The Lost World: Jurassic Park

[00:00:01] Blank Check with Griffin and David, Blank Check with Griffin and David Don't know what to say or to expect All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check Oh yeah, oh, uh, that's how it always starts

[00:00:25] Then later there's running and um, podcasting That is the worst of Goldblum Impression I have ever heard What did I just say to you? You said it was gonna be bad and I was like, oh, it'll be okay

[00:00:41] I didn't just say it was gonna be bad, I said it's my water loo It's your water loo I always feel like And you are Napoleon, let me tell you I feel like I'm someone who should be able to do a Goldblum Impression

[00:00:52] It feels like it should be in my repertoire And I've never been able to get there Hi everybody, my name is Griffin Newman Hi, I'm David Sims This is a podcast called Blank Check with Griffin and David We are hashtag the two friends Very true

[00:01:07] Named as such because we are two friends and we host this podcast together It's complicated It's both of those things at the same time That's what you gotta track You gotta track the two friends with each other Yeah And then also we host this podcast

[00:01:18] This podcast about directors Careers Yeah Context We look at filmmakers who had a massive success early on And then got a series of blank checks to make their own crazy passion projects Sometimes those checks clear Sometimes they bounce baby That was a bouncing check We do mini series

[00:01:36] Yes Going through a filmography, one film per episode And today we are starting off our biggest mini series to date In every sense In scale Yeah Success Yeah Maybe Yeah I think if you do kill me with gross I think so

[00:01:53] It's also our first time we have focused in on a part of a career It's just too big a career to do it all Will we do the other part? Probably someday Maybe Maybe We might go back This is a mini series about Steven Spiel

[00:02:08] The most successful filmmaker of all time Yup That's not hyperbolic That's by acclimation Yes By pretty much every metric The most successful filmmaker of all time But we're not doing the whole career Because Starting with Sugarland Express Or even Duel Right?

[00:02:29] If you count Duel that's always the big argument You count Duel, right? It's what is it? I mean it's like a lot of movies His third movie 50 movies, it's not that big His third movie Depending on whether or not you count Duel Is Jaws

[00:02:42] It becomes the highest grossing film of all time Among Us It's not only for best picture He famously does not get a best director nomination And there's this amazing video of him in his apartment Watching the nominations Ready to be Have we said his name?

[00:02:54] Steven Spielberg, I said that Okay The most successful director of all time Briefly afraid that we were No, no, no I was lying at the trap You were going to talk about the Jaws studio You know that video, right? I've heard of it He's sitting on the couch

[00:03:04] And he's with his friends And he's like I'm about to get nominated for best director And he sits there And they're calling out the nominees And he does not get it And Frederico Fellini gets like a surprise Best director nomination Was that the one that knocked him out?

[00:03:19] Yeah Fellini for like satiricon Or something weird like that I think it was the satiricon This is a great start Right? Um, but no But I'm charting a real specific thing Which is there's that video Where he's sitting there in shock Because he was so ready

[00:03:33] To get a best director nomination And he spends like the next 20 years Really chasing an Oscar There's other stuff in between But he really wants an Oscar, right? And he's pegged as this blockbuster film He's a popcorn guy A lot of people blamed him

[00:03:49] For making American cinema more childish More base, right? Sure Which you could say You can lay a lot of things at this man's feet Right You know That's a larger debate to be had Maybe not at the top of a new many series

[00:04:02] Sure, but he wants that Oscar gold And he comes close with ET Gets the nominations for close encounters Gets nominations for Raiders Color purple famously was the most nominations To receive zero wins Oh, I see, right You're setting up the Oscar narrative Yes Of course, you're right

[00:04:18] Right? I was doing something And then finally Notting vigorously Finally He's gonna make Last Temptation of Christ Martin Scorsese is gonna make Schindler's List They do a Yankee swap Yeah And Stevie he finally hits it Uh, yeah, in 1993 he makes Schindler's List Best director, best picture

[00:04:36] He wins, right? He wins both of those Oscars But earlier that year He releases a little talky Called Jurassic Park A two-realer A two-realer Uh-huh A mutual comedy He does And it's huge, seismic Big movie And he made them both in one year 93, crazy

[00:04:58] Arguably the best year director's ever had He was, you know, doing post production on Jurassic Park While he was shooting Schindler's List How, uh, what do you do? And two of the most seismic films in recent American history And here's the thing

[00:05:12] Most directors we've covered had one movie That was so big it gave him the blank check forever, right? Spielberg, in this run of time Has like five movies that would have solidified a person's career For the rest of time Jaws alone would have done it

[00:05:27] Close encounters probably would have done it Raiders certainly would have done it E.T. certainly would have done it You know? Same with Jurassic Park But he's just like, got so many blank checks here That he's not even cashin' He's producing shit

[00:05:38] The stuff he's producing is blowin' up Roger Rabbit, Back to the Future Goonies, Gremlins Guys got a golden touch, right? And then he finally gets that Oscar gold In the same year that he like once again Was Jurassic Park when it came out

[00:05:49] The number one movie of all time? I think it was And I think it was dethroning E.T. I think he was Cameroning himself He was replacing his own movie Jaws was number one at its time In Star Wars Right In E.T. I'm pretty sure

[00:06:05] I think three times in history He's had the number one movie in history Which is pretty nuts And what does he do? This amazing year How has he followed up? Four years, nothing Well, he's Doesn't make a movie Doesn't make a picture Excuse me

[00:06:20] He releases the video game Steven Spielberg director's chair For PC and Mac You're right, that's somethin' But the bigger thing he's doing is He's building his own studio I just I did like a puppet mask Not even a shingle Not even a bungalow on the lot

[00:06:35] He gets together with a couple of Friendly fellows David Geffen Yeah Jeffery Katsimer Sure Two power players A cast off from Disney And a music mogul Right One guy's like the money guy The business guy The other guy's the animation family guy And they come together

[00:06:51] And they go We're gonna start our own studio A director Has never had that much control Over a studio There was a united artist But that was like Eight people together That's about the only one And also no one's going out there Making studios

[00:07:03] Oh, that's a lot of Shit you need There's a reason people don't do it Yeah But he does that And you and I would both argue That is the biggest blank check That any filmmakers ever had An entire studio That's our argument That's our premise Is the DreamWorks

[00:07:22] SKG Studio he created That now is no longer Technically a movie studio More of like a sort of Now it's like A little production company Within other studios But for a good run It was a real movie studio That made many movies a year And Steven Spielberg was

[00:07:39] The guy who he put His career down as collateral basically His DreamWorks was gonna have All the Spielberg movies And that alone was enough To get investors involved All the Spielberg movies Except for the one we're discussing today Right, so we're fudging it a little bit

[00:07:54] Because the last movie we're gonna cover Is technically sort of post-DreamWorks It is, it's not a Proper DreamWorks film And this is technically Right, technically pre-DreamWorks But we're including this And what will be the last film In our many series Just because they kind of Bookended nicely

[00:08:13] Yeah, no totally We're doing Spielberg post-Oscar That is technically That's the biggest thing What we're doing Yes there are things that Yeah he didn't totally make With DreamWorks maybe Whatever But pretty much by and large These are all DreamWorks pictures And the big thing is post-Oscar

[00:08:28] And I don't want to hear anything about it Yeah, don't fucking give us any guff about it I don't want to hear guff No I love music, okay I like to put on some tunes And dance a little jig But if you give me chin music

[00:08:39] I'm gonna tell you to mute that shit This is great, I love it This is great, this is a bold new direction Also hi guys Oh hi how's it going I mean I guess we did split The week before but uh Yeah You know it's been a while

[00:08:50] Since we've been in the rhythm Yeah sure It's been a while between minis It's been a while It's been a while But I think a big drive in this narrative We're gonna try to construct with this miniseries Is also that he's won the Oscar

[00:09:04] What does he have to prove anymore? Right and he was someone who really wanted that Oscar That was really driving him And he's already made three humongous Number one movies in history In addition to so many other And he made Rage the Lost Ark

[00:09:17] He made so many movies there And produced the cartoon shows And fucking everything that's like At this point we're just seeing Steven Spielberg unleashed He's following his flights of fancy His whims of what he feels like doing in the moment Right

[00:09:27] And I think it falls into two categories Steven Spielberg changing Our perception of what a Steven Spielberg movie is Sure And I think that's when the films work When he does something that isn't Categorically a Spielberg film As we knew it Up until that time Fair

[00:09:45] The other half of the films I think are Spielberg trying to be Steven Spielberg Such as The Lost World Jurassic Park I guess that's one explanation for this Shit piles You know those shitty Beatles cover bands Where they're like the fab four

[00:10:00] And it's a bunch of guys in their fifties It's like a Paul McCartney joined one of those Well, alright, my metaphor might be Like you know how you can see the beach boys now But it's just one beach boy And then other guys who are just sort of

[00:10:13] Filling in the gaps We have very similar metaphors I was just building on yours Yours was good What are we gonna do? We're friends Share this equally Two Two friends But this is the first film we're going to discuss Today on this episode

[00:10:29] Is The Lost World Jurassic Park And the name of this miniseries is What's the name of the miniseries Griffin? It came to us very easily It came to David Sims very easily PODME IF YOU CAST Ah Doesn't that just make you want to take a

[00:10:43] Long drag on a cigarette Oh, it's a nice little jaunt Miniseries Miniseries It's an adaptation of the title Catch Me If You Can Yeah, all our miniseries are adaptations Of other films So The Lost World Jurassic Park Good setup

[00:10:58] So this is his first film back after four years That have most been spent Releasing one CD-ROM game And constructing Spending time with his family Apparently, you know, I think he wanted to take a break He's got like 28 kids He's got a lot of kids His six children

[00:11:12] That's a good amount No, it's a decent amount He had married Kate Capshaw in 1991 And yeah, I think, you know, it was After the whirlwind of making Shinler's List in Jurassic Park It was time for him to spend some time with her Yeah I don't know

[00:11:28] And the kid And he comes back Trying to replicate 1993 97, he was clearly like I'm gonna do it again I'm gonna pull another 93 Remember when I did Shinler's List And Jurassic Park He's like, I'm gonna do Al-Mustad And The Lost World Jurassic Park

[00:11:44] Right, I'll give you your blockbuster and your serious Oscar movie I can do it again You can't stop me It'll make Dreamworks happen Right, that was the thing Because Lost World was at Universal Because they had done the original And Al-Mustad was like one of the

[00:11:57] First big Dreamworks movies The first Dreamworks movie Is The Peacemaker And then Mouse Hunt And this I think we're all in the first year I think the three 97 Dreamworks movies Were that Probably, I can't look it up Not this, Al-Mustad rather Yeah, those are the first three Yeah

[00:12:16] Al-Mustad's actually second Mouse Hunt came out December 19th As we've discussed previously On our Titanic episode I'd love to go hunting baby Yeah, so that's That's the story And now The Lost World Jurassic Park Something has survived Something has survived It's me, Jeff Goldbloom Surviving

[00:12:37] To act in this A sequel to the original Ben, what do you make of this? Not good Can you do a Goldbloom producer, Ben? A.K. the Ben Deucer A.K. Purdue Ben A.K. the Peeper A.K. the Poet Laureate Mr. Positive Mr. Positive Birthday Benny Tiebreaker

[00:12:59] Fuckmaster Dirtbike Benny Wet Hot Benny Silicon Wet Benny Our finest film critic See you on the streets Greet you with a hello fennel Certain titles Graduated No, I think Ben was going to say something Yeah Let's graduate to certain titles Over the course of different minis There's

[00:13:18] Such as Bruce, a brand, Kanovi, Kylo, Ben Ben, Ben-Achamelon, Ben-Tate Say Benny Say Benny-Tang And? T-Venthaas Ben-Optanium What was the other one? What was the other one we were thinking of? Here's what's so annoying to our listeners It's been like Fucking six weeks and we still haven't settled

[00:13:37] But the problem is we recorded The last episode like two days ago I still like Ailey Bens I like Ailey Bens too Well, Ailey Bens, whatever There we go, it's Ailey Bens It's one of those Okay We'll see, you know, these things change

[00:13:51] Can you do a Jeff Goldblum? Well, yeah, just, yeah Well, yeah, I think that can't be done How about that? How do we feel? I mean, I feel like I'm throwing stones in a glass house He's hard to do He's very hard to do He's hard to do

[00:14:10] Can you do a Goldblum? David, do a bloom You gotta do a bloom We're all blooming It's Bloom's Day over here You gotta throw a bloom on the table Absolutely not Do a little bloom No David, we've planted the seed Added the water I'll think about it

[00:14:24] I'm not gonna do it right now You've grown Because I feel like some line will occur to me, right? Okay One of the great lines in this movie All those screenplay lines You know what, Ben? That's fair David's a late bloomer

[00:14:36] We'll let him Goldblum when he has the stick Alright, guys, I wanna say I don't think we should say bloom Because we have discussed Orlando Bloom A tragic amount on this spot We have So I feel like that's crossing the wires

[00:14:48] I don't think anyone has discussed both his career And his penis as much Some have discussed one or the other We've talked about both a lot There you go One's better than the other And I'll give you a hint The better one's an organ

[00:15:04] The last rule, Jurassic Park I'm gonna set it up Okay, cool You had Jurassic Park, big hit Based on a book by Michael Crichton About dinosaurs that are brought back to life On a Costa Rican island A senile British man And then the dinosaurs chased some scientists around

[00:15:22] Michael Crichton, the king of bad theme parks So Speely, old Steve Goes to Michael Crichton and he's like, Michael Jurassic World did pretty well Do you wanna write a sequel? Jurassic Park, please Jurassic Park, not Jurassic World Jesus We'll get to that one Too soon Always too soon

[00:15:39] Always too soon Jurassic Park Let's also say, I just wanna quickly Jurassic Park, hot property When the book came out It was such a good fucking concept They optioned it, I think, before it even came out Like they knew it was gonna be huge

[00:15:50] There was a big bidding war Each studio had their director They were pushing for it So I think like Warner Brothers made a pitch with Joe Dante Sure I think It's a different movie Yeah, someone I think had maybe Zemeckis Or something, it was like

[00:16:04] Four or five big genre directors Each went in And then the second Spielberg Teamed up with Universal The other directors tapped out They were like, oh fuck If he wants to do what he's gonna do He did it Revolutionary And it's a great movie

[00:16:15] And we will talk about Why the movie is great During this episode I imagine When we compare this movie to it The opposite of what we do With our Star Wars episodes All we're gonna do is compare this To the original Jurassic Park Anyway, just to

[00:16:27] They go to, Steve goes to Mikey And he says, Mikey, I loved Jurassic Park Yeah The movie, it made a couple bucks Maybe write a sequel And Mikey's like, I don't write sequels I'm an artist And he's like, well you should do it

[00:16:38] And he was like, oh okay So he wrote a bad book Called The Lost World Where he brings back Ian Malcolm I mean not Ian Malcolm No Ian Malcolm, yeah The character played by Jeff Goldblum In the movie Who dies in the first book In Jurassic Park

[00:16:54] Off screen or whatever But he does die But he brought him back Because I think Either he was like I have to bring him back Or someone at Universal Is like, Jeff's interested So he needs to be alive I think he was also the character

[00:17:09] That popped in the original film He was the fan favorite That's true, and Creighton said that Creighton said like His importance is so critical Like we need him commenting On what's happening Like we need this guy To be like the sort of You know, a scantz

[00:17:21] View a skew kind of guy Sure, yeah So Kevin Smith did a bit I think Goldblum added a lot To the character That wasn't there on the page I think he turned it as something That popped a lot more Than the character in the book Did, right

[00:17:32] Although the character in the book Was a good audience To get commenter I'm not a huge fan Of Michael Creighton's writing Although I think he's He's written a lot of cool Like he's had a lot of cool ideas It's a good idea, man He's just not the

[00:17:42] Like most arresting writer to me I think a lot of his characters Kind of sound same to me Work my like, yeah But like no doubt The idea of Ian Malcolm Is really cool In Jurassic Park In the book Jurassic Park The idea of this person

[00:17:52] Is taking a zoomed out look At what you people are doing Not from some ethical perspective But it's like I think he's a great writer And he's a great writer And he's a great writer And he's a great writer And he's a great writer

[00:18:01] Not just from some ethical perspective Of like, oh the poor dinosaurs But more from like Humanity is just taking One step too far up Jacob's ladder here Like we're not in control Anymore But then the added element to that was You know Goldblum always says

[00:18:15] In interviews when he signed on To the movie they had Conceived him as More of a straightforward scientist And Goldblum said I want to break the mold Of how scientists are always Shown in these movies Where they're nerds Can I be the rock star scientist

[00:18:27] Can I be the one Who's cool and cocky And it's a great idea It's a great combo. It's a really good cocktail. And we should say he's just phenomenal in Jurassic Park. And we should say the choice he made to take a couple buttons down. A plus.

[00:18:41] A plus is chess looks great. And then since then, but I would say that's also the button scene. That's originally in the script, much like in the book, his character was going to die and he was doing right.

[00:18:51] He was so clearly killing it on set that they were like, we got to rewrite this. So he comes back from the attack and he's not too damaged. You know? Yes. In between Jurassic Park and the Lost World, he'd made another two-realer. Independence Day, baby. Called Independence Day.

[00:19:06] The had done quite well for itself. Jeff Goldblum, a weird, eccentric character actor, has now starred. Briefly a huge movie star. Two of the biggest films. He's in two of the 10 biggest movies of all time at that moment.

[00:19:19] And I'm not saying like Jeff Goldblum isn't now a movie star, but Jeff Goldblum is not like, I mean, well, Independence Day resurgence. Yeah. This was a weird pocket of time where he became a very unconventional leading man. Exactly.

[00:19:31] You could put him at the head of a movie and that was a good, bankable decision. But here's the thing, in both of those movies he is... I mean, this is to be fair, this is the end of that pocket. Right, 100%.

[00:19:41] In both of those movies, Independence Day and Jurassic Park, he is a lead. Yes. He is not the lead. As we will, I'm sure, maybe it sounds like you agree with me perhaps on the mistake this movie's making, but exactly. 100%. And he's your off-ball guy.

[00:19:57] You've got your main lead, you're more type A guy, and you've got Goldblum just a little to the side being like, oh, I don't know, like that. And here's the thing that he's able to do really well if you put him just off to the side. Ooh.

[00:20:11] He's able to bring the audience into higher concept stuff. Yes. Because he's saying the stuff that we'd be thinking our most critical minds. While being like, come on. And he's got this really offbeat delivery, so even when he's doing exposition, it never feels kind of clunky because he's

[00:20:27] got these weird jazzy rhythms and all these little ticks. And so it makes it feel kind of natural. He also plays scared and nervous very well. He's good for a disaster movie. And he's very human because he's so unusual. So yeah, Jurassic Park, you've got Sam Neill

[00:20:43] and Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum. Ooh. Oh. Independence Day, you've got Will Smith and Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum. Oh, there he is. Now, Independence Day, Will Smith is also kind of off to the side, I guess. But he's cracking jokes too.

[00:20:55] But in a big blockbuster, especially something that's destruction-based or sort of fear-based or whatever, where there's a threat, if you're the lead, you're sort of the matinee idol in the movie. Male or female, I think this carries through the other four actors you just mentioned.

[00:21:14] A lot of your performance is going to be slowly standing up and looking at something dramatic. Especially if you're in a Spielberg movie. And then Independence Day cribs a lot of that, the Spielberg looks. Right? So here's what this movie does.

[00:21:26] Goldblum's best over the shoulder going, that's not good. Mommy's very angry. Hold on, I got it. Well, that's not good. Look, it's a dinosaur. I think alien. I'm an actor named Jeff Goldblum. They call me Goldy. All right. OK, I'm cutting it off. All that literature is goldbloom.

[00:21:53] Here's what this movie does. Jeff Goldblum, number one. You look at it on paper. Julianne Moore, number two and Vince Vaughn, number three. Right off of swingers? OK. Who we got in the supporting cast on this, David? Oh my god. This, I mean. Pete Posseltway?

[00:22:07] We're going to see this in Saving Private Ryan and Eni Namastad. It's just like the 18th lead is someone you know very well. Peter Stomer? Right off of Fargo? I mean these people are coming off a big hit. Pete Posseltway off of like the usual suspects

[00:22:20] and in the name of the father. Arliss Howard, I don't know what he's coming off of. Richard Schiff? Richard Schiff? Kind of pre-famous but you know. Who else is in this? A young Camilla Bell. For one scene, a young Camilla Bell. I guess that's it.

[00:22:36] I guess that's the main cast. You have a little cameos by the kids from Jurassic Park, Ariana Richards and Joe Mazzello. Got a little scene attenborough. Yeah, you got a scene attenborough. Oh and of course, Vanessa Lee Chester. Of course. As she had been in Harriet the Spy

[00:22:55] and A Little Princess, right? She's an Little Princess. Yes, as a child she was one of my favorite child actors. When you're kid you like seeing kids on screen who like feel like they- Sure, you can relate and stuff. Especially in the 90s I feel like

[00:23:08] they were more aware about that. They were like kids like to see your Mara Wilson's or whoever. And Vanessa Lee Chester was maybe my favorite. I loved Harriet the Spy. And I rewatched that movie recently when I couldn't sleep. That film is still very well directed.

[00:23:22] Vanessa Lee Chester rules in it. She's really fucking good in it. So I remember being really excited that she was like, oh she's in fucking Jurassic Park now and her career kind of ends right after this. Yeah, she's in She's All That,

[00:23:35] but in a small role I think. And that's kinda, she's in TV shows after that. She still makes TV shows. She still makes TV. She was in Scorpion just last year so she's around. But I think she suffered a little bit of the Jake Lloyd thing in this

[00:23:49] where people really hated her character. Yeah, I mean not maybe as extreme as Jake Lloyd because there's less of her in the movie. Her character in this role in this movie. I mean well the movie's a problem. The function of the character is really not.

[00:24:00] The function of the character is stupid and that should have been taken out at first pass. And I think part of the problem is one they were making this quickly. Two they were making it based off a really terrible book that was also made quickly.

[00:24:13] Three David Kep wrote it and he's a bad writer. And four, yeah like no one was gonna edit them much anyway because who cares? It's Jurassic Park 2. We're printing money, it doesn't matter. We are literally printing money. It doesn't fucking matter.

[00:24:25] It could just be the T-Rex just howling for 90 minutes. They probably do fine. It'd kill. So my guess is this wasn't really like they didn't go through, cause like a script pass you're gonna be like we don't need the kid. The kid's really superfluous to this right?

[00:24:39] Maybe Spielberg really wanted it. They said in earlier drafts the two original kids were in the whole movie. Uh-huh, right, right. I think in the book the two original kids are in. I haven't read it. And they wanted a new kid. I was just gonna say quickly before

[00:24:52] I'm sure we'll get back to her again later. The thing I think Vanessa Lee Chester had going for her where she didn't spiral out as much as Jake Lloyd is her performance isn't bad in this. People just hate the fact that her character's in it.

[00:25:05] Jake Lloyd had a double whammy where it's like this character sucks and the kid playing it sucks, you know? But Vanessa Lee Chester I think was just left with a little stink on her cause it was such a high profile. Like what the fuck is these scenes?

[00:25:17] I don't even want her to be here, you know? But yeah, I mean there's a weird phenomenon where a original book, adapt into a movie, movie takes liberties, kinda pluses the material, makes it into something different and then they go back to the original novelist

[00:25:31] and go can you make a sequel? And now the novelist is kind of making a sequel to right and they're writing a book knowing that it's just so that someone can adapt the screenplay. But the other thing is the novelist has also decided

[00:25:42] to sort of pay homage to Arthur Conan Doyle's 1912 or whatever book The Lost World. Which was also adapted into a movie. Which is about like an island of dinosaurs. Right, where they just roam free. And so you're like okay and then Steven Spielberg

[00:25:56] reads this book and he's like cool but like also can we have a T-Rex in San Diego? He just has some disjointed like larger kind of concepts. Because I've always wanted to make like a Godzilla movie. So that'll be fun right? And they're like oh okay so let's

[00:26:09] just kind of tack that on at the end there. And so then you get this Matt's. This is just it's a shit sandwich. All right before we get to the movie or no do you want to say something? I just wanted to say another example of this

[00:26:21] is Thomas Harris with Hannibal. Which everyone wants to make a song to the Lamsequel he finally wrote the book and the book was like all these weird. Well the book people are like oh no, no we can't film this. And they fucking filmed it.

[00:26:32] I mean and they took out some of the worst shit. But they took out the anal stimulation of a corpse to make sperm but you know it's mostly there. And people forget this. She doesn't eat the brain though. She doesn't eat the brain.

[00:26:45] In the book she eats the brain. Okay. With the spoon. People forget this but in the book there had always been a question of like would Anthony Hopkins want to play Lector again? Cause he had sort of been like Hagey about it.

[00:26:56] Yeah and the book asked that question. In the book, no seriously in the book they set up that Hannibal Lector had a lot of plastic surgery done so that they could have a different actor play the role if necessary. Oh yeah that's right.

[00:27:07] Which is like the weirdest example of the novelist of a book writing around an actor who might not do the movie that's based off the book he hasn't written yet. Another movie that Julian Morrison by the way. I know. Another crappy sequel that Julian Morrison.

[00:27:18] He's got bad luck with this. They should have had Clary Starling get plastic surgery. She's the one who actually gets replaced. Anyway, do you think this is, here's my question before we begin talking about the story of this great film. The Lost World.

[00:27:31] Do you think this is the worst Jurassic Park film of the four? No I don't. What's she think is the worst? Jurassic World. I agree. Do you think this is the second worst? Like do you like Jurassic Park three better than this? I certainly do.

[00:27:44] I think it's a much better film. I think I do. I think Jurassic Park three benefits from, it doesn't have this Spielberg touch right? No no. Which I think this is an immaculately constructed series of terrible ideas. This movie. Immaculate is too strong but there are certainly

[00:28:00] some very good bits. I think this movie is very well crafted and even just in the bad moments. No it's not. No it's not well crafted. No it is not. That is crazy. On a cinematic language level. No I disagree with you. But we'll get to that. Okay.

[00:28:13] I just think it's a horrible screenplay full of bad ideas that are totally disjointed. I think it's dramatically inert. It is. I think it's a classic example of and then rather than therefore or but. There's that rule of storytelling right? And screenwriting where it's like

[00:28:28] if the series of scenes connecting them is just and then this happens and then this happens. It's not a propulsive story. It should be because the last thing happened. Therefore this next thing happens or but this happens. It's also the longest Jurassic Park movie. Really? 129 minutes.

[00:28:45] Not even that long. Not even that long although it feels long. But really. This one feels really long. Jurassic World is 124. Jurassic Park is two hours even and Jurassic Park three in my opinion one of the reasons it's so good is 93 minutes long. Yeah.

[00:28:59] That's a thing I like. It is a taught fun action movie with a few characters who run into some dinosaur. Jurassic Park three. Boom, boom, boom. I think the benefit is it feels like. Stakes are love. Yes and it feels like a later universal like Frankenstein movie.

[00:29:12] Where they're like we're not making these prestige anymore. This is like a burner. And I think that's what Spielberg thought he could do with this. What if I just make like a God's own like a fun monster sequel? Right. But he can't.

[00:29:22] He can't make a stripped down movie. Well it's also Spielberg. Spielberg no. No. It's really not in the last not in this era that we're gonna come. Agreed and Spielberg I think always fails when he tries to direct with one arm behind his back.

[00:29:34] When he's like I just wanna do this. Sure, sure. Rather than fighting at the top of his weight. Like at the top of his intelligence. Yeah and maybe he wasn't like going through the story over and over again and being like well we need more of an arc

[00:29:45] and we like need more of something for more of this movie to be like a bout. Right. Anyway. But I think anytime someone says something like I'm just trying to make a monster movie. It's like that doesn't mean the story shouldn't work. Yeah totally.

[00:29:56] But they start to make those excuses. Yeah well we talked about this before like George Lucas talks about this. And Shaman certainly. Has this defense a lot in Shaman 2 though. It's just a B movie. Right, no. But the other thing is and I think this is inherent

[00:30:07] Jurassic Park 3 works because I think it's actually the best hook for Jurassic Park sequel of the three. It's a good setup right? The setup is fine if I don't know it's a little half baked but it's fine. Well but this is what I was gonna say

[00:30:21] it's a good setup but I think it has been proven to us time and time again that Jurassic Park is a one movie concept. It is. I don't think there is a great Jurassic Park sequel that could possibly be made. Probably not.

[00:30:33] Without completely diverting from the source material and going in a crazy alternate direction. There was that rumor. What about Jurassic Underground? Yes that's what I'm talking about then. And it's about dinosaurs that live in the earth. There was that like John Sales script

[00:30:50] for Jurassic Park 4 that was always sort of legendary where they said like we can't crack Jurassic Park 4 so write whatever the fuck you want. Right. And he wrote a movie where a scientist was like half velociraptor, half human commando agents with gunstrap to their arms

[00:31:03] who went in and were like a black ops team. And it's like whether or not you think that idea is good I think that's the only way you could make a good Jurassic Park sequel is just to be like fuck it we're blowing the whole thing up.

[00:31:12] Yeah I would be interested in a Jurassic Park sequel set like 100 years in the future when this technology has somehow overrun in some way. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Here's all right. Jurassic Park's about discovery. The first movie is about discovery.

[00:31:26] It's about learning the rules of the world and then subverting them. And once we already know, once we've already seen things go bad that tension is gone. We can never have a Jurassic Park movie that ever sells the idyllic part of it before the terror.

[00:31:38] Right yeah so we'll talk about it. So yeah so Lost World I guess yeah it's a movie about nothing in particular but I guess it's about like something has survived. What if we had to go back there and clean up our mess I guess?

[00:31:49] But it's like what if like we can't decide what the reason to go back there is. So we're gonna have like three different factions that are back there for different reasons. None of which makes sense. No. Cause like here's what should happen in Jurassic Park, The Lost World.

[00:32:02] Richard Attenborough should say have lunch with Jeff Goldblum and say like so you know there was this other island where we bred the dinosaurs and then we would ship them over to the main island and now they're just breeding on that island and Jeff Goldblum would say

[00:32:15] is there any way for them to get off the island? He'd say no and he'd be like great let's never go there. The end. We won't go there. Shall we not go there? Yeah okay good. End of movie. Here's the thing. Da da da da da da.

[00:32:29] And it still would have made the same amount of money. I mean that's the irony. If that film had been released and it was five minutes long it still would have made like 220 minutes long. But then it's just the rest of their lunch.

[00:32:39] And then he's like so like. It's catching up yeah. Yeah what's up? Excuse me sir would you like a refill? Did you like the English patient? I thought it was okay. I don't know if it needed all those.

[00:32:48] I want to vote it for her but it was good. I'm a waiter I'm standing right here. Treat me like a human please. Would you like a refill? Sure. Great. Da da da da da da. Ben Hosley was good in Jurassic Park The Lost World.

[00:33:03] No one talks about that. He's probably the best performance. So Jurassic Park 3 is really real. It got bad. I was just gonna say even in you setting up how quickly the movie should resolve its own problem saying there was another island

[00:33:15] where we bred the dinosaurs and then shipped them over is so sweaty. Yeah it is. Even the very setup is sweaty of like why would you the transporting a dinosaur is gonna be so fucking tough. It's why they need Richard Attenborough because he can just about sell it

[00:33:29] cause you're like hey it's the guy he knows cause he found a Jurassic Park. If anyone can tell me this it's him. And notably he dies in the first book. Yes he does. And was not. In the first book the character is a little more of an asshole.

[00:33:42] He's a little more of a Ford in Westworld if you will. Yeah or like a Dr. Moreau. Like he's a little creepier. And when he dies he's like he's going like it was the kids fault. Like we'll just do it again. Jurassic Park will be fine.

[00:33:56] And then the little compies eat him. And it's good. They made him more of a genie old grandfatherly figure. Spielberg loves Richard Attenborough and obviously yeah I wanted to give him this sort of like fatherly role. You know I don't know.

[00:34:07] Yeah and I think the one kind of like funny idea in this movie is him being the most sued man in history. Sure. Which I like. But I mean and I think it also it works in this movie that he's like absolutely not.

[00:34:20] No Jurassic Park can ever exist. Yeah. I will not be the villain. I'm not going to like because we wouldn't buy it like after seeing Jurassic Park we're not going to buy that he's going to be like no no no it can totally work.

[00:34:31] Like you know you can't be. Jurassic Park though. So the movie basically starts with yeah him and well no okay it starts with the compie attack scene on Port Camilla Bell. It's a pretty good scene. Yeah it's fine.

[00:34:44] I mean it's in I think they thought about putting that that's the other problem with this movie. A lot of this stuff was thought stuff that they thought about having in the first movie and cut for time or whatever

[00:34:52] and they were like oh but now we can do it. This movie feels a little like one of those Blake Edwards Pink Panther movies where they couldn't get Peter Sellers so they were like let's use outtakes from like there's a there's a

[00:35:01] pick Panther movie after Peter Sellers died. That was all scenes that were cut wholesale from previous Pink Panther movies and the like the wrap around is someone going like we cannot find Clouseau. It's like because the actor died. He died of cancer. That's a bummer.

[00:35:17] Yeah but some of this movie feels like that where it's like this just feels like deleted scenes from the first Jurassic Park with some wrap around footage of Goldblum. Yeah so I have this question for you guys. Yes. All right well let's say it's more of a thought.

[00:35:31] Okay all right so you're going into it you're going into it you got the second Jurassic Park movie right so it's like you got dinosaurs again what do you do? You can't just go bigger. No. You go younger. Baby dinosaur. This movie has a lot of young dinosaurs.

[00:35:48] It's got the baby dinosaur. But also you add more. Yeah. End quote Ben Hosley on movies. I'm fine it's still in credit card. Tension 2016. So Jurassic Park the Lost World. The Lost World Jurassic Park something has survived. Correct. So you've got a little copy attack

[00:36:07] in some Costa Rican vacation. Oh no. A little constructed Spielberg sequence. I mean you just see did the master of blocking and staging. Does she die? Do we know? We don't see her die. Well that's where you get a little Spielberg-y.

[00:36:21] Because in Jaws he has the boy erupt in a geyser of blood. But at this point he's got a lot of kids. He's got some kids and he said like I don't know if I could have made Jaws. I don't like putting kids in danger

[00:36:30] and the same way. Right right. So he like takes you right up to the little line. He tells you right there and then it's like. According to Wikipedia she survives. They file a lawsuit against him. Hammond summons Ian Malcolm. Oh I have been summoned.

[00:36:50] No Ben no no shut up. Something has well one could say survived. I mean you're getting the diction right. Just not the voice. I don't know how to do the. I mean look dude you want to step up to the plate. David. You can silence us all.

[00:37:06] I'm a critic baby. Critics criticized. Until you get on mad TV and then we'll see the tables turn. So he brings Ian Malcolm. Yeah. And says so there was this other island. Isla Sorna. And do you know what that means by the way. No sweaty premise. Sarcasm Island.

[00:37:23] Oh fuck that. Seriously. Are you fucking kidding me. That's what it means. Oh fuck this movie. That's fucking Crichton's fault. I don't know why he called it that. Yeah Jesus Christ. And people write Cameron over the calls for unobtainium. Oh God. We should be protesting. Sarcasm Island.

[00:37:41] Fuck that are you kidding me. Because Isla Newblar sounds like a really cool island. Yeah if that was the actual if we actually saw Sarcasm Island. Great island. Did you get what he's doing. Yeah. Isla Newblar which is where the original movie And Jurassic World is set. Yeah.

[00:37:58] That means Island of Cloud. Okay. Sure. Isla Sorna. Sarcasm Island. I don't know. So he says there's this other island. We bred the dinosaurs there and now it's like overrun with dinosaurs. But he's excited. He's like it's great they just established the ecosystem.

[00:38:14] Life has as you put it found a way. They're just surviving. And we're all like oh God like are they just going to do like all the fucking catchphrases from the first movie. It almost feels like a video game storyline doesn't it. Yes.

[00:38:29] Right where you're like yeah I know there's some reason I have to fight dinosaurs so can you just like get this over with quickly. Yeah. And so his idea is why don't you a chaos mathematician. Yes. Not a paleontologist not a biologist not a chaos mathematician. Yeah.

[00:38:46] Is that a thing David. Sure yeah he's like a professor of math he's not however you know someone who documents wild animals. Right. But he's like why don't you go to this island and like document it so that we can rally public support

[00:39:02] for no one to go there. As if there's like people clamoring like let's go to like after the horrible deaths at that island let's go to another one a bigger one. What's also like OK if your goal is make sure people

[00:39:15] don't go there maybe just tell as few people as possible that it exists because right now they don't know about it. OK so that might be a cool sequel right. Sure. So here's the sequel forget all the characters from the original movie. Right.

[00:39:29] All of them are gone in this one. Yeah. And it's instead about these people who have like been like conspiracy theorizing and found out about this original disaster on Isla Nublar. Yeah. And so they try to fucking get there because it's

[00:39:42] like those weirdos who like go to Chernobyl you know and they get in trouble right. Yeah. Like that might be a cool much better idea. I mean I guess that's sort of what Jurassic Park 3 is about. Jurassic Park 3 is the kid accidentally.

[00:39:55] His plane crashes but then it sort of revealed that like they maybe were up to up to no good. Yeah which I don't like. Yeah you almost wish it was just like an accident. The better premise which is a good Jurassic Park

[00:40:05] sequel idea even if the movie isn't great it's like a good hook is kid accidentally crashes there the parents find Alan Grant and they go we know you survived this island we have to get our son back can you take us there. Yeah.

[00:40:15] Then it turns out they're in it for the money or some fucking bullshit. It's better if it's just the emotional survival story. Or Amelia Earhart is revealed to still be alive and she's trapped on the dinosaur island. I mean that's good. That's good writing.

[00:40:27] But did she play by Amy Adams or Hillary Doug? I mean Hillary Swank. Amy Adams was so good in the night the museum Balfour is most funny. OK so that might be a cool idea and then maybe you can have Ian Malcolm show up halfway through

[00:40:39] the movie because he knows this is happening or so. I don't know. You know it's a good sequel idea contained within this movie that I think could be its own movie if that was the main thrust of it. Sure. Poachers find out that there's an island of

[00:40:50] dinosaurs another they just want to go there. Another good variation on the same idea. The problem with that of course is how do you sympathize with a poacher. Well that's the question. But if you put all your energy onto the poachers you could find a fucking way.

[00:41:02] So anyway Ian Malcolm. He even explored they could have done a whole courtroom movie just about him getting sued. Yeah. That would have been interesting. Ben I'm going to kill you. Is there finance film critic? He is our finance film critic. David he's our finance film critic.

[00:41:15] Watch your mouth. So Ian Malcolm is like so yeah Richard Attenborough is like hey you should go. Ian Malcolm is like no. He's like look I got a good team. I got a photographer. I got a great team. Great team setup. You know Richard Schiff.

[00:41:29] You you met this guy. He can carry a gun. A beardless Richard Schiff. Richard Schiff. You know how Richard Schiff is always kind of slubby. Slubbier. We slubbed him up. You know what always look like he kind of had a chin. He doesn't.

[00:41:44] And now you'll get to see it clearly. Richard Schiff might as well just like wear like a red shirt that's like written with like it has like dead like you know walking corpse on it. This guy is going to die. Then Vince Vaughn Chicago's greatest photographer.

[00:42:02] I've hired Richard Schiff who can drive a Jeep. Vince Vaughn who can operate one of those digital cameras and your girlfriend who apparently you never talked to your ex-girlfriend your current girlfriend was already been on an island for three days.

[00:42:19] She went to the place that you every night presumably wake up screaming in bed and she goes what's wrong you go I can't stop thinking about Jurassic Park. I saw a dinosaur and it tried to eat me. Yeah that's what's wrong.

[00:42:31] I would be dead if I wasn't doing so well in the dailies that the studio was watching. Now I kind of like the idea. Yeah. That he seems to have rebounded from being jilted by Laura Dern who he was hitting on

[00:42:43] in Jurassic Park but they never get anywhere. But famously Dern and Goldblum hookup after the moon. No good for them. Yeah. But he's. That's some gangly sex. He's rebounded onto a similarly sort of like you know pale 30 year oldish. More age appropriate. Paleontologist. Yes. Yes.

[00:43:01] Like he just found like I mean how many fucking paleontologists are there out there. I mean look. To try and date. Work and play are one of the same for Ian Malcolm that's what we're seeing right. So she plays Sarah Harding. A great character.

[00:43:14] And yes she's nine years younger than Jeff Goldblum Julianne Moore so you know whatever. But wasn't Laura Dern like 22 in the first Jurassic Park. No that can't be true. She's so young. What are you talking about. Because she been in blue velvet that's like fucking 10 years earlier.

[00:43:28] Blue velvet was 89. And I think it's 86. It wasn't. She was born in 67. So do the math because I can't be bothered. 27 28 20 comedy point. Yeah. She was born in 67 and Jeff Goldblum was born in 1952. So he's yeah he's he's he's narrowed the gap a little bit you know whatever.

[00:43:57] He's a Playboy Chaos mathematician. But it's like you know Jurassic Park at its time was kind of a big deal because it was like a massive blockbuster that didn't really have quote unquote movie stars. And I think that is a trick Spielberg loves to pull. Yes.

[00:44:14] And he also loves to fill out these kinds of movies and did it with Jurassic Park he does it with Saving Brevor Ryan. Yeah. With guys who almost look like they're like could be the real guys rather than you

[00:44:25] have to just stretch and be like yeah no I totally buy that you know. But it's this idea like headland is a fucking archaeologist or whatever. Well that's his idea is like if the premise is so good right if the script works and it's a great hooky premise.

[00:44:39] Hooky then just cast the best actors you don't need movie stars who can bring you there you don't need personas to kind of overwhelm the movie get the people who play the parts. Right. Goldblum was the biggest star of the three. Yeah. Right.

[00:44:50] But wasn't working films at this scale. Lord Dern Oscar nominated but very much like a drama actress and and then Sam Neil was yeah he was like he was in the piano that year. Right. And this he tries to do a similar thing because

[00:45:02] like Julianne Moore was kind of like Art House darling. Yeah she'd been in like shortcuts right Boogie Knights she just Boogie Knights was going to get the Oscar nomination this year for the first Oscar nomination. So she hadn't been in Vanyan 42nd Street

[00:45:15] she wasn't doing big big movies. Not at all and Vince Vaughn he was like that Spielberg seeing swingers probably seeing dailies of swingers and being like this guy is obviously going to be a big deal. And this starts on board. This starts you know five years of everyone

[00:45:29] misunderstanding how Vince Vaughn is a movie star. Yeah up till old school right like I feel like yeah that period where it's like Vince Vaughn he should be like a creep. Right. Good people want to see him be a creep. Or he's like Gary Cooper.

[00:45:42] You know what's he Gary Cooper in. I think they're trying to do a little bit of traditional one. He is a little bit but then he makes like Psycho. Psycho the cell. Clay pigeons. Disturbance. Yeah. Clay pigeons. Yeah. And then in 2003 he makes old school.

[00:45:57] I mean that came out everyone was like why is Vince Vaughn in a comedy. That's weird. And then like now when Vince Vaughn does drama they're like why is Vince Vaughn in a drama. Curveball. He's pretty good in Hexaw Ridge this year. I've heard.

[00:46:08] There was a path of like five years where he was really really on it and then he kind of very quickly became Adam Sandler and got really lazy and made films just with his friends at suck. Yeah well he became just one of those people

[00:46:19] where it's like let's not even write dialogue for him. He'll just do his thing where he like stammers you know like a crazy stream of consciousness and it'll be funny. It got worse I think with him than a lot of other people and faster.

[00:46:33] It wore out really quickly but he had a big string of hits until they just suddenly stopped and then no one wanted to deal with that anymore. Yeah I mean I was talking about I wrote this article for The Atlantic a few weeks ago about comedy

[00:46:44] like doesn't sell as well anymore or at least comedy stars don't and like couples retreat. Is one of the last comedies that is not like a cartoon or like based on it. We're just like made a hundred million dollars. Posted to a hundred million

[00:46:56] and it was just like it's kind of a no-premise movie and it was just sold on Vince Vaughn but like Four Christmases did really well. What was the other one that he sort of just like somehow just fucking like threw to a hundred.

[00:47:08] Well the breakup did really well which I like. Breakup, Four Christmases. Yeah I don't know there's a couple more. You know what's actually really good though? What? Vince Vaughn's Wild West comedy tour. I don't even know what that is.

[00:47:21] That was his concert movie about a bunch of stand-ups doing slinging jokes in the Wild West. It's so bad. So comedians there are modern day cowboys. So but in this he's skinny and I guess kind of handsome. Yeah. And the idea of him is that he's posing

[00:47:41] as a documentarian on this very small crew. That has arrived on this island with no protection. Sure. The stupidest idea in the world. He's a photojournalist. And instead no he's like an ecological terrorist. Oh snap. Yeah great. He like wormed his way into this thing.

[00:48:00] He feels really muzzled in this movie. Yeah I think they all kind of do. Goblum does. Yeah. You know more is a total nothing in the role. Like total nothing. It's weird how little. Such a charming actress but. It's maybe her least compelling performance.

[00:48:13] You honestly why would you remember that she's in this movie. Because even something like evolution where her character is really underwritten. Yeah evolution is trying too hard by having her like fall over all the time. Which was it's like literally a parody of what everyone says happens to

[00:48:27] female characters and movies like that where it's like well they have no character but she was like can I just fall a lot so I have something to play. Yeah. But you at least remember that she's in this.

[00:48:35] I every time I start watching this film I go oh right Julian Moore one of our finest actresses is the second lead in this film. But you know on the beginning of her but she'd been in safe.

[00:48:47] Yeah and she yeah she was certainly like a very respected actress. Oh unquestionable. Yeah. But in terms of like big studio fair she was in the fugitive as the wife. Yeah no she's not the wife. C. LaWard's the wife. Oh right yes.

[00:48:57] She's like a doctor it's a small role. And Hannah Rocks the cradle. Is she's in that. Yeah she was like in some of these movies but you know hadn't been a big blockbuster like this all of her success was in small character

[00:49:08] drama but she was killing it in that. Okay so just to get back to the plot of the movie. Yeah. The exciting plot so they're there and they're documenting and maybe Vince Vaughn wants to do some ecological terrorism.

[00:49:21] But no they don't Williams to his credit does not use his theme until the credits. Yeah he has his like other theme. Yeah which is like don't don't don't. It's so memorable it's like this. Don't. So who else is on the island. Well you got Arles Howard. Yeah.

[00:49:39] Who is playing Richard Attenborough's grandson. Maybe. Yeah. Who's the guy was like taking over the company. He's his grandson he seems too old. I agree. I agree. That's like 150 like. Yeah that's not the hair pattern of a grandson. So Arles Howard who's an American actor but is playing

[00:49:56] like the most stuck up Brit. Which is a weird choice. I don't know why. I mean he's in tons of stuff. He's in like full metal jacket. Well this is he in a good actor. He's in natural born killers right.

[00:50:07] And I love him in Rubicon my favorite show that got canceled for after one season. But he's terrible in this. He's really bad in this. The film needs a good villain. Yeah. Because it's lacking any kind of other thing to really focus your attention on. He's really bad.

[00:50:24] Yeah. I think he's trying to do like a mustache twirling villain I guess. But it feels like he's very miscast. It feels like that's not what he's good at and even to saddle him with the British accent feels like if you want to be British

[00:50:34] hire a British actor. Why don't you hire a British actor. Yeah. So he's like the new CEO of InGen the like cloning company. And he's decided here's what we'll do. Jurassic Park. Eh too much. How about Jurassic Stadium. And we just have a dinosaur. It's like Sea World.

[00:50:50] And it just like wanders around and people pay to like look at it. I was like fuck that. And like and he's like and you know what Richard Edmbram my dad my grandpa. He built a stadium in San Diego that nobody talks about.

[00:51:04] You know how hard it is to build a stadium. This movie's so dumb. I can't believe I just watched it but having to verbalize it. So he's brought a whole bunch of guys. Yeah. Most of whom are like poachers

[00:51:19] or at least there's like a good number of them who are rolling tempo and there's rolling tempo who's played played by Pete Possilthwaite probably best performance 100% the only dialed in performance in this movie. He is fabulous in this film. And he's killing it.

[00:51:34] And also one of the greatest faces in the history of movies. We've rarely had a better face on the big screen. It's a great face and he's hairless in this film. There's an incredible look. Pete Possilthwaite is a bald actor. Yeah.

[00:51:45] And I mean I think of him as bald. I'm sure this movie's where he has hair but he's usually bald. He's sometimes got a little a little. Does he even have eyebrows? No it's like he's wearing a hat and sunglasses for most of the movies

[00:51:55] so you can barely see his eyebrows. And it's just other than that it's like completely hairless. Like squeaky clean, mister clean. He's incredible. Ben loves him and so Ben you wanna talk? Well I've you know I don't like to be referred to as a bald man okay.

[00:52:11] With never hair. Challenge. All right. And yes I'd love the shit out of this motherfuckers performance. Do you guys wanna play that clip? Yeah Ben play the clip. Oh man. Ben's been aching to play this clip. Okay. Pete Possilthwaite as Roland Tempo. Yeah.

[00:53:09] He wants to shoot a T-Rex. There I'm done. That's the whole character. Steven Spielberg said. He's got some other guys with him who wanna help him do that. Dieter Stark. Dieter Stark they play Peter Stormer. Peter Stark they play Peter Stormer. Spielberg said after I guess

[00:53:26] during the making of this film Pete Possilthwaite was one of if not the best actors he'd ever worked with. Oh really? Well he also works with him in Amistad. Yeah. The same year and I wonder did they move, did they ever work together again? Maybe not.

[00:53:38] I don't think so. It's too bad they should have. But Spielberg was like apparently very blown away by his technique and I've read a lot of like interviews. He died unfortunately a couple years ago. Did very sadly he died in 2011. In 1864. Yeah.

[00:53:51] I think it was Inception his last movie. Inception was not the town is his last movie. Oh and also he's in Killing Bono but that's not real. Yeah. But he's very good in the town. Yes. He looks pretty gaunt in it and Inception he plays a dying man.

[00:54:06] He does. And he's incredible. I saw him in London on the London stage. You saw him tread the board? In a one man show which is whew. You're so lucky. Called Skerimoush Jones that was really really good. And that I remember that was

[00:54:24] that was you know you're seeing a guy who knew knew what he was fucking doing. That's I mean so Spielberg had said as much and then I've read a couple of times like when A.V. Club will do those random roles features and people talk about movies

[00:54:35] where they worked with P. P. Postlethoit. Yeah. They always threw him as an example of a guy who's so thoroughly understood the camera and the actor's relationship to the camera because people would say I'd be doing a scene with him

[00:54:48] and I'd feel like he was way too big. Right. Like what's he doing and I'd look at it on screen and it would be perfectly measured and sometimes the opposite. He's not doing anything and he'd look at it. He sometimes just somehow was always

[00:54:59] totally dialed in to the future. Dialed in is the word. He's dialed into the movie. He's around. Yeah. Performance of his I loved as a child. He's the guy who gives James the bag of magic warms and James and the giant peach. That's right. He's the magic man.

[00:55:12] And he narrates the film. And he narrates it as well and he's like incredible in it. Here because when we were kids he was one of those guys that you would recognize. He's in that. He's in Romeo and Juliet. He was like in a lot.

[00:55:22] He's in Dragon Heart which I saw in theaters, my friend. And you can't forget his face especially if you're a kid. He's a very unusual. He's a little scary looking but then there's a weird warmth to him. So he'd kind of be like

[00:55:32] it was like he was like a human Grimm's fairy tale. You know? Yeah, definitely. Or you'd be a little lord and a little frightened. And you know after the 90s I feel like he gets wasted because I'm looking at his credits

[00:55:42] and yeah he's not in enough good stuff. No. And he is good in Inception in the town right at the very end there. So it does feel like oh yeah all right. Okay. But when he came back in those Samoos I was like oh we haven't seen him

[00:55:51] he possibly put in too long. And then he's dead. Yeah. Very sad anyway. I always wanted him to do like a Liam Neeson like action movie comeback and the tagline could be the apostle's weight is over. That's great. 100 comedy points. Thank you.

[00:56:06] So I wanted to say something about him though. Sure. If this movie has any arc at all it's his. Yes, 100%. Because like he comes there thinking like I'm a world renowned hunter and I want to get the greatest beast that ever lived right? The P-Rex.

[00:56:20] And by the end he like understands the majesty of the T-Rex and wants no part of it. That's why I think probably I feel like that's the best approach this movie has to a Jurassic Park sequel is to make it from the perspective of the poachers

[00:56:35] and perhaps in order to humanize him from earlier on so that the audience is on side you have you know what feels wasted in this movie the Julianne or girlfriend character the Vanessa Lee Chester daughter character you have someone to humanize him there and be like

[00:56:48] I don't think you should be doing this. Right. And then he comes around. I'm now going to tell you in 20 seconds the rest of the plot of this movie. Okay, we can talk about it. Can I try to literally time you on this? Sure.

[00:56:59] Because I think you could get it in under 20. Probably. Okay. Because like always leaving you just giving you the setup. OK, are you ready? Yeah. And go. The poachers and the guys the code poachers catch a bunch of dinosaurs the guys release the dinosaurs

[00:57:13] and then so they're all together now dinosaurs kill most of them they have to leave the T-Rex smashes through San Diego and then they send it home. Right. 14 seconds. I mean like what is there to say? Nothing. Like I'm not really skimping on the details. No.

[00:57:29] And Ben when you said it feels like a video game I think that's very on point because it feels like there are some cut scenes in this movie and then a lot of the sequences don't even feel like set pieces they feel like levels. They really do.

[00:57:40] They really do feel like levels. It's just like what shall we do next? So now we're changing scenery a little bit and now there's a new objective. Yeah. But it's never like a thrilling objective it's just like I guess we've got to get this done now.

[00:57:50] And then there are like there's some death scenes that are executed fine. Yeah. But okay so it's like all right so here's something Steven Spielberg made Jurassic Park. Correct. A very good film that conveys the sense of wonder one might feel. Liked it and felt the beauty

[00:58:07] and the terror of dinosaurs. That was the magic trick of that movie. The first half of the movie they go God dinosaurs are beautiful and majestic how wonderful would be to roam this park and then the second half the terror kicks in sure no we've gone too far

[00:58:19] we are you know we're not gods right in this movie they arrive and some stegosaurus is walked by and they're like there they are the dinosaurs no wonder. This movie normalizes the dinosaurs immediately too much and way too quickly. Yeah because OK so we skip this

[00:58:35] we usually do this. I saw this movie in theaters opening weekend. Oh yeah sure OK said you there's no way you saw the original in theaters did you I had not seen it period at the time I went to see it sure because you're pretty young

[00:58:46] you're probably eight. I was eight. Yeah. And I was scared very easily. Yeah how did you see this one. Well my friends love Jurassic Park. Of course of course like even when we were five I remember like a lot of them going to see Jurassic Park

[00:58:57] four or five you know and certainly years after that on VHS those four years in between also Jurassic Park is ridiculously rated PG. I know which is insane and it came with like a special extra warning that was like it's a PG but it's pretty intense

[00:59:11] like I remember the poster said like watch out for younger kids seeing this why'd you rate it PG because like Spielberg well it's especially crazy because Spielberg's the reason that PG 13 was created like he was notoriously the guy who kept on telling

[00:59:23] that line and after Temple of Doom and Gremlins they were like OK fuck this. Yeah there needs to be another rate right right right like that was because of Spielberg even though that movie has like severed limbs and stuff it's a P anyway doesn't matter it's got kids

[00:59:35] and so you saw it in theaters I saw in theaters I was very easily scared I remember just the innate premise of Jurassic Park knowing that it was going to start out good and then get bad really scared me right right and I didn't like tense scenes

[00:59:46] and he's for a tense like creeping around kind of really just like like animated films yeah pretty much I'm up in movies sure and when I it was like a bunch of the boys in my grade we're going to go see this right and the dad was like

[00:59:57] hey we're all gonna go see Lost World do you want to see it my parents were like we'll allow you and I was like I'm gonna fucking do it I remember sitting there like white knuckling like I was about to get on a theme park ride

[01:00:07] you know like I was like I don't know this is a good idea when I was a little kid yeah and I remember watching this and there were certainly certain scenes where I felt attention just because I hadn't seen movies like this before

[01:00:18] but like looking back on it very quickly I was sort of like deflated yeah well because it's not a scary movie at all doesn't build tension well I'd say the camper sequence is the one the only one and everyone talks about that is the one good Swiss watch

[01:00:29] Spielberg sequence but that's it but but I had this weird I was like watching rewatching this and thinking back on it because I saw when it came out opening weekend and I thought it was great but I also hadn't seen movies like this before

[01:00:40] so I was just so like oh my god it's like an adult blockbuster right you know and there was like a similar thing in this like one year span where like I saw this hadn't seen the original Jurassic Park thought it rolled I saw Roland Amarix Godzilla

[01:00:53] hadn't seen an appendix yet 97 or 98 98 98 hadn't seen an appendix yet and was like this rules so you're seeing saw Batman and Robin hadn't seen the earlier Batman movies was like this rule not even forever wow yeah so I was like three things where it was like

[01:01:07] I was getting the shittier version of the one that everyone liked but because I was so unexposed to it I was like this is great and I was like eight or seven and like complaining to all the adults around me be like why don't people like Godzilla

[01:01:18] it's fucking awesome and they're like because we saw the one that was like this except not dumb yeah um but I hadn't watched it until then I would defend lost world when people were agged on I was like it's fun it's good uh I didn't see Jurassic Park

[01:01:30] until on VHS after that and then I like rewatched it with friends five years ago on VHS in a basement in Toronto not even in London, Ontario and I was like this sucks it sucks it sucks it's boring it is boring and then watch it again

[01:01:45] you know last night and it's not good yeah it's not particularly good I had two and a half stars top two two you know like it's okay it has a couple set pieces it's very forgettable yeah so let's talk about some more things this might get wrong

[01:01:59] gets wrong in relation to Jurassic Park okay one normalizes the dinosaur is way too quick yep which removes all tension yep two it does the only one it doesn't is the T-Rex yes it nails the entrance to the T-Rex fine right like when the raptors show up

[01:02:13] like way late yeah you're like oh yeah there they are right you know but they know that the T-Rex matters and they build it up in the way they need to do with every other dinosaur like you think about how elegantly they introduce dinosaur by dinosaur

[01:02:26] the original Jurassic Park you know yes and the majesty before the terror and all that right two I don't think this movie has a story no has no story it has a plot doesn't have a story and as I already discussed doesn't really have much of an arc

[01:02:40] maybe a little bit to the Tenbo character it's not about anything the T-Rex is you know Spielberg always said the T-Rex is the hero of Jurassic Park like you know he like saves the day at the end when he takes down the raptors

[01:02:52] which Colin Trevor took way too literally in making Jurassic World yeah um in this one I guess yeah the T-Rex has have a story again but their story is just like these jerk steals that the T-Rex is kid yeah and then T-Rex is getting back get her back

[01:03:03] whatever get the kid back by the time they get to the San Francisco stuff which is San Diego San Diego sorry my apology you should be um it just feels like it's like he's given up on the movie he's been making for the last hour and a half

[01:03:15] and just wants to do this other thing instead and you watch that section it's like you know what if this is what he really wanted to do Spielberg maybe he should have gone fuck this book it's dumb and just made a movie

[01:03:25] where somehow the dinosaurs make it to main yeah but maybe he felt bad and was like he wrote the whole book oh my god that's such a bummer yeah alright uh that feels like the only section where he's like having fun it does that's true

[01:03:37] he does not feel great things no we'll get to that because the movie hasn't really earned it yeah but he at least there's humor or whatever self it feels self-referential it feels silly and it does feel like the kind of movie he was excited to make I guess

[01:03:51] at one point like a more of a B movie yeah yeah um but uh and we're not talking about Jerry Seinfeld as an inset not yet not yet that's our next Jerry Seinfeld does play an insect in this movie yeah watch carefully see if you can spot

[01:04:06] that is a spoiler our next mini series is the films of Jerry Seinfeld no it is not um let's talk about the Goldblum problem yeah because it's such an obvious thing where it's like of course if you're in that room you go yeah let's make

[01:04:19] Chef Goldblum the lead yeah Chef Goldblum is on the up and up everyone love that character why not promote him everyone's gonna want more of a good thing no there's a reason it's a side dish and we already we kind of already talked about this but it's true

[01:04:32] a lot of times fries are better than the burger but you don't get fries as nontree for a reason fry sandwich not a meal that's what you got handed with this one you got to hand it to French fry sandwich a french fry sandwich

[01:04:41] you like starch on starch you're like you eat it and you're like I think I like it yeah I don't know it's certainly not bad but I don't feel like I've had dinner so also it doesn't make any sense that Chef Goldblum's character

[01:04:53] would go back to this island he is I mean to use a D&D terminology he is chaotic neutral correct he's not the one who's like you know I really loved the idea of that island and those dinosaurs and I really wanted to protect them no

[01:05:07] I go as far as to say he hated it he arrived on the island before the dinosaurs started eating people he was like this is a bad idea don't do this yep very bad idea yep now I think part of the thing was

[01:05:19] Samuel didn't want to make this movie okay so Samuel's out but was he ever in the book? I don't think so so maybe yeah I don't know I think it might have been Colombe and Colombe so they squeezed Chef Goldblum into this leading man role uh-huh

[01:05:36] they try to ground him by giving him a black daughter uh-huh which by the way for 1997 huh no you like no they don't they don't uh do any kind of hand-fisted explanation or anything like that this is something that Fantastic Four or the fucking reboot

[01:05:51] like tied itself in knots trying to explain how there could be a white and a black person related to each other and they did two things one they spent a lot of real estate in the movie explaining yeah two the entire press tour they went

[01:06:03] we shouldn't have to talk about that which is so contradictory I have no idea if there was even a reaction in 1997 to this they may not have been I remember people going that doesn't really make sense I don't remember people complaining about it

[01:06:15] but I remember people being like that's weird there's literally one joke they make the entire film I love it too it's maybe my favorite element I'm an ally yes me too yeah I mean whatever I think yeah I like that the movie just spends no time trying to

[01:06:28] there's the one joke they make or when they discover that she stowed away in the camper and they're fighting and Richard Schiff turns to Vince Vaughn or Vince Vaughn turns to Richard Schiff and goes do you see a family resemblance? and Richard Schiff holds up a finger

[01:06:40] going like a little bit and it's like great just get out of the way sure Steven Slaberg I know also has an adopted black son who I think was uh he's young so I think he was probably so maybe this movie was a couple years after that

[01:06:52] I think have that be a matter of fact thing and I think that's great I love it unfortunately the character sucks don't think we need a kid in this movie at all I agree so that's a problem and I think the reason the kid exists is

[01:07:03] yeah Spielberg's like well you know the kid thing works I'm a dad yeah and like I sympathize with with parents yeah and yeah the kid thing worked in the last one it doesn't work at all here the minute she stows away you're like that was a terrible idea

[01:07:17] not only got the midget she's in she should do of course you get why they're there yes 100% and yeah and then she does nothing except for her gymnastics routine which is like widely mocked because you know the raptors are supposed to be really scary

[01:07:30] and she takes them down by doing some cool like work on the uneven bars and kicks one of them yeah I actually think the line the goblah line kicked you off the team is funny yeah I actually think he nails it and it's really good but the scene

[01:07:46] obviously I agree as a child I love that scene that was my favorite scene in the entire movie of course I like cheered when it fucking happened but it is I mean you talk about him nailing that delivery and it's like well that's the problem

[01:08:00] is the movie doesn't let him do that very much because he's so often the center of the film and he's the guy reacting in the sort of matinee idol standing up straight having the shocked face thing that he rarely gets to comment on the action

[01:08:16] because he's the one who is being propulsive and it's like the same thing that happened with the fucking Pirates of the Caribbean sequel where it's like everyone forgets that Johnny Depp's a supporting character in that first movie obviously Johnny Depp has tons of screen time

[01:08:28] but he can't be your focus he's Han Solo he needs to be the Han Solo yeah the guy who's messing things around right and you can earn a little sort of emotional payoff with him when he acts like he comes back

[01:08:37] and he blows up you know Darth Vader he helps Luke out like that work of course I'm not saying he yeah but he's got to be he's got to be on the side of the main propulsive plot because if the funny guy

[01:08:48] the guy who comments on the reality who brings the audience in cannot be the center character because there's too much other work they have to do which takes away from them being able to be funny unless a neatly baked into the idea of the film

[01:09:02] is the guy being an outsider who doesn't belong there and this is not that movie because the whole point is he belongs there he knows what he's doing he's been there before hmm let's talk about some of the set piece cool the trailer set piece is good

[01:09:12] it rolls I think it's good oh another problem is that they use way more CGI to make these dinosaurs happen in Jurassic Park it's a lot of puppets embellished with CGI way less CGI in this one when it's full CGI dinos which they do a lot of

[01:09:28] doesn't look good he got too confident he felt like yeah the tech wasn't there yet because at the time with the first Jurassic Park they said you can't do this period right and so he does it very well and so yeah he thinks like why can't

[01:09:39] you want to guess the budget on this movie what are you looking at I don't want to tell you yeah uh the budget on this movie I would guess was one hundred twenty five million dollars seventy three million dollars that's crazy isn't that crazy yeah

[01:09:51] Spielberg doesn't fuck around he doesn't fuck around ten million extra then Jurassic Park that's that's pretty nuts yeah um because they said on my Amazon X right when I was watching the film no they said that this film has fifty percent more dinosaur footage than the original

[01:10:04] that's probably true it has a lot of dino footage the first Jurassic Park has like twenty minutes of dinosaurs in total I think less than sure it's got like sixteen minutes or something it doles it out perfectly it's a good one the first Jurassic Park is great

[01:10:16] okay but hot take good movie so the trailer scene is cool because that's when uh the poachers have stolen a T-Rex baby this is after the poachers stole like a bunch of dinos and they let all the dinos out to like disrupt them which by the way

[01:10:31] they never get in trouble for yeah it was very uncool of them yes yes but the poachers stole a baby T-Rex in whose leg is broken and instead of saying you know what uh that's life and there's nothing to do about it Julianne Moore's like

[01:10:45] no no here's what we do take it to our trailer set its leg yeah with a cast so you know I was just dumb it's like we're in the trailer it's here's the problem you're watching the movie and you're bummed out that they haven't also seen Jurassic Park

[01:11:02] because it's like we're so far ahead of them we know where this is going the sequence works because uh it's Spielberg he knows how to construct it yeah like of course the fucking mama dinosaur wants its baby uh yeah so and you have this rig moral where like

[01:11:19] goblins like trying to call them on their trailer phone and they're not picking up yeah and you're like oh yeah the cage and the tree the fuck yeah that's stupid as well so stupid and uh and so yeah but the T-Rex attack is cool because I like the

[01:11:33] I like the reveal of two T-Rexes which I feel like the movie takes its time making clear to you sure you're like oh my god this T-Rex is everywhere and then you finally get that shot of them in both windows and you're like oh yep it's a couple

[01:11:46] okay uh and then go younger and you go with more you know all this stuff all the stuff with the trailer getting knocked off the cliff and Richard Schiff trying to like pull it back up and the various wo pieces of fun Spielberg has with that great

[01:12:01] yeah and there's just like Julianne Moore on the window and you know like the way it falls around them and I don't know that these sequences are really poorly thought out but Spielberg's always been really good at sort of an economy of uh storytelling right he figures out

[01:12:15] how to convey as much as you can as little as possible he blocks really well he constructs these shots where you get a lot of information in a quick dose by understanding where to place all the actors and how time the action all of that and he also

[01:12:26] and this is like the thing that I think people don't talk about enough but I really think separates like good film makers are master filmmakers is master filmmakers really understand how important sound is yeah you know cause sound is kind of the forgotten element that people can really

[01:12:39] take for granted and just go like we'll just record it you know but like Spielberg the fucking camper sequence fucking merchandise that's what you're doing go on yes I think I'm not gonna do a merchandise following a fucking lost world it's like come on baby crazy uh

[01:12:54] the camper sequence the way Spielberg uses the cracking of the glass is like that's doing 90% of the heavy lifting for you you know mm-hmm that's that's all you need really we agree um and even it takes a long time for any music to kick in in that sequence

[01:13:10] it's not until Julianne more lands on the glass and the things already teetering over the edge first two or three minutes when the thing's getting knocked over he's just playing with the sounds of the creaking you know he's he's a good director yeah even watching his bad movies

[01:13:25] it's like you could learn a lot from his worst films um yeah uh you're right yeah this is one of his worst films I would agree I'd say it's in the bottom five I was gonna say about to say bottom five probably a bottom five movie yeah

[01:13:39] he's made some shit yeah I mean when he makes I don't know if it would make my bottom five but maybe there's there's one movie we're gonna cover in this series certainly that's probably my least favorite Spielberg movie um okay probably the terminal who knows hey now

[01:13:58] there's one thing that we've left out shoot this is a really wet movie yeah a lot of rain now you know me guys I like a slick flick yeah you like a slick flick and I gotta tell you I think this is probably one of the more moisture

[01:14:14] franchises wouldn't you say yeah Jurassic Park I mean famous for you think about in the first movie the use of rain the cup of water like I I sort of imagine Spielberg like on set and there'd be like Steven you want more water he's like ship it in

[01:14:29] I want more more I have to move us along because we're I want to keep us tight oh also they love mud in this movie too go yeah it's a muddy movie so I don't know are there what other set is that's a good set piece

[01:14:43] but one of the set pieces are good I guess Peter Storm are getting eaten by the copies is pretty good yeah I remember at the time I found that very I like the visual of him and for one I just like the idea that he's this little

[01:14:54] bastard tormenting them and they team up and kill him but I like the visual of him falling like behind the log and the blood comes down the river how many fucking toys are you gonna look up on it's one I'm trying to get a good

[01:15:05] image to convey it but I think I got it and it's a Kindle fire show some respect boy oh boy a great company what's another set piece in this movie the raptors hunting them shrug then the leasing there's a car chase shit chase shit but even that

[01:15:19] like there's so much fucking shit in this movie and I swear this is what I'm setting up with the merchandise spotlight but there should even just like that vehicle they got where the chairs extend from the sides so they can get a better shot just feels like

[01:15:30] a fucking toy it just feels like they were like you know what I'm saying yeah no totally Jurassic Park was one of the biggest merchandise movies of all time and this is the like peak of that era of filmmaking like Batman Robin is a toy addict was the

[01:15:42] toy to use the executives would sit there and go can you make it more toy addict can you add more characters can you have a sequence where this happens you know and there was the famous story where in Pocahontas the executives met with the toy company executives met

[01:15:58] with the filmmakers this better be quick it's quick it's quick and said oh you know be fun is if you have a toy a scene where Miko the raccoon braids Pocahontas's hair and they throw it in there for no reason it was because they just developed

[01:16:11] the technology to like to like have hair braiding in an action figure so they made like a fucking Pocahontas and it was so clear they had the prototype before they told them to write the scene where it's like oh you got a little Miko remote control

[01:16:22] and he braids the hair fucking whatever but this just feels like Jurassic Park was already one of the biggest toy movies ever because kids love dinosaurs and for the first time there was a real proprietary dinosaur brand right like dinosaurs had no license so anyone could

[01:16:36] make dinosaur toys and they famously came up with this thing the JP mark on the leg this was a big deal do you remember this no because I don't care about this stuff Jurassic Park toys had this like brand on their leg that was a logo

[01:16:48] that was a J and a P connected so that it would be like if you show up to school and you got some fucking lame non-license wrap it up box dinosaur toy they knew you were a fucking loser you had to have the JP on the leg

[01:17:00] and they were huge the toys wildly successful and then they sold some humans and this movie it felt like they were like hey Steve could you put more vehicles in it that's enough merchandise well not yet because here's my spotlight baby oh okay you want to do

[01:17:12] another thing yeah sure the only other thing I feel like we should talk about is the San Diego stuff yeah we'll talk about yeah a thing I always liked as a kid was we just talked about how like toy companies would be like hey maybe

[01:17:25] put this in the movie right but sometimes there were toys where I would see the toys in the store before the movie and be like that's going to be a cool scene and it wouldn't be in there and it was so clear the toy company was just like

[01:17:34] this is what we wish happened in the movie so they made like the main kind of the big you know gold watch item of the Lost World line was the Bull T-Rex right one of the two T-Rexes in the film and they did the massive scale

[01:17:48] and it had the sounds and it was big and it was rubbery and whatever but it had this weird fucking feature which was it came with a guy in a cage okay so here's the scared dude right he's like shivering it's like a Don Knott's character right

[01:18:04] and he's in this cage holding on to these two handles his teeth are clenched right okay and then this like closed over it so he's in like a steel cage almost like it jaws right when Dreyfus goes in the thing and the premise was the hook

[01:18:16] to the toy was that the T-Rex could swallow it and then poop it out but the idea was the narrative was that this guy wanted to explore the inside of a T-Rex so they built this cage so that he could survive being eaten by a T-Rex cool

[01:18:31] which is such a weird fucking premise that they were like you know what we don't know what those guts look like I would actually love to see that in a movie that was the thing it seemed like such a cool fucking scene and I was like

[01:18:40] that's out there and then it always felt like when my friends would have that toy it'd be more fun to play with that and pretend that that happened in the movie than anything that actually happened in the god damn movie well thank you for your nice spotlight

[01:18:52] what do you think of the San Diego stuff? here's what they do in the San Diego stuff they tranquilize the T-Rex and decide to bring it to San Diego for their stadium bad idea oh the T-Rex escapes from the boat what a surprise we've all seen King Kong

[01:19:05] it eats everyone on the boat and turns them into limbs yup guts and now it's walking around stuff and you get a lot of Spielberg shots of kids looking out their window some yeah it's honestly not that much no it's like what's what is this

[01:19:16] there's the one big one of the kid in the bedroom well yeah that's the only one that really is the dino eating I'll give Spielberg this the dinosaur the dog dinosaur he's got some guts so he still lets the dino gets the dino to eat the dog

[01:19:27] Spielberg has some guts and that dino has some guts in his tummy because he just ate a doggie sir now guys when you see like a huge boat coming towards you sure you just hang out and watch boys yeah you want to see how it ends right

[01:19:40] you want to see if the is the boat going to stop or is it going to crash into this documon 100% I always do that always every day that's what I do every day this is in Sarcasm Island no no please this is sincerity peninsula uh okay

[01:19:58] I don't know what else to say about this movie I mean this is this was a big misstep for Spielberg right the T-Rex eats Harleys hour the T-Rex eats Harleys hour and then he goes home yeah and then the conclusion of the movie is

[01:20:09] the dinos are on the island right so it's like happy ever after fuck nothing in this movie mattered you know like I said they just shouldn't have gone there right like all that's changed is a couple dinos and a couple people have done

[01:20:21] the idea is that it's now gonna be like a nature preserve and this is a mistake that he makes it's in Jurassic Park in that if they had never gone in the first place I know in Jurassic Park the movie is not equating dinosaurs to animals no

[01:20:33] the thing that this movie and Jurassic World both do yeah and like those are both movies about like zoos and the perils of zoos and like animal rights and things like that and I don't think that's like the craziest metaphor to draw I just don't think it works

[01:20:47] and in uh this in Jurassic Park no it's about man's mistake it's about like what Ian Malcolm's babbling about all the chaos theory stuff all of the sort of like you can't impose a simple structure on a complex system stuff I love that stuff what this is about

[01:21:01] is we should leave animals alone it's the consequences of buying a zoo it is thank you Ben it is if anything I mean I'm giving the too much the movie too much credit by saying this if anything the movie almost reads as an interesting criticism of itself

[01:21:20] I'm just like we shouldn't have gone back there's nothing to be gained from going back again that that's about as good as you're gonna get in terms of like yeah interesting analysis that's the most interesting read I think you could throw on the movie

[01:21:29] and it still doesn't make the movie interesting to watch it's like the movie's convincing you not to watch it while you're watching it you know yeah um but it's massively successful I had the biggest opening weekend of all time it opens Memorial Day

[01:21:40] it like blew the doors off of fucking everything well do you do you want to play the box office game or something is that what you're saying hell yeah baby are you saying that you want to play the box office game or something

[01:21:52] I want to play that box office game the Memorial Day weekend 1997 opens May 23rd it's a four day Memorial Day weekend in 1997 it's the number one movie of that week it makes 100 in the first four days 90 million dollars in the first four days humongous unprecedented

[01:22:06] which I believe was the uh the highest opening weekend of the time for a long time until Spider-Man in 2001 I believe Harry Potter beat it because Harry Potter got with those that was 95 maybe but yeah the first Harry Potter in 2001 got within striking distance of 100 it was like 95 96

[01:22:23] Spider-Man's the first one was the first 100 and it breezed past Spider-Man did 114 I'll never forget that weekend and then Aquaman did 115 in the entourage universe as a box office kid the Spider-Man hit 100 because my dad and I would just go do you think a movie is ever

[01:22:36] gonna make a hundred opening weekend and it kept on lost world got close you know with four days Harry Potter got close with three days but I was like I don't know and then Spider-Man just fucking swung past it we believe that a hero could save us

[01:22:49] we weren't gonna stay in there and wait yep hold on to the okay chat wings all right so number one what's number two number two okay number two is a classic example of counter-programming okay it is a romantic comedy directed by Griffin Dunne

[01:23:06] oh well you gave it away addicted to love I've never heard of this movie Matthew Broderick Meg Ryan Kelly Preston you're saying the names but it's all new to me I like Griffin Dunne I mean I know I know his work because he's got your name yeah yeah

[01:23:21] we're I know him a little bit too oh okay well that's nice for you us griffons have to stick together it opens you realize two of the three Amazon pilots that got picked up in that in that season start different in both um

[01:23:33] us griffs we gotta hang together addicted to love opens to 11 million dollars and makes 30 something overall I don't know that the counter programming really worked what's that movie about I think the premise of that movie is that there are two people who just gotten dumped and are angry

[01:23:47] and decide to start dating to make their exes jealous but then they actually fall in love I think it's something like that I mean okay that's Meg Ryan's got an X who I forget who it is and the Matthew Broderick's X is Kelly Preston and they're

[01:23:59] I think team up to Meg Ryan's X is a checkie Cairo Kario oh of course I'm so surprised I forgot that the Turkish actor who's like the 14th leading golden eye okay yeah that's definitely counter programming so number three was number one the week before it drops only 30

[01:24:16] it's making 8 million this week and it's third weekend so it'd be number one for two weeks and it's made 46 it's gonna make 63 total so it kind of kicked off the summer but wasn't a mega hit was not a mega hit it's a film that I really love

[01:24:35] from a yeah I don't know there's more clues I could give you give me a Jean it's a science fiction film that's the Jean yeah my mom does that have I told you that she speaks in perfect English and then she'll go what a Jean was the film

[01:24:49] and I always tell her shut the fuck up okay it's a science fiction film made 60 million dollars you like it a lot it was number one for two weeks but still didn't do a massive amount of mine no it's doing okay 1987 science fiction it was the most

[01:25:04] it comes out later that year this will probably give it away to you but it was the most expensive European film ever made the fifth element great movie love it yeah I always think that movie did better than it did it was like it's all right it's okay

[01:25:17] I think it did really well overseas yes yeah I love that movie the next film is a comedy and it's a spoof oh a spoof and goof it's a spoof is it a goof though and uh yeah it's a bit of a goof and it's

[01:25:31] it's a huge hit based on budget it was a fairly small budget film that made 50 plus million dollars at the box office and it was kind of a cult sensation but was totally overshadowed by its sequel interesting its sequel really really popped yes sir okay

[01:25:49] and it's a spoof it's like a straight up spoof of a specific thing it's a spoof of a specific kind of genre it's not like a specific spoof I'm actually embarrassed that I asked the follow because I know what it is right right it's awesome powers

[01:25:59] international man of master yeah yeah that's it which I rewatched recently hey guess what that movie's really fucking good great movie really funny I was so scared to rewatch it now easily the funniest of the three no question yeah but I also

[01:26:13] that was one of my absolute favorite movies ground that was like one of a couple of movies that I got really obsessed with right and that was like my favorite franchise I was more into that spoof franchise than most serious franchises right because Toy Story 2

[01:26:27] hadn't come out yet like that was like a real thing to latch on to I was so worried that it was gonna have like the effect of I've had to hear so many people fucking parody it and then parodying the parodying and then the uncle stuff

[01:26:40] that movie's still a perfect fucking comedy it's great joke for joke everything's funny in that movie it's also really well designed okay that's enough about Austin Powers one of the spoof's that like young frankenstein style gets the look right yeah no you're right actually that's a

[01:26:53] that's a good call especially the first one which yeah no I two and three get a little overblown the first one has the rightest the first one's got the right a second the second and third are just trying to top themselves yeah whatever great movie

[01:27:03] five out of five would watch again yeah and also those are the movies where Mike Myers is only playing good funny well developed characters being funny in two and three Austin stops being funny in two and three he's kind of funny in two he's not funny in three

[01:27:18] a little bit he's all right but like he figures it out at the end of one which makes him yeah there's less tension in the character I know but there's only something almost funny about the bat fact in two that he's just sort of like really relaxed

[01:27:30] I agree because he's obviously so bizarre which one because Mike Myers has like good timing and yeah he's but you watch the first movie and it's like that character is of course the joke is on Austin Powers and not on whatever doctor I mean

[01:27:41] can I say something crazy yes I'd give Mike Myers best actor that year I'd have to think about it probably not I think I'd give it no Guy Pearce is my winner right that's the year that Nicholson wins for as good as it gets okay

[01:27:54] so the fifth movie is a thriller it's a good thriller real thriller like an Ashley Judd it stars a man who we've discussed on this podcast an actor that could be anyone David it's true we've discussed this director on this podcast though none of his films

[01:28:14] directly but we've discussed you know some of his movies indirectly and I think this was his I think this was his first movie interesting you know a noble start I think it's an R rated film the film is you know it's it's fourth week it's made 38

[01:28:29] it's gonna make 50 mil I like I don't know what the fuck I could tell you about give me the lead actor I'll give you the director Jonathan Moss down oh fuck his first movie is it's not his first movie this is the first movie

[01:28:42] is Beverly Hills body snatchers geez so this is the one before you five seven one yeah god this is second film I can't I can't remember it's breakdown with Kurt Russell oh geez yeah okay and JT Walsh and and Stephen Segal famously they sold as being like a

[01:28:58] co-lead and then he dies no no no that's the other one that's the other one that's not this one that's the plain one yeah that's is that executive decision yes I always get those two confused breakdown sure okay so you know breakdown it's it's a movie

[01:29:08] it's a movie it's out there yeah not the most exciting because like Jurassic Park just shadowed over anybody everybody and this is the summer where everyone knew Jurassic Park was coming you had to clear it made 229 million total 618 I was almost on the on the dollar

[01:29:22] when I guessed earlier I said someone like 225 but it was of course not the biggest movie of 1997 97 because Titanic was the biggest Titanic came out and did even did men in black outgrow us correct 250 he'd be a good blank check Paris-Saint-Fel yeah yeah but you know what the

[01:29:43] problem is you have to watch a lot of shitty movies yeah you have to watch nine lives it ends on nine lives did he make RV runaway vacation yes he did boy did he make big trouble big trouble God a lot of stinkers but but listen

[01:29:55] the way you get to cover Adams family love it Adams family values even better men in black oh get shorty right four movies that rule men in black too wild wild west yeah big trouble RV runaway vacation men in black three there's one other shitty one in there

[01:30:14] I'm forgetting um yeah it's a bummer did he do be cool no he didn't do be who does a fucking F. Gary Gray it's an F. Gary Gray it's a piece of shit yeah um son and fell I mean I'd love to talk about men black someday

[01:30:29] if only so we have an avenue we have never on this podcast pitched our men in black too which I don't know if our listeners know this we probably referenced it off-hand David and I fixed men in black two one we did it was great

[01:30:41] we were at a bar men in black two was playing we were bemoaning how bad it is and then we sat down and went is there any way you could make a good sequel and Jesus Christ that we nail it I brag about it all the time

[01:30:50] because they should give us a time machine send us back to fucking take a pass of that men in black two script we're never gonna do this many series though for love of money that's the other one for love or money is the other Barry son felt movie

[01:31:04] yeah what movie is that it's a movie with Michael J. Fox and uh geez Gabriella Anwar okay anyway so uh that's the box office game it was a huge hit oh some of the other movies right father's day oh yeah with uh crystal and Robin Williams Billy Williams

[01:31:21] I haven't right one movie Robin crystal you've got lyre lyre which uh was a favorite of mine as a young boy huge huge massive hit Jim Carrey getting back to broad comedies yeah that is in lyre lyres in its 10th week and it's in May it's 164 million dollars

[01:31:37] I think it end up at like 170 181 geez Louise volcano the costas toast I always have to that costas I always have to say that tagline yeah uh night falls on Manhattan what the fuck is that it's a Sydney Lumet a bad Sydney Lumet movie with Andy Garcia

[01:31:54] and Richard Dreyfus yeah but you know Sydney Lumet falls in that category where you can learn a lot from a bad Sydney Lumet movie Anaconda is in there oh which is sort of like that's like the final lapping of the the Jurassic Park ripple

[01:32:07] sort of washing up on the beach creature features yeah it's like it's an Anaconda movie that movie is obviously out of its goddamn mind you've seen that movie that movie's that was Gordy Romy and Michelle's High School reunion okay I love yeah well that was the lost world

[01:32:23] Jurassic Park and uh next week we'll be covering Amistad which is the first official Dreamworks movie and Spielberg's attempt to complete the second half of his miracle year both halves of which failed but this is certainly a case for me of I would say the other one

[01:32:41] works better but they certainly both fail yeah this is certainly a case of Spielberg uh feeling like I can do this I'm Steven Spielberg I don't even have Jurassic Park I can do this I'll do the thing I did last time he's kind of acknowledged

[01:32:51] that the movie doesn't work right right yes more recently like he knows Steven Spielberg is an interesting figure because he's very self-aware yeah he'll usually you know give him a little time he's pretty clear right about his career he also like he says he thinks Hook sucks

[01:33:05] and now there's the stupid wave of people who like act like Hook isn't a fucking disaster you know these young youngins these people who are our age like Hook is good look Steven Spielberg himself is like you're wrong I'm glad you like it

[01:33:20] but it's not a good move no it's not it's bad it's my biggest mistake it's a fucking I mean the reason people like Hook is like because they saw it when they were fine that's the main reason I mean but also you know it's got all these sets

[01:33:31] and like you want it to be good like Dustin Hoffman's doing something he definitely is you know so like there's things to like in it but uh you never sat down and watched it yeah oh it's a nightmare I had never seen the thing in its entirety

[01:33:43] until about a year ago Oh I saw it in theaters Yeah I didn't I saw it about a year ago and I was like this blows here's the other thing oh my god all these big sets guess what the sets are really fucking ugly they're

[01:33:53] they're a bit much that movie is so garish to look at so it's like free-basing fucking pixie sticks so oh yeah Hook is focused right somebody on the internet recently who I won't name was like I just don't even get it like it's Halloween or something

[01:34:11] when I'm like why does everyone talk about Hook is focused like it's good and it's like it was on TV a lot when we were children now we're in our 20s and 30s people write uh internet articles for those people yeah why is this hard

[01:34:23] for people to understand shit was on TV a lot man yeah guess what everybody saw Hook we have to stop canonizing things just because we saw them when we were young but that's like don't be surprised like it's just collective fuck that noise fuck that noise let's elevate

[01:34:36] good movies let's talk about them seriously that had been said rocket man's a masterpiece yeah rocket man's good all right so uh yeah so you know fuck your nostalgia al-mustad next baby yeah here's a movie none of you have any nostalgia for a movie people go wait

[01:34:52] oh right yeah oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay yeah which is interesting counterpoint much like Vince Vaughn in this movie who we barely even discussed al-mustad kind of tries to do the same thing with McConaughey after McConaughey popped and they were like this guy should be

[01:35:08] a movie star right and no one could figure out how to apply him McConaughey's pretty good in al-mustad but it didn't really click well he was in a time to kill as well you know he was coming I'm saying time to kill was the one where he popped

[01:35:17] and then this was the one where they were like we're gonna talk about al-mustad next week great get ready to listen to al-mustad is what Ben said right Ben yeah love you Ben and uh and that's the show that's our show that's our show that was the show

[01:35:33] this was the first episode if pod me if you cast nice job really rolls up the time oh shit what well one last thing oh my god what they go to the original Jurassic Park and he uses a radio and it's covered in branches and stuff overgrown technology

[01:35:51] that's it this is the new thing you like as technology that's had stuff grow over it yeah boy this isn't happening in this movie does it it sure does doesn't makes a radio call to get the helicopter to come pick them up no they don't go to the

[01:36:06] original and they just go to like a station yeah I get you you like overgrown technology overgrown technology new thing it's all right big it's wet it's good you like it big wet 10 out of 10 okay thank you for listening please remember to review subscribe tell tell friends

[01:36:20] convert blankies post on our reddit buy all the merchandise we have set up by now yeah totally what if we just now that we're recording all these episodes in advance make a bunch of promises that we then have to fulfill I love that great

[01:36:32] okay so buy the merchandise that we have set up by now buy our tap tap game yeah we're recording this episode in March of 1999 so hopefully by the time it comes out in January of 2017 podcasts will have been invented yeah yeah okay all of that

[01:36:49] and and as always Jurassic World is still like so so much worse definitely like it's like a fucking like aggressively uninteresting movie made by a hack and it's also like like culturally toxic great like it's bad and someone should like kick that guy in the dick

[01:37:05] they should find Colin Trevill all right all right they should kick him in the dick but kick his dick so hard that he can't film a fucking Star Wars movie hey come on you shouldn't be allowed to make a fucking fan of menace movie

[01:37:22] pod me if you cast is the only one I've found that like makes any sense at all because it's the only one with enough words in it David what a I really like pod me if you cast because see the either the last pod Jurassic cast which sucks

[01:37:37] right no that sucks that would be like if we were doing a 10 episode mini series about the last right that's the problem it sounds like it's franchise specific saving private Ryan about a pod cast PC pod official cast hellegeance how pod me if you cast is good

[01:37:57] yeah pod me if you cast is the only one I can pod already cast oh I do like Indiana Jones in the kingdom of the Crystal Skull podcast pod of the cast that's too long though David yeah I think it should be longer you're right how about Armacast

[01:38:14] how about the pod ventures of tincast how about saving podcast Ryan oh wait well I came with a better one what about the pod ventures of cast cast I mean that's but then it sounds like we have a tinted podcast I think that's about the larger franchise

[01:38:33] and intellectual property of tinted I think pod me if you cast is pretty good yeah I think that's what we have to do right yeah I mean let's yeah unless you think Indiana Jones in the kingdom of the Crystal Skull podcast

[01:38:43] well if I was going to do it I would do poddy and a cast and the podcast of the kingdom cast podcast no you it would be poddy on a cast podcast Jones poddy and a cast come on that we that's good so podcast Jones and the kingdom

[01:39:02] of the the benduser I don't know the name of the series is pod me if you cast right okay great pod me if you cast that's a good solution there you go I did it okay are we ready to go yeah is that more yeah I like that

[01:39:20] okay I was turning it down a bit because Ben was blasting the letigra was a little letigra mood yeah I know Ben did you ever play the video game Steven Spielberg's director's chair no I was on the mac me and Ben had a half hour conversation

[01:39:37] about mac video game because he was mac only baby that's right I'm not okay I'm gonna this is I'll say this this has always been my waterloo is I've always wanted to have a gold bloom impression I've never been able to you don't have one

[01:39:51] I'm gonna try it but I just I never feel okay well I've even come close I mean if it's bad then I'll make fun of you it's gonna be bad and you're gonna make fun great okay you ready this has been a UCB comedy production

[01:40:01] check out our other shows on the UCB comedy podcast network