The Portrait of a Lady with Marie Bardi

[00:00:00] Blank Check with Griffin and David, Blank Check with Griffin and David, don't know what to say or to expect, and check and the cadence I think I have. There's certain ways he pronounces certain words that I have not exactly nailed.

[00:00:44] I really buy the argument that he is, that he makes, that he is a bad actor but there's just nobody like him. Like that's Malkovich's argument.

[00:00:53] Look this is going to be 25% of Malkovich episode. Have we ever talked Malkovich on the pod before? I know we've invoked him. We've invoked the mighty Malkovich. And then, and yet he's never come.

[00:01:05] I'm like in seven years have we never covered a movie that he isn't here. I'm calling up the filmography. I don't know. Cause you didn't do Creed. Well, Beowulf. He is in Beowulf. Creepy CGI Malkovich doesn't really count. Favorite actor of all time.

[00:01:21] But you know when doing Spielberg you don't do Empire of the Sun. We haven't done Empire of the Sun. We'll do it someday. Man he's got a lot of credits. He's one of those guys who works more than you think.

[00:01:32] Yeah, he's got to maintain his like Lisbon club. You guys know about that? Yeah and his weird fashion line. Ben perked up. Okay. John Malkovich owns like a bar and restaurant or like a dance club in Lisbon Portugal. A lovely place.

[00:01:50] Yes, I've never been there. I've heard it's cool. But it's kind of an interesting like side gig he has. But John Malkovich also has a clothing line because he was like no one was making the blazers I wanted to wear. We did a Secretariat episode, right?

[00:02:08] We did too. I bet we did a Randall Wallace miniseries. Let's see. I'm still going and I'm not seeing apart from Beowulf of course. Look up Ben just while David's doing this Google Malkovich clothing line.

[00:02:22] Yeah, no look I mean one of the most fascinating figures in the acting world. We've never done him apart from Beowulf.

[00:02:33] So we're going to go deep on it because this is, it's not like this is his quintessential performance but in a certain way this is a movie where you really start thinking about like what is Malkovich's deal? Why is he so compelling? Sexual malevolence.

[00:02:45] There's so many things going on. He's a sun-dried tomato actor in my opinion. What does that mean? If you put him on a sandwich it's not like it's automatically going to be bad but it's going to dominate in your mouth.

[00:03:00] When you eat this you're certainly going to be like getting some sun-dried tomato out of this bite. A little oily. A little leathery. If you see a sun-dried tomato on a sandwich you're like I gotta prep myself or whatever.

[00:03:12] And you're sort of like what were they sure they knew what they were doing putting the sun-dried tomato on the sandwich? And sometimes you're like you know what I love it. You know what this is great. When he's used well it's like oh he's the best actor alive.

[00:03:27] Very aggressive choice to include John Malkovich in any movie. I guess. Has he ever been in something where you're like oh he's in that don't remember? Like he didn't make an impression on me in that. He's never not made an impression. Right?

[00:03:39] No he's a very memorable screen presence. David's invoked this for people who don't know. This famous story of you know if you have not seen Rounders he does one of the most inaccurate and over-the-top accents of all time. Have you seen Rounders? I have seen Rounders.

[00:03:54] Do you know the story? Well. It was on Bill Simmons' podcast. I think I've heard the story. He's told this like a number of times now. Please. That's right. Please re-relevant the story. John Malkovich does for the Russian community in Rounders what Dick Van Dyke did.

[00:04:09] Did for Cockney Chimney Sweeps. Yeah sure. Right. And perhaps with a little less technical accuracy. And. It's a good performance. I like it. Yeah and Damon and fucking Norton. Playing a character called Teddy KGB just to be just in case it wasn't offensive.

[00:04:23] Well the character is so subtly written. But Damon and Norton are like the two fucking anointed like are these the next great leading men? But they're kids. They're serious. They're fucking hardcore. Right. And Malkovich shows up on his first day and he's doing this insane like

[00:04:40] I am going to go all in on this hand. Yes. Like accent. Like they've all been waiting with bated breath for him to arrive on set. Heavy hitter. We're working with an elder stage. He starts doing that accent and Damon's just like everyone is like the fuck is.

[00:04:54] Right. They call cut. Right. John Dahl comes over. He's like man maybe try this differently. No notes for Malkovich. And it's like take two and Malkovich goes even bigger. And he's like we're going to let's actually change to a 35 and this and that. John keep it up.

[00:05:12] And Damon's like reflects and he's like is this a prank on me. Right. And Malkovich at some point clocks his incredulity and goes like come in. Wait a moment. Got something to tell you. Do you want to do the delivery? No you do it. Go ahead.

[00:05:29] He goes you know my secret is I'm a terrible actor. It's a great story. It's a great story. You think all the time. There are also all these quotes from Malkovich where he's like acting is very easy. A moron could do it. A dog could do it.

[00:05:47] It's not I don't understand why anyone's impressed. There are also these things about him where he's like there's stories from people who were part of Steppenwolf with him at the time where they were like he is so right wing that it felt like a put on.

[00:06:04] He certainly is. Wait. He is crazy politics to this day. Yeah. He would like throw parties when there were lethal injections and they'd be like is this edgelord stuff and he'd be like no I like it when justice is served.

[00:06:16] I mean he's one of those guys where he's like I haven't voted since I like voted for George McGovern in 1972. He lives in France now right. Primarily in the south. He lives in Europe. I guess right in France. He you know he hates paying taxes.

[00:06:29] He's always complaining about that but then he'll occasionally be like I'd like to shoot that politician what a gas bag he is or you know like a lot of guns. Is that just like a riff on his role in the line of fire.

[00:06:42] I don't know but it's like maybe that's why he was good maybe it's where they cast him. Right no I'm sorry yes he left France. Okay. In a dispute over taxes. He now lives in Cambridge Massachusetts. Okay wow. He lives in Cambridge Massachusetts.

[00:06:53] Go look him up knock on some doors. Wow. One Malkovich road. It's blankies if you have any good Malkovich stories please drop us a line on social media. I mean you've now invoked what our listenership is called blankies.

[00:07:05] We should mention that this is a blank check with Griffin and David. I'm Griffin. I'm David. It's a podcast about filmographies directors who have massive success early on in their careers like say the piano and are given a series of blank checks make whatever crazy

[00:07:18] passion products they want like say portrait of a lady and sometimes those checks clear and sometimes they bounce baby like say portrait of a lady. It was about it's a mini series on the films of Jane Campion. It's called the podcast. It's called the podcast.

[00:07:35] Yeah no I actually will advance an argument here. Oh yes this movie made three million dollars which isn't very much and it probably costs more than that. It's boy I think 24 I think it costs like 20 more so that's so that's not great.

[00:07:48] Yeah and I don't think they're like selling it to Netflix this year and getting tons or whatever. It's actually imagine imagine like the fucking tweets about like the town is coming to Netflix in two days about portrait of a lady going on there. This movie is unrentable.

[00:08:03] I mean it is well it was on criterion for a while. Well it might have been on criterion it was on Paramount plus that you could have rented it through it'll pop up and out it will now it's available on Blu-ray through shout factory.

[00:08:16] It sure got the Blu-ray. Amazon you can't rent it from any of these places. Not nice. What are they trying to hide? It was also apparently like not in circulation. I mean not only did the Blu-ray take a long time but I think there was not an American

[00:08:28] DVD. Her movies are underrepresented on disc. It's sort of weird. This one has the Blu-ray but like in the cut has never been released on Blu-ray in America. Excuse me there's that weird set that I bought. Yeah there's the weird set. Six degrees collection. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

[00:08:43] Which is it's it's a Kevin Bacon box set that Mill Creek put out for those who don't know is usually like a bargain basement budget home video company. It's the six degrees collection. Here's what's included on it. The Kevin Bacon collection in the cut. Flatliners. Hollow Man.

[00:09:03] The Big Picture. The Christopher Guest movie. What's it called trapped or a band trapped. And then the sixth one is the fucking Adam McGuire where the truth lies. Not a terrible movie. Isn't that a recent even calling the in the cut a Kevin Bacon movie. He's a psychotic.

[00:09:22] He's in it. I know that whole collection is psychotic. Is it for a few scenes. The six degrees. You're right that is that is technically the only way. That's the only way to get it. Wow. But anyway. Bright Star has never been released on Blu-ray.

[00:09:35] I believe no right. No. It's weird that that's not a criterion movie or whatever. I don't know what I think there's weird right stuff. I'm sure I feel like it's often the answer. Maybe it might be coming. Yeah but especially now with yes. How are the dog.

[00:09:48] I think Portrait of a Lady making four million dollars domestic and getting two Oscar nominations basically is a clear. It basically counts as a clear for a movie this like difficult. That's almost impressive. This is a phenomenon I want to talk about.

[00:10:06] Which is it's sort of it touches a little bit on our friend Joe Reed and his podcast. This had Oscar buzz but it's the sort of like movie after the Oscar breakthrough where the expectations are so fucking high.

[00:10:22] And it's like they're doing this this subject matter or adapting this or working with these actors they have this cast. They're getting this budget level and it comes out and there's like a sense of complete deflation

[00:10:35] that it's not another like fucking wolf whistle masterpiece but it doesn't totally bomb and then it gets like a couple salvage nominations. I mean most recently I'm thinking of if Beale Street could talk right which did better than this which is certainly a masterpiece.

[00:10:51] It's a perfect example of like it wasn't Moonlight again. The thing that was smart about would be if Beale Street could talk was it came out so quickly after Moonlight that it was almost like let me just get that whole conversation out of the way right.

[00:11:02] But that's that's a good example. How are you following that's a rare one that gets like the one win right. But that's an example I feel like a members of a Geisha is an incredible example of that

[00:11:15] very long engagement after Amelie is one I've always been very fascinated with. That movie's good though. I like that movie a lot. I think very long this is my point. I think very often a lot of those movies end up being good.

[00:11:26] Like the king of this genre I would argue is Talented Mr. Ripley which now has been reclaimed as a masterpiece. But at the time absolutely. Yeah people were like with critics right. Interesting. And the Oscars. I know it's still got you know.

[00:11:41] So I think like 50 percent of the time with distance you're like oh that one actually ages better than the one that was the Oscar. Often true. Sure. What was John sometimes they sort of just what was John Madden's follow up to Shakespeare in love was a cat.

[00:11:56] Now that's an example of one that's just like. But that was the thing though. Like after I mean obviously no one came out of Shakespeare in love being like I got to see what John Madden's doing next. No offense to the guy.

[00:12:06] Sure but he had he certainly had clout. Yes I'm triple checking that it was his fault. Yes but Captain Crowley's Mandolin people mock it now because Nicolas Cage had a funny accent but that book was a 90s. Oh yeah. Best seller on every shelf type thing.

[00:12:18] So like he's making Captain Crowley great. And then you cast an American guy as an Italian and a Spanish woman is a Greek lady. Also producer Ben and Marie Barty are here. Yeah. Hey guys. Marie. And now non-binary folk. It's a party party. What's up?

[00:12:32] You wouldn't steal a DVD. Yeah I'm wearing a super yaki shirt that someone sent me for my birthday two years ago. I just think it's this movie is such a good example of that exact phenomenon.

[00:12:45] Which can play out different ways and there is that thing where it's like oh it's thought of as like a disaster but then you're like it got okay reviews and it did get a couple Oscar nominations. Scraped and right. I would say a surprising Harper Hershey nom.

[00:12:58] I know she got every precursor. It's not like it came out of nowhere but you watch this movie. She's great in the movie in my opinion. She's my favorite part of this movie.

[00:13:07] I agree but it's not like you watch this movie and you're like well I can see why the Oscars just had to give it to her. I think it's impressive that it you know stayed in the conversation. Who else was nominated that year?

[00:13:17] Is this the English patient year? Yeah. So Binoche won. 1996 right? It is yeah. Binoche wins. You're right. Binoche wins so this is the Binoche versus Lauren Bacall. Right. And then you've got Marianne Jean-Baptiste in Secrets and Lies. A great nom.

[00:13:30] And you know there's a world where she could have won because that's sort of almost a quasi lead role and like she's really good but… There's a world where she could have won if Miramax only had one of those two movies.

[00:13:41] And then Joan Allen and the Crucible which is just sort of that start of like Joan Allen gets a nom. You know that sort of late 90s thing. Was that the only nomination The Crucible got? Probably. That's like a movie that doesn't exist. That movie stinks.

[00:13:55] It got an adapted screenplay nomination for Arthur Miller. Okay. It's kind of like when they nominated Kenneth Branagh for adapting Hamlet. He didn't cut any part out of it. It's four hours long. He just sort of said like I'll film this. Yeah. Sorry.

[00:14:11] It's weirder than not to nominate Shakespeare. You should get credit on that. Exactly. Give it to Billy. Yeah. Give it to Billy. And Lauren Bacall-Jonas. Yeah. But and then Binoche. Right. Binoche is a quasi lead too. That's why she won partly.

[00:14:24] I mean America had English patient fever that year. Yeah. It was out of control. I mean in my opinion Binoche is the best part of the English patient. And it's a weird win when you think about Julia Binoche's career. I've never seen the English patient.

[00:14:37] I've never seen it either. Yeah. Wow. Because it was… I love the English patient. Favorite movie. When the English guy is patient. I love that. We should mention Ben is covered in bandages right now. Yeah. Absolutely. The English patient is not bad and yet it is.

[00:14:56] That's what I've heard. I would say maybe my least favorite Minghella. What are his other movies outside of Ripley and Colt Mountain? Yeah. Okay. It's probably better than Breaking and Entering. Although that movie is interesting.

[00:15:08] His other movies are Truly Madly Deeply, Colt Mountain and Talents of Mr. Ripley. Okay. I've only seen Ripley which is in the Barney canon. Ripley is his best. Yeah. What's Colt Mountain about? Brrr. No it's actually very complicated.

[00:15:25] It's like a Civil War epic where a guy is on this Odyssean journey back home. Also starring the star of Portrait of a Lady, Nicole Kidman. That's true. I mean Colt Mountain is half an awesome movie and then Nicole Kidman half in my opinion.

[00:15:38] It's got great stuff in it. It's got great stuff in it. It looks cool. Yeah. Got Jack White in it. Jack White. He's like playing the fiddle. Hey that's fun. Is that how he met Renee? I think it is. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

[00:15:52] For those who don't know, Jack White and Renee Zellweger were a couple for a minute. Things I was going to say. When one of her two deserved Oscars. JK. At Barbara Kirshenbrough. You have to remember she starts acting when she's like a teenager. She's on TV.

[00:16:09] In that Frank Perry movie which is one of the most horrifying movies I've ever seen. What's it called? Last Summer. Yes. Oh my god. Why? And then she marries David Carradine. Yep. And she's like this very public like hippie child and she changes her name to Barbara

[00:16:24] Siegel because she's on the set of a movie and she sees a seagull die over her head. That is the Frank Perry movie. Right. She felt the spirit entered her. And she's like kind of a gossip rag sort of fixation for like this kooky hippie girl. Yeah.

[00:16:43] Where she can't get any respect as an actor. Her marriage overwhelms it. I think she becomes right they become like a couple unit in the eyes of. Right. Somebody. Right. She's so good in Boxcar Bertha. Yeah.

[00:16:54] That's like the first movie where someone's really kind of like figuring out what to do with her and then it's like her career doesn't really take off until the 80s at which point she's like 15 years in. Beaches and Last Temptation baby.

[00:17:05] Beaches, Last Temptation obviously Hannah and her sister. Really good Hannah and her sister. She wins back to back best actress awards at Cannes. Is that so? Yes. Shy People and the other one I'm forgetting the name of. Oh Shy People that's been on my list for a minute.

[00:17:18] Yes. It's that Russian director right? Yes it's the guy who directed Tango and Cat. A World Apart. Yeah. Is the other one which was like a sort of a shared win like all the women were given best actress in that film. Weird.

[00:17:30] But she's like the above the title. I believe she is and it's like that's a uh the next year so that is crazy. So I'm just saying like I was digging into her. She's so good in Last Temptation. Yeah.

[00:17:41] But but she gets the Globe for that the nomination she doesn't get the Oscar nomination. Too much controversy. She got two BAFTA nominations she didn't get the Oscar nomination. Portrait of a Lady is sort of it just feels like the Academy going like

[00:17:53] fine we accept Barbara Hershey you're a legitimate actor. Well you know what. Like she's just had a good 10 years. Agreed with that. Yeah. Agreed with that. I do think it's part of the and they got critics awards and all that but um.

[00:18:04] Her two BAFTA nominations the first was for Hannah and her sisters. Right. What was the second for? The second one's something bizarre right. Black Swan. Right. That was kind of her comeback. I love it. She wasn't really in anything notable right.

[00:18:15] No that was a portrait of a lady. I love it when the BAFTAs do that. Yeah. I wish they'd do it more. I think they are starting to do it more again. They're getting weirder again.

[00:18:23] There was a period where they were kind of like just being an Oscar precursor. I feel like they nominated Tilda Swinton for Burn After Reading which is another nomination. I love that. They might have. That's fun. They also famously nominated Eddie Murphy for Best Supporting Actor. For Shrek?

[00:18:36] Let me check my notes. Well you beat me to it. Wait really? Yeah. Is that the only vocal performance they've ever nominated? Probably. Right because I think they did. That was in the year they also nominated Robbie Coltrane for Harry Potter. Like it's a very fun year. Yeah.

[00:18:50] It's a very fun year. There's one year where they nominated like four different supporting performances from Vera Drake. They nominated like every sad couple. That's the most funny thing of all time. You're correct however that they nominated Brad Pitt and Tilda Swinton for Burn After Reading.

[00:19:05] Brad Pitt, incredible nomination for Burn After Reading. But see I maybe would have given Malkovich. Well you love that character. That's like my favorite. Yeah. Yeah. One of my favorite characters. Listen to our Double Threat episode. Double Threat.

[00:19:21] All of this to say I think there was this Barbara Hershey like finally the academy gives in and recognizes her. And then as you said Marie she kind of like that's sort of the end of her really strong run.

[00:19:32] But it was Sir Random was supposed to play this part. Oh in this. Drops out and then she offered it to Sigourney who of course she wants Sigourney to do the piano. And then Sigourney passes and then it goes to Barbara Hershey. A great performance. Yeah. I like.

[00:19:49] I like all the performances in this movie. Malkovich is the one that requires the most debate but I think he's well cast. I think. Like as that character. Yeah I think he's well cast as that character especially with Campion's interpretation of

[00:20:04] that character which I think is putting it in more of the realm of like a sexual malevolence versus him being an artist and an aesthete. Those elements are there but I think she's prioritizing the sexuality of him. You have read this book Marie? No I have not.

[00:20:23] What? I thought you had. I'm sorry. I read the book. What? No. I own the book. I started reading the book this week. Okay. And then as I was reading it I'm like got you know I get you know X amount of pages in and

[00:20:37] I'm like none of this stuff has really happened in the movie yet. And then I like jump on Wikipedia. She cut out. She cut out the first third of the book so I was like oh I'm not going to finish it in time. Recording of this episode.

[00:20:47] Uh it's a long book and the first third right is all about her like rejecting the proposals and stuff which she condenses to like two minutes at the start of the movie. David look I don't mean to blow up your spot on my but I've been waiting.

[00:21:01] Oh my god are we about to propose to David? I'm not going to propose to David. Oh okay. He's married and I respect that. Wow okay. I respect the sanctity of his marriage. Cuck for fucking marriage over here. Um this episode has been on the spreadsheet for months.

[00:21:19] Okay. And I've been waiting for you to step up and do the noble thing and you have refused so I now need to call you out on Maine. I truly have no idea what he's about to say.

[00:21:28] You must recuse yourself from this episode because Portrait of a Lady was published in the Atlantic. It was which is actually something I had forgotten. You must recuse yourself. But it was published as a serial in the Atlantic. That is so crazy.

[00:21:41] A mere 130 years before they hired me. Yeah so you're all the same people. You're working with the same people today. You have so much in common with Henry James. You're both published in the Atlantic. You both are New Yorkers. Yeah we both are kissing.

[00:21:52] You are fascinated with Europeans. You love kissing. I mean. Sandwiches. Those that of course that's back in the uh when it was the Atlantic Monthly and it was published out of Boston. Mmm. Uh you know the Atlantic was the famous famous Boston institution until the 2000s. Yeah.

[00:22:11] Um uh but yeah isn't that funny? It's also funny because like God love Henry James but like he's no Dickens or whatever where you're like well I can see how this was like serialized. Right. And people were like I can't wait for the next you know.

[00:22:24] It doesn't feel like fucking Bonfire of the Vandals. Heavy dense stuff. What is Isabel Archer going to think next? Exactly like but it was serialized in the Atlantic Monthly from 1880 to 1881. Wow how interesting.

[00:22:37] I mean that was his thing was he thought this book was unadaptable and when he was first asked for permission to adapt it into play he was like the best scene in the book is her sitting in a chair thinking. Right.

[00:22:48] I don't know how you're going to do this. It's a very an internal. Well. Work. Let me go with the dossier then. David please. Uh just just a little context I know you have much to say Marie of course. I know you've looked at the dossier too.

[00:23:00] I have things to say to you David just for the record. Well you already launched with your. And Ben has things to say. I could say stuff. Ben's very capable of saying things. Well do your thing. Oh yeah okay.

[00:23:12] So after the piano wins the Palme d'Or at Cannes. Yes. And three Oscars and makes 40 million dollars despite being a sexual fantasia about you know piano keys and fucking. It's the blank check thing we talk about people are like I have no idea why the fuck this

[00:23:26] worked you couldn't design this movie clearly you're just on to something go off and do it again. It's a guarantor. Yeah skirt. Conilingus. Absolutely. Uh of course. Can I get that one more time. Delta. Yeah. Skirt. Conilingus. You're popping on the hoop. Okay.

[00:23:45] She's lined up this thing that she's always talks about in these early dossiers we see this movie called My Guru and His Disciple which is a memoir by Christopher Isherwood about his genius and his minions. Oh I'm sorry. His guru Swami.

[00:24:02] I'm not going to even try to say his name. I don't want to. Christopher Isherwood famously the writer of the story behind Cabaret correct. This is a long term thing that she said that she'd been talking about since like Angel

[00:24:14] at my table or whatever but it does not happen. I think part of the problem was I don't know that the screenplay kind of had trouble and they never could figure it out. It just goes on.

[00:24:29] It's like El Diablo Carpenter or whatever it's just one of those projects that never happens and instead she also is thinking about Portrait of a Lady her favorite book of all time. Okay.

[00:24:40] Which that's how I feel if I'm like Jane Campion and I'm suddenly people are knocking on my door I might be like well what's like my favorite book ever right like you start to get pie in the sky right. What is your favorite book ever. I don't know.

[00:24:53] I know. Fuck I'm on the spot. Someone else. I mean have you thought about like your dream adaptation if someone was like David here's your blank check because I've got mine. What's yours. Okay. Mine is another Henry James adaptation.

[00:25:07] I'd love to if anyone in Hollywood is listening and can help me with this or back off. Yeah. I do not steal it. Do not steal this idea. Adaptation of Washington Square. So another version of the heiress except it's adapted to be a Britney Spears type.

[00:25:22] That does sound like a Marie Barton project. It sounds like a Marie Barton. My mother wrote her college thesis on Washington Square. Really. Yes. Um you know stoner is one of my favorite books which is supposedly getting turned into a

[00:25:34] movie starring Casey Affleck like that's been happening for years. Who knows if it's gonna like Blumhouse is producing it which is as much as it's called stoner and I know Ben perked up at that it's like it's about a depressed middle-aged English professor but it's really really good.

[00:25:49] Blumhouse quietly three best picture nominees though. It's a thing that doesn't get talked. No it's true. They'll occasionally dip their toe in prestige. It's impressive that among all his other achievements Jason Blum has personally pulled down three best picture nomination.

[00:26:03] But everything I'm saying about this just it's just sort of like what you're saying like this book seems unadaptable no one had ever really you know figured out how to approach it but I guess Jane Cambrian is just like that's my favorite book.

[00:26:14] It like transformed how I think about things like there has to be a way for me to like crack that one open. Marie you tipped us off to the documentary on the special features. Yes.

[00:26:27] There is a behind the scenes doc it's on the Blu-ray but it also is on YouTube. It is fascinating. It's incredibly candid. You get to see actors feeling insecure about performances and being insane on set. Sort of just like verite fly on wall you're from distance.

[00:26:46] It's a little hard to hear a lot of what's saying because they're clearly just sort of like capturing a ship from a distance but the process of working over scenes take after take after take and like Shelley Winters and Nicole Kidman respond by just like emotionally

[00:27:01] breaking down and John Malkovich becomes very quietly hostile in a way that's surprising from John Malkovich or but but as Bill Hader would say he goes on a bizarrely articulate Jack. Um there's a line. I mean the Shelley Winters thing is especially fascinating because she's such a heavyweight

[00:27:19] you're sort of like this is Shelley Winters like this isn't her first rodeo like. But there's that thing she says where she's like everyone tells me this apparently a thing that like Shelley Winters likes to be like pushed into performances.

[00:27:32] I don't want to be a bully it makes me feel uncomfortable but like that's apparently what I have to do and I don't know whether I should tend to her or like. There are some very interesting and impactful things that happen to Jane Campion in between

[00:27:46] making the piano. Yes. And Portrait of a Lady. I'm about to get to that but first I want to read her quote about why she loves the book. One in 10,000 people read the novel and of those who read it many don't bother finishing

[00:27:57] it but I did this for myself sometimes in life you read things or see things that make what you're struggling with seem real or reasonable. I think Henry James has the gift of doing that for me he's grappled with telling stories

[00:28:10] that are profound and yet human so that's obviously relating to the fact that post piano. Well I want to get the yeah yeah right it's right after the piano in November 1993 Jane Campion has a baby Jasper and the baby dies after 10 days of life support he was born

[00:28:28] like with a deathly deep. She's pregnant at Cannes when she wins the Palme d'Or and by the time that she wins the Oscar she has lost the baby which means that she had to do all of her award season campaigning grieving the loss of her child.

[00:28:43] And that's unreal. Which is unreal. And then the other crazy thing is she because she has a daughter Alice Englert you can see her in movies that terrible movie about snakes a much better movie about witches I saw at

[00:28:54] Sundance this year but she was pregnant with her six months after Jasper died so Jasper died in November that's like April or whatever so it's like right after the Oscar it's so bananas. She said that you know it was supposed to be the best time of her life.

[00:29:11] That's exactly right. The success of her movie. Climb the mountain. And she it was the worst time of her life. There's an incredible quote from her in the dossier that's from a film comment interview

[00:29:20] like years later where she says like people say making movies isn't a cure for cancer. I disagree. Filmmaking is a cure. It gives you a reason for living. When my son died on the third day I was devastated. I didn't know what to do with myself.

[00:29:32] I went to see Orlando great movie. No one's great movie. It was so beautiful. The earth can be transformed. There are moments of wonder extreme wonder and that's all worth living for in an act of

[00:29:43] making a movie you are involved with those moments those transformations for me it's been a way of life that's totally fulfilling. Wow such a great quote. It's very sad but it's also very powerful.

[00:29:54] Yeah no I mean and she's directing this movie with a toddler on set and they like covered that in the documentary that trying to figure out how to balance those two parts of her brain.

[00:30:06] The thing that jumped out to me in the documentary which I only watch half of before I fall asleep but also it's just so fucking hard to hear what they're saying that I want to watch it

[00:30:14] like six times because I tried to put the fucking auto subtitling on YouTube and it made up nonsense gobbledygook. But she has the thing where she's like I tell people I'm doing portrait of a lady and people

[00:30:32] go oh I can't wait to see what you do with that what your take on it is and she's like I hadn't really thought that I needed a take or whatever or that I mean it's almost an

[00:30:43] admission from her that she's just like I'm just making another movie and that now there's an expectation of like oh what when we see portrait of a Henry James through the lens of James Campion. She's still like what I'm making movies right. Right right right.

[00:30:59] I mean that I think as you said it's her favorite book it's just like I'm just going to make the movie I would make off of this. I'm not really thinking of how to transform the material into this medium or whatever

[00:31:10] in that deliberate way but also that she's not thinking about how she is perceived and what people expect out of a James Campion movie. It's a weird level of famous. We're sorry. Well I think she I think she does have a take on the material.

[00:31:25] Yes and I think we're going to get into that but I also think that yes she is navigating a part in her career that is new to her right that is the weight of expectations the weight

[00:31:39] of the follow up which we talk about in every series we do on the show. Yeah. And you know it's interesting that we have this record of her on set right literally grappling with that.

[00:31:52] It's also like I mean she keeps on talking about like I'm glad I didn't make this movie earlier in my career because I didn't I don't think I had the confidence to work with actors. Yes that's a very interesting part. I was sort of intimidated by actors.

[00:32:04] Right right. And then there's like this interview with Malcovich. Especially big actors. But Malcovich is like you know I have a very fiery temper. I'm not easy to work with. Right. Right.

[00:32:16] I'm known for this it's my reputation and then they cut to her just being like she has this line where she's like John I don't know if it's just because like I mean obviously

[00:32:26] because I know that you are acting but sometimes I'm watching it and I feel like you're acting. And then they cut to Malcovich and he's like doing his like whisper silent right like just

[00:32:37] very focused like you know I mean come on you know this isn't a Botticelli painting. I mean I understand we don't want this to look like a porno movie out of focus but let's just get it done. Yeah this shoot did not seem like a fun time.

[00:32:55] No and they sort of say like it was like it was great when Malcovich wrapped and they say it like because you know those scenes are so difficult. Sure they write the most emotionally demanding I guess. Right.

[00:33:05] But it would be funny if like you see the popping shit. They almost do. I mean it's like the last thing they shoot with him is they make him shave his beard and paint his mouth blue to do the close up on his mouth.

[00:33:20] When he says like I love I am in love with you or whatever and it's like his. I think one of the standout scenes in the film which is her little travelogue sequences are my favorite. So when she goes like full fucking zombie go. Yeah it rolls.

[00:33:36] But Malcovich also has this thing he says and when he walks off of that set everyone does feel like they're waiting to like fucking pop. It's also funny because Richard E. Grant who is also in this movie has an insane cast. It does.

[00:33:52] Let's just name some people who are in this movie. Shelley Duvall. Shelley Duvall. Shelley Winters. Christian Bale. Viggo Mortensen. Very nice haircut. John Gielgud. And a certain man going like this. And a certain man who had only one word for us. Tenet. Tenet. Tenet.

[00:34:10] Yes half himself Martin Donovan. Martin Donovan who at this point in his career is mostly known for How Hartley Movies. It's funny how he kind of went from being this like quintessential like intellectual like soft boy to being like Mr. Suit. Yeah. I know it is weird.

[00:34:27] He's right. He he's a chameleon. No he's it's just funny how Hollywood like changes its perception of you. Right. As a character actor. Right. In that way like right. Where like you don't do a couple of those and it's like yeah you're Mr. Businessman now. Right. Or whatever.

[00:34:41] Yeah. But it's just so funny in this in this behind the scenes doc when Richard E. Grant who's in the beginning of the movie. Yes. Comes back later in the movie and also comes back later to film and he's you know dishing

[00:34:51] with the makeup artist like what did I miss? He's everyone miserable now. Right he seems like the anti-Malkovich. I guess he just seems like fun. He's fun. Yeah. He's a good type right. The other thing Malkovich says is he's like you know I've always bored the process of

[00:35:08] how long these things take and when I started making movies it was unpleasant and it has now gone from like unpleasant to unbearable. There's I don't understand why we need to do 120 takes. You know what this is making me want to see? What?

[00:35:23] Behind the scenes doc a space force or whatever. Imagine what a barrel of lapses on that one. I'm trying to remember this anecdote that I think someone shared with both of us. Okay. Or was it just with me? Might have just been with you.

[00:35:34] I think it was just with me that on Space Force there was some scene where they asked. It is called Space Force right? I don't really remember. Yeah. Right I'm gonna get this wrong it's funnier than what I'm about to relay but this is the

[00:35:48] basic idea of it. I think they like asked Malkovich if he wanted another take and he was like what's the point it's not gonna make it any better. Sure. Another take isn't gonna make this good. He's a famous stage actor early in his career. Yes.

[00:36:04] He's obviously like we said from the Steppenwolf company it does seem like he's one of those guys who's like I hate how they make movies and it's like bitch stop making them yes but

[00:36:12] he got famous and he got a lot of money and he have a club in Lisbon I guess. Right. Right. What are you gonna do? Like Steppenwolf it's like so heady and serious and sort of like text based and he's like

[00:36:20] I don't know I walk on and I say things and then movies they make me do it too many times and I can't fucking stand it. It does seem annoying I wouldn't like it either.

[00:36:29] He also has that quote where he's like a production like this you do understand why it's a job why acting is a job because it's just sometimes so unbearable. Yeah. So basically your impression from this documentary is this was a tough shoot. A very tough shoot.

[00:36:44] This is her biggest budget movie ever until Power of the Dog I believe. Yeah. Right. And she's just kind of keeping Kidman on hair trigger for the entire shoot. Yes. Like that's there's something to her take on this which is just like

[00:36:58] to have the abusive controlling guy be Malkovich and never really have him blow up. Right. Like the king of like the simmering terrifying whisper. Right the most he does is like this will be a very calculated move by you like his words get pointed.

[00:37:13] But he never even gets that loud. No but he never exactly yeah. It's always so quiet and Kidman never has like the fall to her knees Oscar scene it's just the whole movie she's trembling. Right.

[00:37:24] Like she just had to be kept in this space for months and she talks about like some days I just come to set and I'm like done I'm dead I'm not relaxed I can't access these things and I tell

[00:37:35] her I can't do it and Jane pushes me and when she finished this movie she said she was in bed for two weeks afterwards. So this is a great segue we've talked about Barbara Hershey we've talked about Malkovich but we got to talk Kidman.

[00:37:47] We do I mean this is a very crucial point in her career. Is because she's supposed to die for right. The year before this is to die for and Batman forever so it's like she has this huge fucking

[00:37:59] hit playing the best DC Comics character of all time Dr. Chase Meridian. Well I don't know if you know this but I'm to be trivia tells us that her name is Dr. Chase Meridian as a subtle allusion to the fact that she is chasing Batman.

[00:38:11] It's my favorite I'd be true in fact I mentioned this at least you've been I just love it just so well when they type that out exactly like a Kiba Goldsmith ladies like Dr. Chase and he's like looking around and in the maps.

[00:38:26] In the comics no oh absolutely all those early Batman movies just. But like I just feel like it was this thing of like there has to be a woman who who's on Bruce Wayne's mind.

[00:38:41] Right yes the Nolan movies and all that don't really care about I mean they have Rachel but like she's at least sort of like in the action a little bit right like the El McPherson

[00:38:50] you know the first ones the weirdest where it's just sort of like well there's also like a lovely lady that Bruce could consider settling down with. I do I feel like I guess Rachel does just an evolved version yeah yeah Batman forever

[00:39:02] and then who could forget Polly al Ghul what was her fake name. Spoiler alert professor go on museum person no I was gonna say is the year before this Batman forever is arguably a movie star level up for her right.

[00:39:19] She's obviously like a big ass star and it's hard to understand how successful that was. It was so it doesn't matter that the movie was successful we didn't know if she could really

[00:39:29] act sure it would die for it's what I for my point is in the same year she has this movie star win the globe she's a movie star level up without Tom Cruise right yeah and then

[00:39:40] she has this movie that proves like holy shit she can act so she's coming into 96 like about as hot as she could be right and yet as you said at this point she was most famous

[00:39:49] for being married to Tom Cruise they're in two movies together the second one bombs far and away there are two of Tom Cruise's worst movies. No offense to Days of Thunder is like an okay time but like it's not that good.

[00:40:00] Days of Thunder is kind of the portrait of a lady to Top Gun's piano right. Wow brilliant analogy. It's true thank you. You're right though. Yeah they're like this you know like yeah like but let's let's change all the elements. It's essentially right.

[00:40:17] Yeah she's like the worst follow up that's kind of similar. She's Australian teen actor who is discovered by Jane Campion earlier wanted her to be in her short film and then dead calm is sort of the thing that gives her the crossover success the American breakthrough.

[00:40:39] And then Billy Bathgate. Yes she notices her now she's I just want I mean maybe we've mentioned BMX bandits before but a very Ben movie I assume he's never seen it. Right. You know in energy. Maybe the most hair anyone's ever very big red curly.

[00:40:59] She's got a bit of a Janet frame. Yes. It's true. Ben I just want to call out you have been on Malkovich's clothing website for and I want to make it clear he's been scrolling through it like Ben's been going through.

[00:41:12] Far and away just just like is that the worst Tom Cruise movie like that is a real stinker. Kind of like I just feel like I heard no one. Loaded. Any aspects of it. Much mocked. The accents. Right. I have not seen far and away.

[00:41:27] I've heard the accents are bad. Yeah. The score is good right. I feel like they reuse the score. We need to remember that Tom Cruise is also in Rock of Ages. Yeah. But OK. Rock of Ages is so awful. Tom Cruise is good. Yeah.

[00:41:41] Where he's bad and far. OK. Yeah. Important. I think the worst Tom Cruise movie you know you could shout out like Lions for lambs or like there's a couple like that that are real.

[00:41:49] But I think you're right that the worst Tom Cruise movie has to be a movie in which Tom Cruise is bad which is rare. He's my favorite movie star of all time. We love Tom. We love Tom Cruise. Reservedly. I was about to say unreservedly.

[00:42:02] You know Ben just any quick takes on the fits that Malkovich is throwing. It's it's giving me fop. This guy walks in here and I'm getting it's a lot of like are there. Cravats. Cravats. Right. Marie. Of course you have to filter for. Corruption. Yeah. Exactly.

[00:42:25] And his whole thing was I couldn't find this stuff anywhere. You know it. Kidman's 90s is sort of an Angelina Jolie esque thing where it's like wait is this person actually a movie star or just someone that people talk about. Is she famous for being famous.

[00:42:39] Is she famous. Right. A hot is she actually an actor and I switch between. I do. Ninety five is like her most triumphant year. Yeah. It is. Two thousand. But I do think Moulin Rouge the beat on her is so like sure she's good in to die for.

[00:42:52] Right. But like has Nicole Kidman ever really proven that she can one. Was that what she just used well as. Smart director. An Oscar or whatever. Right. Well to die for is an incredible performance. It's an incredible performance a good movie.

[00:43:06] And it also when you watch to die for and portrait of a lady back to back you're like wow range. Yeah I agree. Yeah but I'm not saying I was always fairly pro Kidman. Yeah. Say as a young lad.

[00:43:20] But I would say that she really had a lot of detractors in the 90s. That the celebrity factor. Huge part of against her. Both the celebrity and the celebrity couple. Right. Both. Right. She was throwing fits though can we say that. She absolutely was.

[00:43:34] Those 90s paparazzi photos of her man she was like she was like serving some shit. You know post this and this movie obviously doesn't go over. Peacemaker. Peacemaker doesn't go over. Right. Practical Magic not an acting movie. Absolutely fuck so hard. A beloved film.

[00:43:53] One of David's favorite films. Huge fan of Practical Magic and she's really good in it and she's doing something different in it. Right. She's the bad girl. Yeah. But that movie was not a total hit either. It was a reasonable double. Right. Right.

[00:44:06] And then Eyes Wide Shut is very controversial. She's amazing in it but at the time. It's considered a masterpiece now at the time people were more reserved. And it sucks up like two years of her life. And then the 2000s she just comes. Explodes.

[00:44:19] But it's the 2001 double punch. Right. The others. The others. Right. Two original movies. Not based on fucking anything. Well that's not true. Moulin Rouge is based on a nightclub. No but it's based on Camille. And it's also kind of based on like.

[00:44:35] Moulin Rouge is kind of based on Eva. It's not really like you know. We got to do Buzz at some point. I'm so pro. I know. What if we like have a rule where we do like one Australian New Zealand director a year? Right.

[00:44:49] Just add to our ridiculous series of rules. And then after that. For fucking Elvis. After that Kidman is gold right. Like obviously she wins the Oscar the next year. But it's also that she's the actress who will do Dogville. That year single handedly milks her. Right.

[00:45:03] That year single handedly mints her to a degree where no one's questioning her anymore. And it's like. Never again. The fact that the others makes a hundred million dollars released at the doldrums of August. You know and then like. Then the next year. I'm nodding.

[00:45:17] The hours it's like well I guess she's overdue. Yeah. And Denzel Washington said buy a new. Buy a new. Oh God that was. What do we think about that? Was that kind of mean. I think it was corny. I don't think it was mean.

[00:45:29] Because I remember the conversation at the time being like. Oh just another example of a beautiful person making themselves ugly to win an award. That was absolutely. There's a run of best actress winners because Monsters right around there. You know like where people were like.

[00:45:41] Oh do you have to quote unquote decline Monsters Ball. Yeah. But. But. I think she won because one she has like this killer speech. You know that's and she's playing a real person. She's overdue. She's overdue.

[00:45:56] And yeah and like it's a transformation so you know like it was. I mean people were just so into. I mean this is the other thing we need to talk about. Julianne Moore should have won that. Yeah absolutely. When we're talking about Kidman hitting the 2000s so hard.

[00:46:09] The other thing is the fucking the Tom Cruise marriage. Like once the divorce happens. She wins that. Immediately is seen in a different light. And he hasn't started torpedoing himself yet. But it's still like. Oh I like this fucking Nicole on her.

[00:46:22] Well I didn't give it to Julianne. You didn't give it to Julianne. I gave it to Diane Lane. And then I do it again. You do it again. I do it again. Those weren't for those. Not unforgiven unfaithful. Unfaithful.

[00:46:36] It would be wild if I gave it to her for unforgiven. Yeah. What if Diane Lane was. She's not in. The Clint Eastwood. Wow this is a good five. Give us the. Dave now you got to share the five.

[00:46:45] Diane Lane in Unfaithful and Julianne Moore in Far From Heaven. The two I've got with the Oscars. Samantha Morton in Morvern Caller. Incredible. Yeah of course. Yeah. About to be released on Blu-ray. Emily Murdomer in Lovely and Amazing. One of my favorite performances.

[00:46:58] And Natasha McElhone in Solaris baby. Bam. Wow. You didn't see that coming. No. David just did like a rock em sock em robot pose. I did an uppercut. Wow. Anyway great time. So Nicole in this movie as you said she's very much quivering. Yes. Crumbling.

[00:47:16] I mean the poster is basically her having a migraine. She's also putting herself through physical torture by committing to wearing a very tight corset. A 19 inch corset. I know Nicole Kidman is a skinny woman. But that is something you have to work your way towards. Yes.

[00:47:35] You're right they had to like. Into a corset that tight. Go like inch by inch or whatever. It's wow. Yes. I wanted to say something. This is not Kidman really. We'll get right back to Kidman. Oh no I've said all. I've said my Kidman. Fair enough.

[00:47:49] Merchant Ivory apparently had been interested in doing Portrait of a Lady. Makes sense. And Merchant Ismael Merchant upon hearing the news that Campion would adapt the novel said we have about six projects in development maybe we'll get around to Portrait of a Lady in 10 years.

[00:48:02] We don't want to race with anybody. We're proud to have paved the way for other artists to consider E.M. Forster and Henry James. James is a world class writer and anyone everyone is interested in a world class writer.

[00:48:13] I just love the idea that Merchant is like yeah I've got a whole fucking list of masterpieces. I know. Do them all. Well you remember. Oh get to Portrait of a Lady. Ismael Merchant used to do those up fronts like Kevin Feige where he'd come out with

[00:48:25] the clicker. I mean was that the original MCU? Yeah. Like Merchant Ivory's staple of performance. It's just funny to think that like James Campion's like well I could do a Henry James novel. I don't know man Merchant Ivory. We got to call him on the phone.

[00:48:39] I'm scared of those guys. They might be working on something. I'm just imagining them on unveiling like Andy Park concept art of what Christopher Reeve will look like in the period of day or whatever. Merchant Ivory phase five.

[00:48:55] Or like a Dante's Peak volcano thing where Merchant Ivory's like oh we got a portrait. You want to do one? We got one. Why you wait till you see our fucking portrait. I'll call Emma Thompson right now. She's available. Yeah.

[00:49:08] Do you want to get into talking about this actual movie? Yes. So well and we should say I did light candles because I thought it'd be elegant. Ben turned off most of the lights and he lit candles and this isn't a bit.

[00:49:21] I mean it's maybe a bit but he did it. It was two candles. It's not like he lit like you know 80 candles. It's a little romantic. It's a little romantic. A little Victorian. As everyone now knows Ben prepared a tea party for us. He did.

[00:49:37] Last week we had high tea so Ben might be going through a phase right now. A gilded. Wait am I in my gilded era? Yeah you're gilded. You're serving gilded. Yes this is a 600 page novel. Yes. It is very interior like many a Henry James novel.

[00:50:02] It is very focused on its character psychology. Yes. It is not screaming out for adaptation. It famously has a non-ending. Right. Which is also not screaming out for adaptation. It doesn't really send you out the door cheering. Nope.

[00:50:18] And you know Jane right away takes a big swing by opening this movie with a sequence that takes place in contemporary times. Yes. Shot in black and white and has young women talking about their own sexual desire. Overheard snippets really. It's not like you're seeing the people talking.

[00:50:38] You're just kind of seeing people you know moving around. I kept waiting for them to show up in the movie. They storm in. I mean this honestly could be the sort of thing where you're in the theater and you're like is this is this the right movie?

[00:50:52] Am I in the wrong theater? It feels like a 90s MTV era Kotex commercial. Teen speak. Right? Teens talk. I mean in the notes I took it's. What makes me a woman? Chokers, piercings, thin eyebrows. Yes.

[00:51:08] I mean we're really situating ourselves in the mid-90s with the style of these women. And what she's obviously trying to do by beginning the film with the sequence is she's trying to place the character of Isabelle Archer and the situations she's facing squarely in our modern consciousness.

[00:51:32] She is connecting that story to what women. To contemporary times. Because what I think if we talk about like what her take is on the material, I think that she is focusing on Isabelle's passions and sexual desires. And how that motivates her decisions.

[00:51:59] And she's bringing to the forefront of her adaptation things that are hinted at. Right. You know obviously it's more sexually explicit. Not that it's a vastly explicit film but like. I don't think we see any boobies in this.

[00:52:12] Well you do see Nicole's naked figure in one of the sort of you know. John Bugo-esque scenes. Right. Right. Oh right right. You do see boobies. But it's not like there's a. You do see boobies. You do see boobies. We don't see any dong. No. Fucking huge oversight.

[00:52:28] And Malcolm Ritch will take it out. He took it out in one of those fucking boring ass movies he made in the 80s. Secretariat? I mean this is a movie. I wasn't Malcolm Ritch. He walks up to the horseshoe. You think that's big?

[00:52:41] No he took it out in fuck. Is it called the sheltering sky? Yeah. Is it the Bertolucci movie? Yeah. Sheltering Sky. Yeah yeah yeah. Um yeah this is a movie that famously includes a foursome that does not feature nudity. Sure. A sort of yes. Yeah yeah.

[00:52:58] I will say this is like a little bit of an issue for me where it's just like. I was excited by a lot of the choices she's making the first 45 minutes of the movie. I think a lot of the most interesting sort of.

[00:53:09] So you like the kind of phantom. The men like dissolving. Yeah yeah. Things like that. Yeah you like the the weird. Jean Vigo. Yes and this opening and all this stuff. I'm like oh she's really throwing some interesting sort of like formless exercises.

[00:53:25] We're finding out the house is not damp right like that was the thing like right away. I'm like okay interesting Lord Farquaad. She also she loves a moat. Definitely was a Lord Farquaad. Yes. Um I just think like oh I love a moat.

[00:53:42] Do you guys adore a moat and why even waste the breath to tell us that? Well I know but I want to know your moat. Yeah yeah they're cool. Yeah right good do they move my mind. I don't want like standing water around.

[00:53:55] No that's why you know it's. You gotta get the Gators the Gators stir it. That's why they call Gators nature spoon. Yeah yeah because otherwise I feel like yeah you're gonna get a lot of skaters. Summer your boat you know.

[00:54:14] No I just I have not read the book but that foursome sequence I'm like this is a really interesting way to dramatize internal sort of battles within a person you know and I wanted more of that experimentation which there's a lot of at the beginning and you're

[00:54:35] sort of like wow this is not what I expected out of this movie and then I do think it falls a little more into although with Jane Campion energy the sort of more traditional stayed.

[00:54:46] Well I think I think she's making well just to kind of quickly go over the plot Isabel Archer is a woman in the Victorian era late Victorian era the Gilded Age. We're not quite well yeah sure. James Gilded Age 1880s. Her Ben years.

[00:55:07] Yes yes but she I guess yeah she does not want to marry because she doesn't want to compromise her freedom and her and her friend is her friends are trying to marry her. Her yeah. They're they're throwing boys. She's got a lot of suitors.

[00:55:24] Yeah well come on which is yeah we'll get into that but she also knows that she like there's life she wants to live. That's the thing she keeps like I need to live more I need more experience.

[00:55:33] There are things I want to and the first half of the movie we see her being offered these proposals of marriage by different suitors who the viewer would think are perfectly acceptable. Richard E. Graham. You go Mortensen. The hottest he's ever looked very snackable.

[00:55:52] His name is Casper Goodwood. Plus plus here for a second. He is so pretty in this movie. It's not that he's hot but they're like he's so delicate in this and and to think this is like 10 years after Witness it's not like this is the youngest he's ever

[00:56:08] been on screen he's already worked a lot at this point. He's three years away from filming Lord of the Rings. I mean it shows up in that movie you're like this guy's been through some shit. Was he like just hanging out with Jane Campion?

[00:56:19] I was like I like these Kiwis I want to go. He's a guy. He's a very soulful actor sort of his you know reputation especially. I think I've said this before but I just always forget that he's American. He's not American.

[00:56:33] Well he's kind of American and he's like as Danish parents but he's right. He was raised in America. He was not raised exclusively in America raised all over. He is Danish obviously by birth. Sure I don't know he's quasi American. Okay. Kind of like you.

[00:56:51] No I'm like more American. Marie what do you mean? Are you talking about David? I mean David seems kind of European. But you sense like a little touch of the Spaniard in him. What are you maybe German?

[00:57:05] They live I've noticed he does raise a pinky from time to time at the high tea. Were you were you fucking spying on me while we were drinking high tea? He's got he's got a touch of Ben. He does have a touch.

[00:57:17] Touch gilded Venezuela Denmark they lived in Argentina for a long time. I speak Spanish. Was it ho ha? What is that movie he made? It's like Argentinian. I don't know. It's like a JAUJ. I'm looking that up. Do you guys remember this a couple years ago? No yeah.

[00:57:35] How ha? How ha? Wow yeah that was the 2014 film. And one of those guys where that's where he like gets into horses because yeah. Oh he loves how to ride a horse. Then they go to New York when their parents when the parents divorce when he's a teenager.

[00:57:53] And then he moves back to Spain and then Denmark. He is a very sexy worldly man. And you know I feel like everyone is always talking about how he's like writing poetry and taking photographs and all that right. Like he's one of those. He's a real artist.

[00:58:08] He doesn't play the Hollywood game. It's why it's so funny that then he finally was like I got one more performance to get pizza. I still can't believe that's him in that movie. It's so weird. It's like blocked out. It's so weird.

[00:58:26] It is weird of them to cast him right. It is weird that he did it well and it is weird that he got an Oscar nomination for him. Whatever I think of that movie I'm like. He did what they asked. He's back to Cronenberg right.

[00:58:41] It's not like he like went off green book and was like let me be in a Marvel movie. Like I'm not hot again. No there's always that thing with him where it's like I don't know maybe I'll never make a movie. He doesn't make a lot of movies.

[00:58:51] Right. Captain Fantastic 2014. 16 Green Book 2018 and then that film he directed that those like his only movies of late. Green Book just did not seem like the kind of movie he would ever watch. How did they get him? What's the connection to his house? I don't genuinely.

[00:59:07] The only thing like some people like secretly have worked with the Fairleys before and I always forget and I'm like oh wow I forgot. All I know is that he was like the first person attached to that movie like he was the key.

[00:59:20] This is the other thing is like as the Green Book Oscar season kept going on. Mahershala would sometimes like seem a little embarrassed by the movie and Viggo would double down like Viggo was so fucking proud of that movie.

[00:59:32] The only thing I know is that like they I guess the moonlight Captain Fantastic Oscar season was the same year and they they hit it off. So there was something of like they'd like to work together. Right yeah. I don't know fucking know either of them.

[00:59:48] He gained like 50 pounds. He wanted to be in Green Book so badly and then stood by and was like look at this fucking thing. What best picture? I don't I don't know. Anyway he is in this film he's very pretty. John Gielgud sort of a suitor I guess.

[01:00:07] Well Gielgud's not a suitor his son is though. Martin Donovan. Played by Martin Donovan. His actual character's name is Ralph. Touch It. Ralph Touch It. Goodwood Touch It. This movie should be hornier. That's it sounds like a fucking Bart Simpson prank call.

[01:00:26] Martin Donovan is is the person that she clearly has the strongest emotional connection. But he also is her cousin and he's dying. What's up with the cousin stuff? Well you know. I had cousins back then.

[01:00:39] No well you know sometimes people would marry their cousins right like because everyone's freaking cousins in the upper class society. Where were we on cousins at this point in time? Because I know we've slipped around. I think we were cool with cousins until like the 50s.

[01:00:52] Yeah that's basically it. So you're saying just cousins. It's really up until recently. If you're looking for people if you're always marrying off your kids within aristocracy and then you're looking for your kids to marry an aristocrat like it's all gonna intermingle.

[01:01:07] Well yeah like all the fucking royal families are. Yeah it's all ancestral. You know Edward VII the grandfather of Europe because he had a bunch of kids and they all. Yeah. Moved around Europe you know. But she doesn't want to marry anybody.

[01:01:21] And her reason for not wanting to marry anyone isn't that she's not attracted to them. Because as we see by this foursome sequence she is very horny for these men. She's dreaming of them going to town. It's not like she's a cold fish. Open buffet.

[01:01:36] But she knows that at this point in history as a woman once you are married you sacrifice your independence. Yeah. And she does not want to do that. And Ralph actually persuades his dad right to or is. Yeah. His dad John Gielgud is his dad and her uncle.

[01:01:55] Yes. And he's like actually give her money so she can like live the life she wants. Leave her the fortune. Yes. Yeah. So she doesn't have to marry. Fucking consumption or whatever. Right. He's yeah.

[01:02:05] So the first part of the movie is her navigating these suitors and then she goes to Florence right. Uh yes. Oh no rewind because I want to talk about the scene where she's introduced to Barbara Hershey. Right. She means which happens in England. Madame Serena. Madame Merle.

[01:02:26] Madame Serena Merle. And it I really loved this sequence. We see Nicole walk into a room and we hear this really intense piano playing. We don't see who's playing the piano but Nicole is like captivated. So the audience is captivated like who is playing the piano.

[01:02:44] And this is also coming after a time where we are in the film where we are thinking about all of her suitors. So I'm thinking it's going to be a man and then it turns out it's this woman. This ostensibly liberated woman. Yes.

[01:02:58] Beyond like right like it's like she's sort of seems to be doing her own thing. And so I'm like yes who is this bitch I love her. Which I guess is kind of what Isabel's thinking and she's very interested in this woman.

[01:03:11] Uh and they go to Florence together and we find out that Barbara Hershey aka Madame Merle has ulterior motives. She wants to set her up with Gilbert Osmond. Yes. John Malkovich. She's a little bit of a Galene Maxwell. I was about to say she is.

[01:03:31] I mean right it's this thing of like look at this woman look at how confident she is. What's her secret? Isabel is of age. But yeah. I'm not saying the conditions are identical. No no but it's true.

[01:03:42] But the pipeline of like you hear all the stories of these young women. Galene would come to them and she'd be like you're so glamorous you could come into society. You'd be such a big kid. And it's like no one ever thought that of me.

[01:03:52] And then you get in there and then you're sort of pawned off to some other person. You're like what's your relationship to that person? They are exes of course. That's the ultimate revelation we don't know that.

[01:04:01] We know that there's some sort of sexual tension between John Malkovich and Barbara Hershey. Brother and sister. Right? No. They're not brother and sister? No they are exes. Oh okay interesting. I don't know why I thought that was going on. Sure his sister is uh Shelley Duvall.

[01:04:22] Right you know Shelley Duvall from The Shining? Yeah yeah oh okay no they don't look anything alike. No sorry go. Um but uh and and I feel like Campion is very intent on showing a less glamorous Italy.

[01:04:37] She does not want it to be this transporting thing where you arrive in fashionable Italy. So the first part of the movie. Campion went to Italy when she was 21. And she was like this place sucks.

[01:04:49] And then the first part of the movie is as Griffin said like you have all these interesting uh artistic touches and it then the movie becomes absolutely fucking miserable. Yes. Once our character becomes miserable. It is by design but it becomes pretty oppressive. Yes.

[01:05:08] Quite oppressive and not short. No that's the other thing it's the cycle of just like this is an ending this is an ending. This very quiet man saying like look at my stuff look at my beautiful belongings don't ever leave me.

[01:05:20] He has a daughter who is like not allowed to leave the house. Pansy. Pansy played by Valentina Servi. Don't really know her other than this. An Italian actress. Yeah. It makes sense that she'd have an Italian accent having been raised in Florence.

[01:05:36] But yes Isabelle accepts the offer of marriage from Osmond and we are led to believe that she accepts his marriage proposal as opposed to everyone else's because it's kind of like Madame Merle made him seem. Cool. Cool.

[01:05:55] I think the idea I guess in theory is like he will allow her to live her he's this. He's bohemian. Right yeah right. And then the second they get married he's like no welcome to Bumberville close the doors. Like yeah.

[01:06:06] Stuart Driver shot this movie obviously we talked about him on the piano. I'm just going to read this quote from Jane Campion. We made two major decisions one make our interior shots in Italy as dark as possible. Two have exterior shots almost overexposed to get those big contrasts.

[01:06:23] I wanted to avoid the glamour and the intimate scenes be as close as possible to bodies. That's all very interesting but it certainly does make the film tough to watch in a way. Yes. Oppressive. And not what you would expect from a costume drama. She also.

[01:06:38] You know like it's sort of not giving you maybe the sort of meat and potatoes. We're not getting this the sweeping vistas that we get from some other period films. It's a bleached out thing where the skies are like white. Yes.

[01:06:53] And I will defend Malkovich's performance in this but you're essentially asking him to be the motor of the movie for like the better part of 90 minutes. Sure. And he's also like an obstruction. Right. Right and he's a bottleneck and he's a very quiet simmering bottleneck that never pops

[01:07:15] in that sort of way. Yeah. Yeah he is malevolent but it's not like Dangerous Liaisons or wherever where he's kind of fun malevolent. He's not fun at all. He's not. No he's a fucking bummer. This sucks. Yeah.

[01:07:26] And so much of the movie is people being like leave him. There is a point in the film where it's like all of all of Isabelle's old friends who have been kind of cut off are all like sitting together talking about like she's in a terrible situation

[01:07:41] what can we do and I thought they were going to like team up to rescue her but that does not happen. That was planned for Portrait 2. Yeah. Can we talk about Mary Louise Parker playing like Zooey Deschanel and failure to launch. She's got little glasses.

[01:07:55] The little glasses are so good. Yeah this is early Mary Louise Parker right I mean I feel like she's still pretty. Well she did Boys on the Side. Right. How to Make an American Quilt is that what that thing is called?

[01:08:08] That is a movie but it's not in it. No what's the other there's another one she's in that's like a generational. There's like Grand Canyon. Well it's Fried Green Tomatoes. I think there's. How to Make an American Quilt is another movie.

[01:08:20] I know I'm gonna figure out what the. Bullets Over Broadway. And then she's in How I Learned to Drive off Broadway the following year which is like a big. She's on that show Weeds. She was on that show Weeds. Thank you Ben.

[01:08:35] So a thing I wanted to talk about if you're talking about intentionally shooting interiors and having them be very very dark. Yes. Campion makes some kind of shockingly heavy handed choices. To illustrate the interiority of the characters. Like the canted angles.

[01:08:56] Well not even the canted angles like literally like the scene where it's Kidman and Malkovich. And it's kind of like their big scene together before she goes on her little boat trip. And it's literally in the catacombs. Like they are. Yes. They are surrounded by like skeletons. Yes.

[01:09:16] And so you're getting that like ooh bad omens. Right. There's a scene later where she is talking to I think she's talking to her cousin Ralph and she says at this point she's married and she says if I like my cage that needn't trouble you referring

[01:09:34] to marriage as her cage. They're literally in horse stables and she's framed in front of a bunch of bars. Yes. And so I'm like. I don't know. I agree.

[01:09:49] This movie is I don't think I don't know how you guys I mean I know Griffin was perplexed I would say by the film. That's my read of your reaction. Not perplexed. Maybe not perplexed. Look I wasn't looking forward to this one.

[01:10:01] This is not my type of movie I would say. I was sort of invigorated by the first 45 minutes and then it sort of settled into the thing I sort

[01:10:12] of was expecting it to be which is just maybe not my cup of tea but it's also I've just I've been really enjoying the fucking movies we've been watching the last three were so.

[01:10:24] This is my least favorite Campion I guess it might be and I still like it. Too frank. I said well I'm not camp. Okay if you're not kind of that then probably has the worst film. But but you know good filmography.

[01:10:35] But Marie what do you think I like I've seen this film three times I told Griffin that he was astonished it is over like the course of many years like but yeah also I mean they're weirder

[01:10:49] movies I've watched more times than that who am I to judge I've seen it twice I watched it this week and the first time I saw it a movie theater in New York the quad was doing a Henry James adaptation

[01:11:03] series and I went with a bunch of girlfriends to watch this and none of us had seen it before and we had high expectations for it like we thought it was going to be a hidden gem.

[01:11:13] That's that's the thing you want this to be a very like fuck yeah Kidman Campion like yeah how was this not people didn't like it it must be great right yeah exactly yeah right and also

[01:11:24] I had just watched in the cut for the first time I think a year before I saw Portrait of a Lady right that is a movie I had grown up hearing ruined careers and was legendarily terrible

[01:11:36] and watched it loved it it's probably my favorite Campion yeah and so I'm like okay this one's also going to be really good and it is not that good yeah I think there are uh interesting things to

[01:11:49] talk about with this movie like it's not a total I hope this isn't like a bummer of an episode no it's not I'm just saying like yeah I really love Campion I do think this is

[01:12:01] yeah not entirely successful beyond the fact that she's setting herself this challenge of adapting a difficult novel and you know and there's a thing I another take I have is we talked about this off mic before is uh especially comparing this to a movie like the Age of

[01:12:16] Innocence which is like low-key my favorite Scorsese film great movie great great film uh I love the narration in the Age of Innocence yes I think this film would have benefited from narration and I think that she did not include it because her last film was very

[01:12:38] narration heavy her last character did not mute character her last three movies have narration to some degree like Sweetie, Angel at My Table and Piano yeah so I think she set a challenge

[01:12:47] for herself yeah that ultimately cut your nose to spite your face yeah I think that's true I also think as much as she's like well I love the book and right I was just wanting you know

[01:13:00] the way she talks about approaching the adaptation it does seem like they hit a bunch of roadblocks they tried a lot of ways to figure out how to put the first third of the book into the movie

[01:13:09] and realize like it's got to go she doesn't have a screenplay credit on this uh no it's it's credited to Laura Jones a regular collaborator correct who wrote Angel at My Table with her

[01:13:20] also did you notice uh a certain name popping up in the producer credits of this film David Monty Montgomery the cowboy himself we know about Monty Montgomery no who's Monty Montgomery well

[01:13:32] Monty Montgomery of course is the man who shot the coward Robert Ford he's not he's not we did 10 minutes on his fucking photo his IMDb picture looks like it was taken at Deadwood yeah uh no he

[01:13:43] was Catherine Bigelow's early collaborator and he is credited as a director of the Loveless her first yeah the co-director and he is the cowboy in Mulholland Drive yeah two times if you do that I believe in that documentary he is the one who's having that conversation with Shelley

[01:14:03] Winters okay I was one because it wasn't her other producer is Jan Chapman who is a woman I believe that's Monty Montgomery who's this odd like zealot figure of the last 30 years 40 years

[01:14:15] of film yeah I love him love him wow one of my favorite performers it's one of my favorite scenes in a movie ever um and another thing that I think is was difficult for her in approaching this is I

[01:14:26] think that she um is too close to the source material right yes these are some quotes that I wrote down from that making of doc um Isabel fantasizes about men like Osmond and so do I

[01:14:41] she's desperate to be loved and to be loved by someone as difficult him might give her in some strange way a sense of satisfaction that's the approach she's taking to the story and the

[01:14:50] character I don't know if it is telegraphed as strongly as it could have been because you have people like Ebert at the time complaining about Malkovich and just like not getting

[01:15:03] why she would go for Malkovich yes yeah I'm trying to tomato yeah he's a real sun-dried tomato but it is that thing you watch him in this and you're like this is the most compelling person in the

[01:15:13] world like even if I'm bored in this movie I'm just kind of fascinated by his which is always true even when he's in some junkie film you are kind of like whoa Malkovich and she she is setting it up to

[01:15:23] be a like a sexual sane and masochistic thing you know what's another thing I'll say but they kind of yeah that that's what that works for Malkovich Malkovich is maybe aside from Mary

[01:15:37] Louise Parker who is of course her best friend in the movie is giving like the most modern performance sure you know he does which is alluring at first right in and of itself it's just like what's this

[01:15:50] guy's secret he's existing on a different wavelength than everyone else we haven't even talked about the whole Christian Bale sub oh yeah this funny thing maybe bail in the 90s being like

[01:16:00] in this forever like fucking lori and little women mode that's why I mean I know he's only two years before this movie right like but that's a Christian Bale of course the young suitor who plays the

[01:16:11] gentle men who try to woo the young women pre you know um American Psycho like he plays like chubby cheeked cuties I think like Velvet Goldmine he is such a cutie in like everyone else is kind of

[01:16:23] like aggro and glam and cool right and like and uh fucking everyone forgets a Midsummer Night's Dream but like he's one of the young lovers in that one yes yes he was just in this zone and

[01:16:33] then like I remember my parents are just having honestly it's post-American Psycho but Captain Carly's Mandolin he also plays that role weird yeah and and kind of the new a new the new world

[01:16:45] he kind of plays that role which I think he's great great it's right that's later and then he plays he weirdly plays a different voice role in the animated book right Thomas yes um what I was

[01:16:57] gonna say I just remember my my friends parents parents friends or some some other adults my friends were having over fucking dinner or whatever they were like talking about what

[01:17:07] movies they had seen and I was listening uh with some talk about movies I wish I could go see you're listening at the top of the stairs yeah exactly uh top of the stairs apartment um but uh my parents

[01:17:20] friends were saying that they had seen American Psycho and they liked it I just remember her saying because I had like no I guess Christian but I was reading Entertainment Weekly it was like

[01:17:27] here's a guy I've never seen in any movies but I understand is a movie star he's talked about right and she said like I was really impressed with him and that it was the first time like

[01:17:36] I always think of him as being very soft sure and this is the first thing I've seen him in where he actually feels like an adult yeah and you're like he doesn't get to really be an adult until

[01:17:47] until the 2000s yeah and and he does it by playing these really aggra him bat and shaft in the same year like he's suddenly like I want to take on the second that switch is flipped it's

[01:17:57] like Christian Bale one of the most intense actors of his generation he does these very very like big swing performances he goes really hard he goes really deep it's just funny that he spent

[01:18:07] like a decade after obviously being a child star he was a child star right we talked about this star to like soft romantic boy we talk about this narrative a lot with women yes who are teen stars

[01:18:17] and then they have to do the movie where they're nude right or that they're the classic yeah in order to become right yeah and he's a male example and to throw Disney off the center so you can't

[01:18:27] cast me anymore I was naked in a movie I'm dying out loud yeah and his presence in in Portrait of a Lady is funny because if we talk about a small role which if we talk about little wimpy 1994

[01:18:39] Little Women as a movie that I as a child like did not get because I didn't understand why Joe didn't marry Laurie of course and the ultimate question Gabriel Byrne I was like why is she with

[01:18:50] this old man and not the cutest boy I've ever seen he was so cute he was so cute yeah and as now that I'm an adult I understand that the decision you know she she's escaping her her home

[01:19:02] it's not so much about Laurie himself being cute but should bail in that age range is such a dream boy for like a child you know if you were under the age of 15 watching that movie you're like

[01:19:15] perfect guy I feel like sure he's for sure I mean he's like he's a precursor to Shalloway which is why I think he's perfectly cast yeah he's so shall we so perfectly cast because he

[01:19:25] feels like a child like that's why you get the joke yeah and now that I'm watching like we've been watching Portrait of a Lady now in my 30s I'm like oh bail looks young he looks like

[01:19:35] I wrote down in my notes baby bail baby so he does look young in Little Women I just didn't get it to be clear in this movie he plays the sort of suitor of pansy yes now the Marius right yes

[01:19:49] yeah right yeah exactly the boy and Sweeney Todd it's like here's the kept woman in the tower and I'm the sweet boy who's gonna try to and love to overcome the plot at this point in the movie is

[01:20:04] now Isabelle is trying to help her stepdaughter make a match in marriage she sort of gets reinvigorated she knows she loves bail and she like feels the energy of like oh this is actual

[01:20:19] romance and Malkovich is trying to set her up with Richard E. Grant because he wants the money I right you know he just wants this but Richard E. Grant still has feelings for Nicole Kidman so

[01:20:28] Nicole's like I don't want to yeah I don't want to put her in that position right she can tell that Christian Bale really loves pansy and pansy loves Christian Bale that her name is pansy well

[01:20:39] there's a Malkovich what ends up happening is in like a cruel twist Malkovich sends his daughter to a convent to become a Benedetta and he says for his rationale for that decision one's daughter should be fresh and fair pansy is a little dusty

[01:21:02] a little she's also revealed she is the dog she is the daughter of his union with Barbara like that is the dark that is the surprising twist and then we realize that Barbara Hershey is this tragic villain yeah where she did the reason why she kind of

[01:21:19] encouraged the union of Nicole Kidman and John Malkovich was because she wanted her illegitimate daughter to be set financially yes uh and and she's made you know he's the devil like

[01:21:33] she she she cannot get what she wants you know she she fails uh and Percy plays all those later scenes so well and if you again could you keep talking about this making of doc did you get to

[01:21:46] the point where they're filming her final scene in the rain no and Barbara Hershey is like miserable because she has to do this take so many times where she's standing in the freezing rain

[01:21:58] having this emotional moment costumes yeah yeah and it's the yeah I think everyone talks about it's just like an absurd number of takes on every scene of this movie and and Campion seems to be a

[01:22:08] very gentle director when it comes to actors but it's really like probing of just like let's find something let's go deeper let's and just like never satisfied and Hershey's upset because a lot of the

[01:22:19] crew are laughing and having a good time and she's like I'm miserable right and I guess my character is supposed to be miserable in this moment and so I should channel that but I really just feel

[01:22:30] disrespected um sidebar a wild thing because I was I was sort of doing my my little Hershey deep dive uh when she shows up in beaches it was like very publicized that she had gotten uh lip fillers yes

[01:22:48] and like every fucking review called it out where it's like I don't even know if Barbara Hershey's good in this movie because I was too distracted by the fucking Goodyear tires on her that was how I

[01:22:58] knew who like what her deal was like that was what I knew about her as a child was that she had plastic surgery right it was just this incredibly vain woman who's getting this

[01:23:06] distracting facial surgery and you look at her in that movie and you're like she looks normal I like have our standards just gone so wildly out of whack I mean remember we used to talk about like

[01:23:15] Jennifer Lopez's butt as being the biggest thing we've ever seen yes and if you look at her butt now it's a great butt but we've now seen bigger yes we have there have been the goal post is

[01:23:25] the overtone but window has shifted but also just like the nature with which we talk about these things I mean look the irony of it is like I feel like we're coming up against this now in like

[01:23:36] people trying to talk about uh being the Ricardos that is a performance where you want to sort of dig into the effects of perhaps surgeries on how the effectiveness uh of of that role but I even feel

[01:23:54] like there is like an over delicacy and even like touching it versus this Barbara Hershey thing where it's like she had one procedure and people were like well she's not even acting anymore

[01:24:05] she's just got a fucking hot air balloon under her nose Barbara Hershey in this film it's just funny that you can compare her to Ghislaine that's the scary of 61st Ghislaine whatever because she in an interview with Charlie Rose another famously normal person

[01:24:23] compared this character to Cato Kaelin sort of oh yeah this is a funny bit of the doc this is uh uh you know but so you know in this way of like she's sort of like a consummate actress right and that she's like ingratiating

[01:24:35] herself in society she plays the piano all this you know like that's how she kind of holds on and then Charlie Rose of course is like are you interested in the Simpson business

[01:24:44] which is hilarious yeah way to put it and Hershey's like I am uh we were shooting portrait when the verdict came in on OJ Simpson it was 10 o'clock at night and I said to Jane the

[01:24:55] verdict was coming in and she said OJ Johnson and and Hershey was like I love that she just didn't even really know very European of her to be like oh yeah no I've heard a little about OJ

[01:25:09] Johnson is he in trouble um anyway anyway and Campion says Maddenborough her favorite character one of the great characters in literature uh Henry James says the great characters of literature are great because they understand their own tragedy and that's how she feels

[01:25:25] about this character right like she's repulsed by what she has to do yeah but it's too late like she's already engaged in like I have to save my daughter this is the only way to do it

[01:25:35] it is a good yes conflict there also is a I think the film is really strong when it's about like exploring the relationship between these two women and the choices that they've had to make and

[01:25:46] how this one horrible man is kind of involved yeah I think the movie kind of suffers for a big stretch in the middle and Barbara Hershey is not present I agree with that it's it's just incredibly

[01:25:58] frustrating to watch yes Malcolm it's wreak havoc on this movie even though it is somewhat dramatically interesting and the character is interesting and there's not a lot of movies like this but it's just I'm sorry I do want you know yeah some fulfillment and it's really hard

[01:26:15] you know like I also like I don't want to beat this guy but this movie is so fucking long and it gets very repetitive and it gets repetitive in a stretch that could probably incredibly frustrating

[01:26:26] like and I hate and dramatically repetitive I find that usually find that no kind of 15 minutes but like yes this is a movie where you're like you could have lost 45 minutes

[01:26:34] it is interesting and in a theater I've never seen it in the theater I wonder how it goes over in a theater being stuck with it I still I mean I we all were disappointed in it yeah my girlfriends

[01:26:44] and I said there are those bits like you know that you're like holy shit that's so interesting you know like there are and yeah yeah I mean Kidman there's a lot in the dossier about how

[01:26:53] like Campion made her audition constant like it was not easy this was not like oh yeah well they she said Campion said she regretted approaching Nicole about this project until To Die For came

[01:27:07] out because she wasn't sure she could handle the material yeah I think partly because she'd had Kidman and had this like half decade in Hollywood if not really being used that right right like so

[01:27:17] uh but Kidman wanted like Kidman heard like Campion's making Portrait of the Lady I want to be in that right them too and obviously they had had that early interaction she said when

[01:27:26] like she wanted her be in the short film I think she's beautiful in this movie I mean she has like that like alabaster skin the blue eyes like she looks very she you know she was very kid just a

[01:27:38] very striking person and it is that thing of just like her look has gotten so abstracted over the years we're even just like the amount of changes she's made to her hair it's like she's incapable

[01:27:50] of going back to her natural hair state I think at this point and it is so fascinating to look at like this color and this texture well she did the hair was a very deliberate decision yeah to

[01:28:00] have her hair be curly because I think did she say she hated her hair curly uh so three things Kidman as we say requested the 19 inch corset she wanted to be like psychologically in pain

[01:28:12] restricted cool uh two she wanted curly hair because um she had it that way when she was young and she didn't like herself like that she did not want to be quote-unquote beautiful like

[01:28:22] she wanted to look a bit yeah odd I guess she's still I guess it's just beautiful because I feel like she's also just incredibly striking yeah obviously her relationship with Campion you know

[01:28:33] endures they're really close she's supposed to be in in in the cut right she's in China girl like you know like she speaks very highly of Campion like she's on the award circuit with her right now yeah being Ricardo's and yeah but apparently they've interacted and they're you

[01:28:47] know whatever yeah it's a it's an enduring friendship no I was just gonna say I I feel like her hair was sort of like a defining characteristic of her the 295 movie she has

[01:28:58] straightened like blonde hair right absolutely so much of it was like oh she's this her hair's kind of red and curly fiery you know strawberry blonde by the time she gets the 2000s it's like no looking

[01:29:10] back she's straight from here on out right well she's got red hair and Moulin Rouge but straight that's true yeah the curly hair is gone I don't know I mean what she look like in Lion I don't

[01:29:20] remember what she looks she has she's kind of dowdy she's got like grayish blondish brownish short she she got she got an Oscar she did get an Oscar I like I like that movie yeah it made me cry

[01:29:31] I don't love that movie maybe like I like Kidman a lot but I sometimes feel like I'm uh I disagree on which modern Kidmans work for me and which ones which ones do you which as opposed to classic

[01:29:45] sure I mean modern Kidman you sort of mean like post Oscar Kidman or whatever like you know like I'd say like probably like last 10 12 years sure whatever what's your fav kid then I mean I

[01:29:57] remember being very now I gotta look at a fucking list but like uh I remember being a little bit disappointed by her performance in rabbit hole yeah not a movie I have which I just felt like

[01:30:07] oh she'll kill that she got an Oscar for that she did she did the paper boy love her that's I like uh Kidman and to steal a phrase from Lex G bozo mode yeah so paper boy stoker I love her in

[01:30:23] yes uh I love her in Aquaman she is good in Aquaman I haven't seen Aquaman you should check it out uh she's good in Beguiled yeah I like her in Beguiled uh Sacred Deer she is although

[01:30:36] she is you know like everyone except for Colin Farrell is and Barry Keegan are kind of props in that weird Yorga slant the most way but she is good there's so many weird like don't exist uh

[01:30:47] Kidman movies which is fun in Paddington I was gonna say a weirdly underrated no one talks about her because people love to so much and they love Hugh Grant it's like she fucking did it first

[01:30:59] obviously she's great and just go with it um great in the prom it is funny that the I think the only two Kidman's or three Kidman's the podcast is covered Aquaman bewitched unhappy feet

[01:31:13] is that it I think this is the fourth this is the fourth it is funny sometimes how how we plan we never touch the things they're known for right the prism for some of the biggest movie stars

[01:31:24] that we exclusively see them through yeah yeah that's funny and it's not like she hasn't obviously she's worked with plenty of major directors over the years and I do feel like now she's in this

[01:31:35] phase where she's like I mostly want to work with major like or in like Yorga slant the most she was basically like I'd like to be in a movie if you want to put me in one but then same with Robert

[01:31:46] Eggers right she's in the North oh she is that's that's gonna be something to look for it works so fucking much you're like it's a lot Ricardo's Nine Perfect Strangers The Prom The Undoing

[01:31:56] well that's the thing she did three tv like mini series yeah exactly Aquaman Boy Erased Destroyer those are all just the last four years yeah she works a ton um she's married to Keith Urban right

[01:32:10] she's still married to him yeah she is they're very much in love according to Instagram I went I covered the red carpet and after party for the golden compass I may have mentioned this on this

[01:32:19] podcast oh wow um and I remember her showing up with Urban and she's taller than him right yeah and it was always that funny thing of like after years of the Tom Cruise thing and everyone the

[01:32:30] joke of like her being like I can wear heels down I'm like she married another shorty guy she's a shorty short who kind of looks like Tom Cruise when she divorced him the long hair is

[01:32:39] very like oh sure vanilla sky mission impossible she also had that period of like interesting hookups post Tom Cruise where it's like is she dating Lenny Kravitz? They were engaged!

[01:32:48] I know there were like a lot but do you remember like every time there'd be the like have you heard Nicole Kidman might be dating yeah yeah it's one of the only Jimmy Fallon interviews I like

[01:33:00] have you guys seen that clip uh where he when Jimmy Fallon was at like peak SNL heartthrob and she was like Nicole Kidman post divorce okay and oh so they're on the couch together she yes and

[01:33:13] she invited herself back to his apartment and he just played PlayStation and it's like the only time I've seen Jimmy Fallon kind of actually like so I see they're talking they're recollecting about

[01:33:27] this she's like that time I tried to sleep with you and he's like what are you talking about my god I've never seen that I would kill myself he's like so mortified like mortified by it but

[01:33:37] especially since like she at that point is a super famous movie star yeah he was just like I had no idea he's like a guy who's on SNL right he was just like I didn't understand why you'd be

[01:33:46] here and she's like I'm like throwing myself at you and you're playing PlayStation I remember one right but she's sort of saying like it made me realize like this is like a boy I need to be

[01:33:56] with a man oh my god it's pretty savage but it's incredible wow that's really yeah anyway so the end of this back of this movie yeah it ends and with like a very 400 blows Antoine Duhonnel

[01:34:10] freeze frame yeah I we don't know what we don't know what uh decision this character runs away from a kiss from Figo um you don't it happens though I I didn't watch so she she she yeah

[01:34:25] she found out that may have texted me around two hours before this recording started saying like hey this movie isn't streaming can you get me a darn and I was like it's about two and a half

[01:34:34] hours long that might have happened okay that may have happened maybe all right she like check legends it's not human right no yeah she she gets a telegram that her cousin Ralph Touch It

[01:34:48] is about to die touch it touch it do I have a Ralph Touch It here and she wants to go back to England to be by his side and John Malkovich is like if you went you'd be making a terrible

[01:35:00] mistake um and she doesn't know what to do and she finds this thing out about the fact that Madame Merle is Pansy's mother right she's really yeah it's a fall with Shelley Duvall who's so

[01:35:13] good in this show goodness and this is sort of her to like her last run but yeah it's the tail end of her yeah yeah career um but it's a very fascinating use of her yeah she's really fun

[01:35:26] yeah really like her in this movie yeah I obviously love Shelley Duvall yes she's got this scene where she's trying to get Nicole Kidman to figure it out without having to spell

[01:35:36] it out in a sort of classic Shelley Duvall kind of way and that leads to the confrontation with the Barbara Hershey in the rain right and so Kidman does end up escaping to London she's with

[01:35:48] her cousin as he dies um he and he gives her the additional reveals yeah this last chunk of the movie's everyone being like you didn't know what was going on all fucking yeah uh and she you know

[01:36:02] has this moment with Vigo in the snow and we're basically like don't go back yeah he's like we figured it out we all all of your old friends have figured out how to get you out of this

[01:36:12] abusive relationship right and you have enough money we'll make it work it's just a little something about Mary we're like all the suitors have teamed up yeah and they're just like as

[01:36:22] long as it's not mad right exactly let's just knock this guy off the table and much is in the book we don't know we don't know what she's going to do yeah and it would be funny if Jane was like

[01:36:33] well I'm gonna add an ending but that's really like China did with Fight Club right yeah which is just in the news I've been trying to parse that when does it stop before the end of the movie like

[01:36:46] do you see no I think you know have you heard about this yes you my understanding is you see the buildings collapse and then it says shortly thereafter they were all apprehended yes but I

[01:36:55] believe it also says like they stopped the bombs or something and then my favorite part is it says that that uh Tyler maybe they don't see the building Tyler went to jail yeah Tyler who is

[01:37:05] not real right went to jail and was rehabilitated and got out of jail it's like there could be a sequel where he's good they stole the end title cards from Unbreakable right where it's like

[01:37:18] Tyler Durden is now in a prison for the criminally insane yeah but like it's anyway I like it people were mad about that I was like I don't know yeah more than trying to cut of everything

[01:37:29] let him cut it all the China Portrait of Lady is like and then John Malkovich died as he should he went straight to hell and pansy was free from the convent yeah like they add that I don't

[01:37:38] understand they wanted to prove the crime doesn't pay or whatever right like it was they added like a moral ending which makes no sense you can't watch Fight Club I definitely thought this was about a guy who was gonna get caught they said like they stopped the bombs

[01:37:51] and police apprehended everyone yeah Pucci returned to died on his way back home to his planet yeah yeah so I mean so that's pretty much how Portrait of a Lady ends right and so you walk

[01:38:03] out you know with your half-eaten nacho box your your big gulp of Mountain Dew and you're like cheeto popcorn totally yeah no uh and it but it is it is funny if you talk about we're not funny

[01:38:18] it's interesting and campions like overarching career narrative I don't think people really cite this as the big bounce no they think of no the holy smoke in the cut combo I think that's

[01:38:30] the real bounce that is this was seen as a disappointment and then the next two movies people were like what the fuck is she doing thing is like I said even though this movie made no

[01:38:38] money I do think the Oscar noms helps its reputation skate yeah uh and then obviously also even a female director if you've done the piano I do think you can you can survive a bomber too yes like it's not

[01:38:51] like Karen Kusama where it's like one flop straight you're not like you know like because the piano been such a thing yes and obviously she's from another country that's correct um but

[01:39:00] yes this film premiered in Venice got a limited Christmas release just what you want to see at Christmas feel good yeah oh are we moving on to the box office we will in a second oh okay well no

[01:39:12] I just final thoughts because I just wanted to offer something but continue no I want to hear ready and waiting fire them out all right so like you know how in movies there's like a disclaimer like like animals there's gonna be a lot of lights

[01:39:28] sure okay but no you mean like sure like if you've got epilepsy this is yeah movie a lot of this should have come with an add warning because it I had to like you would have had to have

[01:39:41] strapped me down to the couch going yeah I couldn't I could not watch the movie I couldn't watch it I was just like you were I know things are happening and yet I know I am not it's not

[01:39:53] registered I don't you mean this is like the opposite of like a Netflix movie where like if you put this out in the background you would absorb zero percent right like you're just doing

[01:40:03] this or an angel at my table more difficult to get through um this really you liked an angel at my table I like I like an angel at my table a lot but the first like hour and a half of that

[01:40:15] movie it was difficult before she's like I was pretty immediately the thing went into my table is it's like you are following one person's journey in a fairly straight line so like

[01:40:25] I can at least grab onto that I guess you know I mean I know what you mean that obviously it's more abstract and yeah kind of you know broken up memories early on so it's sort of like what am

[01:40:36] I watching I feel like I've talked about this but my most extreme example of what you're talking about Ben still remains in the seven years of doing this podcast k19 the widow maker where I

[01:40:45] just could not watch that fucking movie that I'd like put it on and I fall asleep and I'd be like okay time to give it another shot and then I fall asleep again sometimes it's not even the movie

[01:40:56] it's just it's whatever you're not in the mood for you know a heavy soviet drama summary usually I watch like the movies the day of right before right which I think you shouldn't do but that's

[01:41:08] what you think that but I like to be hyper fresh or whatever that was where I do feel like I likes it fresh I like it I like it yeah I like a hot and fresh baby um but that was one where I was

[01:41:19] like trying to watch it four days before we recorded or whatever and I was just like maybe not in the mood went back to it the next day and I was like maybe it's more of an evening movie

[01:41:29] yeah interesting question to post the blankies what is the most boring right we've ever had will come up a lot weight of water my number two weight of water is gonna come up for sure

[01:41:40] what's the movie about the sky aloha aloha's aloha is wild chaotic yeah aloha you're you're yeah right I want to point out that this film Barbara Hershey got David did you ever receive

[01:41:54] the copy of Elizabeth town I sent you oh yeah it's on the show you never talked about I think I took a picture of it and forgot to send it to the group is there an Elizabeth town steelbook

[01:42:02] no but he's like a special edition right the paramount presents or selects label or whatever it looks I'm gonna watch it again sometime maybe David was saying he was considering watching it

[01:42:14] and then I bought him a copy of it on the plane check company card very good and then you never I totally am I'm sure it arrived early in parenthood yeah they are both wearing bomba

[01:42:28] socks I want to point out this film Barbara Hershey won the golden globe I would sorry was nominated for the golden yes one lafka and won the national society of film critics awards okay martin donovan won best supporting actor at the national society film critics that's an

[01:42:45] interesting pick yeah that's interesting I think he's good oh he is good I just always I'm happy to see him yeah uh and you know this is the year this is 96 so I feel like secrets and lies is a

[01:42:55] big critics favorite breaking the waves was a big critic favorite like attack of the euro indie year where they're like Hollywood can't even get a movie in right this is the Fargo because Jerry

[01:43:05] Jerry McGuire is like the one Hollywood hit um right so obviously Fargo is a big one everyone says I love you the people versus Larry Flint uh since Big Night is popping up on some of these and

[01:43:17] national society film critics gave best actor to Eddie Murphy for the Nutty Professor a fun win yes anyway I remember Elvis Mitchell was like all about that that season he just kept on saying like

[01:43:27] why is no one taking this seriously it's a best actor contender fair point um but this film opened to Venice and got a you know muted to negative response so they weren't chanting portrait

[01:43:37] portrait like they did with angel it's just sort of like a light clap kind of obviously as we all say as we were saying you know the piano cast such a long shadow so it was sort of right for a backlash

[01:43:49] it was like okay finally Jane Campion's put a foot wrong I'll say this too I know it was done partially in tribute but Portrait of a Lady on Fire has really fucked up the seo on this movie

[01:44:00] it has it is of course a sequel to this film yes there was really like there was candles but not a lot of fire in this no not a lot of fire um it's if you go on letterboxd like every dumb like little

[01:44:14] review people she wasn't on fire I was like watch another movie hey Marie that's funny yeah hold on first time you see it it's funny the second time you see it it's stupid if you wrote a review

[01:44:27] like that and you're listening good you're cool and I like I'm gonna post that review right now and I ask that all of our listeners like it okay uh Lee Marshall I want to say Lee Marshall of

[01:44:38] the Independent who loved this film uh said that he thinks the backlash was partly because the piano had been such a big deal but I do love this quote we should put it on the blank check

[01:44:49] we should all put it no we're not putting it on the blank check otherwise Marie White right runs that and she wouldn't want it no I mean normally I just for these new releases I just do the episode

[01:45:00] descriptions but hey look maybe review and I don't want anyone stealing my thunder you haven't done a letterboxd review in a minute Griffin the last one I did was uh busted made me feel bad after

[01:45:11] seeing afterlife and I think that was my first review in three years because I stopped I didn't like everyone fucking trying to triangulate what we're doing on the podcast by looking at our activities I know I've been sneaky on the letterbox David sorry what were you saying

[01:45:25] okay Lee Marshall's quote busy writing my incredible review Lee Marshall's quote the fuck why wasn't she on fire one star um about the Venice Film Festival premiere the atmosphere of fully armed belligerence at the press screening was so thick you could have cut

[01:45:40] it with a chainsaw as we shuffled in the press rep warned me this is a film you need to be wide awake okay afterwards following some perfunctory applause the audience filed out in silence

[01:45:53] you could spot the daily newspaper critics by the worried look in their eyes a work look which said for christ's sakes I've got a deadline what the hell am I meant to think about this film

[01:46:03] do you relate to that I do relate to that in that like I don't have to write I'm not like a I work for a trade so it's not like I walk out of a festival and have to be like okay I gotta

[01:46:11] have an opinion in half an hour but definitely you see those movies where you're like I I don't know give me give me a day yeah I don't know and this certainly probably would be need to digest

[01:46:20] need to digest um but didn't get great reviews uh Ebert as you said was basically like if you haven't read the book I don't know how this movie makes any sense to you and why the fuck

[01:46:32] is Malkovich in this movie he's so malevolent why would she ever marry sure uh where Campion's take is he's malevolent in the book it's and it's not honestly there's something kind of hot

[01:46:43] about how I agree with that yeah that's her take um I don't want to do the limited weekend for this because that's when Michael came out so we did that fairly recently so how about the expanding

[01:46:54] weekend okay and it let's expand our minds I'm gonna make sure we've never okay so the portrait of a lady expands on January 17th a lady expands a lady expands to 570 theaters and makes

[01:47:06] 1.4 million dollars sorry expands into more theaters I mean how how much did it make again I missed that uh in its expansion it made 1.4 million its total domestic gross is 3.6 wow so

[01:47:24] number one at the box office is a comedy film starring I think someone who had recently died or he was about to uh candy yeah no it's um uh Chris Farley is it almost heroes no okay uh

[01:47:37] it's not almost heroes it is Chris Farley and he dies he dies this year it's Beverly Hills right his last pretty much his last right exactly okay uh but it is opening number one on January

[01:47:49] 17th to seven to twelve million dollars is that a portrait classic man yeah Ben I'm looking at you here he's waiting he's deep in contemplation but whether or not it qualifies because it's kind

[01:47:58] of bad okay it's kind of bad right yeah I've never seen it uh Kung Fu of course is the tagline which is a good tagline I just watched the trailer for that for the first time I didn't know why'd

[01:48:10] you do that why uh because I had I had a conversation with my friends about almost heroes my friend watched it and he was like my friend Chad who is a fan of the podcast uh he

[01:48:23] he was like you know he thought it might secretly be good because I Christopher Guest directed it right that's almost here right yeah and then he's like no it is terrible and you're watching like

[01:48:33] two actors with very serious substance abuse issues like and Harry both yes like a yeah so he's like it was just a miserable watch right and that comes out after he died yeah but that like I

[01:48:44] the only Farley movie I've seen is uh Tommy Boy which is pretty much where you have to yeah it's I really liked it but I was like oh Beverly Hills Ninja like what's Kung Fu you want you

[01:48:56] want him to have made other good movies I didn't realize that that movie is about like him being like adopted by a group of like ninjas ninjas because they think like that he is the chosen

[01:49:08] one so it's sort of a Kung Fu Panda situation yeah this unlikely guy for some reason yeah this white guy but then but then they were like oh what if we put some meat into it Nicolette

[01:49:20] about it is that he kind of like he always would be clean shaven uh-huh and in that movie he kind of has a little bit of scruff or at least like a bowl haircut he's got a bowl hair right but he just

[01:49:32] he liked I didn't get it at first but it's starting to clear up for me a little bit do you know they did a direct-to-video uh Beverly Hills Ninja uh sequel they did in the last 10

[01:49:47] years do you know who they uh cast to replace Chris Farley I do not know okay so but 2010 you're doing Ninja there's the obvious well just tell me who is in Beverly Hills who's the obvious

[01:49:59] person you're thinking about like a Kevin James yeah maybe right yeah no obvious obvious very close to who they pick David Hasselhoff well that's just another direction 2010 Beverly that's weird extra credit assignment for blankies we're gonna do them on the patreon you know the

[01:50:19] Farley thing right like so it's basically what like Airheads Tommy Boy Black Sheep Beverly Hills Ninja Almost Heroes like that's basically Billy Madison Billy Madison has a small role Wayne's World he pops up he's in both Wayne's Worlds different roles yeah but like right like

[01:50:35] I can forget Airheads even it's really just Tommy Boy Black Sheep Beverly Hills Ninja Almost Heroes four vehicles it's always the same right he's always like a fuck up yeah who's goofy but you

[01:50:46] love him right like like he never deviated from that right he was just gonna do that for a while well that was his whole thing right like he needed to be loved like like he loved to be loved

[01:50:56] but like when was do you think like say Chris Farley figures it out yeah like is there a phase where he's like what if I played someone scary or what if I played like someone more villainous

[01:51:04] I don't know there were things he was supposed to I mean what he was gonna play Shrek he was he recorded like a lot of it he records 60% of the movie you can really animation to Chris

[01:51:14] Farley's voice a very famous like what if scenario yeah this bizarre thing about Shrek is they designed it for him he recorded 60% of the movie they were animating it they died they were

[01:51:26] like fuck some cost we have to start over right they hire Mike Myers Mike Myers records 60% of the movie they start animating it they do a rough screening with like 60% animated he goes to

[01:51:37] Jeffrey Katzenberg and he's like I think you should be Scottish and he's like Mike it will cost me 20 million dollars to throw this out and start over and reanimate if you want to do Scotch

[01:51:47] he's like I really think you should be Scottish and they do the third time through and it works I mean that was the right when did they like just like don't care don't care yeah

[01:51:58] hey uh don't you think that's what it was like Katzenberg's like that's a bad idea and he went don't care Katzenberg's dollars god damn it at what point in the production history do they decide to get rid of Shrek's hair

[01:52:13] did Shrek have hair Shrek had hair you have a bowl cut that that happens I think after the Farley death okay design the whole character because if you I know if you go to the academy

[01:52:23] museum yes in Hollywood they have an original like maquette of Shrek right with hair yeah he had a little he had a little bowl because it was a William Stieg book it is in the original

[01:52:34] Farley version he was much closer to that art style and then I think after uh Farley died that changed no I think because it was also like Farley there were always things that got thrown

[01:52:42] I'm trying to remember now there are other movies that were like written for Farley you hear a lot of that got me county vehicles later five years later right this that were slightly different

[01:52:52] types and I feel like he was one of the people who would get thrown around for confederacy of dunces because anytime someone's about to die and he wrote they say that maybe they're going to do

[01:53:03] confederacy but yeah it's no it is but also it happened well feral and it happened with Galifianakis it happens with fucking everybody I think um time boy is the only one that gets it

[01:53:12] right and it's weird that it's the first one and you don't think that guy would necessarily work as the lead of a movie and they cracked it in terms of him actually having a sense of humanity

[01:53:22] and integrity to him and trying really hard and then they fuck it up and then he dies number two at the box office yeah is another film starring a comedy icon we were just talking about

[01:53:32] him uh mike myers indirectly no but a co-star of mike myers not trailer another snl guy no well yes he's an s.m. eddie murphy eddie murphy eddie murphy uh not not a mike myers

[01:53:46] contemporary trust okay um probably one of his most forgotten films in this sort of like i feel like dr. doolittle has maybe just or is about to come out like dr. doolittle i think

[01:53:57] comes out in 97 this and this is jan 97 so like this is sort of the end of his like okay adult sure star sort of swoon right he's about to swer obviously at nutty professor the year before

[01:54:09] this isn't holy man is it it's not holy man that comes out post dr. doolittle that's another weird flop there's a bow finger not both is it metro it's metro thank you

[01:54:19] metro never seen metro action negotiator and i think like funny i think he's a little funny in it right it's like a more of an action movie eddie had that weird thing in the 90s like an

[01:54:31] r-rated action he got very jealous of wesley snipes yeah and it's why like beverly hills cop three has two jokes in it right and why he did metro where he was just like i want to be able

[01:54:41] to be an action star but like metro is still marketed as like this negotiators got one big mouth like you know it's trying to be like don't worry eddie's here right you know but he's like

[01:54:52] funny the way like samuel l jackson is funny and diehard with a vengeance it's not an action comedy necessarily uh metro not a big hit yeah um number three of the box office a musical

[01:55:04] number three of the box office of music evita evita evita helen parker's evita is that the one where it's like don't cry for me argentina you nailed it that was a big it's not where she says

[01:55:16] kung fu oh okay she comes out of the balcony it's getting better not a good movie but you watch it and you are like god damn like i do love how fucking blown

[01:55:32] out the picture you know it is a picture what other banderas is smoking hot jonathan price smoking hot he is smoking cold what um cold cut andrew lloyd weber adaptations uh-huh cats jesus christ superstar lame as who's in jesus christ superstar uh me no i don't know

[01:55:51] were you in jesus christ superstar uh no i wasn't actually my my uh school did do a production we did godspell uh no one famous is in is in the yeah the 70s opera fam of the opera yes

[01:56:05] yep is evita the best one um that's a good question it's not very it's kind of the classiest one yeah because like in that like when they finally do phantom it's junkie like that movie

[01:56:19] yes is fun in its way but it's a joel schumacher movie it's very junkie right which i think is a good match for him in a way because he's a junkie guy yes but he thinks of himself as i guess prestige

[01:56:31] lame is peep i mean it won awards but does that yeah evita is way better yeah yeah is there any i'm like are we forgetting so obviously cats is a disaster i do think the

[01:56:44] norman jewison jesus christ superstar is good i've never underrated so maybe but i think yeah sure evita give it to evita true uh number four at the box office is a horror film that's dropped from

[01:56:55] number one the week before a classic january release um uh like a dump is does this movie have any merit david i i think it is it's one of those movies i've always wanted to see it's a

[01:57:07] monster movie huh uh it was it's the kind of movie where the poster doesn't have any people on it just a building what um and it's about the monster it's like there's a monster on the loose okay

[01:57:20] it's got the classic you know america's favorite two stars in the 90s penelope ann miller and tom size what the fuck is this like alligator no is it is the name of the movie the name of the

[01:57:34] the creature and i'm no no what the fuck is this it's directed by peter hyams okay um and it made 48 million dollars worldwide posters a building it's uh i believe it was

[01:57:49] meant to be set in the american museum of natural history but i think it's actually set in the field museum of natural history in chicago but something does a dinosaur come to life it's like a lizard

[01:57:57] thing like a south american lizard monster comes to life and goes on a killing spree in a museum wow sounds great yeah relic relic relic yes okay i always get that confused with mimic i just oh yes

[01:58:11] well mimic is a better movie that's del toro yes obviously i just like where that's one of the worst i don't know there's a light in the building no it's a shit take your medicine piggy i'm tired

[01:58:22] it's january i don't know there's a relic it's jane figure it out that should have been the tag line i don't know it's january who knows who's in it fuck you penelope ann miller satisfied maybe

[01:58:38] linda hunt is in this too oh i bet you it's good is there a relic series is this a patreon contender yeah relics uh number five of the box office is one of my favorite films of all time

[01:58:49] we've covered it on jerry mcguire it's jerry mcguire jay mcwagg's uh doing great in its fifth sixth week you've also got scream ah you've got michael ah you've got the people versus larry flint you've got 101 dalmatians

[01:59:06] oh with glenn and you've got uh jackie chan's first strike oh you're a fool no not this guy not this guy um no solid january some crap but you could also go see evita or jerry mcguire

[01:59:21] some stuff catch up on scream the movie all the kids are seeing yeah it's got that kind of font screen yeah oh on my shirt yeah very 90s font yeah do you see scream yet no scream i have not

[01:59:36] seen new scream i was going to go to the last showing at the uh united artists courtship um we lost another uh great theater recently we did prayers up i mean not that i hadn't been since

[01:59:49] my experience with molly's game there but i mean i love what was your experience with molly's game digs out for you of course my experience at molly's game was the movie did not start

[01:59:58] right like we're joey like that's prop that's kind of good kind of good joey and i were just sitting there and after like 20 minutes i was like okay and so i go and like find someone who

[02:00:08] like i was like movie didn't start and they're like okay and uh so the movie started half an hour late and but whatever and we're sitting watching the movie and then half an hour before the movie

[02:00:16] supposed to be and curtains closed lights come up like it was just on a timer and it was during a very intense scene like classic bob is like attacking her or she breaks into her house

[02:00:28] like all right everybody out classic i never had any of like the iconically terrible experiences there that people had had wonderful experiences there but i certainly have had a few of them my friend got kicked out of the theater for yelling this movie sucks balls during van housing

[02:00:43] which is egregious because there was no theater which people yelled more often at any movie and they had like three employees escort him out right well uh i've also told the story about when i took

[02:00:55] a date there to see uh soul plane and there was uh one african-american man in the theater and like 15 hasidic jews and then two 15 year olds on a date what everyone was uncomfortable like the

[02:01:07] dynamics were just incredibly that's like a that's a real brooklyn experience it was yes yes yes uh i saw the last movie i saw there was in the heights a completely empty theater uh so i just

[02:01:19] got to take my phone out and uh get photos of the dear evan hansen trailer the whole time as yeah it was it was just so big it was so much time i think dr sleep was the last thing i saw

[02:01:31] there yeah i haven't been there in a really long time but i'll share what i loved about that theater is checkers was across the street so i would go because i would be kind of baked pop eyes next

[02:01:42] door as well it was kind of a heathen but i would just get some chicken sandwiches and eat those while watching the movie yeah all true shout out my little pizzeria my favorite pizzeria around

[02:01:53] there on court street love that spot me shop across it when yeah like it was uh it was uh it was a very new york theater that's all we can say about it vulture wrote a great piece with a

[02:02:03] bunch of different uh accounts of people i've seen more movies there in this country at least than in any other theater i think yeah just because that was the spot you said in this country

[02:02:12] yeah i i'm cool i walked there during hurricane sandy because uh we were desperate to leave our apartment and so we all walked from bed stuy to court street to see flight hey great movie to see

[02:02:29] during a storm great movie to see during a storm uh you rolled it yeah you're feeling all right okay we're done thank you all for listening here we go that's a segue please remember to rate review

[02:02:42] and subscribe thank you to marie barley for social media and so many other things you're welcome thanks for having me on uh always a pleasure it's it's it's it's like you know it's it's gonna be a

[02:02:56] while until i'm on again i think judging on what we're doing in the future no no you're good you're yeah um thank you to aj mccann alex barron for our editing joe bowen pat reynolds for our artwork

[02:03:10] lane montgomery the great american novel for our theme song thank you jj birch and clarion for our research uh you can go blankies are red.com for some real nerdy shit our website's going to

[02:03:23] be launching soon and everything's going to be centralized so i no longer have to list 17 different websites at the end of each episode so look out for that that's where market madness

[02:03:35] voting will be happening that's where it will be easier to uh be easier to find our merch including new chip coins and the spreadmaster spatula commemorative item for the 2021 ranking the

[02:03:47] way do you know about this do you know that we made a custom spatula yeah oh oh yeah the spreadmaster the spreadmaster refer to the spatula by its proper name think about it at home you want

[02:03:57] to get your spread on spread it up you want to get spreaded you know what to reach for you're trying to like frost a cake or something yeah just trying to get down in that bowl yeah grab yourself

[02:04:11] spreadmaster talking walk 2021 blank check podcast merch david has fallen into the sunken place no i'm just looking at no i'm fine i'm good um i just got it yeah he is floating sort of down i just got

[02:04:26] i just got a text from my friends uh with a link to a one-star review of the portrait of a lady oh that says da fuck why wasn't she on fire huh that sounds like a pretty funny that's actually

[02:04:40] hold on i'm laughing when i hear that review and i i actually i actually beg our listeners to like this because by the time this episode comes out probably 15 different film bro guys on twitter

[02:04:55] captioned have screenshotted my review and god why does anyone listen to this guy's seriously people actually listen to this guy i guarantee that's happened at least 10 times by now so i'm

[02:05:05] i'm asking the blankies to just hit that fucking like but smash i hate this like why are we not done we are done okay tune in next week for holy smoke holy canon yeah that's great how be can that's

[02:05:21] right great up great up fun app corker it's a cool there's an incredible campion tidbit some good campion yeah irl tidbits in that one i haven't seen that movie i'm excited to watch it

[02:05:33] i think you're gonna enjoy i think i hear that there's some some uh p in it yeah there's yep indeed uh we also get a lot of mad max talk because uh i'm a mad max which is really anyway uh listen to that and as always

[02:05:53] hung fool damn right thank you don't care