Showgirls with Caroline Framke

[00:00:01] Blank Check with Griffin and David, Blank Check with Griffin and David, Don't know what to say or to express All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check Where are you from? Different podcast Okay, that was very quiet

[00:00:27] I think she's quiet until she gets loud She yells it No, they're different podcasts They're different points where she's asked that I thought you were doing David don't yell in the mic Hey Ben, blowing up, blowing up Sorry, sorry Please, Ben check the level

[00:00:42] What's your social security number? That's, I thought you were doing that one and that one she's pretty muted Different places No and that one she says she's from New York Oh, you're right In the job interview Isn't there an earlier one where she's kind of quiet? Different places

[00:00:55] Okay let's take two Ben, cut everything out No no no, we're just gonna keep going, I love it David, cue me again Alright, fine Where are you from? Different podcast Yeah that's what we need Right there Right there Ben's happy Ben's thrilled Hey everybody, welcome to Blank Check

[00:01:11] How the Blank Check with Graf and David Drinking raspberry coffee We're gonna have a lot of blown sound What? I'm drinking raspberry coffee Are you really? Yep, and I That's a thing And you admitted to it And I have a food item here that our guest has already

[00:01:27] Dragged Before I even taken my first bite All I did was ask what it was But that was sufficient to drink it You know that me having to answer is a self-dunk Yeah so please tell me You know you're forcing me to dunk on myself What are those?

[00:01:42] But just about the whatever the fuck is White cheddar bagel twist Why are you saying white? Just say cheddar No because that is what it's called And he needed to say the full name It's a white cheddar And a raspberry coffee

[00:01:55] You went to the coffee place to Dunkin Donuts Yeah let's use the proper name The coffee place I went to was Dunkin Donuts You went to Dunkin and you were like No raspberry, yeah let's have a little raspberry in the coffee

[00:02:06] Oh yeah because you have to ask for that Yeah I said one small black Actually make it a raspberry coffee I love Dunkin Donuts but my problem with Dunkin Donuts Well America runs on it Is it is tough just to get like a black coffee

[00:02:20] With nothing in it there sometimes Where they're like can I get just black coffee And they're like yeah like eight packets of sugar though right And you're like no sugar And they're like oh no so four packets of sugar They really have to be talked down

[00:02:33] From putting something in your coffee Usually I just go black with nothing right And I feel like I get all those follow up questions Right And I want them to just accept I go hey just black coffee nothing in it right Yeah

[00:02:44] And they still ask the follow up questions One black coffee This time I said hey can I get a raspberry coffee And they went black And that was the end of the question So I might have come up with a life hacks here

[00:02:55] They were trying to give you an out Yeah Life hacks with Griffin and David Welcome to our life hacking podcast Yes Life hacks this is a podcast about life hacks This is a podcast I'll be food related About biohackers Uh huh go on

[00:03:13] No this is a podcast I can't Alright it's a podcast about filmographies Directors are massive success early on in their career And given a series of blank checks Sometimes those things clear And sometimes they bounce darling Darling Sometimes they bounce to different places See I turned away Darling

[00:03:29] Ben's not happy this time Yeah great job I'm so proud of you David Good Ben's in a little bit of a nomi mood today He seems very uh placated And then a millisecond later he will scream We're gonna have some mood swings

[00:03:44] He also keeps taking his shirt off Well listen it's more comfortable for me You have a problem with that? No I just Do you need me to get some ice? Yeah I guess it's getting ice for Ben Ben's a prick Okay What's the exact line?

[00:03:59] I need to call up the wiki quotes or whatever For this cause there's so many quotes There are too many Let's just do a table read of this script quickly Oh boy This is a movie series about the films of Paul Verhoeven It's called Pod Ship Castors

[00:04:12] And we've gotten today to I'm gonna send this to you Go on, go on, go on Carrie Cause you need to just read this aloud Ben it's perfect for you This is a Falkermont movie This was a huge sloppathon's release And then has become

[00:04:28] Weirdly one of the more profitable movies of the 90s Yes One of the most profitable home releases of all time Of all time It's called Showgirls It was the first studio NC17 film right? Yeah it was trying to break that glass ceiling Cause like Henry and June

[00:04:44] That was like an indie movie right? I'm trying to think of pretty prior NC17 This was like the first big studio funded word Tensionally we know going into this It's gonna be an NC17 I think Henry and June is the only other studio

[00:04:56] Cause I think Henry and June hilariously enough Was a universal film Really? Which is insane Where the Philip Kaufman was like Anayas Nin can I Anyway sorry And people thought this was gonna be Like the one that broke ground And allowed NC17 movies to be a viable

[00:05:15] Financial prospect by studios And not so much It was totally abandoned after this film But you're right We're talking about Paul Verhoeven here What's the, did you name the Podshipcasters? Podshipcasters I named that And the film is called Showgirls Showgirls So yeah you know

[00:05:31] This is a man who was When he made this movie Hollywood loved him He hadn't had a flop yet No he had not Three huge hits in a row RoboCop Totally calm basic instinct Yeah I mean each one bigger than the last Yes truly right

[00:05:45] I think each one out across the Oh no we looked up Total recall made a little more than basic instinct But I mean but basic instinct was Right A more surprising phenomenon Yes Right so this was This is a big swing here And it's also A huge one

[00:06:01] Yeah It's a big swing for Joe Esther House Well that's the other person we got to talk about We'll have talked about him In the basic instinct episode last week But this is when he really has Total carte blanche to do whatever the fuck he wants

[00:06:14] This movie was A pitch written on a napkin Which was sold for two million dollars That is correct That was the This entire movie feels like it was written on a napkin The napkin was two million And he got an additional

[00:06:26] One point seven million for the script itself Yeah Right they had to pay two million For the napkin so they'd have The honor of paying him An additional one point five To write lines like That is true Which fun fact I'm gonna say that

[00:06:39] Is in a planet Hollywood in Cincinnati Oh the napkin Oh the napkin Ooh In Cincinnati Why not Of all places Why is it in Cincinnati You gotta put some stuff in I mean they gotta fill out All the different planet Different places Oh intruders are guest

[00:06:56] Or I'll do it Our guest has done a great job Talking before she was entered Which is what we want The earmark of a great bling check Yes Oh no pressure She is a friend And a writer Whose work you can read on Vox And other places

[00:07:13] Different places Different places Different places Uh ladies and gentlemen Caroline Frank Hi Former AV clubber Oh yeah that's how David and I know each other And the transfer is right I'm doing finger guns in his direction You can't see up Were you ever in the same office

[00:07:29] Or were you just on the same site I didn't actually even meet David in person until like A few years ago That's right Because I lived in LA Because you lived on another coast And he was furious about it all the time Lived in a different place

[00:07:41] I didn't meet David until today Shit How you doing I'm doing okay It's very different than I thought you'd look Hey how you doing I always thought you were Ben From the artwork I've been recording every episode In studio but in a box Yeah no he comes in

[00:07:57] They wheel me in a box I feel like we're in a Fittingly stupid dude Yeah well this is So this movie Can you tell me about TV Most of the time Yes yes Well this is a movie about shows It's a movie about shows There you go

[00:08:15] The show girls The business of show The business of show And no business like it And that it is objectively The single worst business That's the thesis of this movie Certainly Certainly Show girls God where do you even begin With show girls Well yeah so let's talk about

[00:08:30] Because when I put this on last night Joanna was like Your girlfriend True Humble friend Was like What asked the pretty normal question of What the fuck is that What's it about Like you know How do you have pit show girls So I was like

[00:08:46] You know it's like this like Star is born kind of thing But it's like very sexually explicit So it was rated in C17 Right And her response was I don't want to watch that And also Literally every character You will meet for the entire Runtime of this film

[00:09:01] It's bad Is an abuser Abused on screen or both There's one character Who's the best character Yeah Her friend Correct Oh no now I feel bad Because it wasn't her friend He actually said he was abused on screen And of course she didn't

[00:09:15] I'd say every character falls into one or the other If you like a character You have to watch them go through Who are you going to say Crystal Connors Oh You know what You know what She's not wrong It's a hot take Because the thing about Crystal Connors

[00:09:27] Is she dances up to that edge But she never actually does anything Now is that a fault of a strange script That sort of forgets about her Maybe But Gina Gershaw is like the only one in this movie Who I think does anything worthwhile

[00:09:39] Ben and I were discussing this off mic Where we're like Is she actually good Like she's almost She's good Almost entirely helpful I've been trying to crack this one for 15 years But like she's Why is No Me Mad at her Oh that changes every other scene they have

[00:09:52] It's so unclear They're dynamic Like between the two characters They're totally confusing I think Gina is good The movie is positioning her I can't figure that one out either The movie is positioning her She's the predator for the first half

[00:10:04] And then it just sort of stops doing it And so By the end It kind of presents a tragic love story Right And it's almost like a serenade thing That's true I mean we'll get into it But I just like

[00:10:16] I love that the subtext of every female rivalry Becomes text in this It's just Yeah they want to fuck though They want to fuck though I respect that Very baseline I respect that about this movie I also think I think maybe He thought of it as a twist

[00:10:30] It's like You think she's the one who's trying to kind of like Manipulate her into bed Sure And Kyle McLaughlin is like the friendly guy Yeah Who's with her And then twist he sucks too And then twist he sucks but it's like We saw him

[00:10:43] We knew he sucks We were aware that he's gonna suck Like it's not exactly shocking that he sucks I think if that was The one nice thing he does is He's nice about Versace Sure That's his cool moment What do you mean Versace Versace Versace Yeah

[00:10:58] That was meant to be a twist The problem is the Paul Verhoeven is A director who does not like actors to play subtext Certainly less and less This career goes on as well Right You know Maybe he gets it a little back Once he leaves Hollywood But

[00:11:12] He does but not I mean cause I would say Starship Troopers is even less Correct Has even less subtext This has been in this film Which is impressive Correct Doesn't seem possible That movie is Actors As Props That's like Actors As Manicads

[00:11:24] That movie he has no respect for the actors Openly At least the lead actors He has no respect for Casper Van Diem Yes Which we're going to talk about But in this movie With our guest Casper Van Diem This movie He'll do it That'd be incredible

[00:11:38] This movie I feel like he does have respect for his actors Except maybe Elizabeth Berkley I have no idea what that relationship would have been like Well I was reading some interviews with him Cause I He's a weird man I was gonna You wanted me

[00:11:50] I think you wanted me to tell the story Of how I first saw this movie Because that is what convinced you I should do it But part of it was because Alright so this is such a roundabout way to get to where I was going

[00:12:00] Well I guess that's this podcast right Well come on Different place So when I was living in Los Angeles David's favorite place LA baby I love LA It's a song I wrote that Randy Newman sang Oh it was really good It's really about how I hate LA

[00:12:15] Oh some texts The thing about Randy Newman is He's a tricky little bastard Sure Sometimes he sings stuff that he doesn't mean Alright we are now side tracking A side track conversation No this is perfect So there are these outdoor screenings In the summer at Hollywood Forever Cemetery

[00:12:32] Really fun And for the 20th anniversary of Showgirls They did They were gonna do a showgirls thing It was packed I think it was sold out Which is about 4,000 people In the cemetery It was in the cemetery It was the single best place to watch Showgirls

[00:12:43] Cause that's what this movie is essentially Yeah I mean He's not wrong Thematically Not wrong Yeah it's always fun It's always fun But it's especially fun for the stuff that's super campy Cause everyone's been there for hours waiting To get in Everyone's drunk Summer

[00:13:00] It's a capital E event Right I think I saw like a sedate Hitchcock there once Then I definitely fell asleep And it wasn't the movie's fault It's not what we're looking for It's easy to fall asleep at those outdoors But Showgirls is perfect And right before it starts

[00:13:13] The guy's introducing And then he's like oh we have a special guest And out comes Elizabeth Berkeley The whole place goes fucking crazy So this is It's June Oh I looked it up Because someone had a video of it It's June 26, 2015

[00:13:25] Because that's also the day that the Supreme Court Backed same sex marriage So it's the 20th anniversary Everyone at this screening is In a great mood Right Elizabeth Berkeley comes out And that's by the way why the Supreme Court came down that way

[00:13:40] They were all in a folk name And then they realized that Showgirls Shit it's the 20th anniversary Alright alright Disrespect it No but I mean It was I And I had never seen it Okay Wow that's quite You'd heard of it I'd heard of it

[00:13:54] I'd heard bits about it But I had never seen it Which I gather is I hadn't even seen it on cable In pieces or anything Like I hadn't seen any of it I knew some of the quotes I knew some of the You know I knew the hands

[00:14:04] Which she did for us by the way She ended her speech It was like a mic drop But it was the hands I think we should use that Because I feel like she has a complicated relationship She really does And she basically

[00:14:14] She looked out and she was like This is incredible I've never watched this movie With anyone who liked it before Basically Aww It was actually like You should look it up It's really It was pretty touching Because she was like I had an incredible experience Making this movie

[00:14:27] I fought for this part She really thought Like this was going to make her The list of actresses Who turned down this role Isn't Charlize one of them? Yes And we're talking about Charlize and Angelina When they were not famous Right So But Elizabeth Berkeley got it

[00:14:43] And she did And she was like I mean I think she even stopped dancing after this This is why dancing with the stars was This is the hole I fell down Her whole career got kind of quiet I mean she's one of those people

[00:14:52] Where I think the public response Was so harsh to the movie That she kind of went Like I'm fine backing away Well also her agent fired her Yeah I mean she We're going to talk about it Which is fucked up Yeah no

[00:15:02] She got a lot of blame for this Which is not totally fair And she was talking about how I mean she was 23 She was like I was young And it was hard And 23 It was When it came out She was 23 Because she was like

[00:15:14] I had this incredible time Making this movie And then it came out And then it was more painful Than you can imagine Because everyone hated it so much So she was really excited to watch it In the cemetery with 4,000 drunk idiots Who loved her movie In every line

[00:15:26] Yeah Every line she was like There are 4,000 nomies here 4,000 crystals Your nails look amazing That's what they did It was really nice So then you know That's how I went into showgirls Which was pretty cool That's an interesting way To go into it though Because like

[00:15:39] The first time I watched Showgirls As I was telling Ben off mic I was 13 years old It was on British TV Late at night And yes I did grow up in Britain, Caroline Did you? As did you A little bit A little bit There are two of us

[00:15:53] Oh you've been in the box Yeah he grew up in England Go on But Caroline What? We're everywhere Can you double layer The big Ben shines? Perfect I mean I didn't grow up there As long as you did I think it was just like 3 or 4 pivotal years

[00:16:11] It was like 9 to 13 What were your years? Who were your years? My years? Let's see I moved there the week that Princess Diana died That's true 1997 So what were your ages? Like 9 to 13 She's 17 Oh 1913 Yeah those are yours And then I moved back to the same town

[00:16:28] I moved away from And puberty had hit me all wrong Hey man It was perfect Happens to us all Yeah so those were pivotal years though I didn't do boarding school I didn't do that You didn't Get in a phone call I'm sorry It's fine

[00:16:44] So you watched on TV But it was uncut It was British television It was British TV So it's uncut The only thing you're not allowed to show On British TV is an Iraq penis And even that I think you can show But maybe not on the BBC

[00:16:56] Maybe these rules have changed though This is I'm talking about when I'm a kid I just remember That used to be the rule Where it's like the BBC Will show anything but an Iraq penis That's the one bridge too And how old are you again? You're 13 13

[00:17:08] I'm not really Because it's 13 This is a few years after Showgirls came out Where I'm like Oh that's the famous Sex movie Great I can't wait to watch this It's going to be an awesome Experience for a 13 year old Horny boy Which is definitely how

[00:17:21] I watched it the first time And then I watched And even 13 year old David Feynman and Tim Was like Oh no this right This is not going to satisfy Whatever I was looking at To satisfy This is for me one of The least erotic Experiences movie Watch

[00:17:34] Incredibly aggressively Unsexedly Which people are Like No it's several points During this movie I'm like no one involved In the making of this film Has had sex Or knows what it looks like It's war On the breast Yeah I was in pain The eroticism of the breast

[00:17:51] I guess is the better way To put it Because it certainly It celebrates Oh I thought you meant Physical war And I was like There's a lot of bouncing But it all senses In terms of the imagery In terms of The energy of the film Like everything about

[00:18:04] How this film positions Sex And the dialogue between The two beings I think it has a lot of Honesty about Like the Yeah Autor commodification Going on in these Anyway So instead I was just transfixed By this really weird movie Like when I was 13 And then like

[00:18:21] Not long after that You know like I mean basically When I was a teenager I had friends who were Certainly any friend I can think of who Assessor this movie Was gay Not to Paint with a broad brush Or whatever I mean I already did Yeah

[00:18:35] A lot of Caroline re-painted the whole studio Like it was broadly And so I mean My I have seen this movie Many times My former roommate Andy Who I've shouted on the Spotcast before Because he was a big Clifford Fan Listen back to that episode folks

[00:18:51] His family named their dog after Clifford Which is still to me The weirdest thing in the world Cause Why is that weird? Well because one There's a famous dog called Clifford Well sure They named him after Martin Short's Character in the movie Clifford Oh okay

[00:19:04] It's like the name of your dog You know Beethoven Cause you like the composer I mean That's why Charles Gordon's family Named him Beethoven Oh my god you need And also in the plot of Clifford They named Clifford Clifford Because they like the books

[00:19:18] You should have named the dog Mason If you wanted to do it right Yeah that would You want to say Mason? That's it He loved my Former roommate Andy Love this movie And we used to do different places At each other a lot

[00:19:33] And a lot of other lines It was a big movie for him So I've always known this movie As like a beloved camp classic Even if it's never been one of my movies Exactly But like I've seen it a lot And it's sort of

[00:19:44] Yeah I've probably seen this movie Five times I definitely watched it the first time There was an entertainment weekly I think it was 2003 cover story The top 25 cult movies of all time Sure And I was like 13, 14 That was the exact age where

[00:19:58] I wanted to read that cover story And be like What are the movies that can Make me think I'm cooler Than other people Cause I appreciate them on a different Right And so for a while I was systematically trying to Go through all of them

[00:20:10] Either from renting them Or scanning when they were on TV And so I feel like I probably Watched it for the first time With that frame around it But also as like On cable TV And as a 24 year old boy Being like Well look I can't lose

[00:20:23] It's show girls I'm gonna get something out of this movie You can and you will Right And then by the time Like minute three happened I was like I'm not doing this On that level at all And then it just became this Like fascinating curio object

[00:20:36] And it was like I would watch movies Especially at that time Things I knew had cult statuses I'd watch them be like What are the lines I have to know To be able to quote back To people to show that I get it Of course you did

[00:20:47] Cause I even remember At the time like UCB had a long running show Called show girls The best movie ever made I think And it would be like Every Saturday at midnight They do like a show girls Restaging Like it was like peak New York city

[00:20:59] Show girls is like A barometer for whether or not You get it And I wanted to like You know predigest the stuff But then it was always just Like a thing with like friends If it was like finding a movie To watch I'd be like

[00:21:15] We should watch show girls And it became this curio object For me Cause it is high camp But also it's such A fundamentally fucking sad movie Like there's this weird Massacistic element To how many times I saw this When I was a teenager

[00:21:28] Because this movie made me so uncomfortable You're weird Because this movie weaponizes sex In a way that totally turns me off And also emotionally is like Devastating I mean that's the movie He thought he was making Right Which even if the movie Doesn't totally work It's still like

[00:21:43] A deeply bruising experience I mean if yes Yes And if you were just to Explain the story Without actually seeing the movie Right Explain the story Cause it's very light on story Yes It's like Woman moves to Vegas She wants to be a show girl And she does

[00:22:01] Right She's first she's a stripper She gets noticed by a show girl She becomes the show girl Yep She usurps head show girl By pushing her down the stairs And sleeps with her boyfriend In a totally normal way Yep They're sex The way they sleep together I mean

[00:22:18] No tricks And then almost immediately Realizes that You know the cost of fame Is too high and leaves They may have her friends gang rape Right We'll get to you Oh Yes It's like a weird remake of the red shoes Or a star is born Right

[00:22:35] Which he said Besterhouse wanted to make Like an old fashioned MGM musical The two of them were like What? Love old MGM musicals Can we do a grand old Let's put on a show musical Right But in the world of Vegas Showgirls That was then the next leap

[00:22:50] They made was contemporary Oh Vegas would be an interesting setting For it if it was that kind of world Somehow they write that down in napkin They get $2 million He writes that down And then this napkin ends up In pauverhoven's hand Uh-huh And right They just work together

[00:23:04] Right and he's like Great idea Unsexy thriller time Right exactly I will make dish movie And then you're in trouble Cause then in pauverhoven's like Hey hey hey Whatever you think you want I'm gonna give you something else Right he's the Randy Newman A filmmaker Griffin

[00:23:20] Get the door Okay That's weird I don't see anything here Oh Is that a go-go-go ghost? Oh yes it's me Alright alright Stop blowing up the mic's go-go-go ghost I'm the ghost of Julia Child I don't sound like this Because I'm a ghost You may remember

[00:23:45] This is how I always Sounded It's a real legend In the studio with us today Ben I can't believe it How you doing Julia Oh wonderful Oh my god What's up? Well I've been struggling lately I want to cook But I go to the grocery store

[00:24:06] And the produce falls through my ghost fingers I can't buy anything So you're saying you need someone to deliver The food to you Yes to my ghost apartment You have a ghost apartment? Yes Do you live ghost downtown? Yes Alright alright It's good to know

[00:24:23] Yes it's a ghost studio And a ghost walk up Well it sounds like you need Maybe the leading meal kit delivery service In the United States to help you out Oh yes It's called Blue Apron Maybe you've heard of it Yeah I've worn a blue apron before

[00:24:41] Well no that's fine I mean to be clear That's valid Thank you But the Blue Apron is a service That delivers ingredients to your door So that you can cook food at home I love cooking how did you know? Yeah I'm Julia Child Just random guess

[00:24:58] Also you've only been talking about food Since you entered Well with incredible ingredients And chef designed recipes Blue Apron can let you see What the power of food can do So I can see the power of food Even though most people cannot see me

[00:25:16] I really want you to just talk as little as possible Okay Well let me just tell you some things I've been using Blue Apron For the last couple weeks Humble breath Good call Thanks for calling me out on that Actually keep me real They send out fresh

[00:25:31] Pre-portioned ingredients And little packages With a recipe card And step by step instructions You can make all these meals In under 45 minutes Menu changes every week You put what you want From a variety of options It's great Under 45 minutes sounds perfect Because every hour on the hour

[00:25:48] I'm dragged down into hell For how long? Two, three hours Weird Okay Every hour I'm dragged for two, three hours And then go back to the previous hour As if the hours hadn't happened in between Airtight logic Sorry for your torment

[00:26:06] But does it help to hear that you can pick Two or three or four recipes a week Based on what fits your schedule Yes that helps a little Alright this will seal the deal It's non-GMO ingredients And meat with no added hormones

[00:26:20] Oh but I'm sure I'll have to pay Exactly what I felt Coverall paying Plus another $30 for my first order No, blank check Blue Apron is giving blank check listeners $30 off their first order All you have to do is visit Blueapron.com

[00:26:36] I have to check that I typed in Blue Apron Good Thank you for double checking with me on this No You check out this week's menu And you get $30 off at Blueapron.com It's Blue Apron, it's a better way to cook

[00:26:48] Oh I can't wait to go tell my friend Casper I want to Not the ghost The chef from the movie Chef John Favreau's name was Casper Good to know Bit of a misdirect there Double misdirect honestly Honestly yeah Look at an ad It's a little bit sweaty

[00:27:07] Can I tell you about a couple of recipes That got coming up You got strip steak and potatoes With spicy maple collard greens Okay I made that one, it was good Hummer fry Spicy chicken and stir-fried vegetables With jasmine rice Hummer fry If you want pasta

[00:27:25] We got creamy facili bucati pasta With fried rosemary and walnuts That sounds good Yes Can you eat? No Or do you just like cooking? I like cooking It's for others Well take advantage of Blue Apron Thank you No I just like making food for others The selfless art

[00:27:43] Blueapron.com Slash check That's where you want to go $30 off Hey Julia come on let's get out of here Oh my god David look it's Carl Casper John Favreau's character from the movie Chef Oh my god cut him off Okay we're leaving Hi Good Favreau

[00:27:59] So anyway Randy Newman Oh Randy Newman He's a sneaky mother fucker So you're right He's a sneaky little bastard No but you're right Esther Haas Came up with the idea in Maui On vacation He told Verhoeven told Esther Haas He'd always loved to make

[00:28:17] He'd always loved big MGM musicals And wanted to make one Esther Haas was like what if we made one in Vegas He writes something down on a napkin Gets two million dollars So blah blah blah blah blah Right like this So this movie already has this no-divide

[00:28:30] It's like the most expensive script Of all time Well and this was the time period where there was like The arms race between Shaman Shane Black And Esther Haas to see who could get the bigger Spec A script sale And the other challenge was

[00:28:42] How quickly can you write your script Cause the long kiss goodnight Was how Shane Black got like Five million for that or something And he wrote it like 18 hours or something It became like how little work Can we do to make the most money

[00:28:52] And Shane Black like hit rock bottom And was like my life is bankrupt I need to get away from this Yeah Shane Black actually just took ten years off Right Whereas Esther Haas had to basically be like Kicked out of Hollywood at gunpoint Right

[00:29:04] Cause he was like I've got more ideas folks I mean I assume that both he and Shane Black were just I mean this movie feels like it was written by someone Who has just can only consume cocaine Like food means nothing to him

[00:29:15] This was written between the hours of one and four in the morning Exclusively On one given night Every line Oh shit my homeworks do Yeah right Every line is to use a phrase that is more common In today's parlance Very extra Yeah Where it's like

[00:29:29] It's doing the most Exactly Rather than these people just saying like Hi how you doing My name's you know Like he's like what if every line was just like Extremely confrontational and aggressive Well and it's also like Even like when it's just two friends meeting Yes

[00:29:43] I mean there's a lot of soap opera in it Yes It has that lifetime movie kind of vibe But just jacked even higher And it's also like Okay what is everything I Coke-addled Joe Esther Haas has ever wanted to say to a woman

[00:29:57] And then the other half the dialogue is What if everything What's everything I fantasized about a woman saying to another woman The dialogue between women in this movie is Bananas I know I know Bananas I mean Caroline you already had a good take I mean like Well yeah

[00:30:13] Which one? The crystal conners is my everything The subtext as tech Oh yes There's like these weird flirtatious dynamics that Like no mainstream Hollywood movies would usually Right but of course they're written by men But every female rivalry like that I mean actually no

[00:30:30] Bring it on wasn't written by Was it written by men? It was directed by a man or a woman That's right okay But like you know you've got Blonde and a Burnett Who have a lot of chemistry Usually way more than the guy they're going for

[00:30:40] In the end And I respect that this movie is like yeah That's exactly what's happening Well then I think you know So then he writes the script And then Paul Verhoeven reads it And he's like yes You've got it Hollywood is all pimps And all women are prostitutes

[00:30:56] Yes Yes And then Joe Esther Haas is like I can't hear you right now Because there's cocaine in my ears I think I'm blowing it into each eardrum With straws And Paul Verhoeven is like yes I will make this movie You know like that's

[00:31:10] I just feel like that's the trick with him every time Yes Where he reads your trashy script And he's like no I understand The world is shit Yes Well everyone is very bad to everyone Well that's what you and I both had to buy this

[00:31:22] On DVD in order to watch it for this I bought it on Blue Ray Oh you bought it on Blue Ray I'm so sorry Okay so you probably had more Special features than I did I haven't watched any of the Special features yet

[00:31:30] But I have the 15th anniversary edition It is currently unavailable to rent from any legal Online stream platform No no Fandango now Fandango now I'm sorry I didn't check Fandango now I did not try it though I can't speak for it

[00:31:41] I watched it on the Much More Lines Tubi.tv Which I had heard mixed things from And every 10 minutes There's another 5 ads And the movie took me 4 hours to watch Which is unacceptable for showgirls A nightmare And there's too much introspection time Within those ads to go like

[00:31:58] What am I watching? Where am I in my life right now? And were they at I can't imagine they were at any logical break No absolutely not It's one of those automated, arbitrary Just like 12 minutes Every 9 minutes and 12 seconds It'll be like mid-word

[00:32:14] It'll suddenly go to a commercial And it'll be like 5 insurance company commercials But it's usually the same commercial 5 times in a row Oh good, no that's perfect I think I watched the best version So I got it illegal Got it illegally But it definitely was

[00:32:30] It was like a technicolor It was like an old It was super cranked up Oh it was so just saturated It looked like it reminded me of It reminded me of watching TV in the 90s Like I got kind of excited By how shitty it looked

[00:32:46] That is kind of a cool idea And this whole like the director Going like well actually I originally wanted to be in black and white And then like fucking re-color time Again black and white for some new Blu-ray release It'd be great if Verhoeven did a new show

[00:32:57] Girls where he was like I just want to emulate Like four strip technicolor process And make show girls look like it was shot in 1952 As he talked about wanting He was like if Elizabeth Berkeley were still like 25 I'd do another one and be called Bimbos

[00:33:10] I read that somewhere I hope that's real I hope I didn't just What a bunch of glorious moments It'd be great but yeah So we both watched it on DVD But I watched like You know there was one special feature And it was just a making of feature

[00:33:21] And it was kind of depressing Because there was so much work put in And everyone was so excited about what they were making And Kyle McGlocklin at one point And he's talked a lot about how He didn't realize what movie they were making

[00:33:32] And was horrified at the premiere Otherwise why would he have said Why would he do it? This movie at this point in time It's insane for him to do this So he's talking about the movie And he's just like well You know it's

[00:33:40] You know people like men manipulate women Women manipulate men Everyone manipulates each other And I was like that is not what this movie's about But Now I understand why you did it Because you thought you were making that movie Right I think the year before this

[00:33:55] He plays the villain in the Flintstones And that is a character with more subtlety And nuance Is more sympathetic Yeah Yeah like why would he do this It's just like this character Well because he was like oh this director I like this director

[00:34:08] I guess right you go like He's a mad genius Yeah he like I think yeah he said I was like I love basic instincts I loved Like total recall I wanted to work with this guy But then you read the script Right Like at what point

[00:34:19] But up until this point He's actually really good to his stars And this is the film where his stars Start becoming tools for his own subversion You know Yeah Here's the list they have on Wikipedia In terms of other people who were offered No Me Pamela Anderson

[00:34:35] Drew Barrymore Angelina Jolie Vanessa Marsil Jenny McCarthy Denise Richards And Charlize Theron Who none of them are like Really there at that point in time Even the people who had the highest profiles Are like Jenny McCarthy as an MTV host You know And I mean if they were

[00:34:52] Then I don't know where their career would be now Right And she was like Saved by the Bell Star So this was a big thing to be like I'm gonna move into like Real legitimate studio adult filmmaking Not adult filmmaking but Kind of That's the thing

[00:35:06] And I think that She almost became a like cautionary tale Against doing this kind of movie Before you've proven yourself as a legitimate actress Because it like Gettawises I'm back sorry She talked Derek Kushner At the cemetery Oh Yes He's apparently the guy getting implicated Oh exciting

[00:35:27] So this episode is coming out I got hung up reading my phone while I was being Because Derek Kushner is like The senior official That was a very long bathroom break Who knows where we're gonna come from This episode is being recorded

[00:35:37] On the day that Flynn is testifying Our cleaning guilt to your word Right right right It's cleaning guilt to you Which I did not know until the subway on the way here Anyway It's about end of February So we're at like a fulcrum point right now

[00:35:50] Where we're just fucking burning up Who knows That's a good point Any predictions We may not like release these episodes Sarah Huckabee Sanders You know what I mean Like the world might have ended Wait hold on We got on the record On the record

[00:36:04] Oh yeah on the record Sarah Huckabee Sanders Yeah President Sanders President United States We finally got a president Sanders It goes all the way down Can I do my on the record And like the vice president is like A White House janitor or something

[00:36:16] All the other people are left Can I do my This is gonna be depressing though Cause like when it comes out It'll be like God Emperor Trump Has you know Just like had a new heart transplant So he can live for a thousand years

[00:36:28] Do you remember when we recorded Our whatever episode Where we realized it wouldn't come out Oh it was the taruk the first flight And we realized it wouldn't come out Until after the election Oh no And I was like oh my god We can't even discuss the possibility

[00:36:40] That Trump's president in the world Where this episode comes out But like now we're in the opposite position Where it's like Yeah Where ourselves get up like Yeah Months from now anything could happen Anything could happen Who knows I think Elizabeth Berkeley is gonna be present

[00:36:53] By the time it's gonna come out I think that's a great call I don't know where she's ready She's been there in a time You know It's time for a revisit Alright so I just remembered my What were you guys talking about I had Glocklin

[00:37:04] We were talking about the list of actresses Who turned it down Right But my cousin I have a cousin who's like A decade or so older than me And I remember him when I was in high school Humblebred Humblebred And I had seen showgirls

[00:37:18] And I was really into it Talking about how he was like Out at the bar with his friends Clubbing whatever And one guy showed up With his new girlfriend Who was Elizabeth Berkeley And he spent like The whole night talking to Elizabeth Berkeley

[00:37:30] And it was this thing of like Yeah I just like She's been a joke for so long It was like so during the sit with her And have a conversation with her And have her be like so Self-aware Yeah And have her be like

[00:37:43] Facing about the entire thing And sort of at peace with the thing in a weird way And I remember hearing that for a number of years Around that time Like people saying like Yeah I met Elizabeth Berkeley And it's just kind of like

[00:37:53] She doesn't have a chip on her shoulder She's not like angry She just kind of was like This isn't worth it But she's like so sweet and so smart And it kind of fucking sucks what happened I mean I think she was heartbroken

[00:38:03] Yeah I think she was really sad Yeah Because yeah She really loved making this movie She wanted it to be good And then everyone is so fucking mean And this is also one of the most Most feminist performances of all time It is It's an incredibly earned

[00:38:14] The thing that's odd to me is I actually kind of like her in the Tom Dicillio However you say that Dicillio Dicillio The Tom Dicillio movie The Real Blonde Which is a couple years after this Oh I've never seen that one And it's like

[00:38:27] You know she was in the first wives club I think it's a pretty minor role That was like yeah right That year right after this Right Like it's not like she's That bad in all these movies You know what I mean Like you see showgirls And you're like

[00:38:39] Does this person Like it really feels a lot of the time Like she's not reading what the other actors are giving her Which is like a very big Where like her energy is way too high Or too low or something I mean yeah

[00:38:49] I was reading an interview with Verhoeven He was like everyone blamed that on her But I made her kind of do that jerkiness Exactly When you see other movies You're like no it's not her That's not her Yeah there's more going on there

[00:39:00] This does feel like a movie Where every performance was filmed separately Yes It does a little bit It's really bizarre And I also think it's a movie That feels like You're watching a Poorly dubbed version Of like a foreign language cartoon Well there's also the famous

[00:39:16] But bad dub of the movie right Where Berkeley refused to redub it For I guess the censored version Sure So like is it totally different actress Right There was like a big VH1 version That built its own sort of like Cult around it with really bad

[00:39:30] Is that the one that drawn on bras Yes Yes Like terrible Because like there's no way You can even have that movie No It looks like What's it called? Wally-Willy You know that thing where you draw The guy's facial hair with the magnet The magnet pen

[00:39:44] It looks like that It's just like barely sticking over Like it's like one step above MSP Yes It looks like Jessica Rabbit Like that sort of looks like I mean here is a gift right now Well no you know what I mean Like it looks like a cartoon

[00:39:56] Yes That's sort of like vibrating If that makes sense Right Like it has this sort of weird Like motion to it Yeah almost like Wally-Willy Like almost like I nailed it In the first nail I nailed it Fends into this Good gift Good gift

[00:40:12] I mean this one's even crazier Let's just look at gifts Alright, oh yeah you're right I'll stop Yeah No no I mean I'm into it That was a sincere suggestion But this I was saying Well you were in the bathroom

[00:40:23] And we were all getting our hopes up about When that This is the turning point where Verhoeven starts using his actors To his own means Because I'd argue up until this point He's actually pretty good to his actors In terms of representing them well Giving them good platforms

[00:40:40] Giving them authorship and their performance You know Whereas this it starts to get to Like you are my puppets For every performance in this movie Which considering what this movie is about Sure Yeah All of why is this movie Two hours and ten minutes long Great question

[00:40:55] So I read this interview with Verhoeven We'll get to the plot in a second This movie could be 15 minutes long Well it could be like Right the length of like a Vegas show This movie could be a Nickelodeon I read this interview with him Where he was like

[00:41:07] I think the reason that movie just not work I just do the gold member voice No I love this Yeah into it Blitching up I keep perking up when it happens No no please The movie has a shinoriel plot

[00:41:18] And I think it should have had a murder mystery And that would have made it more You know gripping for the audience And I'm like dude I don't think that's the problem But also that is hilarious And I would love to watch

[00:41:28] Showgirls where there's also a murder mystery Well it's like Crystal dies In the first third Sure So that would have been a worse movie No me I had not seen it in a while Despite having seen it several times And I was watching it And I was like

[00:41:39] I remember this having this whole revenge thriller element But I guess I was wrong about that And then 8 minutes before the ending I was like No I was right about that He literally just does it in the last 8 minutes And she doesn't become the showgirl

[00:41:50] Until way deep into it And then the corruption is like 10 minutes long Yes That's weird It is Well and also The movie is from the beginning Different places Dropping hints about her kind of dark past Sure She doesn't want to give a real name

[00:42:07] She doesn't have a social security number She's very tense about all that stuff Nobody alone is obviously a fake name Right And then we're finally ready to reveal Her dark past She's like kind of a transient person who's She's an orphan She's a foster kid

[00:42:19] Her life is just really sad Like a totally bad riddance And she aggravated assault You know in her past And you're like Well okay It's soliciting and the whole time She's like I'm not a whore Right And of course that is a crucial element

[00:42:31] But it's not exactly like Surprising enough to build your home It's not earned at all I think he thought that would then justify All of her kind of erratic behavior Sure Right But it doesn't That happens so late It's so late The assault, the revenge

[00:42:47] The reveal of her past Her getting the big role All happens maybe in the last 20 minutes Yeah Of the 2 hour and 10 minute film Yeah It's way later than I remembered it being That section moves so fast too It's really 2 hours because the credits are Unspeakably long Yes

[00:43:02] For some reason the credits are almost 10 minute long And 2BTV took 4 fucking commercial breaks During the credits So Showgirls Sugar So right so any more Esther House writes it They get Berkeley They get Gina A lot of French financing which makes sense Because

[00:43:20] You know a more permissive culture They love dudes Cause Bound is the next year So Gina Gershon is still Kind of yeah She still wants that She hadn't had a breakthrough This was supposed to be the thing She's just playing like pretty gay So do some Yeah Right

[00:43:36] I mean it's the next year But it's crazy how close together this and Bound are And how different those 2 performances are In terms of one being a human being And one being a hollow president's Robot version of sexuality You know Okay I love her but that's accurate

[00:43:48] Right that is That's fair No disrespect for my dino Thank you And then Kamma Collacklin Obviously Coming off the Flintstones Esther House and Verhoeven did extensive interviews With 200 Vegas strippers Wow And incorporated their lives And they still didn't manage to Make a single believable one

[00:44:07] Esther House took out a full page Advertisement and Variety dubbing the film A morality tale Saying that it was being poorly advertised And that the film was actually About how dancers in Vegas are victimized And humiliated and raped By men who were the power centers of that world

[00:44:25] I mean yeah I'd say it's an amorality tale Because the movie is just about Watching awful things happen I mean she does get to like Get hers at some point Like she has the revenge fantasy She does like I don't know Well no she doesn't take his car

[00:44:40] But like she gets the stuff Like But I contend this is one of the most Omnis and heartbreaking endings In the history of cinema In terms of literally the final shot Yeah I think he thinks it's like Triumphant though He's like oh well she's got the knife

[00:44:52] And now she's going to LA I think it's really cynical We'll get to that when we get to that We will This movie starts at the bottom And goes lower Right this movie is essentially like A journey through the circles of hell Right well so No Mimolone Yes

[00:45:06] Side of the road Hitchhiker Young Drifter Go to Vegas Right It's picked up by her driver A real grease boy Who immediately essentially robs her Right it's just like a flock And is disrespecting her The person I was watching with Was like oh is that Blake Shelton

[00:45:21] Obviously it's not But then I couldn't unsee it That guy did though Sexiest man alive He came in second The guy from show girls came in second You know about the Woman on the subway Who said I look like Blake Shelton right? What?

[00:45:35] Did I not tell that story on this podcast? No I was with I was with Past and Future guest Esther Zuckerman On the subway riding home From a screening Oh so there's a witness Yes And a woman A middle aged woman On the subway

[00:45:49] Was talking with her friend And she was like You look like Blake Shelton And I was kind of like For a while she was like Who is that? You know they were debating Blake Shelton To be fair you were holding a Wishing Boot at the moment

[00:46:01] You were holding a Wishing Boot And I stopped carrying that Wishing Boot It's always Jump the Wishing Boot David It's always a A crapshoot Engaging with people on the subway Who you don't know Right Like it's always like Do I roll the dice? She seemed friendly Enough

[00:46:20] Well she thought you looked like Blake Shelton And so I was like Laughed and I was like Get her I'll take it Like get her cause Whatever right And she was like You're cute Have you No sorry I want to get this Exactly right You're cute

[00:46:34] I can tell You slept with a black woman Which was just like I mean Harsh sharp turn is Is too light You cannot have seen that one coming For whatever that was It was basically Your turn That was a 0 to 100 No meme alone Esther's Aquaman of course

[00:46:49] Immediately burst out laughing And then it's like What do I do Like what do I do now Great So I just sort of like You know like It's just like God anyway So Blake Shelton Gives Nomi a red He pulls a classic Grift Otter Where he like

[00:47:04] Gives her 10 bucks To play the slot machines And while she's playing The slot machines He takes all her shit Which I have to say She has one suitcase It's probably full of like Yeah what's it for Women's clothes She's hitchhiking She doesn't have anything Worth taking

[00:47:17] I go to that trouble I also think if she had money She wouldn't be hitchhiking This is true At this early moment In the film when you go like Oh God naive babe in the woods Think she's gonna make it honestly Like oh yeah

[00:47:29] She would fall for this ruse But by the end of it You're like she's Fucking lived Or too much bullshit To trust this guy To leave her suitcase But remember She doesn't trust him at first Because she pulls the switchblade Right yes And then finally

[00:47:41] He has that really I think it's actually A really great line where he says No one's ever been nice to you Before And she's such an effective Neg of her Where she's like You know he's basically saying Come on I'm just I'm just being friendly

[00:47:53] Like take it easy And of course Yup Lesson one No he's not All men are lying Well and then also Showgirls in a microcosm She puts one coin In the slot machine And so many coins come out She's fucking Scrooge McDucking it She's dropping them all over

[00:48:08] The floor This is true She's made it Her fortunes have changed Immediately and a woman comes up And goes what about silver dollars And then just jump cut to no fucking money Like Vegas Right you know And then she realizes Oh how much time has passed

[00:48:20] Where is this guy Goes back He's missing from the spot Okay Starts freaking out These 30 seconds Are the most confusing 30 seconds I've had in a movie for such a long time Okay I had to pause it Two minutes into the movie I had to watch it four times

[00:48:34] So she realizes her suitcase is gone She runs outside She freaks out She starts sort of like Banging her fists on someone's car She's freaking out because This parking space is empty Yes the car is gone Her stuff is gone So she starts attacking the next closest car

[00:48:46] The owner of that car Who's her soon to be best friend Comes out and is like Get off my car Almost punches her in the face Almost punches her in the face They freak out They start fighting Then know me Projectile vomits Yes Like This is true

[00:49:00] Projectile vomits Like brown gross vomit And the friend I was watching this with Has like a phobia of vomit Like a legitimate phobia And a metaphobic person Yes Oh nice Good pull And she panicked Screamed We had to pause it It's a little rough if you are

[00:49:14] Afraid of throwing up Because people prop in movies Like kind of a lot But she's like Usually I know when it's coming Because there's a tell And in this there's no tell No It just happens You don't even know that she was drinking Or anything

[00:49:25] Well that's the thing She wasn't drinking It's never explained This movie has a lot of cuts To like the future Right It's two hours and ten minutes And it feels like There are three hours missing This movie That is fair And then she runs into the street

[00:49:37] She almost gets hit by a car And then they No it's fucking crazy How many So even before then There's this scene where She like pulls He pulls the car Over to the side of the road Like in front of a truck Right Like there should be like

[00:49:49] 18 car accidents She almost dies four times In the first two minutes Of this movie It's so stressful So stressful Molly wraps her in her arms And they gaze at each other With the most loving Gaze I've ever seen And they hug With their faces so close together

[00:50:05] That when they're lining up For the hug I genuinely thought Are they about to make out After she just Literally miss each other's mouths When they start hugging Right and her mouth is still Flecked with vomit Right Poop water vomit She vomits out diarrhea It's black It's chunky

[00:50:19] It's very disturbing It's like exorcist style Like there's a demon in you And you're throwing it up now And then hard cut to burger joint Hard cut to burger joint You just threw up And now we're eating Eating fries They're eating like A giant plate of cheese fries

[00:50:33] Or something Having again one of the Flirtiest conversations She is eating the shit Out of those fries She's like angrily Exploding ketchup onto the fries This is the first different places Exploding ketchup onto the fries This is the first different place Does she seem upset though? Not yet

[00:50:46] It's a hard to I'm not sure I'm looking for a tell in this scene Is she angry While she's eating those fries Well, I mean If you look beneath Right Just sort of the surface level Subtext it Yes I feel like I'm playing the anger Are you sure

[00:51:04] She's not treating I'm watching on the monitor She's not treating Elizabeth Berkely did tell us all That she hopes that we all eat our fries As energetically as Nomi And I have that It's a lot of I just wrote She has seen this movie a lot

[00:51:19] It sounds like She knows At least she knows the moments Where people The famous Made fun of it Or like Yeah, she knows She knows So cut from that From different places too Nomi and Molly Who's played by Gina Rivera Who is like A total unknown practically

[00:51:37] She had been in She had played the role of Fun Queen in Lombada She is, in my opinion The best performance in the movie I agree with that Well, Gina Gershwin is Pretty fucking incredible They're doing very different things But I think her performance

[00:51:49] Is harmful in some ways And again, I think this is Kind of her Hovins fault Where like Nomi has dialed up to Like ten million Whereas Rivera is playing Molly Like pretty normal And like is quite a relatable Human being from the second you meet her Yes

[00:52:04] And you're like Nice people friends And two What is wrong with Nomi Or slash Elizabeth Berkeley Like is she Like Is there a fire Like what is happening there Well, and we seemingly hard cut From this Burger conversation Where Nomi seems like a lunatic To

[00:52:21] Oh, now they've been living together For three weeks And they're best friends And she's gotten a job Not only that She is a stripper Which is not explained Until we see her at the Stripe Club Correct Like we cut ahead to Already she's trying to get

[00:52:33] at the show girls at the show, but she's a stripper. But we don't see her become a stripper. It's just kind of like that's just what happens. And Molly works. Which I think is to be clear, a good decision story why. Sure. I actually like that. Me too.

[00:52:45] I'm glad there isn't a scene where she like has to meet Robert Davy and he's like, listen this is how I rub my joint, you know Cheetahs. I'll meet ugly. Molly works at the show. She even from the moment that Blake Shelton picks her up

[00:53:00] in the truck is like, I'm a dancer. That's what I wanna do. And he's sort of making back in a comment. She's very clear of mind like I don't wanna be a stripper. When we flash ahead like however many weeks and also in the Vegas thing,

[00:53:10] there's that guy where some guy tries to pick her up. Right. And he's like, you're gonna have to start selling it sooner or later. Yeah. But then we like jump ahead. She's doing the job that she didn't wanna do despite her best friend and roommate being the person

[00:53:21] who works at the place that she's trying to break into. But seemingly hasn't taken a swing at that yet. Yeah. So she's working at Cheetahs. I wanna read you the Wikipedia entry for Cheetahs. Just for a second. Oh, the real Cheetahs? Yeah. It's a real place.

[00:53:36] Cheetahs topless club is a topless bar located two branches, one in Vegas, one in San Diego. That's known for being featured in the 1995 Moving Showgirls. Also known for having been known by Mike Gallardi, a nightclub owner who was investigated by the FBI.

[00:53:51] The Cheetahs club in San Diego is a full nude club, no alcohol has served. It is a cheap notoriety for being frequented by some of the September 11th hijackers. What a Wikipedia entry for your business. That took several turns. Yep, a lot of turns.

[00:54:07] Do you think they were showgirls fans? The September 11th hijackers? Yeah. It's just really funny that when you go to see also, link one, planning of the September 11th attacks, plan two, showgirls. I mean like link two, showgirls. Right, right, right, right. Anyway, sorry.

[00:54:24] Her best friend is a body comedian. Yes. Okay, and this was so... Okay, so this is where I want Caroline to talk. Yes, I need Caroline to come in. I feel like you have much more understanding of the world of like burlesque and...

[00:54:37] Yeah, I mean, to be clear, I'm very adjacent. I have a lot of friends who are in nightlife. Yes. And I was watching the movie this week with a couple of them, which was useful because they're actually connoisseurs of bad movies. Okay, sure.

[00:54:50] And also working drag and burlesque and stuff. And the first thing they said about this strip club and that and the body comedian who I think is an orange is the new black. Is she? Oh, I need to now need to look her up because she's awesome.

[00:55:02] She's really good in it. But the first thing they said, they're like there's no fucking way that that comedian is at that strip club. Like that strip club would not employ that person. It's really odd too, because it's right. Like all this, all of the show, you know,

[00:55:15] at the strip club is just like two women naked grinding on each other. Well, yeah, so that's the other thing. Then like let's all, let's turn over to this stage though. And she comes out and she's doing like a vaudeville act. She's doing a vaudeville thing.

[00:55:24] She has a dress, you know, she, you know, drops. Her boobs come out, the whole thing. She's like doing numbers. There's like jokes. Like it's more drag than it is. Right. Her name is Lynn. That would happen in a more high end artistic sort of. Yeah, right.

[00:55:37] Her name is Lynn Tucci. She's the funniest person at the Moulin Rouge, you know? Sure, she's the new black. Yeah. Time to carry on. Yeah, so that's very confusing. I mean, I didn't really understand what the strip club was for a second because you're just seeing the,

[00:55:48] well yes, thank you. But we get a touch of the tuch in her performance. Lynn Tucci. Yeah, a touch of the Lynn Tuch. Oh, OK. I was like, are we talking about Berlust now? We're talking about the movie Berlust starring Stanley Tucci.

[00:55:59] You get more than a touch in that one. Yeah, that's true. You got a soup sump. Soup sump. So this is her work friend. Soup sump. This is her work friend. Yeah, sort of the work den mother. Henrietta Mama, the zoom. I'm sure that was her birthday. Yes.

[00:56:17] They call her Henry. Yeah. And her boss is Robert Davi. Yeah. In an Oscar or was it a Nobel Prize winning performance? In my favorite performance in any film. I'm going to keep saying that every actor is my favorite actor in the movie.

[00:56:30] So we started with Molly, then it was Lynn Tucci. Now it's Robert Davi. Right. But he's in that great tradition of acne scarred tough guys. He's generically awful. Generically on the table in the late 80s, early 90s. Right. He was born wearing a leopard print button down. Right?

[00:56:47] I mean... Yes. Yes. He plays his character called Al. These are Al's girls. You can call him Al. He's Al? Al. Doesn't seem like an Al. What does he seem like to you? Like a Vinny. Yeah, I mean, yeah, not to stereotype, but yeah.

[00:57:01] Yes, he could be a Vinny. I'll just keep stereotyping for you. Go on, keep talking. He's a writer with a heart of shit. And we see a new employee come in whose name is Penny. But he tells her that...

[00:57:19] I believe he says clients don't want to fuck a Penny. Yes, they want to fuck a Hope. Right. Now, do you know that the actress who plays Penny? Yes. This is the best. Years later, wrote, directed and starred in an unofficial showgirls 2, reprising her character.

[00:57:36] And do you know what the title of that film is? Isn't it called like, Pennies from Heaven or something like that? Which sounds like a porn title. Penny, apostrophe S, as in Penny comes from Heaven. Right. Okay. That is where she is coming from.

[00:57:49] It's okay that you thought that was a porn title because her name in it is Penny Slot. Here's, I just clicked on this movie. Yeah. Which is very easy to rent. Which was funded with Kickstarter. Cool. This movie is longer than showgirls. It is 143 minutes long.

[00:58:09] It was directed by fucking Bella Tarr. That's it. Done. Art film too. Yeah. Yeah. 143 minutes long. Should we watch it? I mean, probably. Bonus episode? Yeah, bonus. How to do it the box office. I believe it was not really seatric. I believe he's correct.

[00:58:25] There was also a moment when she walked in and I thought she was Gina Gershon in a blonde bob wig. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. There was a moment. Lot of wigs in this movie. Lot of wigs. Well, yes. Lot of wigs. Actually pretty good wigs. I was gonna say. Yeah.

[00:58:36] That's the thing about this movie is that it's when I was watching with these friends who like, they watch terrible. I've watched them like truly like, you know one should. Sure. This is kind of like a crystal version of like, you know like this is.

[00:58:48] I've seen worse movies but it's like they're like, but they're like we've never seen a movie this bad with this Hyah budget. Well, that's the thing. It's such an expensive movie and it's all on the screen in my opinion. Yes. It's actually a good looking movie.

[00:58:59] You can see it. This isn't like, yeah, it's not even like. Those Vegas shows are real shows. There's money to make. Right. Those, you know, everyone who goes to Vegas is spending incredible amounts of money. Yes. Well, for me they're like two different fundamental

[00:59:12] types of bad movies, right? Which are like bad movies where the thing just kind of like went wrong and it's a Frankenstein and it's just like not fucking cohesive. Like a Justice League type of thing. Right? Either, you know, the people involved didn't have enough experience. Right.

[00:59:27] The budget ran out or in a studio meddling or whatever. And then there are bad movies like this where it just feels like the movie somehow got caught up in some like babble fish. Yeah. Like weird space where everything got mistranslated because the movie is kind of totally

[00:59:42] of a piece with its own fucking insane wavelength that's on. Sure. And all that money's up there. No movie has ever been made like this again. No. Berlesque is kind of trying to be like more sanitized version of this movie. See, that's the thing.

[00:59:57] Berlesque is trying to be this movie and Showgirls absolutely stumbled into it. No, Berlesque is not a good movie. I did see it in theaters. Yes. I enjoyed share beating Kristen Bell's car with a crowbar. Correct. How could you not? It's a good movie about air rights,

[01:00:10] which are important to understand if you want to know about anything in real estate. What's about the sky? But yeah, Berlesque is like trying to grab at the sort of Huberk Zirconia at the center of Showgirls and take it out. Exactly. But you can't.

[01:00:24] But like any camp thing worth being campy has no idea it's that. Exactly. Right. That's why the first Sharknado is pretty fun and every other one was a soul-sucking exercise in corporate production. Sharknado is the perfect example, right? Where they're like, more Sharknado, right? Ha ha ha ha.

[01:00:40] We always meant for it. I mean it's sort of like the room but even worse where they're like, it was a joke. We know it was a joke. And it's like, no. I auditioned I think for Sharknado 3 and they told me I was too big.

[01:00:52] Like you're too famous? No, no, no. I got the note of my performance. Hey, tone it down a little. What did you audition? What was the part? And this is a movie that was pretty. Some kid being chased by a Sharknado? I don't know.

[01:01:03] I went, oh no, the Sharknado. Let's hide out in that library. And they went, hey, stop the camera for a second. Griffin, look, our director takes these movies very, very seriously and he doesn't like to feel like the actors are mocking it.

[01:01:17] Wow, that guy sounds like an idiot. Yeah. Anthony Ferrante. Yes. He's directed them all. I know, I thought it was Thunder Lightning. No, he wrote them. Thunder, Thunder Levin. Sorry, Thunder Lightning. Of the Pennsylvania Levin. Only slightly less ridiculous than what I just said. All right, so Nomi.

[01:01:39] She's a stripper at the Cheetah. We're not far from the Cheetah. We only have two hours left. She's a stripper. Molly works as an embroiderer. She's like a dressmaker at the Goddess, the Stardust Casino. The show is called Goddess. Let's also say we're watching Penny now.

[01:02:00] The show appears to be about some sort of Goddess who emerges from a pile of rocks. A volcano? Yes. I love the fake rocks. Respect the volcano. We, Penny functions as this like, this is probably what the first three weeks were like

[01:02:17] for Elizabeth Berkeley that we've now skipped over. It is confusing bringing her in at that moment because it feels like that's the point of the movie we're supposed to be at. Right, right, right. When it said, right, we're already seeing it echoed again and again throughout.

[01:02:28] Like Robert Davies' job is basically just to change women's names. Tell them who men want to fuck. Right. But Molly takes her backstage to the show. Yes. Oh, that's right. She takes her as like a special guest. She gets dressed up. She goes to the show.

[01:02:42] She's wearing the fringe she dress. There's not enough time to put your hair up. Your dress. And she meets Crystal. Yes. Who is being introduced. She's like just been hired I think as the new Star of Goddess? I guess she has. Press conference.

[01:02:56] Right, because there's a press conference that's not totally clear because it feels like she's been doing it for a while. Well, she's certainly a famous person but maybe they've like poached her from another casino or something like that. But was this show running with someone

[01:03:06] who wasn't Crystal in this role or is this whole show now? I don't, I can't remember. I think the whole, I have another question. Does local news put up like reports about this kind of show? Is that a thing that happens in Las Vegas? I don't know.

[01:03:21] Have you seen Gina Gershon? Yeah. You don't want that on your... I feel like this whole podcast is just me being like, so Gina Gershon. Yeah. Yeah, well, welcome to our bound episode. I mean, I'm not against it. I think in Vegas possibly.

[01:03:32] I think in Vegas in the 90s more possible. Because you cycle through residencies, you know now we've got like Britney Spears and J.Lo doing residencies but you know. Well, no doubt about that. But it's more like right. But then also the nude reviews is it like,

[01:03:44] hi I'm Chip, you know. Sure. Chip Smith, I don't know. Hey Chip. Chip Smith is my new character. I love it. So what's going on in the sea Chip? This show where a bunch of topless women dance around a volcano for 20 minutes. It's got a new star.

[01:04:01] We gotta bring Chip Smith back for some ad reads. This guy's popping already. He's famous for how he forgets his last name when he's introducing himself on camera. Hi I'm Chip Smith. His first name is much more just in the last name. Here you go. Oh my god.

[01:04:19] We have fun here on Blanktrip. I'm just checking my phone. Chip, what's his last name again? Smith. Chip Smith is number one on the IMDB Star Meter. But on the star meter it says Chip, what's his last name again? Chip, ellipses, Smith's question mark. Good.

[01:04:42] I love how if you went out to go to the bathroom it would be for a bit where you come back as Chip Smith but I just had to pee. David, I've never done a bit on this. No that's true. I've never done a bit. Respect. So.

[01:04:52] His artistry is a little respect. I don't have no respect. Nothing but respect for me. The almost-arvested Nato3. Yeah. Could have been too big. I'm trying to remember, sorry guys, I'm trying to remember the exact progression. I know. That's the problem with this movie.

[01:05:04] Gina Gershon compliments her nails. Well, it's because Molly is going in to like fix some stuff and Gina Gershon's changing room or whatever. And Gina's straggling. She doesn't, Gina Gershon is sitting there. There's a bad nipple. There's a marriage-rest relationship. She's strange, yes. She's given nipple notes. Yes.

[01:05:19] To Molly. And then she notices the nails. They start talking. She goes, what do you do? I'm a dancer. Where she does. I don't know what you do. But that's not dancing. Right. I don't know if you do it well but that ain't dancing.

[01:05:30] And Berkeley goes from one to five million. Yes, she does. She's like, you don't know shit. You don't know shit. Right. Storms out. She's starting to buy us. I mean, it looks like Berkeley storms out of every single room she's in in this movie.

[01:05:44] I swear to God, imagine her like going to the DMV or something. Yeah. She almost plays this... She almost plays this performance like the beleaguered chief of police in a buddy cop movie. You don't know shit. Yeah. How many times have I told you?

[01:06:03] One more incident like this. May as on my ass. Yeah. So, but this... If this blows up your badges are on my desk. She goes right to cheetahs from this. OK, wait, wait, we're glossing over one of my favorite lines. Please. Oh, thank you.

[01:06:18] Everyone got very quiet for it. The floor is yours. Well, just I had forgotten. We all expect women on this podcast. Oh, thank you so much. This is a very... This is the locus of the podcast. No, no, no. Come on, what's your favorite line?

[01:06:29] See now there's a big buildup. I just want to point out... There's so many lines in this movie. Well, yeah, I just wanted to point out that, you know, she storms out and Gina is like still pretty intrigued or whatever. And she's like, your friend is nice nails.

[01:06:39] Maybe she can do mine sometime, which is the gayest line I've ever heard in any movie ever. I'm nodding with sort of my whole upper body. Yes, your whole body. That's also an example. Which is exciting because like, you know,

[01:06:49] I had kind of forgotten how thirsty she is for no meat. Like the whole thing. Right. The whole thing is her just wanting to sleep with her, which I had kind of forgotten. And then that line happens and it's one of those things

[01:06:59] where you watched and you're like, okay, so that's like... Yeah, it's also right. But then it actually follows through. And that never is the case. That's what he said about like subtext versus text. It's like, right, it's like all about Eve if... Yes, exactly.

[01:07:11] There was a sexual dynamic. Or like Top Gun. That was even more... If they fuck, you know? Which they did, right? Oh, you mean Tom and Val. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Down to the brunette blonde and Top Gun too.

[01:07:24] I actually like that in Call Me By Your Name, the first scene of their sort of romantic connection is at a volleyball game. Oh, that was a Subtle O-Mosh Top Gun. Oh yeah. Spoiler. Oh, you haven't seen it? For the first scene of the movie.

[01:07:37] No, it's like the sixth scene. I just like that so much of the dialogue between women in this film feels like so masturbatory about like Esther House like writing like penthouse letters. Yes. And then this is an example of like, ah, gotta have them flirting with each other.

[01:07:50] What do women talk about? And she's gonna be topless. She's gonna be topless. Yeah. They're topless talking about nails. No one the one in sight. No one ever. That's like the one line where I was like, that feels right. Yeah. No one ever seems comfortable in this movie.

[01:08:02] It's like Monkeys at a Typewriter and one comes up with shakes for you. I was like, yeah, complimenting her nails. That would work. Yeah. All right, so she goes to a club and gets in a huge fight with Glen Plummer and gets kicked out by a bouncer.

[01:08:13] Again, another example of her just being so aggro. And kick some of the nards. Oh, wait, no, it's not she does. It's like, wait, yeah. So she goes, they go dancing. They go dancing. She gets in a fight with Glen Plummer who then bails her out of jail.

[01:08:26] Yes. Wait, but isn't that no, doesn't she go to Cheetah's first because she goes to that club with the money she got from the Gershon Laptons? No, that comes after. No, my message is she skips work. She won't go to work. She's too pissed off. Right.

[01:08:37] And she goes to this club and she does. She's doing her frantic dancing and everyone's like, wow, she can dance and you're looking. That's one of the few instances where like, you've been telling us that she's an amazing dancer and this is our first time seeing it

[01:08:48] and this is what she's doing. And objectively, she's doing a lot of dancing. She's doing a lot of dancing. But this is the problem with like any single movie. She has been in devil dancing, like spinning dancing. I mean, the best move she does throughout this entire movie

[01:09:05] is the spin and the kick in the balls. It's the only one where I'm like, yeah, that's a great move. Her signature is the hands. The sort of double fingers down. How would you describe this? It's like a reverse jazz hand.

[01:09:19] It's like a bring it on spirit finger. Sure. Everything, all of the dancing in this movie is like almost violent. It's funnet, it's frantic. Right and it's very, very, very aggressive. And it's punctuated by this score. This is like bam, bam, bam, bam, bam at every move.

[01:09:34] I would describe her dancing style as Bob Fosse like. I would say street fighter combo moves. Yes. Mortal Kombat, Bob Fosse. Depending on where characters are in relation to her, any dance move of hers could be a finishing move. And a couple times it is.

[01:09:47] Am I like plumber? I don't know who like choreographed this movie. I'm assuming it had choreography. It was one, it was one person. I was going to say mine is it's fast-forwarding the dance segments and the living color. The Fly Girls? Yeah. 1.5 speed.

[01:10:03] See that makes it sound awesome. Marguerite Derricks who also, this is interesting, also choreographed Strip Tees, which is a movie that comes out the next year that has similar reputation. Where they were like, okay, we got really close with Showgirls as long as it's R will be fine.

[01:10:19] And then. Everyone will go see it. Then choreographed the Austin Powers movies, which have a lot of similar dance moves. The sort of like hands in the face kind of stuff. But that one's a comedy. Right, it's a comedy. And especially the opening dance number

[01:10:34] of International Man of Mystery is great. No, that's the thing. Those dance numbers are amazing, but they are absurd. The go-go dance scene. Yeah, so she found her spot. And she also choreographed Donnie Darko. She choreographed Sparkle Motion. Wow. So you know.

[01:10:48] She's good at the ironic, you know? She knew what frame to put around her. So yeah. Okay, after Showgirls. Right, right, right. Yeah, but this is the problem with saying that your character's amazing at anything. Also choreographed Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. Sorry.

[01:11:02] Oh no, no, no, that was important, thank you. But there's like a thing here where anytime you watch No Me Dancing and everyone being like, you know what I'm doing, but just like pull it back a little bit. That's true, there is some of that. That's also how.

[01:11:13] She browsed, but they're saying that it's too sexy. Yeah. That's always the note. And I'm like, I don't think that's the problem. I think this movie is sexy. I think it's very little. Right, like I don't. I think it's just too much. Certainly not too sexy.

[01:11:25] Right, it's too much. Everything is not. It's too much sexy, she prowls, she's like a, you know. It's not fucking it's dancing. It's pelvic thrusting. Right, but I feel like there is an overlap between that and watching Elizabeth Berkeley

[01:11:37] give this performance where you wanna keep on being like, oh God, you can act, but just please. Like you're embarrassing yourself. Like we're in public. Yeah, but she was not getting told to pull it back. Right, but you feel watching this movie

[01:11:49] the way the people in the club do. And she kicks him in the nuts. She kicks him in the nuts. Or rather she dances him in the nuts. Cause he's like, I could teach you. He's like, you've got potential, but I can teach you how to dance.

[01:11:57] And she knows from Creets at this point. So she's like, I've heard that line before. He is giving her a line where like what is like you've got the most, the best like pure dance or energy or whatever. Oh yeah, that comes later.

[01:12:07] You've got like the most natural talent right now. Natural, right. Kick in the nards and causes an entire fight to break out in the entire club. Yes. Gets arrested. I think actually one of Berkeley's best moments is when she's watching everyone beat each other up

[01:12:19] and she just smiles this little like, that's for me. And just walks away. And that's an amazing moment. Goes to jail, spends a night in the drunk tank. James who is played by Glenn Plummer mails her out, she ignores him. Yeah. I just want to talk about James.

[01:12:35] Sure. And her relationship with him in this movie. Sure, completely confusing. Which is extremely confusing. And to me is also a very bold underline of the whole she's gay. And this movie is about a female relationship because the two men in her life,

[01:12:49] one is Kyle McLaughlin which that relationship seems all about power. And their first like, you know, sexy moment is about Gina Gershon having vicarious sex with her. Correct. And then the second one, you know, the swimming pool sex scene is this sort of

[01:13:02] like athletic display like very little erotic. That's a word. Right. Whereas James is I guess being positioned as kind of like... Well, he's the guy who knows real dance. Like he sees the real dancer in her. And who sees the real her, right? Which he doesn't though. No!

[01:13:18] That's definitely what the movie can seem to decide whether or not she does. Like Bo Verhoeven is like, this guy is full of shit but the script is more like, well, he's kind of like the guy on the bottom rung

[01:13:27] that she's gonna climb over on her way to the top, right? Well, yeah, because eventually when he's like, I have this routine and I want you to be the star of it when they actually do their like, you know, their, when he tries to do the reenactment

[01:13:38] it's extremely sexual. Yes. And also, he's an asshole. Also, he's an asshole. And another thing, how do you write a dance? What do you do? Kick, number one, punch, two, spin around three. Is that how you write a dance? A, A, B, up, down, up, down, select.

[01:13:59] Our finest film critic, folks. Our finest film critic. It's like one of those maps with the feet. Yeah, I don't, I just... I can't get past that. Little dots. But I do think sometimes this movie is trying to argue that he's an asshole and he's abusing her

[01:14:13] and he actually believes in her talent and he's a good dancer. He's a lot of things all at once. And then sometimes it's only one or the other. Well, just because at the point where Kyle McLaughlin has to become the asshole, he's not. Right.

[01:14:24] But he's also like, oh, I got this girl pregnant and now I have to marry her. Right. So he still sucks. Right, well... I guess we're jumping all ahead. Let's call it what it is. Pussy is his problem as he so eloquently says... Always, always has been.

[01:14:34] Always has been. He has a lot of lines. Just rolls trippingly off the top. Everyone's got AIDS and shit. Everyone's got AIDS. Everyone's got AIDS. I mean, everyone got AIDS and shit. I have a problem with pussy. I always have and I'm always gonna... And then...

[01:14:50] It must be weird not having people come on you. His most famous line in my opinion, you fuck him without fucking him. That's what you do. Well, it ain't right. Yeah. It ain't right. And then his dance is the same thing. Yes. So there's James.

[01:15:02] I mean, we just kind of like... I just wanted to acknowledge James because we probably won't talk about him again because he plays no real purpose in the movie. But there is that scene where then she goes

[01:15:10] knocks on his door and a fully nude woman is walking out of bed. It's Penny. It's Penny. Well, cause she's in his show, right? Comes straight from heaven, yeah. Yeah. And she's mad at him. And I'm like, what are you mad at him about exactly?

[01:15:22] Yeah, all of a sudden they were dating and she's like, oh, she's gonna be in your show. Your whole relationship was that she assaulted him and was put in jail and he bailed her out. Like, this did their whole dynamic. When Molly picks her up in the car

[01:15:33] and is like, who's he? And it's like, I kicked him in the nuts. I guess he liked it. That was actually really funny. That's a terrific line. Five comedy points. It's a great line. It's a great line. But then they have their dance rehearsal,

[01:15:45] which ends up just being a lap dance, which turns into them making out, which is aborted when she says that she's on her period, but he's still into it. Right, but I kind of respect that. And he's like, I don't know, I got towels, whatever.

[01:15:55] Yeah, go for it, man. He's a little woke. He's momentarily woke. Momentarily. He's momentarily woke. And then she now has this power where she's like- She's played that exactly right. Is it woke to have period sex? Sadly, I think so. That's insane.

[01:16:09] Sorry, we shouldn't go down that route. We shouldn't go down this alleyway? I just like, who fucking cares? As long as everyone's happy and warm. That scene is really- No disrespect to the citizens of Antarctica. What are you saying? They can't have sex?

[01:16:25] That scene is really bizarre because- It is, rehearsal? Yes. The fake rehearsal where they both know all the moves immediately? Right, and her boobs kind of are out of her shirt, but she's still in her right. No, he pulls her shirt down. Yeah, that's what I mean.

[01:16:41] They don't just spontaneously decide to come out. I mean, that happens in this movie. Mary and this sort of nature. Well, some people have little remote controls to- I mean, dresses. That's an incredible dress. And then they're sort of in this mid-grind position

[01:16:57] and they freeze and that's when they have the period conversation, right? He's like, I don't believe you and she's like, check. But then she ends up- Which I think is a great response. Power move. Right, and then she ends it on this note of

[01:17:08] you don't get to fuck me until you love me. And he's like, I love you now and she's like, no, you don't. So you're like, okay, this is where this plot line's going. And then instead she's really mad that he's sleeping with Penny and you're like, why? Yeah.

[01:17:21] When I was 13, I just- I think when I was 13, when I watched that scene, I was like, is this how adults behave around each other? Oh no. I'm on my period, I don't believe you, check. Like, I'm like, is this what we're gonna have to do

[01:17:33] when I'm grown up? There are a lot of elements to this movie. And how it depicts sex, both from a writing standpoint and a directing standpoint. It feels like the movie is made by a five-year-old who's just heard rumors about sex.

[01:17:50] It's two Barbie dolls mashing up against each other. It's a very Barbie doll movie. That's what I kept saying to Joanna. Because Elizabeth Berkeley is an odd-looking person in a lot of ways. She's got these giant eyes. They're two different colors, which is sort of like mesmerizing.

[01:18:04] She's got one brown eye and one green eye. I was trying to figure that out. And she's pretty skinny. She's got big mouth. And she's got this really, these big teeth. She's got this like big toothy smile. And they overlined her lips to make it look even bigger.

[01:18:16] That's what I was getting to. They have put so much makeup on her face. Her face is always three shades paler than the rest of her body. Yes! And it makes her look fucking crazy. I mean, that looks like a big- That's very 90s. It is.

[01:18:27] It's unfortunate, but that's what it was. I'm not even really criticizing it because she's striking? Like for sure? And I mean, I think that works in this movie's favor in a way where it's like people can't stop looking at her because there's just a lot to look at.

[01:18:40] So even when she is stationary and not moving her face and not moving her body, you're still kind of like, wow, she's really like dialed up. And she's tall. She's also really tall. Very tall, very tall actress. And she also is achingly vulnerable.

[01:18:53] Like she is such an open emotional woman. You know when she's like playing really tough with her knives. Right. So you kind of can't stop staring at her because you're just like, what the fuck's going on? Like she's always like, she's got tremors. A little tremors.

[01:19:03] Yeah, so we should jump back into the plot though, right? So we left off with her leaving jail and going to Cheetahs for the first time. Yeah, that's right. We're 20 minutes into the movie. Is there an issue?

[01:19:14] Okay, so but we should get the next big scene is the lap dance. Ben has a doctor's appointment three days from now. He's wearing, he's not gonna make it in time. The next big scene is the lap dancing. Yes, right. Yes. Oh boy.

[01:19:26] Yes, so she gets to the, oh I'm sorry. No, no, go ahead. She's a Cheetahs and Crystal and Zach arrive. They're there, they're at like a VIP sort of table situation. Right, and they demand a private dance together. Well, after she does a routine.

[01:19:37] She does a very pointed pole dance. Yeah, she licks the pole. She licks the pole, which I think is one of the most infamous shots of that because like I just, my whole body was like, do not lick that pole. She beats Ryu, handily, she beats Ryu.

[01:19:50] And like, yeah, she does a spinning leg kick. No, the other thing is like I would accept her licking the pole if the second she left the stage, we saw a team come in, sanitize the pole. She chugs a whole handle of like antiseptic vodras.

[01:20:08] Right, a couple guys come in and they just sort of like, all right, instead no two naked women immediately walk on the stage. Like it's not like that pole has been places to do it. No, it's been places and she doesn't respect that pole. Different places.

[01:20:18] Different places, some might say. So they want a private dance. She sees them, she doesn't want any piece. She doesn't want any piece. She's Madda Crystal for disrespecting her dancing. But you know, she's not a good stripper. I'm gonna say that. She's not good at it.

[01:20:32] There are strippers who are incredible and she sucks. I mean, her serving routine is similar to a dancing routine which is that rhythmic sort of like, she's sort of like a minecraft in a box where she's kind of banging off the walls a lot.

[01:20:46] Yeah, a lot of chopping, chop heavy. She tasses out. Yeah, so she could be better but she doesn't do it. She does do this sort of upside down slide thing. She does a little bit of an upside down slide thing.

[01:20:57] You know, I guess she does a couple of things where you're more like, right. She has a bra under her bra? Sure. I kept on wondering watching this, like how much fucking physical training? I mean, she did incredibly complicated to shoot all this. She talked about that too

[01:21:11] when she went on the dancing with the star season and she was like, she stopped dancing after this movie which is really sad because she was like, she apparently was really horrified by she was really a big, no, no, no. She was like, she would love dancing

[01:21:21] and she just, yeah. And the movie broke her heart so hard that she stopped more so than like dancing. But she was like now, and she's right on this count that she was like now people take whole dance classes. Yes, of course. Like it's totally different.

[01:21:31] It's become much more of like, it's appreciated for its athleticism. Totally different. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so. I think that word a lot. She did a lot of training for it. She did a lot of training for it. She did a lot of training for it.

[01:21:42] She did a lot of physical, dexterity and endurance, all of it. It's not an easy part. No. So they have the private dance which as you say is this sort of vicarious sex scene. Yes. The first fully nude scene in the film. It's also all in one room?

[01:21:55] Yes, it's in like the champagne room or whatever. Okay, yeah, yeah. Because there are other dances going on in the background. Yes, yes. And it also like has the doorway in is not a door and it's like the guy. The little beads or whatever.

[01:22:07] Yeah, yeah, that choreographer comes and is like trying to get a free show sort of thing. Right, right, right. But yeah, so she's like, oh yeah, they're like, they say that Gina wants to, lap dance for both of them. Sorry, Crystal.

[01:22:16] She's trying to find a way out of it. Probably, I don't know. And she's like we don't do women, we don't do women, only one on. Right, yeah, only boys and girls. She's very heteronormative in there. But Robert Davies in like Mr. Krabs mode

[01:22:27] and he hears money being turned down and immediately like. Calling the bluff. Right. She finally gets to 500 bucks. Which I gotta say seems low. Yeah. She could have pushed that a lot. 2017 money is a lot more than. She offers 100 in the first place

[01:22:37] and Nomi was right to be like fuck you. Well like I feel, I don't know anything about going to a strip club and I'm not trying to. Humble rank. I just don't. But even my like CSI watching sort of like level of knowledge.

[01:22:51] I'm like it's definitely more than 100 bucks to get a private show, right? Well I mean I think they're trying to like paint this strip club as like one of the seabird ones. It's pretty trashy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that's probably about what she usually gets

[01:23:01] but then you know she's Crystal Connors and she could definitely like if she wants to be like super impressive just be like a grand. That's also the thing like high roller people like that always want to overpay. That's the whole point. Right, right. Performatively. Yes.

[01:23:13] To flaunt their weight so like. And I love that she's the one doing it and not her flop boyfriend. Yes. I kind of love that. His hair is so fucking flopsy in this movie. It's fully over one eye like a writer strong boy meets world flop.

[01:23:25] I was gonna say it's like that villain from Captain Planet where you never saw the one half of her face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then sometimes when it flipped up she had like acid scarring. Do you remember that? He's doing that.

[01:23:35] This is kind of a stealth Captain Planet movie. So yeah totally. So. Elizabeth Barkley is heart. This, shut up. She never grew so this is it. As Caroline posited this is a kind of a love scene between Noh-Me and Crystal. Because they're lock and eyes.

[01:23:50] It's the only love scene that the two have together. Mm-hmm. Yes. Which is sort of annoying. Yeah, because so Crystal sits like on the other side of the room on a table. She's like I'm not gonna touch you but the eye contact is very intense.

[01:24:02] Right, and she grinds on Kyle McLaughlin, Zach. Yeah. Who you might not be able to tell is kind of a creep. He's got this hair that's like perfectly he's like the UK soul singer Gabrielle. If I had to come up with an example

[01:24:15] I'd almost say that villain from Captain Planet. I would almost do a two minute chunk on this. If I had to come up with a way to describe this. I'm gonna show you Gabrielle. Okay, cool. Okay, yeah. You do that. I'm gonna Google that villain from Captain Planet.

[01:24:29] What's his name? That villain from back then. It's a female. It makes me a dude. I think though his look it's sort of like remember when Garth Brooks had an alternative sort of personality? Oh yeah, Chris Gaines. Okay, yeah it's kind of like Chris Gaines.

[01:24:40] And he hosts the SNL and. The hair that kind of comes down on one side of his face. A Pete Wentz. Yeah, it's almost like a Pete Wentz. Oh God, there's a Captain Planet villain. So it's kind of like. What her name is? Up.

[01:24:52] I was trying to get you off this. Dr. Blight. Dr. Blight. Oh yeah. I mean sure, you know, look in history there have been people who had their hair over one of their eyes. But then she's got creepy face underneath. Right, well I believe Gabrielle also had

[01:25:07] some sort of like eye condition which is why she developed the hair. But Kyle has no excuse. Zach has no excuse. Zach has no excuse. Anyway, she grinds on him till he just is in his pants and the Oscars give it a best picture. And that's the moment.

[01:25:22] No, sorry, Carolyn go ahead. No, I just I grinds against him as such a mild way of describing what happens. She is fully nude. He is fully clothed. Yeah right, she gets fully nude. She can touch him, he can't touch her. Those are the rules.

[01:25:36] But it's like it's very aggressive dry humping. Yes. And when she's not locking eyes with Crystal she is fully dry humping is even too mild. It's like really aggressive like a fish is dying, flopping. That's her move, look. I mean yes. It's struggling for, yeah.

[01:25:56] Right, dolphin, beached dolphin kind of. I'm also moving at like a Usain Bolt speed. Like I don't understand how fast her muscles work in this. I mean that's impressive. It is impressive. But I just feel like, I don't know,

[01:26:10] correct me if I'm wrong, I feel like that would just hurt. I think it would hurt. It would hurt everyone involved. In every sense of the word. There would definitely be some kind of like rug burn. 100%. You know because he's wearing like slacks or whatever.

[01:26:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I just don't understand how he even gets off in that situation. I guess there's friction. Well, but also. There's a lot of friction. And then there is this weird triangle dynamic that's going on, right? Where like Crystal sort of involved and she's watching.

[01:26:34] And like Zach knows what's happening. Right. Like he does. They have this rivalry. Yeah. And Zach to be clear is the artistic director or whatever entertainment director of Goddess. Sure. So then Nomi gets to audition after this, gets to audition for Goddess. Because Crystal goes in and goes,

[01:26:50] hey I saw this great audition yesterday. She got a reel. Now, and then my favorite scene in the film happens. Really? Tony Moss who is now my new favorite character in the movie. The one good performance now. Alan Rackens, I think is his name.

[01:27:07] He's from, he was in LA Law. He's the guy who? He's Tony Moss. I've already forgotten. He's the gross guy who does the line up. Oh, the line up. I'm Tony Moss. I produced this show. Some of you may have heard, probably heard that I'm a prick.

[01:27:21] I texted it to Ben. Go on, Ben, you wanna do it? All right, I am Tony Moss. I produced this show. Some of you have probably heard that I'm a prick and I am a prick. I got one interest here and that's the show.

[01:27:31] I don't care whether you live or die. I wanna see you dance and I wanna see you smile. I can't use you if you can't smile and I can't use you if you can't show. I can't use you if you can't sell. It's a cold read.

[01:27:44] Okay, to jump to I don't care if you live or die on sentence two, three. That's where you end. Some of you stakes are insane. I know he's like, I'm a prick. I don't care if you live or die. I'd love it if you smile.

[01:27:55] This is an audition. What are you talking about? Die. Can you spell MGM backwards? I bet you can't. Right. Say it. MGM. I'm impressed. Okay, and then Vegas baby. I think that line is hilarious. I think pretty much every line is really, really funny. And then right.

[01:28:10] And then there's the thing about the lady who had her nose fixed because that was the note. Right, right. Now it's your ears. Thanks Tony. It looks a lot better. It's always something. He lines the girls up. Hey, tennis ball you better have a good wig collection, right?

[01:28:24] Doesn't he say that? It's a good line. He also was, he's Dharma's father on Dharma and Greg. Oh my God. He's like a two time like Emmy winner. He was like an LA law for his line years. Okay.

[01:28:37] He's just like a famous kind of like hard ass, you know, whatever, like except I think in Dharma and Greg, he's like a hippie, right? Well, he's Greg's dad. No, he's Dharma's dad. Oh, then yeah. Yeah, yeah. So this is the ice scene. This is the ice.

[01:28:51] And this is like... They do the ice bucket trial. But this is like Verhoeven, like this is the casting process in Hollywood. You line these women up and you just like assail them with like verbally. You dismiss them for any imperfection. And then he's like,

[01:29:06] all right, we're down to the tie of the three of you. Show me your tits. You know, and they're like, here are our tits. And he's like... He's like, yeah, I mean, it's a topless show. You gotta... I mean, like do we need to get the ice bucket?

[01:29:14] You know, like it's like every, he finds a new level to go down every time. Even the beneficiaries of this system are degraded and mocked. Like just for sport. It's a fucking blood sport. And like probably not far off. No, I believe this completely.

[01:29:29] In show business there's some of this. There's no evidence to back that up. I hate the fucking world. I was gonna say when you first introduced me, you're like, I was wondering for good. Like what are you right about? And be like sexual assault. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.

[01:29:41] I used to write about like movies and TV that I liked. And then there was some sort of subtle shift six months ago. I wrote a TV review this week. It took me like two days because I was like, I forget how to do this. Oh boy.

[01:29:53] It was so powerful and so depressing. But when the Weinstein story was like unfolding and your tweets about having to update your article to raise the numbers or add names. I'll tell you a fun journalism. Please. But that was just like Jesus fucking Christ.

[01:30:10] Yeah, we made the mistake of being like we should have a list of all the people who have accused him of something. And try to be complete and comprehensive. But it's certainly there will be an end at some point.

[01:30:19] Yeah, I don't even know how many there are now. I wanna say it's like at 90 or something crazy. He's getting into Cosby zone. It's, I mean he's past it. He's past it. Well, how many did Cosby have? I think it was more like 50. I mean it's fucking insane.

[01:30:32] It's like when the LA Times published their thing and then a day later he said we've had 200. Right, yeah but the LA Times so like we have 120 and then like the next day they got. But it's like we have learned in this

[01:30:43] and actually it was funny because I'm not funny but one of the politics writers who have been writing about the Trump stuff after the tape and the people coming forward she was like, we learned you don't put a number in the headline because you're gonna change it.

[01:30:54] Like it's just gonna change. So we never put numbers in the headline. Yes, but she was right. We've never put a number in the headline since because it always changes. But this movie, I mean this movie weirdly has more power now than it ever has, you know?

[01:31:09] That's a take. I know what you're saying. I feel like this is one movie that like fully stares into the eye of Sauron that is like the fucking systemic like abuse. I mean it's like every man in this is really awful. Yeah, yes. Well, shall I quote?

[01:31:24] Like there's a reason why I think like, you know I think part of this movie is like she is so all over the place because she has been trashed again and again by terrible men. Because we're seeing one sliver of her life

[01:31:35] and every other sliver is also gonna be like this or has been like this, but also that this movie is entirely based around this like Faustian bargain of like, well, you know, you're gonna have to sell it sooner or later that is perpetuated by the men in power

[01:31:46] choosing to all live up to that. Shall I quote? Regardless of what level you're at. Chacrivette, the famous French director. Thank you. I was gonna pull this one out. And Selina Angelica Boding. You know this quote? No, I don't. It was a famous contributor. Oh, I'm ready.

[01:31:59] Get fucking ready. Okay. The cinema who said it is one of the great American films very unpleasant. It is about surviving in a world populated with assholes and that's Verhoeven's philosophy. I believe at one point he's dead now, right?

[01:32:14] This was close to his death after that initial quote. I think he said it was the best American film the last 10, 15 years. Something like that. Quentin Tarantino said that is the only time in his life that he can remember Hollywood

[01:32:25] like giving a full budget to an exploitation movie. Essentially, what's his kind of take on it? But I do agree with the brevet thing. Like you question how much of its intentional, you know, you can't question how much it's both done.

[01:32:38] But it is Verhoeven which sort of helps you, but yes, go on. But I do find this movie to be like this like horrible parable that's actually pretty spot on not in terms of like reflecting realistic human behavior but representing like the ecosystem.

[01:32:52] I mean, the problem is that just thinking about it now is that it's pretty spot on about these men and how they work and what they do because I think the people like, you know, it was written directed by men who probably know those guys.

[01:33:04] But it's all over the fucking place with her because they don't understand her. Right, yeah. So if like the problem is that this, it could have been that if she were a character but she's not. I agree with that. I agree with that.

[01:33:16] Here's one additional thing I would like to say. Please. That does not contradict that at all. Thank you. But it's another thing I think is moving. Never will ever. White cheddar bagel twist. It's a really good snack. He's eaten a half of it

[01:33:29] because it's louder than they baked it well today and it's making a lot of crunch. They baked it well down at Duncan today. They did, they did a good bake. I'm sorry, sorry, go ahead. No, the thing I was going to say,

[01:33:38] the other thing I think this movie does get very right is the question I've had people who are totally outside of this industry ask me for the last couple months as this whole story has been developing of just like, but how does this fucking happen?

[01:33:52] How does this get so bad? Why do all these women agree to meet up with these men? How do these people stay on if they're in these positions of power? And the thing is the thing that these guys do and I think showgirls represents that really well,

[01:34:02] whatever ecosystem you're in, right? Whatever industry you're in, whatever senior in whatever city, whatever theater you're in or that, whatever. They set up this sort of company line that there just is a price you have to pay to enter the door, you know?

[01:34:18] You're just going to have to take some bullshit. You might have to draw a line somewhere, but you have to know that you're going to get it in one way or another. Whether it's degradation, whether it's like, you know, a killing of your spirit.

[01:34:30] No, I mean, it's baked into the expectations of like, if you want to be a star, then this is what you do. Like, that's it. And this movie even presents up- And if you don't want to be a star, that's fine.

[01:34:37] Then you walk away and we'll leave you alone. From the moment she gets into the van with Blake Shelton, it's like, if you even want to get to the city to have the chance to break into the industry. You got to get through a creep.

[01:34:46] Right, like everything's a fucking risk. Everything's a game of Russian roulette. Which is the climate that like the fucking entertainment industry has existed in forever. Right. Where it's just like, well, I just hope that I like, I'm able to like sneak through. Yeah.

[01:34:59] And that's why like at this point, it's cool that people are getting fired, but you can't just fire a few people and hope it. Like it's like all the people who are getting fired right now are at the top, which is fascinating

[01:35:07] and good and will set precedence and so on. But the problem is that there are people who have been learning from them the whole time who are at all levels of the thing. Anything I've seen is not like a Mat Lauer. It's like someone like way lower,

[01:35:19] but we learned from that. Yeah. So yeah. Right, like people who are not known. No, of course that person have power. But just because that's the way the system is. So I mean it's going to be, I think this is good,

[01:35:29] but like I don't know by the time this comes out, I don't know where we are. Yeah. Well hopefully there's just no man. This week was Lauer, that's why I used that. Yes. That example who knows who just came out. Right.

[01:35:39] At this point Mat Lauer has already been like sent into the Phantom Zone. Like that has already been outed by that point. The systemic abuse of Shrek. So what was that? Oh, I have Skittles and I'm just getting blue ones. Do you like blue?

[01:35:54] Sure, give me blue ones. OK great. What flavor Skittles are these though? They're purple ones. These are berry. These are berry Skittles. I really appreciate you taking that turn. We needed a way to get out of this puddle. Well because we could talk about this for like 20 minutes

[01:36:08] and we're like 20 minutes in the movie still. So I mean the good news is there's really not much plot. This is the thing. Yeah. She gets the job obviously. Yeah. And there's like again, like I don't know what Verhoeven was talking about MGM musicals

[01:36:19] because there are like three numbers in this movie but it's not like they're the centerpiece of the movie at any point. We see the volcano one like four times. And at some point like I think there's one move that's like a like a She-Hulk sort of thing

[01:36:31] and I just every time it kept it came back I lost it and I was like I don't know what this is. And if he really wanted to make an MGM musical he very easily could have had singing in this film. Sure.

[01:36:40] You know, like he pointedly didn't do that. That's Berlesque's move. Yes. Yeah. Is that she's a singer. Tries to sprinkle in there. Right. Right. And then there's the volcano number and then there's like a dystopian motorcycle gang rape number. Right. That's what that is. Yes.

[01:36:58] Oh, you set up David's face. He's so uncomfortable. You've set up. Not uncomfortable it's just it's depressing. Yes. You set up the end fighting with some of the other dancers. Oh yeah. There's two dancers who are at each other's throats the whole time.

[01:37:10] There's that one dancer who is always mad. There's an angry black dancer. She is very angry. Very angry. She's like if Nomi, Nomi, she makes Nomi look like the chillest person in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She makes Nomi look like the Queen of Aperweight. OK.

[01:37:25] I did that for Ben. Ben, I just know you're having a tough episode. I wanted to give you something. I appreciate that. Ben, you liked this movie though, right? You were into it. He did like this movie for a while. I don't like this movie. No!

[01:37:36] And not Molly liked it, right? Didn't Molly were telling me Molly did it? Molly liked it but I didn't like it. There's a whole scene with Jack McGee and a bunch of monkeys. Oh yeah. An early brunette Jack McGee. Yeah, Jack McGee looking good.

[01:37:48] Like he's not as hair under 55. I love Jack McGee. That man is incredible. That man is like a piece of coal. See, I don't know him but just hearing his name, I'm like yeah that makes sense. I would love Jack McGee. Yeah.

[01:38:00] He is like the ball buster in the fighter. Yes, his best role is in the fighter where he plays the 410 man that is married to Melissa Leo. Melissa Leo just sort of like chips off another piece of his soul every day.

[01:38:11] I would pay such good money to see Jack McGee's kindergarten class photo. Here it is, right here for you. See him look exactly the same. Oh, I can see it. He has like a yo-yo. He was on a whirling gig.

[01:38:23] He was on a rescue me for many years. He's a great grump. He's a top shelf. He's an all time grump who I believe was born in the age of 45. And in this one he has like a brigade of monkeys. Yeah, there's a whole scene with monkeys

[01:38:35] where you're kind of like... What is this? If I was looking and maybe shaving in two minutes, this is what I might... Are they in the same show? I think they're in an attached show because I think the show is kind of like...

[01:38:45] Because I don't see where they fit into the like topless motorcycle review. That's the thing, it's like there's a review. So it's like some monkey shit or like elephants. Like there's an animal act and then it's like... There's some monkey shit also some monkey shit.

[01:38:57] Oh yes there is. Oh, it's probably like a bullshit that people can do between gambling. You're eating a steak dinner, right? Exactly with your date or whatever. And then like there's you know, show girls and then there's like, I don't know,

[01:39:08] like some vaudeville maybe or like a comedian. Like I don't know. Also most of these big casino resorts have several theaters. Yes. So like within each theater there's your own review. How you doing? Oh, I was just checking my notes. Oh good.

[01:39:23] Are we doing it all so far? Oh no, I stopped taking notes halfway through the movie and we're still in my notes. Cool. Oh Jesus. It's a five-parter Ben, I'm sorry. It's a five-parter. Oh god damn it. So then there's the boat trade show

[01:39:36] because this is where like, you know, making a turns on Crystal. Well it's like, yeah, Crystal Volunteer served for this boat trade show and Molly's like, don't do it. Don't do it. Which I feel like even at this point in mainstream culture, boat trade show was known as

[01:39:49] unlike no good, very bad, don't do it. Like that's been like... She could offer to thousand bucks which is twice what Crystal paid for her. Right. Yes. Which keeps getting. It's insane. Yeah, but she goes to the boat show and somehow has no idea what's about to happen.

[01:40:00] Wow, blame her. Why don't you? Wow. I'm not blaming her. Wow. To me fair, Nomi rarely seems to have much idea of what's about to happen. No, but also like having her best friend be like, I've been here a while, it doesn't go well. Do not do this.

[01:40:16] She's like, shut up. Yeah. Different places. Yeah, she goes to the boat show, she gets propositioned by what... Who is he? He's like one of the backers of the show. Right. Who was at the earlier strip club, right? Sure.

[01:40:30] Yeah, like open out town, maybe like a town scout or something. Like who can I touch you or whatever. And he's like the Earth likes a guy from Beijing. Right, right. He's got the businessmen in from out of town. Right. You want to show him a good time.

[01:40:41] Right. You're sure? Show him a good time. Why don't you put on a Safty brother film? You know what I'm saying? If you want to show an out of town businessman a good time, maybe show him a Safty brother. No, maybe show them heaven knows water.

[01:40:54] Caroline is just looking at Griffin with disdain. Maybe show him... I just wanted him to keep going. Daddy long legs maybe. White cheddar bagel twist. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've made so many mistakes in my life. I've made so many mistakes.

[01:41:09] All right, so we're back at the theater. My point is that after the boat show it's like she's like I will now destroy Crystal. Yeah. Right, but then she's like... It's this very sudden turn. And they do the show again.

[01:41:21] She's glaring at Crystal during the show and then she like does something a little wrong and someone's like, oh, we're going to like, is this when they set her up to be like, oh, you have to come back in at noon tomorrow to work on this turn?

[01:41:29] They definitely need her to work on a turn. Or something. She's all pelvic thrust. All the backstage stuff kind of blends together. But basically this is when she seduces Kyle McLaughlin. Yeah. Well, like that's what I... Was that before Crystal takes her on like basically a date?

[01:41:47] It's after, isn't it? I don't remember. Because I thought she came back from the boat show she's upset. She talks to Kyle McLaughlin. Oh yeah. And he's like, oh, it's right. And he's like, oh, that's actually a really good moment to what Griffin was talking about where he's

[01:42:01] like, oh, I'll take care of this. And he yells at the guy and she's like, oh, you're so sweet. You did this for me in the second she walks away. He calls him back and is like, get back your fuckhead. Like, I don't care. Do what you want.

[01:42:10] Yeah. That actually is it. That was one of the good moments where you're like, yeah, that makes sense. That's an honest portrayal of what men are really like. Yes, all of you. Yes. Thank you. They have their lunch date. Caroline looked right at me when she said that.

[01:42:21] Hashtag all men. They have their lunch date where they talk about breasts and then go back to work on the turn. She's like, I like looking at nice tits always have. It's like it's the reverse. I like nice tits. Right. That's one. I thought I was looking at.

[01:42:35] Well, no, but no me's replies. I like having nice tits. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's when Gina Gershwin is wearing what can only describe as a Zorro hat. Yeah. Well, she so she starts embodying this like really amazing. She looks amazing.

[01:42:49] She's doing like this, this butch cowboy thing. So good. So good. And she's just sitting at one of the tables and just like watching her. She's got her arm around a chair. She's drinking some champagne. She's dressed like a little girl.

[01:42:59] She basically calls her over and says what's nice. Like, what's it like to have nice tits? Which is let's be clear. That's an HR issue. She should go back to that lady. She told her Social Security number two who is like the normal HR lady.

[01:43:11] She's her superior at work. But it's also like conf I mean just speaking to a Ben was saying like, I don't know, ten years ago. No, me saying that's why I like having nice tits is when Joanna was like, I'm going to bed.

[01:43:21] Every other scene they have together. Also I'm moving out. Yes. Also we're done. Sorry. Say what you're saying. No, but I mean I think Ben was touching on her earlier is that like every other scene like in one scene they're flirting

[01:43:32] and it's just like super like they're into it. And then the other scene she's like, I fucking hate you. You don't get anything. Right. It's very teenage relationship. Which is fine. That's kind of a nice way to look at it.

[01:43:41] That's the best read you can have on it. Like maybe a little happy. They bond over both eating dog food. Yes. That's right. That is a dark scene. That is what you were talking about. What do women talk about? Dog food. All I talk about with my friends.

[01:43:58] It literally is like. How many each other's tits and talk about eating dog food. We all do it. Did Gina do that? Hold on, hold on. I think we got it. She says I used to love eating dog food or whatever and you're just like it's unremarked bond.

[01:44:11] No, no, no. Because yeah, because Gina says at first and you're like that's weird and then Naomi's like me too and you're like that's weirder. We forgot to mention Ben Meiming doing a line of coke off the sound board just reminded me.

[01:44:23] The first 45 minutes of Gina Gershaw's performance she's doing a bump of coke every five seconds. Out of her pinky nail. She's got her amazing pinky nail. Well, but then Naomi starts doing the coke. Naomi refuses all coke for the first half of the movie

[01:44:34] and then she starts doing coke. Well because of the... Well, no I don't want it. Well she gets high when she fucks Con McLaughlin. I mean she'd have to. Well, something's in her system when she's in the pool. I mean you know. That is.

[01:44:46] This might come as a surprise. I didn't like that sex seed. Oh no you didn't like it. Normally I like wet stuff but that shit sucks. Dude, that sucks. It's wet on wet. Pool and like waterfall. This is such a screaming episode. And there's the...

[01:45:01] I thought you were going to say something else. What did you think he was going to say? I thought he was going to talk about a bottle of Poland spring. I don't want it. I don't know. I give up. I give up.

[01:45:13] The fluorescent light, the palm trees behind the pool. Okay are we there yet? Yeah we're there. We're there. Great. That shit is vaporwave one. Cool as fuck. Okay, I said the same thing. I was like this is a great pool. I like it. It's not trashy at all.

[01:45:27] It's good. It's got dolphins, waters coming out of their mouths. What's not to like? A waterfall that's timed so it only turns on and off every once in a while. Oh that's true, yeah. That's cool. You know that hacky thing where like a kid walks in?

[01:45:39] I mean it's lit up but it's also lit. It's lit. That hacky thing where like a kid walks in and their parents having sex and thinks that they're fighting. The pool sex scene is like someone adapted that kid's description of something.

[01:45:50] Like why are you being so mean to each other? This is a great episode. Why are you hurting mommy but why are you hurting daddy? Yeah it's going good. I like how this episode's gone. Caroline you're a great guest. Oh thank you so much. It's all Skittles.

[01:46:04] It's all Barry Skittles. White cheddar bagel twist of the year. Twist? I know it's a compliment coming from you so I'll take it. There is a moment before the floppy sex where it looks like she's kind of trying to give him an underwater blow job. Not easy. No.

[01:46:21] No. May impossible. Bodies are buoyant. I don't understand how that happens. Also they require oxygen. They do. I think this is when I started clutching at my face and just never stopped until the end of the movie. The sex scene is insane. I hate it.

[01:46:36] It's one of those things where people are like. It makes me very upset. One of those things where people are like. I'm glad Joanna did not watch that scene because I think she might have dumped me.

[01:46:46] Because I tried to set up with like, well you know it's this camp classic and it's been reevaluated by Jacques Rivet. She's like, I don't care. You used to have her up in the water. I quoted Jacques Rivet at her. She was not interested.

[01:46:59] Joanna, you know how you love out too? What if I told you? Sorry. I don't even know what else there is to say. I can't imagine how. Because there's this quote from Comic-Clock on the wiki.

[01:47:13] There are a bunch of things from him where he's like, I had no idea this is what the movie was when we were making it. I saw it at the premiere. And when you started the premiere, he was like gobsmacked by

[01:47:22] how horrible it was and it's like this sinking feeling. I just kind of killed his career. For sure. I looked at most, I looked at a bunch of people's IMDb's at and there's like at least, besides for Gina. There's like five years at least.

[01:47:35] Gina bounces from this which she's wonderful into, which is even better at. She stays in this sort of exploitation movie zone. That's a smart way to play it. Then you're really good in those and then you can move out of those. But like Comic-Clock on.

[01:47:49] He had a hard time. His next major role is Claudius in the Amoyarita Hamlet. Yeah. He can only play creepy from here out. Like he's. Yeah. Well, and then he kind of reclaims it with sex in the city.

[01:48:02] I was gonna say then he gets sex in the city. He's like nice creepy. Right. He does like a really earnest thing and then at some point it takes a turn. Would you like to measure my John Thomas?

[01:48:10] Thank you for the eye contact as you go with that. As a Charlotte. I'm gonna beat it that, David. Speaking as a Charlotte. Oh, you are a Charlotte. I obviously really liked. But when I was a kid, I watched Sex in the City

[01:48:21] like when it was on TV. It's probably similar to whenever I watch showgirls thinking like, hey, no, no, no. Right there in the title. Yeah. And I love Comic-Clock because I had seen him in Twin Peaks. Which my father was obsessed with.

[01:48:37] So I had like watched Old Twin Peaks not all of them or something. So I was always like very locked into Comic-Clock when at a younger age. Yeah. He is a creepy person in Sex in the City. Well, it's weird because I think he's not

[01:48:47] supposed to be at first. Not at first. But he's always got that a little bit. I mean, that movie is... Like I don't think that's what the script was asking for at first. Well at first it's supposed to be charming. And then they're like and he's also

[01:48:57] he's got an umbilical cord attached to his mom. Right. And then he becomes... Because I think the arc in Sex in the City the idea is like finally Charlotte gets the man she wants. He's like, man she's preppy. Right, right, he's perfect. He's like really attentive.

[01:49:08] But he's like the guy who has like the giant house and then it's like a casket of a Monte-Auto situation. You like open the floor and there's just like a hole. I remember taking... Bunch of dead show girls.

[01:49:17] I took Romley to see Sister Shoe of the Traveling Pants two where he essentially reprises this character as the director of a school play. Oh no. I've never seen Sister too. Which sister has to be in the school play but they do like a 42nd Street thing

[01:49:32] where she has a smaller part and the main girl gets sick and she takes over. Is it Tamplin? Because she's always the one who's like stuck at home being bored but that's in the first one. It's not Tamplin. I think it's not Tamplin. I can't remember.

[01:49:43] It might be Blake Lively but anyway he plays a creepy director in that and when he came on screen I started laughing hysterically and Romley was like what's going on and I was just like he used to be a hardthrob. But now he's a hardthrob again. I know.

[01:50:00] Got it back. He did. Good for him. But he had to like go through some shit to get there. He did. He also just had to go to TV I think. It was like a lot of it. Okay let's get back on track. You didn't enjoy that?

[01:50:10] No, I liked it. But then we were making the stretch for time. No, it was not. I'm not doing that. So after this wonderful sex scene with this powerful connection he gets her the job. We're in the last 20 minutes where everything happens now. That's the thing.

[01:50:26] Like he gets her the job as Crystal's understudy. She threatens legal action so she's taking off this job. She got rejected and also realizes that she's sleeping with Zach and not her. And he actually calls her out.

[01:50:38] Zach has that line where it's like are you mad that I fucked her or are you mad that I fucked her before you got here? I beat her, but then I beat you do it. Also someone's broken their knee on monkey shit. Someone's broken their knee.

[01:50:48] Then Nomi pushes Crystal down the stairs and then another person covers for her and in response wants to be the understudy. The person who also Nomi sees her take out the other girl and doesn't say anything and then she controls this in return. Blah, blah, blah.

[01:51:03] But also at one point she randomly goes to see Plummer's dance show which he has put on at the cheetah though. At the cheetah. And again the cheetah audience is not into it. No because they're like we want to see a strip routine.

[01:51:15] How do you describe this routine? Not a post-modern DJ structure. We're in the black tights and doing like the sexy New York jazz club music or something. And then very quickly it turns out they're engaged because Penny got pregnant half a millisecond that he's gotten decent. No.

[01:51:33] And then he just immediately says a bunch of awful things. What does he say to her? He's like getting a drink bitch and it's just like weird. It's like so aggressive. Well you know how I joke. No we don't know how you joke. I'm getting married now.

[01:51:48] And she's basically happy for you and then that's the last of him. And he's going to go work for his mom and get hours at her grocery store. That's actually really depressing too because he's like a little girl who's got a whole lot of problems.

[01:52:02] He and Penny are in a totally other movie. Yes. Called showgirls too. Penny's from Hapstone. And then there's the Molly gets to meet at Nomi's big coming out part. At Nomi's opening night celebration. We're all just... This guy Andrew Carver who is played by a total brand-new.

[01:52:26] He's sort of like a Fabio thing going. Some sort of Vegas star. Molly's got a big crush on him somewhat inexplicably I gotta say. And then there's like this... Incredibly inexplicably because she and Nomi were in a relationship. In their trailer. This is true.

[01:52:44] It makes no sense when she's like oh my god this guy. Also the chips are her blender too right? The potato chip stuff in the trailer where she's always like I tried the chips. I'm like what is this? We haven't talked about blenders enough.

[01:53:00] We need to talk about them. Alex Ross Perry, a previous guest. It's enemy of the state where Will Smith's character is obsessed with his blender and it has no plot purpose. Weird character details that can lift right out of the screen. They try to do like a...

[01:53:16] All the other dancers eat brown rice and vegetables but she likes chips and burgers. The fucking brown rice and vegetable lines Gay. Yeah that's her name. She fits with the rest of the movie. Gay Carpenter, played by Michelle Johnson. Gay Carpenter.

[01:53:32] So this awful thing that happens in the movie. Yeah I mean this is one of the most egregious like absolutely unnecessary. I agree with that. 100% especially for how late into the movie we are and how much else the film has going on. Right so like they get introduced

[01:53:48] and he takes her to a room being gang raped by him and the bodyguards while Nomi's having this like storybook little dance. So the one piece of credit I'll give to her Hovind or Esther House or both or whoever and it's probably not for good reasons

[01:54:02] but I do think it's incisive that she is into him goes back to the room and they still assault her which is this thing that keeps on coming out in these stories that we're reading where it's like these guys are addicted to

[01:54:16] the power of the thing more than anything else. Right. Nomi that's true. Like the level of depravity. And you know there's something to the fact that she literally they literally throw her out into the middle of the party with no fear or reprimand.

[01:54:30] And of course right Zach's reaction is we're gonna pay her off and this is never gonna be spoken of. All that unfortunately un-tracks. Unfortunately realistic. But it's just it's so late in the movie because watch this. It's all in like five minutes all of a sudden.

[01:54:46] It hasn't been in this movie for like half an hour. Absolutely. We love Molly. We love Molly. We love doing this to Molly. That's why they do it to Molly. I know. It does feel like Esther House is just sort of like

[01:54:56] Oh we have this person she could she could be raped though. She could be the one. That's certainly an issue but it's also where he's like there needs to be an ending that communicates that this world is bad and it's like we know it's bad.

[01:55:08] Or like we need to have a moment where Nomi like fights back. But it's not even her. Nomi's low point is pushing crystal down the stairs Oh right. Hey Esther House. I'm jumping through a time machine here to give you advice.

[01:55:19] If you want an ending to show that this world is bad take any scene that has previously exist in this movie copy paste it and play it again at the end. That's your ending. Like they didn't need it. No. They didn't need it the way it was filmed.

[01:55:33] It's so upsetting. It's beyond the cut. Andrew Crommer's got like his tongue out like a lizard. Like it's so awful. Every fucking detail. It's just really I think there's I mean there's a lot of stuff in here that's awful for the sake of being awful. Yes.

[01:55:47] And this is right. I feel like it actually kind of it makes total sense that at one point it is built to this because that's like the most obvious example of something being terrible. Including a bad thing just like this bad thing happened. Right.

[01:55:59] But it's like one thing that this is at the beginning of the movie then you know what movie you're watching. Right. That's clearly the die they're trying to cast. But here it's now just like okay we have 10 minutes to go so what's going to happen?

[01:56:08] So again it's conversation with Kamaglachlan and Amin DiBionic. They go to the hospital she has a conversation with Kamaglachlan. Where she's like where are the police why aren't they here? And he's like they're not coming. They're not coming I'm dealing with this. That's not how this works.

[01:56:18] He's not getting in any trouble. You're a star now. We've already announced you at a conference with Chip what's his name? And Smith. Yeah Chip Smith right. Question mark. And then he throws on her that he knows all her information. He's got all her information.

[01:56:33] Her name is what? It's a Pollyanna Costello. Right because it's a Pollyanna. Very subtle. She's a Pollyanna yeah that she runs away and prostitutes her father murdered her mother and then killed herself. She's basically Sawyer from law. She's every single thing.

[01:56:49] Her parents are dead she was in foster home she had a crack cocaine problem she solicited. She's been arrested for prostitution for drug possession assault with a deadly weapon. Her response is I'm going to get my switch blade and go beat the shit out of that guy.

[01:57:01] That's after he tells her that she's a fantastic fuck. And also asks how much she charged. Well that's the thing right. So he's like oh you got low self esteem baby. I will say that spit was well done. Really well done.

[01:57:14] Cause there's a moment when she starts smiling and you're like what is this? And then she just spits like a lot of spit. I mean it's obviously just water. But it's good. And then she goes and kicks the shit out of that guy.

[01:57:25] Kicks the shit out of that guy, goes and sees Molly and is like don't worry I kicked the shit out of that guy. Molly is like okay. Molly is so out of it. Then goes to see Crystal and says sorry I pushed you down the stairs.

[01:57:36] And has her castle blank ending. You know? Right. So then she does this for her friend who's so beaten up. Strangers in the night if only we could be together. And then get back. Leaves her forever. Leaves her forever. Goes to see Crystal. In the same hospital.

[01:57:49] All the victims of her. The Crystal endings the castle blank ending. Yeah yeah yeah. Where she increases like you know what kid I pushed someone down the stairs once. Let's make out. Yeah exactly. So they do. Yes they do. And then she goes back hitchhiking.

[01:58:07] Who picks her up the same fuckhead and she takes up the knife. I mean yeah. And she says I want my fucking suitcase. Right. That I believe is the last line of the movie. I think so. It's on a par with fuck.

[01:58:18] I think the last line is oh haha. Like him just like fucking screaming. And she we roll by her billboard. And then the camera. Goddess. Hands up further and what do we see now? The Hollywood side. Los Angeles.

[01:58:29] Which to me is like the end of Friday the 13th when like Jason comes up out of the wall. Right or it's like the end of the department where the rat runs across the room and we're like we get it. It's not going to be better.

[01:58:40] See I don't think it's like the departed rat where it's like did you get what we were talking about? I think it's like Friday the 13th where it's like. It's only going to get worse. She's not safe it's going to get worse.

[01:58:49] It's like the end of the post. Yeah yes yes. We now call it Watergate. When are they going to announce that fucking sequel? Because it's so unresolved. Post 2 Hardly Post. Post 2 Hyperpost come on. Okay good call of course. Yes I forgot that's our bit.

[01:59:04] So that's a movie called Sugar Girls. And it lost a lot of money theatrically. We're going to talk about it. It was slammed by critics and then became one of the biggest home video films of all time. Yeah I mean yeah we still we both ordered it.

[01:59:15] I haven't bought a DVD in years. Well I know you have. But yes yeah yeah. But I hadn't. No no it's fair and like it's a classic like midnight movie that then becomes right.

[01:59:25] I'm like I feel like it was famous at the video rental store because it was this NC 17 movie had this very provocative poster which is all black and then her leg you know. That's a good poster.

[01:59:37] I've seen that poster recreated many a time for drag shows and it's always good.

[01:59:40] But then also like all the covers of the home video released and this is a movie that's been really released like a thousand different times have gotten goddier and goddier and they've also like they were one of the first. They even braced it.

[01:59:50] Yes and they have like the special features with like the drinking games. I remember they packaged it with shot glasses at one point. Really? Like it peaked DVD when you could like make anything into like a fifth release of something. Yeah.

[02:00:02] There's like all the sort of knowing self aware like we're Rocky Horror now reframing by the company itself. Yes. Which is pretty fascinating. Well because at some point I guess you have to. Elizabeth Berkeley was dropped by her agent and other agents refused to even take her calls.

[02:00:16] Jesus Christ. It's like there was like assaulting of the earth. I mean like and the other thing that's sort of sad is like this movie didn't ruin Verhoeven's career. He gets to make Starship Troopers two years later which is incredibly expensive movie. Yeah right. Two years later.

[02:00:29] Yeah Starship Troopers is 97. He gets to make Starship Troopers. I mean and there is the famous story of him making a VFX presentation of a cow being ripped apart by a giant bug and then he walks out and goes please let me make this movie.

[02:00:41] That is how he got Starship Troopers funded. But also your like Verhoeven impression is. Give me that money quickly and then I'll tell you what the movie's about. Yeah right where they're like Paul we had this idea for like a movie about an invisible man.

[02:00:55] Oh cool just having that money very quickly. We want it well wait a second it's like you know like an updated. Sure just have me the money quickly. We're thinking like a budget of like 40 million. Yeah yeah yeah. Hand me the money. Okay here you go.

[02:01:06] It's about rape. You can't stop me. Runs away with the briefcase. That's every. I have the money now. You want me to make your bug movie? Have me the money quickly. Yes yes 100 million dollars. It's about Nazis. Never alone Paul Verhoeven a dollar.

[02:01:27] If he tells you he needs a dollar for coffee. Not cheap coffee. He's not coming back with French roast. I'll tell you that much. Okay. So Caroline you watch this with your pals. Yes. What were their final reviews of this movie?

[02:01:43] Um I mean I think we all loved it until it went on too long. It does go on a bit. Yeah kind of good Washington two stages almost take a little break. Yeah and actually neither of them had seen the full version.

[02:01:53] They both seen it a bunch on cable. Right you got it just super chopped up right.

[02:01:57] So they were actually like so the scene where she goes and kicks his ass like that one is super chopped up because she's topless at the time with we did not mention very red nipples that look like pepperoni and don't understand why they happened. Very strange moment.

[02:02:08] They're made up nipples. I just don't think the show understands nipples just like in a lot of ways. It's almost like he wrote the script so that he could get notes of people correcting him and learn the answers to the questions.

[02:02:20] Like he's a boy who doesn't understand what girls are like. Yes how cold do they have to be? Ice cold? Right. Should I have a bucket of ice on hand? For girls on her period do you check? Right. Do you believe her or do you have to check?

[02:02:34] Do they put lipstick on their nipples or not? How do you know she's enjoying it if she's not fully having a seizure? Right. So we're gonna play the box ups game. Right. And I'm gonna sit back and watch it happen. Okay this movie came out September 22nd 1995.

[02:02:48] Never forget. Great. Um it was the it was rated NC 17. It was released wide ish 1300-1400 screen. Pretty wide. Pretty wide. It's not happy. No it's fine. It's fucking fine. Keep going. The movie cost $45 million to make. Wow. Just a lot. $95. It grossed 20 domestic. Okay. It's grossed.

[02:03:11] It's made a profit. Yeah. They said it made over 100 million on VHS alone. What number do you think it opens to? 7. 2. What? Wow. Great. $8 million. Okay. For a 45 budget that's not great. So it was pretty frown loaded. Sure. Yeah. I mean yeah it's multiplier wasn't good. No.

[02:03:33] It opens number two. Number one is also a new movie. A pretty definitive crime film of the 90s. Cop movie? Yeah. Detectives. Detectives. Two of them. Two of them. On the trail of a killer. Seven. Seven. David Fincher is seven. His second film. What's in the box?

[02:03:56] Different things. Okay. Number 12. Different things. There we go. Number two. Sorry. Number two showgirls. Number one is seven. Number three is another camp classic of the mid 90s about drag queens. It's Won Fu thanks for everything. Yes. Yes. Which has made $24 million in three weeks.

[02:04:21] It's going to make 36. It makes more than showgirls. Yeah. That's pretty good. Not a bad movie. And a lap set. Swayzee, Snipes. Lucky John. And Luigi Mario himself. John was on the move. Oh my God.

[02:04:34] When he was at the Gotham and he was like presenting some award and he was you know whatever people. Did you get to meet Johnny Leggs? I didn't but someone was like oh boy this is long or something and I was like he's Luigi show some respect.

[02:04:46] Did they show any respect for that? Some people did. Yeah. I can't remember what he was presenting it doesn't matter. And he had a bold take on that character too which was what if Luigi only talked out of one corner of his mouth.

[02:04:57] So what if Luigi were while Luigi? Mario. It is pretty amazing that they were like these two characters their video game sprites they're famous for one thing being Italian-American. It's cast a British guy in a Puerto Rican guy. Like what like how and yet they're both good casting.

[02:05:16] What's the other thing that famous for? Their brothers. Let's cast a 21 year old in a 47 year old. Like Ligasama was so young in that movie. I'm sorry he's not Puerto Rican. I knew this no no no he is a Puerto Rican and Colombian. Sorry.

[02:05:33] Anyway I just wanted to triple check. He's a New Yorker so you know you said carry him. There was at least 15 years between the two of them in that movie right? That show. Oh I mean there has to be. I mean Hoskins was born in 1942. Okay.

[02:05:47] And Ligasama was born in 1964. So yeah there is a 22 years between them. You were almost exact. Brothers. Brothers okay number four. I believe that's like the second time very quickly we've invoked Super Mario brothers on this podcast. Yeah I can't some other time right now.

[02:06:07] Number four is a famous teacher movie. Big hit of 1995. Dangerous Minds. You got it. This was a big weekend. Yeah you seen Dangerous Minds? No. Michelle Pfeiffer. Oh well I should that immediately got me interested. Yeah it's not a great movie. I just watched TV comedies.

[02:06:25] I don't really watch movies. That's your description of this recording session. Yep. That is so cement. Number five he's getting them fast Ben. Yeah I know. Number five is another cop movie. It's like sort of a gritty New York City crime drama. How many cops?

[02:06:44] From a very famous director. I mean there's one major cop. It's about a cop and like a kid like a certain teenage boy. Cop and a half. No it's a drama. It's a cop and a teenage boy. Big star. Who's the big star?

[02:07:00] What is the cop a big star? Medium star a famous actor. Not exactly like a box office draw. And is the kid famous? He becomes more famous but not huge. Like a sort of like pretty well known actor. Directed by a pretty famous director.

[02:07:17] Who makes a lot of movies. So just a lot of medium famous people. Yeah yeah it wasn't a huge hit. Made 13 million domestic based on a book. When was this director's... I don't like this movie. We're in it. We're in it. I mean he's still going though.

[02:07:33] He pumps him out. 90s is one of his... The 90s, especially the early 90s is when he's famous. Ladies early 90s. Kind of a misstep. There's a Netflix show out right now based on one of his movies. Is it a Spike Lee film? Spike Lee film.

[02:07:46] And it's a cop and a kid? Yeah a teenager. 1995. Is this Clockers? Clockers. I've never known what Clockers is about. Oh really? It's like a murder mystery. Kind of. Harvey Keis tells the cop and Mekai Pfeiffer is like the kid who... He gets more famous. Yeah he does.

[02:08:05] But he's not like a superstar. He's like a famous actor. You know. John Tautaro is in that movie. Shockingly John Tautaro was in another Spike Lee movie. I know you can't believe it. Can't believe that. Who else is in that movie? Delroy Lindo.

[02:08:19] But it was yeah, it was Mekai Pfeiffer's debut. Okay. Isaiah Washington, Keith David. Aren't they now threatening to make a TV show out of that as well? Threatening probably. It's a Richard Price novel. There's threatening Netflix at Knife Point to make a series out of Clockers.

[02:08:33] No one has to threaten Netflix at Knife Point to make anything. That's what they tell them. So we've also got Unstrung Heroes in the top ten. Remember that? Nope. You know who directed that movie? Diankee. What movie are you talking about? Unstrung Heroes. Okay.

[02:08:50] I should look at that. Starring Andy McDowell and who? John Tautaro. I'm not kidding. Got usual suspects hanging around. Hackers? I bet you like that movie. I've never seen Hackers. Is unusual suspects gonna have to change their credits? Oh, because Kevin Spacey was in it? No, there's Kevin.

[02:09:13] Kevin Spacey. Oh, we should mention that. Yeah. That's really good. Our fans are... We made a joke about credit billing with Butt before an actor's name. Instead of Hand or Ray. And there was a whole Reddit thread that came up on the Reddit, the subreddit for our podcast,

[02:09:28] debating what the proper use of Butt would be. And what they came to is actors who have now been outed as horrible monsters. You have to sort of apologize in the credit block. Gabriel Byrne, Benicio D'Altura, but Kevin Spacey. But Kevin Spacey. No, that's perfect. You got Babe?

[02:09:46] Uh-huh. A good movie made by good people. Starring a good pig. I just want something to be nice in this world. That'll do, Griffin. Butt, Babe. And then right behind it you got Braveheart, baby. That's right, Back to Darkness. Butt, Mel Gibson. Directed by a butt. And starring.

[02:10:05] You got Mortal Kombat. Batman Forever. And this is also the weekend that Empire Records debuted in 87 theaters. That I've seen. Classic. I'm starting to feel like Ben now. We're done. I'm feeling baked, Ben. Just end it. Even worse than my white cheddar bagel twist.

[02:10:27] I can't tell if you're kidding or not. Because I know you're doing your bit as well. It's locked. You just handed me a napkin. Oh, there wasn't something written on it? Is there something written on it? Is it for me? Hold on, it's a note for Caroline.

[02:10:40] This might be optionable. This napkin of yours. It says do you want to keep doing this podcast check? No, no, no, no. Caroline, Caroline, how do you feel about this? I think you got something here. Yeah? Yeah. What's about to happen? Let me see this.

[02:10:56] Just congratulations on being on the ground floor of this. This $10 million idea, Ben, just talking about a napkin. Do I read it? I think you do. I read it, read it. Here we go. A napkin. Through your white cheddar bagel twist. Which you're eating as we speak.

[02:11:13] He is. I'm done. Ben has written. Can't wait to get this movie. We're ending the episode on this. What if the hangover but young? The buzzed. The buzzed. Alright, so please remember to rate your... Thank you all for listening. Go to Blankies.red for some real nerdy shit.

[02:11:33] Thank you so much. Thanks for our guda for social media. Oh, well thank you. I'm so sorry. Joe Bowen, for Power Ounce for our artwork. Lane Montgomery for our theme song. Caroline, thank you so much. Thank you and I'm so sorry.

[02:11:47] As always, I really hope Donald Trump isn't still the president by the time this episode comes out. Just say that every week.