The Adventures of Tintin with Joe Garden

[00:00:01] Blank Check with Griffin and David Blank Check with Griffin and David Don't know what to say or to expect All you need to know is that the name of the show Is Blank Check There's a clue to another treasure How's your thirst for podcast, Captain? Unquenchable Tintin

[00:00:28] Podcast Captain? Jesus Christ No, let's keep going. That was good. Let's keep going. Welcome everybody To Blank Check I'm David Sims He's so upset guys. This is great. That was our second take and I still fucked it up What? Podcast Captain? How's your thirst for podcast, Captain?

[00:00:50] I thought you were gonna say podcasting, you know It might have tripped off the tongue a little easier Yeah, well You're not letting me legally do what it takes I think that was good. What do you think? What do you think, guest?

[00:01:03] I think it was pretty good. You sold it David's trying to initiate the thing where we have the guest talk before we introduce them So feel free to continue saying whatever you want A name guest for the next five minutes before we introduce you

[00:01:15] Not a problem. I got a whole bit prepared Wait no, no, no. I'm sorry there's no bits This is a no-bits podcast This is after all Blank Check with Griffin and David That is correct. It is Blank Check with Griffin and David We are hashtagged the two friends

[00:01:28] It's a podcast about directors, filmographies People who have massive... NO! You tried to slip one by me I did. I'm sorry This is a no-bits podcast But it's about people who have massive success Early on in their career and they're given a series of blank checks

[00:01:44] From Hollywood, sometimes an unending series of blank checks Sometimes? Sometimes those checks clear They're fine. They go and they deposit the checks That try to cash them out. It works. Everywhere, everything's fine But sometimes... They bounce, baby! There you go And we do mini-series on different directors

[00:02:05] Going through the filmography one film at a time We are currently on the films of Steven Spielberg The DreamWorks years Yeah although at this point isn't DreamWorks kind of in the tank? I guess not Yeah I guess we should address

[00:02:19] We've been doing this mini-series so out of order We've been talking about the chronology of DreamWorks But this... yes, let's... It's now. These are the first movies where DreamWorks is not even a logo anymore It starts dissolving in a major way But let's just say...

[00:02:34] This is a podcast Of course That's what's called, and the film we're talking about today Is this 2011 Masterpiece The Adventures of Tintin Subtitled in certain markets The Secret of the Unicorn But in America just the Adventures of Tintin Right Because people are like, secret unicorn What?

[00:02:57] We're very anti-secrets As Americans Yeah that's true Yeah we're a very open podcast For example I just found out Ben has a cat A cat named Pig It's true Miss Piggy Oh that's the full name? Wait a second! Which one is it? Well, formally it's Pig

[00:03:15] But she's a lady cat so I call her Miss Piggy from time to time Formally it's Piggy? Like her formal name I thought you said formally But casually I call her Miss Piggy How are we doing guys? Good!

[00:03:29] I just read a press release about Will and Grace coming back to NBC while you were doing it Is it happening or not? 10 episodes That's all, how can they contain the greatness to 10? I don't know man It's a mini series, it's a limited event series

[00:03:42] Yeah it's like the young pope But Will and Grace Great What else, none of them have anything to do right now Hey Even Megan Mullally's kind of taking it easy How do you think people are going to feel about the young pope by the time?

[00:03:54] We're recording this episode No one will be talking about it It'll be four days after the young pope premiered Right three days after premiered? Yes Three or four days How many episodes of the young pope? Should I... Ten Okay so it'll be, it just started

[00:04:08] It'll be like mid-March Done mid-March or April Bow wrapped You know people won't be forgetting mid-March Who? That's true A.K. the Ben Deucer A.K. the producer Ben A.K. the poet Laureate A.K. the haze A.K. Mr. Positive A.K. Mr. Hosidive

[00:04:23] A.K. the heart detective A.K. the meat lover A.K. close personal friend of Dan Lewis He is the peeper He is not Professor Crispy He is the fuck master He's White Hot Benny He's Dirt Pike Benny Jesus Christ So can Wet Benny

[00:04:38] I said poet Laureate is the finest film critic He's graduated certain titles over the course of different mini series Such as Kalo Ben, producer Ben Knobe Ben Sey, Ben Night Shyamalan Say Benny Thang and Ailey Bence with a dollar sign at the end of the film

[00:04:48] You always hit Knobe weird Knobe Knobe Anyway, and almost all of those nicknames are enshrined on buttons that were just presented to us And those buttons came courtesy of our very special guest today Hey But we'll talk about those buttons in the merchandise spotlight

[00:05:02] Save it for the end of the episode, key people On the hook until the end Now you have something to look forward to at the very end Our guest Yes You know him, he's written for The Onion and Adult Swim But if you're a hardcore blankie

[00:05:16] If you're covering the extended universe Got your eyes all over the place You know him as an important figure In the blankie mythology Because he has launched For months Perhaps even years now I think it's getting It's about a year I think Slow rumbling campaign

[00:05:35] Which has then turned into the loudest, most aggressive campaign I've ever seen anyone have for anything His name on Twitter is blank check guest Question mark Which I'm changing to exclamation point after I go into this Hey, there you go The Great Show Garden is here today

[00:05:50] Hey everybody, thanks Thanks for being here Joe Thanks for having me I just would like to point out that the only reason I started my aggressive campaign was because Early on you said, I think it was you David said

[00:06:02] Well now we've had everybody from our trivia team on the show That is true However, I was an alternate on the team twice And that set my blood to boiling Sure So it was just that, you just said Have we had everyone? We've had everyone

[00:06:16] Ramona's been on the Avatar episode We haven't had like We haven't had a comment on No, doesn't he live in like Bulgaria now or something? No, he lives in New York We should maybe get him on, yeah We haven't had like Molly or so

[00:06:28] You know like our friends who are not in the entertainment or media industries Sure, sure And including alternates there may be a few Bridey hasn't been on Sure We'll have Bridey on some day I'm sure She lives in LA Like Morgan Evans' girlfriend was on a team

[00:06:43] That's true And also they're no longer dating Oh Who is? Yep, didn't see Yeah Oh, but someone I was once dating very briefly was on the trivia team But you weren't there Oh, no, but you were there another time You know what, let's stop talking about this

[00:07:00] Hey now Wow, the trivia team is just a Literally a bad romance, isn't it? Yeah There was a lot going on on the trivia team, you know Yeah Oh, hey, you know what? This could be really late by the time this episode comes out

[00:07:12] But I'll say there's not the wrong topic What? What is this going to be about? I want to wish a congratulations to a former guest on trivia team member Rachel Lang Mm-hmm Oh, she got married She just got married to Alex Pitts Yeah In January That's right

[00:07:28] And they were both with us at Turuk They both appeared in our Turuk episode And now they are wed Now they are wed It's unfortunate that they couldn't get wed at Turuk the first flight It is unfortunate But uh And it's unfortunate that our congratulations have to come

[00:07:41] Five months late Well, this is the thing, we were recording Split in a couple days And we could do some of the timely stuff then Yes Because that actually posts next week Yeah Anyway The Adventures of Tantan The Adventures of Tantan The Adventures of Tantan

[00:07:56] Do you like this movie, Joe? Uh, I have a lot of thoughts about it And I'm not sure if I I'm just ready to talk about it Because I'm not sure that I love it I'm not Okay I don't dislike it It just seems like a

[00:08:08] It's a weird movie to me Um It is a weird movie It is certainly a weird movie It's a movie I watched this with Jonah It's a movie that she said doesn't know its audience Which I think is fair It's an odd movie But then I

[00:08:21] So I'm a Tantan obsessive Okay I don't know if you guys are Yeah, yeah Absolutely I grew up with those books Same here Like my dad gave them to me And so and I was thinking about it Like I read them obsessively from a very young age

[00:08:33] And yeah, no I mean like people died in them It's probably the first things I've read Where people died People were waving guns at each other And like Tantan shoots and he's only 14 Yeah, all kinds of dark themes And then you're watching the movie

[00:08:46] And you're like, well no This is very faithful to the books But I'm yes Maybe I understand that a child in 2011 Is not going to want to watch The Adventures of a cub reporter Who, you know, busts like drug runners And

[00:08:59] Lives alone in an apartment with his dog Yeah, and like Befriend's a middle-aged alcoholic Tantan's weird Helps him inherit a Not a stately home but a nice place It's a stately home, it's a manor Sure, it's a manor It's not a mansion Tantan is weird tonally

[00:09:16] And it also gets in that territory of like Why are Doc Brown and Marty McFly friends? Yeah, that's true That's true Like he gets into that territory Which I think more often happens with Cartoons and like children's books Where like whoever's writing them will just be like

[00:09:30] Where's some interesting characters? You put them together and you don't feel the need to explain Why they're friends with each other? Well right, and especially I mean We know in the books Tintan It's like initially it's just like Tintan He's a boy reporter

[00:09:40] He goes on adventures to like other countries As beloved dog Snowy He has a beloved dog who helps out A.K. Milu Milu A.K. I mean what? Milu Ben A.K. And then like after about six or seven books You know, Herjay writes this haddock character

[00:09:55] And he's like this guy is kind of like the extroverted id You know, like this is good He's a nice balance to Tintan I'll just keep him around And yeah, like why would they be friends? I don't know And it's sort of the crude development

[00:10:07] You have Professor Calculus who's not in the movie And you have the Thompson and Thompson Who are But they're not used as well as they could be No, I mean this The movie is trying I think to Hit a lot of the touchstones Yes Without, yeah

[00:10:24] You know without like you know Weaving them all in seamlessly You know some of the stuff is just like Well we gotta you know They were wise not to use calculus This is 100% That's someone you bring in later Yes, this is 100% like a Tintan and Haddock movie

[00:10:39] That's what this is It's like a Tintan Haddock Basically, Arjun's story Yeah It's a perfectly I think it's a good movie I think it's a great movie I don't know if I'd say it's a masterpiece But I think it's a very good movie

[00:10:50] And I think it is a very nice starter To a franchise that does not exist You know I'd love to see the next two movies Well and one could argue A corrective to a franchise Already You mean Indiana Jones? I'm a little betty

[00:11:05] But let's do a little housekeeping on DreamWorks Cause you raised a good point here Which is that we haven't been talking about this Because we've been recording out of order DreamWorks founded as A full deal It's a proper studio It's a studio They have their own distribution arm

[00:11:18] They have their own fucking like lot You know like all that fucking shit And over time DreamWorks becomes kind of Unwieldy Right? Yes The most profitable division is their animation department Yes Which after like Shrek blows through the roof

[00:11:36] And then they have like a run of big hits They spin DreamWorks animation Off into becoming its own studio They do It is its own entity Its own like individually traded stock You know Yeah DreamWorks DreamWorks' last movie is Just Like Heaven In 2005 That is the last

[00:11:57] Everyone remembers Just Like Heaven Joe's making it Vaguely Reese Witherspoon's in a coma Yes cause this was She's not actually dead Not to talk about it This was a film trivia trick question Where they were like is she a ghost or not

[00:12:09] And we were like yeah she's a ghost And they were like well no she's not dead She's in a coma She's in a coma but then she becomes a ghost And she starts to name Mark Ruffalo She's in a coma But she's haunting her old apartment

[00:12:19] Which Mark Ruffalo moved into They fall in love And then he realizes she's in a coma And wakes her up So it's sort of like Beetlejuice If Beetlejuice was just in a coma If Beetlejuice just wanted to like date Alec Baldwin Right At the end of the movie

[00:12:32] And Gina Davis wasn't in it Yeah Or you could whatever Or if it was Alec Baldwin wanting to date Jeffery Jones Uh sure yeah no right exactly Yeah no Beetlejuice wouldn't even be involved No Beetlejuice wouldn't be part of it No one would call him

[00:12:43] Uh a thing I remember very You just saw the bye bye bands Speaking of we were just talking about the bye bye bands Speaking of movies where you have to say The name of something I did just see the bye bye bands How was it?

[00:12:52] Uh it was uh it was not great great Uh it was not great great Acceptable I go to see most horror movies When they're in the theater because I love I love the genre and it's like I'll support it Yeah I'll support it

[00:13:03] And I mean right now in 30 days You have a new underworld movie And a new resident evil movie I know And everybody is crapping on the bye bye man I mean those two franchises Well no I think the resident evil franchise Is interesting

[00:13:14] I have never seen anything from the underworld franchise I've only seen the first film of each Um but I was talking Also I'm eating a bae I was talking to former guest Previous and future guest Richard Lawson about this last night

[00:13:25] Like they did underworld and resident evil movies When I was in high school Like I remember when those started They're still doing those Like it's really how I feel about it Like really underworld That was like semi cool in high school It was never that big a deal

[00:13:40] There are six of each now Or five of you I think there's five under worlds And I believe six resident evils And one of the underworlds Does not have Kate Beckinsale in it And it's called Rise of the Likens It's a prequel starring Bill Nye

[00:13:53] Who's in all of them As like you know explaining like how The vampires came to fight the werewolves Or something I don't know Like they released that in theaters They spent more than one dollar on it And it grossed more than the latest underworld Yeah well you know

[00:14:11] Just like heaven Just before you ended the DreamWorks thing Right and then it goes under the Paramount It becomes part of Paramount They sign deal with Paramount And they sort of have first look at Paramount And DreamWorks is their own like Essentially a super sized Like production company

[00:14:28] Right Within a studio But Paramount is the one who You know DreamWorks isn't doing home video anymore Paramount's the one using their distribution arm And their marketing team and all of that That ends with the masterpiece film She's out of my league Starring J. Baruchel

[00:14:45] And what's that? That's 2012? 2010 Okay And then DreamWorks teams up with Reliance Uh huh And then it's like DreamWorks can just sort of It's just like a yeah it's like a production company And they you know they'll do some Disney movies They'll do some Paramount movies

[00:14:59] Well it's mostly Disney though Mostly Disney Reliance is the one bankrolling them Disney is the one who's sort of housing them As a full force But you know Studio Like they did Cowboys and Aliens That was universal You know like they did Dinner for Shmucks that was Paramount

[00:15:13] Like they'll They'll fuck around with others You know they now they're just kind of nothing They're just sort of a brand I think the Paramount movies they go back to Are largely cases of Fair enough Things that were set up Fair enough Back in the background

[00:15:26] But then there's even shit like it's like Okay so DreamWorks Oh my god they have Shrek But then they spin animation off into its own thing And then DreamWorks animation Ends up going from Paramount To Fox to now to Universal

[00:15:37] I mean this is a little bit inside baseball Who's making the decisions I mean how do they go from Shrek And all the other like The Spielberg powerhouses into This Into just like Heaven and What was the other one the J. Barrow Shell movie

[00:15:50] Hey she's out of her league She's out of my league The problem was It's very hard to establish A new studio that doesn't have a back catalogue Because like a thing that's able To keep Warner Brothers afloat Is that they have the entirety of The Warner Brothers library

[00:16:04] Yeah people are still buying Casablanca or whatever Right and also just sort of The licensing to TV And all those sorts of things you know And DreamWorks like started in 1997 You know and it's like not a very deep library

[00:16:19] And if they make a couple movies that are big And don't do well like I remember like 2003 The big deal was like their highest grossing film Was Old School Which made 85 million Which was like respectable But if you're a studio There's a lot of bad movies in there

[00:16:33] And that's the number one film you release C-Biscuit was 2003 But that was a co-production right I think that was Universal And DreamWorks and Universal got more of it I know Sinbad they did like The hand drawn animated Sinbad Which cost like a hundred million dollars

[00:16:47] And made like twenty Was this like good It's not terrible I'd say it's not good I don't know why they made that That was the tail ender That's like the treasure planet year Where you're like you know It's finally like the nails in the coffin

[00:17:01] For Old School kind of Disney style Animated films It's weird that the last four years Of like the death rattle Of hand drawn animated films Was all studios trying to make Big boys adventure movies Yeah making very old fashioned Like adventure movies Cause it was like Atlantis

[00:17:17] Atlantis Lost Empire Treasure Planet Rotel Dorado Isn't that in the 90s That movie is fucking crazy That's a weird fucking movie I think that movie is 2000 on the nugget That movie is 2000 Yeah you're right That movie is a homosexual romance adventure Correct yeah

[00:17:34] About two white men who like Ruined a nice civilization Eldorado But I mean that's like That is like That Elton John sings that in the movie Eldorado I think he does I'm not being like cute No no There's a lot of like bathing together And it's like

[00:17:50] No it's movies about two nice men Who are in love with each other We're not being flip about it I mean they're not like Unaware of it Like the two men Like they are No they're in love with each other Every night before they go to sleep

[00:18:01] They kiss each other And they go I love you so much It's just These things they're odd Yes You're right boys adventures Very very 30s And here's another boys adventure They were all really expensive And they all lost one Tintin is a boys adventure And it's animated but

[00:18:18] Motion capture Yeah In a weird way The final point I was going to make about Dreamworks Is like the same way they lost Dreamworks animation Their big thing over the last 10 years Was Transformers The Transformers was set up in their Paramount days And Paramount got Transformers into divorce

[00:18:35] Like Spielberg's still a producer on Transformers But they're not Dreamworks movies anymore I think in anything other than title So it was like You know Too many things that were You know costly failures They didn't have a back catalog to rely on

[00:18:51] Yeah so the wheels come off the butt And I think you have the three major People in charge right Geffen very shortly after founding Dreamworks Kind of stopped being a guy with his hands And the music industry You know is falling apart in general

[00:19:04] And he just became sort of like An old philanthropist guy Rather than a dude who wanted to get his hands dirty And be in the midst of things Spielberg I think got restless Running a studio and just wanted to be making movies He starts making not very big

[00:19:18] Hit movies Which he doesn't really want to make these things Which is kind of an over-arching thing About this miniseries that's sort of interesting Is like Spielberg's this non-stop hit machine With a couple weird outliers It's like big fucking four quadrant hits And then they were like

[00:19:33] What if Spielberg started his own studio And everyone was like Whoa every movie is a Spielberg movie And then he's like Huh what if I make solemn meditations On the gray areas of human morality Like that's what all these movies are about Human morality I can't talk anymore

[00:19:48] Okay so he makes Tintin Let's get on to Tintin Let's get on to Tintin Where we've talked too much Oh and then Katzberg was the third leg And he went off and started his own thing So that's what happened He's doing fine He's still a cutthroat businessman

[00:19:59] Who just wants to make madagascars for all Yeah So the story is Steven Spielberg is doing press overseas For Raiders of the Lost Ark You mean for Crystal Skull Uh oh you're going all the way back I'm not gonna track it day by day

[00:20:13] But oh you know maybe he's doing the press tour And he gets a Tintin Someone says to him like So it seems like your film is very influenced by You're making a Tintin movie Rje Right right right And he goes who the fuck is Rje

[00:20:24] I don't know from Rje Sure And they go Tintin motherfucker He goes what are you talking about Tintin You stutter I don't think he talked like that He was very polite That's what he talked like At that period of time Yeah it was

[00:20:36] It looked it up for a very short period of time He was like I don't fuck with Rje Spielberg's rude face He had the world by the balls at that point He did Why wouldn't he talk by a fucking? Yeah he had the balls and the vice

[00:20:46] And uh And he picked up a book Uh huh And he was like Oh that shit's good Yeah well he's right Tintin's the best Tintin fucking ruled Tintin fucking ruled He's a little boy Who's a reporter He's like 15 He's got a thirst for adventure

[00:21:00] And a nose for a good story He knows when he sniffs out a good story Yeah He has bottomless pockets too Which is really kind of an anachronism at this point Bottomless pockets? Well he has no There's no end to the money

[00:21:12] He can spend a day and pursue a story But Very short pants Plus fours He wears plus fours And along those pockets must be in relation to his pants Which come up just around the knee Yes not only that they're very baggy Yes

[00:21:26] The plus four is a baggy pant Also no hesitation when it comes to punching an adult Right in his nose So this is a thing I love about Tintin Cause we talked about He's also like His hairline is receding Considering it was just strange Considering he's 15 years old

[00:21:38] And he's got the flip Yeah he's got a little Toughed Called a quiff Tintin quiff though We talked about in our crystal skull episode And inevitably we're going to have to Cross our friends crystal skull a lot in this episode We think Which is the previous film Yes

[00:21:55] That Stevie Spilby Gerr had made Correct I got his name wrong How that The thing that I believe Appeals to Harrison Ford about Indiana Jones so much Is that Indiana Jones is cerebral And he's kind of a dork In the body of an action hero Sure

[00:22:12] Whereas Tintin's really just kind of a dork Yeah Like he's good at fighting He's surprisingly good at like firing guns And like riding planes But there's nothing hip about Tintin He can shoot a plane out of the sky With a pistol Right With one shot With one bullet

[00:22:24] Well this is the thing I kind of love about Tintin Nothing about Tintin is badass Other than the fact that he does badass things Totally agree Tintin himself Especially in the earlier When Erej started writing it Yeah He's a blank thing

[00:22:37] You're supposed to just project yourself onto Tintin And you talking about the fact that Like it's like Who's this movie for That's the thing that's kind of great about Tintin Is like Tintin looks like He should just be like Doing like an educational book series

[00:22:47] About like learning like you know Human morality But instead Tintin's about Like fucking punching pirates Yeah cause that's the thing it's like The only reason the plot gets going in Tintin Is Tintin's like Something's up with this weird little This old sailor bro

[00:23:02] He's kind of knows for a good story Yeah this is a good story He doesn't have to get on the cariboujian And fight a bunch of pirates That's the Indiana Jones thing And I think that's the comparison Is that Indiana Jones just wants shit for his museum

[00:23:15] Indiana Jones just wants to Have a nice thing for his museum And he can give a lecture on it He's not trying to make money He just wants to get it Put it in a crate Give it back to Marcus Brody Lock it up

[00:23:24] Tintin is a quote reporter End quote I mean you never see him write a story You never see him like Talk to an editor You never hear what he works for You know Right But he is famous reporter Boy reporter Tintin A boy reporter without parents

[00:23:38] Or an editor Or parents with a name That is not French or Belgian Or anything It's just a name That I just thought sounded nice Tintin And he has no last name Or first name He's like a being Well I think his first name is Tintin

[00:23:55] And his last name is Tintin They do call him Mr. Tintin sometimes But I don't know His middle name's Ricardo I think the thing Tintin, Ricardo, Tintin There's a larger point with this That strikes me is that You know when you're reading the comics

[00:24:06] You can project yourself really well Because he's got the round face He's very blank But when you watch the movie And he's more He's more realistic I was going to say more realistic But because of the motion capture animation He looks You can't project yourself as well

[00:24:23] So a lot of the You're no longer participating in the stories You're just kind of witnessing And it doesn't have quite the same That's a fair criticism And Tintin The animation is maybe where some people Can't get on board with the adventures of Tintin Right

[00:24:38] I'll make my argument for it That's fine I like animation But Tintin Yes, Tintin is kind of a cipher As a character You know I mean you don't know much about who he is And his personality is really just That he like Springs head first into adventure

[00:24:52] But he doesn't seem very tough Other than the fact that he just Never seems shaken by anything It's weirder watching it in a movie Because Reading it in a book when his face is so blank When You're not hearing the voice Lin Clare Or whatever it's called

[00:25:06] That his very, very expressive Blank style of As opposed to how to calculate Thompson Thompson who are much bigger Kind of caricaturey personality driven Tick driven characters And certainly like the villains And the supporting characters and all of that But there are a lot of those similarities

[00:25:23] Between Jones and Tintin And Swarov picks up the Tintin book Is like, shit's fucking good Calls up Urge Urge is like Spielberg Huh Spielberg could make a good Tintin movie Right, because they had made cartoons in the past And there were two live action films

[00:25:42] There were a bunch of pieces of shit Yeah, I didn't like the live action movies No, the live action movies are bad And they're original stories They're not adaptations They're original stories with the cast that were done In France in the 70s He didn't like them

[00:25:52] He didn't like the animated adaptations He gets really into The idea of Spielberg doing Tintin Keeps on saying Spielberg's the only person The imagination, the delicate touch All of this And he sells the rights to Spielberg You know the story, right? What? He dies Oh, correct

[00:26:09] And then Spielberg meets with his widow instead And his widow's like, yeah, sure, have the rights Spielberg was getting on a plane to go meet Urge in Belgium and he died The day before And then when he gets there The widow's like He would've wanted to have

[00:26:23] I'm reading about it now He wanted Jack Nicholson To play Captain Hattok Yup That is terrible Yup Boy And who would've played Probably Anthony Michael Hall would've played Tintin God Right, that would've been the guy at the time Sure, why not In like 85? Yeah, absolutely

[00:26:41] Emilio Estevez as Tintin Melissa Matheson writes a draft I mean it kind of gets close to going He almost makes it before Last Crusade He doesn't The rights lapse Yes, Polanski wants to make it Claude Berry wants to make it Claude Berry wants to make it

[00:26:56] But the widow's like He really wanted Spielberg You know And then Spielberg kind of loops back around Then he Eventually in the 2000s Starts sniffing around it again And now he's like maybe animated He proposes this trilogy Which is maybe I'll do

[00:27:13] The Secret of the Unicorn Red Reckless Treasure Is one movie You know doing these two-parter parts The book series are The books are kind of diptyx Yeah, often There's some that are stand-alones But the most famous ones Are kind of two-parters Yeah Then he would do

[00:27:27] The Seven Crystal Balls And then an adventure And then you know Maybe like Tintin and Tibet Something like that And he's going like Do I do straight animation Do I do live action with some CGI He likes to work a Weta digital

[00:27:38] So he reaches out to them to say Hey, think about doing Tintin Wanted to do a test to see How his CGI snowy would look Right And Peter Jackson Who had founded Weta Gets, you know Intercepts that transmission And goes like Fucking Spielberg thinks

[00:27:52] He's making a Tintin movie I fucking love Tintin Yeah Let's make a Tintin movie Well, you know what It's very charming Go ahead Without telling Spielberg They make their test of the CGI snowy Right And Jackson dresses up as Captain Hattuck Right

[00:28:06] And films himself as the live action element On video saying like Yo, Spielberg I'm Peter Jackson Let me in on that Tintin It was charming It was really charming It was funny Peter Jackson is charming And he looked like Hattuck He really did Yeah Right

[00:28:22] The outfit's really good And they were filming him In a CGI background To be like Here's a photo realistic background Here's a photo realistic snowy Here's a real Hattuck And Spielberg is like Interesting Pics of the phone calls him He really does look like Hattuck

[00:28:34] Looks a lot like Hattuck Especially when he was In his mid-weight level Yeah, right I once was Captain Hattuck For Halloween Oh, cool He's not hard to do No As a costume Because he like all Tintin characters You know It's a lot of big obvious elements You know

[00:28:50] He's got a big sweater It's blue And it has an anchor on it He wears a blazer And a You know, sailor's hat And a beard And like that's about it Ben, you've been getting into fashion recently How would you rate the The style of the Tintin universe?

[00:29:03] I loved it Just throwbacky It was really fun I mean Tintin himself It was pretty rough Yeah, I don't know You mean his style Of the powder blue Yeah, I'm not into the Capris Yeah The pants And then he's got the little collar popped But no

[00:29:20] Like all the Guys on the ships Were looking real sharp Nice jackets Cool hats The policemen And the like city dwellers Yeah I was really immersed Definitely in the fashion So, I think Jackson's the one who makes this big push Just to be over it He goes like

[00:29:37] What if we go in on this together Right And they come up with this plan What if we do like You talk about Pete Jackson Peter Jackson Okay PJ says like You direct the first one I produce Then we switch True West on Broadway style Right

[00:29:51] I direct you produce Right The third one That's a freebie We'll figure that one out later Yeah Maybe we do it together Even was sort of Floated, yeah And then Jackson goes like But what about motion capture Kind of sells them on this motion capture thing

[00:30:04] And Spielberg gets really into this idea of like I could never figure out Whether to do live action or animated It's a property that exists Somewhere kind of in between Right There's a certain heightened quality That like If you do a live action Tintin

[00:30:15] The French ones look really weird And they try to use makeup To like approximate the features No it looks bizarre I've seen staged Tintin Like their plays And those are good But that's different Because you're in a theater You know you can not suspend your disbelief

[00:30:29] But you go into a territory where you're like Do you choose to make it Dick Tracy-esque Where you go so over the top And so heightened That it becomes the style Or do you set it in reality In which case you have to tone down

[00:30:40] A lot of the elements of books In order to make it look more Every day Right And he has this idea There's the happy medium Oh I don't want to do an animated film I like working with actors In you know What's it called?

[00:30:54] Mocap there's the thing they call Like in the space or whatever it is The volume Where you're recording with people You can actually fucking operate the camera So even though I don't have the set I have the camera here I can figure out my shots

[00:31:06] I can move it around I can do these complicated moves Sells them on that Films it They do it And Jackson I think does a lot of The post-production kind of stuff Since he has the experience in that But it's the one who shoots it

[00:31:18] Worse with the actors It comes out in 2011 It is Stephen Moffat writes a draft Egger Wright and Joe Cornish Finish the draft Because of the writer strike Like it all gets fucked up And by the time the writer strike ends But so yeah So they you know

[00:31:32] Three great British writers Work on this adaptation Of not a British work But it certainly worked It's incredibly popular in Britain Yeah Much more so than in America In America it's more of a niche property Right and Tintin's at the cusp of like Overseas box office grosses

[00:31:46] Or carrying more weight Yeah And I think that was a big thing of like Sony dropped out of the movie Very shortly before It was to be put into production Because Spielberg asked for his customary 30% of the gross And they were like This is a gambit

[00:32:04] Tintin's not big in America It's an overseas play This and that And then I think Paramount stepped up to the plate Then late Or maybe it was universal Dropped out and Sony replaced it Whatever the fuck it is Whatever the fuck it is

[00:32:19] But there was a lot of hesitation To get the movie made And it was like Okay it's gonna work in Europe It's gonna work in Europe And it comes out In one of the weirdest moves of all time Comes out the same fucking week as Warhorse

[00:32:29] Spielberg decides to release Two movies within three days of each other And both wide releases Both like 3,000 screens in America And both very similar Kind of like Wide appeal Apple dumpling gang movie They're like very earnest Like you know Like old fashioned Kind of dorky family movie

[00:32:47] I mean Tintin Makes Warhorse look like care bears I mean like Yeah go ahead Right But he releases one on Wednesday and one on Friday And the movies kind of cannibalize each other They both end up around 80 You have to think that

[00:33:00] If he had released one Spielberg movie At Christmas time One of them would have gone Release Tintin in the summer But it makes no sense to release it at Christmas Warhorse is your Christmas movie It feels like putting a Spielberg movie With that in the Christmas weekend

[00:33:11] Could do $150 million Maybe yeah sure If you had one If you can or whatever Right but it felt like they kind of cannibalized each other And this movie doesn't have much of a lasting legacy It was shut out of best animated film with the Oscars

[00:33:22] Because they have a real Yeah their anti-Mocab Antimocab prejudice It should have been nominated Yes And I feel like this movie's kind of forgotten Curio and It made It made almost $400 million Worldwide It did do very well overseas But yeah They keep on talking about the sequel

[00:33:40] And it just doesn't happen It's in that Pacific Rim territory Where it has some fans And it did well enough overseas That they'll always be like No maybe we'll make another one Except they're actually doing Pacific Rim And it's now been six years Since Tintin

[00:33:53] I'm really excited to hear that I love Pacific Rim You want to see Pacific Rim too? Hell yeah Well because they're big That is true They are big robots Like they nominated Puss in Boots Bad movie Instead of Tintin I said bad movie I haven't seen it

[00:34:10] I don't know A Cat in Paris Which is okay Okay Chico and Rita Which is sexy Yeah that's a real sexy movie Kung Fu Panda 2 Which is Animated It's gorgeous It's a gorgeous movie It's not good No But it is gorgeous Yeah it looks really nice Animation wise

[00:34:28] It's kind of a triumph And then Rango wins that year Which is Mocap Oh Yeah well Somewhat You know Rango's weird They technically do Mocap They used reference I know Rango's really good though Rango fucking rules Rango's great But Tintin should have been nominated as well

[00:34:44] Didn't it win a Golden Globe though? It won the Golden Globe And at least was nominated for the BAFTA For Animated Film But uh no Oscar Got the best score nomination Which Johnny Williams almost always gets nominated Any year he has a movie

[00:34:57] Whether or not the work is good But this is a good score A decent score I got no beef with the score It's not my favorite Johnny Williams score But I think it fits the movie very nicely I think it's really good I mean it's like You know

[00:35:09] It's certainly not as good As like his Indiana Jones theme But I remember having the feeling When I sat there in the theater And the opening credits started And they were playing The song I was like This feels like the musical theme to Tintin

[00:35:21] Like this feels like the musical And bodyman of Tintin They nominated him for Tintin and War Horse that year Which was overkill Yeah that's fucking stupid But let's get into the movie proper This movie opens with This fucking awesome opening credit sequence And like a jazzy version of

[00:35:36] John Williams theme And they're running through all the sort of The Tintin iconography Right It's a little like the Catch Me If You Can Opening Sure But more modernized It's the same kind of Like it looks like a Sol bass on steroids thing Where it's like

[00:35:54] These abstract images that keep on Morphing into different elements And it's all done in sort of silhouette It all has references Like all the cities Tintin Has been to and his adventures And other people that have popped up in books And so on

[00:36:05] And it uses some of the still images from The books which I like Some of the panels So it's like a nice little primer course Of like this is basically who this guy is You know back story is important But just know that Tintin's getting into

[00:36:15] Adventures all the time Sure And here's a sense of like the legacy And the weight of who Tintin is Right And then we transition from that into Haha He's getting his caricature done Very clever Stevie There's a man Looks like Garze

[00:36:31] And he's doing a caricature of a young boy It was a drawing look like Take it down a notch It looks like Tintin from the comics Well here's the thing about that That I've been seeing with the Herge character That they wanted to make him look Like Herge

[00:36:47] So they did a lot more of a realistic depiction Of him And so then when they switch over To the less To the more like stylized depictions It's really kind of jarring Because you were expecting I was expecting more of that You know uncanny valley

[00:37:00] You are not wanted but you expected it to be Right I'm trying to think of I guess kind of what Zemeckis Was doing at the time Right The Polar Express And Beowulf and stuff like that More like not a cartoonish More of a like Let's see if we

[00:37:15] Like final fantasy Let's see if we can try to get This to look like a person Right But that's not what Tintin's going for There's a weird balance going on Where it's like something like Beowulf It's like okay he certainly uses The technology to make actors look different

[00:37:28] Like he like Yeah he makes Ray Winslow look like Sean Bean Right Which is weird I just cast Sean Bean buddy Like anyway He makes like Hopkins and Malcovich look older Like it's like he puts digital old age makeup on them Sure

[00:37:42] But also wants to make them look like Realistic versions of those guys' Ray makeup In this they look like cartoon Tintin They look like Airje's Tintin Like their noses are bulbous If Airje drew the nose bulbous They're little eyes They're little eyes

[00:37:59] It's like a mimicking of the cartoon But it's also a real face It's a very bizarre approach Well because as you said Has anyone done anything like this since? I'm trying to think No because the only thing I can think of That's similar to this is

[00:38:12] Monster House was also mocap and stylized But they don't try to make them look realistic No that's a cartoon Right there's no detail in that Like they just look rounded and smooth You know This is like They tried to figure out what the actual

[00:38:25] Anatomy would be of people who had those faces Right it's like when you see those weird things On Buzzfeed or whatever What would the Simpsons look like If it was real Or you know like Mario What would he look like as a real person

[00:38:38] And the joke is that it's always Like kind of upsetting and creepy Right I like how Because they have a big nose No one's nose should be that exaggerated feature Or not have nostrils or whatever I mean I think it's interesting Okay so Airje looks more similar

[00:38:52] Tintin they make look more realistic But then a lot of supporting cast like You know Haddock and the bad guys and everything You get into these things where it's like Nose shapes and face shapes And all that sort of stuff that you couldn't get in real life

[00:39:04] What I like about it is I think it's the one It's the one mocap movie that doesn't Creep me out watching it I know a lot of people think Tintin looks creepy I think he looks okay do you think he looks creepy I mean the film in general

[00:39:20] But certainly that character as well The first time like for it About 20 minutes in it took me It took me about 20 minutes to get used to it I think it was creeping me out at first And then I eased into it I think that's fair

[00:39:32] You definitely need to get used to it Especially if you like the books You're like oh you know Like this I didn't realize Like that's how I felt the first time I saw it Like I didn't get it It was gonna look like this

[00:39:43] It's also weird because as you said Like Airje's style was known as Linklair like clear line It's like this guy simple clear lines And then they were like what if we took those clear lines And gave them pores and like Bascule muscular system

[00:39:56] Right that's the thing they've done There's some quote And sped it up to about 17,000 frames per second Right right it's like a very fast movie We're making them look photo realistic The fibers of their clothing The pores of their skin Each individual hair

[00:40:08] They look exactly like real people But real Airje people That's what Peter Jackson says About like the look they wanted It's an odd look to aim for It's insane like it's an insane gambit And it's nonsensical What I like about it And I'm not gonna give them credit

[00:40:22] And say that this was like an intentional Meta textual thing But this is how it ends up working for me Is I feel like this film totally owns The fact that it exists in the uncanny valley Like they're like we're trying to Encapsate uncanny valley

[00:40:37] That is the world that the comic books exist in Where it's like on one hand the tin tin books Are like very banal They take place on like very basic looking Like European streets Right people playing It's set in quote unquote Belgium Wearing like normal clothes

[00:40:50] And then like crazy things happen And you have like ghosts and spirits And like spaceships and shit like that And I think this movie is like We talked about in our Crystal Skull episode How there's the thing where it's like Spielberg's really good at

[00:41:04] Compositing CGI elements into live action films And really bad at compositing live action elements Into predominantly CGI environments And this is like This movie was gonna get caught in that If he tried to make it live action He didn't Yeah And if he tried to make it cartoony

[00:41:19] I think it'd feel too weightless Let's talk about the plot of tin tin I feel like we're getting bogged down In discussion we've already had He's living in the middle Yeah, okay, alright Tin tin Tin tin Okay, so tin tin's walking around In the open market

[00:41:32] Everyone knows him He's tin tin, they love his bylines He's a good fucking reporter And he's a little boy He's a teenager Yeah And then he sees a beautiful Wooden ship, a model ship He's excited, 50 guns Yeah Man of war

[00:41:49] I don't know, he says a bunch of stuff like that Oh, but here's the thing that's already happened At this point Spielberg sets up some fucking gestures We see this dude with spats on his shoes Rocking back and forth on his heels

[00:42:01] We see his hands, his fingers flexing Ooh, Spielberg making us pay attention to something What's that? Where's that going? Right? Sure So simultaneously there's things going on One is, here's this pick pocket Now we know how to recognize him We know what he does with his hands

[00:42:14] We know what he does with his feet And here's tin tin, he's just shopping around Right? Uh-huh And it almost just feels like a Spielberg affectation Oh, just, oh little details Oh, what are little side stories going on here? Tin tin sees the ship, he loves it

[00:42:26] He asks the guy how much it costs Buys it Immediately the sweaty guy comes up to him Who's the first guy we see in the movie Who's got like, crazy orje face Sure Right? And he's like, how much do you want? Let me buy it from you

[00:42:39] Kid, I'm trying to help you Right And tin tin's like, I'm a kid I bought a boat And then, fucking, Daniel Craig comes in With a pointy beard And he is Sackarin Sackarin played by Daniel Craig Not a major character in the book that they're adapting at all

[00:42:55] A minor character Very minor, he's the same character at the start Which is like, oh let me have this ship And tin's like, no thanks And he's like, damn it And like, that's kind of the last year I mean, he's just an antique collector That's it

[00:43:07] Yeah, he looks like a bad guy But that's about He does, because he has like a devil Like goatee and mustache And like the pointiest nose in history And Daniel Craig is like fucking chewing that ham Like chewing it back and forth Kicking it around in his jaw

[00:43:22] Sackarin, of course, you know one of the legendary screen villains Probably one of the most iconic bad guys in the history I see what you're doing here I see what you're doing here You're flipping it Kids fucking love Sackarin Look, it's odd

[00:43:34] It's odd that this is what they went for In this movie Like, tin tin has a lot of cool villains Yeah A lot of cool villains A lot of cool villains Yeah Not a lot of villains like this He's kind of a bellach But what? Bellach from

[00:43:52] Oh, from Rage the Lost Ark Rage the Lost Ark, right Where it's like for how awesome that movie is And how high the stakes are That villain doesn't ever seem to be that big of a thing It's just like, oh, just here's another like stuffed shirt Yeah, right

[00:44:03] Who's like representing Like he's financing the thing That's actually the threat to tin and dinojum My problem with Sackarin And I enjoy Daniel Craig at all times I think he's lovely I think, yeah, I like his voice Oh, I think it is like

[00:44:15] Just tin tin doesn't really have a lot of villains like that Who are like, it'll be mine, I'll kill you You know, and like Right His motivations are shaky at best Sure Is that he's the descendant of the dread pirate Red Rackham

[00:44:29] Well, and that's the point this movie Which they invent But I mean that doesn't even bother me It just, I don't really get like why he cares so much Sure You know, I don't know I mean, Tintin has no emotional arc in this movie

[00:44:42] This movie, the emotional story of this movie is Hattic Right And Sackarin functions as a That's fair A foil, you know Yes, to draw out the best in Hattic And Hattic is someone who feels like he has collapsed Under the weight of his family's reputation

[00:44:59] And Sackarin is someone who has been entirely motivated And empowered by feeling the need to uphold his family's legacy Yeah Uh, Sackarin comes, wants the ship Wants that ship Some funny stuff with the guy, cause Sackarin's like name your price Yeah, the guy's like, oh business for 40 years

[00:45:16] Namely price by four minutes Uh, he's like, I'm sorry, I want this ship I like Chachkis This is already a thing, like I'm in this movie, like already I love Tintin My mom's French Grew up reading Tintin books, right? She would read them to me

[00:45:31] So I like, I love these characters I'm excited to see them on screen But now I'm watching Tintin and it's like Oh man, Tintin's first stance on the movie is That he doesn't want to sell a toy he bought at a market This is my kind of character

[00:45:42] Boy, boy, I'd say name your price great 100 grand Yeah Let's do it, have the boat right now, wrap it up And Tintin into 100 grand Yeah, exactly, he goes home and he's like how will I spend this? Let's have an adventure

[00:45:53] Yeah, he doesn't care about money though as you pointed out Joe He's not, there's never any worry about like Ah shit, I'm gonna make, ends meet this month Look, you could make a list of the things that Tintin doesn't care about

[00:46:04] And it would be longer than the list of things that Tintin does care about Money, women, power, politics No interest He's not going to school Nope, education doesn't matter He likes stories, a good fucking newspaper story About adventures And he likes adventure He likes adventure That's all

[00:46:21] He's unquenchable, his thursure adventure That's all he likes, unquenchable Unquenchable I can't fucking do it, I was gonna try it again But I don't wanna belly flop again He goes home and is playing with the thing The mass comes out, ooh discovery Little silver thing rolls out

[00:46:35] Yeah but only snowy sees that Only snowy sees it Now this is the thing I love about this movie Okay, now I wanna be clear I've seen this movie twice So in theaters And then I watched it again just now Okay You've seen this movie How many times?

[00:46:49] Probably 44 Yeah, you've seen this movie You're like an obsessive about this movie Yeah, I really like this movie It's one of those movies and I have them too That you just put it on And it chills you out Yeah, it's a chill out movie

[00:46:58] And it's like you know it very well So it's just sort of fun to see all the beats Like last night Joe, how many times have you seen this motherfucker? Twice You've seen it, you're like me And I wish I had actually seen it in the theater

[00:47:07] Because so much happens Well we'll get to the action scenes later But yeah I wish I had seen it I think I saw it in 3D Cause good use of 3D in this movie It's got pretty cool 3D I don't remember my theatrical experience Much apart from that

[00:47:21] Like I think I had a fine time I can't remember mine I went to an early screening of it with my father Who did not grow up with Tintin And would leave the room when my mom read Tintin books to me And I sat there with my father

[00:47:31] He was like I don't fucking kiss some kid in a sweater My pain's empty Not knowing that someday his summer grew up to become Some kid in a sweater That's true Yeah, I mean I feel like I've modeled a lot of my life after Tintin Like unconsciously

[00:47:47] But I sat there watching with my dad My dad got like invited to this Tintin screen And was like hey you like Tintin Do you want to go see Tintin with me? And I was like fuck yeah I want to go see Tintin with you

[00:47:56] And then I saw it I just sat next to my father And I was like pumping my fist We were in this tiny screening room that was like Maybe 20 people in total And it was like all like business people And like no one was excited

[00:48:06] And I was there going like fucking Tintin Everyone else was just sitting there stuck And my dad was like what the fuck is this shit Like who cares Yeah he just he didn't know that this was like People were gonna be into this Yeah it's for nerds

[00:48:19] But yes What I like about this movie a lot I mean as you pointed out yes I know every micro detail of this movie And I've tracked all the like minor Like you're like oh here's an element I love in the scene where the mask breaks

[00:48:32] And I'm like what? Well but this is a thing I like about this movie right Spielberg's a details guy And we talk about him being like a set up Pay off guy right And a lot of that is how he uses the camera

[00:48:43] And editing and how he uses camera moves Motivated camera moves to draw your attention Of things I love it Underline things right This movie is Spielberg being like What if a camera could do fucking anything That's what I love about this movie

[00:48:55] What if it like you made a steady cam What if I give you like 15 minute unbroken action shot That doesn't feel even like it's you know Rubbing it in your face And the steady cam operator was Superman Right yeah exactly And you could go anywhere at any point

[00:49:07] So there's just shit like The mass breaking and the silver thing falling out Where like I feel like Bay Wolf would go into the territory Of just like the camera can do anything And it would just feel crazy And it would just feel like you're like zooming around

[00:49:19] In this it feels like Spielberg's very grounded And like it is a camera It's like it's a magic camera that can change sizes And move in any direction So there's shit like the silver mass falling out Which he's able to track as like one camera move You know

[00:49:33] It's a fair point Underneath a cabinet where a camera could never fit Without having to build a whole set for that Right And get the dog's POV Yeah And without Snowy having to like fucking a moat in a human way

[00:49:43] You see what Snowy sees and that he knows it's there And you set up that element Which really quick aside In the books Snowy does a moat in a human way Snowy talks, Snowy has thought bubbles He communicates with Tintin and He does

[00:49:56] Although it's sort of like odd Like Tintin doesn't I don't know he can't communicate with people But he can talk to Tintin Well it was always clear But you never can get if like Tintin totally knows what he's saying Or if Tintin's more just like good job Snowy

[00:50:07] Because that's the Garfield Like you don't have conversations In Garfield where they were like hey Snowy how's your day They never do that But like with Garfield there's that thing where like Okay Garfield's in thought bubbles But sometimes it feels like what John or Buckle's saying is responding

[00:50:21] And sometimes it's just like maybe they're on parallel tracks Yeah They wisely as in most you know Adaptations of Tintin shows to make him non-verbal But he's a smart dog And you get a lot out of him This guy's expressive What do you think of Snowy Joe?

[00:50:39] I like the Snowy I like Snowy in the comics I like Snowy this adaptation Another quick aside Regarding Snowy Carol Cole who is the former editor of The Onion She was a huge Tintin fan still is And she loved Snowy and Tintin so much She got a dog

[00:50:55] Same breed almost identical to Snowy And it's named Dummy In her Hergé Hergé homage I met Dummy a number of times I didn't know that was the back Interesting Good dog I just want to say something about Snowy Sure Snowy's my least favorite part of the movie

[00:51:13] I don't love Snowy I love Snowy Like the dog Right, because Snowy's one of my four or five best friends So if you could just go on and tread carefully For some reason I don't mind it But I guess it's maybe that he's not Mocap

[00:51:28] He's just an animated streamer He's straight animated For some reason He's not quite right for Snowy to me But maybe whatever He's not my Snowy He's fine But he's not my favorite part of the movie You seem very suspicious No, I'm trying to

[00:51:43] Okay, I'm trying to put a case together Like Tencent I'm gathering clues for my story I'll file at the end of this episode Well let me go Let me back him up in as far as He doesn't like in the book Because he actually has things

[00:51:55] He has a personality Right, he has sort of a stream of consciousness He's not as defined as a He's not a defined character He's just a dog He's more of a helpful dog Whatever Like Snowy's a little more of an ironic commentator In the book

[00:52:08] And he is more of a personality He has weaknesses He likes bones And he likes alcohol He likes alcohol Which they probably wisely don't really get into No, they do In the plane he actually slurps up some of the Oh that's right That's true, that's right

[00:52:22] That's the one time he competes with Hattok Yeah But otherwise Yeah, in the movie He's fine He's a good dog He's a good dog I think he's a good dog I'd love to have him on my side In any adventure I don't want to be against you

[00:52:36] I like his sequence early in the movie Where he chases Tintin Fun chase I think it's a good chase I just, whatever Maybe Snowy's just not quite what I imagined Snowy to be That's all he's fine He's good Yeah, he's okay That's fair

[00:52:48] Just remember he is one of my four or five best friends Who are the others? My best friends What do you think, cowboy? Jerry McGuire Okay I'm gonna guess Robocop Robocop's one of my four or five best friends He's a little stiff that guy

[00:53:01] Yeah, but he gets a job done He's got a good heart At the end of the day Deep down he's got a good heart And then My fifth best friend is Oh, that's nice We are the two friends We're the two friends

[00:53:16] So you love how the camera can Like fuck around with this Jumping behind the desk and all that Yes, yes, and make it all dynamic But they've got this silver capsule People break in They steal the thing They steal the boat but they don't get the capsule

[00:53:30] Just slip behind the desk While Tintin's out in vest again Tintin is intrigued Yeah, rather than reacting with like Fuck, my apartment got ransacked He's like, no this means that boat That boat though That's a good boat Also, this kid has a way nicer apartment Than I do

[00:53:47] Or ever have In Belgium in the 30s You could do pretty well in a reporter's salary Yeah, but see Ben You have a lot of vices and interests That's the thing Tintin Just doesn't waste any time Chasing ladies That's true Going out Studying fashion You know Tintin's like

[00:54:04] Stories, adventures Adventures, done That's how he gets his rent Sure And he likes books He likes books They make a point of that in the In the comic When the ransack is his apartment He's mad because one of his books is ruined So He likes books

[00:54:19] He's a reader He's got a landlady Mrs... What's her name? Landlady She has like a name Oh yeah Mrs. Finch Right Who is very used to all these antics You know when like Someone gets knocked out on her front door She's like, oh This again Once again

[00:54:37] I run this on they said the Thompson-Thompson thing Where they are two identical detectives Yeah, although they're not related Because one is with a P and one's without Uh huh, played by Nick Frost and Simon Pegg And very clever casting Agreed And they're looking for a pickpocket

[00:54:52] They are The pickpocket we saw from the beginning of the film Mr. Silk Can recognize through gesture Sure, played by Toby Jones Who I always thought would make a good Professor calculus Maybe I always imagine calculus is French I mean of course all the characters are technically

[00:55:09] Supposed to be Belleson or whatever But like, I always actually imagine calculus With a French accent As a European, yes Right Not a Brit Well so then hire you and McGregor Oh sure, yeah Right You know what Let me little It'll come out I think

[00:55:23] By the time we release this episode But Beauty and Beast looks like a dog shit That's what it looks like It looks like a piece of shit But don't you think most of the time I'm willing to be wrong Because I feel like

[00:55:32] You were saying the same thing about Jungle Book last year Jungle Book was okay I don't think that movie's great either But you were very against it before it came out And then you saw and you were like Surprisingly functional I saw it and I was like

[00:55:43] Oh yeah, it works Although I'll admit like a week later I was like There was a Jungle Book? Yeah John Fevro made a Jungle Book movie I had no idea Like it did vanish from memory Sure Whereas I tweeted about how it said

[00:55:54] I was to masturbate to the Jungle Book And then Saul was a little under You got like half masked You were like, you know what This isn't good Yeah, I gotta sell me But beauty and the Jungle Book At least you're like okay You know animals

[00:56:09] Like this is something where There's some reason to do this In live action Beauty and the Beast I'm looking at the trailer I'm like you just made Beauty and the Beast The cartoon that is good You just did it again You did the exact same thing

[00:56:22] Except it's live action Like it looks like the Exact same fucking thing But worse My dad and I were watching TV And the ad for the new Beauty and the Beast Came on and he went So is that based off the Broadway show? God, your dad's weird

[00:56:36] He's like a troll I mean yes By association I mean no it's not It's based on the cartoon What kind of question is that? It's like seeing Shrek 5 Is that the Broadway musical track? Is that based on Shrek the musical? It's like what in the sense

[00:56:53] That it, yes the track The musical is based on track And this is the fifth track I don't know do you disagree with me That Beauty and the Beast looks like a sack of crap I mean you look at the animation of the cups In the cartoon

[00:57:04] And then you look at the live action Where they're like we put a face on a cup I don't know I didn't think too hard about this This is the one point where I disagree with you We put a face on a clock By the time this movie

[00:57:14] This episode comes out The movie will be already released Or have made a billion dollars And everyone will already have their opinion on it I think the movie doesn't look good I like the design of it a lot more than you do

[00:57:24] I don't mind the design of a lot of it I just, for some reason the You know the cogsworth and the Lumiere All those, those don't I mean those aren't pop-per-ing I like the way the Lumiere and cogsworth look I'm really against the fact that they didn't hire

[00:57:37] Jean-Dujardin to play Lumiere Because that guy is a fucking human French candle It's true That's the one part he's designed to play He is a French candle You want a goddamn Oscar Let him play Lumiere Shouldn't have won an Oscar He shouldn't have They should have saved it

[00:57:50] So he could give him best supporting acts For playing Lumiere You and McGregor is playing Lumiere That's just weird Like every time, I know that And yet every time I say it I'm like wait really you're sure He's not playing the clock

[00:58:02] Yeah and he said like they offered him the part And he was like oh my wife is French I probably can do a good French accent They brought him in And his French accent was terrible By his own admission Right

[00:58:10] They had to redub and reshoot all of his shit Huh Because he was like yeah It was much harder than I thought I had to like two goes at that Why, why him? Maybe get Jean-Dujardin Maybe make a sequel to the movie Why Him

[00:58:21] But this time it's about Disney casting You and McGregor in the live action beauty And the Beast One more thing This is on the record I want this on the record Because we're doing on the record right now Sure Because the movie will come out Yeah

[00:58:34] I think Luke Evans looks great as Gaston And I'm excited for the Gaston scene Yeah that's the thing I'm excited And he can sing He's a good singer So On the record I hope you lived up to that One more thing on the record

[00:58:44] By the time this episode comes out I assume they will have already announced A green lit a sequel to Why Him Yeah of course about you and McGregor Yeah And then Yes And then also the sequel How, her? What's that one about? It's about James Franco's parents meeting

[00:59:00] Zoe Dujardin Good How, her? It made money Why Him Yeah Made like 70 million dollars Yeah it's like made like 20 more than like fences It's made like 100 more than silence Yeah Topical things people will want to hear Rain Man Sorry, sorry, sorry

[00:59:18] Alright what happens in the rest of Tintin He goes on an adventure Yeah No no I'm looking at my fingernail because I Little pain in my finger No carry on Do you buy your nails Joe? I do buy my nails I have a nail better

[00:59:30] Do you fuck with the cuticles or just the nail itself? I fuck with the cuticles I go down and then I like I guess I kind of like Fits you with the cuticles I don't bite the You don't bite the cuticles If I can help that I'm worse

[00:59:41] My dad who's again a lot of airtime in this episode Like picks at the cuticles only Gross It's gross He's got bloody hands He hates Tintin and he thinks beauty in the beast is based off the front I show What an asshole

[00:59:54] This is kind of like therapy for you in a way isn't it? It's all this is I love you Papa Talking about his jerk enough to the jungle book And his best friend Snowy I was talking about wanting to jerk off to the jungle book

[01:00:05] I didn't do it Alright so Tintin he smells adventure And sure enough adventure is on the way Because a guy gets shot in his doorstep And says you should go to the cariboujin He's got his blood on his hands And he hits the thing in the newspaper

[01:00:20] It's not very much blood though I mean that guy got shot Yeah like so much Just enough to figure some letters You think he should just like explode like blanch Should just fly every I believe this movie was rated PG It's a Nickelodeon movie

[01:00:34] They did have people getting eaten by sharks It was not gruesome but it was kind of That's true They're getting eaten by sharks You get bit by a shark That water's gonna get red And is there It's very dark in that scene Is there a children's movie

[01:00:47] That is more centered around alcoholism Than the adventures of Tintin I don't know It actually made me feel a little self-conscious Yeah you saw some of yourself in Hattuck It did You know He's got a problem And it's not just that he wants alcohol

[01:01:00] It's like a self worth thing That's what I like about it It's not just a cartoon alcohol It's an alcoholic problem Go ahead Ben Well I was gonna say like it's like the memory thing Yes Right Yes And it made me

[01:01:14] I was like a one hand feeling nostalgic For this kind of story But then I'm also like But what was my childhood like I remember No Ben I think you had a back with baseball cap And a slingshot And you rode around on a skateboard

[01:01:28] And you shot firecrackers And you shot police stations Or whatever the fucking same shit you did All you have to do is drink a bunch of whiskey And then you can magically remember Four generations past in your lineage Well excuse me You have to be in the desert

[01:01:41] Oh that's true And then Tintin gets on the cariboujin Cause the blood tells him That would have taken a lot longer than any other clue He could have given Because that means he's like Perpetually pointing like poking his throat To get it and then like

[01:01:53] It's a long name And then the other thing is He has to find the appropriate letters In the right order Right Cause Tintin isn't gonna do like A fucking word jumble to be like Okay cariboujin Like that could end up being Like four more obvious things Right

[01:02:07] I mean it's an Armenian word And it's not like that's a normal Tintin Belgian is his language Well French let's be fair Right I apologize Flemish but I don't believe so I don't think so either Yeah no no you're right It's not a word that trips off the

[01:02:22] Tancara Boujin But He finds it nonetheless It's a boat He leaves Snowy at home He's like let me get on this boat But then he gets like kidnapped Right Oh yes He gets kidnapped like right away by Alan Delivery for Mr. Tintin I didn't order anything

[01:02:39] Oh no the delivery is you Yeah he takes his time with it For a forum Yeah He gets kidnapped by Alan Who's not in these books But he isn't No but he's not in the unicorn He's in the different crab with The Golden Claw Right

[01:02:53] Which this movie incorporates A lot of Golden Claw stuff Cause that's the haddock origin Meeting Yes Exactly and he's in other stuff too Yeah he's like a classic Tintin But he was in She's Out of My League Yeah He was in She's Out of My League

[01:03:05] He was in Just Like Heaven Yeah His dream works a repertory play Yeah he's played by Daniel Mays Who's like a Mike Lee guy I love that it's all these Brits You know all these sort of like Sealist Brits It's great Pointy nose and a great coat

[01:03:17] If only David Thulis was in it Good hat too Yeah Thulis should have shown us something I feel like Thulis could be a good calculus too Thulis well Thulis could have been a good you know Sackering Yes I think Daniel Craig is good I do too

[01:03:30] Just to be clear Yeah I think he's really fun in this It's just I guess it's just an odd character I just want more from the villain I want the villain to really pop Or to do more of a classic Tintin Where it's like

[01:03:41] There's not really a big villain It's just like The gears of drug smuggling You know like you know it's just Tintin Just going up against like You know vice Or the villain is actually revealed in Six very tech dense panels Yeah right In a row where it's like

[01:03:55] And then it was because we were Interested in this that we sent And it's just that you're like That are all the interior monologue of a dog Tintin X Machina pretty much Is how they all end Tintin was kind of the original A dog's purpose So no

[01:04:08] Alright so that'll come out too But I just saw a trailer for that That's the dog keeps getting re-incarnated So we have to see the dog die Over and over again They were like What if Marley and me happen six times How fuck is that

[01:04:20] And is the dog always called like Bailey or whatever the hell it all is Yeah and every time the dog dies You're like maybe a new voice Oh no it's still Josh Gad Oh it's Josh Gad All of the dog You'd have to I'm a film critic

[01:04:31] And you'd have to pay me A hundred thousand dollars to see that movie I swear to God I wouldn't do it I would never If you put a gun in me The one thing that makes me You'd have to shoot me with the gun

[01:04:40] The one thing that makes me cry Is watching a dog get injured In a movie Yeah right He was injured There was a dog injured in a VHS viral And I almost lost it VHS viral Sorry But the third VHS It is the third

[01:04:53] I don't think I saw that one I saw VHS 2 It was not very good Which was called S VHS was moving They said it was going to be But then they didn't Then they retitled you I was really into it being called S VHS

[01:05:05] I really want to shout out to Should they do a beta mac? That should be DVD Oh DVD That's a little crap Laser disc Yeah But no There was a movie too with Hit Clips Real player There was an 80s movie I saw one scene

[01:05:21] In which the dog A dog dies I was flipping through channels I saw that dog die I had no context for it And I just lost it It's tough for the dog dying Yeah I will never see this Josh Gad film Never Never He's also imbueding the beast

[01:05:33] I will never see that film either Because Josh Gad has Ruin that for me as well Why do I see it? Well let's say You're a big Angry Birds fan And his casting is yellow He's in the Angry Birds movie? Yeah If a guy like that hits gold

[01:05:47] And comes up with one Iconic voice-acted character That's going down In the annals of animation History Like one of the most Merchandised characters You mean that fucking snowman? Yeah but whether or not You love it What's his name again? You don't know what it is Olaf

[01:06:01] You know what I'm saying He's like very iconic Yeah sure You'd think he'd be like Great I got my one Don't keep tapping that vein You know it's funny though I agree with you But it's funny how All the kids I know Who are into Frozen

[01:06:12] They're all fucking into Frozen Don't get me Kids fucking love Frozen They like the girls They don't like the snowman Or the boys or the moose Or like all their iconography That they have All their plates and bibs The princesses are the big thing Cups are the princesses

[01:06:24] Should I watch Frozen Girls? Sure why not Yeah Yeah You wanna build a snowman? Yeah Okay then Sounds like you wanna watch Frozen Oh it's about snowmen Well there are snowmen involved I thought it was about death Well every Disney movie is a little bit about death

[01:06:40] Yeah I love that It's kind of about Learning to accept yourself for who you are Much like any Disney movie Yeah Right I don't know Well back on subject Snowy in this movie does the opposite Of dying He survives Thank God They kidnapped Tintin

[01:06:56] But he's on the case And he goes on a daring chase And he makes his own way And it's a great example of Spielberg Having the great untethered camera Yeah this is one of I guess Like three or four action sequences In the film

[01:07:09] Where halfway through you're like You sort of You finally dons and you're like Right the camera's not cutting Yeah And it's doing all kinds of crazy stuff Like yeah You're like tracking along the top of a fire truck And then when the jumps over to a different truck

[01:07:23] You jump over with it Right I feel like that movie does a good job In very subtle ways of like Approximating a human hand behind the camera Right Like without feeling like an over embellishment There are like little shakes And when they're like in On a boat

[01:07:39] The camera Like shifts a little bit In a way that isn't overly heightened But it's like Oh there were real camera operator here The boat would be shifting And that stuff This is an advanced version Of what George Lucas was doing

[01:07:52] You know this is the kind of shit That George Lucas is playing around with 100% Just in a you know a good way And the Wachowskis are playing around with Well and the Spielberg thing In the Matrix sequel Yes The Lucas thing was like

[01:08:03] I want to control every element of a movie I want to have a movie where I have Complete control over it And also I don't fucking Actors drive me crazy Right Sure And this movie feels like the opposite Where it's like Spielberg having complete control

[01:08:13] Where he can design every single element But he doesn't go over the top The movie moves fast But it's not like Insane In the way that Revenge of the Sith is No It's like a very performance based Like it's a movie that like

[01:08:24] Is people like giving these great Like grand theatrical performances You love this movie I do But then there are also fucking things Like when they're trying to Thompson Thompson chasing after the pick pocket And he like runs into the woman And then they pan over to him

[01:08:39] And there are the birds flying around his head Yeah right That's good Oh that's a loon tunes thing And it's like Oh no there's a guy with a cage The guy comes with the net And he sort of scoops them up very quietly I love that

[01:08:49] No that's like such a Spielberg detail And if he did that in live action A it would be impossible Or B it'd be CGI birds And he'd be like fuck you You think this is too cute even for Spielberg Right

[01:08:58] But he can get away with those cute things Or like once they're on the ship The Keraboujan There's the thing where They're going in They're sneaking into the The stocks to try to find the keys Uh huh And when he goes in

[01:09:10] The boat is shifting back and forth And there are rows of all these bunk beds And all the sailors Love that Are shifting with them Like that stuff's like fucking cool Love that stuff How do you feel about this stuff?

[01:09:21] I like it but that's where it would have been helpful to see it On the big screen Because when I'm watching it on a You know my I had been in the pedestrian 28 inch television Ain't nothing wrong with 28 That's fine No it's fine But it's like

[01:09:33] That's a gentleman's TV size Yeah exactly For a nice compact area But you know You don't get the whole sense of You don't get the sense of the room at all You just sort of So it would have been great if I'd seen it in the theater

[01:09:45] It was a great scene It's like really Builds up a lot of nice tension Yeah that scene is good because it's like You know Haddock sacks the steak So we should you know He gets on the caribouge and he finds Captain Haddock Who's this drunkard

[01:09:56] Who's technically like the captain But he's just like a drunkard He thinks that he's locked into a room And it turns out he's just right Right he's not even locked in the room And so Haddock wants to get the keys to the booze And Haddock says like

[01:10:06] Okay well be careful Don't wake any of these guys up And he keeps being like That guy for example He'll do this And like that Animal husbandry And so we've got the thing about like Oh Tintin needs to be quiet Right And then The boats rocking around

[01:10:18] They're all falling onto each other None of them are waking up Like it's a funny little subversion Of a set piece we might have seen many times The like Right Creeping around set piece except Yeah no It's not And you get into this thing like We talk

[01:10:32] It's like a fun house You know in the Crystal Skull episode Like I was talking about What I don't like about The sword fighting sequence Where Malt Williams is like Standing between the two moving vehicles And it's just like It feels so ungrounded

[01:10:45] Because the actress feels so disconnected So this is your point And I think it's a fair point It's like you're saying With this he's getting to do some of the shit Some of the tricks he's trying to pull in Crystal Skull They don't work in Crystal Skull

[01:10:56] Because you know It's an uncanny valley in and of itself RIC and we do not believe Yes And in this it's like We're like Oh we get it This is fake so we can be You know this is a cartoon Right So now we can accept these things

[01:11:10] And it's just about having a cohesive reality Like Wizard of Oz looks fake as shit But it's heightened and stylized And you accept the real actors In front of those real sets And the stakes feel real to you Even though they don't feel like actual danger

[01:11:21] You know about the Wizard of Oz though What Never on a Lloyd team Never on a Lloyd team Yes Love that callback This is your first time making that joke And David I'd like to grant you 100 comedy points Oh my god it was delightful Oh boy

[01:11:35] But this is an example of a movie where They can get a late He loves this movie doesn't he He does I love it I love watching him love it I do too it's like I didn't I was not sure if I was going to get this much

[01:11:45] Patch in out of this discussion But I should have known better from Griffin It's fun I'm giving you the honor As long as you like a movie It's fun talking that movie with someone Who knows it inside out Yeah Now if I did not like Tintin

[01:11:57] I might be like Jesus Christ Every scene is a masterpiece with you guys Come on like Jesus He's just getting the fucking keys It's not like you know Jocked to me or what I'm not It's like a story It's like a story It's like a sparkling wine

[01:12:13] Uh huh You know Light Refreshing Fun But it's got an air of sophistication to it You know Is you a bit of a headache if you look at it too long Sure It's a little creepy My dad's not a fan It mimics gunshots in the Tintin film

[01:12:28] Yes yes But all those sort of things It's like all these kind of cute Spielberg moments That he's able to earn by The movie's sort of like general Kind of like charmed like tone of whimsy And the fact that he makes it Like a visually cohesive universe Yeah

[01:12:44] Tintin and Haddock He has to get the keys And then this is a major setup point You know risks his life Seemingly to go in this room And steal the keys away And then because I have to go in the closet And get some supplies They go in

[01:12:57] What's the closet full of booze Haddock only cares about booze All he likes is booze He put this young reporter at risk For booze And immediately Here's the push and pull of Haddock And Tintin Haddock just a drunk That's all he cares about Is a drunk

[01:13:15] He's got chip on his shoulder Right? I think he wants to prove people wrong Right but he is a drunk First and foremost He's self loathing And he's making up for He's compensating it with the bottle And Tintin is a young boy Of endless empathy

[01:13:28] But doesn't particularly care for Haddock But he needs Haddock Because you can tell that Haddock's part Of this bigger story somehow And that it's connected to the legacy of his family Yes but I think also Tintin He's like a pain in the ass friend

[01:13:42] Who wants to help you out You know what I mean? He loves a project Haddock's like a fun project for him Tintin only Tintin could look at this man And think I can get this guy off the sauce Anyone else that looks at Haddock And is like

[01:13:55] Oh he's a desolate drunk Like all I'm gonna do with this guy Is either ignore him or manipulate him But he gazes longingly into Haddock's Little BDIs and goes I can fix him But he doesn't do it for any other reason

[01:14:06] Besides the fact that he wants to further his story He doesn't do it because of his love of Haddock No at that point I think the love develops Yeah it does Haddock definitely drives Tintin up the wall And they have one moment where Tintin's

[01:14:19] You know kind of belief in him shatters Yeah which I think is well played I do too because it's not too big a deal And they get right back together It's not like they split apart for a while Yeah But yeah Tintin's on board

[01:14:31] So Tintin and Haddock escape They get out in a little lifeboat Yeah there's a whole crazy fucking fight scene With guns going everywhere They're running up and down stairs Go ahead Joe Good use of the camera there Because you never know

[01:14:42] I mean it follows him on multiple decks But you never feel like it's doing anything impossible Yes this movie also I think it has really really good cinematic geography You know Yes except for later in the film The crane scene at the end I thought was

[01:15:02] It gets a little wacky But like stuff like that Yeah the crane scene I don't like You can tell that he's not taking shortcuts And the boat is built fully Yeah Waiting that computer And when you're tracking through these rooms Definitely Every room makes sense Yes

[01:15:16] Every layout is totally well realized Which is Yeah That's very true to Tintin Yeah pro ship He was obsessed with Pro ship Very pro ship It's not a Smith ship No Let's be clear He's a good professor calculus Oh baby

[01:15:30] I mean you're just sort of naming actors in their 40s and 50s Who are good Smith has got to be in his 60s though by now Yeah he must be But he's aging like a fine sparkling wine Jimmy Smith is 61 years old Wow That's crazy

[01:15:45] Yeah even crazier is never on Lord's team So Tintin There was an Ellen Barkin Jimmy Smith's movie that just came up Switch Yeah it just came up I was going through laser discs I own Sure And I was like oh there's switch I don't know anything about this

[01:16:01] I put it back and then moments later Luis Diaz who's a comedy producer Tweeted one of my favorite movies is Switch I'm like are you fucking kidding me Because nobody ever talks about this It's Blake Edwards joint The last Blake Edwards movie perhaps

[01:16:13] It's Jimmy Smiths who's like a chauvinist pig Is reincarnated in Ellen Barkin's body Really? Yeah He made son of the pink panther That was his last It's Roberto Benini Never end on Benini That's what they say about filmographies Never end on Benini They do say that Yeah

[01:16:32] And that's why Benini is doomed Benini is doomed His last film will have to be a Benini movie There's no way around it Well what if he directs but doesn't act him It's still a Benini movie It's a Roberto Benini picture A film by Roberto Benini

[01:16:51] You're not wrong Poor Roberto Benini I'm looking at Roberto Benini Well I'm thinking about like Who's in that Woody Allen movie He was really good in that He was great in that on earth It was a very charming He's good in the Jarmusch films

[01:17:06] I would have given him a Best Supporting Actor Griffey To Rome with Love The award or just a nomination Nomination Come on I'm not crazy I think that same year I would have given Haddock a Best Supporting Actor I don't remember when to Rome with Love

[01:17:21] I probably came out later Rome with Love is the next year Yes, that's right So Tenton Haddock escaped into a life Haddock played by Andy Serkis To be clear He's an alum He is good It's the kind of role he kicks ass at For sure

[01:17:37] I don't always love Serkis But I think he's great in this He gets to be funnier in this Than I feel like he usually does He often plays characters that are comedic But are not Are humorous rather but not comedic This he gets to really make use of

[01:17:50] Like comic timing and line delivery My dad loved Haddock I'll say this Once Haddock showed up My dad started laughing a lot Haddock's a pretty lovable character Yeah, he just thought this guy was funny He liked every time he reached for the bottle

[01:18:02] They get in the boat and immediately Tenton seeing Like, oh fuck This Haddock guy starts a fire in the boat Because he's cold Drinking liquor Like this is a nightmare And this is also You know, this is the beginning Of Haddock realizing like God, what's happening to me

[01:18:15] I don't remember the story Of the Haddock family I don't have my boat anymore I'm a, you know, yeah I'm a seaman but I'm burning the oars Of the lifeboat Like, kind of an able seaman does that My only friend is some kid with a hairpoo

[01:18:32] The comic drunkenness plays off A lot better in the comics though That is true Because it's a lot more funnier When you have a guy Like, there's drunk lines coming out of his head Drunk lines are like a little spinny circle Yeah, and he sort of like

[01:18:43] Frozen in some sort of like Obviously off kilter pose But when he's actually in motion It seems a little bit more Like the stakes are high and you're like Oh, that's really kind of sad He's an aggressive man Right, he's an aggressive man

[01:18:52] Well, that's what I kind of like about this movie Is that No, I know what you mean It's weird It's weird, certainly But also that like in the comics They're able to play his drunkenness As more of just like a frivolous Like funny character detail

[01:19:06] And in this because they were aware That like portraying this character Dramatically and spending an hour and a half With him You're going to get sad About the fact that he's drunk all the time Without it becoming like flight This movie does become about like

[01:19:19] Haddock having to figure out how to Fucking like take his life back Yeah You know Like they make his alcoholism a problem Rather than just like Oh, yeah, that's Haddock He's the drunk Yeah The but Back on track He They're or is on fire Haddock is like

[01:19:36] Oh, what have I done Then all of a sudden They're The boat is upside down They're extinguished to the fire And they spot a plane in the distance They're rescued Or are they Oh They're shooting at him Cool yellow plane Yeah Very uh, English patient

[01:19:50] Tintin pulls out his gun Bad news, we only have one bullet What's the good news? We have one bullet Yeah, it's sort of a Cool Yeah, he's rarely cool But this is a line where he's suddenly like I'm going to be cool Tintin's my boy

[01:20:03] He shoots that plane out of the air Yeah But he shoots it in a way that's easy To repair the plane later Which is even better Right, he just That's true He causes engine trouble That is fixable And then Hattuck's like Can you fly this?

[01:20:16] And he's like, yeah, I trained to be a pilot Tintin's gotten a lot done for like a 16 year old Uh, Tintin Tintin seems to have gone to like Four vocational schools They fly the plane Right, but I mean the joke is

[01:20:26] He's like, yeah, I know how to fly a plane And you're like, he doesn't really But he figured he's good at everything Yeah, they get in the plane They identify, ooh boy Here's some like medical alcohol This keeps happening Very, very happening This is something that is

[01:20:40] Even like, cause there's Moments in this movie that are more cartoonish Than the cartoon Yes Like at no time in the cartoon Does Hattuck burp alcohol into a plane's Fuel like a fuselage Yeah, to make it go But that's truck farming I basically agree

[01:20:58] It just you couldn't pull that out It's just funny that you couldn't put it out In the book That's very Spielberg-y And it gets into the like The Funhouse Spielberg Of like what are like exciting Rube Goldberg contraptions I can set up If this guy's drunk

[01:21:10] And the plane is running out Of what he do He breathes them to the plane But also the plane's flipping upside down And so they're in like zero G And the alcohol's flying in the sky And he's able to drink it Like a fucking astronaut Yeah

[01:21:24] And yeah, this is I guess I mean they, it's yeah It's a thrilling landing And Hattuck has to get up on the engine Tintin thinks he still has the alcohol Right You pour it in Instead he has to breathe into it You go inside the motor

[01:21:37] You see it spark up Land, not ready to land yet They land and then they crash And then now they're in the desert Right True The Land of Thirst The Land of Thirst The Land of Thirst Which is a movie that didn't They didn't make that

[01:21:50] That line didn't make Wasn't the book Didn't make the movie In the book they say it all the time It's great It is like The Land of Thirst And you can just see Like feel his desperation When the coverage says It's the best, I love that

[01:22:01] Those books introduced me to the idea of mirages Which I thought were like more of a problem When I was a kid But that was something That you'd have to deal with all the time That and quick and And mirage Yes, yes, yes

[01:22:11] Right it's like that Malin joke About quick sand It's like mirages seem to be like Omni present They're like It's a mirage Like be careful And I'm like It's just when you think You see water and you don't Right Well in Looney Tunes

[01:22:23] There was always the thing where people would think That someone else was food That's true They'd look at someone And they turn to like a T-bone steak That's true In the book they do that With Tintin And it turns into a bottle of wine He turns into alcohol

[01:22:33] And Captain Hattuck Is going to unscrew the The unscrew his head Yeah, it's actually quite nightmarish Tintin terrifies the cork And it's like a really scary It is a really scary image It's like his hat It's so good Great And the scariest part is

[01:22:46] He was only a port That's the scariest part Was only a port By the way I would like to Apologize, I don't mean to be Like crapping on I don't want to seem like I'm crapping on it every time I say in the mook They did this

[01:22:58] But it is one of those things Where I feel like there are Maybe some missed opportunities Maybe some things that They just couldn't translate They were, as you said Griffin they're going for adventure Yes This movie is kinetic It never really stops Like you know it's just like

[01:23:12] They just collide from one Adventure to the next It's sort of a long chase I mean Tintin puts together Pretty quickly Eventually they get picked up By the French Foreign Legion Right You know like Oh yeah because we forgot To mention the whole thing

[01:23:23] That the silver capsule underneath Turned out to be the scroll That has the message on it Tintin has a scroll With like a mysterious message On it Right And some weird markings Right and there were three Brothers to the Rackham family No to the Hattuck family Right right

[01:23:36] Hattuck is the only surviving Member of the bloodline Right They had to unite the three scrolls To then get the secret measure So Sackrin's got one scroll Tintin's got one scroll The third scroll is in Morocco Where they go Bulletproof glass Behind bulletproof glass Yes

[01:23:49] But yeah so there's Yeah this is the French Foreign Legion That's the whole sequence Where Hattuck finally sobers up And recalls like the history Of that happens in the desert too Where he's recalling In the desert yes He's drunk and the heat's Getting to him and he starts

[01:24:02] Remembering halfway through the story He's got those cool images Of like the boat coming over The sand dunes and the sand dunes Turns into water He likes those Like again Spielberg's having fun Those weird transitions The transitions are good The handshake that turns into

[01:24:14] So cool the handshake that turns into Like the car driving down the road And then there's the part where The puddle went When Thompson and Thompson are walking Right Right Like Tintin and Hattuck Stranded the middle of the sea Turns into a puddle

[01:24:25] That Thompson and Thompson walk over Yeah That stuff's fun It's just Spielberg having fun With the cinematic language I think it's great I think it's great I love the boat The pirate ship Pirate ships Where the boats are like Tangled together And that's great action I don't know

[01:24:41] It is And it seems I'm trying to win Joe over No, I agree with that That was actually a really compelling thing With the two masts were intertwined Yes, they're tangled You couldn't And it actually seemed viable It was cartoony enough to seem

[01:24:53] Exciting and viable enough to seem You could believe it And scary I mean like the flames And the boats Yeah Sideways you see people falling off And you get on board the other ship It was kind of That was scary The sea stuff is actually It's upsetting

[01:25:10] It's got real weight to it And then Then like Haddock Halfway through the story Peter's out I can't remember the rest of it Then he completes it They get him to a hospital He's drinking water He's like what the fuck is this thing They're like water

[01:25:21] Ha ha ha Great bit Really good bit Haddock gets ten comedy points So the nurse is like Oh Mr. Haddock ten comedy points And then They're like Fuck How do we get the rest of the story We're so close to this Snowy It's like

[01:25:35] Let me sink some alcohol in there Snowy gives him Some really high grade Medicinal alcohol Yeah And Haddock Freaks out thinks he's on the ship Currently And there's a fun sequence Fun Yeah When Haddock is like Fighting everyone Like the pirates That's right from the boats Right

[01:25:53] They can't stop him Because they need to get the rest of the story And Tindy is trying to coax The story out of him Right Talk him through it There's the nice moment Where he's like I need more drink And then he's like But then you remember

[01:26:05] Tintin narrates to sort of Remind him he doesn't need to He's right Like he's raising the The bottle around his lips And then he decides So he's not going to Finish the story I will say this About the drinking Like sort of like Inducing his flashback or whatever

[01:26:19] Uh huh I feel like it missed out On using Inagata De Vita Yes That is a very good point then That is a very good point If I had one complaint with this movie That is the one I would throw out Great Uh, Stevie if you're listening

[01:26:31] I don't know Maybe do a special edition With that one change I would love Stevie to be listening Yeah, me too Um, so now Tintin puts together The missing piece Red Rackham With saccharines Great ancestor This is an old bitter blood war And the treasure

[01:26:46] Yeah this is not in the books The golden unicorn Is at the bottom of the sea That's what they're looking for Unite the three scrolls You'll get the coordinates You can find this treasure Tintin and Haddock will be rich Which is important because Tintin Literally

[01:26:59] Will need some money Need some money Um, yeah well there's the So there's the whole set piece At the Amirs Where the Bianca Castefuri Yes, Ben Salad And Bianca Castefuri They're dropping in these characters In the books Who are maybe not as involved In these stories

[01:27:16] But you know give them a little cameo In the books he's an opium smuggler And not just a A patron of the arts Yeah, Tintin Lot of opiates in those Lot of opiates Hey man it was the 30s And yeah Full of proof glass She's a soprano

[01:27:31] She hits the high note Yes, she sings her famous song From Faust Yeah She breaks the glass And every all the glass That's a good scene I like that But even before that Haddock it's hurting his ears For whatever reason Because he's got like dog hearing

[01:27:46] I don't know So he runs out Makes sense to me To get out of the room And he runs into the other two guys He figures it out right Ah The scroll And then the The two guys are coming after him

[01:27:59] He gets out of his bottle to take a swig The scroll almost flies away He puts down the bottle and grabs the That's the moment which I really like I agree I like that he has his little Unseen like moment of personal victory here Right

[01:28:12] But then immediately it's flipped back on him Because the two guys come after him They hit him with the bottle Tintin thinks oh he went for the bottle And you know Over the scroll I can smell it on him So now Haddock really wants to prove to Tintin

[01:28:24] Well then we kick off the final No not the final The penultimate and best set piece Yes That this is incredible The car chase in the Jeep Haddock's got the bazooka And he blows up the hotel behind him So the hotel like starts careening down

[01:28:38] The street with them Like the hotel is like on top of a tank So it's like a vehicle Right Tintin's on the motorcycle They're not in a Jeep What am I talking about It's in the motorcycle with the sidecar The motorcycle with the sidecar Right Addicts in address

[01:28:50] Yes and like there's the whole thing Where the motorcycle comes apart And Tintin like goes down the clothes line The handlebars One of the wheels And it's an unbroken shot It's an unbroken shot And it's like three scrolls That's all you gotta do is get three scrolls

[01:29:02] So you're just keeping track of all these characters And it'll move perspective throughout the sequence Like sometimes you're following saccharine Sometimes you're following Tintin sometimes you're following Haddock Sometimes you're following snowy Sometimes you're following that motherfucking eagle Yeah Which you Right there's the saccharine He's got an eagle

[01:29:17] Right I'm not talking about Glen Frey I'm talking about a real eagle Isn't it Fry? Yeah probably he's dead He was in Jeremiah McQuarran He was in Jeremiah McQuarran He was He was? He was Yeah He's like the manager of the Arizona Cardinals Or whatever

[01:29:32] It's an odd role We didn't even mention on the podcast But he's in it Yeah I mean he's got like three scenes So They're tracing each other's roles He's one of his like in a Yeah On the phone Yeah Well, I think the weirdest cameo

[01:29:48] I can think of it cinematically though Is when Michael Bay plays the leader of the Frat Boys In Mystery Men It's a very strange We were just talking about Mystery Men It's been coming up a lot lately I totally forgot about that

[01:30:00] I rewatched it like a couple weeks ago I love it Michael Bay How self aware is Michael Bay? That's a good question That's the question I hate maybe it's a question we'll answer soon Mmm Michael Bay Actually pretty good Mystery Men

[01:30:13] He's only got the one line but he delivers it well Michael Bay is pretty handsome And pretty charming Like when you see Cause he does those ads sometimes where he's like I'm Michael Bay and like I don't want to do an insurance ad

[01:30:24] Unless you blow it up or whatever And you know it's like oh ha ha ha Michael Bay that's what he does right But he's like He's not stiff He's decent I forgot that he's a Mystery Men Another reason for me to check back in Yeah

[01:30:35] My favorite Kel Mitchell joint Better than Goodburger? Yes Oh It is better than Goodburger I also love Goodburger Better than Clifford's big movie? I have not seen Clifford's big movie Kel Mitchell's voice in that Kel Mitchell is a Kel Mitchell He's a bummer That one Kel Mitchell

[01:30:54] Well let's not go down his corridor Jesus It's Clifford's really big movie Okay I mean some props for We played T-Bone Yeah he's 9th build Oh boy Kel Oh the mighty of Fallon It's just so crazy that Keenan is like Now like one of SNL's most

[01:31:14] Like he's right He's become like a pantheon SNL guy Yeah And Kel is He's on Nickelodeon show where he plays Now that Keenan isn't funnier than Kel He is funnier than Kel There's no disputing that Yeah but Kel was kind of funnier when you were 10

[01:31:29] Kel was funnier when you were 10 But then when you're In my opinion even when you're 12 You're watching Keenan and Kel You're like this Keenan guy is amazing Well it's like the three stooches When you're young you're watching Like curly when you're a teenager You're watching Moe

[01:31:41] When you get older you watch Larry And you're like Larry is the Lord Larry is the fucking smart one He's the glue man He's the glue What's it all together? He's the fucking glue Uh thrilling chase It's tough to even talk about Because it's just

[01:31:51] It's a visceral purely visual sequence Of Joy Uh are My friend Simrigal A future past guest He always says to me Cause he doesn't like Tintin And I'm always fucking talking about Tintin When I'm drunk He says like what's so impressive About that shot

[01:32:09] Anyone can make something in one shot If it's CGI No I mean you can But it's like it doesn't look It doesn't have the same look You don't I mean The only thing I mean I'm glad you said that about the hotel Blowing up the hotel

[01:32:21] I didn't know where the hotel came from Right I couldn't quite figure that out That now it makes sense Right But the whole thing besides that Like is pretty Pretty coherent I think you're right about the Yeah you need to pay a little more attention

[01:32:34] To get why the hotel then Slides down after them Yes But the point isn't like No it's ridiculous to say How do they have a camera operator Sitting for that You need to be strong enough To do a good shot I mean it's not about like

[01:32:45] Tenacity and stamina It's about how well designed that sequence is And that the sequence has so many Who are these idiots Oh this is Sam Rigaugh Band No longer a future guest No more appearances until He reevaluates that position Only Exactly It's just such a well organized

[01:33:01] Sequence that has so many good Like story beats in it Like they're exciting like reversals Of who you think's about to grab the thing And where they're going And it's also It's so geographically laid out Where it's like You see them traversing all the space

[01:33:15] And you understand where everyone is In relation to each other Even though they're covering A lot of land It fucking rules And then this movie does a thing I really like Which is That ends They're reunited with Thompson Thompson Sure They find the The wallet

[01:33:29] So they have that scroll now You know all that shit And then they go like Wait a second I know where they're going We know how to get there Right We can get there There's a plane we can get there before them

[01:33:40] And then the movie just cuts to everyone Being there at the Denim Agreed with that Here's what I don't like that the movie does What Follows its best set piece With the easily it's worst set piece Agreed And the Denim on set piece sucks Unfortunately

[01:33:52] And I do think that it was kind of like It was either that they thought Warring cranes was going to be a good idea Or they were just kind of out of ideas And they were like What happens in a shipyard I don't know Cranes

[01:34:05] And it's like a you know It's a heightening of the sword fight It's not it makes It's no good It's no good It's confusing It's loud It's a mess I watched it I wasn't paying enough attention the first time The second time I paid closer attention

[01:34:17] I still didn't make a lot of sense This is I mean What I think the movie should have done I forgot to say that The way the chase sequence ends As Tintin is holding on to the three scrolls Holding them up to the light They're all aligned

[01:34:29] He can see the message that the three combine to Which are the longitude and latitude Of the sunken treasure But the hawk is holding onto it The eagle, whatever fucking bird it is Uh-huh And Saccharans like I'll throw a fucking hat I can

[01:34:43] I think we need to get to the Denny Maw This is the end But the point is Tintin has to choose his friends over that Of course, and he picks his friends He lets them go But then the movie just goes

[01:34:51] Like we don't need to see how he gets there Let's just let him get there He gets there He track them back to London Or Belgium But he clearly stole that plane Like the thing is like They don't talk about that Like they don't say

[01:35:01] Oh there's our answer Right there that plane That somebody clearly that it's not us own Well Tintin's a thief in a murder The movie doesn't discuss that one Um I would say If I had any constructive criticism for them moving I would say Once they cut to

[01:35:15] Them landing at the docks And the final showdown was saccharan Rather than being in a fight I would skip to The sort of emotional payoff Which is how the book works The whole point of the book is it's like Hey man, you know

[01:35:28] We actually had to just end up where we started Which is like the treasure was here all along It was in the Marlin Spike In the old Haddock house And it's in the basement Like that's where it always has been They get into this fucking construction crane fight

[01:35:40] And then once the fight's over Then they're both just standing level on a boat Talking Before they settle it And you know Haddock Like uses the bottle To hit Yeah Saccharan so it's like for once he's prioritizing Fine, that's fine I would just skip straight to that Yeah

[01:35:58] And then Saccharan goes but still I have the scrolls Tintin grabs it from Things great Haddock goes My ship at the boom Done fun And then Yeah, they got the coordinates They go They follow them Oh what's this It's the house It's the mansion Saccharan's mansion

[01:36:15] Which he snuck into Earlier in the movie Because he was looking for his stolen Hierarchic But it's really a Haddock house Mmm And that butler Nester Oh he was really On a team Haddock The whole time Okay, sure Yes Mmm, ooh, Nester Something they set up 45 seconds earlier

[01:36:35] When he says You don't really pay me at all Yeah Alright anyway They go down They You know I already explained it They get the treasure They get the treasure I like the idea that Haddock You know Knows What button to push on the globe Because he's a

[01:36:50] A good Naval man who gets That that's not an island That must be a button Yeah And I like that I also like that now They have like a fucking Batman Set up where it's like Here's their butler Here's their mansion Right, that's how

[01:37:02] They can now afford anything Right, that's how Tintin then works from then on Right Tintin lives in Marlin's With Haddock And Calculus when Calculus shows up And yeah it's like They have a lot of pillow fights Yeah, right What do they do? I don't know They have money

[01:37:16] Don't worry about it You know like it's fine Oh sorry Let's continue living in our Asexual Universe and Chasing Adventure Right, no one in Tintin Is ever sexual except Calculus has a crush On Kesaferi That's the only like Romance that ever plays out In Tintin

[01:37:29] And the Wikipedia page makes a Point of note that he's the only Sexual character in the New York Disney World That's pretty funny Of either gender I guess with Kesaferi She always has like suitors But they're not really like You know, romantic and true No, no

[01:37:41] They make but In the movie they actually She insinuates that she And uh And Sacher and our Boning Yeah there's also that scene Where she fucks Snowy Which is weird No, I mean she does say Like we have a He's a very passionate Yeah, that's right

[01:37:58] Creature of the arts And it's just like Just like I wear a wig like How do they have How do they have the time for that Like what I mean, I don't know It doesn't matter Um They had the time They had some off-screen Yeah, Craig and

[01:38:11] Whoever plays Maybe he's only a minute man Him stangled Yeah Yeah, he might be a one minute Man Yeah, one minute man So that's the adventures of Tintin The greatest film ever made Yeah, it's a good movie Uh, there's She's gripping right now

[01:38:26] He's got the mic in his lap And he's just crouched over Like a dumb baby Number one on my Sight and Sound list I think Tintin's great Yeah Do you, I mean I guess I'm trying You're trying to win me over Right, at a certain point

[01:38:41] If you watch a movie enough times Yeah You almost, it's almost like Do I even think this is A great movie Capital G Capital M Or is it just one of my Favorite movies Yeah And I don't know where You fall in this regard

[01:38:53] Like if you made a top 10 Of 2011 Number one, or would it be No, it wouldn't No, honestly if we're being honest here It was in my 10 It was number one I think 2011 Master Was my number one Uh, I'm trying I'm just looking at some of the movies

[01:39:04] Uh, you've got the Master I think the Master is my number one I think Moneyball was number two Uh, no wait No, the Master's 2012 Oh really? Yeah So 2011 I don't know what my number one was It wasn't Tintin I'll be honest with you You got Margaret

[01:39:19] Oh, Margot was my number one That's my number one of the decade Tria Life Is a movie from that year Hello Tintin for me Margot was above Uh, Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy So Margaret would have been my number one You go Moneyball would have been my number two

[01:39:30] I don't like you Drive Man, I'm cold, yeah Those films probably would have been In my 10 below Tintin Martha Marcy, wait, Marlene Is a film I like a lot Good movie Was probably number four or five Shame Since it was me my three or four Sure, that's good

[01:39:44] Good movie So you like it a lot Yeah Do you want to hear about the box office game Uh, yeah Good I guess we won't do it for War Horse Oh, yeah, this is going to have to cover it for both Yeah, this will be it

[01:39:56] Cause War Horse opens at number seven Okay With $14.5 million And eventually we will Good horse movie Good on a horse movie Good money for a horse It eventually grosses 79 million Tintin opens number five $15 million Makes 77 million Okay Uh, so yeah It's almost like they released two movies

[01:40:16] And they made half the money One movie could make Yeah, it feels like one of them Would have made one fifth So Tintin is number five At the box office And this is Christmas 2011 Number one Jumps Uh, after some limited release It expands

[01:40:31] And it jumps to number one Okay In a second week of release So this has to be your favorite of the franchise Correct Mission possible Ghost Prot Ghost protocol Uh, which had a limited release Only in IMAX theaters Correct Opened well But then finally went wide

[01:40:47] And opened bigly They opened bigly It's made 76 million dollars At this point On route to 220 On the route to 209 million Oh, lower that 700 worldwide My number two or three of that year For sure One of my favorite movies Lower than Tintin Ever made, no

[01:41:06] Uh, number two is a sequel Hmm To another Christmas movie Hmm The end of a franchise That has not been continued Little fuckers No Really? I was so confident on that swing Very confident That was 2010 Okay I think you might be right Yes 2011

[01:41:25] Christmas franchise has not been continued No It's the second in a two film series And did people feel like it was maybe going to keep going? Hmm, I don't think so The passion wasn't there The movie makes 186 domestic 545 worldwide There's no reason not to make another one

[01:41:42] Live action or animated Live action Is it family movie? Hmm Not really It's like an action movie kind of Oh, oh, oh, oh I was thinking too literally when you said Christmas movie You mean it was a Christmas franchise Yes, it's Sherlock Holmes Game of Shadows Correct Okay

[01:41:58] Number three is a movie Weird that they haven't made a third one to that I think Downey Jr. is busy and doesn't want to do it Uh, the third one is a movie You talked about way too much on this podcast I don't think you've seen it

[01:42:10] I haven't No It is called He knows what it is Hmm, yeah Alvan Yeah He's the sheep monk Uh-huh Sheep ray Great It's made 56 million in two weeks It will make 133 domestic You are right, I have not seen it Is that the one that's not Walt Becker?

[01:42:34] Yeah, that's the one directed by Mike Mitchell Who did Sky High Correct Made one great movie and then now makes trolls Did you see any of the other movies or no? I've seen one in four Well, you haven't seen two, the squeak wall

[01:42:46] No, I haven't seen the squeak wall So the first one, it fucking sucks That one's by Tim Hill Did not see the second one She was directed by Betty Thomas Okay Skipped the third one which was directed by Mike Mitchell And that's the one where it was like

[01:42:57] David Cross is in it But he's in a full suit the whole Like a full costume the whole time But they still made him like be in the movie And like be on like a fucking boat For three months or whatever Yes, that is Chipperecton

[01:43:08] Which he's in a costume And then once they finally get Chipperecton The movie becomes I shit you not A Lord of the Flies remake Oh Then the costume comes off and it's revealed That that guy who's been in the costume For the first two thirds of the movie

[01:43:20] Is David Cross Right James Slade is in it He was like I can't just show up at the island part Like you can't just have a guy anywhere Yeah, but you know what neutralized that argument? What? When he went on all the talk shows

[01:43:30] And complained about that producer Who wouldn't let him out by calling her A dirty Jew Oh yeah Well he's the dirty Jew himself David Cross He is, so not a great bit True David Cross has done some bad bits in recent times Bad bit?

[01:43:44] Yeah, it was a very weird I remember that was like That was the I don't even remember that part of it But I remember he was very vocal About not liking that movie And not liking having better than that movie Every single press appearance he did

[01:43:55] For that movie He complained about the movie and the producer And he named her His fourth, of number four At the box office He's got a lot of work since then hasn't he Yeah, yeah, time Oh Crossy, Crossy Pants Number four at the box office

[01:44:06] Is a film that people thought Was gonna do huge Oh, interesting Huge money It opens to 27 mil on Christmas Okay That they released this movie on Christmas Is absolutely fucking bonkers The girl with the dragon head? Correct David Fincher film An incredibly excellent movie in my opinion

[01:44:24] I think a solid movie for me But I haven't seen it since its release It stands up Another Daniel Craig joint Yeah This big ear for him Looks good, yeah Yeah, kinda forgotten though I would say Made 100 mil But forgotten So it's the box office game

[01:44:40] Yeah, we got We Bought a Zoo Oh Fun memories New Year's Eve The darkest hour Oh What was that again? I think that was Some disaster Kids in Russia and aliens attack or something Cool, the descendants With the clones Yeah Movie people still talk about a lot

[01:45:02] Won an Oscar for best writing Yes, and we all quote the lines from that screenplay That we love Remember when his wife dies They teach it in film schools This is largely the most forgettable box office So far It's like one or two memorable ones

[01:45:16] And it's mostly disposable It's a weird time where, yeah It's before studios are just like You know what? We just fucking make superhero movies We're not making any money You don't know what to do anymore Was the Muppets that year? The Muppets is number 11 Hugo is number 12

[01:45:31] You don't like Hugo by the way That's pretty rude Ah, you should watch Hugo again A young adult Underrated Which is an underrated little picture Certainly the best right man movie Uh, hmm I like Juno Certainly the best right man movie Arthur Christmas Oh, Arthur Christmas The sitter

[01:45:51] That's a weird one That's a weird one Don too, what the hell is that? It must be Yeah, I think it's a Bollywood movie A Bollywood movie, it is Yes Insummation I think Tintin's fun He's a cool guy I like his sweaters I'm probably gonna be Tintin

[01:46:03] For Halloween next year Sure, be Tintin I love Tintin I think this is good But I'll say this Like watching this movie You know, last week we talked about Crystal Skull Both last week in terms of release And last week in terms of when we recorded Yup

[01:46:17] And, uh, you know I thought I was gonna be the one defending the movie And I end up that You and Richard, especially Richard, David Erlich Both defend that movie even more than I do Which movie? Uh, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Oh, Crystal Skull Of course, yeah

[01:46:33] The movie that I think is interesting Right, I think it's Pretty interesting Yeah, I think it's good And I think you look at the Spielberg Dreamworks years And a lot of times he gets into trouble When he tries to make a quote unquote Classic Spielberg picture Yup

[01:46:47] Cause he's sort of evolved and grown In this stage of his career Where he's into Rather than using these primary colors Good versus evil Black versus white Kind of Battles He's grayer as these murky Morality movies Human morality Human Um, and I think Tintin's an outlier

[01:47:02] Because the new toolbox He is given through this technology Allows him to not just be replicating His old tricks But try all new tricks It is a tricks movie It's a fun house movie It's a fucking roller coaster movie

[01:47:15] But I think it's like some of the best action Filmmaking of the last ten years And I also, I just, I like Tintin I like these characters I like the movies so Simple, straightforward, sincere And exciting Go to your local library And check out some of the books

[01:47:27] Tintin Yeah Crab with the Golden Claws That's a good one to start with If you want to do that Yeah The first hat of convention I like the moon ones There are some fun fucking Moon ones are great Tintin Space Adventures Stay away from Belgium

[01:47:41] Or rather Tintin and the Congo Not the good one to go to Yeah, that one I believe is Harder to find for very good reasons Yeah But yeah, no one's We're in the 30s Once you get to Cigars of the Pharaoh Which means the first like

[01:47:52] Proper Tintin adventure That's, that's a You know basically anything is good And it is interesting to read them Love with Cigars of the Pharaoh movie That was probably my favorite one It's interesting to read Tintin chronologically To watch Herzegh's outlook develop To watch Tintin change

[01:48:07] I think the last few Tintin books Are just absolutely incredible I think he researched his time went on Like first ones he didn't research And then his time went on He researched very diligently Very more thorough Yeah, and he'd mess with his own formula Very formally adventurous

[01:48:22] Like the Cassifuri Emerald Which is the one where like Nothing happens You know it's just It's all set at Marlin's bike And there's no plot or villain And like Tintin Tibet obviously Which is sort of his like His opus Yeah Which is a very humane

[01:48:36] And very like sad work Yeah, I mean Brilliant Look I like the Tintin ove Yeah More than I like this Tintin movie I think the books are still The best Tintin thing They're incredible Far and away Right By several miles Is this the perfect Tintin adaptation? No

[01:48:52] I think it's a really good Like mash up between Spielberg style And Tintin And what that property is I think it gave him an opportunity To flex those Indiana Jones muscles That perhaps had been a little quelled By George Lucas' creative interference Sure And the new opportunities

[01:49:11] Of the technology But definitely read the fucking books And also, hey Steve Make a new Tintin movie Or Peter Jackson Are you cool with Peter Jackson Making one? Totally fine with that I think he's another filmmaker Who would probably be He would be better if he worked

[01:49:26] In pure CGI right now What I really like about this movie Yeah, maybe Did you guys watch the bonus features at all? No, no, I liked it What I liked about it is that You're watching it and Spielberg Who I'd figure would be jaded

[01:49:39] At this point in his career Comes off just completely He loves Tintin He loves what he's doing He's so enthusiastic about this And meanwhile Peter Jackson Seems to almost kind of blasé Like he's the guy that's like You're used to seeing like Freak out about things True

[01:49:53] And he's just like I think something happened to Peter Jackson Man, I think something wrecked him King Kong, I think Because he's had so much Hung on that Right, he really wanted to make that Well, I heard was Beauty killed the beast But I don't know if that

[01:50:06] Certainly was what killed him We have to stop talking about it I think King Kong killed his spirit Yeah, or you know what Hey, fucking Joe Cornish Edgar Wright, both great filmmakers Would make a great Tintin movie Edgar Wright making one of these Would be a goddamn delight

[01:50:22] That'd be great George work, Joe Cornish Have Joe Cornish make a fucking movie Yeah Attack the block's great Talk about 2011 Oh jeez, yeah That's an attack the block Yeah 2011, what the Oh my god, I'm going crazy So note to Hollywood Let Joe Cornish make a movie

[01:50:36] Yeah, let Joe Garten make a movie If he wants Let Joe Garten make a movie You're okay I'll tweet it, yeah, I'm fine I'll tweet it if I want to If I really want to make a movie I'll just tweet incessantly Change your Twitter user name

[01:50:46] To Future Tintin Director How was it to be on Blank Shack Joe? It was great Can I ask just like before we wrap up absolutely Sure I just want to ask a couple questions Just from the fans perspective Sure David Yeah You are, you've made reference to your

[01:51:02] Time in Great Britain Yeah, growing Britain So you are an American But are you a British citizen Or an American citizen Both baby Really Is your mother British father Father British mother American Okay, and then you got both passports Just renewed him too

[01:51:17] So how the hell do you not have an accent? Had an accent these are questions That are often asked to me when people meet me Had an accent, a little bit of an accent When I lived in Britain I had sort of a I call it

[01:51:27] I always say that I sounded like Madonna You know, I sort of sounded like An American kind of maybe putting on A bit of a British accent The Mark Bronson Yeah But the old joke was Everyone in Britain thought I was American

[01:51:38] Everyone in America thought I was British But when I moved back here I lived in America The first nine years of my life It just, within a couple months It was gone Like I just sort of reverted If I go there It comes back, you know

[01:51:51] It's my environment I react to it Good to know And it's not just my accent But if I go to Britain All these idioms These sort of ways of speaking Just the whole rhythm of the language Is different there In ways that I'm not picking up on

[01:52:04] But like if my girlfriend comes to me She's like, you're talking different Like, you know, it's weird I say if I go to I didn't live in Springfield, Illinois But it's like And it's Springfield, Illinois It's not the south But I spent a lot of time there

[01:52:17] Yeah, yeah And I find that when I go back there Or to the south I start saying y'all Without even being aware It's these things It's exactly that kind of stuff In England you drop articles You say I'm going to hospital Or whatever, you know, it's like

[01:52:30] There's all kinds of shit like that I mean obviously you know The obvious things But like there's all these Less obvious things That are also just baked into the language It's very funny Funny how we all talk So you'd be a cinema critic In Great Britain No, they

[01:52:42] I guess they I don't know what they call them They call them Tintins in England Yeah, they call And then a question for the haas Really fast Oh wow Hey, what's up? Have you seen the mighty mighty boss towns? Live? Yeah No Okay

[01:52:55] I've seen a bunch of scoffs That's a good question So that's a great question I just, I don't know why I just seem like for some reason What is the best scoban you saw? Cache 22 Oh Is that like Is that third wave

[01:53:06] Or is that like post third wave? I think that's third wave Okay Because they were pretty popular Like late 90s into early aughts Merchandise spotlight here Joe Garten has graciously made a series of Ben Hosley pins Do you know how many there are in total?

[01:53:24] I think there were 19 I missed some nicknames I double up on one I will post a picture But he has made a pin All have the same image of Ben Hosley Smiling face wearing a Yankees cap But each one has a different

[01:53:37] Do you have a bag yourself, Ben? Yeah, look at that Oh man We all got it I'm hearing the jostling Each one has a different nickname on them They're all in green except of course For the one in red which has the Ghostbusters no ghost logo

[01:53:50] Over Ben Hosley's face and says Professor Chris These are quite incredible And it was one of those things where you handed it Joe handed them to me and I was like Oh cool Like thinking that they were all just Pins with Ben's face on them Nope

[01:54:02] Didn't get the customization The second layer of customization That had happened I mean you have the haas You have Mr. Positive And you have Mr. Hosley These are thorough I did not want to No stone unturned I did miss our finest film critic though Oh wow

[01:54:16] Apologize for that Maybe you should just go back and do them again Let's go back and do them again Less of a nickname and more of I guess an official job title So that's fine But yes I mean we're recording this episode in January

[01:54:27] So by the time this episode comes out in May I assume these will be available to purchase At all Spencer's gifts Mass production I'm gonna go My girlfriend and I are gonna be Mass producing these Just turn them out Oh by the way My girlfriend Hannah

[01:54:40] She sends a special message She wants me to stop bullying you guys On Twitter Aw Yeah I'm cool with you bullying us Talk better than John Braylock Who's the chief bully of me On the internet You've earned the right Joe You were a great guest

[01:54:52] Thank you so much for being here Oh thanks Nice to talk with another fellow tinhead And thanks for the buttons They're amazing Oh they're so great Joe Thank you so much Oh I was happy to make them It made me very happy

[01:55:03] As soon as I saw the layout Yeah man There's something about Ben's face It's one of the all time gray faces I don't want like a Andy Warhol Like Prince of his face God It's something about the just With the mouth open The kind of like Yeah

[01:55:18] So go to your local journeys Your local Spencer's gifts Your hot topic Ben buttons are available in a 20 pack At all fine retailers Joe just make sure you produce enough I will make sure Like I said Turning them out Thank you for being here

[01:55:32] Please remember to rate review Subscribe All that good business Blankies Reddit Subred Reddit Subreddit And And as always Denzel Washington Make a good professor calculus Yeah be good Give you good Be good He's so good He's a good actor Do you feel like you have a good

[01:55:55] Haddock impression? Not really I don't want to set you up Please don't make me What do you want to do? It's more about I'm going to say the line But then there's a Haddock response Which is good But maybe I'll try to do both What is the line?

[01:56:09] I can't because this is not a I mean this is not Red Rackham Red Rackham It's unquenchable Tintin That's the last line in the movie Yeah That's what I'm saying It would feel weird if I say The second and the last line And the last line is

[01:56:23] Yeah you do both of them I'm not a I'm not a limbered up here Okay ready? Yep Everyone's ready? We're ready There's a clue to another treasure How's your thirst for adventure? Fuck I fucked it up Were you going to do thirst for podcast? Yeah of course

[01:56:40] Okay let's try it again You're too into Tintin I'm too into Tintin I've been wanting to play Tintin my entire life Okay ready? Yeah you would have been Would have been Could be Okay And Tutu Tintin Tutu You're happy with that Tintin Tutu Alright go ahead

[01:57:03] This has been a UCB comedy production Check out our other shows on the UCB Comedy Podcast Network