it all of a sudden and it's not alive two years but it's it's not yeah well that's true so so then

[01:36:17] this is the end of his career right concurrently but that's it but that's the thing i just want to say there's like 40 minutes left of the movie but that's the end of mcnollteez he's trying anymore

[01:36:25] he stops trying to be an actor because the kid takes over the movie he gets a job at the end of the movie in the oliver stone thing but it's like an afterthought like oh right

[01:36:34] oliver stone is gonna make the movie now right yeah an afterthought because the kid gets cast in a sick cop and he's he's quote unquote the crippled doctor right what did they say the crippled some best part

[01:36:44] in the movie yeah the kid because the kid is walking around jolly richardson and it's such a star everyone is she she does something where she's like should i say it like this or like this and then

[01:36:55] and um somebody sees her and is like put her in like got it so then she gets a role kid sick she doesn't have to she just like tests she gets it she gets the offer that's the offer right

[01:37:07] and then the movie is like 30 to 40 minutes of him coaching her on how to act yeah because she's worried about whether or not she can cry but she's awful like this is where she takes over the

[01:37:15] movie she's awful this is why i'm saying she's bad yeah it's like it's unclear whether you can't stand her no you cannot it's unclear whether he believes like it's sort of supposed to be the turn where it's like this makes her a better person ultimately like ultimately it's

[01:37:31] like being cast in the show makes her a better daughter and then i guess so which that's a weird lesson to learn right exactly no that's what i mean it's like it's so it helps her connect with her

[01:37:41] dad it helps her connect with her dad which is like okay like literally putting the child to work helps also it's like he has the correct response when she's cast which is like kid actors are

[01:37:51] terrible you don't want to do this no good don't do and then he just supports her in doing it anyway even though she's not really prepared for it she's not really good at it she's like do i have to learn

[01:37:59] to read too she's stressed out by it but she does that song about how she's gonna make so much money and she wants all the money and she's like fucking waving it in her dad's face and then

[01:38:09] there's this weird scene where jolly richardson invites him this is this is the bad scene to her place to have sex but they take their own cars yeah but they're talking over the car phones while driving around the canyons right yeah it's very dangerous and um she confesses

[01:38:27] her her test screening mistake well he's in the car behind her that she folded on him right and he so he turns around and he's over like very at the beginning goes like look i'm totally fine with

[01:38:38] the test thing that's in the past i'm happy with my life because look i should admit to you i kind of folded on you at the end she doesn't do it in like a horrible way she's like you

[01:38:46] know i i've talked to you about my problems with this like like you know they asked me if you were sexy and i said you weren't and he loses his mind um he just like yeah collapses but then the truly

[01:38:59] the truly horrible scene is their later confrontation right the thing where it's like she has shifted in this movie from like kind of happy go lucky romantic lead to like a monster like a terrible

[01:39:10] poison person like so okay so what happens all off screen they're shooting the pilot yes they're shooting the pilot um it's she's back as they do on multi-camera sick jobs and they are

[01:39:21] inviting the kids out to take a bow and the kids like my bow is great you're gonna love my bow right he has to see her we're not being sarcastic they do actually do this and it's really weird

[01:39:30] yeah yeah that's especially for pilots they make people applaud actors they haven't seen yet right right the idea of this scene is she's coming in ulti with the new the olive or stone

[01:39:40] yeah and this is like she does have good news for him but this is like the oh i can't miss my daughter's ballet recital moment it just comes on us for no reason out of nowhere she's like all

[01:39:50] of her son is making this movie and like he wants you in it he's like fine i don't care i don't care blah blah and and basically it's suddenly like she is a manipulative bitch that only cares about

[01:40:00] her work and can't understand where she's been like taking care of the child basically right do not realize what a big opportunity this is and because look i promised her i wouldn't miss a

[01:40:09] moment and she goes my dad missed everything and look at me i'm fine it's like as of this scene apparently you're not suddenly you're not yep and then and then he misses the bow he misses the bow

[01:40:21] and he flips out flips out but then he is there for the big scene but then julie cavner walks in and does like basically to to join you're not you're horrible yeah you're not good enough

[01:40:29] for him you're a bitch basically right which makes she says right right she seems like what's wrong and she's like it's fine it's fine he's just way better than you like you're not gonna for okay so

[01:40:41] like it's part of her truth telling disease the most insane scene her words are brooks's words you know what i mean like anytime julie cavner speaks the voice right exactly uh is james

[01:40:51] al brooks implying that his brain is only the result of a bad prescription i don't know i'm just saying like the craziest scene yes in the history of cinema this is this is what we needed to

[01:41:04] talk about plot of the sitcom this is the end of the movie yeah and ben i know we need to wrap up don't worry we'll only talk about the scene for two hours the plot of the sitcom is mixed race

[01:41:13] foster parents lot of kids handful like 20 it's called like rainbow kids rainbow house yes right yes i think you're right uh black mother white father there's that aside where the black actress

[01:41:26] is like you want me to do a jackay like sort of like you know is basically making fun of them for asking her to ham it up they're like yeah but no but yeah right it's like so uncomfortable and they

[01:41:37] keep on the sitcom looks so broad and so hammy they keep on talking about this crying scene she has to do and you're like where would a crying scene fit into the pilot of this show this is the thing

[01:41:46] the scene they shoot i have no idea what it is right in this in this sitcom what is it especially multi-camera sitcoms try to avoid emotional scenes as much as possible they would do one very

[01:41:56] special episode every other season maybe maybe in the pilot though but yeah it's sort of like a faxalite type uh i don't know right so they're like grilling her on why she's been acting out so much

[01:42:09] and she's rocking back and forth on this like there's like a long teeter total too much pause you think she's forgotten the line looks like to me a box scene yes but then she says the line right

[01:42:20] and she's saying the other kids make fun of me because i'm i'm not black i guess so yeah no she says a worse word than oh oh yes not the worst word but colored okay there you go right um and

[01:42:33] everyone in the audience is like but they're not shocked because of the word they're like oh yeah she doesn't get it right i don't know and then the white guy says something like the white guy

[01:42:45] says like you don't say collard you say black and the black lady says you don't say black you say african-american and the whole audience laughs gales of laughter and like we see that the

[01:42:54] audience is mostly black and i don't know what's going on in this scene and it's all out of nowhere pause because she's supposed to cry now right she's supposed to cry now when she has a long pause

[01:43:04] and everyone says african-american can you use it in a sentence oh i forget yeah that's the set up that's the setup for her great line the term is african-american can you use in a sense

[01:43:14] you go what what fucking sitcom is this it holds on her for like two minutes what's the sentence the sentence is tears in her eyes yes her beloved father's gotten it out of her she says

[01:43:27] i love an african-american so weird and and the whole audience goes like oh and her black foster mother in return gives her a big hug oh what did she say i love a redneck girl yeah and no and

[01:43:39] she's supposed to run and hug the foster mother yeah but instead she runs and hugs nick nulty which is weird too which is weird too and then she says to him i was thinking of you no i know i

[01:43:50] was thinking if they take if they take you away from me so here's why suddenly they like each other she still sucks yep he's figured it out like a little bit but she sucks here's why this scene

[01:44:01] is insane and she's only gonna get worse she's on the actual just like yeah acts of it they could have made the scene in the sitcom literally anything because the whole point is

[01:44:13] for her to see she just needs to cry and hug her dad she has to make herself cry whether or not the thing makes her sad except and i think so it could be a fake but i think brooks has a being as bonnet

[01:44:22] about these kinds of patronizing sitcoms like he's trying to do satire it's just terrible right exactly he's trying to make a point but it's weird yeah but it's weird that that like out of

[01:44:32] context i just saw what's in the box office oh my god okay sorry let go go on please yeah they don't make the it doesn't make the context doesn't work like yes and it doesn't make sense it could

[01:44:44] be something about a dad it could be something it's just it's it's flabbergasted it's it's insane because yes it could have been literally anything you even didn't need to show the preamble you could just

[01:44:54] have nick naltico oh my god this is the moment and then the camera zooms in on her yeah um it's that we have this whole thing it's insane and it seems like he's trying to do satire of

[01:45:03] something but it's not working i love an african-american so that's in the movie well then then they have this like party afterwards and he has the conversation with albert brooks where he

[01:45:11] tells him look stone said you can have any part you want and he goes i love one of the leads right and he's like now he wants you for the crippled doctor best part in the movie well before that

[01:45:20] he laughs more than anyone has ever laughed at any joke uh-huh he gives nick nalti the Irving Thalberg award for comedy points right and then goes you have the crippled doctor

[01:45:29] goes best part in the in the picture and then he walks away and that's the end of the fucking movie any and he'll do anything he's like i'll he she shows him her bow right right and then at the end

[01:45:39] of the movie over the end credits they do a full grand orchestra version of you are the best you are the best so you know what sucks this should have been the weird aberration misstep

[01:45:54] in his career that he then like totally recovered from which he does in the next movie not as strongly as his first two films but like certainly in terms of court of public opinion he gets back

[01:46:04] on track in terms of how it's aged since then mezzo mezzo and then he just goes even further a field like it's insane how much he fully lost it the plot you know yeah the threat well i mean

[01:46:18] you know what's weird about this too is that he like he has an excuse for missing the plot in this movie because of the attempt to take a big swim because he's attempt to make a musical

[01:46:26] but then and then it right yeah and then the recovery why does how do you know also feel like a musical that had the songs cut out of it you know like sure they all have this it's missing

[01:46:35] something air to them and they're all caught up in really unsympathetic lives right i want to apologize because i clicked yes chevron because i clicked on the box office and box office directors meet the wrong week and blank check was in the top and i was really excited

[01:46:51] weirdly often will link you to the second week when you click on the first one but this movie actually came out the week before blank check okay that's all that would have been great

[01:46:59] it came out february 4 how would you have clued me i have no idea okay i was trying to figure out it came out february 4 1994 my mother's birthday that's the day my mother was born

[01:47:09] box literally um but also that february 4 come on like no hope for this movie right like this this studio the studio excuse me would you say that to my mother she was top of the box

[01:47:25] office number one i love my number one at the box office yeah is a comedy yeah that launched a movie star uh i was there opening weekend is it a carry because this was his big year so it's

[01:47:39] ace ventura ace ventura pet detective yeah 12.1 million dollar opening weekend basically makes its budget back immediately the craziest year any movie star has ever had because uh the mask and dumb and dumber at all that year right weird and it was like he got paid like 250 000 for ventura

[01:47:58] he got paid like two million for the mask and then dumb and dumber didn't start production until after ventura came out and he got paid like 12 million like he became an a-list movie

[01:48:08] star over the course of a year number two at the box office stars another comedy star might be their biggest movie ever interesting so this is kind of their right peak it's their peak right

[01:48:21] ben yeah certainly their peak is like a family comedy star is it like he'd been around for a while but this is like super quotable it's super quotable for you interesting for you what's

[01:48:35] like a quote you like from this yeah give me one quote you like from this movie let's use that as a hint oh give it away yeah but it would be funny to hear you quote the movie uh

[01:48:46] i can only think of one okay then say and but it's totally gonna give it away does it star a former s and l how did he not get it from that griffin's eyes flash with panic is it a former s and l

[01:49:02] star no is it mrs. dalfire correct okay you said quoteable and i was like the only court i can think of his whole yeah oh boy what if we'd said quote something from the movie and ben had just

[01:49:22] sung dude looks like a lady like what's another quote of that movie one of the biggest most of all time at the time it's release it was like number eight period huge in history yeah okay number three

[01:49:42] is a very serious oscar drama there's a lot of like oscar left over sure it was an oscar winner in the in an acting category in 1993 the previous year i guess it hasn't won its oscar yet 93 which

[01:49:54] category did win best actor one best actor you know ester who won best actor in 1993 93 really bad at like remembering years remembering years hmm did it only win best actor i believe it also won best

[01:50:11] song i think i'm right about that but it was not musical no what is was it i'm correct about was it a susie call no no was it philadelphia yes oh yeah streets of philadelphia um i was about to

[01:50:28] launch into streets of philadelphia and i realized we don't have the time for that number four is a comedy starring kathryn hygel now without my father or my father the hero there you go

[01:50:41] i just thought that it's interesting yeah that's a 1994 comedy star yep and jar jepard you of course yeah i will have a bad run in the 90s of being paired up in two handers with mega creeps

[01:50:55] and then number five is i'll do anything yeah not a good open um and uh you got chinlose list you got grumpy old men whoo lemon and math out a barn burner and our and margaret right

[01:51:09] and that's one that grew because i think that was one where like didn't open huge and then just kept on fucking truck it's doing okay it's made 54 in seven weeks gets up to 100 i think no no 70 okay 70 pretty

[01:51:21] good got pelican brief you got some movies i've never heard of uh well i'll say this movie made me uh hate the industry i'm in even more sure i felt weirdly disgusted while watching it especially

[01:51:33] when it gets to the child actor yeah the child actor stuff is really i mean there are many upsetting things in this movie but that's also a weirdly upsetting way to end it that it's like

[01:51:41] this kid's gonna be okay because she's in a sitcom i don't understand it feels like the end of show girls it's like this is gonna be bad it's like he got money from his kid like that's why he's gonna

[01:51:51] be secure now he's gonna be living off his kid and she's already fucked up like this isn't gonna help but you know i think we're gonna learn to read we're wrapping up we're done we're done

[01:52:00] but i do think that's brooks's thing where he's like yeah it's a it's a cynical industry right like he's trying to do like a happy sad it's a cynical world of fear it doesn't

[01:52:08] but he the cynical element of it doesn't register it no it doesn't no you can do anything you're the sign out i am once interviewed james elbrecht for the edge of 17 right yeah was he nice

[01:52:19] he was really nice he seems like such a nice guy yeah he was a nice guy was he's still like with it yeah he was pretty old yeah he's pretty old but he was still with it it was like yeah it was

[01:52:26] a toronto last year for edge of 17 such a good man yeah i didn't like he didn't say anything that was like relevant to this podcast so i didn't know how to sneak at him but yeah he was

[01:52:34] he was very nice he actually i sort of fucked it up because he gave me like something that like they were doing this vr thing with the simpsons that like hadn't been announced

[01:52:42] yet and i was like oh cool can i break that and oh i don't know if i should say this on the end say it say it say we can cut out later no i can't like i i don't think i can but i'll

[01:52:52] tell you it off air it's really funny though great so have fun listeners not ever hearing that story david and i are gonna brag on twitter it goes on the pie with the brand new frasier

[01:53:00] story yep well never tell it on mine um i the shorts version of it it was like he was gonna call me to ask me a questions about something okay but he never did sure i'm gonna say something

[01:53:09] crazy right now i know something so fucking juicy that is so relevant to this podcast that i've not even told anyone that i know and several months from now you're gonna lose your

[01:53:21] mind that i was sitting on this tell me no i cannot tell you we can't tell y'all are horrifying or like it's good okay it's good oh it's a good thing it's a good thing i cannot

[01:53:31] why can't you tell me 100% sworn to secrecy i was told by someone who is like i've told two people in the world all right fine fine whatever you're gonna lose your mind when you know that i knew

[01:53:42] this all right all right that's definitely it and always and as always i would rate review and subscribe i'll probably be able to reveal it a couple weeks after this episode comes out

[01:53:50] okay fine uh rate review subscribe ester thank you so much for being on the show easy writes on twitter um you're the best ester thank you so much for being on the show thanks for putting up

[01:54:00] with me when i you can do anything thanks for putting up with me uh and we make a really good uh joke about you uh two episodes from now so tune in oh my god do we yeah we still

[01:54:12] remind you what it is off like i just don't want to sell out okay that's fine that's right that's right that's right blankies dot red dot com thanks to and for good for social media

[01:54:21] joe bow and pat reil's for artwork laymonk army for our theme song and thank you to our sponsors uh dollar shave club beach body and light stream and as always folks this is griffin from the future

[01:54:38] oh my god interrupting the episode with a breaking announcement at the time we record this episode we thought the musical version of i'll do anything was unwatchable and we found out it was but we

[01:54:51] know it now from experience because folks thanks to blankie jake mckay we have gotten our hands on a copy of it so coming this thursday that's right a bubba bonus episode we're bringing back ester

[01:55:03] zuckerman yep and we're discussing the musical version of i'll do anything the first movie since the force awakens to get two episodes that is sadly true i have a question future griffin

[01:55:15] yeah uh how does the episode go for me am i i don't like nothing weird comes up i don't like kill myself right no you do you you're very miserable yeah i don't uh yeah there's a lot going on in

[01:55:27] that app yeah we were put it this way we were gonna record for 10 minutes and i think we went for an hour yeah yeah you're not happy okay well that makes sense yeah it sounds really plausible right

[01:55:36] yo for sure okay cool i mean i'm like pretty much up to like my wits ends yeah yeah you've had it up to here imagine how you feel four months later i'm coming from oh yeah i can see it now

[01:55:46] yeah sure uh so folks stay tuned check that feed i'll do anything the musical edition above a bonus episode