The Holiday with Fran Hoepfner

[00:00:00] Blank Check with Griffin and David, Blank Check with Griffin and David, Don't know what to say or to expect All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check

[00:00:20] Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to podcast you twice. And then linger a long time on the second podcast! Is it Boob Grace? No, that's the kiss. No, that's the kiss.

[00:00:31] They do the same joke with him twice. I know that quote sucks, but every other quote on this page is one of K-Win's let's three page monologues Right, right, right, just her being like, I'm the most miserable person alive. I'm a pathetic worm like that

[00:00:48] Also, or an Arthur line where he's like, back in my day movies were black and white. Now their color They don't make pictures like they used to for his computers. Every movie's got a computer in it now

[00:01:01] Back then pictures used to star Claude Deccalbert. Now Claude Deccalbert is dead She's deceased! Oh, you know this guy's a veteran because of these deep insights Back then a movie used to make a million dollars. Now it makes a hundred million dollars

[00:01:19] It's almost like inflation has happened in the century that I've been alive Century that this movie's been running Back then a picture used to be the Lumiere brothers setting up a camera Filming people leaving the factory Now a picture is the holiday Oh, great, great

[00:01:43] Back then a movie used to be a book It had pages and writing in it because cameras didn't exist Oh my god Now movie star Jack Black Now more than ever Now more than ever Back then movies didn't have clocks in their walls

[00:02:05] A house the clock would be outside of the wall, mounted perhaps The clock was on the wall Not in the wall Back then the world didn't have enough heroes Now the world has had enough heroes Venom in theaters this October

[00:02:22] What if that, if like Cameron meets him in a post-credits scene And she's like you should do trailer B.O for me In the world! Back in my day the world did not people it had dinosaurs

[00:02:37] Do you know that Eli Wallach lived an additional eight years after this movie Do you want to hear something insane? The way I first knew of Eli Wallach and my frame of reference for him Is that he performed at my day camp When I was nonic

[00:02:55] Is he like testing this character? Did he give a keynote address about how he fucking went to school with Jesus or whatever He, I am realizing his character is just Alan Schroemer from What Hot Americans Somewhere That's what I'm saying

[00:03:09] But secondly, this was like a day camp I went I know people hate when I talk about somewhere in the show, but this is a different camp This was a day camp I went to Precious children day camp or whatever it was called It was called Professor Axes

[00:03:22] Professor Axes? Very special, very big boys But they would always like after lunch we'd have to go to like a performance that was usually super fucking boring And some guy would get up and he'd be like I was fifth string cellist in the Philadelphia harmonic in 1974

[00:03:41] And then he would just play the cello, right? Okay And the only one that was ever good was Eli Wallach and his wife came and performed Oh nice And I said to my mom like What do they do like waiting for Godot or like

[00:03:53] They talked about the craft of acting and they did a bunch of scenes I forget like what they were but I remember being like a fucking laugh riot And I said to my mom like they finally had a good performance today

[00:04:04] She was like who was I was like some old guy named Eli Wallach and she was like Screen legend Eli Wallach The Oakley himself He's touring summer camps And it was just like I love acting so much I want to share it with the children

[00:04:16] And Jackson that's why Yes, him and his wife just They died like the same year they're like one of those couples that were married for a gazillion years It was like lovely Yeah

[00:04:26] Yeah, I feel like this was the beginning of a couple attempts of people trying to get Eli Wallach a legacy Oscar and all of them were bad What's the other one? He did I think he got a legacy Emmy

[00:04:37] He got an honorary lifetime I believe right before he died But I think everyone was looking for the career achievement He did Best supporting actor nod because he's never gotten it Never got an Oscar nomin Yeah Should have been this

[00:04:50] I think this was clearly written to be like in Nancy's mind in Oscar for him Sure But all street money never sleeps I think was Oliver Stone sort of trying to do the same thing He's got like a big scene in that

[00:05:00] Yeah, I mean and he pops up He popped up and yeah he's in the ghost writer he plays old man He pops up in Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip Oh Jesus Christ Playing like almost the exact same character except this character was like on the blacklist

[00:05:15] And he's the character they parody on 30 Rock Yes The Tim Conway right He's like back in my day you know the ladies used to whatever That was the sandwich girl we called her that because two men would stand on each other Right That's Eli Wallach also on Wikipedia

[00:05:31] Mr. Freeze actor Proceeded by Otto Preminger Succeeded by Arnold Schwarzenegger He is one of three freezes Yeah There were three freezes on the Batman TV show because the first one was George Saunders Yes, correct And then it was Otto Preminger and then Eli Wallach Yep

[00:05:49] Anyway, of course this is a podcast about Eli Wallach The wall cast Yes The house with a clock and it's Wallach Yeah Thank you Walking the walk Oh I just of course this is Blank Trek with Gryphon and David Yes I'm Gryphon Amon David Sims

[00:06:09] We're hashtag the two friends it's a competitive advantage We're gonna tour summer camps doing it And this is a podcast about filmography I'll do it if there's money in it I know Do you know that David has become a money monster?

[00:06:23] He has become the titular character of Jodie Foster's Is it Jodie Foster maybe? 2016 movie Money Monster Wow, I've erased that movie I saw that film in the theater and reviewed it Who was? Well, George Clooney was the money monster Wow Jack O'Connell was the hostage

[00:06:41] Took the money monster hostage And Julia Roberts was in the control room So he's the real monster Well, I think society is the real monster in that one I don't want to say his name because I don't want to make this a legal thing

[00:06:53] But my friend literally fucking wrote Money Monster And didn't get credit In film school except it was the Howard Stern show instead of Instead of like Jim Cramer Right, Mad Money And like a year later his screenwriting teacher sold Money Monster

[00:07:11] Okay, let's make sure we can say that on this But yeah, okay I think you were made enough Look, I didn't name people Sure Well, there's only three credited writers of Money Monster Okay But yes, okay, cool So fuck that movie Anyway, this is a podcast about filmographies

[00:07:26] Directors who have massive success early on Their career in a given series of blank checks Make whatever crazy passion project they want And sometimes those checks clear And sometimes they exchange houses baby Uh, yeah This is a main series on the films of Nancy Meyers

[00:07:40] It's called Something's Podicast And today we're talking the holiday Now here's a story about our guest today Who's spoken on Mike because she's good Yep Who did not have to be flown in from a different city anymore Well, that's a big point

[00:07:56] Because last time she had to be flown in with Ansel Elgort And it cost us a lot of money But I don't think she knows the story We, maybe a month or two after the last time She was on the show for our Aliens episode

[00:08:08] Went in for a very big business meeting Where we were trying to sell the podcast And the person we were meeting with Was looking at all of our data And he said whoever you had on the Aliens episode You should have that person on every week

[00:08:25] Because of how big our number spike was And we're such good businessmen that it took us Two and a half years to have her on again Do you remember that? He said like We gotta have her on again We guys love money We love money

[00:08:37] David's a money monster Recent East Coast Well, you already were on the East Coast But Tri-State area She wasn't No, this is Midwest Born and raised New in town The point is Frank Hoffner's in town Thank you I got relocated here now by the podcast

[00:08:57] And I'm here forever You're in the blind check, man Transfer In the dorms In the dorms Yeah, you just cool your heels there Until we need you Let's talk holiday Cameridea's is living in your apartment in Chicago That's true And she can't believe how rustic things are

[00:09:16] Oh no, the tub, it's small Everything is made of stone She falls in love with my neighbors That I had a nice haircut once It's all good But not your brother? I guess your brother is elsewhere No, he's in Chicago now Well, there it is

[00:09:32] Tell him to look out for Cameron She's on the prowl I will This movie is weird because it's the one Nancy movie that doesn't feel like a blank check It feels like her trying to make a down the line

[00:09:44] Like this feels less personal than all her other movies When I say personal, I don't mean autobiographical Yes and no All the other Nancy movies feel like her grappling with like A notion and idea What you're saying is this is the one movie without a middle-aged character

[00:10:00] Everyone in it is either like, you know, in their 30s or 1,000 years old No, that's one element But the other thing is, the bigger thing for me is This is the only one post what women want Which she doesn't write

[00:10:12] That's really based on like a sort of high concept gimmick Yeah Like it's mostly about This one has a gimmick The device of the movie Then it is about the character dynamic It's also, and we will talk about this Her trying out four actors

[00:10:25] That all of them it feels like she's like trying them out Yes You know, like, ooh maybe they'd be a fun person to put in a movie But I feel like all other Nancy movies Feel like they stem from

[00:10:37] Here's an interesting idea for a relationship or a dynamic Like it's character first And this movie feels like it starts with What if two people swap lives The intern's kind of high concept too though Cause like, interns are usually young Not old

[00:10:52] Agreed but then you see the movie And it's actually just about that dynamic Interns are usually in their 20s Not in their, I forget how old he is 70s? How old is he in the movie? Yeah He's starting over though I guess you're right

[00:11:08] This is a blank check There's also another big high concept hook to this movie Which is what if for two hours and 15 minutes I gave audiences across the world A brief glimpse into the eye of Satan You stand directly in the eye So we brought Fran on board

[00:11:25] Cause Fran, like many people Yeah Is a fan of the film The Holiday I feel like it's reputation 2006 America Romantic Company Has grown exponentially in like the last five years Cause this movie was her least successful At the time of its release It didn't do great

[00:11:41] It was super expensive It was incredibly expensive It did fine worldwide So I think it, you know I don't think anyone was really sweating But yes it does not do as well as Movies around it Something's gotta give an escalated

[00:11:55] I think this was kind of viewed as a skimmer And then the last couple years I feel like people stand for it so fucking hard I also feel like love actually sort of dipped Yeah In public reputation Maybe this is sort of Awful Right

[00:12:08] Unlike this movie which is perfect Love actually is worse than The Holiday I'm here to say that No question, I hate love actually Love actually is just Yeah But I think like A bath of acid Everyone turned on love action

[00:12:20] And I was like well what do we have That still has British people And is quietly about Christmas I think it's also just that as newer people Enter the zeitgeist You know people who Maybe saw this movie when they were teenagers Or are now like old enough

[00:12:34] Because time marches on I don't As Eli Wallach can tell us Yeah And so they're like Back in my day I've liked that movie since I was like 10 years old Like I love The Holiday The Holiday is great It's been in rotation on cable

[00:12:48] Or you know like it's just sort of in there now Back in my day the year was 1945 Now the year is 2005 I could not make that joke I know you kept on talking And I was just waiting for the opening Because I could not make that joke

[00:13:03] I'm fine with you making an unlimited amount of that joke Business today That is as deep as his perception On how things have changed He gives a fucking The year is different than it used to be About how the past was better Right Yeah exactly we're like

[00:13:17] Opening weekends In my day The year was the metric But Fran I have to disagree with you here I don't think he ever argues that The past was better I think he just continually argues That it was different It was different He never makes judgments

[00:13:32] He never explains why one was better than the other She does ask if it was as good Or like was it really all that it lived up to And he goes It was better But in relation to her notion of it Not relation to the past

[00:13:43] Back in my day You'd have one movie every seven months Now it's seven movies every one month Go fuck yourself He doesn't really have a complaint And it's not like he's saying Like why don't I get work anymore He knows that he's 90

[00:13:57] Like he's not like trying to sell a script No and he doesn't want to do like picture He doesn't remember where he lives He hates writing He doesn't want to get a life so much He's no more When we meet him He barely knows who he is

[00:14:09] He's like ripped torn Like accidentally robbing a bank Right after that He's basically fine Me he has trouble with stairs That's about it Right And then after that he's basically Composment He can tell you all the things about how it was Well it's the social interaction

[00:14:23] With Kate Winslet's character Iris That really brings him back to life Everything and checks the hell out in the holiday No because it is You're introduced him on the side of the road And you're like oh fuck This is some David Fincher Every knot is tied Yes

[00:14:38] It is A meticulously plotted film When you're introduced to him And he's like a man who doesn't remember Where he lives on the side You're just like oh fuck Is this movie going to have a dementia subplot With a man who barely knows his own name

[00:14:51] And then she's like do you know where you live And he's like no do you She goes yeah and he goes that makes one of us And then from then on he just speaks In funny little musings And he's totally coherent And remembers the past vividly

[00:15:08] A little too vividly Too vividly He's got no take on it Hey all people can have flare ups And get confused That's true it's sort of like the visit Maybe he was sundowning Yeah In the visit I wish there was a scene where you were like

[00:15:21] Well I rubbed his diaper and he came Winslet's face in this movie You ever had the visit Yeah We gotta watch that again Yeah we do Let's just go back let's take another visit Did I tell you the crazy thing that's come up recently That Ramali my sister

[00:15:38] Who is a young person On paper she is I don't know In terms of the year she's been alive Yeah exactly right according to science She's a young person Right but most pointedly was less than year old When the sixth sense came out

[00:15:52] Has never heard of the sixth sense And thus has not had the twist ending ruined for her And doesn't know it has a twist ending She doesn't even know that it has a twist ending Like She was talking about hereditary

[00:16:03] And I was like yeah it's like another great Tony Collette struggles with her family In ghost movies Sure right And she's like what's the other one I was like sixth sense and she's like what's the sixth sense That's cool

[00:16:13] And I was like no one's told you the ending of the sixth sense And she's like why does something happen at the end And I'm so excited to fucking watch the sixth sense with her

[00:16:21] Apparently the one person alive who hasn't caught all the jokes about the sixth sense Good for her She's always cooking She's always cooking It's my impression Yeah it's very impression Can you get the door griffin Can you hear something off in the distance Getting closer Dun-nuh-nuh Dun-nuh-nuh

[00:16:52] Oh my god Do you know Ben do you see who it is No Hello White Nick Fury Hi White Nick Fury No judgment I'm just saying I am that Canon the Marvel 616 comic Oh yeah Version of Nick Fury Well Welcome to the studio

[00:17:13] You know Ben there was an idea Uh huh To put together a team of extraordinary people Sure Okay For the greatest ad read Of all time Okay And so you're here Zippercruiser sponsoring this episode are they not Yeah they are When you want to put together A team

[00:17:32] Uh huh okay I see where we're going Of extraordinary people Sure Like I White Nick Fury want to do For ad read infinity war Well great hey Dun-nuh-nuh Dun-nuh-nuh Dun-nuh-nuh-nuh Dun-nuh-nuh Wow Okay You thought I was dead here In the corner Oh god Al Pacino Detective Wildorm

[00:17:55] Or yeah Wildormers Sleeper on a pile of garbage Yeah yeah I know you're here all the time I keep telling you to leave the studio Hello Hi Perhaps you remember me Rich Uncle Moneybags People call me Pennybags Uh I have a stinky butt Okay yes Sure

[00:18:13] Out of the way Perhaps you remember me No Christopher Plummer I've replaced Rich Uncle Moneybags Yes With his stinky Nuh-nuh-nuh Hello I am Robert Cop Good friend of Griffin Canonically What We have to be quiet You see who just invaded the studio Yes It's a Snorlax

[00:18:37] Oh okay right He's so he's so tired Ben Okay I'll make this Hello Okay It's me Flat Stanley Everyone remembers me a popular character Uh Hello Okay It's me the ghost of Julia Child Oh my god alright well listen Ding dong ding dong Yeah okay

[00:18:59] Hello I am a sandwich applying for a job Hey sandwich Well you're in the right place yeah Mr Frodo Sam what's going on I want to introduce you to my friend A sexy cartoon Robin Hood fox You are sexy yes I'm the Trix rabbit Okay great

[00:19:19] Here are six other serial characters I'm not gonna have time There's not enough room in the studio for this Suffering Suck-a-tash All the Looney Toons are here And me Nemo It's me Albert Brooks Okay everyone It's me Mario Don't touch that hey don't touch that Luigi

[00:19:38] It's me Luigi Alright Perhaps you remember me The wet transfer Oh my god alright Your arch nemesis Alright I'm just gonna start Oh no it's a trap No I'm just gonna start that I had more of our X-bars Hey it's a trap Listen hey

[00:19:52] Hey I am Mercule Porot Perhaps the greatest ad reader of all time Alright yeah hi It's me Jack Nicholson baby Oh my god Ready to rub another man's rhubarb Hey Yes Yeah It's me Jack's with me I just want to do another ad read

[00:20:12] Well could I do the first one Before we do Yeah To me is Sam Elliott Jackson Man's older brother Sure Just want to do another ad read Look at it There's the kid from wide awake Um yeah and so what

[00:20:30] Oh my god they're all here in the studio Alright he's sleepy Oh my god But it's wide awake yeah Who's this man with his soaking wet bed sheets He looks like he just came from a brook Oh I know that guy It's brook Who sells Linens

[00:20:45] By the brook Hey brook how you doing Uh good Well Griffin we've assembled the greatest ad read team of all time Wow you certainly have white neck fury What should we do now I don't know you want to just read the ad copy of me it's your show

[00:21:00] Okay yeah um well you know Ben there are job sites that send you tons of the wrong Resumes to sort through and that's not smart But you know what is smart Going to zipperacruder.com slash blank To hire the right person

[00:21:12] Because zipperacruder doesn't depend on candidates finding you Okay it finds them for you It's a powerful matching technology scans Thousands of resumes Identifies people with the right skills Education and experience for your job And actively invites them to apply So you get qualified candidates fast

[00:21:28] That's why zipperacruder is rated number one by employers in the US This rating comes from hiring sites On trust pilot with over 1,000 resumes And right now my listeners Can try zipperacruder for free at this exclusive web address Ready for it zipperacruder.com slash blank

[00:21:44] That's zipperacruder.com slash blank Zipperacruder.com slash blank Zipperacruder it's the smartest way to hire Alright Wow Griffin that was a great ad read Yeah can you get everyone out of the studio now It's very crowded in here now Yeah I mean Hey Who took my red man

[00:22:05] What's that box doing in the corner They left their cereal box here Alright can we get back to the episode Yeah please yeah This movie I feel like the moment where I realized And we talked about this a little bit And someone's got a gift thing

[00:22:25] But there was like a thing last fall Where there was like a big Twitter game of everyone recasting their holiday remake There was Yeah where it was like pick four actors Who you would put in the holiday And come up with like two weird mismatch couples

[00:22:39] And I was just like do that's Many people like the holiday And is it just the notion that you have two pairings Like what's the thing that people are watching on to I don't think they're that mismatched either Yeah Like that's not the premise No

[00:22:53] I don't I this missed me completely I sort of came back into the holiday I feel like in like 2015-2016 So about the 10th anniversary Yeah well it was a big college favorite of ours too But I saw it in theaters also Okay you saw it in theaters

[00:23:08] I saw it in theaters at the Randhurst AMC Hell's again Did you see it in theaters David? I saw it in theaters in Newcastle Where I went to college At the Newcastle The Odeon or whatever the fuck it was called by that point Because Britain had like Odeon

[00:23:23] Alright chill out No I got no complaints David was on a holiday How apropos he took a holiday To another country where he didn't live The Odeon in Britain is the major theater chain The sort of AMC or whatever And they got so big that Britain literally invoked

[00:23:38] The monopoly law and it like said to Odeon Like you need to give like 15 multiplexes To a new company Wow So like suddenly the Odeon got something one of them They just turned into something called empire Which is like it was literally like same employees

[00:23:52] Same thing but they were just like we're a new company now So they just started a second company Because there's too many Odeons You own like 60% or 70% of the theater market Like unacceptable like this percent Has to be given away That's crazy Isn't that crazy? Yeah

[00:24:07] I mean I don't want a vacation nonetheless I mean that's so stressful for you to have to deal with all that I saw this movie on a date I was super pumped for it Fucking humble Frank Because I was like really into Nancy Meyers

[00:24:17] I really loved something's got to give as we discuss Yeah And I was like I think I was just in on like Jude Law I was kind of in on the sort of Jack Black Leading Man experiment It's movie 05 or 06 06 Okay so Jack Black Christmas 06

[00:24:34] Is post King Kong Sure But more importantly post School of Rock But yes Well no I think because School of Rock is the first proper Like Jack Black totally works as a Leading Man movie Right But King Kong I look at as when they were like

[00:24:47] Let's see what else he can do Like can you put him outside of a Jack Black movie And make it work That's why I bring up King Kong Yeah King Kong had happened And I was mixed on King Kong

[00:24:56] But it certainly hadn't turned me off a Jack Black Necessarily Yeah I was kinda like You know I liked Jack Black Yeah I guess I'd seen High Fidelity when I was You know whatever age I was 14 Yeah And like you know I was like

[00:25:09] I'm on the ground floor with this guy Like I want him to do well That is one of the most incredible like Star is born performances ever Cause he literally like slams open the doors of the movie And you go like Oh this guy's a movie star now

[00:25:20] Right you're like oh look at this guy What's he doing Right this dude who was on Four Mr. Show sketches What's Jack Black up to Right yeah you know Right So I was like pumped for the movie I saw it and I literally just like

[00:25:31] Was like this is the worst longest fucking piece of shit I was so mad I went like we had dinner afterwards And I was like God that was terrible I don't think she liked it Like it was like neither of us were that into it

[00:25:43] And so I was like soured on Nancy for a little while I was so mad at her for this movie Yeah My mom loves this movie Watches it all the time And routinely chides me for not being into it What I'll say about the runtime is that

[00:25:55] It's very long I went to go see it at the Ranchers Day and See With my friend John Right But my parents My parents were like how long is the movie I was like I don't know it's a rom-com It's probably 90 minutes

[00:26:06] And then I just sort of like went fully off the grid For two and a half hours And I got grounded Because I misrepresented how long the movie was To my parents I had one of those as well I feel like for movie kids Especially in that era

[00:26:20] It was like a real risk to be like Well of course I'm going to turn off my phone I'm a considerate moviegoer But also I'm 14 If my parents can't reach me for three hours I might get grounded

[00:26:30] You know when I'd go to see like the New World or whatever I saw this movie in theaters It is the only Nancy Meyers movie I saw in theaters Weirdly I've seen all of her other movies on home video But

[00:26:45] It is one of the only movies I ever walked out of Sure And I will say I knew this I walked out because the group I was with Was like fuck this movie Sure You didn't start the walkout

[00:26:57] I don't think I've ever walked out of a movie of my own volition The only movie I tried to walk out of was Pearl Harbor When I was 15 Where I realized that the film was like There was like two hours left of the film

[00:27:08] And it felt like I'd been in there for a million years And I turned to my friend and said like let's just go And he was like They haven't even blown up Pearl Harbor yet And I was like fine Like I was just Like he was like

[00:27:18] At least I'm here to see death and destruction If nothing else So go on No I walked out of it I didn't protest But I wouldn't have walked out of it on my own volition I remember the night vividly because After we walked out

[00:27:30] My friends took a bunch of photos And I was like That was the best I ever looked Like still on Facebook when I look at the photos Of me outside the Lincoln Square Theater Like what a hottie Yeah I'm like that was my peak

[00:27:40] And I didn't even realize it Wow Walking out of the holiday was the coolest I will ever be Right Um But Then I saw the second half of it On a plane like six months later I was like I guess I should watch the second half of it

[00:27:51] And was like Yup don't like it But the thing that was very Noteworthy to me Especially since I saw the hours separately Is my big into the movie was like I don't really like Nancy Meyers movies I don't have that much interest

[00:28:05] In watching a Cameron Diaz Jude Law Romcom I like both of them Certainly at this time I like both of them a lot But I'm like that looks really generic The Kate Winslet Jack Black pairing is interesting These are both people who don't do movies like this

[00:28:16] Oh you mean on paper Right I was like Kate Winslet as an actress Doesn't tend to do Big movie star roles I just was very rude It wasn't just the Oh Titanic She had essentially said I will not do those kinds of movies Right I was not interested

[00:28:30] This point was hardcore Kate Winslet fanatic Like she was my favorite living actress Yeah because She was my favorite living actress I didn't know when it was on No but there were I was like so in on little children I was like so in on all of them

[00:28:43] Well little children comes out right at the same time Very close to this movie October, to this movie is I think December So that was fresh in your mind

[00:28:51] I loved her in like everything from like 2002 till she wins the Oscar and the reader was like the first performance of hers I didn't like well I'm gonna alright

[00:29:00] I'm gonna run that down for you the run you just because it goes like this the life of David Gale which she is a Bominable you're right. I haven't seen that movie eternal sunshine, but she's great right finding Neverland

[00:29:11] I mean at the time I thought there was a lot right Yeah, I don't remember any that I remember now I was so sold on her at the time I was like God she can do no wrong that movie is

[00:29:20] Creepy romance and cigarettes the John Turturro musical I've never seen I think she's good enough all the Kingsmen Never seen my favorite book of all time. I refuse to watch it. It's a great book

[00:29:32] I love that book the original movie is fine like just watch that little children right, which I love flushed away She's good in there. I mean she's she's good It's you have to be fair. She's good

[00:29:45] She plays a rat named Rita who lives underneath the toilet and the holiday in which she plays her second Iris because she had already played Iris in the film Iris, right? It's just great in that she is good at this point

[00:29:57] She has gotten like five Oscar nominations and she's just turned like 30 31. She can nominate for little children She did since since insensibility Iris Titanic eternal sunshine Little children Eternal sunshine She didn't get a finding neverland not no

[00:30:13] She did I mean that would because that was the same year's eternal sunshine They thought maybe she'll get supporting and lead and she didn't I mean good. Yeah, fine Yeah, no, she had that right that sort of run of that

[00:30:26] I guess Amy Adams is on now where she was like 30 like she was she had done it a very young age while After being in the biggest movie of all time that could have seemed like an Overwhelming shadow over most young actors careers

[00:30:41] She had sort of zagt and then the idea just did which it to a big studio movie was very exciting to me Jack Black I loved I loved everyone trying to see if they could expand the Jack Black persona

[00:30:50] The first hour of this movie after the initial setup has so little Kate Winslet so little Jack Black It's well especially Jack Black right like Jack Black doesn't really come in in a serious way until the last 30 minutes of the movie Pretty much to make fettuccine

[00:31:03] He is the fifth lead of this film. Yeah, behind you. I wall. Yeah, which is really frustrating. Mmm. No, I'm Less of him in the better in this movie disagree. Oh This this is good. Okay. Go ahead of Jack Black less of Jack Black

[00:31:18] This is a little die on Literally makes me want to walk into the sea and never talk to anyone I think he is what's to not understand our life so charming in this movie. Yeah, he's so charming

[00:31:31] Written I think he's very charming in this movie. He's doing his little melodies Absolutely I would call the police And then possibly murder them in into like few minutes while I waited for the police to come back in my day

[00:31:51] We didn't have ribbity dupe. We only had flubidy flu I was I would call the police and say I can't be held accountable for what happens next And I would like hold the phone up to him as he was going like Like I would check

[00:32:10] Joanna was so horrified by him in this movie that I had to keep being like, you know, he's got such a great reputation He's like a nice guy like really good. Like, you know, I was trying to eat up like horrible

[00:32:22] Okay, cuz I'll say a majority is gonna win this argument and it's an argument I watched this movie with my girlfriend humble brag Wow And it's say it again. I watch this not girl I'm gonna brag humble brag. I beat you. You didn't say it. Fuck you

[00:32:35] I like that once I self humble brag you asked me to do it Cuz you've done it to me so many times So you watch it with your lady you thank you I watch boy I watch and

[00:32:52] She every time he came on screen was like I can't believe how good he is He's amazing I will also say I brought this up to a crush of mine and they were like, oh Jack block movie

[00:33:05] Yeah, that's that's the first person they went to and that's for the iconic romantic performance Then tiebreaker. It's not high cuz already Yeah, you can make it a tie Well, I really could join my side make it too on to you like music cuz I like music

[00:33:22] And you totally like to annoy women with Like that David that's not fair. He also annoys Dustin Hoffman to make it sound like it's a gender thing is very unfair We're gonna get the dust and how I got blockbusters

[00:33:37] You hang out in abandoned stores. It does sound like something you do Then maybe like this is super vaporwave is like rats crawler Hell yeah, then you checked into the the holiday this morning, right?

[00:33:49] Before watching and you you were fucking on board this movie. I liked it a lot. Yeah, yeah, there's nothing wrong with it No, it's great. It earns its runtime. I'll tell you this napkin head rule Okay, it is kind of incredible that

[00:34:05] Jude Law didn't make JFL new faces that year It's a good bit with with napkin head Oh, yeah, I mean New faces characters new faces character well that was I think that's what fucked him up

[00:34:19] Is that they didn't have characters at the time? Mm-hmm, and if they had characters He would have gotten in with napkin head. He didn't have a killer catchphrase though for his standup I am daddy. I am daddy. He's daddy

[00:34:30] Can you imagine being daddy and then saying I am daddy? Yeah, and then even becoming more daddy over time number one That's 50% of why I'm all in on having he's daddy Here's daddy. I'm gonna try and find the clip

[00:34:44] He's so embarrassed to be daddy, but why why be embarrassed? Don't be embarrassed embrace your daddiness cookbooks at night Fran He sows Andy as a cow. I mean how could a man do those things? I Am daddy. Yes. I am daddy

[00:35:01] So this movie just feels like she slam dunk went into Sony right and this is Columbia after she had made a bunch of money Off as something's gotta give at Columbia Okay, and says like hey here's the pitch

[00:35:12] Women house swap you get four big movie stars. I'm writing it for camera Diaz Jude Law Jack black Kate Winslet all four of them are interested and they gave her a green light, right? This feels like a one sentence pitch Yeah, I guess so I mean

[00:35:27] You say this isn't a blank check movie But she had her biggest blank check like somebody's got to give was a huge hit Yeah, I think she was just like I'm gonna make another movie

[00:35:34] I think it's a blank check in terms of her being able to make the movie without any interruption It just doesn't feel like for this kind of money. Yes. Yeah, and also to pick a cast and all the right, you know That shit. Yeah, yeah

[00:35:46] I mean that's the big thing is that like she had proven so good with movie stars that Kate Winslet was like I will finally make another big studio movie with Nancy Myers

[00:35:56] I'm trying to think if yeah, I guess she had just had not I guess none of these count as big studio movies Yeah, no not really. I mean all the Kings men maybe yeah, that was a supporting part though

[00:36:06] Yeah, it's not a very large part in that movie Jude Law is also in it Aware because that's the one where Sean Penn at the Oscars was like one of our finest actors I mean that that's important context for this movie is

[00:36:23] 2004 is the year when Jude Law is in like eight movies in six months. Yeah This is the tail end it was October through December. He had six films I think that that's oh for right That's what I'm saying

[00:36:35] Oh five was the year where it was like all the Kings men which had been pushed back There's nothing in a five. Yeah, oh five is cool down. Yeah. Oh, okay

[00:36:43] So oh five was supposed to be all the Kings men and it gets pushed back to oh six So his oh for run is Huckabees, which he's fantastic and I weigh in Fran if you I love him in Huckabees

[00:36:52] You know I think the accent bad now, but I think the performance is good The accent works for me because that person is like a robot sure Alfie which he's never seen I guess so that movie is horrible directed by Nancy Myers's ex-husband

[00:37:08] Closer which he's sort of the worst in like kind of what blanket them well That's his character like it's kind of the worst role cuz he's just like Why'd you cheat on me or what? I don't even that movie is

[00:37:20] Super distinctive remember I know people love that movie the aviator which he plays Errol Flaney punch someone in the face Sky captain where he played the titular role of sky captain

[00:37:31] I believe you haven't read out the full title that filmed. Yes sky captain and though the world of tomorrow Well in my day it was the world he yesterday

[00:37:40] I don't fuck no one has ever been more excited for the release of a movie than I was for sky captain in the world

[00:37:46] Tomorrow you have no idea how hard I bought into sky captain in the world of tomorrow. I never saw yeah, it's a piece of shit Sorry, it's not I'm being I remember seeing it being like oh this is kind of boring and unengaged. It's a little boring

[00:37:59] I would like to see it again to see if it it plays any different Amazing curio now. It's so years. It's fucking. It's not a piece of shit. I feel now I feel like I'm being a snarky dude. It's but it's not great

[00:38:11] You're just mad that I'm right about the holiday and it's sort of effecting how you speak to the rest of us His final o4 is where he played lemony snicket in the that's just I should have gotten a golden typewriter and then in 06 he had all the Kingsman

[00:38:28] Probably held over yeah, it was making an entering the final Anthony mingela movie, right? Which is a weird movie. Yeah, truly weird and this so O4 is like too much Jude Law too fast and I feel like the public response like why is

[00:38:43] Alive it was like right it was a real barrage again and Miller thing was happening Like he was just fucking everywhere and everyone was like whoa now. He slowed down and Chris rock me front of him, right? Oh five he's quiet and

[00:38:55] Then 06 he comes back and now it's like who is Jude Law gonna be now. He's young He's already had a big tabloid like blow up. He's already gotten two Oscar nominations

[00:39:06] What's his career gonna be and this feels like you get that young though at this point? Yeah, how does he 30? He's 35 like this is a thing about this movie. Yeah, you know He'd been around a while daddy. He's daddy

[00:39:21] He's that is true. I forgot about that and thank you in my day. You were father not daddy Yes, I am father Do you have kids where his kids he doesn't he had a wife who had a great ass Sorry laugh

[00:39:36] The two things a woman needs. Yeah, shelly Berman's in there a great Shelly. He's great. I love Shelly Berman Yeah, the year after this he does my blueberry nights, right? He makes some blueberry pancakes for Yeah, Nora Jones or whatever and sleuth mm-hmm, which is

[00:39:54] Bad yeah, and that's the end of Jude Law as a leading man And then he becomes a weird character then he locks into like Sherlock Holmes Hugo Anna Karenina right where he's like

[00:40:11] And then he's great inside effect let's go yeah, I'm sort of like gives up on the leading man This is the last movie where he's like no, I've got a hairline

[00:40:19] Yeah, normal hairline right for a man with hair right which like by the way Jude Law still looks fucking great You mean right now. Yeah, I think right now. I think he looks great in this movie

[00:40:30] But this movie's 12 year you mean I'm asking right like in 20. I'm saying 2018. I think 2018. He looks great I agree I really like the way he looks and I like the way he's let himself age I think he's still very handsome, but I think he looks great

[00:40:44] I mean like in like as Dumbledore He looks cute as that or pops his ass on the table Like Yeah, and they're like Dumbledore what's up with you and he like sort of just like hops his ass out of the table

[00:40:59] That's the only thing that makes me want to see that move And I just like him in it like what about the crimes of Grindelwald though look we already tried those

[00:41:10] I'd be so much more interested if it was like a like people versus OJ or like an OJ made in America 13 hour documentary about it's all set in the the Wizard McGot. Isn't that what the wizard? Yeah, whatever it's called

[00:41:25] No, you're right. I just to me that movie sounds too crowded. How many crimes and the crimes of Grindelwald How many be like 12 to 13 crimes groups of things that sound ominous and bizarre I

[00:41:41] Just like he's the one thing I kind of enjoy about the Sherlock Holmes movies. He's good He's fun now sort of like playing I love him in anacorn and up like that was what I really was like

[00:41:53] This guy has finally gotten what a great character actor he can be yeah Vox Lux which is coming out soon, especially when this thing posts He is as I was telling Fran about him at Vox Lux. Yeah, I can't wait. Oh my god

[00:42:06] Well, he's got like a Yankees jacket on the whole time. He's like, yeah I'm a Yankees fan now. Yeah, it's sort of the new thing about me. Oh, yeah, Fran's a Yankees fan With French we do our segment catching up with Fran yeah

[00:42:17] We're Fran so Fran has walked into the studio Head to toe and Yankees paraphrasing an alia. She's eating a street hot dog. What's not talking about Aaron judge? I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah people think I don't know. Yeah, she won't stop checking a New York subway map

[00:42:35] That's the rattling you're hearing. Yeah, she's shaking a bunch of subway tokens in her hand. I don't even know how she got No place to even put him anymore Fran how's it feel to be in the city never sleeps New Jersey? I

[00:42:50] Guess the main part about living there is that I'm also I'm walking here. You're walking. I'm always walking here Yep, no, it's good. It's good. I'm having a nice time. Yeah. I mean, I love the Yankees. I love trash You know sort of like air-cooked trash

[00:43:11] How do you feel about ditches? Ditches I spent a lot of time growing up, you know, there are a couple I will say I say it's not rich. Well, I sometimes I go for runs

[00:43:22] And I was exploring new routes in New Jersey and there's one I don't do because I'm like too many ditches Take just takes me past too many and I'm always nervous Something could come in or out don't knock until you try okay. Good to know. Yeah

[00:43:35] Ben of course is trying to set up a backdoor pilot for his own spin-off podcast ditch, please In which he just ranks the best ditches in New Jersey and the tri-state area at large I'm trying to learn so much about New Jersey

[00:43:49] So if you have a list of ditches for me to sort of check out, please let me know I'm gonna develop a whole like yeah, like a spreadsheet or spreadsheet or some kind of like road map for you Like good hot dogs great vintage clothes or kids

[00:44:02] Good porch good Power plant No way, what come on throw in a ditch I Think I really enjoy about having a sister who's like a decade younger is that occasionally I will like Recommend a movie to her And she will watch it and be like wait

[00:44:28] I didn't understand like why this person had a career sure sure sure and in the last year Romley watched both Towns of Mr. Ripley and something about Mary and Like came back to me and was like so what happened to Cameradias? What happened to Jude Law? All right

[00:44:42] Well, let's let's move over to Cameradias right like deep but but I think that's what's interesting about the two of them In this movie is like this is them trying to hold on to the vestiges of that sort of like sparkling

[00:44:53] Unbelievable super bright stardom they had when they hit yeah, and at this point They're kind of like going through the motions of like I think this is what someone people find charming about me Yeah, and they're sort of styled that way too where they're both real

[00:45:06] I mean it makes sense that she is tan but he's got that sort of like fake Hollywood tan She's very sparkly. She's always in her like creams. Well, I mean that's a Nancy thing

[00:45:15] It isn't anything she's sort of playing like a Nancy Meyers character. That's 20 years too young Like it's sort of an odd roll because she's like I'm just so type A, you know and like I just like everything how it is She's like also like a missing throat

[00:45:29] She's we're gonna I mean her character is crazy, but can we talk about Diaz for a second? Yes Okay, you seem like you wanted to say no I was just gonna say I think so your point friend both of them feel like

[00:45:41] Disneyland robot versions of Jude Law and Cameradias Programmed to do what they think audiences like from them and it was like both of them were like Why did everyone want me to be a movie star in the first like what was the thing here? Diaz is

[00:45:53] very weird because she I feel like hit as this like I mean like you know the mask She's just like a sex pot if the joke is that she's like no misdirect

[00:46:04] No, but she's doing what she became her thing where she's sort of the goofy, you know kind of klutzy Person as well. It's movie sets her up as like here's human Jessica Rabbit and then it becomes the gold dress

[00:46:16] She comes down on right. She's the more well-rounded human one, right? And then I think something about Mary's where they really solidify it where it's like Oh, she's just like this ray of sunshine sure this very genuine very goofy very

[00:46:28] And also my best friend's wedding what she rules in right? Oh my god She's right in that but she's a sense way playing the antagonist in that no the whole point is that she's nice That's the antagonist is Julia Roberts

[00:46:40] I'm saying the journey that Julia Roberts has to go on is to realize that she's the bad guy movie is Masterpiece yeah, it's PJ Hogan. Yeah Peter Pan. Yeah Mirals wedding what else does he got?

[00:46:52] Weird one. He do after Peter Pan. Oh, he did you know what he did he did confessions of a shop apaholic and then Mental what's meant Tony Colette is an Australian movie okay back with and That's it yeah, yeah, he kind of fell off Wow

[00:47:12] But you know that um you muriel's wedding best friends wedding Peter Pan. That's a weird trio. Yes Sorry Cameron becomes huge Mary is like a phenomenon Charlie's Angels is huge for her sure seen that much camera

[00:47:28] She's also doing her best friends wedding and I've seen this and I've seen In her shoes and that might be it being John Malkovich A vanilla sky obviously has her a tour run where she does like

[00:47:42] Gains in New York where she's really miss cast yeah. Yeah, she is Miss cast and I love that movie to death, but she is she's miss cat. She's doing her best right, I think the night and

[00:47:53] Those guys she's phenomenal being John Malkovich. She's great in both of them. She's really good in being there That's probably her best for those are two performances. She should have been nominated for yeah

[00:48:02] And she got like globe nom's but no right. She got close and she got sag nom's I think too And then and then in her shoes is probably the best of her rom-com performances

[00:48:16] Like I would maybe have given him ideas like for Oscar nominations if I ruled the world She's great in in her shoes, which is an underrated movie. Yeah Although I haven't seen it since theaters, but I remember it being good

[00:48:30] She's really good and I know some people really stick up for that movie But then there's a weird thing post in her shoes where all her performances start being really mean

[00:48:39] Well, there's what happens in Vegas where she's kind of played as like an asshole. I haven't seen that she bad teacher She's bad teacher. She's bad yeah mean mean and bad. I think yeah in my day teachers were good They educated the children of America. They weren't bad

[00:48:58] No, yeah, okay No, but isn't it kind of interesting that she then like she stops being like goofy like effervescent She starts being like really angry and there's certain things I She's angry. I'm gonna throw out to you like night and day

[00:49:12] She's sort of clotsy and fun in that one right like isn't that again? So old old-school Cameron That it doesn't feel very old-school. You got the green hornet. I literally forgot she's in that

[00:49:23] Like totally forgot that she's I forgot that whole the bit in that movie movies weird the bit in that movie is that she is Seth Rogan's like secretary He keeps on thinking they have a thing and she just keeps on shutting him down

[00:49:36] Sounds great sounds like a rewarding role the counselor which is incredible in and she has sex with a car And it's the greatest in that movie rules, but it's weird because they made her redub her entire performance That movie is completely bizarre

[00:49:49] 100% a dr because they didn't like the voice she did on set sounds great She apparently seen the car of Rihanna impression and they made her redub it in American accent seems normal Good call on the ADR there really yeah, the other woman which is the one with

[00:50:05] Leslie man and Kate Upton where they like Inact revenge on direct by Nick Kassavadis Amy Latin Lannister Yeah, yeah, is she one of those three women? She's one of the three other women or is well, they're all the other women. I guess that's the idea

[00:50:18] I don't know. I guess I only ever remember a man and up my two favorite actresses Of course, I would genuinely categorize all of these as angry performances. I think her thing becomes that she's angry

[00:50:29] And then her last film ever and now she said you're gonna make sex tape Which I haven't seen to be fair and then Annie That's her last performance is playing Mrs. Hannigan like the most unpleasant character. It's true

[00:50:41] You're right. She plays a lot of sharp-edged characters, right? Which is the opposite of what the first half of her career I just think it's an interesting no it is Severe shift that holiday sort of in the middle complaint because she's nice and sharp yeah

[00:50:54] Well, she's so likable, but her whole thing is being like well, I'm unlikable. Is she so She definitely keeps telling us that she doesn't have emotions that she's a Fucking robot from the planet I

[00:51:08] She's bad at sex she does have emotions. She hasn't cried in 20 years and yet We constantly see her laugh and enjoy the corrections by Jonathan Franzen She brings like a wheelbarrow of Oprah's book I don't know how she got that on the plane. It's like a full

[00:51:24] Shots of both of those books and then totally forgotten the second she meets daddy She like sits down on the couch reads I guess like one book for like five minutes and is like God I need to book a plane home I am out of here

[00:51:38] Go on. No, it's a very odd Performance in this I'm mixed on her but I like her and Diaz It is weird that she just yet. I guess just gave up. I mean you can't top the counselor

[00:51:50] No, and she did you know apparently she's happy being married to one of the good Charlotte boys Madden's Is that right? She's married to a Madden. I think Ben G. Oh, you know what it is. It's mad 98 That's who she's married didn't she date a

[00:52:03] Timberlake that was a thing I remember Dylan she did it for a while from there something about a rod she did it for a while Timberlake's best album is about her. I would say which is his best future sex love sounds

[00:52:15] But yeah, that was the other thing I was gonna say all matter. I think that's what he said sexy back. Yeah, okay Wait a second, I'm sorry to interrupt the momentum we have going in this episode

[00:52:28] But what what just happened in the studio? It's it's feeling like significantly more Chill in here for some reason I can't figure where Ben go It's me Baping Ben is back. Oh my god and his his His Mac computer has turned into a Macintosh one an apple one

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[00:55:27] Influence on everything. That's true. I transformed it. I do that to websites Yes So just to tell you a couple of flavors that caught my eye just cuz like I'm always cruising for new Flaves, of course They got a USA mix E liquid. I'm a patriot. I

[00:55:43] Don't know exactly what that's gonna taste like but I want to know I guess probably a little bit of Michigan Little bit of Mississippi sure they got a mocha E liquid mocha. You can have you know what you could you could eat dinner? Yeah, got yourself a little

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[00:57:39] Com has you covered He's disappearing back inside of and Ben has reappeared hey What I what I miss that was incredible I guess you took a long drag of your e-sig and when you exhaled

[00:57:56] Vape and Ben came out my nose is pleated. Yeah a lot. Yeah, um, maybe you should let him back out again. I Don't think I should okay. Let's just finish the episode. All right cool

[00:58:07] I think I was gonna say that I kind of like about Cameron Diaz in this second half of her career where I think the movies aren't as good is she did

[00:58:17] Very consistently make a movie is where she's paired up with much younger actors, which I think is cool Uh-huh that she was always sort of a an older love interest and they didn't make a point of it

[00:58:27] Because she's older than seagull. She's older than kutcher. She's older than Brogan Bad teachers timber like and seagull like She was always playing like five years older than her romantic co-star. She's the same age as Jude Law

[00:58:42] That's nice. Yeah, this is the last one I think she's a full six months older than Jude Law Made her Cool Yeah, so and then yeah Jack Black we talked about him and Eli Wallach, you know, he's the ugly Janet Sossamans in this movie

[00:59:01] Yeah, which she's the um she's the actress Jack Blacks and a girl and she's got like three lines I was in 40 days and 49 I was gonna say she had a couple like and and night's tale where it was like maybe she's a thing

[00:59:12] And then already a potential thing right. She's already just getting three lines No, she yeah, she she it rules of attraction is her last big movie Right and she shows up in kiss kiss bang bang as well, but she's like gets murdered, right?

[00:59:25] Isn't she the like the mystery? Yeah, yeah, right a Weird career sure Ed Burns as we famously are aware is from Brooklyn in Yeah, well we should David come on. Oh, yeah

[00:59:41] I know I know I know that that's like a fan theory that I'm like building up slanderous He might sue us for saying that on like crazy things He played a character in saving private Ryan in which he was insanely third-build

[00:59:59] Where I guess like if you if you sort of like sift through I'm sure isn't he insanely second-built or a seismor to I Mean he's second. I think he's second. I think it's a science more

[01:00:17] Yeah, I mean it's Hank's saving private Ryan mean Hank's gets that above the right, but yes He is second-build Damon his third build. Yeah seismors fourth. Wow. Wow Absolutely crazy Vin Diesel of course, you know, you know the burn story. That's like insane, right?

[01:00:34] How he got his start Maybe that he was a PA on entertainment tonight and Robert Redford came to do an interview Okay, and he had made Uh The brothers Mulligan was his first film, right? There's McMullen brothers McMullen, right?

[01:00:50] He had made brothers McMullen and was like, oh Robert Redford, right? He runs a Sundance, right? And he like went upstairs got a VHS of his movie and handed it to Robert Redford and the elevator

[01:01:02] I was like, hey, can you watch this maybe put it in your festival and he did Right like the thing they tell you not to do right like don't go up to a famous person

[01:01:11] Roger Robert Redford, right? Like you know those lunatics who like go to Q&A is with like their full screenplay and they're like Can you read this right? He literally went up to Robert Redford at an interview and Right And he was like but he was handsome

[01:01:30] Went home watched it. I don't know about this told Sundance like put it in the festival And then it got bought for like two million dollars or whatever one it won the dramatic. Yeah Crazy anyway in this he plays a big a big douchebag. Yeah, he fucking sucks

[01:01:46] Rufus Sewell plays the world's greatest super villain Yeah, he plays An emotional terrorist, like in a sweater Yeah, he's good in this movie It starts with like a lot of Kate Winslet voiceover about like the nature of love and the tragedy of love and unrequited love, right?

[01:02:05] She's writing a wedding column for the Daily Telegraph, right? And this feels very kind of like Bridget Jones adjacent It's like okay Here's like a beautiful Hollywood movie start playing a quote-unquote mass mousy

[01:02:16] Sure unnoticed girl in the office in England and you're like I get what kind of movie this is She's in love with her co-worker. They seemingly have this kind of emotional affair

[01:02:27] But also they have slept together. Yeah, it's not an emotional affair. They he's her been on that She's her been on this Right, she's his bit on the side. He has never committed to her Right. Yeah, and she's always in love with him

[01:02:40] And he always just dips into the pool every once in a while and is seriously dating other women. Yeah, he's off Right, right. He's got a girlfriend. They have this flirt She's convincing her friend that someday he's actually gonna leave her for her Kate

[01:02:53] Sure, he's gonna sell them a Kate and then they announce at Christmas party At the holiday party that he's in fact engaged their other co-worker Yeah, I guess it's set up the Kate Winslet is the one who writes the marriage announcements in the paper. Yeah, it's so cruel

[01:03:06] They were a single screw and Nancy Myers also like literally Replicates the like push-in on her crying face from sense and sensibility Like it's literally the same shot just ten years later But I am immediately on board with this movie

[01:03:19] I'm like I am so into watching Kate Winslet and it's not him do her version of Bridget Jones Trying to get pick herself up the floor and find love again And you realize from the very beginning like oh, like Kate's really given a performance here

[01:03:31] Like she knows she's in a romantic comedy. She knows it's a movie star mode But like there's real pathos to what she's playing. Yeah, and I'm so on board. Okay. Can I give my opinion?

[01:03:40] Yes, Bridget Jones is funny. She has like personality makes jokes. Yes, it wins little this is like a sentient sponge You just sort of sits there going like oh, no, you're right. I'm sorry, you know Just like as everyone shreds all over her. She's the worst protagonist

[01:03:55] I think she doesn't have any Jokes being going on characterization other than being miserable. She's nice to people very polite She plays it very well and as a pro idol the gardener. She's good at playing a sad person. Yeah, a talented actor

[01:04:11] Yeah, she rules. I loved her as a teenager when I saw this in theaters because I was like I also am sad I will say now I find I comma two comma I will say now she's like the world's most pathetic woman in a way

[01:04:24] You just want to literally grab her and be like what's going on with you now There are people like that certainly you get like caught up in a bad toxic relationship thing and can't Get out of it. You want to grab her and say in movies

[01:04:37] There are leading ladies and they're the best friends and your problem is that you're a leading lady But you act like you're the best friend. Yes, that's that's something that happens in the movie And she's like thank you and cries again. We wrote movies on typewriter

[01:04:50] And then like a waiter refills her breadsticks and she cries and hit you so much. I didn't even ask for more breadsticks Yeah This is like a great fucking setup as opposed to when we cut to LA and Cameradillas is like okay

[01:05:04] We're opposite on this movie right when we cut to LA. I'm like, all right now. We're cooking. This is insane This is an insane person. I buy zero percent of the Cameradillas half of the movie. I'm returning it That's the store

[01:05:18] This is so stressful now to disagree with both of you in different times I'm all in on on Winslet black David's all in on Law Diaz. I'm all out on the Winslet shit I especially I'm 100% out on Diaz. Bridget Jones, which is hardly a perfect movie

[01:05:35] But British people are funny. They are funny and rye and like sarcastic And you don't know this Nancy Myers is opinion of British people is literally just like oh Yeah, they're just like a bunch of polite doormats or jerks like that's yeah in her sense of humor

[01:05:54] Is so bad right and like I hate it from minute one It's the same shit that bothers me about like a lot of British rom-comy things But uh, at least they could be funny not funny. Where are the jokes Nancy? You can write jokes but

[01:06:10] Cameron this is where Nancy's just like oh, yeah noted maniacs from LA. Oh, yeah, no, I know what they're like Yeah, exactly cranks up to 11 the second she's What's going on her expensive pajamas Ed Burns is sleeping on the couch already

[01:06:23] He comes up and he's like we never have sex and we hate each other What do you think this relationship? Right which the setup is that they got in a fight where she accused him of sleeping with someone else in or whatever

[01:06:35] Denied it right they went okay. Let's pause this fight you go downstairs sleep on the couch eight hours later Let's wake up and continue the fight and media res right

[01:06:44] Correct Joe shoes at him. Well, you know like LA I've been to LA three times. This is how it is yeah out there I found Everyone They just start and stop arguments whenever they want it is a very accurate

[01:07:01] Realistic portrayal of people in LA in the sense that I watch this movie and every moment go right This is why I don't live there like it reminds me. Oh constant whipping winds

[01:07:12] It's so warm it's like oh because of the weird crazy wind that blows through here like a fucking right Oh, it wins only affect Kate Winslet. It's true. Well, she's English. She's never been warm in her life She takes off her park

[01:07:27] But don't you think this movie starts and she's like playing like a gene Hackman character like just I love it about everything Just screaming. She's the world's most successful trailer maker right even though her trailer blows chunks Hershey does it right so I have a question

[01:07:45] She's the head of the trailer for like what she's her company. She says she started it herself But it works out of her home only yeah All right, here's my big question and then Fran you clearly want to wait cuz most trailer companies are like ad agencies

[01:07:58] But I have an office. I know she's does it herself because she's so fucking good Krasinski does it no Krasinski's just you know She she directs he's the technician and and Katherine Haden as well I thought how much is sort of like her personal assistant, right?

[01:08:12] Do you think Krasinski just lives there? I kept wanting wins lit when she's in the home to like open a door and Christmas Jesus like oh don't mind me The same way that like Diaz is on the hook taking care of that dog. Yeah, exactly

[01:08:24] That's got to take care of Krasinski Don't you think it seems like he basically lives there Krasinski has a bowl House takes care of itself you do have to empty his bucket once a day, but like that's it like right Krasinski only eats dry food

[01:08:43] Han is a mix of wet and dry and you have to you know put a little Once a day, but it's a bigger poor Krasinski. It's three small portions just a handful or there's a scoop if

[01:08:56] Fran what did you want to say? Oh my question about Krasinski is do you think John Krasinski in the holiday is the Adam driver of Lincoln of 2006 Like a guy with a haircut from its sitcom who's just sort of like oh he's in this for one thing

[01:09:11] That's an incredible question. It's a great. I mean Indisputably, can you ask it once more slower? I genuinely just want to live in it Is John Krasinski in the holiday? The Adam driver of Lincoln of 2006 yes, I believe so. I think so too Okay, great 100% and

[01:09:34] What was I gonna say your Krasinski's there? Yeah, she kicks out Ed Burns who finally is like yeah I slept with my assistant who cares like this is the worst thing in the world

[01:09:45] Why wouldn't I sleep with my assistant and so that's the end of their relationship. She says a stripping she says stripping Yeah, do you think she learned that word that day? Yes Yeah, I think she might have run into Eli Wallach at some point

[01:09:57] He dispensed it while he was on one of his his walks. Okay my day we didn't 69 we 96 That's my current age by the way, you know 96 thing where you rub your butt cheeks against the other persons the back of their head Okay

[01:10:16] What I was gonna say is they also set up at this moment Cameron Diaz is the terminator Because he complains about the fact like well you think I want to be with you

[01:10:25] You're the only one who doesn't even cry during a breakup and she's like so what my promise that I haven't cried in two and a half decades Which I have a I have a little since the fire I have a little hot theory, okay

[01:10:39] I think this movie is in portions very much Nancy being inspired by Garden State Okay, because what because he can't cry in Garden State feels very ripped from Garden State

[01:10:51] Remember when all the faucets they the automatic faucets turn on they can cry but they yell at a ditch They do yell at a ditch in New Jersey. It's an iconic Jersey movie for that

[01:11:00] There's the scene of medieval times in the yellow ditch making it the most New Jersey film ever made this movie is two years after Garden State Which means she probably started writing it right after she saw Garden State

[01:11:09] Possibly remember she does take a while to make her movies Yeah, they do kind of make that the arc of like when's Cameron finally gonna break down and cry again Yeah, and the other thing is she uses the fucking Garden State song the scene

[01:11:21] Right which is the big end song when they see each other What are they not no what the fuck with that? What The one with image in he's no Image in Fru Fru that's what they were called. That's what that band was called. Yes, let go fucking

[01:11:46] Here's my take on the crying thing she just made a movie with an extended crying scene so she's like what if Instead of Santa crying no cry right there's the weird montage of Cameron Diaz getting angry at her laptop

[01:11:59] When she's trying to find a place to go on holiday, right? Which feels like her trying to replicate the Diane crying And there's an iconic I am ink scene just like in some things gotta get yeah

[01:12:10] We're like Jack Nicholson's like how you doing smiley face and motor cut except he reads it out So he's like colon parentheses Right yeah, he sends her the rhubarb emoji Don't rub Have you ever been the dancing lady with the devil emoji in the pale mood?

[01:12:34] Does that do you know that friend? Which part that people shouldn't Robin other man's rhubarb. I do know Do know so they're both miserable ladies going through It's Christmas a lonely time, but yeah, yeah and So it's a holiday in that sort of Christmas is a holiday

[01:12:56] But holiday is also what British people call vacation true that is something to consider when thinking about what you said How do you talk about holiday or how are your holidays? Yeah? Yeah, somebody to think about when you talk to rice of Lee about the movie

[01:13:08] Okay, I cure something. I Hate about this film. Hmm. Sorry Fran, but I think you might not disagree with the point. I'm about to make I Don't like that Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz have no relationship in this movie

[01:13:23] There's the one phone call towards the end where they do the bit with Winslet not knowing who she's on the line. It's iconic. I am mixing Yes, right and and then them at the end dancing together I

[01:13:37] Feel like it makes the two halves of the movie so really disconnected Well, but I think you're right And you kind of want to see them have some sort of relationship Even if it's regular check-ins over the phone being like what's going on on your end

[01:13:47] Because the thing that's kind of fun is that they swap lives and I was watching this and I was like God, I feel like there are other movies that work well where the people have swapped lives But it works because they know each other

[01:13:59] Improved if she's like I really need to go somewhere. What if I call my old pal from college? I have an even better pitch. I have an even better but I was like what well

[01:14:08] What am I thinking of there's like another movie where someone does this and they like swap lives? I was like, oh, it's the parent trap This is like a shittier adult version of the parent trap

[01:14:17] Okay, I just feel like there we talked about this in the parent episode But I love that the first 30 minutes that movie are the two of them together Neutral zone at the camp and then they like prep each other for what each other's lives are like

[01:14:29] And then the first time you see each of their lives It's through the eyes of someone seeing it for the first time Okay

[01:14:34] But how does that work in this movie because I think it's kind of ruined the swap by the fact that you know what their two lives are like So when they get there, you're like, okay. Yeah, I know Cameron Diaz isn't gonna like this

[01:14:44] Oh, but there's yeah, but then you would she wouldn't they know that Jude was daddy Yeah, she doesn't know Jude today. I well by the time they talk on the phone

[01:14:53] It's sort of like oh, I wish they talked on the phone before and I she knows that you just dirty Can I tell you my pitch? This is my pitch the movie starts with them stuck at an airport Okay, we've all been there some sort of long layover

[01:15:06] Long layover some midpoint some neutral zone where they're both trying to get flights back to their homes, right? Oh, and they're sitting at the bar talking at the airport bar. They start commiserating together

[01:15:17] This is like the first 10 minutes of the movie. Yeah about how miserable they are in their lives Their breakups. They just went through a stressed out. They are at their jobs They're just like fuck it you get on my plane. I'll get on your plane, right? Yeah, right

[01:15:28] I mean whatever and it's like you board you land in this other place where you have no notion of what life you're about to answer Because you this movie needs the sort of developing surprises that like bubble up such as like Jude Law's daddy

[01:15:39] Right the bath is small right and then on Cameron Diaz's end like she has curtains That's a huge twist but those surprises are like fully surprises to us the audience as well But also it's like you watch these two lives and you're like, okay

[01:15:53] These are two Nancy Meyers lives and then they switch places and Cameron Diaz hates everything and Kate Winslet loves everything And like that Ellie mansion is very garish to me. Oh, it's fine

[01:16:04] I'd happily it was let's cottage there for the most charming romantic comedy movie set of all time and like Cameron Diaz acts like she's living in a coal mine Can I I'll alright well I'm gonna argue with you again, okay? Because

[01:16:21] Cameron Diaz's mansion. Yes, perhaps not to my taste if I were to own a mansion Yeah, but if I were it's like a hotel like if I would be like oh, it's got everything perfect Big bed curtain screening Santa Anna wins right?

[01:16:33] I love the idea of going to LA and just only watching movies in your home. Yeah Punch drunk love she's got the largest eve click. She's got punch drunk love only only Sony movies

[01:16:43] The thing I love is that Sony movies always every character in a Sony movie has a viral laptop Right, right and owns a bunch of Sony product. I have that synergy, right? Where is cases like identity?

[01:16:55] Yeah anger management. It's like Sony movies are the first five years of the 2000s And then yeah, you know where Kate Winslet is is Quaint yes and beautiful so idyllic and movie style having the Tub small in England On holiday, thank you Whatever you want to tell yourself

[01:17:16] Those places are so fucking stressful Because of the things like some of the jokes she makes like those fucking roads that are so tiny and Like yeah, the lack of amenities I get that and everyone in everything in England is designed for like tiny people

[01:17:31] I get that but this is an area in which I think Nancy's aesthetic sensibilities hurt her Because she doesn't want to put anything on screen that isn't beautiful So even if the joke is supposed to be this house is inconvenient It looks small right it looks too nice

[01:17:46] Yeah, like it's so perfectly art directed and also I mean if I can actually you wanted me to weigh in it I mean it's it's set in Surrey. It's in Goldeming like or

[01:17:55] Godlaming I could Dalming I can never pronounce the name of the town number go on yeah This is like one of the richest towns in Britain There is no way that either of them could live there. I assume family money like that has to be the

[01:18:08] Telegraph lives in a mansion. Yeah, no fucking way How far is she from London? It would be an hour's train ride to like Waterloo I mean it would be like a doable Yeah, she has a mini Cooper right she maybe drives that would be a pain

[01:18:24] But like she certainly has to drive down her like 14 mile fucking you know road to the shire that you have to go down every time just to get to her She's maybe so depressed and lonely because she lives so far away from any other person

[01:18:36] I never can meet anyone because I live in Mordor like for someone who works in the city at a big paper Yeah, it's weird that she lives in someone's like weekend home She lives in what is sort of dressed up as a weekend home right right

[01:18:49] Like you probably if you I mean her whole lifestyle is designed around how nice it is to be alone And then she's like I'm so sad alone. Yeah, and she tries let's talk about it to Sylvia Plath herself 20 minutes into the movie

[01:19:04] And David this is a great dark at this point Talking about Kate Winslet's attempted suicide by oven. Yeah, this is a great point to transition to a regular feature

[01:19:15] We do during this mini series in which we cut to my sister Romley Newman to report on the kitchens of Nancy Myers movies Here piggybacking off of a suicide attempt is Romley Newman's kitchen corner Welcome to Romley's kitchen corner

[01:19:29] And here is your host miss Romley Newman in her kitchen Hi, I'm reporting from a kitchen and today I'm gonna talk about two kitchens the first of which is Cameron Diaz's

[01:19:41] Which is exactly what I hate in a kitchen, but I think is so amazing and I love it and I want to live there and cook in it It's very LA modern very sleek. You have that slate countertop. It's huge

[01:19:55] I mean it's an ungodly size for a kitchen, but it's really nice and It looks kind of straight out of the restoration hardware catalog. It has these dark tiled floors huge table in the middle that's light wood and A lot of black cabinets and a lot of light

[01:20:14] But it's I would love I would love to cook in that kitchen and then I give Nancy credit for Kate Winslet's kitchen because it's fairly realistic and I'm proud of her for not sticking in like an incredibly fancy stove or a subzero refrigerator

[01:20:31] Into a Surrey kitchen because that just wouldn't happen. Is that her best kitchen? Absolutely not But is it a charming kitchen? Yes Thank you, Romley. Very good all her appliances are way too nice

[01:20:44] Like when Cameron Diaz is like fumbling and frustrated with the coffee machine. You're like that's a $250 well also Why does a rich LA person not know how to use like a coffee machine?

[01:20:58] Krasinski he does it all. Oh sure. He makes the coffee too. Maybe hon does the coffee. She's on coffee She's got a head man on so you know, she's serious. It's true. Hon is so good I'll tell you like watching this movie not in this she

[01:21:11] In general yeah, but watching this movie I get frustrated that like Nancy Myers roll slowed down Yeah, cuz she could make a hon movie now maybe but she loves to work on movies

[01:21:22] It feels like she should have gone to make a hon movie feels like she definitely should have gotten to make a Krasinski movie Like it feels like Krasinski was probably next in line A bigger role in which of course he is absolutely

[01:21:35] Devastatingly good and we'll talk about it. It is comic relief You want him to be a romantic lead in one of these movies or at least a romantic Prospect right and instead he became the director of a horror film in Jack Ryan

[01:21:47] Right, but he had his couple of like he did the big miracle which Drew Barrymore and he did What should we call it something a borrow? He's the friend in that too. He's the comedy right

[01:21:57] But he signed on for that because the sequel he was supposed to be there man to clean Like it felt like John Krasinski never got the big rom-com that everyone wanted him to get is the rom-com just died

[01:22:05] Right, so it's so frustrating to watch this and being like we were so close to her probably knowing how to do it Right anyway, K1's it tries to suicide herself with an oven

[01:22:14] I just interrupted by a phone call and then it's like what am I thinking terrible? Gosley yes, she's interrupted by an IM right yeah, yeah She's interrupted by like Hagrid coming to tell she's a wizard or whatever the fuck because she's had a listing up Five comedy points

[01:22:30] She's had a listing of tricks hollow online to try to rent her house for a long time right and no one's been like Oh, let me live in this like this is fabulous like this is a great getaway and Cameron Diaz is like What's up?

[01:22:44] Yeah, can I stay in your house? It's a house swap cool when can you leave right now? Sap are there any men though? No, and then it's like exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point They hate men they hate men friend

[01:22:58] You want to weigh in on men who among us has not tried to take a vacation to get away from men Yeah, no, that's why I'm going to theme of scara this Christmas, right Mm-hmm. I'll joke about the 2017 picture Wonder Woman say yeah theme of scara land of

[01:23:18] Amazonian women so you think Nancy could work with gal That's see watching these movies don't you get frustrated going like who are all the big movie stars that Nancy didn't get to work with

[01:23:28] Or isn't getting to work with now like wouldn't you love to see a gal and Krasinski rom-com come on Fran? Nancy should work with Chris pine This like brewing thought now is like this this is gonna be good. Yeah, I know she'd be so good with him

[01:23:44] Yeah, honestly, she'd probably be good with any of the Chris's give her a Chris I think I say this in our next episode. Maybe she would find me Pratt maybe old Pratt Old Pratt like former

[01:23:58] It wasn't guardians of the galaxy we only had to guard the solar system Sorry, I think I say this in the its and my day we had MCU phase one today We have MCU phrase three phrase three And my day an MCU phase was only five pictures

[01:24:19] Now it's 12 pictures Okay, what I was gonna say is I think I say this in our it's complicated episode But it feels like Jennifer Lawrence is someone who really needs a Nancy Meyers movie sure I mean, I feel like she needs something a little lighter

[01:24:36] She needs like on my best friend's wedding and something maybe where she plays someone who is her age Right not like my best friend's wedding kind of saved you This is when she first bought she went straight from the Bill Engvall show to playing Eli Waller

[01:24:52] Yeah, it was her first Oscar play didn't work out. No, it didn't worry. Yeah Um and Nancy Meyers did direct Wintersbone. We should point that out. Yes, she did. Yeah, what if she had All the beautiful kitchen sparkling light

[01:25:13] Yeah, so they swap houses come on let's get back to the plot of the holiday Yeah, so they've swapped houses and now Kate Winslet is overjoyed and camera DS is miserable, right?

[01:25:21] Cameron tries to read one book for five minutes, right instead drinks like four bottles of wine gets shit-faced Can we just get drunk a lot in this movie? We don't really see it. It's like referred to yeah, right?

[01:25:32] Like she there's a scene that's not in this film where she gets like black out like yeah, right? And like they kind of talk around like what a night During that moment she's so horrified that her bra is on a chair

[01:25:45] It's like it's her own bra and she's literally already had sex with them. Yeah, it's not like that reaction is so crazy She's like my bra gasp This movie also does this weird thing okay, so she's there drunk miserable planning to fly home the next morning

[01:25:58] Yeah, she hates it so much that she books a return flight right She tries driving to town and can't deal with the road She's on the wrong side hated that she had to walk all that way because the guy dropped her off

[01:26:08] Of course in Salado. She's got a big bag right yeah, this all feels like new in town bullshit where it's like you mean the renaissance Yes Where it's like this fancy lady isn't used to living in such a po-dunk little town sure but once again

[01:26:23] It's all so like a dillic. It's like snow whites like cottage like it's like it also just again the most Obvious complaint it never snows that much in England in the South of England ever which this movie has I just

[01:26:35] I mean lots of movies it love actually pulls that you know lots of English movies This movie as I think I maybe hinted at in other episodes. Yeah had a 20 million dollar CGI budget

[01:26:46] Because they see you had all the snow right because it would be impossible because they shot location they shot it in one of those little I think it was Godalming however you fucking say it but you know what exists fake snow

[01:26:58] But I mean they have to coat like whole like towns in the fucking white Christmas Look at the history of movies with snow. Those are soundstage movies Like I'm assuming the town was like yeah, you're not dumping snow all over this town for a week Nancy

[01:27:14] Like we're letting you film here, but like this way had 20 million our CGI budget. I'm right million was the snow Yeah, what was it 10 million? Do you know the other 10 million was digital touch-ups on the actors faces?

[01:27:24] Wow, which at the time was they extended Eli walks earlobes by Droopier At the time that was seen as insane and now like every movie does that yeah Just make them hot. Yes Everyone looks a little Plastic yeah, yeah a little burnished

[01:27:44] Like they've just had a spit shine They do look a little funny especially Cameron and Jude Right because in LA you just kind of assume people look like that maybe maybe that's why yeah Like they're all already in their weird like plastic house right. Oh

[01:28:01] But Jude law comes over blackout. Yeah, let's do the Diaz part first We don't have to switch between just say that he shows up while she's listening to mr. Brightside Just she rocks out to the killers right singing very badly to herself

[01:28:13] This is another Nancy Myers movie where she get it has like a soundtrack where she's just like what are the hits Because like something's got to give begins with butterfly as we've talked about which is crazy. Yeah, I don't disagree

[01:28:25] Yeah, because that song was like four years old at that point. Yeah, the weirdest part But anyway, yeah, she rocks up to the killers. I feel like there's another hot Yeah, yeah, she plays hot in here, right? There's a Jets. Oh

[01:28:37] That's what it is. It's that was it called Yeah, Jack yeah Jude law shows up shit-faced I guess He's like Griffin after one Mike's hard lemonade hey look I hold my mics I hold my mics well When I get hard I stay hard Oh

[01:29:05] Keep it in and double it That's a masterpiece what I was gonna say is you know she law shows up blackout drunk. Yeah, so drunk Am I so drunk that I think you're my sister? Sure?

[01:29:20] She's like no your sister left and didn't tell anybody he did say he says she tried to call She tried to call and he ignored the call okay a minute later. They fuck Okay, they chat for a while. They have a pretty deranged conversation That's insane

[01:29:41] They talk on the couch she does this I mean This comes up in other Nancy movies and in rom-coms in general, but Cameron does my favorite delivery of Romantically just stating the circumstances of what's happening

[01:29:54] Where she's just like okay, so I'm in this house temporarily and you show up out of nowhere And I'm like I know Sure, they do a lot of procedural recapping. This is my hot take on this movie

[01:30:05] Is that Cameron Diaz is essentially written as one of the what women want characters except all her internal monologue stuff is set out loud The whole scene where she's trying to figure out where she's gonna holiday. She's like I got it holiday

[01:30:18] Let me look for that no too far too close Like she keeps on saying everything out loud that she's searching for on the computer Well at all tracks because her character in this film is a psycho There's also a movie trailer editor

[01:30:31] Starts having nightmare fantasy sequences where she's a trailer and how Douglas I feel like that would be a regular part of her life at this point His voice would just have like intercepted into her brain, right?

[01:30:41] But um, she yeah basically says to Jude Law like yeah, I'm horrible and bad. Do you want to fuck? Yeah, oh, she says she uh that four play is Overrated which is a line that I heard as a 15 year old not fully understanding that this character is insane

[01:30:57] And also like that's meant as a joke. I'm like, okay. She's hot and four plays Okay, so four play sucks. I'm gonna keep this in mind for when I'm less busy with extracurriculars and finally having sex

[01:31:07] Um, and I really think that line damaged me for five to six years So interesting two statements. She says so close to each other that are totally unrelated

[01:31:17] One is that four play is dramatically overrated the other one is that all of her exes say that she's bad at sex if there's any I mean, I'm just trying to figure out. Anyway, Jude is just like you're so interesting. Yeah, Jude's like, well, what's going on?

[01:31:33] But what we don't know but we'll find out is essentially like this is Jude's weekend away from the kids His one weekend to cut loose. So he's basically like look This is fine. You're not my sister great. Let's smash in his sister's bed. I assume

[01:31:49] Or the couch? Maybe I don't know. Yeah There's a later scene in the bed, right? Uh, they messed up Okay, maybe not this feels kind of kind of bone in her bed. This feels like Nancy's idea was friend didn't like

[01:32:06] Uh, sorry, what it went this whole half of the movie feels to me like Nancy's big idea was What if I do a rom-com relationship in reverse?

[01:32:13] Where they fuck the first time they meet and then like it builds up to them having the intimacy to like have a conversation and hold hands Uh, and you know Cameron's problem is that whatever she's insane and Jude's problem is like, yeah

[01:32:26] He's probably like he is daddy. He's daddy his wife died. So he hasn't had time to like Be with adults like it's cookbooks for goodness. He sews and he has a cow Jesus christ

[01:32:38] Uh, yeah, he has two children who are clearly competent enough to run a business together Like I don't think Jude really needs to be there at all. They're fine Like right? He feels almost entirely superfluous. He's bringing napkin head But that's about it

[01:32:52] He doesn't want her to know that he has kids because he doesn't feel like the two halves of his life are compatible And it's a package deal So he spends the first half of the movie being weird when girls text him

[01:33:04] Which is supposed to be a red herring that maybe he has Yeah, because both of the names Olivia and Sophie right and she and she's like, oh, I'm sorry I looked both times at his cell phone

[01:33:14] Right because it was back in the day where your cell phone would have that little window that just would put like a name It keeps on walking away from conversations to have phone calls And then you find out no. He's daddy. He's daddy

[01:33:25] She's staying she cancels her flights before the daddy they go on that weird date. They go on their lunch Where she's essentially like what's your deal? What the fuck where'd you go to college? Where'd you go to high school?

[01:33:36] He's so sweet during it. They have such nice chemistry in that scene. I really do think I would agree with that. I think jude is doing a little more than her in terms of bringing the chemistry like yeah

[01:33:46] Or bringing it to normal levels. Well, he's pointing out that she's a psychopath You know, he's like you're really interrogating me in a way that's nice. Yeah, he's like i'm nervous

[01:33:56] Yeah, right, right, right. It's very he's so good in this because like he's going like i'm a book editor I studied literature in college and she's like cool. I come from alpha seven

[01:34:05] I was born in a crater on my planet the ritual is you have to fight the granuki beast for dominance Yeah, i'm an alien robot She feels like an alien impersonating a human being in this movie. Yeah. Yeah

[01:34:19] Now there's some kind of liminar aliens. Yes. She drives to his house unannounced Well, yeah, she drops by before that we get her her sort of background, which is that her parents divorced sure

[01:34:29] Which is always a divorce in an antsy movie. Yeah, and this damaged her forever the last time she ever cried Yeah, she thought they were the three musketeers You know ben yes griffin i've been i'm in the middle moving

[01:34:42] Sure, i'm part of a move that's uh taken 17 years It feels like this has been the most drawn out extended move of my life. You just moved I did here's the thing i find when i move

[01:34:52] All this stuff why why don't i have all this stuff and it's because i want to hold on to my memories Sure, but they're heavy. They take up space. They're burdensome

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[01:38:51] Wow, that was the most epic crossover event in history. Oh god That's incredible. I god I don't even I mean I guess we gotta go back to talk at the holiday, but it feels like the whole world has changed now

[01:39:03] Let's let's talk about the k-winslet. Okay. I mean we talked about some of it. You're calling your shot there I'm not calling my shot. I'm saying what just happened live on like Okay Iris who is I already told Fran this at our screening of venom. Um

[01:39:18] Humble brack. He's rude Nape venom is got a rude dude. Oh boy that venom. Is he a little stinker? Just as a native midwesterner, I felt a little sort of like put off by his attitude interesting Uh bad attitude no iris in this movie chain wallet

[01:39:38] Exactly. Yeah, venom is basically poochy Uh, so uh does venom have like a bunch of scenes where he like corners a woman at a bar and yells at her about communism could have worked Yeah, venom really rants about bernie a lot in this movie. It's weird

[01:39:58] Venom's a bernie bro. Yeah I mean tom hardy's character actually is kind of a bernie bro. Yeah He's like, uh homeless is problem in america. Like that's like sort of his deal I'm asking tough questions like why are homeless people? I don't know

[01:40:15] Venom is tom hardy because you've seen venom and i'm fucking insane You're living in a post venom world and i'm living in a pre-venom world Is tom hardy gonna win my blankie this year?

[01:40:24] He might make the list. I don't think he's gonna win. You never know with me though. It's a it's a magnetic performance That's all i'll say. I want you to see it. It's very you might hate it I just think i'm gonna love that performance. It's it's

[01:40:37] My thing watching that movie is like, I can't say this is a bad performance because I am so I want more of it I'm so entertained. That's usually my favorite kind of performance

[01:40:45] You know like even if like maybe if you were like but a person would never behave this way and under any circumstances I don't care how crazy the movie is you're like, yeah, but uh, I just want to see him do it like you know, I don't care

[01:40:57] Like give me that this is this has been spoiled for me Okay, uh, but by the time this episode comes out weeks ago. Yeah, I've heard about the big set piece in the movie

[01:41:09] So is the 15 minute sequence where venom plays hacky sack and the quad as epic as I Imagine CGI's a little squishy, but okay They flubber the hacky sack Uh

[01:41:22] I'm just a little frustrated they're saving ultimate frisbee for the c-equal because it feels like that's where venom's really gonna pop Uh, I actually can't wait to see venom too. Like whatever it is. I guess I'll see it also

[01:41:32] Damn right you're coming with me. Um, so iris named after jude law's daughter Weird is that nice? The grown up woman in this movie doesn't matter weird. Okay. Well for me, it's nice iris and olivia No iris is k winslet right oh olivia and sophie

[01:41:48] Iris the grown up is named after jude law's real daughter iris law Oh that I didn't understand what you were saying. That's fucking weird. I know well fran thinks it's nice Do you think that was like a contractual obligation jude law was like I will sign on

[01:42:02] Thank you. Nancy just had them make like lists of 10 of girls names I'll throw out improvix something kind of nice and easter egg for the future uh, peter uh

[01:42:11] Serfina which named two characters after his children on the tick this season. Oh really like big characters or little characters Uh, they are like characters who will be special effects Okay

[01:42:25] So sort of like a thing one and thing two situation so he could kind of like say whatever he wanted right interesting Um, but it's really nice because there's like a group of creatures in the season Cool, and he named two of the creatures after his

[01:42:38] Kids and then constantly would refer back to them. I love creatures which like that makes sense if it's like I'm an actor I'm gonna do a little tribute to my kids right whereas like k winslet is a creature

[01:42:49] Right, and they're like yeah, you're just named after jude law's kids Even though you don't really have scenes with jude law until the very end of the movie um, so k winslet

[01:43:00] Is in la what she loves the curtains loves those blackout curtains with a button watch his punch drunk love swims laps swims Jack black comes by to pick up some stuff ed burns his stuff

[01:43:14] Right. Shana sassmann's in the car with him. Yes, he gets an eyelash off her face because the winds talks about the centa and a wins with her Uh, it's so fucking charming. Absolutely not the worst So good. So sweet such a sweetie pie cutie patootie

[01:43:31] Um, that's the thing he's like Like shudderingly nice where i'm like, oh my god, you fucking I think like Loser the only character in the movie seems like a real human being. I totally disagree Um, is the implication that ed burns is also a composer

[01:43:46] Uh, I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I took. I guess that's how they met I don't know or that they have composed together or something. Yeah, so I have like a big

[01:43:55] Grip I strongly dislike movies in which the characters work in the film industry that aren't about the film industry Because it always strikes me as a lack of creativity of like, I'm just gonna write like what all my friends do

[01:44:09] Like the movie doesn't have anything to say about the film industry Whoa, Jack black talks about movie scores for 25 minutes and you know that he's an expert Anya mother cony e.i. Wallach does tell us a lot about the film industry He does

[01:44:24] Opening weekend. Yeah. Yeah, even though he makes some very very salient points that literally any five-year-old You stopped on the street would be able to make movies are long Sometimes movies are too loud

[01:44:42] No, and the jack black character they're like this guy's such an expert on film scores. Oh my god. He's such a connoisseur likes anya marconi He likes the jaws theme the sound of the connoisseur the mission That's the one weird pick everything else I have to do

[01:44:55] And great great score. That's anya marconi again. Oh, yeah Stupid Right, shut up fran shut up. Oh my god. Wait fran is being taken over by a symbiote Food It's franum is now in the studio the lead of my review which has now been published and if

[01:45:14] This is not the leader of my review It was my editor was like get this the fuck out of your lead Is that venom's first word in the movie is food? That's how he's intruding in the midwest we would say food, please No, not that of food now

[01:45:29] Uh, yep, go ahead. Sorry iris she swims she meets jack black. He's an absolute creep turd burglar He feels like someone who's like Yeah, it's like nancy's like this is what normal people are like, right? I guess but except he won't shut the fuck up about scores

[01:45:47] And say squeedily He loves the macaroons. He says in his little crazy jack black way where he goes macaroons I think his Arthur theme is stand-up It's only the good notes for iris. Oh, yeah, I like his arthur theme

[01:46:06] I want him to say what the good notes are uh sure d You know, I'm gonna be a right a right a plus. Yeah, okay. Okay. Sure. Yeah. No, you're the classical fran here Come on way in what's the best note? Uh, I'm sure

[01:46:19] Damn, damn. I've sure see I I made a good one. Okay. Um jack black Yeah, but he's not in the movie much to be clear I certainly until right at the end he has a girlfriend until one minute one hour and 40 minutes into the movie

[01:46:33] So most of the first junk of iris is that rather than like I don't know go to fucking The tar pits or something she just stays in the house basically And uh

[01:46:44] In a car cz. Lai wallach on the side of the right who and he lives in like the you know the sag museum or something Do you think when she sees the oscar at his house she gets the idea to be in the reader? Right?

[01:46:58] Yeah, he's got an oscar on a mantle and she just like talks to him about the movies and uh Like right and she's like here's your male and he's like, ah six more lifetime achievement award I don't want any of that. Oh, shit

[01:47:11] Now a lot of movies like this it's like this fucking industry. They're full of liars. I don't care I've been burned by them. I don't want to get in the war literally when I was watching it this time

[01:47:20] Had conflated the studio 60 thing. I had that too. Yeah, it's gonna turn out that he was like a blacklisted writer No, the reason I always remember it Yes, yeah

[01:47:27] The reason why he keeps on turning down these tributes is because he doesn't want to walk to accept the award Yeah, he struggles with stairs and I mean he thinks that like not a lot of people will come

[01:47:38] I guess he thinks an old a washed up old phony like me like who cares only shelly berm and I'll be there talking about asses But he's the only He is David just to give credit where credit's due

[01:47:50] He's the man who wrote the kid in here's looking at you kid Right. That was a that was a note by me and then they I tweeted it at joe manquits or whatever They gave me the oscar for that for the kid best supporting kid I

[01:48:05] Forgot about that line that line Is annoying he's a legend. I mean he wrote the kid Do you think it's weird that a vows writer doesn't know the phrase meet cute? Uh, yes, but in england that is not a phrase. So I guess that's the defense

[01:48:19] Just something I wrote down It's a weird thing for him to say because it's mostly a rom-com thing to be like this is all meet cute Yeah, I I don't mind it for some reason the ili wallach stuff is actually to easiest to take for me

[01:48:31] I think because he's good. He's a good actor, but I just find like his performances He offers the most surface level analysis of how rom comes are written And every time she treats it like it's like sydhartha coming back And she's like unbelievable

[01:48:45] So you're saying that two people meet in romantic comedies and like each other been in therapy for 74 years And that's the first time anyone has said something that's true with me Therapist fucking sucks terrible therapy

[01:48:58] Um, oh, I want to switch back because actually my favorite line in the movie and possibly my favorite nancy meyers line ever is said by jude law Is that i'm a major weeper That's maybe one of mine definitely something

[01:49:13] No, it's when he I think when he asks her out to go to lunch And she's like why and he says because I i'm running out of reasons why we shouldn't Which I think is like such a perfect rom-com line so

[01:49:24] Nancy meyers and is so so fits like what's happening with them where it's like well, we keep Liking each other in these conversations. We have like why shouldn't we go on a date? I love that line

[01:49:36] Right the idea is that like okay kids away for the weekend both of them just viewed this as like is a fling A fling and like keep on not being able to get closer a quick smash If you have time to keep having sex why not keep

[01:49:48] That don't know they're always like not justifying it Yeah, I know they should just only have sex how long is the holiday in this movie 10 days? Yeah. Yeah, maybe two weeks tops Because he he says these last couple of weeks at some point

[01:50:00] There's also the very weird thing where first night they meet they fuck Second night she gets blackout drunk. He doesn't sleep with women who are unconscious She loves that about him. Good line. He sleeps on the couch humble brag

[01:50:14] Right, yeah, then on there and she like leaves her bra on a chair Right, so I mean obviously he reports that to the local vicar on their Uh-huh I'm gonna tell this story. Oh, what what's the story? Do you leave your bra on a chair? No, no, no

[01:50:31] I'm just I I'm removing all names from it. I have a friend who uh, uh like Uh Had like a one night stand with someone she worked with as sort of like a supervisor position, right?

[01:50:45] And he was like an awkward guy and she was like, is this gonna be really weird in the office now that we've slept together And we have to work together and we're obviously not gonna date and he's not a guy who's very comfortable to begin with

[01:50:55] Uh-huh and he like called her into his office and she was like, what's this gonna be? And he like very like methodically like went to his filing cabinet And pulled it open and took out a manila envelope and she was like, what's this?

[01:51:09] She opened it and it was Her bra that she had left at his place. Oh my god And he only knew how to deal with it as like a supervisor where it's like, um, here's your new assignment

[01:51:20] But I just love the image of like a boss opening up a filing cabinet handing over a Label bras. Yeah, right. And then it was just very awkwardly like here's your bra on a business folder F and here it is March 14th. Okay. Here we go

[01:51:35] Um, the thing I was gonna say because I just was becoming obsessed with this story in the movie first night Fuck second night. She's blackout, right? He sleeps downstairs on the couch I believe is the implication Then on their first proper date

[01:51:49] In the first proper date, he says we've already slept together twice So he said we we've had sex once we've slept together twice. That's what he says later in the movie Oh, so at first he just says we've slept together twice and I go like wait, so they

[01:52:02] Maybe he's just in the bed with her and then he sets up the third time We slept together twice and fucked once he doesn't say fucked. He said we had sex once right

[01:52:11] So he's counting like the fact that they slept under the same roof when she was passed out as slept together Which is an odd thing to say, right? Yeah Uh, I don't know. I guess so but I think the implication right maybe he slept next to her

[01:52:25] Right. Yeah, that's just what I assumed. It's more that she blushed. She's like, oh my god. I'm I'm unbelievable Right. She does that a lot. Yeah Very apologetic Oh, and then he also says the thing like whoever your ex was he was an idiot

[01:52:38] I couldn't disagree with him more strongly right very gentlemanly right sex is fine. Yeah, I don't know Why is she good at sex again? Or are we are we to believe that she was never bad in the first place? That's sort of what Nancy leaves unresolved

[01:52:52] I think people just are not allowed to have bad sex in an anti-myers movie Like that's just not allowed I think the idea is that she's like that doesn't have emotions and she hates foreplay like it was probably the most

[01:53:03] Maybe he like gently was like we could try a little for She was like, okay. I mean, I guess so I think it's overrated Um, but like back in hollywood like she starts spending all this time with you I wallow trying to teach him how to walk again

[01:53:17] But also like going out on dinner dates with him Yeah, she fucking is basically a physical therapist. Is it she's supposed to be on vacation? Meanwhile rufus sewell is Tormenting her to read pages of his book

[01:53:29] So violent she sends a no fucking blackberry message being like please leave me alone and he calls her. He's like oops Guess I rang you And then right he sends the notes and he shows up, I don't know which is

[01:53:47] I want him to like have a little box and then there's like a condom inside or something like it's like the worst gesture possible He like shows up on like christmas eve. I know

[01:53:55] No, no, no, no. He's like abandoned his fiance. He's awful. It's so much more fun to hate him Than any of the ones in love actually I think also Yeah, I mean right. I mean he has I mean, I mean, oh, he sucks

[01:54:10] He's he is as I said when watching it a shit the english would call him He's a shit But this whole point of time jack black like shows up for like 30 second stretches occasionally be like, uh, here's your fedex Flu-b-du-du-p

[01:54:23] And to celebrate hanukkah right he celebrates hanukkah with They have a nice dinner Yeah, uh with the old jews and he's like that was great Then shannon sassman calls him and is like well from blockbuster

[01:54:37] Right. Oh no, no, no. He gets the call from her. She's in she's in that's when he's set up at the dinner She's possibly in new mexico filming an indy movie. I had got no idea where she's with me She's in new mexico working on a little indy

[01:54:50] It's a normal character Uh-huh, and then yes, she turns out she's been cheating on him and then right they go to blockbuster And that's where dustin hoffman he calls her up and says hey Can we do the thing that normal people do on us?

[01:55:05] You know christmas eve night, which is go to blockbuster and just riff on the movie boxes Riff on the scores of the movies in the movie box. You know this story about the dustin hoffman Yeah, he was just going to blockbusters like literally walking down the street

[01:55:19] And they were like can you come in and do one shot? Is that true? Yes, he saw all the lights and was like He's terrific And right so you know jack blacks in the middle of one of his manic episodes where he's like the graduate

[01:55:37] Oh, uh, mrs. Robinson And uh Sees him and weirdly does not kill him execution style Could you imagine being any other customer at the blockbuster while this is going on and being like god

[01:55:57] Does this guy think he's that funny? I need to leave. He's like projecting like very loudly Scatting entertaining this scanning the chariot of fire That's the other one right Hans and then right he's like then tell us change the game. Yeah, he does the driving mistakes

[01:56:17] That's his hawns theme, but he has other thing was he said like a big departure for hawns But that was before hawns That was what people thought hawns was when he did like brave heart and shit people were like, oh, this is a big departure

[01:56:30] Okay, but when he started doing like that, yes, that was really the one that changed. Well one of them Yeah, there's only his only oscar very strange Uh, maybe I think this is normal behavior. What do you think he would win for this year?

[01:56:42] I'm making it up. I've no idea. Does he even have anything this year? He must have something Um, he did like the boss baby and he'll he'll do shit like that where you're like, oh, right small foot Did you do small foot? Maybe yeah um

[01:56:57] But so they're just like hanging it out together sometimes because he apparently has no other friends in la just by the fact That he lives there and his friends with ed burns. I know and ed burns doesn't pop back up

[01:57:05] You'd think ed burns would be like hanging out with you right? Yeah, yeah, and jack block would be like Yeah, your ex-girlfriend is insane right see shannon saw some and realizes she was only filming for two days

[01:57:16] She looked up the weather the widow's score this year. Okay, that's it. Okay Looked at the weather she looked up the weather on weather dot com in order to be able to lie

[01:57:24] Accurately this script does contain the phrase weather dot com. Yeah, I said I had extra present all the way to new mexico I know someone who's done this who's done a location lie not in a relationship

[01:57:35] But like a location lie that included looking up the forecast to be like, right? Yeah I'm doing a lot of stories where i'm not saying people's names but I have a friend who was dating someone like casually they'd gone on a couple dates and uh, she

[01:57:49] Let everyone believe that she died in the tsunami in like 2004 Okay dark and then like he ran into her and she was like, yeah, I kind of just needed like a fresh start I'm sorry. I never called you back Great um Then I don't know jack black

[01:58:07] What the fuck they don't even what I mean should we talk about should we go back to camera? We should talk about I am daddy. Yeah, he is daddy because that's also christmas eve. I know all right. He's daddy He's daddy. Yeah, he puts on the napkin head

[01:58:19] It's camera in this movie like no one has christmas eve plans like especially like a father to two young children It's got a bunch of presents under the tree but like in england christmas is very depressing

[01:58:29] It's a terrible terrible time. You have no idea what you're talking about Up because everything's closed and everyone goes to their families like you know like there's no so like if you're alone on christmas in england

[01:58:40] It's brutal. What about father christmas? Well, you know, he's spread a little thin but sure he's around Yeah, and he's got two young girls. He'd want to make it special for them You know, I mean the reveal of this movie basically it's like, you know chewed law that

[01:58:53] Super handsome nice man you've been having sex with it turns out he's great Like that's sort of like the twist of the movie where he's like he's even better than before

[01:59:01] Yeah, he's perfect. Yeah, he's got two little daughters who are so sweet and bossy because he's so nice to them The kids are so cute and they're never they never did anything again They're just perfect cherubs that like

[01:59:11] Oh when the little one says when they invite her to the tent and she's like, I don't think I should go to tents and she's like You don't like tents. Oh

[01:59:18] I love it. It's a big tent. I feel like they got a big tent. Yeah small british children, especially small british child actors Always say things in the same meter which I find like unbearably heart breaking Which is like daddy don't you want to decorate the tree?

[01:59:36] You know, it's always like You can't access the umbrella computers like right there the weird creepy children. Yes. Yeah Um, they're really cute. They love mr napkin head. Mr napkin head's pretty cool He's a really good bit he puts glasses on over napkin

[01:59:55] Over napkin over his face. He makes a mouth. He does that's that's that's what really the cherry on top And he smokes or he's cool Yeah, and then says smoking is not cool to his daughters, but we know as adult viewers that smoking is cool

[02:00:09] True. He keeps the napkin on his face for a full two minutes Yep Which you keep it over a full hour too hard. I I turned to my she's never felt joy before

[02:00:19] I turned to my girlfriend holo back. I'm a brag and you said wrong. So I won that Said you said it sounded like you said holo brag like you were bragging about a particularly good deli bread Yeah

[02:00:32] I turned to her and I said, oh, I forgot to tell you this is the remaining 45 minutes of the movie It's just him doing an hbo comedy specialist mr. Napkin head. Sure Let's give it five. Did she give you five comedy points? Is she that sure? Yeah

[02:00:44] Well, I I owed her five comedy points or something else to now where you've been um But but yeah, then he like, you know, she's like why didn't you tell me and about the napkin head Right, right, right and he's like

[02:00:58] You know, it's proprietary. I'm so shopping at a Meetings, right? Yeah. I want to brothers are interested, but I don't know right They have a first look development deal, but I want to get something on the air

[02:01:10] Right and like I'm we're trying to pry it free because marty had expressed You know, but he wants to bring it over to paramount based on the comedy stylings of napkin Right they're thinking of doing a tour maybe and filming it. Yeah

[02:01:26] That's it. He has a cow and he sows All this is boring Okay, you don't like it. I don't like that. I don't like their movie at all

[02:01:34] I like this part. I like the daughters. The daughters are great. That's he knows so they're all so nice to each other That scene is where the movie is like idiosyncratic again, and I'm into it. Yeah. Yeah, that seems great

[02:01:45] I just like don't I like this part of the movie better. I the Kate jack black part That feels more individualistic to me That feels a little she is not a person. Both of you are right and wrong Right. I mean that's your argument. Yep and Ben's argument

[02:01:59] Yeah Um, but yeah, I mean back at the kids side, you know, he realizes things are over with shannan's awesome And then they go out to sushi sure and it feels like they're about to fuck and then she calls him and apologizes

[02:02:14] I guess so right. Yeah accidental boob graze also, right? I feel like was used in the trailers a lot Boob graze That's like the one joke he has in the movie horrible if you can even call it a joke

[02:02:24] She should she should call the police when that happens. That's what she should do I keep telling everyone in this movie to call the police Um, yeah, and then like they're they're planning elie wallach's big

[02:02:37] You know, uh wallach celebration. He's gonna walk walk 2000 sec exactly and jack black supposed to do the fucking Music and he's like, I'm gonna be late By the home again, which you haven't seen yet, right?

[02:02:51] Literally it has the exact same ending. It's crazy. But anyway with whom you'll see okay. Um I was gonna say Uh, it's it's very weird that it's like they hired jack black to write an original score for the walk for a lifetime achievement award It's all weird

[02:03:09] You get work where you can get work. That's sort of the business. Yeah, that's right. We don't know how successful he is Right Like I love him for getting sarah marshall that that's jason seagull's job

[02:03:17] But he just works for csi at like that moment where he's just like promoting promoting, right? Like that's funny Well, and you know that kim randias has made the most successful trailer of all time

[02:03:28] That's true for the james frankelohan and james franco. That's nancy calling in an old friend. Yeah Lindsay yeah, yeah another person who could have used another nancy Uh, yeah, who now she kidnaps children off the streets of russia or something like whatever she's up to

[02:03:42] That's the worst movie of 28 Not good. Um Let's admit though the arthur theme slaps Yeah, it's yeah, it's slaps. Yeah, if you're gonna use slaps instead of box, I'm all for it. Yeah. Yeah, slaps is better Slaps is better. Yeah Um, yeah, this is all fine

[02:03:59] It's just like all of this and then at the like he then when does he kiss kate winslet at the very end He shows up at the last second once elia walloch's on because this movie is embarrassed by their relationship and won't let them have one

[02:04:13] Right. Yeah, and so like he's finally like he kisses her basically Apologizes and like comes in his pants like it's like pathetic. Oh, yeah, he does his little fist right and the movie's a regular man

[02:04:23] I know and the and the movies just like yeah, so they got together too even despite having zero chemistry whatsoever counterpoint They're I mean, I was waiting for you to bust that out but uh, the movie does argue

[02:04:36] All these people are getting together with their rebounds because it's just like one person who was nice to them After they were sad and that's correct That's sort of is making I don't know a little bit of a cautionary tale for some maybe

[02:04:47] But then Cameron leads but then we do see them a year later and they all look great. You don't see me here later You see him days later. Yeah, that's right. You're right. It's that right

[02:04:55] But presumably in a year, they're all still together and happy like the end of harry potter holiday too. Maybe How are they doing? They all go on holiday together Collin how they doing? I want to know does it hold up without elia walloch

[02:05:09] Uh, yeah, you can't do a holiday too once elia's gone. No, who else will tell us what movies used to be like, right? I don't know some some old Clint Eastwood. These are like dermant Mulroney

[02:05:21] Yeah, right some 90s rally back in my day movies cost 60 million dollars now they cost 80 million dollars I would be I would be into nancy and clinton Getting getting together that'd be good. Let's do that. I read something really upsetting

[02:05:37] I have of course in the past on this podcast talked about my most anticipated movie of 2018 I got drugs in my butt. Yep, of course And then read read a synopsis of it recently because they announced the release date

[02:05:50] Yeah, and it sounds like he doesn't traffic the drugs in his butt. He just puts him in the back seat of his car God damn it. He's no mule I wanted a 91 year old Clint Eastwood is a physical drug mule movie

[02:06:02] Like at least swallowing a couple condoms or cocaine and everyone And this makes it sound like he's just like, oh, they're going in the back seat where they belong But isn't the movie about like, um, you know, the big government took away my obama care

[02:06:14] So I got I got to make some money or whatever like isn't that what I thought build a wall But then apparently just like a bunch of shit apparently the premise is someone offers him money just to drive a car

[02:06:25] Okay, and he's like fine. I'll drive. I like driving And it isn't until a couple successful trafficings that he realizes what he's doing But it's from the screenwriter of grand terino. That's where I'm like, hello

[02:06:37] Yeah, Koopa's in it. Bradley Cooper's in it. Diane Weasd, Michael Pena, Lawrence Fishburne. I mean that cast Hell out. Yes, it does Um Yeah, 90 year old drug mule. He was a real person. You know who's originally going to direct it Whom? Ruben Fleischer Really? Yep

[02:06:56] It's crazy to think that project. I mean just kind of floated away from him like a turd in the wind Um Fettuccine I'm trying to think if there's anything I like the idea of a holiday fettuccine. I think that should be It should be a good tradition

[02:07:13] But have a fit when he says holiday pasta when he says holiday fettuccine I picture him bringing out a bowl of fettuccine. That's green and red Like I picture like Christmas colored pasta. Oh sure you could you know spinach pasta and all that right?

[02:07:29] Um, uh, do you think boba fett likes fettuccine? Do I think boba fett likes fettuccine? What's the joke here? His name? Fett? Oh All right, everyone leave I didn't say anything. I'll just keep doing another two hours on the holiday

[02:07:49] I have all kinds of other thoughts we didn't get to. Way in Ben Plum All right He's got a oh He has a text file Well, I can't wait. Oh boy. There's a part where camera Diaz

[02:08:00] Doesn't know how to work the coffee machine like in a preposterous way I mean again to your robot point. It's not plugged in and I just yeah But I just kept picturing other things she wouldn't be able to do the next morning

[02:08:11] Like she just screams at the sink because she's thirsty Like it's just insane montage. She's just throwing frying pans at the stove She's It would be great if that movie ended with her exploding a cottage What else you got Ben?

[02:08:37] This is a long text file. Okay, then I have a Um A note here that says that whole blazer is dope That's the the blazer that he he when he shows up drunk He's wearing

[02:08:49] I mean he looks amazing. His glasses are good. All his shirts. He is a snack. He's a real snack snack He's a compliant boba finish Can I tell you what my brain is like? All right, hold on one last thing one last thing

[02:09:04] I'm making a request for fans if they could do this for me. There's the part where we've mentioned jet Are you gonna be my girl and she rocks out? That's like the least like the least rocking song in the whole time So you want to overdub something right?

[02:09:19] I want someone to dub mayhem or cannibal corpse or like a black flag song Like I want to see a cut of that with some real hardcore Or some some fucking grind core. What do you know some speed metal?

[02:09:32] I would love to see that be that is one of those sequences that so clearly was written without them having picked a song

[02:09:38] Oh, totally right. She's not insane. No one ever dances in movies where she just flails her fists around and then pretends that the pillow is a guitar And it's to no beat it's just like A dance that could be placed over or any this is right, right?

[02:09:55] um you making uh the great truck of 2018 Made me realize The only job I want right now Okay, like literally my dream job and i'm gonna like on the record call that this is my goal for 2019

[02:10:12] I would like to be the person who comes up with the names for all the food items at the Disney Star Wars land. Oh sure all the puns all the required pun den garden salad Anything else he's thinking folks Potato stew baca sure boba head of chini um

[02:10:39] Anything else been the obi-wan cano beer garden Okay, it's more of a location. I mean that's what we call it then all the items on the list Just be right bud wiser

[02:10:54] Oh, the only other note is at the end and I guess we're not there yet. I don't know where I think Okay, this is that that party scene is so manic and insane Like I've never seen jack with the children. Yeah, they're all over

[02:11:07] They're just like it's so all over the place. So I love it What's the teardlaw cameron d has relationship gonna be who's moving where they can both do their jobs from home What's the jack black? Kate winslet relationship? He says he'll go to England Okay

[02:11:22] Everyone in this job in this in this movie except for Kate winslet can do their job from home. Yes So I mean, yeah, it's not that much of a crisis. They're all fine. Yeah

[02:11:31] I think how it's gonna end up is everyone's gotta be in England because jew's got the kids So he's sort of got that trump card like can't move the kid. Yeah, and jack is you know, yeah move to the cottage

[02:11:43] I don't like him. He's sort of hobbit sized. He'll fit in there. He is hobbit What's your problem griffon now you seem You know, I just this this movie to me it's uh It's it's lacking in conflict um

[02:11:59] I think the little cameron d has jew law side of things is pretty much lacking in conflict But I don't find it charming because I feel like they're so hostile and defensive the whole time And then the jack black hit winslet stuff I like but

[02:12:12] That's essentially a subplot to a subplot because this movie is like 65 cameron d as 35 percent Kate winslet. Yes, and then kate winslet's arc is like 65 elie wallach 35 we should mention he goes to his fucking thing and all everyone's there and it's nice and they all clap for him

[02:12:32] He walks up the fucking stairs and then he delivers a four hour screed on like yeah And his day miscellaneous in charge of italy or whatever it is he talks about right which it's not even that they're giving him the lifetime

[02:12:42] Achievement award at their award ceremony. It's a tribute just to him Yeah, just an evening which he's been rejecting for years and then from the moment kate winslet shows up and finds the letter It's organized within six days. Yeah

[02:12:56] Just an evening you what you don't think people go to these things on the christmas eve or whatever Wga west events. Yeah, they're free. This just feels like a movie that was written by aliens. No it's written by Nancy mires the film movie grossed

[02:13:13] Can I tell go ahead? I have one more story about a viewing of this movie Which is that the last time I watched this before rewatching this time was in winter of 2016 because I wrote a bright wall Darkroom piece about this movie. Oh really? I did defending it

[02:13:26] um aggressively but I watched it with friends around the holidays and We were watching at at my friends place and said friend was had just started dating Someone who was younger and not like problematic younger but younger enough that we all sort of like eyebrows up

[02:13:42] And said younger person also had a younger roommate who had tagged along Okay, who I had been warned was the worst So we had to like sit around and like entertain drinks for like 30 minutes before starting the movie

[02:13:54] Two minutes before we start the movie said worst roommate knocks over an entire bottle of wine red wine So we have to clean that up red red wine. Um, we sit down to watch You before you reference Yes, he is We sit down to start the movie

[02:14:16] Let me say my piece We sit down to start the movie we get 45 seconds into k1's let's like opening monologue and this guy stands up and he's like Oh, I forgot. I hate movies and leaves I forgot. I hate movies The craziest thing I have

[02:14:37] And then he got in a pod and flew back to the planet melmac, right? Insane the only interaction I've had in my whole life with this person

[02:14:44] We uh, it sounds great. Um was deeply fascinated by that sentence. Wait. I don't want to do this anymore. I gotta go Oh, right Ben just we've all been waiting for that Ben forgot that he hates podcasts

[02:14:57] Am I correct in thinking this movie ended up at like 45? No, it did better than that. It made 63 million dollars Oh, it's also multiplied. Okay. The opening was pretty low. The opening was only 12 Is this in the top half of her more?

[02:15:11] Well, she's only made six movies. No, and it's so it's four. No. Oh, okay Right because it's complicated someone's gonna give and uh, what women want all crews past 100 Well, women want is 182 something is 124. Uh, it's complicated. It was 112. Yeah in turn with 75

[02:15:27] So this is her fifth actually 66. Oh no, it's her six. It made less than the parent trip This is a low-risk grossing film. It's her lowest grossing film. Yeah, it costs a little too much money Right. Yeah, real diamond in the rough. Um

[02:15:40] It was two hours and six waiting for them to release the snider cut Like I feel like everything that doesn't make sense in this movie is because we don't get to see this Agree that the movie that the only problem is that it's not four hours. Uh, exactly

[02:15:50] It did do very well overseas though grossed 141 million dollars. So it made 205 million worldwide, which is pretty healthy Yeah, uh, it opened on December 8th 2006 in the number three position

[02:16:04] Number one though is a movie ben haasley loves starring a I mean directed by a former nancy meyer star Yade well you once told me you love this movie I believe it's on the podcast

[02:16:18] It's directed by a former knit. Oh, oh, oh, I believe I told you I love this maybe apocalyptic. Yeah. Yeah great move, which fox Yeah, mel Gibson. Yeah, never seen Scary. I don't like how he's like trying to be like

[02:16:32] We're gonna save these savages from themselves. Yeah. No, no problematic Mel Gibson problematic a I read the ending of that movie very differently And maybe I'm giving him too much credit because lord knows he probably has a bad Take on everything

[02:16:46] But I always thought the end of that movie was like Look at this guy fighting so hard to save his life and then he makes it back home And it doesn't matter because now His land is gonna be colonized like it was all for naught

[02:16:58] Yeah, life is gonna be destroyed anyway. It's a weird fucking move I thought it was like a very cynical ending not a like Hey, let us get in there and clean up this mess kind of ending

[02:17:07] It's the only movie of his life. I like oh, I like all this It's very embarrassing opinion of mine Braveheart rules Hacksaw Ridge is man with no face Never seen that. Yeah, I think I'm sure that one's fine. I think hexa ridge is dumb

[02:17:22] It is pretty dumb hacks are rich is the one that's the worst one. Yeah Passion of the Christ is is it's what it is. It's pretty good It's about that. Have you ever told you? I think I've told this on the podcast like

[02:17:33] That there was like a family friend who uh was From iraq was not uh christian and was so not christian that he was just kind of not and he Called up and he said just heard about this movie. They really beat the shit out of this

[02:17:51] I just remember I don't remember if we did this on mic or it was just a thing We talked about but after like the star wars episodes when we were like, how do we replicate this? Is there like another franchise we could talk about without context?

[02:18:03] The only good idea was what if we did passion of christ but pretended the bible didn't exist So How do you come up with an idea like and he plays a jesus he does play jesus. Yes. Yes, that's right Number two is a film griffin probably loves

[02:18:19] Is a huge hit it's an animated film it won the oscar Happy fit happy I love that Is so weird it's very scary. I really like the first 30 minutes. I like it when he's little I think that when the movie is just him going like

[02:18:37] It's like a mumbles the tap dancing pack. Yeah when he grows up. It's scary. Uh, yeah, then it's weird George Miller Action at the end Yeah, when he's in the the zoo The penguin museum, that's right

[02:18:53] It's a very odd film that made an insane amount of money and won the oscar It's four weekends in it's still number two. I think it had been number one three weeks in a row Casino real three weeks in a row

[02:19:02] It was like a weird both of them made like the same amount of money. It was just like always a little bit above it Yes, but it's a movie that allows george miller to make fury wrote yep

[02:19:11] Casino real is number four as you said, okay, and number five is um a Hmm sort of like uh Hmm, how do I describe this movie? How do I describe it then? Like a big kind of an action movie but like sort of a socially

[02:19:28] Uh aware it's not seriana. Is it no actors doing uh the lead actor's doing an accent lot of oscar nomination Oh, is it Blood diamond. Yeah, yeah

[02:19:41] Blood diamond a movie i've still never i've never seen a oh not the worst but not good not a very big hit Uh, well 57 did okay. Yeah, yeah, but but it got a bunch of oscar nominations. We once had a big five

[02:19:54] Yeah, that's crazy. We once had a very big fight over whether or not that movie had made 100 million domestic it cost 100 million is the uh, right? um Yes, but no it didn't but you know I think because of the oscar nom's

[02:20:07] I guess it kind of qualifies as a hit Yeah, and it did well worldwide or whatever and I feel people use that movie as a joke when they want to make Jokes about like serious. Yeah, because it's a lot of screaming and crying

[02:20:16] Right. I guess haunts who's good in that right? I like him a lot. I love him as an actor. He does a lot of screaming and crying. It's a pretty one-dimensional

[02:20:24] I'm so excited for him and shazam playing a wizard. I'm so excited for him to return to the marvel cinematic universe I'm so into that character marvel brings back two of the most disrespected characters in the mcu

[02:20:35] What's his character's name again? Uh corath of the destroyer, right? I was getting confused with mal keith Uh not mal keith. He's disrespected too. I'd love him to pop back. Yeah dark elves

[02:20:44] Right, but no li pace is also in cap run in the accuser run in the accuser. He's back. Yeah, that's great friend I love ron and the accuser. I think he's Disrespected as I said, yeah, I think he rules. Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah, maybe we'll talk about it

[02:20:57] I accuse him of being undervalued within this franchise Uh, you've also got deja vu The fun denzel movie. Oh, yeah, which time travel Deja vu was weirdly the biggest speck script sale of all time

[02:21:13] And then the movie kind of didn't make much of an impact but that script got sold for like 10 million dollars cool Uh unaccompanied minors the paul feig Movie that like doesn't exist is based on this american life segment. Yeah weird. Is there just in an airport?

[02:21:30] It's like the terminal, but just for one night It's kid terminal, right? Right, it's kids who are unaccompanied minors flying alone And the flights get canceled because of a snowstorm and they're all stuck christmas night

[02:21:41] Yeah, which is like kind of like a funny like little slice of life Uh, you know this american life segment about a bunch of kids who had to spend christmas together as like weird lachiki children in airport

[02:21:52] And everybody hates christ isn't it? I know and that's the movie He wanted to make and then Warner Brothers turned it into like a hijinks movie where they're trying to like prank the security guard Who's ron wriggle? Walmart valderama Louis black It's kind of weird cast

[02:22:06] The fat kid from um And santa was in it. Sure everybody's it was like all kids who had been like shit. Yeah Uh, everybody here christ is great. Not shit, but yeah, uh nativity story deck the halls Which one's that deck the halls is denny devido and

[02:22:23] Are dueling Over like better christmas decorating. Yes, right? Whoa Jesus and their wives in that are christin davis I think it's matthew rodricks wife And then day devido's wife is someone like that's like a site gag. I think I don't know like iman or like Grey's gorgon weaver

[02:22:47] Someone tall you're just trying to think of tall people. Yes, that's the joke i'm looking for uh, it looks like we've got uh, christin shanawith Oh, is is devido's wife? Yeah, who's very short true

[02:22:59] Just a different kind of psychic right they're both short. Yeah still taller than him. I would imagine uh, santa claus three Uh, the uh, it's the escape clause. No. Yes. Yes. Yes with uh martin shortest jack cross marty. Yeah Yeah, that's it

[02:23:13] Absolutely masterpiece shorter than the movie our episode thing adds might buff it out though You never know do you want to make like your sort of final like stand for the movie frank? Because I know we've been disrespecting it a lot and a lot of people love him

[02:23:25] And we'll probably get a lot of hate mail for this episode. Yeah, I do feel routinely bullied Um having returned to the podcast after so long No, I just I think uh, I have such fond memories of this movie. I think it is ultimately very kind

[02:23:39] Despite how deranged it is I think a lot of like deranged movies are that I like are also sort of maybe a little mean spirited Sure And in this one it is refreshing just to see people

[02:23:51] Treat each other thoughtfully after the sort of the big opening blow and I hate jasper and jude Law is daddy he is daddy and that's true. We can't argue with him I think this is just one of those sort of

[02:24:03] Nostalgia ones for me where I saw it at an appraisal age and I'm always gonna Defend it and there's so many of those movies. I actually really don't like and this for me has just been kind of a big Sticking point

[02:24:12] It is also like kind of a movie that was designed to be shown on tv Yeah, over four hours with commercial pranks. Right. This is like a tbs like lava, you know Yeah, I think jack black is normal in it. I think k winslet is normal in it

[02:24:28] Yeah, I think jude is normal and I think camera is normal in it You like it? It's extremely normal Uh, no, I just yeah, I'm very I'm very very fond of it. It's not my favorite Nancy definitely not mine. What's your favorite Nancy? Someone's gotta go

[02:24:44] It's so good. I mean that's spoiled by me. I only just saw it for the first time sort of this year outrageous I well, I was too young for it when it came out. I'm still outraged. Okay. That's fine

[02:24:54] David I just respect that my parents did not take me to that movie when it could have really damaged me Yeah, I mean you see a naked lady in that picture outrageous. David to be fair in friends

[02:25:05] That could have fucked her up. That could have really messed me up and made me like ladies, you know What a nightmare that would have been. Yeah, right? What a problem if Fran liked having romantic relationships with women

[02:25:15] I mean our world would be so different the butterfly effect of that. I can't even consider Yeah, just wouldn't make sense In France defense Something had to give. Yeah. Thank you all for listening. Please remember to rate review subscribe Thanks to Andrew for our social media

[02:25:31] Thanks to layman coming for a theme song Joe bow and pat Reynolds for our artwork go to blankies out right dot com for some real nerdy shit Check out our merch on t public And as always skip it up