The BFG

[00:00:01] Blank Check with Griffin and David Blank Check with Griffin and David Don't know what to say or to express All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check Why did you take me?

[00:00:22] Because I hear your lonely heart in all the secret whisperings of the podcast! Oh, so whimsical! Oh my god, what magic! What whimsy! Here we are Hello, Fennell, and welcome to Blank Check with Griffin and David Welcome to the Cave of Dreams I'm Griffin I'm David Sims

[00:00:44] We are hashtag the two friends Griffin Newman And this is a podcast about filmographies, directors who had massive success early on in their career and given a series of blank checks that they can use to make crazy passion projects Sometimes those checks clear, sometimes they bounce beeeeeee

[00:01:00] And this is a main series on the films of Steen Silberg Yep The dream works here And this is not DreamWorks, right? This is technically the first post DreamWorks movie It's Disney, right? This is Disney and Amblin and Reliance Uh, okay

[00:01:18] I'll back up in a second and explain the transition here But this is the final film in our miniseries, PODME IF YOU CAST It is to date at the time of this recording The most recent film Steen Silberg has directed and released And it is called The BFJ

[00:01:37] Yeah It's a movie BFJ Rold Dahl book Classic Rold Dahl novel BFJ I like the way she says BFJ You clearly do You came in here hot with your BFJ impression When we had to test the levels, my mic check was just me saying BFJ at different levels

[00:01:55] Don't you guys wish you could hear that BFJ This might also be the most expensive film Steen Silberg has ever made $175 million? Something like that Yeah It's also one of his least successful films It is It's also one of his worst films in my opinion Yep Yeah

[00:02:14] We've talked about this ever since we had the idea for this podcast Where it's like, it's too bad Spielberg kind of just ends with like I assume he's got more interesting stuff up his sleeve And we've been talking about this idea of doing this

[00:02:28] latter period Spielberg for a while Even before BFJ came out This was an idea that we were kicking around And I remember hoping that BFJ was going to be an interesting note to end on I was hoping that it might be

[00:02:46] Taking all that he's learned in this latter phase of his career Where he's become more obsessed with the moral gray areas Where he stopped dealing in absolutes And brought those qualities back to The magic and wonder of early Spielberg And he did not You're right

[00:03:03] This is down to the Melissa Matheson screenplay It feels like a movie he would have tried to make in the 80s And I believe Melissa Matheson is no longer even with us Just to really drive that point home Yep, and I think that's one of...

[00:03:17] She died pretty recently A couple years ago 2015 I think that's one of two reasons Maybe even earlier No, I think you're right I think that is one of two reasons this film got me We'll get to that in a second One because he wanted to honor her memory

[00:03:32] With the script that she'd written She's the writer of ET we should note We'll get to that in a second Okay What are we on right now? We have to introduce someone else Who's at the table with us today? Yeah Because we have intern Will

[00:03:47] I said intern Wow Can you just do whatever you're doing? Intern Will is kindly Monitoring the ones and zeros So sitting with us at the table today It's been a while It's been a while He's been at the table a few times

[00:04:01] Yeah, but we haven't called it out So I'm trying to make it I was gonna lie and pretend he hasn't been at the table recently Because remember we used to make a big deal out of it Yeah I mean do people long for those days

[00:04:11] We would sort of specifically define where Ben was I don't know, is nostalgia big these? That's true Not if you see the BFGs box of terms Let me tell ya Yeah He's a producer of this podcast Yep The producer of Ben Deucer The poet Lori at the Haas

[00:04:26] Mr. Haas at Mr. Positive He's got some names Hello Fennel, the Peeper The tiebreaker, birthday Ben A dirt bike Ben A circum-bike Ben A meat lover, the fart detective If you see him in the sheets Call him the fuck master If you see him in the streets

[00:04:41] Do not call him Professor Crespi Don't you dare Do not Cheer up Ben Oh I'm cheery I don't know, you came in I was like how you doing? He's like I'm great Like with the affectation of fuck you He's of course a close personal friend of Dan Lewis

[00:04:58] I am, absolutely We go way back Do you know Dan Brown? I don't Man, that's too bad I did just re-watch What's that thing where they're like finding the The Vinci code? There's a couple of them You re-watched the Vinci code?

[00:05:11] Yeah, why did you re-watch the The Vinci code? Not a memorable film No, I don't know why I think it was just I needed something to check out with And that was perfect Okay, yeah He has of course graduate discerntals Over the course of different movies

[00:05:23] Such as Ben the Jumlin, Ben Tate Say Benny Thing Ailee Bands With a dollar sign Prusa Ben Kenobi And Kylo Bann I did him out of order You've been doing him out of order That's fine, but The real question is What does he get?

[00:05:35] This is the final Spielberg episode What are we gonna do? You had one idea I can't remember what it was now The Ben Friendly Giant Was that it? Catch me if you ban Yeah, but we already... Bendy and a ban? No Wasn't that War haze Wait, that's it

[00:05:51] Someone suggested that I gotta look up the reddit I was gonna say crystal haze But that's not as good as war haze War haze is not bad War haze is not bad at all At the end of the episode We'll go to the reddit

[00:06:03] Where people have been spitballing names And we'll pick one and give that person credit But let's say for the end of the episode So there's some pomp and circumstance Because I don't think it's gonna take long to get through This movie

[00:06:12] But I'm glad to be here with you guys in the room Oh, that's great I'm not gonna lie I'm sorta happy to be done with this miniseries Yeah This late period Spielberg was a little rough You're an idiot Bridgespice is a masterpiece I like Bridgespice

[00:06:26] But I'm saying overall Out of all the films Well, you're just mad about war haze I'm mad about a lot of them That's what you're mad about No, you're mad about war haze I am mad about war horse Because there's no horse diving True

[00:06:39] I think if we go over If you were to look at the list again You would realize that you'd like 90% of the movies At least Except for war horse He didn't like some of them though He didn't like some of the ones that we like It doesn't matter

[00:06:50] We're not here to litigate Ben's taste That's true That is for the Ben's choice Well, he's our finest film critic, of course We know that Steven Spielberg I'm realizing that I don't know Do you guys think that I am? Just wanna be clear Okay, cool I wasn't sure

[00:07:04] You thought it was like a sarcastic title? Yeah, facetion No, facetion That sounds like some sort of underwater creature A facetion Facetion Okay Esther Zakharovna texts me last night saying Ben is the funniest part of your podcast Which, it's not like that's news No, everyone knows that

[00:07:25] It's not like people haven't said that to me before But it is funny anytime Someone sort of comes to that realization And I say, Esther, shout out to you You texted me five months ago Yeah, I mean, you and I are like the

[00:07:38] The other cops in Beverly Hills cop Do you know what I'm saying? Who's Reinhold? I think I'm Reinhold and you're a What's a Gamble? I don't know, man I only know Reinhold I don't know what the fucking names are The BFG Getting you off of this

[00:07:53] Whatever it did The point is we occasionally hit Like a three-point shot But by and large we're there to make Ben look funnier It's true Hey, you know what? I'm the producer And I just make sure that those episodes come out Crystal Clean Yeah College Ben Crystal Skull

[00:08:10] College Ben We call them college Oh well we're gonna get to that later We'll get to that later Okay, so a couple things happen One DreamWorks is like crumbling Between their fingers, right? It's true They had this deal Reliance was financing them Disney was distributing their moves

[00:08:25] Right, who's Reliance again? They're an Indian company Yeah, I think you're right Yes, they are An Indian company, a division of the Reliance Anil, Dhirupahi, Bani Group An Indian conglomerate This is a big thing For $13 billion In our post-globalization world In which the film industry

[00:08:45] Is becoming much more international And box office grosses Relay far more on overseas grosses And you've been noticing it You go to see your Vin Diesel movie And there's like three studio logos In front of it That you're like, what's this? This looks not American

[00:08:59] It's a global world It's a global world And it's not like, oh this is a production company This is spyglass pictures It's like this is H Brothers Media International H Brothers, don't mess with them But it's all these foreign companies Who want to get into The American bloodbusters

[00:09:16] There's money to be made now Much more money to be made worldwide Than they used to be And also, studios want to put Their own money into these films Less and less So they'll go like Hey, hey, you're an Indian company

[00:09:30] You want to be playing with the big boys In Hollywood International profits or half whatever How do you like to invest in a Disney Spielberg movie? Sure And on paper that sounds like Oh that's the most Hollywood thing in the world

[00:09:40] Spielberg had never made a Disney film before He had bought the rights to BFG in the 80s Yeah, 1991 actually Okay, book came out in the 80s He bought the rights to 91 Sure His plan was He wanted to make it with Robin Williams Yup

[00:09:56] He thought it was a perfect Robin Williams vehicle You know, I mean, Steven Spielberg Love Robin Williams He did They were close friends He famously, when he was making He was making a journalist list He would call Robin Williams At the end of his work days a lot

[00:10:06] Just to, you know Talk to someone funny And like cheer himself up Because it was a bummer And that's what inspired Robin Williams To make Check Up the Liar The greatest film I've ever made And, you know, he made Hook with him

[00:10:19] But I feel like he's always like This would be good for Robin Right, like he's always trying to find Like more Robin vehicles Right, because older than Dr. No in AI Hook was the only Real Robin vehicle ever And we love Hook on this podcast

[00:10:35] Right, I mean that's like one of our faves When did you guys say this? Probably one of the best That is not a flat-packed That is a fairy tale Yeah, like I mean Boy, nostalgia Can I read something quickly? Can I read something quickly? You maybe Hawken Lensie

[00:10:56] My former roommate Oh sure Current neighbor Husband of Sophie Faye One of my best friends He texted me Okay, it's a long text I'm not going to let you read that all on air Hook is a good movie And I have seen it as an adult

[00:11:11] Yeah, he's wrong And I said stop at Hawken And Hawken responded to me No, you can't take this away from me It's a witty post-modern take On a classic story No, it's a dead body post-modern The role of the patriarchal Imperialist oppressor No, it doesn't

[00:11:23] Using the same manipulation And trying to take advantage Of the plotters he used on Wendy Who he was- has taken To his- No, no, no Don't read all of this on the air I can't, no I'm going to put some reddit Hook's shitty

[00:11:34] Yeah, you can make all kinds of Fucking academic arguments about it If you want It's just It's just I got no beef with Rufio Bangerang Bangerang That stuff's good I got no beef with Rufio To be clear I got beef with Rufio Do you?

[00:11:47] I think he's a dick Looky, looky, I got hooky Yeah, that's true Those last words Well, no, I think he He says some other things But Spielberg himself is like That one Yeah, because it's a whiff And he says he's like Wasn't I just talking about this

[00:11:58] Where he's like Yay! Like childhood And everyone's like No You didn't do it on the mic But you were talking about this yesterday Oh, it wasn't on mic Okay, okay, yeah Yeah It has been suggested to us by A past feature guest friend of the show Katie Rich

[00:12:12] Yeah That we do hook as our bonus episode Yeah, and I'm all for it And I'm against it Because I think There's a very good chance We'll go back and do the first half Of Spielberg I don't think that's true I think this whole Spielberg

[00:12:23] Great, but a huge slog And there's just no way We're gonna go back and do the rest of it I think we will someday No I think we have to go back No You want to do a color purple episode? Yeah, it'll be 12 minutes long

[00:12:36] If you thought we were almost out of episode Yeah, exactly You wanna go back there? You wanna go back to that pool? Yeah But He in interviews When he does like career retrospective interviews And they go through like all his movies He goes like Yeah, I just like

[00:12:48] I feel like the opening section's good And I feel like once they got to Neverland I couldn't think of anything other than like I don't know Paint the trees pink Like he himself admits He's just like Yeah, I just sort of like

[00:12:59] I look at it and it feels really forced That's one problem with Hook too Is that it's like Everything is too magical Yes You know What much better is Is that Ka-Muni Beck Bennett Hook Spoof That thing's good I don't know

[00:13:13] I do think the opening stretch of Hook is good I think the stuff before it goes to Neverland Solid Spielberg Like sugar rush It's not bad I think Hoffman's great I think Hoskins is great I think Hoskins is the best one When is he not? Was

[00:13:27] When was he not? When is he not in any of the films he was ever in? Never not Never not And I think there's There's fun to have with Hook Sure I think their exchanges are fascinating Like it is weird what's going on there And obviously

[00:13:46] Carrie Fisher wrote a lot of the dialogue in Hook And the dialogue is Weirdly adult Like you know Especially the Hoffman You know the Hooks me stuff There are elements of Hoff that are interesting God damn nightmare shit Which is just basically like

[00:14:01] When I was became a dad That was the greatest moment of my life But like Over and over and over again It's all about like being a dad And being nice to your kids This is what Peter Pan is about Don't be scared of your dad

[00:14:14] I also think it looks bad I think it's like a shitty looking movie Like I find the design really uninteresting And Spielberg himself cops to that Yeah I think a lot of the design is bad And I also don't know why the Lost Boys have like Rams

[00:14:27] Yeah I just think it's Why do they have Rams It's all garish and kind of like extreme And they have like colored mohawks There's only like a dozen Lost Boys And their children Yeah It's not like how do they build all those Rams Yeah

[00:14:38] Hey when you got a board And you just want to do some jumps You make Rams I'll say this You're right That is true That is true But I'll say this It is better than Pan I think Oh I even see Pan One day we might do Pan

[00:14:51] Well our listeners are going to love us Shitting on Hook again BFG Okay so In that sort of time Right before Hook That's true Right he's thinking like This would be a great Robin Williams project Right And The big hurdle was Okay How do I get

[00:15:10] The BFG and Sophie Acting in the same room He said there are technologies you can use You know You can use green screen You can use force perspective You can use all this sort of shit You know Yup While having a live action actor play the BFG

[00:15:23] But you're not going to be able to get them In the same frame Actually reacting to each other You're going to have to shoot the plate separately And he really wanted that It's not just that though Do you not know about this What

[00:15:33] They did a famous read through Of the like whatever The first pass Uh huh I think it was Let me see Actually I have Robin, Swyke, or Nicholas Kazan Of a screenplay Robin Williams was doing his Robin Williams thing And they were like You can't do that

[00:15:48] Because the BFG is like Really specific language Like He talks really deliberately As part of the joke And he uses all these weird words And Robin Williams is probably just going to Oh yeah Oh no no He's just doing it Oh my god Exactly And like

[00:16:04] So they were like This might actually be The worst project for Robin Williams Like this This might not be a good idea at all It's a terrible idea Which is funny because of course Robin Williams totally has it in him

[00:16:15] Like you see him in a movie like Insomnia Or whatever To give like an incredibly restrained performance So fit in that He is But I think when it's a kids movie Robin Williams wants to be big Right, he wants to do his thing Well I just like

[00:16:28] I remember seeing Robin Williams Do Ascat At the UCB Theater Yeah, you talked to me about that When he was like a surprise guest And he was never on a Lloyd team But he did do Ascat a couple times Never on a Lloyd team Ben's happy And

[00:16:43] Anytime a joke came to him He would interrupt the scene To like make it And not just like Oh here's a one line Here's like a funny thing I could say But he would be in a scene where it was like The you know Miriam Toland

[00:16:56] Is playing a travel agent He's there trying to book a vacation And in the middle of it He thinks of some funny fucking joke About Sarah Palin Sure And he just starts going on a Sarah Palin riff Which and then he transforms His scene partner into Sarah Palin

[00:17:09] Middle of the scene Shit like that I think there's sometimes in certain zones Where it's like It's improv Or it's a kid's movie He can't fucking lock it down Or rather He couldn't Lock it down In 2011 I'm just you know DreamWorks gets the right

[00:17:26] I'm just giving you some history here Right Melissa Matheson writes a script John Madden is hired to direct The great John Madden Oh the great Miss Sloan's own John Madden What else has he made I mean obviously Shakespeare and Love But like Captain Corrally's Mandolin Captain Corrally's Mandolin

[00:17:43] He made Madden 94 He did only Madden 94 And then the Great exotic Best exotic merry-go-old hotel franchise He made both of them He made both Good job Johnny Yeah Then Spielberg gets put on it In 2014 An upgrade from Madden One might argue I remember that was kind of exciting

[00:18:01] I went ooh Spielberg hasn't made a Pure Children's film in a while Kind of exciting Well that's the thing Like the BFG is such a famous work Of Children's Literature We've all read it Yes You know we all grew up with All that big friendly giant Right

[00:18:14] And it almost seems too obvious But hey He hasn't made an obvious move Like that in a while Like you're saying right That was exciting Was it like he hadn't done it in a while Here's a movie about a dude Who literally makes dreams Right Correct

[00:18:28] He's got a little dream He's a dream brewer Right And the other thing was That Rawl Doll is dark Right Definitely weird And can be very dark Although I would say The BFG is one of the less dark Roald Dolls I agree Like it's not like the witches

[00:18:43] Or like the twits Or like you know the really creepy Roald Dolls I agree But if But it's got some you know Yes And if Spielberg It's Spielberg Oh it's dealing with some Nasty giants It's got some nasty ass giants In this movie Big giants

[00:18:57] Yeah Ben must love this movie That's true This is a big movie It's a huge movie It's so good Alright Alright What do you want to say? If Spielberg was going to return To the children's well The idea of doing it with a Roald Doll film

[00:19:11] Was kind of exciting Because it was like Yeah Well there is Sort of fucking Moral morass They're sort of fucking Moral morass Roald Doll world Yeah But less so in the BFG The BFG is more of a Fairytale story Sure Disney was going to distribute Through Touchstone

[00:19:29] Then they come on board As a co-financier Yeah Not Touchstone Disney This is a Walt Disney production That was a big deal Spielberg had never done A capital D Disney movie before And that was their whole Song point was like It's Spielberg making Disney movies

[00:19:41] DreamWorks still serves as Copyright holder But they lose their Marquis status Sure Instead Amblin gets Put in front of the movie And this is the shift where Now Spielberg movies are Amblin movies And Spielberg Making Bridgespies Sister Mark Rinalands You know what You should be the BFG Yeah

[00:19:57] Like I love this I love you And we're going to do A motion capture performance With you as the BFG Right And they have a great time They go all over Britain They find a little girl Ruby Barnhill Is that her name? Adorable Great pair of glasses

[00:20:11] She's got some glasses They get Bill Hader And Jermaine Clement And some other folks To do some mocap stuff Sure They get that Penelope Wiltin in there To be the queen Rafe Spall Rafe Spall and Rebecca Hall To be two footmen Who are fucking Spallin Hall Bollin

[00:20:33] To the wall Yeah You know I think that's it Right, I sort of covered all this Comes out to a collective shrug Thank you all for listening Remember to rate, review, subscribe It comes out July 1st So it's for that Sort of July 4th weekend Period, right?

[00:20:47] Right, it used to be called Big Willie Weekend When Will Smith used to Dominate 4th of July And Disney was making play For it to be Big FGE weekend Right And it didn't fly Came out to a collective shrug Yeah, we'll talk about the box office later

[00:21:02] But not a hit No-no So two things I think motivated Spielberg To kick this one up In his playlist, right? Make this next And also take the reins back After John Madden From John Madden One is Melissa Matheson passed this away This was her last script

[00:21:19] This was her last script She wrote E.T. for him It's a great screenplay Yes She worked with him I guess, I don't know I mean she worked with him On Twilight Zone She was married to Harrison Ford For a while He and Harrison Ford are famously close

[00:21:32] I think they were just very, very Close as people I think she worked on a lot of scripts That didn't get made You know, but they remained in touch And I think She was always a Hollywood legend I think he wanted to honor her There Two is

[00:21:48] The post-Tintin Mocap kick Sure He's like, oh I had fun with this He had fun with it He sees Mark Rite-Lampton He's like putting dots He's imagining dots on his face He could have some dots and spandex It could be a dotty performance right here

[00:22:03] All kind of pieces together He goes, here's my friend's final script Here's the technology to make it Here's the guy, let's make it And I think those three things Are good motivating factors What wasn't a motivating factor is The material itself and the way it existed Okay look

[00:22:18] I've got some things to say Sure One, I do think we should maybe Have a five-year-old on this podcast For this episode Okay do you think a five-year-old would like this one? That'd be my question Right, that's the thing I don't want to know

[00:22:30] Because I see the movie I saw it in I saw it went to a screening I reviewed it for the Atlantic Like I saw it and I was like Am I just like Too old for this? Like this is not like the kind of movie

[00:22:40] Where I can view it as a grown up horror Like you know I'm like This is all childlike wonder Would a kid like this? Like is this just for kids? Can I argue my counterpoint to that? Well I have counterpoints But go ahead There's my counterpoint

[00:22:53] I'm a fucking child Yeah you are a child You're a disgusting child Yeah but do you know what I'm saying? Like obviously Yes I do If anyone was going to be able to like Buy into like fucking childlike wonder Who cares it's fun It would be me Indeed

[00:23:07] There are things in this movie I like But I find the Anytime the movie is playing The childlike wonder hand It feels like They're like slamming the card down on the table I agree And then driving a knife into the card And being like This is wonderful

[00:23:22] Okay but also Here's the other thing A five year old would say If I asked them what they thought of the BFG I fell asleep 45 minutes in And it's a two hour movie It's two hours long And here's the mission So I come out of there going like

[00:23:35] I mean we both know Spielberg can't make a short movie But I was just like What the fuck is he thinking With this being two hours long The BFG is not a long book It's not like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory That's like a proper chapter book

[00:23:48] That's long It's a short book It's like a novella and it has almost No plot It doesn't really have a plot Yeah You could compress the events of this film Into 15 minutes if you wanted to I will confess when I saw it in theaters

[00:24:00] I also fell asleep for like an 8 minute stretch I didn't fall asleep but I definitely did that kind of like You know where you said nodding And you're like maybe not totally focused anymore Like mmm I fell asleep for a section

[00:24:11] And when I woke up I was like I have no idea how much of this movie I missed Like I could have fallen asleep for one minute You didn't miss anything Or 25 minutes And then I rewatched it last night and I was like Less than 10

[00:24:21] Like 5 or 8 minutes I fell asleep And there's visual effects A lot That are fine But the movie thinks that it has That you have never seen such wonder before Because it has whole sequences that are just like Look at it making a dream

[00:24:36] Or look at the tree of dreams And it's just like You know like it cannot get over how awesome It thinks it is Well in the visualization of the dream stuff Feels to me like It's okay It feels like the hook Neverland design

[00:24:51] Where it's just like real A to B thinking Of just like what would a dream look like And then first pass idea And they're like great let's put that on screen And it's like maybe let's push ourselves a little further

[00:25:00] To like come up with something that's actually kind of unique It's just like oh bright colors And swirling spirits That's all it is Yep But what was I going to say I don't know So what I'm gonna say It's about dreams It's about friendship

[00:25:17] It's got a lot of fart jokes I'm right in the pocket of someone who should like this movie No no no okay I want to be clear I like the farting dogs The farting dogs is good The farts are good I'm into the farts Good bit

[00:25:27] You like the farts It's a good bit Yeah everything else I'm not that into Come on when the dogs fart And they like shoot all over their room Yeah I like the farting I'm just saying I like the farting And I like that Ray from Rebecca fucking

[00:25:39] I like that so much I like the farting in this movie All I'm trying to say is Farting in fucking A plus Usually any movie Agreed Usually any movie that has this much farting in it Where the farting is this well executed

[00:25:54] That would grandfather me into liking the movie Yeah you've made your point which is that You're an idiot child I feel like everyone's on board with that one Point made Yeah Let's go through the Here's the plot She's a little girl in orphanage

[00:26:10] The BFG takes her for some reason Why does he take her? And even Okay so even this opening section of the movie Right With her in the orphanage And the voice over And it's you know these pillars of light Coming in moon light coming in through the window

[00:26:23] And all of that And this like really ricketed Side winding like street I look at this and I'm like This feels like a Spielberg fan film It does a little bit This feels like some stranger things bullshit It does a little bit

[00:26:41] Where it's like look at this short film That captures the magic of Spielberg movies I think there's some cool elements such as Like I like his horn thing Like you know like But I'm even talking just about like the first Three minutes before the BFG exists

[00:26:54] Where it's just the little girl running around In the orphanage and everyone's sleeping Everything about it feels like a Spielberg homage It feels like him doing like What's that thing I used to do like 25 years ago It's him doing the hits right and yeah It does yeah

[00:27:06] You're like come on do surfs up Don't do surf in safari It's a deep beach boys reference I thought you were saying do surfs up The penguin surfing animated movie Oscar nominated I know I know Never forget That film came out in 9-11 right?

[00:27:23] Yeah he will not to fight us I love you Is it child love movie in that movie? Yeah that's the reason I'm making that joke It's so funny to look at like Shia's like crass his most commercial movies Like that

[00:27:35] Did he screen surfs up in his all my movies? He must have right? I wonder if he counted the animated film He's the lead in that Yeah He is He's Cody the penguin Haven't seen surf surfers Know the name of the lead penguin So Little girl She's lonely

[00:27:53] She's walking around the orphanage while everyone else is sleeping It's a layer established at the BFG Here's the cries of loneliness or something He hears the heart Lonely child And the story of the BFG kind of is that They're both lonely souls

[00:28:06] You know she's a lonely orphan who sleeps Weird hours or doesn't sleep she's an insomniac And he kidnapped a child like 150 years ago And then the kid died What a weird movie He kidnaps her He takes her to giant countries There's a lot of him running around Britain

[00:28:23] You're really trucking through this I want to stop for one second On what? Ben What do you think about the size of this guy? For crying out Everyone's you Let's just talk about the BFG first What? Just like How am I vibing with him? Well like

[00:28:37] I don't want to talk about the other giants yet I want to talk about like Here is a dude Walking down A fucking street And he's the size of the buildings And he's got this fucking musical instrument That looks like a lamp post Like what are you thinking?

[00:28:53] I'm thinking first of all dope I'm thinking They're listening to me finally Alright It's like I've said this from the start The culture is listening I've said this from the start I don't care about the little things right I'm talking about just big things

[00:29:08] But what's nice too is like You get how big he is because he's next to the building You know what I mean? It's like you see his instrument And then a normal lamp post I'm not into this Okay Here's the other question though You see the BFG

[00:29:23] Be big Big But then You go to giant country In giant country There are bigger giants He's small I want to take this one step at a time So how do you Now how do you feel you're conflicted Because you've already Formed an attachment to this guy

[00:29:38] Who you think is huge Right Another bigger guys But these bigger guys Straight up dick heads Totally It's actually like a Ren Stimpe episode Yes So Yeah I'm conflicted now Because usually for you bigger is better Right But this time bigger is meaner Yup It's a conundrum

[00:29:56] It really is And it shook me I'm not listening To my core David Donald Trump tweeted some weird things Mostly watching Twitter react to that What do you tweet You want me to find out Yeah so we're recording this in February Yeah It's coming out like Memorial Day

[00:30:11] I actually I literally don't know what this mean Okay let's try this Let's try this cypher Big increase in traffic Big Oh interesting Big increase in traffic Into our country from certain areas Alright so we know what he's talking about That area he's talking about Or giant country

[00:30:28] Oh man Okay so far No seriously guys Literally our president tweeted this Yeah we're being deadly serious It's about fucking giant Comma Big increase in traffic Into our country from certain areas Comma While our people are far more vulnerable Okay Comma As we wait for what should be

[00:30:45] Capital letters Easy D What's easy D I don't get it Defense baby I guess so Maybe he must mean defense But like what the It's just crazy guys When I hear D I think it did Cause people say like Yeah you got the D

[00:31:01] I want to get the D this week You want that sunny D Yeah That's what I call it So that's what I was talking about Reading about while you guys were Doing whatever it was you were doing About giants We're doing serious film criticism So

[00:31:12] These giants are bigger but they're main Right But then counterpoint Counterpoint There's a part Where the BFG Tries to give Sophie a bath And they both get pretty wet There's a lot of water True But this is not really a primarily Wet film Sure

[00:31:30] We're like we're tipping towing on Some territory I'm not necessarily into Here's my There's a bath scene that's okay I like water Tengentially related to this Cause you know the giants are big But what I like is that His tools are big I like that

[00:31:43] So like cause like when he takes her To his home like pretty much The first thing he does is chop up A cucumber A snaz cumber Or whatever right Yeah And like that's kind of the first Set piece in a weird way

[00:31:52] Is her like getting out of the way Is he chops this thing Yeah I think it's cool He's got a big chopper I think the snaz cumber looks amazing That's cool I think it's probably the best looking thing This is at the start

[00:32:02] I was like this is gonna be fun It's gonna be like what if you were small Yeah In a big person's house And all his stuff was big Right Just cause you skipped over it I like the section where he's Stealing her and there's He's hiding

[00:32:16] He's got a camouflage Yes that is cool That feels like Spielberg having fun Yeah And then having a lot All of him Hiding and then bounding Sort of across like the British Isles Yeah That's fun Okay we're cookin' here We're cookin' Then he's choppin' up the snaz cumber

[00:32:31] It looks fuckin' great Great visuals But immediately I find this issue starts Poking its head What's your issue? The compositing in this movie Is a nightmare Go on So I think the BFG Looks great Looks very cool Very cool Use of Mark Rinalands His expressive features Yeah

[00:32:52] But in a way that also Bonds it to a very famous design Like Quentin Blake's illustrations And like it just works It works great I think they've tried that needle well So in all We'll talk about Rinalands' performance Yeah, design standpoint I think that looks good

[00:33:08] I think his performance comes through I think he looks realistic I think it's a terrific performance You buy him as something The viscerality of his home All the objects When I was looking at that snaz cumber I was like man that drippin' snaz cumber That looks real

[00:33:20] Cause this is like Dahl's like grossest book He likes everything to be like Stripping with like snot or farting Yeah, it's everything's yucky Right I think Ruby Barnhill is very good In the movie I think she's cute And I think there are moments Where there's like

[00:33:35] You know they're doing Shot or verse shot between her and the BFG And when they go to her shot It's clearly her on a set Which is a giant desk Surrounded by giant scenery Made to look like the items of his house And those things look great But

[00:33:50] I think any time the two of them I'm not wrong I mean I'm not You're not wrong So by association You're not wrong either True And it's This thing we've talked about We talked about maybe on the Crystal Skull episode

[00:34:03] And I said I didn't remember who it was I think it's Ignity Vishnovsky He's the one who said That there's like this fucking ratio With Spielberg which is like He's really good at compositing CGI elements into the movie If it's like 75% real 25% Like the T-Rex

[00:34:16] But when you flip it And it's like 75% fake 25% real It's a challenge anyway Yeah and I just think He is known for being very Sort of improvisatory Like on his feet with blocking out the shots And all of that And in order to integrate elements well

[00:34:32] Live action elements into a CGI environment You have to really block out your things In advance and know your lighting And all of that And I think it goes against What he likes about motion capture Which is that like He can just pick up the camera

[00:34:42] And do whatever he wants Sure He's unencumbered He doesn't have to light Here's the other problem Yeah He brings her to his house There's some business with him Chopping up a cucumber Yeah Then there is no plot What's however At all Right For like

[00:34:57] A lot of the movie 20-20 minutes 25 minutes there's like Absolutely nothing The plot is just like This is my house And she's like Literally what is happening And he's like Oh I don't know I'm the BFG Gee whiz I feel as that Grunt snoppers Eating

[00:35:14] And you're having fun Listening to this To Rylan's just Have so much fun With this weird language He's killing But it's not like A fast paced movie No it becomes An episode of Cribs Where there is only one segment Like one of the things

[00:35:32] Like Cribs it was like Oh you're gonna get Four Cribs in an episode And this is just like One 30 minute episode Of Cribs Or he's like Right there this My whiz papa collection Is I He does drink some whiz papa I guess Like Joey Farts

[00:35:47] Yeah I mean fun But it's just like There's the whole thing with the ship Yeah she slips in the ship And he Gives her the bath Which I mean You know once again Congrats to seeing someone work on Doing a bath scene that doesn't feel creepy

[00:35:59] Yeah that's fine It's a giant Like that's just a tough thing to do Giant old man Giving a little girl a bath Doesn't feel creepy Right It's a good giant Describe it It does The other giant I saw him just gonna be past it

[00:36:11] The other giants stop by And so you get the antagonism I guess And then they just leave It's like okay cool no immediate danger And then he's like Try out some new clothes here Try out And she puts on the red jacket And he immediately is like

[00:36:25] Oh fuck And she's like what Never mind I'll tell you About 30 minutes from now to plot It's gonna be important Later this plots his points Is important 45 minutes more like Then you learn that he's a Dream Guy Dream weaver He's a dream weaver I mean it's like

[00:36:46] But he's also like He's like that Walter White Like it's like all the other giants Need his sweet sweet dreams Like to go to sleep right Right And so he And that's why they leave him alone Cause it's like he gives him the dreams

[00:36:57] He's got the hook up But then he also He takes the dreams from children Right Or he gives them to children He gives them to children As well So he's doing that as well Cause it's almost like He's almost like the The Tom Shoes or Warby

[00:37:09] Parkers of dreams Where it's like for every dream I give to a giant I'll give one to a child in need Perfect Like Casper matches He's like the Tom Shoes of Of dream Right or Warby Parkers of dreams And the dreams come

[00:37:24] Shipped in the box the size of a mini fridge That's all true And then eventually The giants figure out From not listening Figure out Because of the dream We're not gonna pay by Casper That she's there Cause they find her blanket or whatever Yeah

[00:37:40] And so then he like kicks her out Well cause there's that scene where they're like Bowling each other with cars and buses That thing is so stupid And it takes forever But this is the thing This is why I'd want to talk to a five year old

[00:37:52] And be like, did you like that shit? And maybe they'd be like That was great You crazy? That feels like some real Lost Boys shit to me Doesn't it feel like That's some bangering bullshit BANGERING But at least in the Lost Boys It's like It's partly

[00:38:03] The drama is partly that Peter Pan Is now an old like a middle aged guy Who's like You kids shouldn't be doing this You know these hijinks And he's gotta learn that Hijinks are okay again Well and it's like in all this shit It's like

[00:38:16] There's a mild sense of danger But it never really feels like Sophie's that close to being discovered Right So it's just like Oh it's just watching them do some And weirdly the big giants are just Not that threatening Like even though they are hostile Stupid and big Yeah

[00:38:33] They are big They're bullies though And I don't like You know what They're the bully friendly giants The bully fart head giant Yeah So I might like things big But I don't like bullies Hey good stance That's right Uh here's a question I've seen this film twice now

[00:38:49] Minus eight minutes the first time I saw it Fair enough Whatever Is there any moment watching this movie Where you know which giant is played by Bill Hader No Isn't that weird You know which one is Jermaine Clemens 100% But apart from that Like not really

[00:39:04] Jermaine Clemens the main one Was like Bone Cruncher or whatever Right Flesh Lump Eater And he talks a lot He's our you know Our primary antagonist And it's clearly Jermaine right Yes and then there are like Many other giants There are several

[00:39:20] One of them is played by Bill Hader I believe it's the blood bottler But you don't get that in I mean collectively all the other giants Have less than ten lines right I'd say they're Definitely Five or six other giants And together Only had like a few days

[00:39:35] Like But here's the thing I think he must have been there all the time Because those giants were on screen a lot I remember him talking a lot about making this movie And I think his impetus to making this movie Was very clear which was

[00:39:45] I want to be in a Spielberg movie Of course that's the impetus Everybody has for it to be in these movies But Hader specifically is like A huge movie nerd Loves filmmaking Right Get your dick out of his mouth My god It's so warm in there

[00:39:56] No I like Bill Hader a lot There's that thing it's like I was like okay So I guess this is like Jonah Hill Another way Get his dick out of your mouth Whatever it doesn't matter It tastes good It could go both ways It's true it could

[00:40:09] It's like Jonah Hill in Hell Caesar Or Django where it was clear Like he just wanted to work with those five Yeah why not Yeah exactly But the difference is that Like his face is on screen I can't tell you how hard He worked on this movie

[00:40:19] But you're claiming that he worked hard I remember hearing him talk all the time If so the effort was not Well earned I'm sorry Or like it wasn't worth it It just feels weird If you're Spielberg And you have Hader there To not be like

[00:40:31] How'd you get him one scene Where he really has something to do Right or Hader gets to do a Just cause the guy's fucking good Like giving like a joke But then again this movie is two hours long So it's not like I want more things Yeah

[00:40:44] It's a long movie It's a long fucking movie Like he talked about making He did a lot of press for it Like I remember going on the Late Night Circuit and being like BFG is in theaters this weekend And it's like I saw it

[00:40:54] I don't know where you Fucking are in the movie I know you're one of these Well also but Wait those late night shows Will book Bill Hader Or the job I had anyway Cause he's an easy guest He's an easy guest Yeah you know he's gonna have fun

[00:41:04] But like what's his Adam Godley is that his name Adam Godley who's a great British stage actor He's the man hugger Yes you would know Adam Godley Quite possibly if you saw him He's got a very distinctive face Very distinctive face He's been in some movies

[00:41:16] But he's a British stage actor First time He played Mike TV's dad In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory He's been in a lot of films He has been on Broadway a lot He's tall and skinny You definitely know He's got big ears Dumbo ears Sorry big ears yeah

[00:41:29] He's a good character actor The beginning of the movie When Sophie's in her orphanage Looking out the window There's a group of drunken louts And she yells at them Oh and I see and that's them Right that's that little joke Where it's like those are the giants

[00:41:44] Right it's like the Wistervaz thing Where it's like oh and then They become the whatever right But Bill Hader's not in that group And knowing who Adam Godley is I was like oh he must be one of the Giants right The big unfriendly giants in this movie

[00:41:58] Man hugger So then when we get introduced To the rest of the group There's one dude who looks like Adam Godley Right There's one CGI giant Who Mark Ryland style has big ears The same features I think he's gonna have to cut you off

[00:42:11] Because this is getting boring It just feels weird that they didn't do Fuckin anything with him I agree okay Okay so then they This and that And then she loses her blanket And they're like fuck Fuck fuck Well the BFG's like

[00:42:23] Oh well you mean the giants as well Fuck Wiggles Fuzz and stickers Who's the thing that doesn't make any God damn sense They want to eat a child so bad They like human beings Go to England and just Eat some children right Yeah they eat right

[00:42:34] And like what's one There's like nine of them One child between us she's tiny But haven't some of them been Because later they talk about Kids being kidnapped Right I guess they've been It's pretty fucked up But I mean that is Roll doll I guess Right

[00:42:47] This movie skirts by the issue Of how many children exactly Are being eaten Yes A day Right All you know is that the BFG Had a child that they ate Back in the day BFG So they're like She's alright You're a little too high on her

[00:43:02] I'm not doing that because I think she's the best I think that's funny Yeah I think her audition probably Was just her having to say BFG ten different ways Cause there's that one scene Where she's trying to get his attention And I keep on going like BFG

[00:43:14] And I was like she can't come up With another reading of this And then she just keeps on Coming with slight variations BFG I think she's cute She's cute It's interesting that This is the only Female protagonist In a Spielberg movie ever Is that true? Ever

[00:43:31] Oh my god That's actually huge Huge No wait what about Sugar Land Express Goldie Hawn Oh fair point Yeah his first movie Fair point So it's this Now I'm thinking It's his first one since And we're talking about movies Where it's at least

[00:43:44] You're at least one of the two Leads is a female Protagon Right like Oh well fuck Color purple color purple Color purple of course Uh And then Not a lot of Always doesn't really count Right Not always is a weird movie Yeah You know what

[00:44:00] Holly Hunter is the protagonist Of always kind of But you know Richard Dreyfus Is more of the protagonist Yeah He's just a ghost So it's kinda like It's like three I'm just running down the list Just to be sure I mean yeah basically I mean inarguably

[00:44:13] This is his first Female lead film since The 80s I think so Yeah I mean well As we noted on War Horse Emily Watson is top build Top build Yeah but Joey's the lead though I know Well yeah He's a war horse, ain't he? There's war shit

[00:44:30] Yeah it's there's war horse Actually this has a lot of The same shitty problems as War horse I don't think Spielberg should Be making movies about Britain Cause I think he thinks Britain Is like eternally stuck In like 1910 Everyone's a farmer War horse Like you know

[00:44:46] There's nuance to our country Come on Steven People have like Professional chimney cleaning They don't hire orphans Oh boy So the BFG is like Look they got your fucking blanket Or he's like Oh they got a fucking blanket They're gonna eat you I gotta bring you back home

[00:45:07] So he brings it back home And she's like this is not fair We are friends Friends don't do this And he's like remember Remember like 30 minutes ago When I told you I was Gonna tell you about that jacket Here's the deal with the jacket Last boy I took

[00:45:20] We were really good friends We were like hashtag the two friends The original two friends And the giant's hate them So that fucking sucks Haven't gotten over that Don't want that to happen to you And she's like I'm strong I can defend myself BFG And he's like

[00:45:37] Fuzz, Winkle, Shesh, now we'll get you back We should Honestly the only way this episode will be good Is if we did it all as him Because he is Just him talking is the only good thing Honestly I just wanna have Griffin do all the parts

[00:45:48] And just watch him BFG BFG His bumples took a hermit box His feelings We are forgetting the like 25 minutes of him being like Here's the tree where the dreams are And it's like you jump through the water Like and it's just like Endlessly slow It's so boring

[00:46:07] This movie goes from a half hour episode of Cribs To a half hour episode of Whatchamacallit How it's made Yeah definitely And it's like We bring you here to the dream factory Where is the dream tree You much catch a dream sprite

[00:46:20] It's not far off from a movie like Pan Where they're like Did you know that in Neverland There's you know fairy dust Is mined in the fairy minds We never cared about the fairy dust And if there's one lesson we've learned Time and time again

[00:46:37] From the last 20 years of big studio filmmaking It's that we love it When magic is explained in detail Now in the BFG I mean a lot of this is in the book Obviously that is inherent to the point of the BFG Is that he's a Ben Dream weaver

[00:46:53] Yeah Dream weaver I don't know It's a great joke in Wayne's world Yeah Uh right Yeah Great A great drop Great drop Great move Dream But I just don't care It's so boring And like I get so mad about it

[00:47:17] I get so mad about how long this movie is And like whether I would subject my child to it If I had one I don't think I'm good I mean it would be the last If I was trying to show them Every Raw Dall adaptation

[00:47:28] It'd be the last one I showed them Yeah Oh I don't know if I'd show my kid the witches That movie fucked me up when I was a kid It's good though It is good It's alarming I didn't see the James and the giant peach Oh that's great

[00:47:40] Oh that's great Because I loved love that book It's a great movie Stop motion you know it's cool Cool Looks cool Oh boy I would love to do a Henry Sell Like mini series Well it's just three movies right It's four movies Oh right that's true

[00:47:52] And that is the monkey moan is the real blank check there Yeah And also his I don't know if you followed it all But his post-core line fallout has been really fascinating Yeah it's weird It's a weird story Maybe we'll do Henry Sell Like something

[00:48:04] He's kind of a hostile dude Yup It all comes into play Interesting story Great filmmaker His own worst enemy Yeah he was He was kind of his own worst enemy on the night But we're for Christmas too right Like there was a lot of fighting over like

[00:48:16] Just what the script was essentially Historically Yeah But a great filmmaker He is I'd like him to make another movie I don't know if it'll ever happen Maybe we'll talk about something on this one Those things are expensive Yeah

[00:48:28] That'll be a nice little tight four episode mini series Don't worry Yeah sure Sometimes we need just maybe like a little tight We're about Brad Bird though Yeah Brad Bird though He's five Yeah So B F G B F G

[00:48:45] Look we're stalling to get to the good part There's one part of the BFG that's good And we're just like Okay so this is what I was going to say He leaves her she's upset right And then she's like fuck this

[00:48:56] And she jumps out a window and the BFG catches her And the swings The strings swell right John Williams The triumphant oh friendship saves the day But it doesn't fucking mean anything Because you only left 45 seconds ago It's true it's

[00:49:10] They treat it like it's Han Solo coming back And laying Falcon and like being like Luke I got ya You know Oh my god I didn't think the BFG would come back It's like he's fucking friendly I knew he'd come back What's he gonna do Go eat schnauz

[00:49:23] Mipples or whatever Yada yada yada Look Okay so now She finally goes to the sanctuary of the little boy that was eating This is the crucial part Yes And sees a portrait of Queen Victoria Puts it all together In a way Puts it all together

[00:49:37] It's so obvious how didn't she think of it sooner Why don't we just ask the queen for help Why don't we plant the queen with a dream Why don't we pull an inception Now it is funny that it is It's literally the pot of inception

[00:49:47] It's literally the pot of inception It's the exact same idea They even break it down with like a scientist Yeah He explains all the ways it works Yeah Remember that guy Never happened to him Dilla Brow Yeah Dilla Brow man He was in like three hot movies

[00:50:02] And then we never heard from him again He crushes that exposition though He had Not bad at the exposition His first two movies were Avatar and Inception He was on an episode of How did this get made recently It's really interesting

[00:50:15] Really? Oh actually I got a list of that It's really interesting But yeah It's bizarre how strongly he came out of the gate And then but then that's it Yeah And then he did drag me to hell too That was before

[00:50:29] Those were all within nine months of the show Yeah that's the same year as Avatar It worked with Samur and me, James Cameron That's some saying man And Chris Verknoll Okay so they go to the chemist They get the dream potion They infect the queen

[00:50:43] And then this chunk of the movie Literally they infect the queen They infect the queen This chunk of the movie is What It's charming It's charming This part's pretty good For one And I remember in the book too It is so when you're a kid

[00:50:58] So delightful that idea of like The queen had fucking fixed everything She's a nice old lady like your mom But she's also in charge of the country And also like why wouldn't this Just take an extreme left turn

[00:51:09] It's not like this has been plot based up until now Why it can be fucking whatever it wants to be So the queen just wakes up and she's like Alright, some of my staff I've got some news for you Giants are real

[00:51:19] They exist in the like far like countryside They are plotting to eat our children Well I don't know So I went to Toronto a couple weeks ago To visit friends right And the second we crossed the border My friend, passing future guest Sam Rogal Pass guest

[00:51:35] He's not allowed back on He's allowed back No, we already talked about this He's allowed back No, his opinion is bad We talked about it I'm gonna fight you No He said congratulations were officially in a country Where Donald Trump is in president Right

[00:51:49] And immediately my anxiety was cut by like 25% Like I felt like my shoulders go down The palpable fear I'm living with On a day to day basis And it was like It's weird how instantly That goes out the window The second we cut to the queen

[00:52:01] And suddenly we're in a real set With real actors Yeah, I get you The movie has that effect Oh good Oh it's a movie again And some pros are here Yeah We talked about them Rafe Becca Paul Paul Sothewa It's great And Penelope Walton Your brother Joey tweeted

[00:52:18] When this movie came out in July It's embarrassing that we're gonna have to go through Nine months of Oscar season bullshit When Penelope Walton's obviously just gonna win Best Supporting Actress for the VFG I'm paraphrasing his tweet But I thought that was so funny It's a good tweet

[00:52:31] And she is Really fucking good She's extremely good I mean she's a pro Right She's a pro But she wakes up and she goes We had this dream We had this dream that Giants were real And she does it great And there's a good Spielberg blocking here

[00:52:44] And Recca Hall's her assistant And Rafe Spall is the fucking Walkie Talkie man And then she tells the dream And she's kind of a nerve bite And she goes What do you mean closing the blinds But there's a really good Spielberg moment Where she like Finishes the dream

[00:52:59] And then she looks right towards the camera For a long time You're like what's wrong And then she goes What do you mean closing the blinds It's like oh she's now afraid That her dream is real When they go to close the blinds Who's there Sophie

[00:53:10] And she goes Queen Uh-huh She goes I'm here with the BFG She goes why are you here And she goes don't you remember Don't you And she goes I do remember It goes where's the BFG He goes he's right here And she starts calling for the BFG

[00:53:25] And they're like oh fuck This is some crazy girl Who happens to match Perfectly with the dream I just had Sure sure sure sure Except for the BFG that's not there And then she has to like Give him the courage to come out And he comes out

[00:53:34] And now he's the BFG And he's talking to the queen Yeah One note Amazon I watched this film on Amazon They're subtitling Every time they refer to the queen They call her mom No it's M-A-A-M That's just how it sounds Oh it is? Yeah

[00:53:49] Well that's what Amazon said In the subtitling I thought it was mom No Don't they call the queen mother No You call the queen You can call the queen You can call her her royal majesty Okay Or you can call her What the Americans would say is man

[00:54:03] Right But in Britain you say that like Mom I always thought it was M-U-M You are wrong Oh wow You can call any member of the royal family By two things If it's a lady Mom And if it's a man sir Okay You can only call the queen

[00:54:17] Or king Your majesty Everyone else is your highness Yeah Everyone needs to fucking remember that As long as you don't call them late for dinner What's the Dutch and the Duchess What do they do You would probably just call them like Sir and Mom

[00:54:29] Like you probably would like I mean You could call them like But your highness is always fine But stick with the Stick with them Sir and mom It's easy You know because if you're living in Britain And you do something nice Like say Run a charity Or

[00:54:44] Do community service Like do nice things Right You'll get invited to a garden party Maybe with a Duchess Or like the Duke of York Or something But maybe with the queen She hosts like many a year And then the queen comes and talks to you for 10 minutes

[00:54:56] Do you think we'll ever get invited to a garden party I think it's like 50-50 right now I mean we just Good dual citizenship right I do So she probably listens to this I wouldn't assume she listens to all of her Her subjects podcast Right

[00:55:08] But I've just heard From the people I know who've met the queen I'm always told like She is the boss of small talk Like she's just She's been doing it her whole life She comes in And you're just like You just feel completely at ease And she's like

[00:55:22] Asking you about your stuff Like asking you about your shit It's like chit chat And then she leaves And you just feel like I just talked to a pro Like that was the best She knows exactly what she's doing So it's the opposite of being mom Exactly

[00:55:34] Ben 15,000 comedy points That's a lot of comedy points That was such a good joke And Ben is now dancing in the studio He is dancing He's pumping his fist He's dancing like a happy little boy Um So they hold a little banquet Little lunchtime banquet Tea

[00:55:50] This shit's pretty good Where they're trying to figure out How to feed the BFG Yeah I like this stuff And once again Like the fucking ratios flipped And it's like 75% real shit Right Now you just have the BFG To worry about And it's good Like now it's good

[00:56:03] Her corgis are there Cause I feel like a lot of the earlier scenes It looks like Sophie is like a colorful No I know what you mean Like just taped on top of the image Also there's just a lot of corgis Running around Yeah and

[00:56:11] Suddenly the dog starts farting I mean everyone's having the Whiz bangers The fuzz popples Right the queen farts Queen farts And now Spielberg treats that Like JFK getting assassinated Or whatever Like an obscure angle Like they don't want to show it to you Full force

[00:56:24] There's something really fun Just about Imagining Spielberg directing the farts Being at ILM Or Weta Digital And being like I feel like the fart has to be bigger How do we God can we go 10% More plumage on this Cause there are like big Green farts

[00:56:43] Like they're very visual farts Sorry I'm tweeting at someone who tweeted me Saying he didn't like Lego movie Had to correct that right away That's a dumb opinion Yeah It's a dumb opinion That's a real dumb opinion Dumb ass opinion

[00:56:57] Hey you know what I'm not looking forward to What Warner Brothers running that Lego thing into the ground Boy are they gonna It's so annoying It's actually and you know But we both knew this The minute the Lego movie made the money it did Yes

[00:57:10] It's like uh oh Like they're not going to treat this With the sort of caution it deserves No the head of Warner Brothers Film production is Came from fucking six flags He didn't work in movies part of this And he's just a branding expert

[00:57:24] And he has said like We have silos We're like Disney we have silos There's the Harry Potter, JK Rowling It seems so fucking bad There's the DC silo And there's the Lego silo They were like those are our three big brands And uh

[00:57:39] Hey the JK Rowling and the DC ones aren't working I mean the JK Rowling one is I would say working In terms of like that movie made G somebody It made less than Suicide Squad It made a huge amount internationally And they also have amusement parks

[00:57:53] And fucking merchant all the shit I mean all those things are making money for them But when is the bloom gonna cough the rose? Like when are you gonna run through The goodwill and the franchise Well to me it's no To me it's more uh Trumpy

[00:58:03] Where it's like the bloom was never on the roses For like for example for uh For the DC movie Like literally they made Man of Steel And people were like No bloom on this rose And they were like we got more Like you know like

[00:58:15] They didn't take any of it to heart They're like great you liked it right And people were like not really They were like we're gonna do lots But that's because people like the The original characters Like they want to see good movies Based off those characters And uh

[00:58:28] Fantastic Beasts is running off The residual fumes of like It has to be made more than Suicide Squad It did? Yes It made so much internationally You know why? Why? Had Fantastic Beasts in it Yeah That little guy, remember the little guy I don't know The Nifflr

[00:58:43] Yeah the Nifflr was alright Yeah That movie drives me crazy A weird movie Yeah You know Ezra Miller is in the sequel Yeah And they had to like delay the flash because of it I mean also because they keep firing everyone in the flash

[00:58:56] Because no one wants to direct it But like when I heard that I was like They were like oh and you know Now the flash has to get delayed Cause Ezra Miller has to be in Fantastic Beasts 2 And I was like he has to be in it?

[00:59:06] You're sure about that? Like the people over there were like yeah We gotta have him in that Yeah I don't know what they're planning But he's not a hot character he was Remember? He's a big cloud of goo The Lego thing bums me out just because it's like

[00:59:18] That came from like such low expectations right It was like just Lord and Miller worked their magic And made in something great Of course the low expectations helped Right and then they were like Oh let's reverse engineer this as a brand And they look

[00:59:31] Haven't made a bad Lego movie yet But it's gonna fucking happen if they keep on making them It might well happen I was about to say at least they're two for two For like decent movies Maybe Ninja Ga will be great I mean the trailer looks fine

[00:59:42] There's a Ninjago trailer? Yeah Oh I haven't seen it At the time of our recording came out today Oh okay It looks fun but it's like This is on the record You're doing it on the record It looks fun but it's like Okay I get it

[00:59:54] Like I'm already starting to like Fucking note the ear marks of like Okay they've reverse engineered Like these are the types of jokes These are you know What have you Anyway So what happens is they eat breakfast They tell the queen to deploy her soldiers To giant country

[01:00:09] They fart like crazy There's a lot of farting The soldiers go to giant country They're like we're gonna make a trap They infect the giants with nightmares It's all a little Yeah you shouldn't think about it too much They have like dangerous and terrifying power

[01:00:21] There's this moment where the BFG Like why doesn't the BFG solve world peace Like why doesn't he blow a dream into the fucking Israeli presidency here To like get a broker piece in the Middle East You want him to like pull an arrival Yeah exactly yeah Yeah exactly

[01:00:34] Why doesn't he like cure us all Of our like citizenship You know where it's just we're just members of earth And he's like Just this one girl And they're like what about everybody You could save everybody And he's like just me, Sophie and a blanket

[01:00:48] Um there's this moment When they're sitting on the hill And they're like watching the sunrise And they're just having like a nice friend conversation Yes that is a nice moment It's a nice moment And I remember watching it in the theater Going like wait is this movie great

[01:01:05] Yeah but I remember Coming out of it being like I mean Spielberg though Like yeah that's sort of like what you kind of give that movie Right well and that's watching that moment I was like this feels like a moment that is like

[01:01:17] At the payoff of a great movie that's earned this right But it's actually kind of working for me And I think it's because Ryland says really fucking goodness So good Really fantastic And we talked about it on our Blank Check Words episode Which we recorded yesterday

[01:01:35] But now was months ago It's a phenomenal performance Right And look hard to sell that language Right And to make it sound naturalistic But I think the one thing this movie does do well Is like it does sell you on like this is a nice friendship

[01:01:55] Between two people These two people are nice friends Sure And so I think that one moment I'm just kind of like No this isn't a great movie But like I am invested in that one idea Of just like a big thing and a little thing Being friends Sure

[01:02:09] You know crossing the aisle Meeting in the middle Right Then the sun rises they catch all the giants Hooray hooray But the BFG has to stay there And they'll just he'll think She'll think of him when she's lonely And Rebecca Hall adopts I don't care

[01:02:28] I do I think that's kind of I think it's nice that Rebecca is all but I mean It's like it's almost going for that Monsters Inc mojo The real like we had this wonderful experience And now we can't be together Like that was my magical childhood

[01:02:43] But like you know it's like such a lingering But like I don't I'm like yeah whatever That's nothing they feel like nice friends But the thing with Monsters Inc is that felt like This is like a familial relationship

[01:02:53] This isn't like oh they like hanging out with each other Yeah This is like they're deeply tied to each other But Sully has like father instincts towards her You know Towards Boo Birds Anytime you say Sully Was a forced water landing Birds Birds Forced Birds

[01:03:15] I'm telling you I felt it I felt that Engine Go there was no thrust What a great movie Sully's American Masterpiece Now if only the BFG Was the movie Sully I'm sorry Boo And we were talking about it today BFG BFJ We got no energy for this one

[01:03:31] And you know what It's fine We saw it coming five months ago right Like we always do there'd be no energy for this one Yeah so great Everyone's nice friends The movie comes out No one sees it It gets middling reviews

[01:03:41] It's it's I mean I think it says Biggest flop certainly in terms of Look at the top email The new Lego Ninjago movie Slash new trailer Download links plus poster Is that a press email Yeah Great When did it get released July 4th weekend

[01:03:56] Oh so yeah I mean Some are released People thought it was going to be big The box office game People thought it was going to be big Why not Always been on Spielberg right Especially with something like this Return to form July 1st 2016 The BFG opens number four

[01:04:11] $22 million It grosses 55 total domestic 183 worldwide Which pretty much covers its budget It's a bum But including marketing I believe Disney has said they lost They took a $75 million right off on this one Sounds about right It doesn't matter because Disney had Literally the most insane year

[01:04:31] In the history of movie studios that year They had four of the 20 highest grossing Movies of all time Correct And so you know That's fine But nonetheless A disappointment Sure What is number one at the box office Okay July 4th weekend Put it this way

[01:04:46] It's a Disney movie It's a Disney movie and that movie is It's been number one for three weeks Finding Dory Okay Finding Dory The movie remembers and enjoyed And talks about all the time That made gazillions of dollars The eighth highest grossing movie in history Finding Dory

[01:05:02] Tell me one thing that happens in Finding Dory Well I remember it You can, that's a thing A fish gets lost This, this joke works for anyone else But you know I could actually recount The entire plot of Finding Dory in detail Any really? Yeah, you kidding me

[01:05:15] Could you do in the BFG's voice? Yeah So he opens with little Just blue fish It is It's right there with the parents Big eyes, puzzles it has And Alright we're back Number two It's a new film Legend of Tarzan Correct Oh my god

[01:05:35] I mean this is reason enough That Griffin might just know Yeah Legend of Tarzan A hit Yeah no one talks about that Talk about a movie people did not think Was gonna be a hit Perfectly good hit Yeah I made $380 million Once again cost too much To make

[01:05:48] Whatever But like that's that movie That's a movie where you might think Oh they're gonna lose a lot of money Like this was a mistake I thought so I remember tweeting Is it possible that literally Zero people go see the Legend of Tarzan Sure

[01:06:00] Like I remember just feeling no excitement for it And then it out grossed like Independence Day 2 It out grossed Also the Looking Glass Like these are bad movies But it out grossed sequels It did well To huge movies Good job Skarsgard Nice job Samuel L. Jackson Number three

[01:06:15] Also a new movie The third In a strange little franchise Horror franchise That has become popular In the summers recently Oh the purge election year Correct Deep America great The second best Third Oh you're saying oh the second best Yes I mean the first one's the worst

[01:06:35] The first one is terrible And the second one is pretty good And this one is kind of in the middle of those Yeah I think it's anarchy election Than the original Yeah Number four 36 mil it makes Opening weekend It ends up like 90 right So it ends up at

[01:06:48] 79-118 worldwide Which is Jesus Nobody wants to see that movie Except in America But okay And those movies cost like nothing Yeah You like the purge? I saw the second one Pretty good right Yeah I mean it's like The kind of horror movie I like

[01:07:03] Which is just like really contains Small like happens in house Survival yeah It's great Number four is the BFG And number five is a movie you already mentioned Just now when you're comparing Tarzan to it Oh uh uh Independence Day Independence Day Resurgence Okay 2016 had some

[01:07:22] Had some poops Yeah that was a big poop Yeah that was a big poop That's one of the worst movies I've ever seen I need to see it so Have you never seen it? No I would love it right No I mean what do you mean

[01:07:32] Will Smith isn't in it He's not in it And is uh our boy in it Jeff Goldblum Yeah Uh yeah I think Jeff Goldblum's a This is better In the movie That's actually good full circle That was okay That was good yeah Cause you know first episode

[01:07:49] Last episode Uh if I remember correctly Okay Now it's getting to Barack Obama Yep Yeah Uh the difference is You'll see That when Pirates of the Caribbean Breaks down It does not eat people No that's not that good Wait a second No my joke was

[01:08:06] That was Obama doing Jeff Goldblum quotes Oh I see I see That was my joke Central intelligence I am uh Abolving into a fly Gina Davis Please try to help Central intelligence Another big hit Another big hit Big hit The shallows which is a nice little movie

[01:08:24] Nice little movie Free state of Jones which uh Not a nice little movie A nice bad long movie A bad mid movie Yeah Conjuring two Swiss army men's in there Yeah Don't make any money on that one Uh so there you go

[01:08:39] Uh BFG you got zero Oscar nominations Doesn't even get the perfunctory John Williams Tip of the hat Um no which is a bit And it didn't get visual effects Which Not done You know it's fine but it's a bit rude A little bit rude Uh And that's

[01:08:57] The end of Steven Spielberg's run Now it leaves us in a weird space Because coming up What does Spielberg have in the Hopper Two movies One of which sounds like Exactly what he should be doing And one of which sounds like Exactly what he shouldn't be doing

[01:09:07] So the one you think He shouldn't be doing is ready player one Yeah And the one he should be doing is Pope baby drama Rylan Oscar Isaac What's going on here Right Right Uh Marles is dark and gray Your things is confusing The movie Right

[01:09:23] Life makes no sense Politics behind closed doors The movie And then the other one's an A book about a virtual reality world A book that people didn't really like No they were like good Concept bad execution Right Maybe it'll be good It's like Spielberg's tron But with like

[01:09:37] But also like a Roger Rabbit Where you mash up The culture elements of the movies That Spielberg produced Yeah Which I think is weird I don't know how he's gonna deal with it Apparently it's a lot of motion capture I like Tintin as you know

[01:09:50] I like the freedom it gives him in the camera I'm a little excited to see him exist In a fully motion capture realm But I'm a little worried about that movie Here's some Reddit suggestions For Ben's names Okay War haze I think that's the one we're going

[01:10:04] The BFH Big Friendly Haas I like Ben Friendly Ben Friendly Ben Yanda Jones And the Kingdom of the Crystal Haas It's a bit long Ben likes it though I mean Ben likes it The Krahassian What is that I'm gonna get it Oh let me see it K-R-A-H-O-S-S-I-N Fuck

[01:10:27] I looked at it and I understood what it meant And I'm trying to remember Let me see if there's It's just hard to turn Yeah Krahassian Oh oh oh oh I know what it is What is it? K-R-A-H-O-S-I-N It's making fun of Krah-Koh-Gil Oh Krah-Koh-Gil

[01:10:43] Okay that's no good Sorry The user Alex blah blah blah Catch me if you Ben Amis Taas Which is funny Yeah but do we want to do that Let's also not poke fun at that movie And that's something that Artificial Ben-Telegance Ben-Jer Spies Ben-Arty Report Private Ryben

[01:11:02] Which we talked about Jigolo Ben Ben-Diana Jones Ben Cruncher This just makes me want to see all these movies And finally Mutt Williams That's just Shia-Libba's name I think it would be hilarious if the two friends called Ben Mutt Williams every episode I mean that is funny

[01:11:22] Steve Ben Spielberg Is the final suggestion All those things are funny But I do think War-Hoz Is still by a nose I think that's the winner Yeah I like it too Let's give credit Who came up with War-Hoz? Oh shit sorry I'll find it

[01:11:38] I'll find it one second No worries But yeah Steven Spielberg Shrug I don't know what your future awaits Yes I agree Can I ask you guys a question? Anything So you framed this miniseries around Dreamworks Years of Spielberg And he's the first director right

[01:11:55] To ever get that much control over a studio When you do you It is rude that the BFG didn't Even have the Dreamworks logo It's literally about a dream worker He works in dreams Yes yes yes It's a bit rude Yeah carry on I guess my question is

[01:12:08] Do you think that A filmmaker ever Will ever get to that point again Do you think that's too much control Do you think it's the mistake of Like sort of Lucas comes to mind of like People not saying no to you Sort of thing and like you

[01:12:22] Then start making poor choices Because you have so much control Like what do you think? I think he's a weird example Because I think I think he's a guy Where he works big right And Spielberg knows how to use money And put it up on the screen

[01:12:39] And you even look at stuff Like Lincoln and Munich Which are two of his Least expensive movies ever made And there's a scope and a scale To those movies in terms of like Oh wow here's a street corner In a wide shot where they were able to

[01:12:53] Dress this entire world And put this many characters in And all of this and so it has a real Feeling of place and of time Rather than just like Fuck we got five million dollars To shoot a period piece Let's shoot around it you know Yeah

[01:13:05] And so I think He earns it in that way And it feels like he I think this is what this ends up being about Okay I think it ends up being about self-discipline Uh huh I think that's the case study In Steven Spielberg here

[01:13:21] Is that like a lot of people we've covered Once everyone gives them what they want Their instincts are back That they need other people to reign them in Sometime Not the Wachowskis Right I don't think Spielberg needs People to reign him in No

[01:13:35] Because he hasn't been reigned in For decades Like yeah it's pre-speed Pre-dreamworks he wasn't being reigned in Yeah Right and it never feels excessive And you're never like What the fuck was he thinking You're always like I know what he was thinking And it was dumb

[01:13:48] When it doesn't work You're like I see it As we've said He's good at acknowledging it too Yes Unlike someone like I'm not showing it But I think the problem comes From when he's making something Because it's clearly energizing him You know Sure to when he's making something

[01:14:02] Where he's like well I should be good at this right Yeah Like this is my kind of thing isn't it And I think the thing that unifies all of those This should be my kind of thing Movies Is that They're On paper the more commercially Spielberg movies

[01:14:17] And that's where the conflict Of him being the studio head Comes in Right Because he's not just trying to make movies But he's trying to keep an entire studio float And he's the biggest asset they have It's his films Well we're also going to In a future miniseries

[01:14:28] Talk about his Efforts as a studio head I would think Well let's talk about that And Partnering with other directors Let's talk about that in one second Okay I just want to say I've been living in a perpetual fear These days right Oh my god What's this

[01:14:41] No no no Both like in the outer world And the inner world Right I wake up every morning I check the news The world The world's terrible And so every day is dispiriting You just go like What the fuck am I going to do How do we

[01:14:53] How do we exist But there's this thing that That's That's a lot of people take action To speak out You know We're fighting harder than we have In a long time Because the threat's real Right No no no I'm not going to stretch this out For too long

[01:15:06] Please In my inner life Ben's looking onto an imaginary horizon Does he come up? In my inner life I'm terrified Because At the time of this recording He's going to go make the tech Right And this is the biggest thing I've ever done And I like You know

[01:15:22] In my heart of hearts Like trust Like I think I know how to do this But it also just is scary And I find that exciting Because I feel like You know We've been friends for a couple of years And for those couple of years

[01:15:32] There are a lot of times I was like I think I'm done with acting I just hate it Just try to be crazy There was one time in particular Which was after Kid Cudi beat you out For Entourage Where I was like I'm done Yeah

[01:15:42] And I would work on stuff And he'd be like How was it And I'd be like I'm fucking irritated with all this And it was like I'm doing the same thing they asked me to do Where I drop a cup of coffee Or I'm a nerd

[01:15:51] Or fucking this And it's not good And I just feel like I'm a Hollywood's intern Right? But it was also just like I felt like I was experiencing No growth whatsoever I wasn't being given the chance To do anything beyond what I could do

[01:16:01] I'm wrapping you up here And what's exciting to me now Is how scared I feel about this Uh huh Because it makes me think like There's no way I'm gonna give anything less than 100% Because I'm too scared Of failure Uh huh And I think Spielberg is someone

[01:16:15] Who is capable Of extreme artistic growth And evolution, right? Yes But he has to be diligent About not letting himself rest on his laurels And do something he could do before Now he can make lateral moves It doesn't always have to be bigger

[01:16:29] It doesn't always have to be deeper So you're saying that Spielberg For a while he was an intern Go ahead Some of these movies he's dropping coffee cups I- look I also- I think you're right But I actually think Spielberg is someone

[01:16:39] Who often backs into his own progress Like he doesn't like Like He doesn't quite realize Like what a leap forward he's made Until he's made a couple of these movies I would just ask him He takes on these ambitious projects And that's often when you're kinda like

[01:16:53] Like I mean- I don't mean ambitious like AI I mean ambitious like the BFG Yes Often that's when you're like Oh you're kinda just being proficient here That's- Like and it's more interesting when he's wrestling With a story that doesn't quite fit him

[01:17:03] The proficiency is what scares me Because even if it's a complicated movie On a technical level, you know Or like oh this is a weird narrative to wrestle down Because the book is so like Sort of like incidental, you know Um It doesn't feel like there's anything

[01:17:17] He would look at the material and be like I have no idea how to do this You know? And I think he needs to be self-discipline When he like looks at material Because he's feeling it Because he has this great power And when he chooses to make something

[01:17:28] It matters, you know He gets budgets that other people don't get He's recently decried the death of the adult drama He and Lucas came out And were like He and famous adult dramatic filmmaker George Lucas Right now like we can't even get Passion projects made

[01:17:42] And it's like no but you can You can so you have to use that responsibility Why is that And also like yeah Like don't phone it in Right If it maybe you need to scrape or like Sort of fudge a little more

[01:17:52] To get one of these things made Then do it And doesn't mean that you can't Don't just be like eh fuck it Doesn't mean you can't have fun Like I love Tintin obviously But Tintin was scary because it was him Working in a totally new moat Uh huh

[01:18:04] All I'm saying is I think artists gotta be scared I think in one way or another Artist gotta be scared It's a nice little manifesto Thank you Yeah Well that was our main series On Steven Spielberg We did it Probably if you cast here's my prediction

[01:18:17] Graphi on the record Yeah I think Steven Spielberg is gonna Make some more great films And some more passion Probably true I think it's gonna Honestly but I think he's gonna Learn his lessons from the bad ones How old do you think he is Uh 72 Checking 70

[01:18:31] He's got plenty of time He's got time That guy's gonna live Are you excited for Brad Pitt To make a sci-fi movie with James Gray They just announced that? It's he's circling this movie In which he played an autistic Space engineer I love that

[01:18:46] He's supposed to do Lost City of Z right? He executive produced it Yes I think he was He's supposed to start a movie Yeah no I think there was a time I like James Gray a lot I just like the idea of James Gray Getting movies made

[01:18:55] I just like the idea We've talked about a lot of you know Everyone does their sci-fi movie Right? Like James Gray is like Time for my sci-fi movie So let's announce our next mini series I don't know Look we're still figuring it out

[01:19:08] Because recording this so far in advance We might do something in between We're sure this is our next mini series Yeah cause there might be something in between How about this We'll say it but it might change And I'll insert something else Fair enough Right so we can

[01:19:20] We have months to change this if we can change it We're gonna do and then it'll be like me just like Bird So we've got that As a backup Just bird Producer Ben here with an official announcement Our next mini series will be on the films

[01:19:37] Of Christopher Nolan Starting in mid-June on the 19th Leading up to that we'll have a few one-off episodes Next week we have a Ben's choice on the film Clifford Starring Martin Short and Charles Groden So not the big red dog movie Then a mail bag episode

[01:19:55] Where we respond to listeners' emails Followed by a Wonder Woman episode I will also go on the record today And say that followed by Nolan We will be covering director Catherine Bigelow As our next mini series Thanks back to the show So that's our main series

[01:20:15] Please remember to rate, review, subscribe Thanks as always for listening Stay tuned for whatever we just explained Was gonna happen in whatever order we just explained Was it was going to happen in Yep guys you can always tweet at us At Blank Check Pod

[01:20:30] Or like the Facebook page Please guys Please for God's sake like the Facebook page I wish you would I think it would be a nice thing to do I think it would be okay Like Mark Ryland's you're out there Give us a like Yes

[01:20:44] There's all kinds of original content Most definitely And as always That's the good snuffer When his wings His hands Wiggles His bubbles Farts Farts I was listening to the best of The Phantom Menace Fan podcast episodes You know what, Joke we didn't hit hard enough

[01:21:13] We only did once That Phantom Menace was ripping off spaceballs Yeah I didn't like that joke I thought it was a funny bit You were the one who came up with that I thought we should have milked it I thought that was too obvious

[01:21:23] We did it once it was fine It was great I thought it was really funny I mean we could do it right now We're all idiots What's the name of the person who came up with Warhaw's Did you get that? Oh fuck right

[01:21:34] Got it, deleted it again here Wait, wait I've got it I've got it His name is Apathy Monger Okay And his, that's his Reddit name And his like Flare Yeah, what is that what it's called? It's called Flare What a dumb website David come on

[01:21:50] Number one fan of Jupiter's moon Europa Hey Oh good shot Good shot's fired I wanted to get that out there Good cut Apathy Monger I think maybe was the one who started the Reddit Is one of the major posters So shout out Apathy Monger

[01:22:03] Hey check out that Reddit Reddit slash r slash Blinky's Fun place where fun things happen Reddit's great nothing bad's ever happened on Reddit No one's ever had to ban a Reddit sub-community for any reason at all Absolutely not PizzaCape though This has been a UCB Comedy Production

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