Rollerball with Zach Cherry

[00:00:00] You see, Yadveni over there, so full of himself now.

[00:00:25] He used to work in the post office. I introduced him to the proper financing and now he owns the mines.

[00:00:31] Yes, making a fortune, keeps the miners in line, good business. You might wonder why I'm not in it myself.

[00:00:37] I don't need to own the mines, Jonathan. Do you know why? Because I own the man who owns the mines.

[00:00:44] All he has I have. Same with the supermarkets, the TV station, locomotive plant.

[00:00:49] I don't need a podcast because I own the men who do.

[00:00:54] I don't remember that happening either. Now here's why I chose that.

[00:00:59] I watched the movie maybe 16 hours ago and I don't really know Doc for that long.

[00:01:05] I don't remember that. That's the longest one. I just want to quickly read through the other quotes on the page because there are not many.

[00:01:09] I was excited to do a Chris Klein impression. There are no Chris Klein quotes on this page.

[00:01:13] He's too quotable.

[00:01:15] The first quote is attributed to Chinese sports announcer.

[00:01:19] And the line is it's simple about as simple as using a name brand condom.

[00:01:23] Do you not remember that line? I do remember that one.

[00:01:26] Next quote, English sports announcer and the other rules.

[00:01:29] Well, the other rules are Russian and complicated. Paul Heyman.

[00:01:32] Great Paul Heyman. There's the long John Renau monologue I just did.

[00:01:37] Yeah. Then the next quote is English sports announcer roller ball.

[00:01:41] Well, that's that I remember in the movie them yelling that.

[00:01:46] And then there's an exchange between John Renau and LL Cool J that is really my man.

[00:01:52] How are you? And then LL Cool J says I feel like Freddy Krueger.

[00:01:56] Don't remember. I don't remember that either.

[00:01:58] And did he get remember it? But I didn't understand it.

[00:02:01] Or did he get, you know, was he subjected to mob justice? Well, as the great Freddy Krueger was.

[00:02:07] I'm sorry. Freddy Krueger, victim of the woke mind.

[00:02:12] The radical left. These public school parents think they can just be judged during execution just because he killed their children.

[00:02:22] They think they can throw him in a furnace.

[00:02:25] There should be like a wicked style reimagining of the Freddy Krueger.

[00:02:28] Freddy was not so bad actually.

[00:02:30] I feel like that was the take they tried to have on the Dracula or Haley movie that was were they wrong?

[00:02:36] There was definitely that movie tried to do the thing of which the original movie has of like, are they being punished for killing him outside of the law?

[00:02:44] Right. Right. I always love those movies.

[00:02:46] They were like he killed 15 kids, but someone forgot to fucking file a piece of paper.

[00:02:51] So he just walked free. He walked free.

[00:02:53] The only other quote on the page is John Renau's long.

[00:02:56] Let's let's just rant. I'm not going to read it.

[00:02:59] The rant about being on Channel 109, which I do remember quality.

[00:03:04] That's a little fun. I will kill you myself.

[00:03:06] I will disappear your whole family.

[00:03:08] Look, he's doing something.

[00:03:10] He is. Now, I don't know if you found this not to jump ahead, but in the dossier that JJ put together, there is a quote from John McTiernan promoting this movie who said, I think he's the best villain I've ever had in one of my movies.

[00:03:22] Director of Die Hard and Predator.

[00:03:25] And Basic.

[00:03:29] You know, yeah, like Medicine Man is a better villain than this movie.

[00:03:33] Yeah. Well, the disease cancer cancer, the ultimate villain.

[00:03:36] I mean, who's third best villain is Sean Connery and hunt for red October.

[00:03:40] Even if he thinks John Renau is beating Hans Gruber Predator, the Predator.

[00:03:46] Call Connery and nod it. Connery sort of a hero.

[00:03:49] You still got Jeremy Irons or whatever. Right.

[00:03:52] Yeah, exactly. Like you saw like very good B tier villains.

[00:03:56] I would even say last action hero has two good villains in it.

[00:03:59] That's not a problem of that movie. Both Ripper and fucking Charles Dance are great.

[00:04:04] If John Renau went up against the Predator, he would win.

[00:04:08] He has the resources he control owns the guy who is a human.

[00:04:13] He would have no problem taking down the Predator.

[00:04:16] No, you're right. Well, I think it's like John Renau is really easy to defeat.

[00:04:20] Just don't move to Central Asia and sign a deal with him.

[00:04:24] Then he really can't mess with the problem.

[00:04:27] The one way he'll get you is he lures you to roller ball. Right.

[00:04:31] It's fucking gas reverse vampire rules.

[00:04:34] John Renau has to is allowed to murder you as long as you accept his invitation to come to Kazakhstan.

[00:04:42] This is another thing about this movie. So this film is obviously shot in 2000, supposed to be released in 2001 comes out.

[00:04:48] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get into all this.

[00:04:50] But John McTiernan says I need the film to take place in a country that no one's ever heard of.

[00:04:55] So I picked Kazakhstan, a country that only four years later will be forever tied in comedy to one character.

[00:05:04] Like a country that now most people think is fake but associate exclusively with.

[00:05:10] So you can't watch this movie and not think like very nice over and over and over again every time Kazakhstan comes up.

[00:05:19] They mostly say Central Asia. They try not to say Kazakhstan.

[00:05:23] I didn't even clock that. They show you a map.

[00:05:26] And most of the characters don't even have wives.

[00:05:28] Oh, I have a big chick. King in the castle. John Renau says that at one point.

[00:05:31] My solitary social life.

[00:05:33] Griffin, what's this podcast?

[00:05:35] This is Blank Check with Griffin and David. I'm Griffin.

[00:05:37] I'm David.

[00:05:39] It's a podcast about filmography.

[00:05:41] What is happening?

[00:05:42] The most dangerous sport in the world.

[00:05:44] Podcasting about filmography.

[00:05:46] I see.

[00:05:47] Directors who have massive success early on in their careers and are given a series of blank checks to make whatever crazy passion project.

[00:05:52] They want. Sometimes those checks clear and sometimes they go to the roller ball, baby.

[00:05:58] Absolutely. This miniseries is called.

[00:06:01] It's called hard with a Vengecast.

[00:06:05] That's right.

[00:06:06] And it's discussing the films of John McTernan.

[00:06:08] Now look, the milk has been left out and has spoiled at this point.

[00:06:13] We've talked about some bounces in our day.

[00:06:15] This is the only film that bounced someone straight to federal prison.

[00:06:18] And I want to say right up front, obviously a big discussion point with this movie.

[00:06:22] It's a real reason we wanted to do McTernan for so long is it's arguably one of the greatest falls from grace.

[00:06:28] Even even if not for incarceration, the drop off on the career is so severe.

[00:06:33] But I will say having never seen this movie before last night and knowing that this film eventually leads to him serving time, I don't think it was worth it.

[00:06:43] You don't think so?

[00:06:44] This is my stance.

[00:06:45] I think if you're going to go to jail for a movie, which I wouldn't recommend, I would not recommend.

[00:06:50] This is not the movie that is worth.

[00:06:52] But the question is, is this the version that he was fighting for?

[00:06:55] Well, we can dig into it.

[00:06:58] We need to dig into.

[00:06:59] No, I mean, no, no, no one was fighting for this.

[00:07:02] I think he ends up in jail indirectly because of him being so terrified by how this movie turned out.

[00:07:08] Right. I mean, the whole backbone of the story is he's so convinced that there was a conspiracy to ruin this movie that leads to him being behind bars.

[00:07:18] I don't think there's any version of this movie that is worth staking your freedom on.

[00:07:23] This movie is kneecapped from the beginning.

[00:07:25] Yes.

[00:07:26] From the time you cast its leads.

[00:07:28] No offense to them.

[00:07:29] This is what's crazy.

[00:07:30] They absolutely fucked with his movie.

[00:07:32] But also in the quotes that JJ has pulled up, the four worst decisions in this movie were all seemingly made by John McTarran of his own volition.

[00:07:40] And he explains why.

[00:07:41] And you're like, that is the worst idea.

[00:07:43] We're going to talk about it.

[00:07:44] We're going to talk about it.

[00:07:45] It's also never worth going to jail.

[00:07:47] This is my major take.

[00:07:49] I want to say this is an overriding take.

[00:07:51] First of all, let's abolish all prisons.

[00:07:53] OK, can we just introduce our guest?

[00:07:57] Second, abolish rollerball.

[00:07:59] Now, bring rollerball back.

[00:08:01] Actually, I'm interested in seeing it.

[00:08:03] I think there's a rollerball.

[00:08:05] I'm supposed to think rollerball is the hero of this film.

[00:08:07] Rollerball is problematic.

[00:08:09] And this movie is presenting it to me like it's a good, moral, decent sport.

[00:08:13] I think rollerball is empowering.

[00:08:15] OK, I like this take.

[00:08:17] We'll talk about it.

[00:08:18] There's a version of rollerball I'm ready to root for.

[00:08:20] I'm not sure it's this version of rollerball though.

[00:08:22] The sport or the movie?

[00:08:24] The sport.

[00:08:25] Well, this movie I'm not rooting for.

[00:08:27] Our guest today.

[00:08:28] Return to the show.

[00:08:30] I'm going to say it.

[00:08:32] I think one of our finest working character actors.

[00:08:35] I think you have in the last couple of years elevated to being like one of the ultimate.

[00:08:42] People are thrilled whenever you show up in anything.

[00:08:45] I agree.

[00:08:47] Hey, I'll take it.

[00:08:49] You should take it all the way to the bank.

[00:08:51] In your recent character work on Hollywood Handbook.

[00:08:53] Well, this is the main credit.

[00:08:55] I mean, sexy mummy.

[00:08:57] Outstanding performance.

[00:08:59] Yeah, yeah.

[00:09:00] Certainly my most well-liked work.

[00:09:02] This is the second I was going to say.

[00:09:04] I feel like you've...

[00:09:05] People stop you in the street.

[00:09:07] Hey, are you sexy mummy?

[00:09:09] I feel like you've elevated to like the top tier of podcast guests.

[00:09:12] I feel like you're one of the guys who's like a Paul F. Tompkins high tide guest.

[00:09:17] Well, I'll say it again.

[00:09:19] That stops today.

[00:09:21] You're going to grind this show to a halt?

[00:09:23] Oh, big time.

[00:09:24] I have heard from so many people over the last year specifically calling out how much they love the Yesterday episode.

[00:09:32] It is like seemingly the most well-liked episode we've had in a while.

[00:09:36] And I messaged you and said, like, overdue to have you on again.

[00:09:40] Here's the exact text exchange.

[00:09:43] I said, we got to have you on again if you want to do a McTiernan.

[00:09:47] Cannot tell you how many people...

[00:09:49] How often people spotlight the Yesterday episode as their favorite.

[00:09:52] And your response is, I do think I had roller ball on DVD possibly.

[00:09:56] Yeah.

[00:09:57] Yeah.

[00:09:58] I'm now confident I did.

[00:10:00] You did.

[00:10:01] But like, did you get it because someone put out a cardboard box of garbage and it was in there?

[00:10:06] So here's my history returning to the show with Rollerball High.

[00:10:13] And when you mentioned McTiernan, I was like, well, I don't want to do Die Hard.

[00:10:17] That's such a perfect movie.

[00:10:21] I love almost all of McTiernan's movies.

[00:10:23] And I love his movies and I do remember, I don't remember if it was probably DVD because we were kind of post VHS for the most part at this point.

[00:10:32] This is a peak DVD movie.

[00:10:34] So I'll be honest, it was in that era of my life where I was fooled by the marketing of this is the unrated version of a film.

[00:10:42] Zach, that is important with this movie.

[00:10:45] I was probably a freshman in high school.

[00:10:48] So I was like, hey, you know, I hadn't seen the movie, but any chance to get more violence or more nudity, I was like, I got to at least check it out.

[00:10:58] And it probably took me $150 worth of my money to realize that it's always basically the same movie and there's maybe 30 seconds more of footage.

[00:11:08] But in most cases, yes.

[00:11:10] Yeah, that's actually a good question.

[00:11:12] Where are the real unrated editions where it was a thing versus like the later gimmick of like throwing one random scene?

[00:11:20] The big thing they started doing was R-rated, already raunchy comedies being released on DVD with the unrated and out of control, which very quickly it became clear.

[00:11:31] These are not scenes that were cut for extremity of content.

[00:11:34] This is they shot a couple extra scenes specifically for the DVD.

[00:11:39] It became such a part of the business model where someone like, you know, comes on a muffin or whatever.

[00:11:44] Right. And they're like, Van Wilder is out of control.

[00:11:47] It would feel like they've literally forced scenes into the development process only for the DVD later.

[00:11:52] And oftentimes they wouldn't actually.

[00:11:54] This is another trick they would do.

[00:11:56] You'd be like these added scenes aren't dirtier than what made the R-rated cut.

[00:12:00] They went, yeah, but we didn't resubmit the new cut to the MPAA.

[00:12:03] It is not rated.

[00:12:04] Right. That was always their argument.

[00:12:06] The only difference in this cut is a couple of takes of the same dialogue.

[00:12:09] Yeah, but we didn't send it to get rated.

[00:12:11] It is unrated and out of control.

[00:12:13] Rollerball is a movie though where this is like one of the things that McTiernan fought over is like this is designed as a hard R.

[00:12:20] We'll dig into all of this.

[00:12:21] It's sort of neutered upon release.

[00:12:23] And then there's this last minute, like way too late attempt to salvage it by being like, we're putting the extreme shit back on the DVD.

[00:12:30] That having been said, I dug deep onto the Internet last night.

[00:12:34] I was going through a lot of corners and there was a detailed testimony I read from someone who went to one of the early R-rated test screenings.

[00:12:41] And he was like what I saw was much more extreme than what is ultimately on the R-rated DVD.

[00:12:47] Yeah, at the end of the day, they just put in some boobs and a couple like bloody hits.

[00:12:53] Yeah, that's it.

[00:12:54] Right.

[00:12:55] But less boobs than there were originally possibly.

[00:12:58] So I don't know what version I even watched yesterday.

[00:13:02] I watched it on Tubi.

[00:13:04] OK, so is that the unrated version or is that the theatrical version?

[00:13:07] I watched it on iTunes.

[00:13:08] What seems to be on iTunes as the only option is now what was on the unrated DVD.

[00:13:14] I believe you probably also saw the unrated.

[00:13:16] The big way to tell...

[00:13:17] That's mostly what's around these days.

[00:13:19] The locker room scene.

[00:13:20] Yes.

[00:13:21] If you see boobs, it's the R-rated version.

[00:13:23] And when it was released in theaters, they CGI tank tops onto them.

[00:13:26] Oh my God.

[00:13:27] It is one of those movies where they like painted black tank tops.

[00:13:30] It's an ice white shot situation.

[00:13:32] Yes.

[00:13:33] So that's the one clear tell of which version you're watching.

[00:13:35] I think the theatrical version basically is no longer in circulation.

[00:13:38] I do like who would want it?

[00:13:41] I'm going to be honest, I would love to see it.

[00:13:44] Well, I'm sure you could find it somewhere at the very least.

[00:13:48] You could buy a DVD.

[00:13:49] My rental is I have another 47 hours on the...

[00:13:52] It also was skipping kind of in moments.

[00:13:55] Like this is poorly edited, right?

[00:13:58] What are you talking about?

[00:14:00] What do you mean?

[00:14:01] Okay, sorry.

[00:14:02] There were no technical meddling.

[00:14:04] This is wet off of McTherian's own editing table.

[00:14:09] It's a pure cut.

[00:14:10] A consistent vision.

[00:14:12] I try to...

[00:14:13] Look, I don't want to fall into hyperbole with every movie covered on the show.

[00:14:19] This might be the most incoherent film we've ever discussed.

[00:14:22] I don't know if it's the worst.

[00:14:24] Look, I'll say it's not incoherent in that like it follows the formula of films that are coherent.

[00:14:32] Guy takes job, is sports, turns out to be bad and rigged, rebels.

[00:14:40] Yes.

[00:14:41] Okay?

[00:14:42] Like that happens in the film.

[00:14:43] Agreed.

[00:14:44] Right?

[00:14:45] That is the plot of the film.

[00:14:46] But the only way you understand that that's what's happening in the film is...

[00:14:49] Is by having seen other films.

[00:14:50] And you're relating and you're like, I guess this must be them attempting to do that kind of scene.

[00:14:55] It only works by association of more functional movies.

[00:14:58] Have you seen the original Rollerball with James Bond?

[00:15:00] No, I haven't.

[00:15:01] So in that film, which I have seen, which is in my opinion not a masterpiece, but is both the functional film and a fairly influential one in its way.

[00:15:08] And is on paper the exact perfect kind of movie to remake 30 years later, 25 years later where you're like, this is a movie with incredible concept, some incredible iconography.

[00:15:19] It doesn't totally nail the execution.

[00:15:21] But in the original movie, the sport of Rollerball makes sense.

[00:15:26] It is. And by the way, those sequences are thrilling to watch.

[00:15:29] They're really cool. It's way simpler. There's no like ramp and tunnel.

[00:15:33] No.

[00:15:34] There's no none of that like business. It's just like a bicycle track. It's just a ring.

[00:15:38] A lot of simple master shots where you can...

[00:15:40] It's basically Roller Derby with motorcycles.

[00:15:43] The game is legible. It's Roller Derby with motorcycles and like bocce ball.

[00:15:47] Throw a ball at a thing. I mean, like in Roller Derby, there's no ball. But like it's the same basic concept.

[00:15:52] You're just trying to knock people over.

[00:15:53] It's like jousting a roller. It's a combination of all stuff.

[00:15:55] But you're like, I get it. You watch it immediately.

[00:15:58] This movie has a sequence in which Paul Heyman is explaining the rules to you in detail accompanied by a CGI graphics meaning to illustrate the rules of the game.

[00:16:08] And it doesn't make sense as they're taking the time to stop and show it.

[00:16:11] I want to say, go ahead.

[00:16:12] Please.

[00:16:13] I really liked that part.

[00:16:16] I think it's maybe the best scene in the movie.

[00:16:18] I don't say that.

[00:16:20] As I was watching, I was taking notes and I was marking time codes as to when I thought this was still an incredible brilliant movie.

[00:16:30] I got to about 38 minutes in before it started to show cracks for me.

[00:16:35] A couple hairline fractures.

[00:16:37] Yeah. But the quote we talked about where he says the rest of the rules are in Russian and they're complicated.

[00:16:43] We're not going to get into it.

[00:16:44] That's all I needed to hear because then I need then I know I don't need to worry about what the rules are.

[00:16:49] I think they may have made a mistake in even trying to give us any rules.

[00:16:53] I agree. Because what he does, he's like, all right, here are the rules.

[00:16:55] Then he says 80 rules and then he's like the rest of the rules.

[00:16:58] I'm like, how can there be more rules?

[00:17:00] I believe he also does double back.

[00:17:02] He's like, OK, you got to do two laps.

[00:17:04] And then he's like, but first, he does do that.

[00:17:07] He's like, but first you got to go through the tunnel.

[00:17:09] Why are these rules out of order?

[00:17:12] Which I see the tunnel have been one time, I think in the entire film.

[00:17:16] They do it right away and then they never talk about the tunnel again.

[00:17:19] And he makes it sound like and it is hard to get to the tunnel.

[00:17:22] Chris Kline goes into that tunnel. He walks into that tunnel.

[00:17:24] Like it's the easiest shit in the world.

[00:17:26] That makes it feel to me like this is a real sport and that someone was like, those are the rules.

[00:17:30] We have to include the tunnel because all the fans of real rollerball will be upset if our movie doesn't make it.

[00:17:37] The legacy fans are like, where's the...there's no tunnel in the original.

[00:17:40] I feel like this is the point you were trying to make.

[00:17:42] The cold open of the original rollerball film is just a game happening that you watch for basically 15 minutes uninterrupted where they do not stop to explain the rules to you.

[00:17:51] And you're like, I think I get this.

[00:17:53] It is all just communicated through action.

[00:17:55] Right.

[00:17:56] And you're like, I think I get this.

[00:17:57] And also, this is really exciting to watch.

[00:17:59] And this movie does not drop you dead into the middle of it.

[00:18:02] It tries to ease you into it and is infinitely more confusing.

[00:18:06] I love being explained the rules of something fiction.

[00:18:10] David loves rules.

[00:18:11] I love fictional sports.

[00:18:14] When I get like an NBA 2K game, like one of those games, I don't play basketball on it.

[00:18:20] I mean, we go to like create league and then I'm like, all right, we're moving the Rockets to fucking Omaha.

[00:18:25] Like I just start messing with it as much as I can.

[00:18:27] The new tutorial just arrived in the mail.

[00:18:30] Tutorial? I mean, that's what I call NBA.

[00:18:33] Right.

[00:18:34] Like I am all in if this guy is like, okay, this is the Uzbekistan rough riders.

[00:18:39] You know, they have a clown, a devil, a chain guy.

[00:18:42] I'm like, yes, that's what I want.

[00:18:44] Instead.

[00:18:45] It's just like he starts explaining things 50 times and cuts himself off in the middle being like, I don't know, man, don't worry about it.

[00:18:51] Okay.

[00:18:52] Like it's they don't even have the guts to really tell us how real their audience and their audience is not you.

[00:18:59] They're like dum dums who are like have an attention span that will last 15 seconds.

[00:19:04] You need to see it as they do have the guts to not explain it.

[00:19:07] Sure.

[00:19:08] It's like it's a smart thing.

[00:19:09] If you ask me, this movie is a direct spiritual precursor to Fury Road.

[00:19:15] Wow.

[00:19:16] Hey, essentially lays the groundwork in motorcycles aren't where they should be.

[00:19:22] You mean like that?

[00:19:23] And there's like some shredding guitar at moments where you aren't expecting it.

[00:19:27] There's like a guy carrying a little puppet.

[00:19:29] You know, there's just a lot going on.

[00:19:33] It's like new metal.

[00:19:35] Yes.

[00:19:36] Jerry.

[00:19:37] Like it's like what is the movie?

[00:19:40] Well, did you see pink in the movie?

[00:19:43] Yeah.

[00:19:44] They must have right away been like if they're not don't sign on cancel the film.

[00:19:47] Like they are the first phone call we make executive consultants.

[00:19:51] I remember Griffin.

[00:19:53] So I was 16 when this came out.

[00:19:55] I was about to I was 15.

[00:19:57] Yeah, I was 13.

[00:19:58] And yeah, this was like it was like John McTiernan is remaking Rollerball with Chris Klein.

[00:20:03] And I was like those first two things sound good to me.

[00:20:06] And I probably wasn't anti Chris kind of this.

[00:20:08] I don't know if I was like crazy for ourselves in that day, which is at that moment, Chris Klein had a very good comedy career.

[00:20:15] He had done election and two American pie movies.

[00:20:18] Yes.

[00:20:19] And that's basically like a two out of three bad situation.

[00:20:23] And you're like it's not like but who walks out of American pie being like, you know, who is fucking splitting my side?

[00:20:29] Just that client fella.

[00:20:31] I agree.

[00:20:32] He's great in election.

[00:20:33] Yes.

[00:20:34] And look, this is not a totally fair comparison.

[00:20:36] But you're like no one thought Bradley Cooper was going to go from the hangover to American sniper.

[00:20:41] You could see them just being like this guy undeniably looks like a leading man.

[00:20:47] He can hold the camera.

[00:20:48] He's given three good comedy performances.

[00:20:50] Maybe this guy can move lateral.

[00:20:52] It wasn't until they tried it.

[00:20:54] He's a face.

[00:20:55] He's yeah, he's like a guy.

[00:20:57] It was until they tried it that it became so apparent.

[00:20:59] No, he is good at playing one thing and one thing.

[00:21:01] He can play like a hayseed, like a hot hick.

[00:21:04] He can play affable doofus.

[00:21:05] Yeah.

[00:21:06] This was like his first pivot away from his first action film.

[00:21:10] Right.

[00:21:11] He did We Were Soldiers in the same year where he's one of the soldiers.

[00:21:16] Not like a lead character.

[00:21:17] Which is like his first drama.

[00:21:18] I mean, 202 is him trying to step out of teen comedy, high school comedy for the first time and face planting basically.

[00:21:27] Yeah, because then after that who is he in Just Friends?

[00:21:31] He's really good in Just Friends.

[00:21:33] Is he really good in it?

[00:21:35] David, I feel the need to defend this.

[00:21:36] Because I haven't seen Just Friends or if I have, I don't remember.

[00:21:39] No, Just Friends you're like right.

[00:21:40] That's the Ryan Reynolds movie I remember.

[00:21:42] He plays the, Ryan Reynolds is so caught up in not seeming like the sensitive friend zoned guy he was in high school and trying to be an aloof asshole to Amy Smart.

[00:21:53] And Chris Klein plays the super emotional sweetie pie guy that she starts falling for who Ryan Reynolds hates.

[00:22:01] And he plays like the parody of a soft boy.

[00:22:06] Right.

[00:22:07] I think he's good in it.

[00:22:08] It sounds like something he'd be good at.

[00:22:09] Right.

[00:22:10] I'm like American Pie won election Just Friends.

[00:22:12] I'm like those are three perfectly cast Chris Klein uses.

[00:22:17] Have you seen Street Fighter the Legend of Chun-Li?

[00:22:21] I have not.

[00:22:22] Is he in that?

[00:22:23] So he plays, have you played Street Fighter games?

[00:22:26] Yeah.

[00:22:27] You're familiar.

[00:22:28] So that game is, that movie is like alright, there's less about street fighting and more about cops trying to bust up like a ninja ring.

[00:22:34] Okay.

[00:22:35] And Kristen Kreik.

[00:22:37] Everyone wants, everyone's complaint about Street Fighter is that it's too colorful and fun.

[00:22:42] What if we ground this in hard reality and no one really fights?

[00:22:45] So Kristen Kreik, Lana Lang herself plays Chun-Li as like a sort of like undercover spy trying to figure out the shady dealings of M. Bison who's like a businessman.

[00:22:56] And Chris Klein plays Charlie, the Street Fighter character Charlie, as a cop, like an Interpol agent.

[00:23:04] And it is, I think universally agreed to be the worst performance ever given in film.

[00:23:08] Right.

[00:23:09] And there was a viral video that went around that just is a super cut of every line he speaks in the film.

[00:23:14] And it's, it's devastating to watch.

[00:23:16] It's so tough.

[00:23:17] I got to check it out because it's just him being like, well, I guess this is a case for us.

[00:23:22] Like stuff like that where you're like, no, no, they surely like this isn't from the film.

[00:23:26] Right.

[00:23:27] Like, have you seen it?

[00:23:28] The super cut?

[00:23:29] No.

[00:23:30] Have you seen Chun-Li Street Fighter the Legend of Chun-Li?

[00:23:32] No.

[00:23:33] Would we watch it, Griff, if we did Street Fighter as a Patreon commentary series?

[00:23:36] Absolutely.

[00:23:37] But we have to wait for there to be a third one.

[00:23:38] I have referred to this line many times over the course of the show and I want to properly credit and read it properly

[00:23:43] because watching Rollerball, I was like, I need to get this line dead to rights correct and give it proper credit.

[00:23:48] Alonso Duralde writing a review for The Today Show at the time on Today Show's website.

[00:23:54] It didn't even air.

[00:23:55] Has the line.

[00:23:57] I can't remember the last time I watched an actor fail to walk into a room convincingly, but Klein does it.

[00:24:04] Look for a YouTube montage of his Street Fighter performance to pop up any day now, which is what happened.

[00:24:09] But I just think about that all the time.

[00:24:11] Last time I watched an actor fail to walk into a room convincingly.

[00:24:14] Now, I will say his Street Fighter performance feels like a years later overcorrection for a feeling that he wasn't tough enough in Rollerball.

[00:24:24] Right?

[00:24:25] Right.

[00:24:26] Like it feels like he's like, fuck, I seemed a little too corn fed and Rollerball.

[00:24:30] I need a chip on my shoulder.

[00:24:31] I'm going like full Clint Eastwood and that movie is him slick back hair leather jacket being like, give me the beat.

[00:24:37] Sounds like Bison's behind this.

[00:24:40] What is this?

[00:24:41] He's Lucas Lee from Scott Pilgrim.

[00:24:43] Yeah.

[00:24:44] That's what he's doing the whole time.

[00:24:45] Whereas you're right in this he barely like registers as a guy.

[00:24:49] No, it is.

[00:24:51] This is the thing.

[00:24:53] Street Fighter is such a big swing that I think became such a black mark on his career.

[00:24:57] And it was like that followed by the Mamma Mia audition video leaking out turned him into just like definitive punchline.

[00:25:05] This you're like, I don't think he did anything wrong.

[00:25:08] He's not great.

[00:25:10] I think he was horribly cast.

[00:25:12] It is astonishing how little he registers as the lead character.

[00:25:15] Not much to the character.

[00:25:17] That's right.

[00:25:19] Remember at the end when they're like, and now the most famous rollerball player, Jonathan.

[00:25:24] Jonathan.

[00:25:25] Jonathan.

[00:25:26] Yeah.

[00:25:27] Well, let's properly credit his full name.

[00:25:28] Why isn't he called like Ripcorder?

[00:25:29] Jonathan E.

[00:25:31] Jonathan E.

[00:25:32] Jonathan Cross of course is the character's name.

[00:25:35] But like if you're doing pro wrestling, which is what they're doing, why isn't he called like fucking Stars and Stripes or whatever?

[00:25:41] His character also is like not really coherent to me in that.

[00:25:47] Oh no.

[00:25:48] He's a man who he's a man who was almost like NHL level hockey player, but who is also into like X game style.

[00:25:57] Into like street luge.

[00:25:59] Right.

[00:26:00] To me it's like if you're a hockey player, you start so young and you dedicate, you know, like.

[00:26:05] And you're from like Saskatchewan.

[00:26:07] You like skate on a pond.

[00:26:09] But he would like also had triple X like that.

[00:26:12] But you got to go full triple X.

[00:26:13] This is the year before triple X, which is wild because it basically has the same opening.

[00:26:17] Yes. Yes.

[00:26:18] It is wild and it isn't like it's this those movies are tapping into what they sense in the atmosphere.

[00:26:24] They just didn't go far enough in Roller.

[00:26:27] Triple X was a big hit that no one liked.

[00:26:30] Right.

[00:26:31] That absolutely benefits.

[00:26:34] Triple X3 I will stand for all day and all night.

[00:26:37] We should do all three triple X's with Zach.

[00:26:39] We should just watch them.

[00:26:40] I'm into it.

[00:26:41] I love the first one.

[00:26:42] I like the third one.

[00:26:43] I've never seen the second one.

[00:26:45] Two as well.

[00:26:46] The second one is wild.

[00:26:47] I will say that I have seen this really well.

[00:26:50] The second one is a it's like an out of breath ice cube running from like Bulgarian parking lot.

[00:26:55] Right.

[00:26:56] It's like a Washington, D.C. political thriller.

[00:26:59] And the weird supporting ice cube.

[00:27:02] It's like he didn't even like really hit a treadmill.

[00:27:05] He's just like right from are we there yet?

[00:27:07] Yes.

[00:27:08] He's just like, yeah, give me a fucking sub machine gun.

[00:27:10] I'll run around.

[00:27:12] And the first movie is like this is the most extreme guy you've ever met.

[00:27:16] This guy like snowboards to like get breakfast or whatever.

[00:27:20] He's got 80 abs.

[00:27:22] Commutes on a hang glider.

[00:27:23] Triple X3 does the same thing of like right, this guy is addicted to thrills.

[00:27:27] He's doing the most extreme shit all the time.

[00:27:29] But this is the end.

[00:27:31] Like the end all be all for him is living this way.

[00:27:34] This movie opens with Chris Klein street loosing for 10 minutes.

[00:27:38] If you want to break into the NHL, which I think he does right.

[00:27:42] My point like what if I go to my manager and I'm like, yeah, so any, you know,

[00:27:46] Ottawa senators get back to me now they're thinking about it.

[00:27:48] OK, I'm going to do street loosing.

[00:27:50] Don't get hit by a car, buddy.

[00:27:52] They are never arrested.

[00:27:53] The cops are chasing you.

[00:27:55] This movie has two different character setups happening simultaneously and they can't pick which one it is because one is either he's Xander Cage.

[00:28:02] This guy lives through the thrill, but the cops are always on his back.

[00:28:05] But then he would want to play role.

[00:28:06] Exactly.

[00:28:07] He goes, you know, there's a foreign country where you can play a sport that's so extreme and they'll pay you for it and make you famous.

[00:28:14] And he's like, I'm in the other version of it is guy who's always this close to get on the cusp of professional athlete.

[00:28:21] He's like, I think this year I'm finally going to make it.

[00:28:23] LL Cool Jays like, look, dude, let's face facts.

[00:28:26] You're not making it.

[00:28:27] If you want to be an athlete, there's only one option left.

[00:28:30] Now the sports a little dangerous.

[00:28:31] I know you're not a thrill seeker.

[00:28:33] You wanted to play legit sports.

[00:28:35] But if you come over here, you'll have a career.

[00:28:38] You've always wanted to be a goaltender, but how do you feel about roller skating in a rejected American gladiator ring while I ride a motorcycle next?

[00:28:45] This movie is doing both at the same time.

[00:28:48] It tries to argue that this guy is being paid in a Copax paid in fake currency.

[00:28:55] This movie's trying to argue that he's like one hair away from making the mighty ducks, but also he lives for the thrill of death.

[00:29:03] Let's look up the Tenge is the Kazakhstan currency.

[00:29:07] So now you could make this movie and it's like they're on a fucking island in the North Pole and they're being paid in Bitcoin or whatever.

[00:29:15] Like we're ready for rollerball to be attempted again, I think.

[00:29:19] I think so. Yeah.

[00:29:21] Yeah. Here's a thing that's kind of a mind blower.

[00:29:24] We're now almost at the distance from McTiernan's rollerball that McTiernan's rollerball was from Norman Jewison's rollerball.

[00:29:32] That makes sense.

[00:29:33] Yeah, this is this movie is 22 years old.

[00:29:37] It's like cicadas every rollerball goes dormant and.

[00:29:45] David. Yes.

[00:29:46] Ants.

[00:29:47] Ants.

[00:29:48] Ants.

[00:29:49] Ants.

[00:29:50] Ants.

[00:29:51] Ants.

[00:29:52] I hate getting cornered by him.

[00:29:53] We all do.

[00:29:54] I knew that was going to be a relatable conversation starter.

[00:29:57] Why aren't you getting married?

[00:29:59] What's going on with that promotion?

[00:30:01] Why haven't you moved out of Mom and Dad's basement?

[00:30:03] Griffin.

[00:30:04] Oh, those were directed at me.

[00:30:05] I thought they were.

[00:30:06] Now I feel attacked.

[00:30:08] Get out of the basement, Griffin.

[00:30:11] She doesn't listen.

[00:30:13] She just judges, judges, judges.

[00:30:15] You're getting together with your family.

[00:30:16] You might have to be in a barrage with these kinds of questions.

[00:30:19] But.

[00:30:20] Staying there and grinning Barrett.

[00:30:21] I don't want you feeling that way when you talk to your doctor about like a weird rash or that you eat pizza and went too many times a week.

[00:30:29] Or something else.

[00:30:30] Unfortunately.

[00:30:31] We have read for filth by this head copy right now.

[00:30:33] Unfortunately, the twist to this riddle is that the doctor is my aunt.

[00:30:38] Oh no.

[00:30:39] But other people might have another.

[00:30:40] I can't treat this patient.

[00:30:42] He's my nephew.

[00:30:43] Yeah.

[00:30:44] Enter ZocDoc, the place where you can find and book doctors who will make you feel comfortable and actually listen to you.

[00:30:48] We're talking about what I'm talking about.

[00:30:50] Tens of thousands of doctors all with verified patient reviews so you can make sure the vibes are vibing before you ever meet IRL.

[00:30:56] People they think, well, what are the valuable attributes in a doctor?

[00:31:01] Sure.

[00:31:02] Big brain.

[00:31:03] Steady hand.

[00:31:04] Sharp eye.

[00:31:05] Sure.

[00:31:06] Quietly.

[00:31:07] I have an eagle.

[00:31:08] Hand of a hawk.

[00:31:09] It's about the ear.

[00:31:10] Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[00:31:11] The ear and the heart.

[00:31:12] The doctor who can listen and understand.

[00:31:14] Yeah, look, the whole thing with ZocDoc.

[00:31:16] Yeah.

[00:31:17] Well, there's lots of good things with ZocDoc.

[00:31:19] Like, you know, it helps you see if a doctor has your insurance.

[00:31:22] It helps you book appointments.

[00:31:25] Often you can do like within 24 or 48 hours.

[00:31:28] Yeah, you could do a Nolte-Murray.

[00:31:30] You could do a second Nolte-Murray.

[00:31:32] But you really can also try to see if a doctor will make you feel comfortable or prioritize your health.

[00:31:38] You can search by location.

[00:31:40] You can search by availability.

[00:31:41] You can search by insurance.

[00:31:43] There's no compromises here because with ZocDoc you got more options than you know.

[00:31:48] And they're not going to judge you for eating.

[00:31:51] Well, maybe the pizza thing will come up.

[00:31:53] But the basement living probably won't.

[00:31:55] ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you

[00:32:01] and instantly book appointments with them online.

[00:32:03] But immediately, you don't have to wait on hold with a receptionist.

[00:32:06] And they've all got verified reviews from real actual patients.

[00:32:10] Thank God because you know, the unfortunate thing is the receptionist, my other aunt.

[00:32:16] Sheesh.

[00:32:17] When I go to the doctor's office, I get an earful.

[00:32:19] Are you calling from a basement?

[00:32:22] ZocDoc, okay.

[00:32:24] I use this and you should too.

[00:32:27] Go to ZocDoc.com slash check and download the ZocDoc app for free.

[00:32:32] Then find and book a top rated doctor today.

[00:32:35] That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash check.

[00:32:39] ZocDoc.com slash check.

[00:32:41] You can get an appointment like 24 to 72 hours.

[00:32:43] Or in the middle 48 hours in Ulti Murphy, which I accidentally said is an Ulti Marie twice.

[00:32:50] Now I have a question about Timeline because I haven't seen the first film.

[00:32:54] But I looked it up and it was made in what?

[00:32:56] 70?

[00:32:57] 75.

[00:32:58] But it was set in 2005.

[00:33:00] It was set in the future.

[00:33:01] Zach?

[00:33:02] Now this roller ball was set in 2018 to be clear.

[00:33:06] Was set only a few years after it was shot.

[00:33:09] They pulled the in the near future with it, yes.

[00:33:12] Guess who's decision that was?

[00:33:14] John McTiernan, the man who claims they sabotaged his movie.

[00:33:18] I thought that was interesting.

[00:33:19] And I also, I don't know if it really qualifies as a sci-fi.

[00:33:23] Agree?

[00:33:24] The movie that we watch.

[00:33:25] The first one really is.

[00:33:26] The first movie is more of a dystopian film.

[00:33:29] It's set in the future.

[00:33:30] The world is run by businesses.

[00:33:32] This is just like, yeah, it's like two years later and it's in Kazakhstan.

[00:33:35] It's not really science fiction.

[00:33:37] The first one, and this is the thing.

[00:33:40] The first one has a lot of issues.

[00:33:42] But you're like, the actual, the sequences of roller ball are undeniably thrilling.

[00:33:47] Same for this one.

[00:33:48] James Cotch, perfectly.

[00:33:50] So far one to one.

[00:33:51] Perfect leading man.

[00:33:53] Perfectly cast.

[00:33:55] No comment.

[00:33:56] Right, not a one to one there maybe.

[00:33:59] But it's in, like it's ahead of like sort of Robocop.

[00:34:03] I would argue very aligned with the purge where the argument,

[00:34:07] the sort of world of the movie is that like we have let big business take over society.

[00:34:12] We have our like quote unquote benevolent corporate oligarchs.

[00:34:16] Who run everything and they've basically created like world peace.

[00:34:20] They've eradicated war.

[00:34:22] Everything is civil and hermetic and clean.

[00:34:24] And roller ball is basically the purge televised.

[00:34:27] It's the one place where aggression is let out in society.

[00:34:31] It's sort of like the equivalent of public executions where people watch the sport.

[00:34:35] Where people get thrown into this, you know, bloody mash and try to survive.

[00:34:40] But it's like this is where the cultural anger, frustration, violence gets released.

[00:34:46] And when they set out to remake this movie, that was, they were like, look, it's even more, there's a way to evolve this.

[00:34:53] And McTiernan went, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:34:55] Just put it in a weird country.

[00:34:57] Yeah, we lost a little bit of that.

[00:34:59] I crack open this dossier assuming I'm going to read.

[00:35:03] MGM refused to pay to set it in the future.

[00:35:06] Studio said it was less relatable if it was in the future.

[00:35:09] They were ready to go with this movie takes place in the future.

[00:35:12] It's a collapsed society.

[00:35:14] If I can shout out one of my favorite movies of recent years, Alita Battle Angel, which does roller ball basically, basically they, which is a futuristic film, obviously.

[00:35:23] Have you danced with Alita?

[00:35:25] Yes. Yes, I loved Alita.

[00:35:27] I believe it's called Murderball.

[00:35:29] No, that's that's an actual sport.

[00:35:30] I forget what it is.

[00:35:31] Whatever the roller ball thing they play.

[00:35:33] That's awesome.

[00:35:34] Like and those sequences are great.

[00:35:36] I love that movie.

[00:35:37] Right.

[00:35:38] And it's like underlining all of the like, here's what's happened to society stuff.

[00:35:41] Right.

[00:35:42] Motorball.

[00:35:43] Motorball.

[00:35:44] Right.

[00:35:45] Murderball, of course, is paraplegic basketball that is played in and is crazier than any of the sports we're discussing.

[00:35:51] Yes.

[00:35:52] So, OK, yes.

[00:35:53] Nineteen seventy five.

[00:35:54] Norman Jewison is a follow up to Fiddler on the Roof and Jesus Christ Superstar made a movie called Rollerball.

[00:35:59] It is so bizarre that he made this.

[00:36:01] It's information that pops out of my head because it doesn't fit.

[00:36:04] And even in the day it was like do a sci fi every so often.

[00:36:07] Right.

[00:36:08] Those are hot, you know, especially in the 70s.

[00:36:10] And it was also a it was a talent sci fi in a way that was a little rare.

[00:36:15] James Kahn like three years after Godfather.

[00:36:17] He's big deal.

[00:36:18] Pre Star Wars.

[00:36:19] It's kind of interesting that this was such a major movie from people at a major point in their career.

[00:36:24] And the film does well.

[00:36:26] JJ could not verify the final growth.

[00:36:28] It was a success.

[00:36:29] No, but it was a success.

[00:36:30] Yeah.

[00:36:31] And it was a follow up to the original following that lingered for a while.

[00:36:34] Like that movie's got interesting ideas.

[00:36:35] That movie is kind of effective.

[00:36:37] So this is interesting that MGM at some point owns United Artists who made the original.

[00:36:43] They buy you buy it in the 80s.

[00:36:45] Yeah.

[00:36:46] And at some point in the 90s they're like we should do video games with our properties.

[00:36:50] GoldenEye, the Nintendo 64 game, is there one unqualified success from that initiative?

[00:36:56] But it makes perfect sense.

[00:36:58] The way we watch all the time now when these companies buy other companies and immediately go what IP to exploit.

[00:37:03] They go, what are the three properties we have that are best suited for a video game?

[00:37:06] James Bond, check.

[00:37:08] Rocky, check.

[00:37:09] Rocky and Rollerball are the other two.

[00:37:11] And then Rollerball is the third one.

[00:37:12] And people I think went, Rollerball, that's weird to be included.

[00:37:15] But you know what? You're right.

[00:37:16] That movie does feel like it's built to be a video game.

[00:37:18] But they eventually abandon it and decide let's do a movie.

[00:37:22] Right.

[00:37:23] It seems like the process of them considering it for a video game made them realize why wouldn't

[00:37:27] we just make a new movie?

[00:37:29] John McTiernan had just remade a Norman Jewison United Artists film, The Thomas Crown Affair.

[00:37:35] Yes, 13th Warrior comes out after it, but he made that before it.

[00:37:39] In the timeline of his career, yes.

[00:37:41] And they liked that movie.

[00:37:43] Do you like that movie? Pierce Brosnan, Stealing Art?

[00:37:45] Haven't seen that one.

[00:37:46] Gentlemen Criminal?

[00:37:47] Do you like A Gentlemen Criminal?

[00:37:48] It sounds right up my alley.

[00:37:50] You'll like it.

[00:37:51] It's a wonderful film, but it's classic Hollywood thinking of we just worked with this director who did a good job

[00:37:56] remaking a different director's movie.

[00:37:58] Why wouldn't we rehire him to do a different remake of that previous director's other film?

[00:38:04] At that point, yes, he had made two kind of like bizarre flops, Last Action Hero and The 13th Warrior.

[00:38:10] But neither of them are I think fiascos in the way this movie, I mean nothing is a fiasco in the way this movie is.

[00:38:16] So they can kind of hand wave it with like look man, he did Die Hard with a Vengeance.

[00:38:20] That rocked. He did Thomas Crown.

[00:38:22] That was so successful.

[00:38:23] I think Last Action Hero is seen as like classic studio excess.

[00:38:27] Schwarzenegger, people were sick of him.

[00:38:28] That's the other thing.

[00:38:29] I think it gets pinned more on this just Schwarzenegger's folly.

[00:38:31] I think at the time of that movie, it's pinned on Arnie.

[00:38:35] I think 13th Warrior they're like well that whole thing just went pear shaped.

[00:38:39] And then fucking Thomas Crown was one of those movies that like gets someone back in good standing where they were like this shouldn't have worked.

[00:38:46] He made a solid hit late summer for grownups.

[00:38:49] And McJernan is like that's my favorite movie that I've made since Hunt for Red October.

[00:38:53] I wanted to make an adult love story.

[00:38:55] MGM let me and so I love MGM.

[00:38:59] Like I'll do anything.

[00:39:01] Says a lot of movies are radio plays with visual aids the way television used to be.

[00:39:06] Rollerball is entirely visual, completely different from anything I've done before.

[00:39:10] You made Die Hard.

[00:39:11] What are you talking about?

[00:39:12] All of the quotes that JJ has pulled up.

[00:39:14] He's some fucking black box theater director.

[00:39:16] He keeps making these statements that are incompatible with someone who has directed Die Hard and Predator.

[00:39:22] He says that we've counted the number of shots in the film.

[00:39:24] It's nearly 9000.

[00:39:26] Cochrane's only has 470.

[00:39:28] He said two things about that one Stanley Kubrick does long takes.

[00:39:31] Everybody knows that too.

[00:39:33] Am I supposed to be like excited that it has 9000 shot?

[00:39:37] That doesn't sound good in terms of dollar per shot.

[00:39:43] These shots are cheap.

[00:39:45] Also, here's a complaint I have about this movie right off the dome.

[00:39:48] Too many shots.

[00:39:49] Yeah, definitely would be my first note.

[00:39:51] Found it disorienting and hard to follow.

[00:39:53] It's just like I'm like I'm launching a new restaurant.

[00:39:55] Oh, okay.

[00:39:56] What's your vibe?

[00:39:57] I'm like so many restaurants only have 50 menu items.

[00:40:00] I'm doing 5000 right off the bat.

[00:40:02] You can't get anything here.

[00:40:04] There will be like 30 second dialogue scenes in this movie that I swear have 29 cuts and the cuts are between angles that are two degrees off from each other.

[00:40:13] Okay, I feel like it works for about the first 30 minutes.

[00:40:17] Look, I agree with you that for the first 30 minutes, I saw like I'm like this is great.

[00:40:22] Yeah, but I am following what's going on.

[00:40:25] I'm going okay.

[00:40:26] I kind of see what they're going for and then it goes and then I go.

[00:40:30] Oh, they're not going for what I thought they were going for basically.

[00:40:34] The broadcast is great.

[00:40:37] That was the broad.

[00:40:39] The best idea.

[00:40:40] Yes.

[00:40:41] You know is like this is pro wrestling plus roller derby plus motorcycles.

[00:40:45] The graphics and the aesthetics.

[00:40:47] It also seemed like that was the only part of the movie where they kept the original idea of like you're getting those like sponsored reads in the middle of it like oh, this is a capitalism thing.

[00:40:57] That almost completely goes away like that specific critique for the rest of the movie.

[00:41:04] There's this thing of like McTiernan.

[00:41:06] I mean, we're getting to this but like McTiernan being like you don't need to set this in the future.

[00:41:10] That's like a distancing effect for the audience.

[00:41:13] We're already close enough to the society where this would happen.

[00:41:16] Just set it in a country that's less advanced than us in a way that feels weirdly xenophobic.

[00:41:21] Yeah, or reductive.

[00:41:23] Yes.

[00:41:24] Yes.

[00:41:25] I mean, I don't think I'll see if this comes up.

[00:41:28] I don't think McTiernan like went to Kazakhstan and spent a month there being like let me really soak it up here.

[00:41:33] What's going on here?

[00:41:34] His line of thinking was like I don't know those animals will watch anything.

[00:41:38] Set it in some lawless country that no one cares about was basically his line of thinking.

[00:41:43] Which I mean is also pretty much what led Borat to be you know like.

[00:41:48] Borat is 100% just them being like let's just find a country with a funny name.

[00:41:52] People have no cultural associations with this place.

[00:41:55] It's just a name that they vaguely heard.

[00:41:57] They'll believe anything we tell them.

[00:41:59] We need to introduce a figure who is important as much as you're going to regret it.

[00:42:03] Harry Knowles is very important at various steps of the legacy of this movie.

[00:42:08] Obviously, this film is also being developed at the peak of his power.

[00:42:12] That's the thing.

[00:42:13] Of his influence over the movie.

[00:42:14] You know who Harry Knowles is obviously.

[00:42:16] I know none of the context around this movie to the point where when I told Griffin I wanted to do it.

[00:42:20] Then I texted him like two days later going, holy shit.

[00:42:23] I just looked at the Wikipedia.

[00:42:25] What Pandora's box of my own.

[00:42:27] Prison involved.

[00:42:28] You're thinking like oh roller ball.

[00:42:30] That's like a piece of junk that we can have some fun chatting about.

[00:42:33] Yeah, I just remember it was some crazy you know over-the-top movie.

[00:42:36] And then Zach texted me.

[00:42:38] I just got to the controversy section of the Wikipedia page.

[00:42:42] So I also know nothing about what we're about to learn here.

[00:42:44] If you think about it like 2000 or post Phantom Menace.

[00:42:47] Harry Knowles is king of the nerds on the internet 1.0.

[00:42:51] 98 and 99 are Batman and Robin and Phantom Menace.

[00:42:55] Which are the two movies where studios start to step back and going is this guy actually.

[00:43:00] Having an effect on the reaction to these movies.

[00:43:04] Right, it's him like bad mouthing our scripts as he gets limb-linked.

[00:43:08] Bad mouthing the movies when they come out like actually depressing interest in these films.

[00:43:12] Are people actually looking for this guy Isabelle Weather?

[00:43:14] Now the answer now I could go and tell them is no.

[00:43:17] The Phantom Menace was hugely successful and Batman and Robin didn't do well because it wasn't what the culture wanted at the time.

[00:43:23] Like you know I actually enjoy things about that film but you know it was not meeting the culture right.

[00:43:29] But he basically was a one man Twitter at that point.

[00:43:34] Where it was like the industry looking online and being like people are making fun of us.

[00:43:38] But beyond that are we not in on the show.

[00:43:40] That's a sci-fi film.

[00:43:42] That's where he's going to flex his power the most.

[00:43:44] I mean he was such a big like 70's genre guy and this is an era where things are getting remade all the time.

[00:43:50] That I feel like he was a guy where Blank Studios announces remake of Blank starring Blank.

[00:43:56] He would just do the all caps fuck you don't do this.

[00:44:00] Then would write a soliloquy acting like Rollerball was the greatest American film of all time.

[00:44:04] There was a lot of that shit of him being like don't touch my classics.

[00:44:07] But not with Rollerball.

[00:44:08] The thing is.

[00:44:09] This is why it's fascinating.

[00:44:11] He gets his hand on the first script for this remake written by David C. Wilson.

[00:44:15] And that film was set in a post apocalyptic future.

[00:44:18] That film was not doing what this movie.

[00:44:20] That script.

[00:44:21] An era where there will be potential remakes that are floating around.

[00:44:25] He'll get the script early.

[00:44:26] He will bad mouth the script so hard on his site that they're like hard reset back to development.

[00:44:31] Movie cancelled.

[00:44:32] If he gives us a bad review of the first draft we're done.

[00:44:35] He says in every single facet the scripts are an improvement on the original.

[00:44:40] In every single facet?

[00:44:42] Every single facet.

[00:44:43] A very different script than what we saw in Star Wars.

[00:44:45] Right.

[00:44:46] And I actually tried to hunt around for it.

[00:44:49] I have not been able to find it.

[00:44:51] It doesn't seem to be viewable.

[00:44:53] No.

[00:44:54] It sounds like a fairly hard sci-fi script though.

[00:44:57] It's set in this mega corporate post apocalyptic future.

[00:45:02] There are no books anymore.

[00:45:03] Everything is visual.

[00:45:04] It sounds cool.

[00:45:07] It sounds cool.

[00:45:08] I mean, Turen comes on and he's like boring Kazakhstan.

[00:45:11] Like genuinely.

[00:45:12] Right.

[00:45:13] And then they're like well who do you want for the lead?

[00:45:16] Who's the modern day James Kahn?

[00:45:18] And his response is I think it should be some goofy deeply uncool simpleton.

[00:45:24] He basically says he picks Chris Klein because Chris Klein feels like Jimmy Stewart.

[00:45:29] Not the guy who would be in an action movie.

[00:45:31] So you're just like wait a second.

[00:45:33] They hand him a script that's like hey this is tailor made for any of the great current action stars and it's set in a cool post apocalyptic future.

[00:45:41] A dystopia.

[00:45:43] And he's just like no foreign country.

[00:45:45] He I mean.

[00:45:46] Oz from American pie.

[00:45:47] Like you said he's like do you need to go in the future to make it plausible that people get hurt so that others get rich?

[00:45:52] Nonsense.

[00:45:53] All you have to do is get it out of North America or Western Europe.

[00:45:56] I you know I understand like being like look these post Soviet republics like there is a lot of like gangsterism like you can make a movie about that if you really want to make a movie about that.

[00:46:09] If that's you can't just shortcut to like Mad Max is happening over there essentially which is what they have done.

[00:46:16] Yeah and also like you know it's very plausible that that would be happening here.

[00:46:23] Yes.

[00:46:24] So that's the thing him saying like it's just not in America.

[00:46:28] I'm like because then his point is like also the W.W.E. and you're like that's in America.

[00:46:33] Right.

[00:46:34] And I know that's that's that I think is rude for him to be like this could only happen in a less developed country.

[00:46:41] Yeah you lose a lot of the teeth of the commentary by being like well you know America is immune to this like but yeah.

[00:46:48] The thing is whatever Harry Knowles is saying about this original script had like commentary built in.

[00:46:54] This film does not have comments in it apart from like there's a rich cheater.

[00:47:00] There is color commentary.

[00:47:04] There is color commentary but it's like rich guys will will do anything to make a buck.

[00:47:09] But like that's about it.

[00:47:11] There was one point that they really drove home.

[00:47:14] I'll call it the night crawler effect.

[00:47:17] Go ahead where they have the live global ratings number and they don't say it out loud ever.

[00:47:23] But if you're if you're a really nuanced film watcher you will notice that when the violence happens number goes up.

[00:47:31] It is but it's what it's called like the global rating and it's literally just like 20 and then somebody gets punched in like 21.

[00:47:39] Right now it's like all right.

[00:47:40] It like lights a cigar and when they're just playing like a really good game of rollerball it's at like seven.

[00:47:46] Yeah so you know there's a little commentary in there about they cut to that our appetite for violence.

[00:47:52] Yes they cut to that ratings number so many times I like yes it's like whatever any given Sunday is a film that came out like a couple years.

[00:48:01] That's a movie that I feel like is trying to thread this need a little bit right.

[00:48:05] Obviously in a American context I want to I just want to get this out of the way.

[00:48:10] A movie that I feel successfully achieves what this movie is kind of trying to do and is also a remake of a beloved 70s genre movie.

[00:48:21] I think Paul W.S. Anderson's death race is very similar to this where it's like a pretty loose remake that goes like prison state.

[00:48:32] We care so little for the incarcerated we force them to play like Mario Kart with spikes.

[00:48:38] Yes yes I mean and it's all about like you know Joan Allen as the warden slash mogul.

[00:48:45] There's another trying to get ratings racing film that race yeah that is does this better speed racer right which is also basically set in a dystopia just like a colorful one.

[00:48:55] I just think there's something to talk about like you know it may be being time to remake this movie again.

[00:49:01] There is a cross section in terms of like real life issues of like a the like college sports system right that like commodifies these young men and especially football where it's like are we pushing people into potentially life affecting injuries for the sake of like our own enjoyment and jersey sales and whatever.

[00:49:24] And also I feel like there's something in the idea of remaking roller ball of like the pipeline to the military in the United States of like the only way so many people in this country are given any chance of freedom for their future is like you got to do something really barbaric and dangerous for a couple years.

[00:49:43] And if you survive it on the other end you build a life for yourself.

[00:49:47] There's something about shipping people off to roller ball.

[00:49:50] Well there's also a version of remaking this one not the original yes where the modern conversation around sports washing and like the Saudi wealth fund is like buying up every American sports league that's all and all the Americans are going over there and basically lending legitimacy to that effort.

[00:50:07] It's like stuff that's weirdly in the soul of this version yeah that isn't in the original right that almost ahead of its time but the movie fucked up there's a McTiernan quote.

[00:50:17] Where he says this is from a movie line interview in August 2001 so this is when I guess before the movie got pushed back when he was promoting its original release.

[00:50:26] He said I might be so far out there on roller ball that this could be another time I get my head handed to me.

[00:50:32] He was right in a sense yes but lack of failure is clear evidence of either being an absolute genius or being a coward.

[00:50:38] I know roller ball is exciting for me.

[00:50:40] I hope it's exciting for the audience and it is enormously political.

[00:50:44] Someone said recently this movie is about your Hollywood bosses.

[00:50:49] Yeah look I even 90s obviously he he tussled with a lot of CEOs and I think with a lot of big name stars because he also says like best thing about making a genre movie you don't need a 20 million dollar guy genre sells the movie right so I don't need to knock on the door of a big star.

[00:51:07] Also remakes where he's like two movies where the IP is the star.

[00:51:12] Pierce Brosnan is obviously a big deal and he's Bond in someone he's worked with before.

[00:51:16] Well who knows that guy?

[00:51:17] Right but it's very different than working with an Arnold or a Connery or someone like that and he like loves the fact that this movie he's like I can pluck a guy who's not.

[00:51:25] It's funny though that he's like I can pluck this yokel to play this moron like Chris Klantz is sitting there like oh okay he's like this fucking guy you know how cheap he came?

[00:51:35] He's saying these quotes while promoting the movie.

[00:51:37] No he's paying me to be in the movie basically.

[00:51:40] Look have you seen Say It Isn't So the other film that Chris Klantz did?

[00:51:46] I think he is good in that.

[00:51:47] You are clearly the biggest Chris Klantz fan in the world.

[00:51:50] I think Chris Klantz comedy career in its first wave was pretty good.

[00:51:54] I think he has a charming presence to him.

[00:51:58] Yes I'll give you that.

[00:52:00] There's something interesting to him as a character type.

[00:52:04] In the right roles right?

[00:52:06] Where he is so guileless.

[00:52:08] He feels like the type of guy you should hate.

[00:52:10] This guy right here?

[00:52:12] What?

[00:52:14] And on Chris Klantz's Instagram here's a picture of him making what I guess you would call a goofy face?

[00:52:22] A soy face.

[00:52:24] Posting it on a laptop making a goofy face.

[00:52:27] It's the jerks would call it.

[00:52:29] But this is kind of the thing.

[00:52:30] He seems guileless to this day.

[00:52:32] He played these guys where it was incredibly handsome corn fed sort of jockey types.

[00:52:38] Where you're like god I fucking hate this guy.

[00:52:41] This guy is probably such an asshole.

[00:52:42] And he's like hey how's it going?

[00:52:44] And you're like there's something disarming about how nice and sort of clueless he seems to be.

[00:52:49] There's something very puppy dog about him.

[00:52:52] He seems lovely.

[00:52:53] He's also 21 years old when he made this movie.

[00:52:56] Which is insane.

[00:52:57] He's like a true baby.

[00:52:58] He's like it was a hundred million dollar project.

[00:53:01] He's being directed by the director Die Hard and Predator.

[00:53:03] I did my best.

[00:53:04] The movie doesn't work.

[00:53:05] It wasn't for lack of effort on my part.

[00:53:07] If he's making an effort you don't really notice it.

[00:53:09] But yes, it's not really his quote unquote faults.

[00:53:14] No.

[00:53:15] Election is kind of famously Alexander Payne spotted him when I think they were scouting the high school.

[00:53:21] And he's just brilliant in that but it's like he's the natural.

[00:53:26] Right. You're like is this just the one perfect use of this guy?

[00:53:29] Right.

[00:53:30] And then I think the fact that he replicated a couple times to lesser degrees.

[00:53:33] He's terrible in American Pie.

[00:53:34] You keep acting like America.

[00:53:36] Look, I think he's good in American Pie.

[00:53:38] One.

[00:53:39] That is actually an opinion you need to think about.

[00:53:42] You need to go and sit down and think about it.

[00:53:45] American Pie.

[00:53:46] OK so of the four boys are him, Jason Biggs, Thomas E. and Nicholas, and Eddie K. Thomas right?

[00:53:52] Yes because Stifler's kind of adjunct member.

[00:53:54] Stifler is obviously the biggest success of American Pie.

[00:53:57] So let's set him aside.

[00:53:58] But in the first movie, Stifler's kind of a slimer.

[00:54:00] He's an antagonist who slowly becomes a friend.

[00:54:02] Right and like then he drinks come and runs into a wall.

[00:54:05] You've seen American Pie.

[00:54:06] Yeah.

[00:54:07] Spoiler for any of our listeners who haven't seen American Pie.

[00:54:10] Stifler drinks come and walks into a wall.

[00:54:13] So if I'm ranking the boys of American Pie, the only thing I know is that Klein is bottom.

[00:54:19] Finch, that's Eddie K. Thomas or is that Thomas E. and Nicholas?

[00:54:22] I always mix those two up.

[00:54:24] Eddie K. Thomas is Finch.

[00:54:25] He's the best.

[00:54:26] He's the best one.

[00:54:28] Right and then I think Biggs is a comfy number two.

[00:54:31] And then I'm going to what you think you think Klein over Thomas E. and Nicholas.

[00:54:34] I'll give you that.

[00:54:35] He's the wettest blanket in the world.

[00:54:36] Yeah all right.

[00:54:37] You know what?

[00:54:38] All right.

[00:54:39] Rookie of the year goes bottom.

[00:54:40] Because the other thing is Klein in American Pie is the one of the group.

[00:54:42] That was the guy from Rookie of the Year.

[00:54:44] He's the one who's Tara Reads.

[00:54:46] Yeah.

[00:54:47] I think the dilemmas are like Biggs has no girlfriend, masturbates into a sock.

[00:54:52] His dad won't shut up about sex.

[00:54:54] He fucks up pie.

[00:54:55] Yes.

[00:54:56] Eventually he ends up with Alice in Hannigan.

[00:54:59] Right.

[00:55:00] Klein in the second move.

[00:55:01] That's when they fall in love.

[00:55:02] He does.

[00:55:03] Klein is like the alpha jock but no one wants to fuck him.

[00:55:07] I can't remember why.

[00:55:08] This is what I kind of like about it.

[00:55:09] What's his arc?

[00:55:10] Klein is like super jock football player where you're like why is he hanging out

[00:55:14] with these nerds?

[00:55:15] But it's like he's such a sweet guy.

[00:55:16] He doesn't think about social strata.

[00:55:17] He is the one in the group who has had sex.

[00:55:20] No, he hasn't.

[00:55:21] No, none of them have had.

[00:55:22] He describes it like Apple pie.

[00:55:24] The warm man.

[00:55:25] No, no, no.

[00:55:26] He's talking about blow jobs when he says that.

[00:55:27] Griffin, you clearly don't remember.

[00:55:28] He's not talking about blow jobs.

[00:55:29] He's talking about fingering.

[00:55:30] Whatever.

[00:55:31] Yes.

[00:55:32] Stop fighting.

[00:55:33] He's talking about nonsexual.

[00:55:34] I wish I had prepped by watching American Pie.

[00:55:36] I had no idea this was going to come up.

[00:55:38] I rewatched this movie like a year ago.

[00:55:39] In my memory, Chris Klein has had sex and that's why.

[00:55:42] They're virgins.

[00:55:43] That's the whole point of the movie.

[00:55:44] The point is that he's not really part of it.

[00:55:46] At the end of the movie, he's the one person who doesn't sleep with his girlfriend.

[00:55:49] That is correct.

[00:55:50] What you are miss what you are construing here is that he's the one who actually

[00:55:53] is like, I didn't do it and who cares?

[00:55:55] Like that's what you're.

[00:55:56] I've always read is he has had sex before and that's like he's not part of it.

[00:56:00] Their whole pact is the four of them.

[00:56:01] They're all virgins.

[00:56:02] Okay.

[00:56:03] Let's start watching American Pie right now.

[00:56:07] It's going to keep talking.

[00:56:09] Eddie K Thomas's Tara Reed.

[00:56:11] Who's the fourth?

[00:56:12] Oh, and then no.

[00:56:13] Eddie K Thomas sleeps with Jennifer Coolidge.

[00:56:15] He's the pretentious one.

[00:56:16] He's the snob.

[00:56:17] He's funny.

[00:56:18] He's got a flask.

[00:56:19] He's the best.

[00:56:20] And then Thomas Ian Nicholas is with Tara Reed.

[00:56:22] These structures are the ones where you're just like, you're just in a serious relationship.

[00:56:25] Like you're going to have sex.

[00:56:26] You don't need to be making any goofy packs.

[00:56:28] The whole thing is that he's a jock who's trying to make himself seem like more of a nerd because

[00:56:32] Mina Savari is not into him.

[00:56:34] So he has to join the chorus.

[00:56:36] Right.

[00:56:37] He sings.

[00:56:38] Yeah.

[00:56:39] Scooby Dooby.

[00:56:40] He's funny.

[00:56:41] He's not making it sound good.

[00:56:43] Scooby Dooby.

[00:56:45] I think we might also be right for an American Pie reboot.

[00:56:49] We start from the bottom.

[00:56:51] Starring us.

[00:56:53] Alright guys, we're a bunch of dudes in our 30s.

[00:56:56] Let's lose our virginities.

[00:56:58] I will never forget Spike Lee being like, the guy sticks his dick in a pie.

[00:57:03] That's a movie?

[00:57:04] Like some interview.

[00:57:06] This is the other thing with that movie.

[00:57:08] This is why Thomas Ian Nicholas's character.

[00:57:10] To be clear, the film is directed by blank check favorite Chris Weiss.

[00:57:15] But I can remember the other characters names.

[00:57:17] I can't even remember Thomas Ian Nichols character name.

[00:57:20] It's Fitch, it's Oz, it's Jim.

[00:57:24] Of course he of Jim's dad.

[00:57:26] Of course.

[00:57:28] And I forget what the other guy's fucking name is.

[00:57:31] The Shermanator.

[00:57:32] Stifler.

[00:57:33] Stifler.

[00:57:34] Shermanator.

[00:57:35] Nadia.

[00:57:36] Well I'm happy to tell you that Thomas Ian Nichols' character is called Kevin.

[00:57:40] What a guy!

[00:57:42] It's a clear case like Caddyshack where he was supposed to be the lead of the movie.

[00:57:47] He's the normal guy.

[00:57:49] Because he's the one with the most stable relationship.

[00:57:51] Because Spikes is the weirdo fucking a pie.

[00:57:53] And the whole thing is that Casey Affleck hands him the book of love.

[00:57:57] Casey Affleck is in American Pie?

[00:58:00] Casey Affleck plays Kevin's brother who says there's a book that I've hidden that has all the secrets of how to have sex.

[00:58:07] And the second movie they call up Casey Affleck again and Casey Affleck is like the secret is in the summer after your first year of college you have to rent a house with Stifler.

[00:58:16] Yeah right.

[00:58:17] The secret is your contract said you were obligated to do this film.

[00:58:21] In an expanded role he's now second billed.

[00:58:24] Oh boy.

[00:58:26] He's clearly supposed to be like the audience surrogate central leading man normal guy.

[00:58:31] Sure rookie of the year.

[00:58:32] Right and then everyone else pops in that movie where he's just kind of the boring guy in the movie.

[00:58:36] And then they don't bring Klein back for American Wedding which I think is a combination of he had gotten too big while also bombing.

[00:58:43] He was not worth the amount of money it would have cost to have him play the fourth guy when also he was on a bad run.

[00:58:52] What a great noise going on with you.

[00:58:57] Oh boy.

[00:58:58] Hello.

[00:58:59] Really David you're not going to say anything.

[00:59:01] What am I supposed to say how healthy are you.

[00:59:05] Oh you're glowing.

[00:59:07] Well it took a while to get that out of you.

[00:59:10] Why do you look so healthy.

[00:59:11] Why am I glowing green.

[00:59:13] Yes bright green.

[00:59:15] I'll tell you why.

[00:59:16] Yeah.

[00:59:17] I'm glowing green because of the healthiest thing I do every day.

[00:59:20] And I want you on this journey with me David.

[00:59:22] Which is?

[00:59:23] The journey.

[00:59:24] Here's the journey.

[00:59:25] I wake up.

[00:59:26] We're cutting past the part where I hit my snooze button 15 times.

[00:59:30] OK.

[00:59:31] I wake up.

[00:59:33] OK.

[00:59:34] Scoop.

[00:59:38] Scoop.

[00:59:40] What is this ASMR ad?

[00:59:44] I'm drinking field of greens.

[00:59:46] Oh it's the healthiest thing you do every day.

[00:59:48] It is.

[00:59:49] That's what I said.

[00:59:50] All right.

[00:59:51] Listen.

[00:59:52] It's completely improved my life David.

[00:59:53] It's nutrition the way that nature intended.

[00:59:56] It gives me more energy throughout the day.

[00:59:58] It's got me sleeping better throughout the night.

[01:00:00] Healthier hair and skin helps with digestion.

[01:00:03] And boy no.

[01:00:04] The Lord knows I need help in the button.

[01:00:07] You do.

[01:00:08] Your stomach feels better.

[01:00:09] Yeah.

[01:00:10] Your stomach feels better.

[01:00:11] I feel better and healthier overall.

[01:00:12] What flavor do you go for.

[01:00:13] And here are some of the choices.

[01:00:15] There's the original.

[01:00:16] Yeah.

[01:00:17] Then they've got wild berry, strawberry lemonade, lemon lime.

[01:00:20] Yeah.

[01:00:21] Raw.

[01:00:22] If you like to live on the edge.

[01:00:23] Charge.

[01:00:24] Want to make it clear that original and raw are two different things.

[01:00:27] Insight?

[01:00:28] Yeah.

[01:00:29] They've got lots of different kinds of options.

[01:00:31] I think the insight one is for helping to increase focus and charge is for getting

[01:00:36] a little energy boost or whatever.

[01:00:38] But they've got lots of different options.

[01:00:40] Each organic fruit and vegetable was medically chosen to support health and vital organ health.

[01:00:45] Heart and vital organ health.

[01:00:47] Well, are you going to say it doesn't also support health?

[01:00:51] And vital health.

[01:00:52] Yeah.

[01:00:53] I'm not wrong.

[01:00:54] I might be saying the same thing two times but it's not wrong.

[01:00:57] David look me in the eyes.

[01:00:59] Can I make you a promise?

[01:01:01] A solemn promise.

[01:01:03] You specifically are going to love this product.

[01:01:07] But!

[01:01:09] Here's a huge qualifier.

[01:01:11] If any reason you don't, Field of Green is going to give you 100% money back guarantee.

[01:01:17] Okay that sounds cool.

[01:01:18] And now here's the twist.

[01:01:19] I extend the same promise to all of our listeners.

[01:01:22] That's right.

[01:01:23] 100% money back guarantee.

[01:01:25] And here's the other thing.

[01:01:26] I got you 15% off your first order and free rush shipping.

[01:01:30] Such a kind gift.

[01:01:31] Thank you so much.

[01:01:32] You just have to visit fieldofgreens.com and use promo code check.

[01:01:35] That's promo code check at fieldofgreens.com.

[01:01:38] Fieldofgreens.com.

[01:01:40] If you scoop it they will drink.

[01:01:43] Is that something I should have done?

[01:01:45] If you scoop it they will drink?

[01:01:47] Yeah, you should have done that instead of clearing your throat various times and then mimicking pouring water.

[01:01:52] Maybe that's a spoiler for what's coming in next ad read.

[01:01:55] But just quickly if you don't mind let me just do something.

[01:01:57] Scoop.

[01:01:59] Scoop.

[01:02:01] There we go.

[01:02:05] We should also shout out that of course this film has LL Cool J in it.

[01:02:09] It does.

[01:02:10] Much like Ice Cube who I was just being mean about but is kind of similar to LL Cool J where you're like they're always going to be fine.

[01:02:18] Those guys sort of know how to behave somewhat charismatically.

[01:02:22] Yeah, yeah.

[01:02:23] Like Cool J's always compelling.

[01:02:25] Like they don't usually get much to do in any of these movies like the rappers turned actors of the 90s like but you know but like they're fine.

[01:02:32] Yeah.

[01:02:33] Now he has nothing to do in this film.

[01:02:36] Like really he's basically come to roller ball after this his work is done.

[01:02:40] I was watching it assuming the twist was going to be that he was in on it.

[01:02:44] Right, yeah.

[01:02:45] And he was setting Chris Klein up for the fall and instead halfway through he's like hey man I got a heart out on this project.

[01:02:50] He's the guy who just kind of explains to Chris Klein what's happening.

[01:02:54] Yes.

[01:02:55] He's like hey man have you noticed that something's going on?

[01:03:00] It feels like those numbers go up when we get punched.

[01:03:03] I cannot like I just want to restate this movie opens with extended street looging sequence that this article I read said was much longer than the original R rated cut.

[01:03:13] Cops are chasing him.

[01:03:14] You think they're going to swarm around him.

[01:03:16] LL Cool J pulls up in a luxury sports car opens the door he's like hey man get in pulls him in.

[01:03:22] You're like who is this guy?

[01:03:23] He's like hey man I'm pitching it to you one last time you should do roller ball.

[01:03:26] He's like I don't know I don't know if I want to do roller ball.

[01:03:28] He's like please do roller ball.

[01:03:29] Hard cut to Kazakhstan they're both playing roller ball.

[01:03:32] This all happens within like five minutes where this movie isn't.

[01:03:36] This is the other thing you imagine that part of the setup in both versions that I said the one where it's like this guy lives for the edge.

[01:03:43] You want to do the most dangerous sport in the world or the one where he wants to make the NHL and it's like dude you're not going to cut it.

[01:03:49] Your only option is to play roller ball.

[01:03:51] In both cases you imagine that scene starts with like hey man I heard about something.

[01:03:57] It's a little underground.

[01:03:58] Sure yeah.

[01:03:59] Yeah right right or you're not supposed to talk about it.

[01:04:02] Right and instead he's pitching it to him like it's pickleball.

[01:04:06] Yes.

[01:04:07] This thing is on the verge of breaking out.

[01:04:09] You know roller ball I pitch it to you five times are you going to accept it this time.

[01:04:12] Yes I guess I will.

[01:04:13] Do you remember slam ball.

[01:04:15] Yeah.

[01:04:16] It's an era of people being like we just like plus up a sport a little bit like sell the TV rights.

[01:04:21] Spike TV version.

[01:04:22] Yes exactly.

[01:04:23] What the fuck is slam ball.

[01:04:24] What the fuck is slam ball.

[01:04:25] Slam ball was basketball with trampolines and the paint.

[01:04:29] OK.

[01:04:30] Yeah.

[01:04:31] Interesting.

[01:04:32] When you watched it like five if you watch it for five seconds you were like they've invented the perfect sport.

[01:04:36] And then after five more seconds you were like oh this is unwatchable.

[01:04:39] Sort of like roller ball.

[01:04:40] You had a similar arc.

[01:04:41] I'm trying to do this.

[01:04:43] Like XFL was the same thing where you were like fuck this sounds like it could be really cool.

[01:04:48] And then 10 minutes in it's Jack Donaghy standing behind the monitor going shut it down.

[01:04:52] It's the thing where you think it's a good pitch and the second you watch it actually happen when all the money has been spent you're like I failed to recognize the fatal flaw.

[01:05:01] If all of the floor is trampolines no one can walk.

[01:05:06] Now it's not all the floor it's just courts.

[01:05:09] There are six total trampolines on the floor.

[01:05:12] But it's true that once they started being on the trampolines it's you know they lose a little bit of control of their bodies.

[01:05:18] They're jumping up in the air.

[01:05:20] But another reason why 2002 is like the perfect time for a roller ball read.

[01:05:25] It's this era where everyone's like it's been a while since there was a new sport and the future of sports is extreme.

[01:05:31] Extreme yeah.

[01:05:33] Were you an extreme sports guy in the early 2000s?

[01:05:36] I was an X Games viewer.

[01:05:37] I was a Tony Hawk player.

[01:05:41] Did you ever do any of that stuff yourself?

[01:05:43] Oh no no no.

[01:05:44] Same.

[01:05:45] Same.

[01:05:46] No no.

[01:05:47] I played so much Tony Hawk.

[01:05:48] I love my bones.

[01:05:50] You have great bones on you buddy.

[01:05:52] Destroy them.

[01:05:54] Okay in this opening scene I had a brief vision of so I did have this DVD.

[01:05:59] I have no memory of the movie from when I owned it.

[01:06:03] And sorry just to build off this because I should have asked this question earlier.

[01:06:07] You bought it rather than rented it because of the R rated thing which I fell prey to a bunch too.

[01:06:11] You're the right age you see there's an R rated cut of a movie.

[01:06:14] Unrated cut you go I'm probably gonna see boobs right?

[01:06:17] It was probably a grocery store you know like.

[01:06:20] Yeah.

[01:06:21] This is also an error I mean this is why DVDs exploded is like they went way down in price really quickly where suddenly it was worth it to just own 40 DVDs.

[01:06:31] But wait so you have no memory of.

[01:06:33] This is my follow up question.

[01:06:35] Did you watch it a lot or did you watch it one time and then go like I shouldn't have bought that put it on a shelf?

[01:06:40] I think I watched it once and just was like that wasn't my favorite.

[01:06:44] Yeah.

[01:06:45] You haven't seen it since then.

[01:06:47] No I have definitely not seen it since then.

[01:06:49] Wow.

[01:06:50] But in watching that opening scene I was like is this movie about to be good and also is this movie about to be fast and furious because I could see a version of this movie where you slow play it much more.

[01:07:04] You start with kind of a you know indie drama about this street long border.

[01:07:10] Slowly falls into this world.

[01:07:12] Then we're cooking with gas.

[01:07:14] Yes.

[01:07:15] But they really they went for like fast five but in the 20th minute of the first movie.

[01:07:22] I mean this is jumping way ahead.

[01:07:24] Oh no.

[01:07:26] Well we're going to ruin the really stiff midsection of the film.

[01:07:30] This was a movie that among other legal issues led to a lawsuit between studios because they tried to advertise it as from the filmmakers that brought you fast and the furious.

[01:07:41] After this movie was pushed back it ended up coming out the year after Fast and Furious even though it was supposed to come out.

[01:07:47] What made it connected to the Fast and Furious?

[01:07:49] John Cogue wrote Rollerball but only served as an executive producer on Fast and Furious in response to the ads Universal sued MGM and federal court calling for a restraining order that would remove the ads from circulation.

[01:08:03] Relax guys. Come on who cares.

[01:08:05] But they were so badly trying to make people think.

[01:08:08] It makes sense.

[01:08:10] They were trying to make people think that they were trying to make Milo separate from Fast and Furious but after Fast and Furious they're like this is the way people want the story told.

[01:08:16] Now this is my second trailer based lawsuit film.

[01:08:19] That covered.

[01:08:21] Covered on on BlankChat.

[01:08:23] And that's that case did finally settle.

[01:08:26] Yesterday.

[01:08:27] Since we've done the episode.

[01:08:29] I think so.

[01:08:30] I think the resolution was the judge was like go away.

[01:08:33] Get their justice.

[01:08:35] Because as I said I've always been very pro.

[01:08:38] The end of the arm.

[01:08:40] Of course you don't want them on your bad side.

[01:08:43] Those guys will sue you into oblivion.

[01:08:45] Quote a self inflicted injury.

[01:08:49] Judge dismisses lawsuit claiming yesterday trailer tricked on a Dorma's fence.

[01:08:54] A self inflicted injury.

[01:08:57] That's cold.

[01:08:58] He has thrown out the five million dollar lawsuit.

[01:09:00] Right.

[01:09:01] And now they tweet about him every day and they're going to like you know swat his house.

[01:09:04] Whatever.

[01:09:05] OK.

[01:09:06] We should also mention this film features Rebecca Romaine who coming off of X-Men where she played Mystique and had delivered one line.

[01:09:14] But is in my opinion good in X-Men.

[01:09:17] I agree.

[01:09:18] And is very good in X2 where they actually give her shit to do.

[01:09:21] I think she's great in both of those movies.

[01:09:23] I think she's better than Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique at least.

[01:09:26] I would agree with that.

[01:09:27] Like Jennifer Lawrence is fine as like hero.

[01:09:30] Well they just morph that character into such a weird thing in order to suit the fact that they had America's biggest movie star playing that role.

[01:09:37] Off of that she got Rollerball and Femme Fatale.

[01:09:40] Now Femme Fatale is actually an awesome movie and she's really good in it.

[01:09:43] But flopped really hard.

[01:09:45] Big flop.

[01:09:47] This film is not awesome and she's not as good in it I would say.

[01:09:49] Again a tough role.

[01:09:51] Tough role.

[01:09:53] In 2002 I like all four of these people right.

[01:09:57] Sure you mean including the John Renau.

[01:10:00] Yes.

[01:10:02] In 2002 I'm like I have seen all of these people in movies recently where I enjoyed them.

[01:10:06] I think that's also probably why I bought it.

[01:10:08] I was like I love LL Cool J.

[01:10:10] I like Rebecca Romaine's name.

[01:10:12] And then I just I remember being I think you were saying this David.

[01:10:15] I remember being very excited for this movie when it came out even though the buzz around it was so bad.

[01:10:20] I was excited too because I was like that's a can't miss.

[01:10:24] I was like even the junkiest version of this movie I will find entertaining.

[01:10:27] And I was also like you know what's a great title Rollerball.

[01:10:31] What's better than that.

[01:10:33] And I like all four of these people and other shit.

[01:10:35] I don't think I cared about that but I was just kind of like John McTiernan's remaking Rollerball.

[01:10:39] How bad could it be.

[01:10:41] And then the reviews were so toxic that I was like I shouldn't go.

[01:10:43] I actually you've talked me out of it.

[01:10:45] So I probably was into this cast on paper.

[01:10:48] You take half a step back and you're like those four people in the same movie is not going to work.

[01:10:53] That's a bad combination.

[01:10:54] Let me now read from the dossier for a little bit about the production of the film.

[01:10:58] OK. Number one call.

[01:11:00] McTiernan McTiernan's first thing as it's coming out is he says the film is decapitated.

[01:11:05] The third act was supposed to be Spartacus.

[01:11:07] They didn't let me shoot. They didn't let me shoot the big battle.

[01:11:10] Because you know at the end of the film the uprising in this film is basically just like he roller skates into John Reno's office and shoots him.

[01:11:16] Right. The end.

[01:11:18] They chant which just encourages him to do it by himself.

[01:11:21] It doesn't really feel like it because in the original film that's what happens.

[01:11:26] Like the whole point is that the powers that be are like James Cohn's getting too famous.

[01:11:32] He will be able to control the audience.

[01:11:34] Right. We got to take him out.

[01:11:36] McTiernan in twenty twenty three Griffin.

[01:11:38] So still doing interviews about this movie says like Ford versus Ferrari.

[01:11:43] Right. That's a movie.

[01:11:45] That's what I wanted to do.

[01:11:46] A movie. You know a movie that's about racing but it's really about business and about the movie business.

[01:11:52] Right. And like we talked about this in our Ferrari episode but like that that movie is this incredibly durable metaphor for like being a filmmaker in the studio system trying to make above average entertainment where what's the line here.

[01:12:06] He says a film director is like the racing driver.

[01:12:08] He isn't the one who makes the engine work or makes the car go fast.

[01:12:12] It's a whole team of other people but somewhere in there you need this madman who will try to control the whole machine.

[01:12:17] It's something they say in the movie several times every now and then the driver just doesn't make it out.

[01:12:21] You wish he could.

[01:12:23] I'm pro a movie like that.

[01:12:25] That's not present in this film.

[01:12:27] Would you agree?

[01:12:28] I would agree.

[01:12:29] But every now and then the baller doesn't make it out.

[01:12:33] But like you could apply that.

[01:12:34] Zach has already identified the extent to which that's in that film which is there's a screen that has a number on it.

[01:12:39] Up or down.

[01:12:40] That's the only way this film weighs in on that.

[01:12:43] Chris Klein roller balls into Jean Reno's face.

[01:12:46] And Navina Andrews' face.

[01:12:49] Yes.

[01:12:51] To jump to outcome stuff before we get into the plot of the film as it were.

[01:12:55] We said you know Harry Knowles reads the script is like thumbs up.

[01:12:59] This is fucking good. I'm excited.

[01:13:01] He's also like it's McTiernan.

[01:13:02] Yeah.

[01:13:04] With this script in McTiernan this should work right.

[01:13:07] They fly Harry Knowles out to a test screening.

[01:13:10] This is the era where the studios are trying to court him.

[01:13:13] Knowing that like if he doesn't like it he's going to write about it.

[01:13:18] But the other thing in this era is like Sony flies him out for the Godzilla premiere at Mass in Square Garden.

[01:13:25] And he's like this movie rules.

[01:13:27] It was the best night of my life.

[01:13:29] This thing's a triumph.

[01:13:30] The audience was losing their minds.

[01:13:32] They fly him out.

[01:13:34] People dislike it.

[01:13:36] A week or two later he goes pays to go see it at a mall writes a second review and is like I was wrong.

[01:13:42] The studio kind of like buttered me up.

[01:13:44] They got me in the spirit of the thing.

[01:13:46] I was swayed.

[01:13:48] So Harry Knowles is already in this zone where the studios are like we might be able to curry favor with him enough that he'll give us an easy pass on anything.

[01:13:55] And his audience is starting to question his reliability.

[01:13:59] They fly him out.

[01:14:00] They're like I think he's going to get treatment.

[01:14:02] I think they put him up at a nice hotel.

[01:14:04] He writes about all the shit in his piece because he's a great journalist.

[01:14:07] And then he's like this movie sucks so fucking hard.

[01:14:10] I sat next to McTiernan and everyone was nice to me.

[01:14:13] They paid my travel.

[01:14:15] This thing is dog shit.

[01:14:17] This movie has two good things going for it.

[01:14:19] It has tits and blood.

[01:14:21] Everything else in it is a fucking disaster.

[01:14:23] And MGM's response is we should cut the tits and the blood out.

[01:14:26] He's just doomed this movie with his negative review.

[01:14:28] We should get a PG-13 so it at least can appeal to younger children.

[01:14:31] So they immediately cut it.

[01:14:33] And then you could say like this review doesn't even apply anymore.

[01:14:35] Yes.

[01:14:37] And then we can sell the R-rated DVD to Zach at a supermarket a year from now and make the money back.

[01:14:42] He called it the worst conceived series of nonsensical action I've ever seen.

[01:14:45] McTiernan, it is so funny to imagine McTiernan, this like grizzled grumpy Juilliard graduate sitting next to fucking Harry Knowles like at the height of his little nerd king.

[01:14:55] You know like you like being like the ring.

[01:14:57] What do you think?

[01:14:59] And Knowles is like, you know, like what a weird moment in pop culture.

[01:15:03] Now internally.

[01:15:05] To be clear, Harry Knowles is like a bad dude.

[01:15:07] Like yes, much has been written about degenerate.

[01:15:11] Yes.

[01:15:12] With bad taste.

[01:15:14] That's also a bad writer.

[01:15:16] But this is because he's so in the crosshairs and this is also I think around this time Revolution Studios announces like a three picture development deal with Harry Knowles.

[01:15:25] That was the first time a studio was like, well why don't we let you consult on other films?

[01:15:30] Why don't we let you develop your own projects?

[01:15:32] Because you seem to know what Hollywood should be doing.

[01:15:34] And the thought was, oh they're paying him and now he's not going to give any Revolution movie a bad review.

[01:15:39] So his like honesty is very much in question.

[01:15:42] And when he attacks this movie, McTiernan, the studio all say like he's doing this just to prove that he can't be bought.

[01:15:50] He doesn't actually hate it.

[01:15:52] We think this movie is good.

[01:15:53] They tried to do the double negative.

[01:15:55] You know, you made a shitty movie.

[01:15:57] The other sign obviously apart from the fact that yes they recut it to get a PG-13.

[01:16:01] They delayed the release.

[01:16:03] All this stuff is that there was this issue and we can discuss this more on our basic episode as well that McTiernan hired private investigator Anthony Pellicano to conduct an illegal wiretap on the producer of the film.

[01:16:17] So that's definitely a side of like behind the scenes drama.

[01:16:21] There's a little bit of an interesting narrative.

[01:16:22] One could argue more interesting than the film itself where he was convinced that the big corporate powers of the entertainment industry were trying to ruin his movie.

[01:16:32] But I think you have to factor that in when you watch.

[01:16:34] That's the meta movie.

[01:16:36] It is.

[01:16:37] When you watch the movie, you know, he was just on theme about corporate power.

[01:16:40] We've got to get inside every fucking tunnel.

[01:16:43] They're all they're they're trying to mess with me.

[01:16:46] The numbers go up and down.

[01:16:48] This is the movie that happened on.

[01:16:49] It's so crazy.

[01:16:51] I mean, we there's this big conversation between Pellicano McTiernan that is what brings McTiernan down.

[01:16:59] Correct? Like there's some wiretap.

[01:17:01] There's like a 20 minute phone call that I believe they played in its entirety in court.

[01:17:05] By the way, we're doing an entire Patreon episode on Pellicano.

[01:17:08] We're doing an episode on Sin Eater, the crimes of Anthony Pellicano.

[01:17:12] The documentary and that will be the episode because we're obviously touching upon it here.

[01:17:15] We'll touch upon it on basic.

[01:17:17] It's too big a story to fit into episodes on the movies themselves, especially when we have to talk about rollerball.

[01:17:23] We have to talk about rollerball.

[01:17:25] So you got to go into enemy territory, then up through the tunnel.

[01:17:30] Yeah. Then down.

[01:17:32] Yeah. Then around again.

[01:17:34] And then you throw the ball into the gong thing.

[01:17:36] And I remember he specifically says you have to throw it hard enough that it sets off the pirate.

[01:17:40] I got to make sparks.

[01:17:41] Never an issue.

[01:17:43] Then no one ever just lightly touches it and doesn't score.

[01:17:46] You can't just go like, you got to go, whoa.

[01:17:49] We wouldn't know if you could.

[01:17:51] The hard cut from LL Cool J going come on man, do a little rollerball and Chris Klein going fine to Kazakhstan, Chris Klein in the ring.

[01:17:59] I don't know if he's been playing for five years, if this is his third game, but he seems to already be a superstar.

[01:18:06] The thing is huge.

[01:18:08] About 40 minutes later he's called the most famous rollerballer ever.

[01:18:11] They try to immediately set up this long standing rivalry he has with evil Scarface lady.

[01:18:18] Everyone thinks they hate each other.

[01:18:20] I'm not getting any of this, but within the first game you see him play, his friend, what's his friend's name again?

[01:18:29] Toba.

[01:18:31] His friend's helmet comes off and while he's scrambling looking for his helmet trying to get it back on, he's like fucking merked.

[01:18:38] He gets, he gets a ball to that dome.

[01:18:41] Basically, why was Toba on the team?

[01:18:44] Toba seems bad at rollerball.

[01:18:47] We are already in trouble here.

[01:18:49] I feel like I know, like I don't even know what people's positions are.

[01:18:52] The only positions are like roller skates or motorcycle, right?

[01:18:56] Like if you know a little bit about roller derby, there's, you know, yes, exactly.

[01:19:02] So I think he's playing that type of position like he couldn't barely skate.

[01:19:06] That is the problem with Toba.

[01:19:08] Yeah.

[01:19:10] As soon as his helmet came off, he started doing almost like, you know, in like paid ads where someone shows that you can't use a thing.

[01:19:21] Yes.

[01:19:23] It was like he was paid to prove that roller skating is impossible.

[01:19:25] Is this you?

[01:19:27] Exactly.

[01:19:29] He's trying to make orange shoes and he's covered in orange shoes.

[01:19:31] Let's be generous here.

[01:19:33] Toba is I think fine athlete.

[01:19:34] He just has one Achilles heel, which is being terrible at rollerball.

[01:19:38] It's his only problem.

[01:19:40] It's like when there's the NBA draft and they're like this guy has got the whole package.

[01:19:43] Can't dribble.

[01:19:45] He can't dribble?

[01:19:47] Is someone going to teach him?

[01:19:49] He's got height.

[01:19:51] He's got, you know, explosiveness.

[01:19:53] Can't dribble, can't shoot.

[01:19:55] Has not heard of basketball.

[01:19:57] He's a bruiser.

[01:19:59] He's got all the tools.

[01:20:01] I guess that's Toba.

[01:20:02] The only thing we see him do is lose a fight.

[01:20:04] Yes, true.

[01:20:06] He gets sucker smacked.

[01:20:08] But like the object of the game is to throw the ball at the gong.

[01:20:12] Yes.

[01:20:14] You have to get the ball through the tuba, but there are two tubas.

[01:20:16] No, you have to go through that to be like in scoring mode.

[01:20:21] Okay.

[01:20:23] If that makes sense.

[01:20:25] That's like the Super Mario star that makes you powerful enough to score.

[01:20:27] Right. I don't know how anyone keeps track of that on like television.

[01:20:30] Yeah.

[01:20:32] I mean, the jammer has a star on their helmet.

[01:20:35] And so you're like, that's the jammer.

[01:20:37] I get it.

[01:20:39] Like that's the one.

[01:20:41] But in this is chaos.

[01:20:43] Like, and they also like, they kind of have uniforms, but they're all basically just like in black leather and red plastic.

[01:20:47] These sequences are incoherent visually.

[01:20:50] Which I love.

[01:20:52] I kind of love too.

[01:20:54] I'm not kidding.

[01:20:56] I love.

[01:20:58] No, seriously, some of the characters are incredible.

[01:20:59] I used to have some sort of masked costume characters.

[01:21:02] Yeah, like a person and, and once he said the rules are in Russian, we're not going to get into it.

[01:21:08] I was like, oh, okay.

[01:21:10] So I'm not supposed to understand this.

[01:21:12] I'm just like, cool motorcycles.

[01:21:14] And there was one point where someone picked up their friend and used them to knock a guy off a motorcycle.

[01:21:19] That stuff I was into.

[01:21:21] If I were an extra, a background actor on the production of Rollerball.

[01:21:26] And I was playing an audience member in the stands of the Rollerball arena.

[01:21:32] And I was watching all of this play out.

[01:21:34] I think I would be entertained.

[01:21:36] I'm not even saying in the world of the movie.

[01:21:38] I'm saying if I were watching these stunt performers do these routines from my own view.

[01:21:43] Sure.

[01:21:45] I think I would be entertained.

[01:21:47] When I try to argue for the strength of John McTiernan at his best at a filmmaker, what made him such a transcendent action filmmaker.

[01:21:53] I feel like the two things that everyone goes to are unbelievable sense of visual geography.

[01:21:59] Yeah, like his action sequences are so coherent.

[01:22:02] And incredible juggling of ensemble cast, right?

[01:22:05] Where you have like Predator in the jungle and you're constantly keeping track of where everyone is in relation to every tree.

[01:22:11] Or Die Hard which is dealing with multiple floors of a building.

[01:22:14] Right.

[01:22:16] And the circuses of people outside on the street and the cops and the helicopter.

[01:22:19] You constantly know where everyone is.

[01:22:21] You're constantly keeping track of what everyone's doing and then you're just like on paper.

[01:22:26] Yes, John McTiernan doing rollerball sequences should be unbelievable.

[01:22:30] This is the 75 Rollerball arena.

[01:22:32] It almost all plays out in master shot.

[01:22:34] That looks good.

[01:22:36] To be clear, it's a circle.

[01:22:38] It looks like a roller derby.

[01:22:40] And here is the fucking Rollerball court in 2002.

[01:22:43] But like Zach, I agree with you.

[01:22:45] We're like, I like the WWE being like funneled into this.

[01:22:49] I like the costumes.

[01:22:51] I like the personas.

[01:22:53] I like the music.

[01:22:55] I wanted more of like who are the costume guys?

[01:22:57] I literally would have enjoyed a two hour feed of a rollerball game.

[01:23:01] I would rather watch that.

[01:23:03] You're sitting next to Jean Reno.

[01:23:05] Yes.

[01:23:07] He can occasionally basically tell you some stuff.

[01:23:08] I think that's when I started to be like, huh?

[01:23:10] Beyond me not understanding the rules of the game in the universe of the movie,

[01:23:16] I think the way this is shot and edited, I cannot figure out what is happening in any single frame of this.

[01:23:21] Oh yeah.

[01:23:23] It does not at any point seem like the teammates are working together.

[01:23:26] They're all sort of, Cool J's just on a motorcycle.

[01:23:31] Right. It's like Chris Klein gets the ball, throws it at the thing.

[01:23:33] But yeah, I don't see how anyone's helping him really.

[01:23:35] No.

[01:23:36] I don't see how the motorcycles are riding around each other and not crashing into each other.

[01:23:41] It's such a tiny little ring.

[01:23:43] It's very small.

[01:23:45] But both movies also have the plot twist of like, and now they're like no rules and the referee.

[01:23:52] And I'm like, there were rules before?

[01:23:54] There was a ref?

[01:23:56] They sort of undercut that moment by having no coherent rules to begin with.

[01:24:00] Now it's anything goes.

[01:24:02] It seemed to be anything goes from minute zero in this movie.

[01:24:04] How is this movie spatially incoherent when it mostly takes place in a circle?

[01:24:08] In a small circle.

[01:24:11] Well, that's the beauty of the ball.

[01:24:13] You know what?

[01:24:15] That's the beauty of the ball.

[01:24:17] You got to get your ass to Kazakhstan.

[01:24:19] You haven't seen roller ball until you've been there.

[01:24:21] You've been there with like a shift from the mines.

[01:24:24] Right. Some kind of like aluminum tycoon is next to you lighting cigars with a hundred dollar bill.

[01:24:29] The food hall is great. They got a fuku.

[01:24:30] Yeah. Right.

[01:24:32] That's the other thing. They really upgraded on that front.

[01:24:35] They got a shake. They have a shake shack.

[01:24:37] The film is these four people we mentioned with Jean Reno obviously is the evil boss villain.

[01:24:43] Yeah.

[01:24:45] Navin Andrews coming off of the English patient and such is his like smarmy assistant.

[01:24:51] I think Navin's got a little juice in this.

[01:24:53] I'm always in favor of him.

[01:24:55] He's a great actor.

[01:24:56] I'm watching this movie take down people I usually find entertaining left and right.

[01:25:00] And Navin every time he comes on screen, I'm like, I'm watching a vaguely legitimate movie for these 15 seconds.

[01:25:06] He has a clear like type to play.

[01:25:09] Yeah.

[01:25:11] He is playing his role so well it is not complicated.

[01:25:14] But at the end when he gives his like, well you don't attack the head.

[01:25:17] You always have to attack the head.

[01:25:19] I'm like, yeah, this is like the shitty version of this movie I wanted to see when I was 13.

[01:25:22] Sure.

[01:25:23] And he will weasely aid the green worm tongue to Jean Reno's Jacques Le Business Man or whatever his name is.

[01:25:31] Everyone else in the film is basically like a stunt man, a you know, Hungarian kickboxer.

[01:25:38] There's Andrew Brynjarski.

[01:25:41] Oh.

[01:25:43] Is one of the big dudes who of course played Leatherface and in the Texas Chainsaw remakes and Zangief in the Street Fighter, the original Street Fighter.

[01:25:50] Of course is the man who said cancer is worse than haters.

[01:25:54] Suck my nuts.

[01:25:56] We litigated this in the higher learning episode.

[01:25:59] He got in a feud with the original Leatherface kind of hard.

[01:26:03] Over whether cancer was worse than haters or not?

[01:26:06] I guess it was, oh sorry, it was when Gunnar Hansen, the original Leatherface died of cancer.

[01:26:11] Right.

[01:26:13] He said boo.

[01:26:15] Okay.

[01:26:16] And he was like, could give zero fucks suck his dead nuts.

[01:26:21] Okay.

[01:26:23] He was mad because they had feuded.

[01:26:26] I believe the background was that he was still taking pot shots at Gunnar Nelson after he died.

[01:26:32] And then earlier I said, I agree.

[01:26:35] I didn't.

[01:26:37] I think his defense was why are you getting mad at me?

[01:26:39] Cancer is worse than haters.

[01:26:41] Okay.

[01:26:42] He was the ultimate figure.

[01:26:44] He was maybe right on that front, but he was maybe wrong.

[01:26:46] And then you do have Paul Heyman who I feel is a well-known WWE figure.

[01:26:51] One of the most beloved managers in the history.

[01:26:54] And probably the best cast role in the film.

[01:26:57] They did right there.

[01:27:00] And that's an important job.

[01:27:02] Yeah.

[01:27:04] He maybe has the most dialogue of anyone in the movie.

[01:27:06] Now could he have done a better job explaining what was going on?

[01:27:09] Maybe.

[01:27:10] I don't know.

[01:27:12] Not on the performer.

[01:27:14] Yeah.

[01:27:16] You've also got Janet Wright, who's a British actress as coach Olga, who's ever present in the film.

[01:27:19] I never really even knew if she was Chris Klein coach or not.

[01:27:22] Couldn't figure it out.

[01:27:24] She's always there.

[01:27:26] Yes.

[01:27:28] Going like a couple kind of vocalization.

[01:27:30] A lot of that.

[01:27:32] Now we haven't talked about so they do roll a ball for a bit and then they start to realize like, huh?

[01:27:37] Some of these accidents seem to be staged or whatever.

[01:27:38] I kept turning to my wife and saying, I think something's afoot.

[01:27:41] Because there were so many.

[01:27:44] No.

[01:27:46] Okay.

[01:27:47] She was into it.

[01:27:49] And for the first 30 minutes we were both like, this is kind of fun.

[01:27:51] Right.

[01:27:53] And we had looked it up and been like, oh, this is like one of the worst reviewed movies ever.

[01:27:55] And we were both like, I don't know.

[01:27:57] We're enjoying it.

[01:27:59] And then she did not finish it.

[01:28:01] My wife was begging me to watch Rollerball.

[01:28:03] I didn't even want to watch it.

[01:28:05] She signed up.

[01:28:06] I think Rebecca remains character is almost killed.

[01:28:09] Sure.

[01:28:11] To go to both.

[01:28:13] Are you backtracking?

[01:28:15] We're forward tracking because they were they fucking review the tape and they realized the cameras were already in place.

[01:28:19] Someone cut his strap on his helmet.

[01:28:21] The death was orchestrated to boost the ratings to make it go from a 20 to a 20.

[01:28:26] Do we know he dies or at least wheeled off in a bloody mess?

[01:28:30] Not with them for the rest of the season.

[01:28:32] It doesn't come back.

[01:28:34] I feel great.

[01:28:36] I need to flee the country.

[01:28:38] The sequence plays out in night vision.

[01:28:41] This is one of the more baffling sections of.

[01:28:43] I'll call Jay's like, I know I staked our friendship on you coming and playing Rollerball with me, but we got to stop playing Rollerball right now.

[01:28:50] So I was not prepared.

[01:28:52] I had not seen this film.

[01:28:54] Should I switch the lights off for this part of the podcast?

[01:28:56] Let's do night vision record.

[01:28:58] Let's also say that at this point, we've also had Chris Klein goes into you see like a very kind of starship troopers Robocop for Hoven ask, oh, the men and women share a

[01:29:05] locker rooms and there's casual nudity, right?

[01:29:08] As we're saying in this R rated version of starship troopers vibe.

[01:29:11] And then he goes into like the back room where fucking Rebecca Romaine is pumping iron shirtless.

[01:29:18] Sure. We're just talking about the boobs.

[01:29:20] Okay. Yes.

[01:29:21] Five minutes for boobs.

[01:29:23] Tried to set up that they're like rivals within the league.

[01:29:25] And then he comes up behind her.

[01:29:27] They immediately start doing it in a steam room.

[01:29:29] I do do it in a steam room.

[01:29:31] And he's like, you got to get me to a bed sometime.

[01:29:32] She's like all in good time.

[01:29:34] I'm French setting up a great payoff later.

[01:29:37] And they also earlier they set up another character on the team was like, hey, I want to hook up with her.

[01:29:42] And Chris Klein was like, I think she's playing for the other team.

[01:29:45] Right. Because they're hiding their relationship for some reason.

[01:29:50] There's also a kind of rivals because there's storied rivals that in the great sport of roller ball.

[01:29:56] There's like a Broadway Phantom of the Opera thing where she's like, I'm so disgusting.

[01:29:59] Oh, well, because she has a scar on her face.

[01:30:03] And this is also there in the press.

[01:30:05] Yes. They love to do this.

[01:30:07] Or McTiernan's like, yeah, I gave her a scar and Rebecca, like she really reacted to how she was treated differently.

[01:30:13] I got this beautiful woman.

[01:30:15] So she has a scar. People are throwing eggs at her on the street or whatever.

[01:30:18] You never see it because she's always wearing a helmet.

[01:30:21] Right. It's like the fucking Broadway Phantom where it's like she's got one scar that looks cool as hell.

[01:30:26] And he's like, I noticed the way you always tilt your head to the right.

[01:30:31] You're ashamed to be seen.

[01:30:33] Yes. But no, he was like, she didn't want to hide her looks.

[01:30:39] And I was insistent that we put a scar on her because I had to transform her as an actress.

[01:30:44] I had to get that bikini beach bunny out of her system.

[01:30:48] He wants to credit himself for like this transformative performance where he unlocked an actor that no one saw there when she had been good and stuff up until now.

[01:30:56] But let's also acknowledge Austin Powers toot by her shaggy, which she plays herself.

[01:31:00] She does play herself.

[01:31:02] A woman who Austin does not want to have sex with.

[01:31:04] Well, he's too busy with Ivana Humphrey lot in that scene.

[01:31:07] But then yeah, he was like, she liked the scar so much she would wear it out to the clubs at night.

[01:31:13] So they fuck and she's ashamed by how she looks.

[01:31:16] And then you know, she said that they have their thing.

[01:31:20] Ella Coljic comes to him says, you got to help me escape tonight.

[01:31:22] Now, sorry, not to backtrack, but there's one other thing we've missed.

[01:31:26] For some reason, there is about five to ten references to whether or not Chris Klein is wearing his spine protector, which I believe is...

[01:31:36] That came up a few times.

[01:31:38] Ella Coljic keeps being like, you need to wear that.

[01:31:40] There are motorcycles on the arena floor.

[01:31:43] And he says they can't hurt me if they can't catch me.

[01:31:47] But then he does wear it.

[01:31:48] He does wear it.

[01:31:50] But then I don't know.

[01:31:52] But I think spine protector is maybe the only sci-fi element of the building.

[01:31:55] It basically looks like, you know, whatever, like a giant shin guard.

[01:32:00] You know, like he's kind of like loosely strapped into his back or whatever.

[01:32:03] But it protects the spine.

[01:32:05] You know, you've got to protect your spine.

[01:32:07] And then I don't think it really is ever relevant whether he's wearing it or not.

[01:32:12] No, this is a classic movie that sets up things where you're like, oh, wow, they're really telegraphing that hard.

[01:32:16] And then you're like, oh no, they weren't.

[01:32:18] Right. There's no moment where he is like Tim Riggins or not Tim Riggins.

[01:32:22] Who's the guy? Jason Street.

[01:32:24] Yeah, there's no moment where he's like, damn, I wish I had spine protector.

[01:32:29] No, it never really factors.

[01:32:31] One thing pays off beautifully, which is that eventually Roe Hecker will remain a sense to bringing Chris Klein to a bed.

[01:32:36] Yes. And that's the moment of the movie where McJarren is...

[01:32:40] Freeze frame.

[01:32:42] McJarren is staring at Harry Knowles being like, why aren't you whooping and cheering at the bed line?

[01:32:44] I assume.

[01:32:46] Look, the night vision sequence.

[01:32:48] I had at this point begun to disassociate.

[01:32:52] Yes. This is where I started to fully check out.

[01:32:55] And then this sequence plays out now on Wikipedia.

[01:32:58] A citation needed paragraph says that truly they had just underlit this scene and then didn't have like the time to reshoot it because it's a big complicated action sequence.

[01:33:09] So instead they were like, let's throw a night vision tint on it.

[01:33:12] I don't think that's true.

[01:33:14] I don't think it is either because that sounds fucking ridiculous.

[01:33:18] It feels like a choice, but also...

[01:33:20] It feels like a choice.

[01:33:22] The camera placement in this sequence, it's like they are dashboards.

[01:33:25] It's like a mounted camera.

[01:33:27] Right. Like it's not just that it's in night vision. It is filmed as if it's like stolen footage.

[01:33:31] I will say this. I think it's the one thing in the movie that is interesting and somewhat audacious.

[01:33:37] You gave this movie half a star on letterbox?

[01:33:39] I gave it one and a half stars.

[01:33:40] I gave it half and your log was...

[01:33:42] I said I gave an extra star for the night vision.

[01:33:44] Wow.

[01:33:46] I give it one star for night vision. I think this is a half star movie without the night vision.

[01:33:50] I'm taking a star away for the night vision sequence.

[01:33:52] But you were starting at five, right?

[01:33:54] You're only down to four and a half.

[01:33:56] You want to talk about a scene where I couldn't understand what was happening.

[01:33:59] So that's my note. You don't know what's happening.

[01:34:03] LL Cool J dies in this sequence.

[01:34:06] I did not really realize.

[01:34:07] Exactly. You only... It's depicted from a distance.

[01:34:10] It's like my mom watching Force Awakens where I'm like he's just really not in the second half of this movie.

[01:34:15] His mom famously went to the bathroom when Kylo Ren killed Han Solo.

[01:34:18] And then she was like it's weird that they just don't have Harrison Ford do anything in the last four or three minutes.

[01:34:22] She just thought they were keeping him on the bed.

[01:34:25] He's not even in the final scene when everyone's saying goodbye.

[01:34:28] And also what was that weird emotional hug that Leia did?

[01:34:31] Anyway, it's not defensible in terms of making a commercial film that makes sense to people.

[01:34:37] It is just unusual.

[01:34:40] Yes, I agree.

[01:34:42] And so I was kind of like, like you said, this is a choice.

[01:34:45] That's my thing. I'm like none of the action sequences are visually coherent.

[01:34:49] This one feels almost intentionally abstract.

[01:34:52] It has the most... It actually has the most appropriate feeling of like we are in a sort of semi-lawless state.

[01:35:00] Like forgetting the whole did John McTernan even Google Kazakhstan before he made this movie?

[01:35:07] At least you're kind of like damn, like it really does feel like they're being smuggled out of somewhere weird.

[01:35:13] Is that movie series seven The Contenders?

[01:35:16] Yeah, of course.

[01:35:18] Right where it's like a brutal sort of like to the death reality show and it's filmed as if it's like kind of hidden cameras.

[01:35:23] Yes, it's like a DV early Big Brother style.

[01:35:26] Right. It's like weirdly this is the one sequence, action sequence in the movie that is not supposed to be televised.

[01:35:32] And yet it's filmed as if it's like stolen from multi-camera setup.

[01:35:36] To televised. But yeah, there's...

[01:35:39] But LL Cool J does die in this sequence and no one ever really acknowledges it or even seems that upset about it.

[01:35:44] No, and once again I'm like at this point the movie I'm like the reveal is going to be that LL Cool J is in on it and he set up Chris Klein because they also start saying like there's a John Munoz has some line at the beginning.

[01:35:55] And this is sort of why McTernan wanted to cast a Chris Klein type is he's in the boardroom with all the other fat cats and they're like this guy's good.

[01:36:03] And they're like he has no idea how angry we're supposed we're about to make him or something like that.

[01:36:09] Like John Munoz into the arc of corrupting this like goody two shoes and all American boy, right?

[01:36:15] But he's like we're going to break him and make him violent.

[01:36:18] There was something interesting to the sort of American obliviousness.

[01:36:22] Like you could have gotten into that in the movie of like these two Americans show up and they're just like yeah this is pretty sweet.

[01:36:28] Like we know.

[01:36:29] It's almost like a hostile type thing going on there.

[01:36:32] But yes it feels like especially for how magically LL Cool J just appears pulls him into a car and says hey join me over in Kazakhstan.

[01:36:41] You're like is LL Cool J getting money to like recruit other people?

[01:36:45] Right.

[01:36:46] There at least be some reveal of like yeah he got a fat bonus because he brought over Chris Klein.

[01:36:51] Instead it's just like he seems to just genuinely think like this is a great professional opportunity.

[01:36:55] And then on a dime one day he's like I need to get out now.

[01:37:01] Bill Simmons the famed podcast mogul back in the day was just a sports columnist.

[01:37:07] Rollerball is one of his favorite movies.

[01:37:09] The original not this one.

[01:37:11] And he wrote a column about this film and of the night vision sequence he said one of the strangest experience I've ever endured in a movie theater.

[01:37:17] I would say that everyone in the theater was glancing around trying to figure out what was happening but I was only one of three people.

[01:37:23] His other incredible line.

[01:37:25] Which is a good line.

[01:37:27] The other line is really funny.

[01:37:29] Is Hollywood really this dumb?

[01:37:31] That's what I kept asking myself Monday as I struggled to remain conscious during a screening of the reprehensible rollerball.

[01:37:36] Just so you know the previous sentence took nearly 20 minutes to write.

[01:37:39] I wanted to be absolutely certain that reprehensible was the best possible adjective.

[01:37:43] This is back when Simmons was in his bag back then.

[01:37:45] So I hunted down my thesaurus buried under a phallus of magazines and pictures and searched for the perfect word to describe one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

[01:37:52] I found it dreadful, appalling, putrid, atrocious, heinous, excruciating, odious, abominable, rancid, horrific, ghastly.

[01:37:59] None of them fit and then I found it reprehensible.

[01:38:02] Perfect. This movie was reprehensible.

[01:38:05] The other one I want to read is Roger Ebert's 0.5 star review.

[01:38:10] That's why I thought you gave it a 0.5.

[01:38:12] No no no I gave it a 1.5.

[01:38:14] He said someday this film may inspire a long thoughtful book by John Wright its editor.

[01:38:19] My guess is that something went dreadfully wrong early in the production.

[01:38:23] Maybe dysentery or mass hypnosis.

[01:38:26] Mass hypnosis.

[01:38:28] And the director John McTiernan, die hard, a case of making someone's credit almost feel like an insult.

[01:38:35] John McTiernan, parentheses die hard, was unable to supply Wright with the shots he needed to make sense of the story.

[01:38:41] And then this is the real money.

[01:38:42] I saw a Russian documentary once where half of the shots were blurred and overexposed because the KGB attacked the negative with x-rays.

[01:38:50] Maybe this movie was put through an MRI scan.

[01:38:53] Curiously, the signifiers have survived but not the signified.

[01:38:58] We gotta bring this back man.

[01:39:00] We gotta get meat on the internet again.

[01:39:02] We gotta revive Roger Ebert.

[01:39:04] You got a byline? Start throwing fucking haymakers.

[01:39:07] I should just go to my editors being like, I need to take roller ball to the cleaners.

[01:39:12] It's been too long.

[01:39:14] It's been 22 years old, but I'm ready.

[01:39:16] If you pitched to your editors, I want to write a looking back 22 years later, roller ball stinks.

[01:39:24] Look, the 22 year anniversary is in about three weeks.

[01:39:28] Look, it's coming up.

[01:39:30] So it might be time.

[01:39:31] Anyway, yeah, LL Cool J gets wasted, you know, from, you know, two miles away.

[01:39:37] We watch on a surveillance camera and Chris Klein finally starts to get wise that perhaps dragged back.

[01:39:42] The company wants people to get injured playing roller ball.

[01:39:45] Something's up with that number too that goes up or down.

[01:39:48] Should we check in with it?

[01:39:50] Something's afoot.

[01:39:52] If you're paying attention.

[01:39:54] Look, I watch a classic game of roller ball and I think normal.

[01:39:58] Yeah. Oh yeah.

[01:39:59] Me and six of my friends.

[01:40:01] The closer I watch, the more I think about roller ball.

[01:40:05] I do think there's something a little askew there.

[01:40:08] As a viewer of roller ball, I'm starting to wonder if the reason I watched the show is because I have an unquenchable thirst for blood.

[01:40:16] Now see, I'm a purist. I like the sport as it is, but once violence happens, I call my buddy.

[01:40:21] Because they need to know, you know?

[01:40:25] Right. You like it for the tactics.

[01:40:26] I'm in for the tunnel and the ball and you know, but once blood is shed, then it becomes a social activity.

[01:40:33] Oh yeah. I'm like everybody get over here.

[01:40:35] First turn on your TV so the global ratings number goes up.

[01:40:39] We gotta get it up.

[01:40:41] It's so funny that there's not even like a little M next to the 20.

[01:40:44] Yeah, we don't know what units that's in.

[01:40:48] Is that a share?

[01:40:49] Is that Nielsen? Nielsen puts one of those on every show's set.

[01:40:55] You know, when they were doing Frasier back then, you know, and then Frasier would like say Sherry Niles, the number would go up.

[01:41:01] Right. They'd be like, yeah, good.

[01:41:03] I actually this makes I have a logistical question about obviously Chris Klein isn't in on it, but many of the players have to be because they get a signal from the evil guys of like time to do violence.

[01:41:15] If it's a player who say until recently was toiling in a mine, that guy might be in on it.

[01:41:21] I'm just wondering how much like how deep does this?

[01:41:24] Yeah. Is it 80% of the players know that we're doing WWE?

[01:41:27] I'm going to give you at least 75%.

[01:41:29] It's like mostly the Americans and like the high profile.

[01:41:31] There is this feeling where it's like this movie part of him one just said a present day in a less developed country quote unquote.

[01:41:40] Right. Is the idea of making this like analogous to like sex trafficking or something where you're like, well in a desperate culture, people get sucked into a field with no better prospects.

[01:41:51] You know, is that line in the club early on where his big Chris Klein's big teammate is like, you make way more than me.

[01:41:59] Right. Yeah.

[01:42:01] And if these two Americans are actually being paid well and promoted as the faces of the sport, everyone else is basically in like what indentured servitude.

[01:42:07] Right. They're being paid where with what money and where do they spend it?

[01:42:13] There's the scene that almost sticks out feels jarring because you're like, whoa, this is almost like a commentary on something where Chris Klein is like speeding in his sports car.

[01:42:22] And he is like weird no one else on the highways and his assistant is like, yeah, well no one else in this country can afford cars.

[01:42:29] And you're like, oh, there's almost something here to like being big fish in a small pond.

[01:42:35] But the pond is like a third world nation and you're the only person getting to live a luxury life.

[01:42:40] You're part of the reason why the pond is is fucked up.

[01:42:44] Which like you talking about like fucking like, you know, these these like Middle Eastern like rulers investing money into like giant American businesses while they're like citizens, you know, starve and this weird golf between like crazy skyscraper development and like slums.

[01:43:02] Yeah, this could have been a very interesting movie.

[01:43:04] All that stuff is weirdly there.

[01:43:06] I looked up Kazakhstan and their favorite sport is actually soccer.

[01:43:10] Not roller ball.

[01:43:11] Their second favorite sport is hockey.

[01:43:13] Okay, yeah, they would like Jonathan.

[01:43:19] Their third favorite sport is boxing.

[01:43:21] Okay, a little closer to roller ball, but that's actually popular globally.

[01:43:25] Now something I have brought up on the podcast before is of course the World Nomad Games.

[01:43:30] I'm not familiar.

[01:43:32] It's been around since 2014.

[01:43:35] By Captain America when he had given up.

[01:43:36] It of course it grows up here takes place in Central Asia.

[01:43:43] Kazakhstan being Kazakhstan being one of the countries included.

[01:43:48] Some of the sports include horseback wrestling.

[01:43:51] Okay, that is cool.

[01:43:53] Belt wrestling.

[01:43:55] I'm not sure what that is.

[01:43:56] Do you wrestle the belt or with a belt?

[01:43:58] There's a mixed event, which includes falconry, mounted archery and a hunt assisted by a dog.

[01:44:07] So it's, you know, it's sort of, it's like taking these primitive nomadic sort of activities and then making them into a sport.

[01:44:17] This is real.

[01:44:19] There's also a sport called, I believe it's called kukburu, which is like fighting for a goat carcass.

[01:44:23] Hold on. I'm on the Wikipedia page.

[01:44:25] Founded six months ago by Ben Hesley.

[01:44:30] This is one of those things where you're like Kyrgyzstan, which is Kazakhstan is like fucking, you know, Singapore compared to Kyrgyzstan's Jupiter.

[01:44:42] You know, like Kyrgyzstan is a rural country.

[01:44:45] I was just trying to think of very different, like Kazakhstan is a Petro state.

[01:44:50] Is a Petro.

[01:44:52] The hardest I've seen Ben laugh at anything in a while.

[01:44:55] I mean, I could not have predicted what was coming.

[01:44:59] I was really trying to go far away.

[01:45:01] His face is fully red.

[01:45:04] Like Kazakhstan is like people in berets smoking and not to insult Kyrgyzstan.

[01:45:09] It's just like that's a super rural country of farmland.

[01:45:11] Right.

[01:45:13] And Kyrgyzstan is like the most dominant country by like so much.

[01:45:20] They're so good at the Nomad games.

[01:45:22] They just crush Russia is like number three.

[01:45:25] Russia is like junior compared to the Kyrgyz goat wrestling and all that.

[01:45:32] One of my, one of the films I've seen the most in the last few years is a film called Babies.

[01:45:37] I don't know if you guys have ever heard. It's a French documentary.

[01:45:38] Of course produced by Alain Chabat.

[01:45:43] Yes. And it's a.

[01:45:45] It's just babies.

[01:45:47] Correct. You got it my friend.

[01:45:49] It's like a nature documentary about four babies.

[01:45:51] I saw that opening weekend. I was so amped for that fucking movie.

[01:45:54] It's got four babies. I can, that film has no dialogue because it's just babies.

[01:45:58] They are not talking now.

[01:46:00] No. The babies? No, they're babies.

[01:46:02] They're like babies.

[01:46:04] Ben, I'll tell you to look when they're talking.

[01:46:05] They're basically zero to one year old.

[01:46:09] Right? Like, and it's an American baby.

[01:46:12] Mongolian baby is the one I remember popping.

[01:46:14] Exactly. There's a Japanese baby.

[01:46:17] Very cute. They're all very cute except for the American baby who you're kind of like.

[01:46:21] Pony Zhao.

[01:46:23] That's Pony Zhao who I believe is from Namibia.

[01:46:26] I just want to say you.

[01:46:28] That's a huge pull that you just got the name of the baby.

[01:46:31] I've not seen that movie since it came out.

[01:46:32] Me and my friends were so fucking amped for it.

[01:46:35] I remember Pony Zhao.

[01:46:37] Yes, and the Mongolian baby.

[01:46:40] I just remember.

[01:46:42] That Mongolian baby is like a nomad game ass baby.

[01:46:45] He's just climbing up like rusty buckets and like, you know, like poking a yak and all that.

[01:46:50] This movie actually rules.

[01:46:52] Yes. Babies. I've forgotten about it.

[01:46:54] Just checking out. I watch it with my kid all the time because my kid likes it.

[01:46:56] No, it makes sense. They're our babies.

[01:46:57] I remember the trailer was set to.

[01:46:59] It was also like kind of a big hit because it translated in every country.

[01:47:03] It's got no speaking.

[01:47:05] Yep.

[01:47:07] And no narration or anything. You're just watching slice of life.

[01:47:09] You're watching like parallel development.

[01:47:11] Like he'll just cut between like now they're all kind of learning to do this.

[01:47:15] Like you just see the different ways they're learning to do that.

[01:47:17] It's a good movie. I like babies.

[01:47:19] Babies is good.

[01:47:21] I remember there's a part in the trailer which is set to some Sufjan Stevens song.

[01:47:23] Where it intercuts.

[01:47:24] It cuts between all four babies like crawling and then in big letters it just says the babies are coming.

[01:47:31] Good movie.

[01:47:33] And I turned to my friend like Emily St. James's dad and went, I'm seeing that.

[01:47:39] Ben, should we get you to cover the next World Nomad Games?

[01:47:43] Fly out to. Well, let's see.

[01:47:45] Man on the Beat.

[01:47:47] I was going to say where is it happening?

[01:47:50] Kazakhstan.

[01:47:52] Oh, fuck.

[01:47:54] Are we teeing up then?

[01:47:56] September 8th to 15th.

[01:47:58] Yes.

[01:48:00] In Astana which is the capital of Kazakhstan.

[01:48:02] Pretty easy to fly to I think.

[01:48:04] Oh yeah, maybe probably one layover.

[01:48:06] Layover in Istanbul or something won't be so bad.

[01:48:09] We could probably get you press accreditation through this podcast.

[01:48:12] Any editors that listen to the show?

[01:48:14] I don't know. Afar.

[01:48:16] I'm trying to think of some travel publications.

[01:48:19] You have been saying Ben it's been too long since we've done a quote unquote documentary episode.

[01:48:22] Like going to Six Flags or Atlantic City and every year you pitch like is there a fun place we could go to and record?

[01:48:29] Well, my friend, maybe it's time for you to tape a zoom recorder to your chest and fly solo to Kazakhstan.

[01:48:36] Embed yourself in the Nomad Games.

[01:48:39] They also play like Mancala, you know that like board game.

[01:48:43] It's like they both play these crazy physical things.

[01:48:46] It's an interesting mix.

[01:48:48] These like ancient board games.

[01:48:49] You have to play like Mancala on the back of a bowl.

[01:48:52] They strap you to a donkey.

[01:48:54] Is it like the Olympics where you don't compete in every event or is it like everyone's got to you?

[01:48:59] All I can tell you is that Kazakhstan has 81 gold medals.

[01:49:04] And Kazakhstan has 40.

[01:49:06] Like that's a huge drop.

[01:49:08] Mongolia has got three gold medals in its history.

[01:49:12] Just a shout out to the Mongolian baby.

[01:49:14] US zero golds.

[01:49:16] Have they sent anyone to the Nomad Games?

[01:49:19] I'm seeing here they have.

[01:49:21] Yes, because we have three silvers, four bronze.

[01:49:25] All right. Good for us.

[01:49:28] I want to watch babies again. I forgot this existed.

[01:49:30] Dude, I own a lot of iTunes.

[01:49:32] Maybe we take babies.

[01:49:34] We set it in another country.

[01:49:38] Like a Central Asian sort of post-Soviet.

[01:49:41] We add some motorcycles.

[01:49:43] Just a little bit of roller ball.

[01:49:44] We do even less dialogue explaining what's happening.

[01:49:48] Roller ball babies.

[01:49:50] I think I agree with you.

[01:49:52] What if the film was just like opening credits, roller ball is about to begin and we just watch this game.

[01:49:59] Which by the way is how the original is coming.

[01:50:02] I want to re-see.

[01:50:04] No, the Jewish film does that.

[01:50:07] But then of course the Jewish film goes into the bathroom.

[01:50:10] No, it then gets into a more interesting story, but the first 10 minutes are just.

[01:50:12] Give me noises off.

[01:50:14] Yes.

[01:50:16] Give me roller ball the whole game and then you can show me what's happening behind the scenes during the game.

[01:50:22] I'm just imagining David.

[01:50:24] I'm in the pitch room.

[01:50:26] As an exec at MGM watching the first cut of roller ball and going John, John give me noises off.

[01:50:32] You seen noises off?

[01:50:34] Seen the deaf Broadway coming noises off?

[01:50:37] Act one on stage. Act two backstage.

[01:50:39] Katie Thinneran?

[01:50:41] You know from her John.

[01:50:43] Oh man.

[01:50:45] One of Tony.

[01:50:47] Do you know what else I think this movie was missing?

[01:50:49] What?

[01:50:51] I think it was missing the sports movie style end credits little paragraphs that tell you what the players are up to now.

[01:50:59] 100%.

[01:51:01] Tell me what happened to The Assassin.

[01:51:02] Yeah.

[01:51:04] That would have felt so right in the moment to just see like the Black Widow or whatever.

[01:51:11] Yeah.

[01:51:13] What happened to that guy?

[01:51:15] Toba recovered and is you know now unfortunately back working in the mines or whatever.

[01:51:21] Some of them it's like mines, mines, mines.

[01:51:24] This guy's coaching mines.

[01:51:25] You brought up that the killer hilarious ending of this film is Rebecca Romaine James Bond style saying how about we get you to a bed.

[01:51:35] Freeze frame on Chris Klein basically going whoa.

[01:51:38] Like a reaction shot pulled straight from Satan's Exile.

[01:51:41] You had sex with her to be clear.

[01:51:43] A lot of times it seems.

[01:51:45] By the way.

[01:51:47] Just always on the cold hard steel of the sauna room.

[01:51:50] I think in theatrical version the sex scenes basically cut out.

[01:51:53] Yes.

[01:51:55] And her quote unquote nudity is so thoroughly obscured by.

[01:51:58] Shadow.

[01:52:00] And steam where you can see nothing.

[01:52:02] They put on the night vision.

[01:52:04] Then in the R-rated cut now you can see her naked but there is still a lot of shadow.

[01:52:08] Right.

[01:52:10] Apparently when they filmed it it was just like crazy full fontal.

[01:52:13] They screened it that way.

[01:52:15] The sex scene was far more explicit.

[01:52:17] It is insane in 2002 to be like we have footage of Rebecca Romaine so naked.

[01:52:21] We have to get this far away from viewers.

[01:52:24] Well save it for the DVD.

[01:52:26] No we're going to kind of cloud it in the DVD as well.

[01:52:28] But apparently the ending even though McTiernan didn't get to shoot his full Spartacus thing.

[01:52:34] It sounds like at some point the intention of the ending was supposed to be that like they feel like they've won.

[01:52:40] They've beaten the game.

[01:52:42] He shot John Renaud and Navina Andrews.

[01:52:44] They win.

[01:52:46] And then the sort of like ominous.

[01:52:48] Didn't he kill John Renaud with a table.

[01:52:49] He tables his ass.

[01:52:53] He should have said let's table this discussion for a later time.

[01:52:56] But that the ominous note at the end of the movie after that joke was supposed to be like oh but him turning on the execs and killing them up the ratings and has now legitimized as a sport.

[01:53:13] That's more interesting. I like that.

[01:53:15] Right. It's like they kind of like won the battle lost the war.

[01:53:19] Right. Roller ball is too big to be stopped.

[01:53:21] Yes. Yes.

[01:53:23] It's kind of a good ending.

[01:53:25] You guys are idiots.

[01:53:27] Stop thinking roller ball can be fixed.

[01:53:29] Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

[01:53:31] What if we add a third level David?

[01:53:35] We didn't really talk about the final sequence where Chris Klein skates out of the rink kicks through the glass and then most of that is in slow motion for some reason.

[01:53:45] I try to make it like Chris Klein is having this Mandy break down where it's like now he's covered in blood and he's lost his mind.

[01:53:53] They finally broke in this guy which was that was McTiernan's intent in casting him is like if you start out with this guy being so goofy and gaunt.

[01:54:01] Hi fellas. Right. Yeah.

[01:54:03] He's gone to the dark side.

[01:54:05] Where's this line.

[01:54:07] He has like a black eye and he's got like some goo on his face.

[01:54:09] Yeah. Chris was perfect for roller ball because he's an absolute straightforward American boy without an agenda or a cool bone in his body.

[01:54:17] You rarely hear directors say that about the leading man.

[01:54:20] Chris Klein is next to him.

[01:54:22] They hired for their own action movies.

[01:54:24] Cool. And then he said he's as earnest as Jimmy Stewart.

[01:54:27] Another weird comparison for a sci fi action movie so that when he finally gets angry you believe it.

[01:54:32] He's right in an abstract sense that if that worked it would be very satisfying and disturbing.

[01:54:39] I didn't even feel like he was that angry.

[01:54:41] No he's not.

[01:54:43] Well he was just kind of like well here's the next step for the what I got to do you know.

[01:54:48] He's doing OK right. He was on the Flash.

[01:54:52] Chris Klein. For a season.

[01:54:54] What did he play?

[01:54:56] He played a villain but like a big villain.

[01:54:58] It was with a really embarrassing name. Let me look it up.

[01:55:01] OK. I want only the best for him.

[01:55:03] Wait a second.

[01:55:05] What?

[01:55:07] This is crazy. His villain name was Cicada.

[01:55:09] Which Zach mentioned Cicada.

[01:55:12] That's pretty fun. That's pretty good.

[01:55:14] And he's currently on the Netflix show Sweet Magnolias.

[01:55:18] OK.

[01:55:20] Which is one of those shows where you're like well that doesn't exist does it.

[01:55:22] What do you mean three seasons worth.

[01:55:24] The biggest show in America.

[01:55:26] So he's making he's he's OK. I just want to be making a living.

[01:55:28] You know.

[01:55:30] Let's also call out the other thing is you know he hits very quickly right.

[01:55:32] Election American Pie.

[01:55:34] Probably best comedic performance of the 1990s in American Pie is Oz a character we all love.

[01:55:37] Sure.

[01:55:39] Then starts dating Katie Holmes.

[01:55:41] Yes. And they're kind of this like a teeny bopper power couple where it's like holy shit the guy from American Pie is dating the girl from Dawson's Creek.

[01:55:50] Shortly after this movie they are engaged to be married and then she dumps him for Tom Cruise.

[01:55:55] It is so bizarre to jump from Chris Klein to Tom Cruise.

[01:55:59] It's kind of like a Kyrgyzstan to Kazakhstan type disparity.

[01:56:02] It's like being so close to the NHL and then signing up for murder.

[01:56:07] I've always liked the flag of Kyrgyzstan because it has a yurt on it.

[01:56:13] It's a red flag with a yellow yurt in like a sunburst.

[01:56:17] I'm a big flag nerd.

[01:56:19] My friend went to Kyrgyzstan and recently he mailed me a flag because he knew I was such a Kyrgyzstan flag.

[01:56:25] My friend went to Kyrgyzstan because Russia where he lived declared war on Ukraine.

[01:56:29] I don't know if you heard about this and he took the only flight he could out of Russia which was to Kyrgyzstan.

[01:56:34] Should we do the box office game?

[01:56:36] Not a fun reason for getting a great gift.

[01:56:38] But you know what he got out of there. He got out of there.

[01:56:40] He hopped all the way over.

[01:56:42] Is there anything else in the dossier?

[01:56:44] No, no we did the dossier. I promise. I looked. I promise.

[01:56:50] David? Yes.

[01:56:52] Movie? What?

[01:56:54] Yep. I mean it. I swear to God.

[01:56:57] I'm not lying.

[01:56:59] Oh that's cool.

[01:57:01] This episode is cool. Get a little excitement in your voice David.

[01:57:04] I'm excited.

[01:57:06] This episode is once again brought to you from the fine folks at MUBI. We love them.

[01:57:09] They're a curated streaming service dedicated to elevating great cinema from around the globe.

[01:57:14] They got iconic directors, emerging auteurs. There is always something new to discover.

[01:57:18] And with MUBI each and every film is hand selected so you can explore the best of cinema streaming anytime anywhere.

[01:57:25] Now this month on MUBI you can catch their global special program which is Funny Ha Ha.

[01:57:36] Oh okay yeah. Okay.

[01:57:38] Not the movie Funny Ha Ha.

[01:57:40] Which is a film I love. The Andrew Bajaskin movie.

[01:57:42] Maybe it's on there but it's a series on comedy.

[01:57:46] Which is great.

[01:57:48] Laughter knows no bounds David. Making the art of comedy one that transcends language and culture from slapstick to screwball to art house subversion to sharp-toothed

[01:57:55] satire. You can stream the Funny Ha Ha collection featuring some of the best comedies from around the world such as Yannick.

[01:58:02] Quentin Depew.

[01:58:04] Francis King of Comedy. He's navigating the relationship between artists and audiences in his Locarno prize winning movie.

[01:58:11] That's a guy I don't know that well but then you've also got Francis Ha.

[01:58:14] Of course.

[01:58:16] Yes.

[01:58:18] Of course where he's collaborated with Greta Gerwig.

[01:58:21] Modern classic about the highs and lows being a 20 something.

[01:58:25] Have you seen the other again since then?

[01:58:27] Not sure.

[01:58:29] Since Francis Ha?

[01:58:31] Look for a limited time you can try a movie free for 30 days at movie.com slash blank check. That's MUBI.com slash blank check for a month of great cinema for free.

[01:58:36] Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[01:58:39] Griffin this was an interesting week.

[01:58:42] I do know I don't think I don't know if it was number one at the box office but it was mentioned in the dossier it was spoiled for me one of the movies that opened against it because part of the lawsuit where Universal sued MGM for using Fast and Furious.

[01:58:55] Is that they claimed they were deliberately trying to sabotage Universal's big release that same weekend.

[01:59:01] Which was?

[01:59:03] Big Fat Liar.

[01:59:05] A movie that it's one of those things where I all of us in this room a little bit too old for that movie right.

[01:59:10] Saw and loved it.

[01:59:12] I'm not saying I didn't see it but I feel like when I talk to people who are like four to five years younger than us that movie is so totemic.

[01:59:21] I'm 25.

[01:59:23] You're 25.

[01:59:25] Claire who is similarly like in her late 20s.

[01:59:28] Her letterbox review for the Holdovers was Move Over Big Fat Liar.

[01:59:33] Best new Paul Giamatti performance just dropped.

[01:59:36] The amount of Paul Giamatti memes that have been circulating post Holdovers feel very tied to people really feeling connected to Giamatti and Big Fat Liar when they were a child.

[01:59:48] And then he was on his incredible episode of WTF.

[01:59:50] I haven't listened to that yet.

[01:59:52] He's also obviously doing those like YouTubey you know talks about his whole career talks about being in a Rang of Tang.

[01:59:58] It's been coming up a lot but it's one of those things where it went from being like isn't this funny that Paul Giamatti a couple years away from being accepted as one of our finest actors.

[02:00:07] The Zach Cherry of his moment.

[02:00:09] Got painted blue by Frankie.

[02:00:11] Silly kids movie.

[02:00:13] And he's like I've accepted that's like kind of one of the totemic works of my career and is like one of the things that will be on my tombstone.

[02:00:18] And he talks about like in the WTF episode where he's like I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that like I occupy a weird place in like a generation psyche.

[02:00:28] Now I haven't I'm going to confess I haven't seen Big Fat Liar.

[02:00:32] I was too old for it.

[02:00:34] I was 16 years old like I said or you know about to be.

[02:00:37] Is it good.

[02:00:38] One or two when it came out.

[02:00:40] I forgot Zach is five.

[02:00:43] Is it good.

[02:00:44] Our youngest act.

[02:00:45] I remember it being fun.

[02:00:46] You know it's like a kid.

[02:00:48] It's like a kids get up.

[02:00:50] Yeah.

[02:00:51] Sean Levy movie.

[02:00:53] The man who now of course is our modern Spielberg.

[02:00:56] Right and it was written by Dan Schneider.

[02:00:58] Normal.

[02:00:59] I see here that it's based on Isaf's fable.

[02:01:02] What.

[02:01:04] Is that true.

[02:01:05] Technically based on the boy who cried wolf.

[02:01:07] Okay.

[02:01:08] Oh yeah I guess.

[02:01:10] My memory of it's like you know Muniz and Bines are really big at that moment.

[02:01:13] Giamatti's character is called Marty Wolf.

[02:01:15] Wow.

[02:01:16] And he plays the big fat liar.

[02:01:19] He's a blowhard Hollywood dealmaker.

[02:01:22] I can't remember if he's a producer or he's an exec.

[02:01:24] He's a.

[02:01:26] And then he gets the better of them and they proceed to prank him for like you know 90 minutes or whatever.

[02:01:31] It's kind of classic Ben Sinema Bushwhacked Home Alone where Giamatti is in the Daniel Stern position of being tortured embarrassed in any number of ways.

[02:01:40] And I just remember watching it on cable some point years later and being like yeah Giamatti is giving this a lot.

[02:01:45] It's probably funny to watch these things happen to Paul Giamatti.

[02:01:48] We got to get him in a home alone now that I think of it.

[02:01:53] How about you reboot Paul Giamatti but he's the one stuck in the home alone.

[02:01:57] Oh yeah.

[02:01:59] And it's a bunch of kids trying to break in.

[02:02:01] Yeah.

[02:02:02] So it's just Paul Giamatti like drop kicking seven year old.

[02:02:04] Yeah.

[02:02:05] Calls violence to kids.

[02:02:07] That is my pitch.

[02:02:09] Add it with these kids.

[02:02:11] So this is February 8th 2002.

[02:02:12] Paul Giamatti is Regis.

[02:02:14] To be clear Big Fat Liar is opening to a healthy eleven point five million at number two.

[02:02:19] OK.

[02:02:20] So what is number one it is a delayed film.

[02:02:23] It was supposed to come out on 9-11.

[02:02:25] Yes it was a 9-11.

[02:02:27] Because it's a you know the characters fighting terrorists I think.

[02:02:31] It's not like a film.

[02:02:32] Collateral damage.

[02:02:33] It's Arnold Schwarzenegger in collateral damage.

[02:02:36] I mean that's an interesting you could do sort of screening series of the 9-11 affected movies.

[02:02:40] Yes.

[02:02:41] And it's Zoolander.

[02:02:42] Yes.

[02:02:43] Oh well that one did come out.

[02:02:45] It did come out.

[02:02:46] Donnie Darko.

[02:02:47] Big trouble.

[02:02:49] Big trouble is the one where they're like oh shit a plane gets hijacked in our movie that has nothing to do with terrorism.

[02:02:55] That's the third act is a couple of dumb.

[02:02:58] It's Tom Sizeworn Johnny Knoxville bring a bomb on a plane and try to hold it hostage.

[02:03:03] The other insane one but they somehow fixed it.

[02:03:06] Spider-Man was only the trailer.

[02:03:07] They had to reshoot or you know they had to get rid of it.

[02:03:10] Because the trailer was all stuff that was shot just for the trailer not by Sam Raimi.

[02:03:16] The one that's interesting is Lilo and Stitch.

[02:03:19] Why? Does Lilo do that all the time?

[02:03:21] The last act of the movie was supposed to be Hitch hijacks a plane and starts flying it at a low altitude.

[02:03:26] Not Hitch.

[02:03:27] Stitch.

[02:03:28] You said Hitch.

[02:03:29] I said Stitch with my voice was caught in my throat.

[02:03:33] Stitch hijacks a plane and then he goes.

[02:03:37] And then he flies at a low altitude over Hawaii through the city and people are freaking out.

[02:03:42] And they had animated it that way but had not totally finished.

[02:03:46] People are freaking out that the airplane is supposed to be on a commercial airliner that he's hijacked.

[02:03:52] And they freaked out and they were like this is like 15 minutes of the movie.

[02:03:56] The whole third act is built around this.

[02:03:58] We've animated it. We can't start over and make our release date.

[02:04:01] And some fucking genius who better have gotten the greatest bonus was like make it a spaceship.

[02:04:05] Right. There you go.

[02:04:07] And they like re-animated over only the vehicle and cut like two lines of dialogue out and made it that the bad guy lands with his spaceship and Stitch hijacks it.

[02:04:17] And when it's a spaceship no one gives a shit.

[02:04:19] Very true.

[02:04:21] So in the original version the bad guy was just landing on a commercial like.

[02:04:25] I think in the original version Stitch is chasing another spaceship with a plane.

[02:04:30] And in this one somehow he gets his hands on a different spaceship or something.

[02:04:35] But you can watch online the version of it with the plane that's like half finished.

[02:04:39] It's bizarre.

[02:04:40] Have you seen collateral damage?

[02:04:42] I never have.

[02:04:43] I think that's the one where he's like a firefighter.

[02:04:46] Yes but it turns out to be an inside joke.

[02:04:48] He is a.

[02:04:50] I'm not kidding. I think that's.

[02:04:52] He's a firefighter who sets charges.

[02:04:54] I think that's truly why the movie got delayed.

[02:04:57] He attacks some steel beams.

[02:04:58] He's a fireman but there's some conspiracy.

[02:05:01] I don't remember that.

[02:05:03] His family dies.

[02:05:05] A masked man called El Lobo the wolf claims responsibility and says that he is in Columbia.

[02:05:11] OK.

[02:05:13] And so because of the red tape.

[02:05:15] So annoying when there's red tape.

[02:05:17] He and of course he's called Gordy Brewer.

[02:05:19] Real Schwarzenegger name.

[02:05:21] I'm Gordy Brewer.

[02:05:23] I'm a blue collar.

[02:05:25] I'm Irish. I passed the firefighter exam.

[02:05:26] He just goes to Columbia himself and you know throws people into trees or I don't know what he throws a fire axe at them.

[02:05:33] That's like it's an Andrew Davis movie which is the reason I've always wanted to say it but I've never seen.

[02:05:39] Do you think John McTarran is like looking across the aisle and being like if I had just made that movie.

[02:05:43] Yeah that movie because like that movie was not like successful but it did.

[02:05:47] Well it was pretty actually did pretty badly.

[02:05:50] Collateral damage but it made more than roller ball.

[02:05:52] Yeah and you know what else happened.

[02:05:54] Andrew Davis didn't go to prison.

[02:05:56] No it all comes out in the wash.

[02:05:59] Right. That's true.

[02:06:01] Rolling ball is opening at number three to nine million dollars.

[02:06:04] It will end up at 18 so it has a two multiplier.

[02:06:07] Bad. Not very good.

[02:06:09] Number four the box office is a big hit.

[02:06:11] Its total domestic haul was 18.

[02:06:14] 18 mil and it cost over 100.

[02:06:16] Yeah and like that's not even.

[02:06:18] I there's nothing here telling me what the global rating was though.

[02:06:22] I don't know what that number.

[02:06:24] Kazakhstan.

[02:06:26] It probably it probably made like one or two for the first 10 minutes.

[02:06:30] Right. And then as soon as the violence started it got up to 18.

[02:06:34] You know how sometimes like we're adjusting how many millions of dollars it was making in real time.

[02:06:41] There's like an Italian villain.

[02:06:43] But then you learn like oh in Italy that villains actually Portuguese like right like they.

[02:06:48] Right. What is that the thing like in Kazakhstan they're actually like yeah we're going to Uzbekistan like.

[02:06:52] I don't know.

[02:06:54] In Toy Story 3.

[02:06:56] Oh my God.

[02:06:58] I'm sorry but you teed it up.

[02:07:00] I didn't tee anything.

[02:07:02] Toy Story 3 where they reset buzz and he becomes Spanish buzz right.

[02:07:05] Yes.

[02:07:07] And the question was how do we translate this joke to Spain.

[02:07:09] Right. And they made it hyper regional.

[02:07:11] Right. They mean he's like a basketball or something.

[02:07:14] Yes they made it like a specific dialect or it's like we all agree this type of Spaniard is silly.

[02:07:19] Number four the box office Griffiths a big hit.

[02:07:22] From the you know sort of leftover from Oscar season it's a war film.

[02:07:27] It's a war film.

[02:07:29] It's a black heart black arc Dan black her down.

[02:07:32] Black her.

[02:07:34] A in my opinion very good movie.

[02:07:38] One of the simsiest movies of the 20th century.

[02:07:41] You seen Black Hawk Down Ridley Scott's black.

[02:07:43] Oh yeah I used to love Black Hawk Down.

[02:07:45] Yeah obviously you know somewhat problematic movie for some people I think that's the point of the movie.

[02:07:49] But it's an argument to be had because obviously the movie is about them shooting Somalians essentially.

[02:07:55] Yeah.

[02:07:57] I think it's about you know how war turns us into like video game characters basically.

[02:08:01] But it's certainly of an era of war movies that didn't necessarily interrogate that you know.

[02:08:07] I think the interrogation has to happen with you mostly because Ridley Scott's whole thing is like it's just really as it fucking gets mate.

[02:08:14] Even though of course my other favorite thing about Black Hawk Down is like 90 percent of the actors are British.

[02:08:20] Yes.

[02:08:21] Where it's like all these Americans being like yeehaw let's go get them boys.

[02:08:24] I'm just like British British British British.

[02:08:26] A couple Australians and then Josh Hartnett's like hey.

[02:08:30] Scottish.

[02:08:32] In the defense Josh Hartnett was about as American as you could get at that moment.

[02:08:36] Josh Hartnett by the way.

[02:08:38] He looks like a jarhead.

[02:08:40] And also is like who McTiernan should have hired for Rollerball.

[02:08:42] Yeah.

[02:08:43] Right.

[02:08:44] If you're looking in that age range you know what I kept thinking.

[02:08:47] I want to see this with Keanu.

[02:08:49] I mean I that just sounds like a good movie.

[02:08:52] Yeah.

[02:08:53] I mean make that now.

[02:08:55] Keanu would probably have to play the genre now or he could be like the aging vet like who's like I know yeah I used to be the king of Rollerball but it ruined me.

[02:09:05] Or he could be an NHL superstar who like can't hack it anymore in the NHL.

[02:09:09] You know what I was thinking.

[02:09:11] Because you got to bring the NHL and that's the main part.

[02:09:13] Michael B. Jordan very aligned with MGM right because they do the Creed movies with him.

[02:09:19] Yep and he did without remorse.

[02:09:21] Correct.

[02:09:22] Now now MGM and Amazon company or whatever.

[02:09:25] He for the last 10 years since Creed hit about 10 years now has been trying to remake Thomas Crown Affair a movie they claim is maybe close to actually happening.

[02:09:35] I'm like if you're going to remake a McTiernan Jewison movie Michael B. Jordan would work well in a rollerball.

[02:09:41] I think he's got to do both.

[02:09:43] He's so athletic and he's so angry.

[02:09:45] I'm not opposed right.

[02:09:47] The only reason I think people won't remake Rollerball is this film.

[02:09:50] Yes.

[02:09:51] Which is not only terrible but someone went to jail.

[02:09:54] What if they called it baller rolls and pretended it was original.

[02:09:57] That sounds bad.

[02:09:59] That sounds like a spin off of the HBO show Ballers.

[02:10:02] Number five of the box office is a family film Griffin.

[02:10:05] It's not big fat liar.

[02:10:06] No.

[02:10:07] From Walter Ball with Paul Giamatti is the ball.

[02:10:10] Yes.

[02:10:12] And the ball is blue.

[02:10:14] It's from Disney.

[02:10:15] It's 2002.

[02:10:16] It's a family film.

[02:10:17] It's live action or it's animated.

[02:10:19] Live action.

[02:10:20] It's a live action family film from 2002.

[02:10:23] Stars an Oscar winner.

[02:10:24] Stars an Oscar winner in the lead role.

[02:10:27] The lead role.

[02:10:28] This film is called Snow Dogs.

[02:10:30] It stars Cuba Cunha Jr.

[02:10:31] and James Cobra.

[02:10:34] It stars two Oscar winners.

[02:10:36] No obviously Zach you were born on the day this film came out but did you see it in theaters.

[02:10:41] Yeah I think that's one of the first movies.

[02:10:44] I went straight from the hospital.

[02:10:47] You were actually born during a screening of Snow Dogs.

[02:10:50] I actually don't know if I ever saw that.

[02:10:51] I remember it being so present as an idea.

[02:10:55] Yeah.

[02:10:56] Like I feel like the trailer was everywhere.

[02:10:58] Get ready for my shower.

[02:10:59] Yeah but no I don't know if I saw that one.

[02:11:02] I did learn I learned to speak from watching the trailer.

[02:11:05] Did that tagline win the Pulitzer Prize?

[02:11:07] That tagline is in the Library of Congress.

[02:11:08] Yes the rest of the film wasn't let in.

[02:11:10] They kept it out.

[02:11:11] My favorite thing is that the billing on that film for children about a bunch of huskies doing what do they do?

[02:11:18] They raise.

[02:11:19] Is Cuba Gooding Jr. and James Coburn.

[02:11:23] Two Oscar winners above the title.

[02:11:25] Just imagine a seven year movie.

[02:11:27] Hey Coburn's in this one.

[02:11:29] I'm going to see it.

[02:11:30] That movie is a two hander.

[02:11:31] Coburn is all over it.

[02:11:32] Do you know who Coburn plays?

[02:11:34] I don't.

[02:11:35] Cuba's father.

[02:11:36] Interesting.

[02:11:38] Two very similar men with identical energies.

[02:11:41] Cool.

[02:11:42] Hey I'm Cuba Coburn Jr.

[02:11:44] Looks like Cisco.

[02:11:45] Cisco is also in this film.

[02:11:46] I think at the beginning of the movie Cuba's a dentist.

[02:11:50] Cisco is his dental hygienist.

[02:11:52] Dr. Rupert Brooks.

[02:11:54] And then he's like we've discovered your long lost father.

[02:11:56] Here's your lineage.

[02:11:58] You've inherited a bunch of dogs but also your dad's still alive and you need to race together.

[02:12:02] I think that's what the movie is.

[02:12:05] That movie is paired with Kangaroo Jack which does the same thing a year later.

[02:12:10] And both movies do it too.

[02:12:11] Pretty wild success or both hits.

[02:12:14] Yes.

[02:12:15] It's a 21 mil.

[02:12:16] There's Snow Dog Racing and Kangaroo Jack.

[02:12:19] Kangaroo Jack and Snow Dogs both do the same thing where the trailers feature a bunch of footage of the animals talking and saying funny things.

[02:12:26] And you're like oh this is a funny talking animal movie.

[02:12:29] And then you see it and in both movies there is one scene where the human being is knocked out and has a nightmare where the animals talk to them.

[02:12:35] Otherwise they don't talk.

[02:12:37] So the lawsuit was avoided because they do talk in the film.

[02:12:39] It was avoided.

[02:12:40] But Snow Dogs has a scene where Kubica and Junior's like can cuss and then he sees all the snow dogs sitting in bar collangers and they're like these humans are silly huh?

[02:12:49] And they're like toasting cocktails.

[02:12:51] And I remember seeing the trailer at some movie with Romilly, my little sister at that point was five and she's like gotta see that.

[02:12:57] And we sit there the whole time and she's like when the dogs going to talk?

[02:13:00] And Kangaroo Jack same thing.

[02:13:02] The trailer was all him rapping.

[02:13:04] That's one nightmare sequence that Jerry O'Connell has.

[02:13:06] This is why that the Anna de Armas fans have a point and in my opinion a case.

[02:13:12] I think it's self-inflicted.

[02:13:14] What if you suddenly I like check your socials and I'm like Zach's tweeting a lot about Anna de Armas.

[02:13:20] It's just like a picture of her like getting Dunkin Donuts and you're like looking good Queen.

[02:13:25] I mean look Zach made some bad real estate investments and he needs to be rewarded five million dollars in the yesterday case now.

[02:13:32] Also in the top 10 you've got The Count of Monte Cristo.

[02:13:37] The pretty robust Kevin Reynolds.

[02:13:39] I like that movie.

[02:13:41] Kevysel and Pierce.

[02:13:43] Just a fun old-fashioned sword movie.

[02:13:45] You got A Beautiful Mind which won the Academy Award for Best Picture.

[02:13:48] A big hit.

[02:13:50] Big hit.

[02:13:52] Huge hit.

[02:13:54] I just want you to note the pause I took of self-restraint.

[02:13:56] Good job buddy.

[02:13:58] Thank you.

[02:13:59] Next up is the movie for Shane West.

[02:14:02] Yes.

[02:14:04] For a second I thought Chris Klein was in that but Chris Klein was in a different.

[02:14:07] He's in a different one.

[02:14:09] Sparksian-esque romantic drama.

[02:14:12] This side of heaven or something.

[02:14:14] I think Ben's about to perk up because it's a film about some prophecies involving the Mothman.

[02:14:21] Interesting.

[02:14:23] A film Ben has pitched no less than five times for an episode.

[02:14:26] That's a good choice.

[02:14:28] It would be delightful.

[02:14:30] Delightful is the first word I think of when the Mothman prophecies are in front of you.

[02:14:35] When that film starts it's like Richard Gere and Laura Linney.

[02:14:37] It's like a pretty rogue.

[02:14:39] Kind of Tony Actors.

[02:14:41] Have you ever heard of The Mothman?

[02:14:43] And I'm just leaning forward like the Mothman.

[02:14:46] Mothman.

[02:14:48] Number 10 I Am Sam.

[02:14:50] Maybe one of the more misguided films ever made.

[02:14:52] Yeah.

[02:14:54] That movie was I believe written and directed.

[02:14:56] I Am Sam?

[02:14:58] Yes.

[02:15:00] By Molly Gordon's mother.

[02:15:02] Jessie Nelson.

[02:15:04] Yes.

[02:15:06] Who also married to Brian Gordon another director.

[02:15:08] Who's a big TV director I want to say.

[02:15:10] But she also originated.

[02:15:12] I went on a rabbit hole of watching bad holiday movies over the holiday season ones I hadn't seen before.

[02:15:17] She also directed Karina Karina which is a pretty good movie.

[02:15:20] That's a pretty solid movie.

[02:15:22] She created the premise for Fred Klaus because it started out as a bedtime story she told now star Molly Gordon.

[02:15:28] Wow.

[02:15:30] And in Fred Klaus Molly Gordon is name checked.

[02:15:32] There's a scene where Fred Klaus has been good or bad or whatever.

[02:15:35] Right and he's like okay let's get a bike for Molly Gordon.

[02:15:37] Another movie with the big fat liar himself.

[02:15:39] Giamatti he slays in that thing right?

[02:15:42] He slays in the sleigh in that thing.

[02:15:45] She slays in that thing with bells on.

[02:15:49] Can I just list.

[02:15:50] That movie features Academy Award nominee perhaps winner by the time this episode comes out.

[02:15:56] It could happen.

[02:15:58] Paul Giamatti Academy Award nominee Miranda Richardson.

[02:16:00] Absolutely.

[02:16:02] Academy Award winner Kathy Bates.

[02:16:04] Academy Award winner Rachel Weiss.

[02:16:06] We're getting to a but.

[02:16:08] But two time Academy Award winner Kevin Spacey.

[02:16:11] Yeah.

[02:16:13] That thing is like fucking loaded.

[02:16:15] That's Fred Klaus.

[02:16:17] It was a follow up to Wedding Crashers right for David Dobkin.

[02:16:18] He had he had the juice.

[02:16:20] It's a blank check movie.

[02:16:22] Never seen. Have you seen Fred Klaus?

[02:16:24] I know you're like negative two when that came out.

[02:16:26] Yeah I wasn't allowed to watch Fred Klaus.

[02:16:28] That movie is a nightmare.

[02:16:30] Yeah you're not a fan.

[02:16:32] No it's a it's a night.

[02:16:34] It is the weirdest combination of like isn't it time to give Vince Vaughn his elf.

[02:16:38] Like that was clearly the calculation.

[02:16:40] Right.

[02:16:41] Jesse Nelson had written that script.

[02:16:43] It sit around for a while sat around for a while and Vince Vaughn they were like we'll pay you 20 million dollars.

[02:16:46] You've reteamed with the Wedding Crashers guy.

[02:16:48] Bring your edgy ratatat dialog style.

[02:16:52] Leather jacket fucking asshole energy.

[02:16:55] To this heartwarming family.

[02:16:57] But they're really trying to go for like this is a Santa Claus.

[02:17:01] This is elf.

[02:17:03] It's going to start out a little nasty and it's going to win you over with charm.

[02:17:05] And the style is so incompatible.

[02:17:08] They also like 90 percent of the elves in the movie are played by little people.

[02:17:13] But then John Michael Higgins is also like.

[02:17:14] Ludicrous.

[02:17:16] Ludicrous.

[02:17:17] There are a couple big actors who they do tiny face replacement on.

[02:17:20] And the effect is not there.

[02:17:23] Yeah. Also Elizabeth Banks is also an elf but she's just regular size normal size and John Michael Higgins wants a piece and a lot of movies.

[02:17:31] Fred Claus trying to teach him how to be more of an aloof asshole so she falls for him.

[02:17:36] I have.

[02:17:38] That I remember laughing at.

[02:17:40] So strange.

[02:17:41] Okay. Well it received negative reviews I'm seeing here.

[02:17:45] But why are we even talking about it because that didn't come out.

[02:17:47] Yeah.

[02:17:48] Justin Ellison director of I am Sam.

[02:17:50] And I am Sam was that Dakota Fanning.

[02:17:52] Yeah.

[02:17:54] Yes. That's the film where Sean Penn is a sort of intellectually disabled person although they don't really get into it.

[02:17:59] Who's also a single father who is also a single father to an adorable child.

[02:18:03] And she's now reaching the age where her mental capacity is exceeding his and it becomes a custody battle with the state.

[02:18:09] And she is genuinely like astonishing in it.

[02:18:13] Like everything else about the movie is god-awful.

[02:18:15] Right. And she's so natural and cute.

[02:18:17] She got a SAG nomination.

[02:18:19] Right. That she almost got an Oscar nomination instead they gave Sean Penn an Oscar nomination.

[02:18:23] Yeah which is illegal.

[02:18:25] I mean it literally becomes the Tropic Thunder bit.

[02:18:29] Yes. It's the backbone of the Tropic Thunder bit.

[02:18:33] Yes.

[02:18:34] I have heard L Fanning plays baby Dakota in that movie.

[02:18:37] I have heard their voices so much over the past week because I had COVID my entire family had COVID.

[02:18:43] My daughter is obsessed with my neighbor Totoro.

[02:18:45] Oh.

[02:18:47] Which is just Dakota the English dub of the most recent.

[02:18:49] Wow.

[02:18:51] It's just Dakota and L the whole time.

[02:18:53] Like it must have been right around that time.

[02:18:55] They're kids. They're both kids.

[02:18:57] And they're both very good in it.

[02:18:59] I mean it's a totally well executed dub.

[02:19:00] And she's just fucking obsessed with equalizer three and who's the great.

[02:19:05] Yeah exactly playing them on split screen.

[02:19:07] No just every every you know six hours.

[02:19:13] I will watch Totoro.

[02:19:15] Dakota kind of eats an equalizer three.

[02:19:17] You finally watched it.

[02:19:19] Equalizer three rocks.

[02:19:21] And the fact that it is a Denzel Dakota man on fire reunion is like sweet.

[02:19:25] And then you're like they're not really doing enough with it.

[02:19:27] And then the ending kind of gets you back.

[02:19:29] You're like yeah.

[02:19:31] I'm not going to spoil it for the listener but I told you this and you were skeptical that the twist kind of gets you.

[02:19:36] Twist is good.

[02:19:38] The closing.

[02:19:40] You feel silly for not seeing it coming.

[02:19:42] But did you see that every one of those movies they make for like seventy five million and they make like two hundred fifty million.

[02:19:46] Look and we're definitely going to get another one.

[02:19:49] But it hurts.

[02:19:51] I want to tell you something Zach and then we should wrap up.

[02:19:52] And I know you couldn't see equalizer one and two in theaters because you were too young.

[02:19:56] I only just was allowed to start watching.

[02:20:00] So the equalizer made one hundred and one million dollars domestically just America on release.

[02:20:08] How much it open to David.

[02:20:10] That's a great question.

[02:20:12] It's also important to what you're about to say.

[02:20:14] It opened its opening weekend was thirty four million dollars.

[02:20:16] OK. Thirty four one oh one equalizer.

[02:20:18] Equalizer two equalizer two made one hundred and two million dollars.

[02:20:23] It opened to thirty six mil.

[02:20:27] OK. OK. Just like the fact that this is a character so committed to equal.

[02:20:33] Yeah.

[02:20:35] That he's like if I make a two we add one dollar to the total essentially.

[02:20:38] Here's what's frustrating equalizer three opens to thirty four million dollars.

[02:20:43] It's the same opening as all the others.

[02:20:45] It splits the difference between the two.

[02:20:46] It made ninety two.

[02:20:48] I just needed to make an extra nine million dollars.

[02:20:51] They need to re-release that thing in IMAX now.

[02:20:53] To re-release it on forty thousand screens so the people are just fooled into buying tickets.

[02:20:58] They need to promise everyone who goes to see it that they will be refunded one hundred dollars.

[02:21:03] Just so we can get this thing to one oh three.

[02:21:06] The revenue. It's fine if you know it's fine if you pay back.

[02:21:09] Because I need equalizer four to happen.

[02:21:12] He needs to die making these movies.

[02:21:13] He needs to make them for four more decades.

[02:21:15] I think he wants to.

[02:21:17] I think he's basically the only thing.

[02:21:19] The only sequel he's ever made right?

[02:21:21] Yes. And now he's made three of them.

[02:21:23] I think he's like kind of the only thing holding society together at this point.

[02:21:26] Robert McCall.

[02:21:28] This man is so good at fucking equalizing shit.

[02:21:31] Especially in equalizer three he's like he living in a small Italian town.

[02:21:35] And it's truly like it feels like he's like yeah Home Depot that was pretty good.

[02:21:39] Right. Being friends with Orson Bean or whatever equalizer two was about that was pretty good.

[02:21:43] This is the most equal way of life.

[02:21:46] Like living in this town where I go get my fish.

[02:21:49] My whole cell phone to the lady making coffee.

[02:21:52] Once I finally got equal pill and I was trying to sell you on these movies David.

[02:21:55] I'm like each one of them features 40 minutes of just Denzel even healed daily routine.

[02:22:01] Trying to go about his day.

[02:22:03] And the third one just nails the formula because they're like you know what this guy does.

[02:22:06] He has a nice espresso every afternoon talks to the coffee lady.

[02:22:10] And then some guy comes in he's like I am a gangster and I'm like if Denzel doesn't rip this guy's throat out right away I'm going to be so mad.

[02:22:17] This guy's got to die.

[02:22:19] Spoiled by the third equalizer.

[02:22:22] Robert McCall becomes so violent that he may be becoming the monster.

[02:22:29] Well this is interesting territory for equalizer four.

[02:22:32] He's unequal.

[02:22:33] I think that would be interesting to explore because he no longer he he he starts really working out some issues with with his.

[02:22:42] Look this man he's experienced a lot of tragedy right.

[02:22:45] I think there's some unresolved emotional issues with him.

[02:22:48] He's looking for a sense of peace he cannot find it.

[02:22:50] Or equality.

[02:22:52] This man he demands equality.

[02:22:55] I wish I do feel like they lose the watch thing.

[02:22:57] I like the watch thing that this feeling that he's like Steven Soderbergh where he's like I'm in competition with myself.

[02:23:03] I'm trying to equalize things faster than I did last time.

[02:23:06] But he's a little older maybe you know maybe he's shuffling more.

[02:23:10] How old is Denzel now?

[02:23:12] Sixty nine.

[02:23:14] He is sixty nine my friend.

[02:23:17] I don't forget names like that.

[02:23:20] I was trying to be polite so I said seventy.

[02:23:23] No no man my dude is partying this year.

[02:23:28] He's trying out some different orientations of his body.

[02:23:32] We're done. Can I just say one last thing because you brought up Dakota and L.Fanning.

[02:23:36] Do you know they were making an adaptation of I think it was going to be called the Nightingale some best selling book that they were going to star in together the first time being in a movie as adults that Melanie Laurent was directing as a big Columbia pictures production that got hold of the

[02:23:49] during the pandemic.

[02:23:51] I think they maybe filmed a week.

[02:23:53] It got shut down.

[02:23:54] It has never resumed filming weird isn't it.

[02:23:57] It was like a big announced thing of like we bought this best selling book.

[02:24:01] We're reteaming them out.

[02:24:02] Melanie Ross quietly been making very good films in France as a director.

[02:24:05] This was sort of her step up and then the movies just they keep delaying it.

[02:24:10] All right.

[02:24:11] I don't know.

[02:24:12] Anyway sorry I'll turn the lights back on.

[02:24:14] I know that was kind of weird.

[02:24:15] Yeah we did that way too long in the dark to be fair we couldn't afford to keep the mics on in light so we had to it was a production workaround and that's no citations on Wikipedia for that.

[02:24:31] Yeah.

[02:24:32] For that fact.

[02:24:33] Zach you're the best in the best.

[02:24:35] Thank you for watching Rollerball.

[02:24:36] Oh I was I was happy to I was thrilled.

[02:24:39] Did you did you know you watched on to be you said I was happy to watch on to be.

[02:24:42] Did you know you watched on to be you said I was going to ask if you bought a digital copy to be and honestly the jarring commercial interruptions somewhat worked for the themes of the I could see that the naked commercialism of to be just like in the middle of someone saying a lie being like erectile dysfunction.

[02:25:04] OK sure.

[02:25:05] Yeah here we go.

[02:25:06] To be also does the thing where they're like there's no ads for 45 minutes and then there's eight ads for the next 40.

[02:25:13] You can't get a rhythm.

[02:25:14] You can't figure out.

[02:25:16] They're also there's no one like trying to design ad breaks deliberately.

[02:25:22] They're just like yeah just pick a number.

[02:25:23] It'll happen in the middle of a line in the middle of a word brief to be a side please for Christmas.

[02:25:29] My wife got me a poster of 100 like essential horror films.

[02:25:33] It's a scratch off poster.

[02:25:34] Humble.

[02:25:35] It's amazing.

[02:25:36] One of the best gifts I've ever received.

[02:25:37] We've been going back to scratch it off and then you watch it.

[02:25:40] You watch it then scratch it off because often there's like a reveal that you wouldn't get until you've seen the list and they're giving you a tidbit you wouldn't.

[02:25:48] Yes now that you're on the other side you can learn it might be like the twist is revealed behind the scratch off whatever.

[02:25:54] Right.

[02:25:55] But we've been going back from the beginning chronologically and watching like what is it.

[02:26:00] Dr. Dr.

[02:26:02] Testament Dr.

[02:26:03] No like Dr.

[02:26:04] Something's cabinet of it's like considered the first.

[02:26:07] Yes.

[02:26:08] Oh yeah.

[02:26:09] Dr.

[02:26:10] Yeah.

[02:26:11] It's like considered the first horror movie.

[02:26:12] So we've been watching all these 1920 silent movies but on to be and if you if you want.

[02:26:17] You go from Dr.

[02:26:20] Caligari music straight to like a man and woman.

[02:26:24] Being like we don't have enough money for groceries like slapping stuff on the table.

[02:26:29] Are you depressed.

[02:26:31] Like it's amazing that is that is really funny.

[02:26:34] Have you had have you watched stuff online that is interrupted by your own ad breaks.

[02:26:40] Because you had a robust commercial campaign where you were popping up regularly on I was getting fed your ad.

[02:26:46] I watched like the US Open.

[02:26:49] Okay.

[02:26:50] You know so but not like in a to be style.

[02:26:53] I was getting it.

[02:26:54] I was definitely getting it online because like I don't have cable.

[02:26:58] I don't watch anything on broadcast anymore and I definitely remember watching shit online having interrupted by you saying I'm a very big deal.

[02:27:06] The US Open yes but that was like you know linear TV.

[02:27:10] Okay.

[02:27:11] If I watch Bosch legacy on free V I've never watched a free V show.

[02:27:15] That one I have to watch ads right.

[02:27:17] Like there's no way to pay.

[02:27:19] David listen free V is Amazon's ad supported streaming service unlike Amazon Prime Video a streaming service that they've now decided to add ads to.

[02:27:27] Yeah but it at least they know it right there actually placed with some yes.

[02:27:32] Yes it's designed with intent with purpose right.

[02:27:36] Zach you're the best best in the biz.

[02:27:39] Best in the biz.

[02:27:40] Ever watch Severance whenever that happens.

[02:27:42] You're so fucking good and you hurt my feelings.

[02:27:45] Oh thanks.

[02:27:46] You are so good.

[02:27:47] You hurt me.

[02:27:48] So fucking good.

[02:27:49] Thank you.

[02:27:50] Was that fun to make?

[02:27:51] Yeah it was great.

[02:27:52] Super fun.

[02:27:53] I love her movies so it's like super psyched to get to do that.

[02:27:57] I'm always a fan of everything you do.

[02:27:59] I think you always kill it but that role is just like straight three pointers.

[02:28:03] You really hurt Tobias Mitz.

[02:28:05] Yeah.

[02:28:06] You really do.

[02:28:07] Yeah it was fun.

[02:28:08] It was fun.

[02:28:09] Is there anything else you want to plug.

[02:28:12] I'm trying to think of what else.

[02:28:14] When's Baking Show coming back.

[02:28:17] Baking Show the Celebrity Holiday Special.

[02:28:21] The second one of that is already out on Roku channel.

[02:28:25] Who are the celebrity contests?

[02:28:26] There's a bunch and I could list them off the top of my head but I'm not allowed.

[02:28:32] I'm too young to.

[02:28:34] Looks like DeAndre Jordan was part of it.

[02:28:37] MBA center DeAndre Jordan.

[02:28:40] Champion.

[02:28:41] I only follow roller ball.

[02:28:42] I go and want him from the great Saturday.

[02:28:45] Phoebe Robinson Joel McHale.

[02:28:48] The great fun bunch.

[02:28:50] It was a lot of fun.

[02:28:52] And then the main season I think will be out sometime in.

[02:28:56] I don't know.

[02:28:57] Casey Wilson this season.

[02:28:58] Yes Casey Wilson is co-hosting this.

[02:29:00] You were filming while we were doing George Lucas stuff in Edinburgh so we got to hang out which was really nice.

[02:29:05] That was fun.

[02:29:06] You stopped.

[02:29:07] You jumped across the pond.

[02:29:09] Yeah hopped on the old choo-choo and made my way up to Edinburgh.

[02:29:14] It was great.

[02:29:15] Edinburgh.

[02:29:16] Edinburgh.

[02:29:17] We'll have you on again soon Zach.

[02:29:19] The next time we find a movie whose trailer led to a loss.

[02:29:22] There must be trailer based litigation.

[02:29:24] Yeah.

[02:29:25] Maybe that was that movie Zach Galifianakis was in right after the hangover.

[02:29:29] Lumineers or something.

[02:29:31] Or no not Lumineers.

[02:29:32] Visioneers.

[02:29:33] Visioneers where he was like in the trailer a lot.

[02:29:36] That was his only.

[02:29:37] Yeah.

[02:29:38] So I'll sue someone about that and then we can talk about that.

[02:29:41] You sue the hell out of what poor indie filmmaker just slapped that movie together.

[02:29:46] You need to make your next episode happen by starting your own lawsuit.

[02:29:49] Yeah yeah yeah.

[02:29:50] Happy to hear it.

[02:29:51] Thank you.

[02:29:52] You're the best.

[02:29:53] And you know who else is the best?

[02:29:55] Our listeners.

[02:29:56] I would never say an untoward word about them.

[02:29:58] We love them unabashedly and they've never driven us crazy.

[02:30:01] Thank you all for listening.

[02:30:02] Please remember to rate, review and subscribe.

[02:30:05] Thank you to Murray Barty our associate producer on the show.

[02:30:09] A.J. McKeon production coordinator Alex Baron for our editing.

[02:30:13] Lane Montgomery in the Great American Novel for our theme song.

[02:30:16] Joe Bowen Pat Rollins for our artwork.

[02:30:18] J.J. Birch for our research as we said.

[02:30:21] More McTiernan crime info coming next week on basic but also if you go to BlankTrekpod.com

[02:30:30] BlankTrekpod.com links to some real nerdy shit including our Patreon BlankTrek special features

[02:30:35] where we're doing commentaries on the Terminator franchise but also doing a full episode on Pelicano.

[02:30:41] Special episode on Sin Eater.

[02:30:43] The documentary about this.

[02:30:45] The crimes of Anthony Pelicano.

[02:30:47] That'll be posting. Oh you know what? That's already posted.

[02:30:49] Okay well then go listen to that.

[02:30:52] Tune in next week for basic.

[02:30:54] Yep.

[02:30:55] The finale.

[02:30:56] That's it.

[02:30:57] Yeah.

[02:30:58] Travolta and Jackson together again.

[02:31:02] Travolta and Jackson together again.

[02:31:04] No other things to say about them.

[02:31:06] And as always, Chris Klein should have gotten a Best Supporting Actor nomination for his role as Oz in American Pop.

[02:31:15] He's good in it!