The Terminal with Jerah Milligan

[00:00:01] Blank Check with Griffin and David, Blank Check with Griffin and David, Don't know what to say or to express All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check

[00:00:21] I have a bit of bad news. It seems that your country has suspended all traveling privileges on passports that have been issued by your government and our State Department has revoked a visa that was going to allow you to enter the United States. That's it in a nutshell.

[00:00:32] While you were in the air, there was a military coup in your country. Now most of dead members... What the hell is this? This is the worst thing in the world!

[00:00:39] ...were members of the Presidential Guard. They were attacked in the middle of the night. They got it all on GHN. There were very few civilian casualties, so I'm sure your family is fine.

[00:00:47] But no more Cacosia. New government, revolution. So all the flights in your country have been suspended indefinitely and the new government has sealed all borders, which means your passport and visa are no longer valid.

[00:00:57] So currently you are a citizen of nowhere. Even if we could get you new papers, we couldn't process them until the United States recognizes your country's new diplomatic reclassification. You don't qualify for asylum, refugee status, temporary protective status, humanitarian parole, non-immigrant work travel visa.

[00:01:12] You are at this time simply podcastable. Wait, first off. You did the whole Stanley Tutti monologue just for the last word of your podcastable? That is correct. I see why you and John are friends because that is the worst. That's some bullshit. Like that is the worst.

[00:01:31] He messed it up. I interrupted him. He didn't stop. Because it was so long! This is when people start a podcast. When people start a podcast they turn it off if they don't like what they hear.

[00:01:41] You want to draw someone in? I'm a journalist. You write a lead to hook someone. What he did was the opposite. Oh guys, we had a problem with recording Griffin do the whole thing again. No! Is this real? No, I'm fucking around. Thank God!

[00:01:53] Welcome to Blank Check with Griffin and David. My name is Griffin. I'm David Sims. This podcast is about filmography. Directors who have massive success early on in their career and given a series of blank checks make whatever crazy projects they want.

[00:02:06] Sometimes those checks clear, sometimes they bounce, baby. Yes. Today we're doing part of our miniseries. Pardon me if you cast. The film's a Steven Spielberg, the dream works here. Arguably the biggest blank check ever. Man founded his own studio just to make whatever people want.

[00:02:20] Man built his own airport terminal to make a movie. He did. And that was a line from the very quotable film, The Terminal. I mean, I understand that there's not a good line in The Terminal. Correct. Like there's not really a lot of hot lines.

[00:02:38] No, he has one. He has one. Cacogia. Yeah, that's the big one. Cacogia. Cacogia. Whatever it's called. Poccaigia. You know what? There is Catherine Zeta-Jones yelling, get away from me. I'm sick. Oh yeah. That does stick in my memory.

[00:02:51] I mean, I feel like the most notable line of dialogue in the movie is also my least favorite line in the movie. So I didn't want to use that. Which is?

[00:02:58] Which is why would a woman like you, any man she wants, go for a man like Victor Nivorski. Oh yeah. And then she goes, that's something a man like you could never understand. I could have done that with podcasts. Boo. I'm going to introduce our guest.

[00:03:12] We're very excited to have him on because it's been a long time in the movie. We've been trying. Yep. We've been trying. Not only were you on the books to be an episode, but we actually promised that you were going to be in an episode. Right.

[00:03:23] Then you weren't. True lies. We thought we were going to have you on true lies and then our schedules all flashed. But it's happening now.

[00:03:28] But I had a lot of people like when we announced it and we rarely at the end of an episode announce the next guest because we don't want to call a shot and have it fall through. But I was so confident we were getting you on.

[00:03:36] We were all so committed to it. And I had a lot of people go like, oh that's going to be a good episode. I think will reach out to me and go, that's exciting. You're having drawn for true lies. That makes me feel good. Didn't work out.

[00:03:46] We announced our next misers Spielberg and I messaged you and I go, hey, here's the list. Yep. Pretty much only two movies have been claimed at that point. So I pretty much gave you fair reign over the Spielberg filmography and said what jumps out to you?

[00:03:59] Any of these jump out to you and you without hesitation said, oh. I like terminal. And once again, Also, a lot of people going to say that I believe you told me that you own the terminal. I own the terminal and DVD. Okay. On DVD.

[00:04:14] You don't earn the actual terminal that they built. No, no, I don't own that because you know he didn't live in like a special terminal. He just lived like by the gate. Technically, He lives by an uncompleted gate 67. Yeah. Yes. It was a JFK or a LaGuardia.

[00:04:26] It is JFK. Okay. But it is modeled on Dusseldorf International Airport. That is like the Paris. No, no, Dusseldorf. The Paris one is where the real guy was the real guy. Charles De Gaulle. That is correct.

[00:04:41] I don't know if you do stories, but I got stuck in an airport on New Year's. We do sounds like some some comic gold guys stuck in the airport. 20 hours stuck in an airport with New Year's 20 Paris. Paris to go to go where the original guy was stuck.

[00:04:56] Yeah. 2017. This year. So this is a hot story. This is hot. Okay. Hot and fresh. Okay. This is a fresh, angry story that's about to go down right now. Okay. Hot and fresh. I probably won't get a job, but you know what? So what?

[00:05:10] So, me and my friends did buddy passes. I won't say we're airline because I got in trouble saying it before. We did buddy passes. The guy checked us in but gave away our ticket. Like gave away the seats because his buddy passes.

[00:05:22] We didn't know every time we were like, oh, can we get on now? He's like, no, just wait. This woman comes on and does one of the best con artists moves out. She like has a breakdown.

[00:05:30] Like I'm talking about like she goes nuts and she lays on the ground. Then her son, like who's a little kid sits down next to him like Pat sir. The guys like, oh no, no, we'll get you and your four other family members on the plane.

[00:05:42] All of a sudden the guy turns around the woman gets up. I will never forget the woman gets up does like a little smile and elbow thing to the little kid and he just like happy. I like what the deuce. She did it.

[00:05:55] And the thing is it was such a beautiful move that I was like, why did I not do this? When anyone of carrot and I professional like to why did I not do it? Unloaded. Yo, okay. So you get stuck. We get stuck for 26 hours.

[00:06:08] But the beauty is to get to a bar the gate which is nice and fancy. They had sleep pods. We're like, yeah, this isn't this whatever. We're thinking of another flight. We're thinking of getting another flight. You got to go back out through security to get your flights.

[00:06:21] The airline didn't even give us a flight. Okay, we had to go buy somewhere else. But the problem was is that we couldn't check into the flight until three hours before. But now we're not through security. So now we're just in no man's land.

[00:06:30] We're just in the lobby. We're just in the lobby. No man's land. And we're Americans. So we're like eating Starbucks for dinner. That's all we could get. And a woman sees us and it's me and three of my friends. They're both brown people.

[00:06:41] And women's like I need to go back to America. Y'all messing up the world. Who is this woman? Random woman on a random speaking English. Speaking English. I mean, she has an accent. But like speaking English and like her boyfriend is like definitely on drugs.

[00:06:53] And he's like just ignore other people around like just ignore. And she's like Americans mess up everything. And then we're like, you know, things are rough for us. We're scared to, you know, she's like no, especially the brown ones. And I was like, oh, good.

[00:07:03] Ah, you got to go. I was gonna say, because she gave herself a little wiggle room by saying Americans were messing up everything. Exactly. And then she was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:07:14] No gray. I just like every element of who you are. Everything. Everything is like we were stuck like sleeping in like we're in like the the project version of the airport because we took like the little, you were taking you into bad.

[00:07:22] Yeah, we were in a bad part. We were trying to go to sleep. Terminal. I felt like him. Yeah. You know, the airline gave us like a toothbrush and I'm disinfecting the wife the wife your underarms and I'm like, oh man, I feel, oh, this feels like trash.

[00:07:37] I remember going to sleep and waking up and there was a whole man circling like the area and I wake up and he's just looking. Just look because it's me, my friend, she's asleep, my other friend just went to sleep immediately so he's knocked out.

[00:07:49] I hate those people who go right to sleep. Just right to sleep immediately. And I'm just up and the dude is just staring and I don't know if he wants to rob, or kill me or eat me. And then he walked away and,

[00:08:00] dude every 10 minutes, so walking around just circling. Guys, I feel, I feel okay. So you feel like Victor Navorsky? I feel for Victor in this man. Victor Navorsky, I already, Karkoja. Karkoja. Karkoja. Our guest is Jerome Milligan. Oh yeah, right. Oh yeah, sorry. By the Kitchup in Hollywood.

[00:08:17] Yes, one of the hosts, the Blackman, Kenchup and the Poppins. The third and final, we did it. We beat, got to James and Bray? Yeah, we got the set now. Oh, Bray, we got all three of you guys. Bray did the Star Wars cartoon show

[00:08:27] and James did After Earth. Ugh, After Earth was rough. Ugh, it's a rough movie. Is After Earth a good movie? Don't you do this. The thing is like, this was the one question. Is After Earth a good movie? I want Will Smith, guys, to just be great again.

[00:08:39] Yeah. Like make Will Smith great again. Yeah, that would be great. And it's just... Do you hear what he's working on next? Oh, the fucking Tim Burton Dumbbell movie? What the fuck? But do you know who else they announced is gonna be in it? Tom Hanks. No.

[00:08:52] Tom Hanks is gonna be the villain and Will Smith is gonna be the hero and neither of them are Dumbbell. They're both apparently playing humans in the movie. Well, is Dumbbell gonna be like a CGI elephant or something? I guess, who doesn't talk

[00:09:03] and so the humans, it's like, God, let's not do this, guys. Yeah, we shouldn't do this. And my thing is, first off, we know Dumbbell has the crows. Are the crows gonna be in it? It's like so many questions I have about Dumbbell. You can't have the crows.

[00:09:15] You can't have the crows. You can't have the crows. But the thing is, the crow song is so intertict... Like there's so many Disney movies I look back on now, like, how did that go? How did I miss this? Yeah, sure. How did we miss this?

[00:09:27] How did I miss that? We don't know. I was like, I watched Bambi with a five-year-old and a two-year-old a little while ago and they're just chill watching Bambi and I'm all like close to tears. I'm like, how would they, you know... How do you...

[00:09:40] You just watch a movie. Man, I watched Lady in the Tramp recently and one of my friends, she's an agent actress and she was like, wait till we get to it, man. And I didn't think about it. She was like, wait till we get to these cats

[00:09:51] and I was like, what cats? The cats come up and I'm like, oh. You're like, this is a movie about dogs? I'm like, get no cats in this. The cats come in and I'm like, oh, oh. The cats got to, they put teeth on them

[00:10:03] and I'm like, oh, this isn't good. And they're like, ooh, childhood, y'all. Childhood. Yeah, also, weirdly aggro line, we are Siamese if you please. We are Siamese if you don't please. Yeah, I was like, what is this? That's a weird thing to say.

[00:10:15] And the cats are a little like sliding across the carpet of snakes. I'm like, oh, this is weird. Yeah. It's a... And it doesn't have any plot importance Nope. to Lady in the Tramp. They were just like, now we'll have some Siamese cats.

[00:10:28] So they don't play that in a cajole. And their song will be They don't play that in a cajole. They don't pass the cajole. They ain't going down. It's not in the Cacogia edit. So just put this in Spielberg context. Sure.

[00:10:39] He's just made, he just did his minority report Catch Me If You Can 2002. Great. He takes a year off and he announces I'm making like a broad kind of heartwarming comedy with my man Tom Hanks. Getting him back in. Which was, this is not on its face

[00:10:57] a very Spielberg movie. Certainly in sort of scale. No, not really. It's one of those movies where you can imagine there's like a 15 or $20 million version of this movie. Sure, even like a 35. That's directed by like Sean Levy. Totally, exactly. And stars like fucking whoever.

[00:11:12] It's very easy to imagine like a Robin Williams, Christopher Columbus version. Jim Carrey, anyone. You can imagine any comedy A-lister or B-plus-lister. But suddenly it's a Tom Hanks Steven Spielberg movie. The budget gets much bigger. It becomes like a middle of summer event film. Sure.

[00:11:28] One of the last times that like a mild mannered comedy was like submitted as like a summer blockbuster. It's like a rom-com if you think about it. It's sort of a rom-com but then it turns out like not to be. It's a deep, you know what it is?

[00:11:40] It's like, this is the thing I think people forget that you can do. I just say rom-com has taken on like this like, like a rom-comy thing. You can like really have some weight to a romantic comedy. Like there's like moments that are like very heavy

[00:11:53] in this movie but not too heavy that you're like, oh God, I need some napkins, some crying. But it is legit, like he has a love interest. Like there's a secondary love story in it. Yeah, but it's almost a plot point that she disappears

[00:12:08] for like 20 minutes of the film at a time. It's very spaced out. It's sort of like one fourth of the movie is very focused on that. But it's not a continuous four. At this point, Catherine Zeta-Jones has just won an Oscar.

[00:12:19] I think this is her direct follow up to the Oscar? No, because she's in top of a cruelty 2003. Oh, correct. Correct and Ocean's 13 comes out, or Ocean's 12 comes out to the movie. Yeah, right, that's what I'm into. She comes out after this.

[00:12:28] Yeah, she had a good run man. Where is Catherine Zeta-Jones? This is the end. Yeah, can we pull up her filmography quickly because I was looking last night, I watched this movie very late in about Insomnia and then like was like, I gotta figure out Catherine Zeta-Jones' career

[00:12:43] because I remember- What she did was she stopped making movies. Yeah. She decided to stop. Oh, she wanted to. And then she couldn't come back. Well, I know one big thing that happened was she had kids and she also was fighting with bipolar disorder.

[00:12:52] Oh okay, I didn't know that. She publicly came out as a sufferer of bipolar disorder. And like, when did Michael Godduck was get cancer? Oh, he battled cancer too. When was that? There was a really tumultuous family period that I think was on either side of that.

[00:13:05] She, I think, checked herself into treatment for a while. I think they remember that too. Yeah, he got cancer then he said he got cancer because he ate her out too much. First off, I remember that. Which literally, he said that on a red carpet.

[00:13:17] I was like, bruh, first off, I respect you for going down on your lady. Hey, three cheers. Three cheers for going down on your lady but she just painted it by saying- This where that's being discussed. But also, my thing is, even if it wasn't her specifically,

[00:13:31] I was like, oh, I probably ate too many vaginas when I was younger. It's like, bruh, are we low-key bragging? Right, right. What do we do? Look, I get when you have cancer, you want to, you know, Godduck closes the door, opens the window.

[00:13:42] You want to find a silver lining somewhere. True, very true. So maybe that was his attempt. But you know, the weird wrinkle is, I found out he- He had more than one weird wrinkle. Yes, it's a reference to his age. I'm trying to remember what the two were,

[00:13:56] but he misrepresented which form of cancer he had. Yeah, right, right, right. He said he had like jaw cancer when he actually had tongue cancer or something. The cancer he had, if the surgery was botched, he never would have been able to talk again.

[00:14:09] But he didn't want to make that public because he didn't want to not be insurable as an actor. So he pretended it was a different type of cancer and came up with a reason why he got that type of cancer, which was like HPV- Too much canalingus, yeah.

[00:14:22] Yeah, it's really, yeah. All right, look. The whole thing was fucking- All right, okay, okay. So here's Catherine Zeta-Jones. I'm gonna run through her career for you guys real fast. Please, please. It's because it's insane. So Catherine Zeta-Jones, she's a Welsh actress.

[00:14:32] She's in the Darling of Buds and May. She's like some semi-well known in Britain as like a young engineer. But isn't really taken seriously as an actor? No, she's in a movie called Blue Juice with the immigrant that is worth seeing because it is bonkers.

[00:14:43] But yeah, Blue Juice- But mostly she's cast in like sex pot roles. Blue Juice surfing movie. And she isn't getting- Well, she's sex potting Phantom. She's sex potting Blue Juice. Which is a tough part of being like, even more and more now, like, you know,

[00:14:53] women's rights is like, when you actually think about it, right? If you're a beautiful actress in Hollywood, you will only get hot woman roles until like someone decides one day- Right, you have some breakout where it's quote unquote serious performance or whatever.

[00:15:08] And then the thing you have to like, but the thing about that is like usually it's like, think about Margot Robbie right now. She's playing like, what is it? Tell Your Heart. She has on like the fat suit and stuff. Like that makes it real.

[00:15:18] And like you telling me like a pretty woman can't go through like some real shit. Like she has to- I don't know. Well, I feel like you look at- The D-Glam is what you're talking about. But that's someone necessary. You look at someone like-

[00:15:29] I think Michelle Pfeiffer had a run in the 80s and 90s where she was one of the most beautiful women alive but played real human beings. Yeah, that's it. No one's ever gonna beat Michelle Pfeiffer. But you know what I'm saying? Like they didn't all glean her up.

[00:15:38] They didn't have to like D-Glam her to make her like a serious woman. It was just like here's a movie where she's playing a person and that person happens to be as attractive as Michelle Pfeiffer. And the thing about that is so interesting is like, that is 2017.

[00:15:50] And we're still talking about the same thing. And I know we're three dudes. It's true though, it's true. And so it's tough but it's like, yeah man, all my friends who are actresses and they're like, you know, I gotta do this role. And I'm looking at the role

[00:16:00] and it's like, oh, there's a sex scene in this? Why? Right. Why is there a sex scene in this movie? I also look at this movie. I mean, I think this is a relevant conversation because this movie I think is sort of victim to that

[00:16:11] where like Catherine Zia Jones is fresh off an Oscar and she gets to make like a Tom Hanks Steven Spielberg movie. Like, there's the brass ring. Like that's what you wanna win Oscar for. And her role is entirely just about who she dates. Absolutely. The whole thing.

[00:16:23] Her role and her performance is not good in my opinion but her role is the disaster at the center of this movie. She doesn't get anything to do because like she doesn't- I'm not saying it's all her fault. No, no, I just not need it

[00:16:34] because that character they were like, oh let's just have someone for him to like gawk at and like fall in love with kinder. Because their whole idea was like, I think like it's this terminal so it'll be this like organic world

[00:16:44] and there'll be all these little storylines we can do. And then their solution or like how it ended up is like we kind of did a quarter of each storyline. Like we gave like a little bit, you know we had like a dollar and we split it 10 ways.

[00:16:55] It's a very episodic movie. Yeah, but like, but none of the, you're not like, oh Diego Lunan's always so dumb and they figured it out. Those guys really have a connection. I got questions about that. Yeah, yeah, let's go up to that one. Okay, so here's her career.

[00:17:06] Cause I didn't even do her career yet. Right, she's doing UK films, UK films, UK films. Sure, sure. And then The Phantom, 96 small part, 98 she makes the mask, Xaro, huge, huge. Welsh actress playing Spanish maiden, but she's not, she's Welsh. She's from the country of Wales.

[00:17:23] Wait, wait, she knows she's gotta be from like, 100%, 100% Welsh. She's a Welsh lady and like if you hear her- I think it's Welsh and then her father's Irish. No, that's great. No other way around, father Welsh, mother Irish Catholic. Yeah, no guys.

[00:17:38] I always think that out some Spanish. She's from Mumbles, which is a town in Wales. Yes guys, there's a town in Wales called Mumbles. If you hear her talk, she has like a thick Welsh accent. I'd sand it down a little bit these days,

[00:17:50] but you know, she's got what the English- Wait, she's not Latina at all? No, that's crazy, right? Crazy huh? We're talking about Xaro, like Xaro, which takes place in, where she plays Elena Montero. She, wait, no. Yeah man! She's not Latina at all. Not one bit.

[00:18:05] Neither is Anthony Hopkins by the way. Right. I spent a lot of time- Also Welsh by the way, Anthony Hopkins. I spent a lot of time on the Xaro Wikipedia page last night, and they cast originally Sean Connery to play the Anthony Hopkins role. Makes sense.

[00:18:18] And then the producer, Steven Spielberg was one of the producers on the movie, that was an ambulance picture, announced they were like, okay, I know we cast The Scottish Man first, but I promise you every other actor in the film is gonna be Spanish. Right, right.

[00:18:28] And then it was like Banderas and then a Welsh woman. They ended up casting two Welsh people. Look, I mean, look, she's great in the movie. She's great! She's great in the movie. No one would have ever seen that movie and thought, like, oh, that's a white lady,

[00:18:40] you know, that's a Welsh lady. They think she's Spanish. Like, they think she's like Antonio Banderas. I thought that until right now. And here's a point I'd like to make about that performance. One of the rare instances where someone becomes a movie star from the trailer.

[00:18:53] Like, I feel like they have the moment in the trailer where they're fencing and then he does the scene in her dress and she goes like this. And that moment was like so iconic and everyone knew her name. Like before seeing the movie.

[00:19:03] They knew her name because they put her name in the trailer and it's a heck of a name. It's a heck of a name. Catherine Zeta-Jones is a good name. It's a heck of a name, it's got a heck of a face and that moment was funny.

[00:19:12] And they actually made her powerful, the fact that she was fencing with him and was not scared for sure. It's a great role. It's a great movie. But then her next movie is Entrapment. Like goes straight from Zorro to Entrapment. Right, which is just more of a like,

[00:19:25] yo, check out how hot kind of Tida Jones is. That's a movie where like the trailer, like everyone knew the fucking thing with her going under the lasers. She's above the title with Sean Connery. It was like, it took her two American movies

[00:19:37] and she was already like a name. That movie's a solid hit. Also right here she has The Haunting, which is a terrible movie. Right. But she isn't it. And that's a DreamWorks movie. Is that Haunting? Cause Spielberg apparently was the one who,

[00:19:50] he saw her in the Titanic mini series. He produced Zorro. Martin Campbell who directed Zorro was gonna cast one of the women from GoldenEye. I forget who, not Fonka Janssen. Isabella Scorpio. Yes, he was gonna cast her and then Spielberg was like, no, no, no, check out this,

[00:20:08] Catherine Tida Jones. So Spielberg was kind of the one pushing her. Castor and Zorro. Yeah. You know, he put her in the haunted. You need someone to have you back. I mean that's kinda how this world works. 100% someone, a big shot likes you.

[00:20:19] Not to say that she's not talented. Very talented. She's great in high fidelity the next year where she plays someone who's full of shit, which I think she's really good at. That was a great role. And then that year she also has traffic,

[00:20:30] which is the beginning of her like, oh, serious actress Catherine Tida Jones. That's crazy. Her third year of being an American star, she's doing high fidelity and traffic. In both films she's playing like good supporting roles. Yeah solid supporting roles. Oh, we all know Catherine Tida Jones

[00:20:44] now let her show us her range. Sure. And it was like her career was like a fucking rocket. Yeah. Like so fast before she got into like, I'm already redefining what the Catherine Tida Jones persona is. Then 01, America's sweetheart, whatever. Okay, yeah, whatever.

[00:20:59] Made some money, no one remembers that movie. 02 Chicago wins an Oscar. Wow, I mean that. Shows off she can sing and dance. Five years after her Zorro debut. I remember that movie. She wins the Oscar. She was pregnant, like you know,

[00:21:12] she was like a sweetheart when she won the Oscar. Everyone liked, you know, she was like so happy. And we take out the big rubber stamp and we go movie star. Here she is officially anointed movie star. 03, there's, well there's the Sinbad cartoon, but forgetting that.

[00:21:26] 03, Intolable Cruelty, which I think she's not bad in. I think she's very good. I'm a big fan of that movie. I don't think she's why it's good, but she's fine. Is that the George Clooney one too? Yeah, okay. The Cone Brothers movie, but it's a relative flop.

[00:21:39] This year she's got the Terminal in Ocean's 12. Neither of which pop. Now I remember that she publicly fires her agent before these two movies come out. Because she said that he didn't capitalize on her Oscar enough. He probably didn't. But it's like, what on the other hand,

[00:21:53] you're in a Spielberg movie and you're in an Ocean scene. Cone Brothers movie or another Sotoberg movie. The thing is all those things on paper seemed great. But none of them worked for her. Yeah, but the thing is like you,

[00:22:02] that's one of those things that actors like you don't know. You don't know. It's like, oh she's the first one was so big. No, I mean it all makes no one sense. No one knew the sequel was gonna be, but it was.

[00:22:10] Why don't we do a Spielberg movie obviously? Yeah. Oh five, she makes The Legend of Zara, which is a disaster. Right. The sequel to Zara. Which they should never have done. Never should have made it. She has nothing to do with it

[00:22:21] because she's just married with a kid. Like a human. A kid has more to do than she does. Yeah, that movie makes like every mistake a sequel could make. You know, it really does. Takes a break. In 07, no reservation comes out, no reservation.

[00:22:33] So I think it'd been filmed awhile back, the cooking movie with Aaron Eckhart. Oh yeah. But that's even, that's a fucking two year break. Yeah. Not on screens and that's her last like big studio above the time of the movie. There's also, let's not forget, Death Defying X.

[00:22:46] What is that? I repeat, that's her last big studio. It's the Harry Houdini movie. I gotta look at that one. Above the time of the movie. With Guy Pierce and then in early. They early was released here. Yeah. Zusha Ronan's first movie. In 09 there's that movie,

[00:22:56] The Rebound in which the plot is she fucks Justin Bartho. Yep. And then in 12. What? Yeah ma'am. I mean another one that. Another one that's Justin Bartho, but what movie is this? Well you know what that movie is. Go ahead. That movie is directed by Barth friendly. Yes.

[00:23:11] Who is Julianne Moore's husband. Is much younger than her. Was a director. So it's just him talking about his relationship with Julianne Moore. When he was in his 20s and he got to fuck and then eventually marry one of the most beautiful.

[00:23:23] You know, good for him glad he got to not only do that but then make a movie about it. Right, who needs to hear that story? Yeah. You want us to applaud you more? 2012 she's in Rock of Ages. You know, sort of a small role.

[00:23:35] I guess she's fine. I mean that movie is awful. But look at that gap of years where she's not really doing anything. I mean I'm forgetting like Laid the Favorite that barely came out. Broken City that was sort of forgotten. Where the fuck is this?

[00:23:47] Inside effects she's bad. I think she's good inside. No she's horrible. I've never seen side effects. Good movie but she's terrible. I dig it. Yeah. She's in Red 2? Yeah. I've seen one of her movies we skipped over. Playing for Keeps. Oh. Playing for Keeps with Jerell.

[00:24:02] Why have you seen that movie? Guys listen, this is the thing. That's not a real movie. I secretly, my movie. Jessica Biel. Dennis Quaid. My movie Love goes on random tandem so I was start off as an action hero, like action kind of guy

[00:24:14] and now I'm like big on happy romantic kind of movies and I'm like, you know what, need a little joy in life but then I watch some of these movies and I'm like, oh God, life is so sad. It's not joyful. The director of Pursuit of Happiness.

[00:24:29] Oh Gabriel, right. Muchino. That's the soccer movie? I don't think, yes. Yeah, Gerard Barlow plays a Scottish soccer player who's a has been. But that's her career. That's her career. This year she appeared in Dad's Army which will probably never come out here.

[00:24:44] There was a British homage to a sitcom and that's yeah, you know it's like. She's such a good actor. She's like where are these roles? She hits the stage so fast. So she won a Tony on stage in Little Night Music which she was got awful in.

[00:24:57] She gave one of the most hilariously bad performances I've ever seen in the Tony Awards and then won the Tony and everyone was like, what? You know like that one? That's the one where she goes, there ought to be clowns when she sings and in the clowns.

[00:25:12] You remember? No I don't remember that at all. I believe you. Yeah. She's due for a comeback. Yo she is and she's actually a good actress. Maybe she is. She can be a good actress. She can be a very good actress. But the thing about that is like

[00:25:24] we've all seen movies where like, that wasn't the best. I mean, I freaking love Meryl Streep and I love Dane de Lewis but what was that movie 13? When he was singing 9? 9? And I was like, you gave that four more numbers than it might be. I'm looking at 9.

[00:25:38] I give it about a 2. Yeah. And I'm like Dane de Lewis is the legend and it's like hey we all have a bad I think stretch. Everyone involved with 9 would probably be like you know what maybe if I could go back in time

[00:25:49] could take 9 off the old resume. Can we take a moment on that one? I just posted on Facebook the other day. I was like, hey everyone forgets that Dane de Lewis did a musical. He did a musical? He sang? It's really weird. He kinda danced?

[00:26:01] His voice is good. His voice is not bad at all. He doesn't fit that role well at all. Weird choice for the role although I could see where they're going. I mean the problem with that movie is the director

[00:26:09] not Dane de Lewis but the whole thing was odd. Yeah. But it did happen and it did get four Oscar nominations. Yes. It got four? Yeah including best supporting actress. Which everyone forget. So here are a few other interesting career things in this movie okay.

[00:26:22] Before we start talking about the plot. One is that this is one of the last like fully DreamWorks Spielberg production. Yes it is right after this he starts and we talk about world to world. They start becoming partnerships with other studios and then DreamWorks itself starts becoming

[00:26:35] a little shingle under others. Which we talk about. We'll talk about. But this is maybe the last full force DreamWorks fully financed Spielberg movie. The other thing is Tom Hanks was coming off of a run of like seven consecutive hundred million dollar plus grossers.

[00:26:51] You want me to run it down for you? Yes. Take out that thing you do. Which he directed but only had a small part in. I'm not gonna involve that one. If you take that out and go only starring roles I think the run becomes like 12.

[00:27:00] It's here's the run. Forest Gump 94, Paula 1395, Toy Story 95. Let's forget that thing you do. Same Preva Ryan 98. You've got Mail 98, Toy Story 299, The Green Mile 299, Castaway 2000, Road to Prediction just sneaks over 100. Just tiptoes to 100. 2002, Catch Me If You Can 2002. Now you're wrong because the lady killers

[00:27:21] comes out this year. I'm saying this year. I understand what you're saying. Wait, so those are 10? First off, yeah, that was 10. Yo, first off, those movies and they're all pretty famous movies. Movies, yes. How do you pick? Yeah. How do you know all paper? Hanks is good man.

[00:27:36] Cause some of those are weird choices. Castaway could have been up. Yo, Castaway could have bombed. That's very true. Like, I mean think about Castaway. Honestly, Catch Me If You Can if you think about it in retrospect, it's like, yeah we knew who Leonada Caprio was

[00:27:48] but Leonada Caprio wasn't the Leo that like. He was eating Gimbal Graves so he got that Oscar now but he wasn't like. That was coming off of the beach. Yeah, like everyone said he washed up. Yeah, like who? How do you pick that?

[00:28:02] And Hanks also taking a supporting role as like the fucking fun killer in that movie. We just talked about that. We just talked about it. Now I also wanna mention, if you go before Forrest Gump, Philadelphia doesn't make 100 mil but it wins an Oscar.

[00:28:13] I mean Philadelphia's freaking it. It wins an Oscar, does well and before that is sleepless in Seattle and before that is the League of their Own. So it's really, like from the whole 90s, he basically ran the table. How? Like how do you pick? That is great.

[00:28:26] And then 2004 it collapses. The record just like. The Lady Killers comes out and is a flat out bomb. I mean for Coen Brothers. The Coen Brothers. For a Coen Brothers movie. He has a Coen Brothers movie and a Spielberg movie and that's the year that ends the round.

[00:28:37] He is really good in The Lady Killers. He is. He is. It's a hot movie but it is an interesting movie. Well the movie is weird because like, you know, The Coen Brothers has his own way of life. The Coen Brothers made the House Black People.

[00:28:48] Oh, it's what I was about to say. It was the only movie they ever had Black People. With like multiple, I mean there are like Black People and Coen Brothers movies but it's the only one where I can think of like more than one. The only one.

[00:28:56] The only one that really, like me and John talk about this all the time. We always talk about, which is still one of my favorite movies. I'm like, whatever. Go with George Clooney and it is like, I'm not gonna. Subject entertainer is an intolerable cruelty. Is he?

[00:29:10] Nail your ass. Nail your ass. That's all he says is he's gonna nail your ass. He's funny. I mean nail your ass. He's really funny. I always think about, you think about Little Brother Where I'm Down. Little Brother Where I'm Down. And it's like,

[00:29:19] we're like oh they show like the chain gang and it's all people of color and then just the three white dudes and we're like, and they're the ones who escape and they don't even get shot. And then it wants to get out. That's where the camera stops. Right?

[00:29:31] And the camera stops, right? It does like moving past all. All the black people. There they go. But like when you watch Lady Killers it's like, it is a lot of things wrong. Marla Wayne's character is wrong. It's a disaster. It's just wrong.

[00:29:42] That's the biggest problem with that movie. It is wrong. Although Z-Mas character is a problem too. I mean that movie's weird. It's a weird movie. I think Irma P Hall is very funny. But it's tricky because it's like even now like there are roles that like

[00:29:55] I have said no to. That's what my friends have done and it's like who am I? You know what I'm saying? Like who am I? But it's like imagine being Marla Wayne it's here like Tom Hanks. Like I think it's one of those. It's the Coen Brothers.

[00:30:05] Coen Brothers. I think you question it. The Coen Brothers come to you and you're like wow these guys know what they're doing right. They'll make it work. Like maybe on the page it looks weird. If it seems offensive to me I must be misinterpreting it. Yeah.

[00:30:16] I trust these guys they've never gotten Marla Wayne's is a funny guy though. He's like he's given some great performances. He's giving some bad performances. Yeah. But it's like how do you say no to that? Like there's a bit that I say no to

[00:30:27] like now I kind of regret but I'm like I don't really because I'm like I won't play no thug anymore. Right. Right. Oh God. But yeah, good run. Damn. Really good run. But yeah this is the end of the run. I mean after this it's ups and downs.

[00:30:42] You know it makes these two movies. They both bomb then Polar Express comes out the end of that year which does weirdly well. Then he doesn't make a movie in 05 then he does Da Vinci Code 06 and from that point out the Tom Hanks run is like over.

[00:30:56] He stops being just like Tom Hanks all American hero. Now he becomes Tom Hanks in this character actor who also makes the Da Vinci Code movies or whatever you know like who will make some blockbusters but not too many. It's weird because Da Vinci Code

[00:31:08] the first one did well cause it was like the first one it was huge. Yeah. And then it was okay. Yeah I mean they do well cause they made what three or four of them now right? The third one was a huge disaster. Oh was it? Yeah.

[00:31:19] Cause I mean even was it Captain Phillips did well. He got an Oscar nomination for Captain Phillips. He didn't. He did. It was rude. Well he gotta go to, he got something didn't he gotta say? But he was good. He got you know some precursors.

[00:31:29] He got the precursors. All right we're getting off track. Oh you're right. You're right. You're gonna keep. Okay the terminal. So you wanted to note that it's the last Dreamworks movie was there anything else you wanted to note there? It's written by Jeff Nathanson

[00:31:42] who wrote Catch Me If You Can along with Sasha Gravesi and like a lot of the films that we've talked about in this May series Spielberg was like acquiring stories or source material or spec scripts for Dreamworks and then would just keep him around

[00:31:55] and be like do I want someone else to direct this? Do I want to direct this? Sure, sure. Right right. And at one point started batting around. There's a real story of a guy who was stuck in Charles DeGal and Camiri Nasseri.

[00:32:04] I believe he's still there to this day. No no. He finally got out in 07. In 07 right after the movie comes out. But Spielberg paid a quarter of a million dollars to buy his life rights. They are not mentioned in this movie. He's not mentioned in any way.

[00:32:17] They didn't mention him in the press. They didn't mention him in the fucking DVD special features. Any of that, but they bought the rights. Good. I guess he had $250,000 to spend in an airport. Yeah. Apparently he got sick. I read it for some reason

[00:32:29] I got so involved with this guy. He got sick and that was what got him out. He got sick so now he's like in a... A train station. Yeah, like he basically like near the airport still and like kind of described as like a holding kind of place

[00:32:41] and I'm like, just do this. Still doesn't have a home? It's a sad old jewelry store. It's a 1988? It's a sad situation. But yeah, they very loosely inspired by that. Sure. And they sort of take this a bunch of writers. Andrew Nicol who wrote The Truman Show.

[00:32:54] Sasha Gervaisi who later did Anvil, the documentary. I don't like Sasha Gervaisi. I don't either. But it was... I remember it was initially announced that Nicol was writing it. And I was like, oh Andrew Nicol. He likes to play around with like modern sort of dystopic ideas.

[00:33:07] Like oh a man trapped in an airport. Like you could do a lot with this. From the director of Gadica. It's like there's a lot of potential. There's some weird kind of like, what is the state? What is a country? Truman Show you get into this artificial life.

[00:33:21] This artificial civilization. Yes, exactly. But then I think where Spielberg and Nathanson people decide to go, there's like no we want to make this sort of like high concept comic sort of thing. Like almost like an old Chaplin movie or a Jacques Taty movie. Where it's like,

[00:33:38] it's sort of like very broad and very global. Like sort of like a global movie. Sure, the one I kept thinking of, I mean they say that the airport's directly modeled after the Jacques Taty movie and this first sense of the urgency and the hustle bustle.

[00:33:54] Playtime is also largely a silent film. So it's not really a good comparison. The airport set is modeled on airports. It looks like an airport. That's what it looks like. It looks like an ordinary airport with like a bookstone in it. But crazy stat.

[00:34:08] And a Dean DeLuca which would never be in an airport. It is a bit of an odd choice for an airport. Yeah. I read this crazy fucking thing where the entire terminal is a built set, which is insane. Right. The movie's budget was $60 million.

[00:34:22] They took an airport hanger and built a set in it. And that's like almost all of the budget. Cause I mean the rest is, it's pretty simple movie. I feel like they made back, I feel like the budget is lower than it is because of sponsorship. Of course.

[00:34:35] You see Starbucks and everything. Burger King. First off, before we get into this thing. Okay. My man goes to Burger King with 75 cents. Yeah. Bullshit. Gets a burger and a penny back. I was trying to remember this. Into no, but I'm interested in 2004. No.

[00:34:54] You don't think Burger King had like 74? No. Let me tell you how I know. Please tell me. Cause I was a Burger King or over at McDonald's. Okay. So I was like, if I was in high school cause I was at this point. I was fickle.

[00:35:04] I was fickle. I went between them. I wanted Wendy's. Okay. I was 129 for a burger. Okay. It's a champagne of fast food. McDonald's. The champagne was Wendy's. McDonald's, it was a straight buck. Right? It was 99 cents. 99 cents.

[00:35:16] Burger King was too, but he had to go down in prices. Burger King was a little bit over. Burger King was like 110. Yeah. Okay. So you're not even if you're not going with 75 cents and get a penny back. Nothing under a dollar.

[00:35:26] Look, I just got, look, in airports, taxes are weird. Maybe. I'm struggling again. Things cost more interest. Yes. Like everything costs way more than a hundred. Why not just have him give them four quarters? Just give them four quarters. It would make more sense anyway.

[00:35:40] Why give the penny back? People buy the movie and then a burger would cost 70, it would cost 99 cents. They don't buy there to cost 74. My man went there with like $5 worth of quarters and got a tray full of food. It's like six whoppers. What is this?

[00:35:55] And a salad. You can't get that now and they now got discounts. Nonsense. Don't do that to me. All right. Well, that sort of gets to this point, which is, feel like really wanting to make a fantastical movie that had no grounding.

[00:36:07] When did the last time Spielberg bought a burger? That's Burger King. That's the real question. You know, he's like George HW Bush, like not knowing how much milk costs when he's not running for president. I'm like, what's a burger? 70 cents? This movie was real.

[00:36:19] Okay, they would have had him get a Hershey Sunday pie from Burger King. Not trying to do a promo, but that damn pie is so good. Okay, if you got an extra dollar, you're getting the pie. That's what you're getting. You're getting the pie.

[00:36:29] Especially if you haven't eaten for that long. Exactly. You want to treat yourself, you're getting the pie. You're getting that pie. You're getting the pie. I'm back on, I'm back on the back on page. Yeah, I feel like he wanted to make a Lubitsch movie.

[00:36:38] Like his idea was like, how do I make this light touch film that exists on an emotional level? You don't have to really deal with the reality of how the situation would work. But Spielberg, even when he tries to make something

[00:36:49] with a light touch, the touch is a little heavy. Like he's such a stylist and he's got all these weird obsessions, like funnel into a moment and burrow into it that isn't just like, oh, this is the moment where this comedy gets a little serious.

[00:37:02] It's like, this is a moment where I have to think about the reality way too much. Yeah. Dude, this movie is, it's like a lot of interesting ideas and none of them are executed right in my opinion. But it's neither fish nor foul because you go like,

[00:37:13] there's a version of this movie that's less intelligent that works better because it's just Oh, a high wacky comedy. Yes. And there's a version of this movie that's actually trying to explain what it's like to be this guy in this situation. And not that it couldn't be funny,

[00:37:26] but like really make it work. And this isn't that either. It's tricky because again, like I picked this movie because I liked it. It's tricky because like I like certain things about it. But I totally agree there's a lot happening

[00:37:37] and I felt like maybe, I feel like sometimes like you ever meet somebody who's like too smart is like their brain is going so fast. Of course. Yeah. So they're saying too many things to you once or they're going into too many tangents.

[00:37:49] You're saying all the right stuff, all the right stuff but you're not saying the one cohesive thing. And I feel like for instance, there was a good story like Victor's story was great. Even Stanley Tucci's character, at the end of the day was a guy

[00:38:04] who was just trying to do his job. One of my big problem with the movie is his Stanley Tucci's character. Cause he again, he's 80% of the way to being the right character. 80% of the time. And then they decide he's a villain. No, he's a villain.

[00:38:16] He has no reason to hate Tom Hanks and he suddenly decides to hate him. But it falls into this picolain thing where it's like you could make the movie where you aren't a humanist about it and the guy's just a clear cut villain from the beginning.

[00:38:28] Yeah, sure he just represents like the state. Yeah. Right, he's principal Rooney and fucking Ferris wheel. It's just red tape. Yeah, right. Or you make the version of the movie where it's like this is a guy who's hands are tied

[00:38:37] and he's struggling with this as much as Tom Hanks. And instead they go back and forth and you talking about like dudes who are too smart. That's how I feel about this movie where it's like sometimes Spielberg is fully thinking something through at the top of his intelligence.

[00:38:49] And certain things in this movie feel like Spielberg shrugging going like, I don't know, I thought it was cute. Yeah. And it's like, but you can't play dumb Spielberg. Like... Right, but he kind of is. Yeah, but we know you're able to think these things through.

[00:39:00] But let me take you through Tucci's arc. Please. All right, so he's in charge of the airport, but he has his boss who plays him again. Jude Chickachella? No, no, Jude Chickachella is the contractor. Oh, right, yes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Eddie Jones, Eddie Jones, right.

[00:39:15] Who was on Lawson Clark. Congratulations. To him? Yeah, sure. That's a good gift for him. He was Pocken. Pocken. And so I guess, his boss is retiring so he kind of wants his boss's job. So I guess the motivation initially is like he wants to tow the line.

[00:39:31] He wants to do a good job. He keeps his guy in the airport. He publicly humiliates him and is chided for it by his boss who says like, you know, come on man, like this is a real job. And yeah, you got, you know,

[00:39:44] the rules are not just the rules. In response to this, he decides to like enforce the rules more like effective, like, you know, be harsher. Because Tucci goes like sometimes, you know, I'm just trapped all the rules and the boss is like...

[00:39:57] The boss literally says like, it's okay. Like you can bend the rule. He's like, the job's about people. You get it? You can learn something from him. Who seems to venerate this man, ignores his boss, his meaner to Hanks gets the job

[00:40:10] and then decides to be even meaner to Hanks. It doesn't make any fucking sense. You expect the scene after the boss to be... He's a petty man. Like I mean, you know. You expect the scene after the boss to be him apologized.

[00:40:20] And instead it's him going to him and going like, you fucked me over. So now we're both stuck and held together. I won't make it my life. You're never escaping. Which makes no sense. You won't even know. But also it's like, how did he fuck him over? Like...

[00:40:33] I mean, what exactly did he do? You know what I'm saying? Like he's just trying to get out. Because the mere fact that's so creepy when you think about this in retrospect is like, everyone's watching Victor on his security cams to watch the whole...

[00:40:45] They become like fascinated with his... Like his behavior and life. And my thing is if you... Look, you're now the power of the airport. And if you say this guy can go, he can go, right? You want this guy to go, you can easily escort him out

[00:40:59] and never have to think about it again. Right, 100%. You chap him in a room that has nothing but like, was it cots in a toilet? Pretty much. For no reason... You basically put him in jail. For no apparent reason. Right. And I'm like, yeah, they just decided like,

[00:41:11] oh man, we don't have a conflict. Let's add one. That's exactly it. Let's add one. And like, yes, yes. That is the problem with this movie because... They want some reason for him to not leave. Like they decided like it makes no sense that Hanks wouldn't just leave.

[00:41:24] Right. So they need, but like, they did it wrong. They came up with the wrong reasons. Well, the way they do it is like, oh, he's not good at picking up on subtlety. Tucci's trying to give him out and he doesn't do it. No, no, no, no, no.

[00:41:33] But no, but then Hanks resists. Then Victor goes, he says, I'm staying. I'm staying. I want to do it legally. Because he gets that, yeah, if he leaves, then he's in the hands of immigration or whatever. Like his life could be worse.

[00:41:44] Look, I would say I cannot think of a modern actor who was better at playing frustration than Stanley Tucci. Stanley Tucci is great in the movie. He is. Stanley Tucci is a great actor. He's doing a great job with a crappy character.

[00:41:56] As written, this is like such a good Stanley Tucci character. But this should not have been a Stanley Tucci character. I think if the whole point of the movie is that there are governments, you know, worldwide global machinations at play

[00:42:07] that are bigger than anyone in this movie, right? Way above the pay grade of the highest ranking character we see in this movie. Why not make the movie like a fucking Tom Hanks, Mark Rylan's Bridge of Spies type relationship where it's like the Tucci character

[00:42:22] is a guy who's trying to find a way to get him out and his hands are tied. Not that he's the antagonist, but that it's like he's trying to find a loophole and they're working together. Can I throw a, can I toss out a...

[00:42:33] And I love Stanley Tucci, one of my favorite actors. He's great. I feel like Catherine Sader Jones could have had that part. Not a bad idea. Little more aggressive. I feel like if Catherine Sader Jones would have had that part, anything is, now you take out,

[00:42:46] and I don't think this movie, now I'm thinking about it, is actually a rom-com. So I think like they didn't need him to have a love story period. No. So let's get that shit out of here. Get that out of here.

[00:42:55] You know what you maybe replace the love story with? Little more talk about jazz before the last 15 minutes. Where his life's mission is revealed. Yeah, I know. I swear to God, just layer that in. And they treat it like it's going to be such a drop

[00:43:09] that like the planner's can is like Rosebud and the whole movie you're going like... Yeah, they keep going, what's in the can? And he's like, oh, you know, it's Art Kane's famous photo of Harlem Jazz musicians from the 50s. Yeah, and that's also pretty sweaty to go like,

[00:43:22] my dad saw this photo and liked the photo so much that he wanted all the autographs. Not my dad listened to this record and liked the musicians so much. Why do you have him overhearing jazz in the airport and maybe being like suddenly displaying some kind of like

[00:43:35] awareness or expertise about it? When he does construction, he's always listening to jazz. That's true. That's true. He's always listening to jazz. It's never addressed. It's never addressed. Until the end. And I didn't think about it until now, you're bringing it up because I was like,

[00:43:47] why is always jazz when he's doing what? Where's, and the thing is it was one part because I couldn't notice the headphones. I'm like, does he have a boom box we don't know about? Or is this playing in the airport? How does he build that fucking fountain also?

[00:44:00] It's a mosaic. He builds like a subway. No clue. Wall. Wait at the piece. Yo, listen, I like it. I don't have answers for you guys. Let's go to the beginning of this movie. Okay. Beginning of the movie. Opening is kind of well done. Nice. Yeah.

[00:44:14] There's a lot of hubbub. I mean, it's Spielberg doing a really good job. Let me tell you my favorite things about the movie. Opening minute, closing credits. Love those credits. Credits and credits are great. With autographs? The thing is like when the airport, when it's like delayed arriving,

[00:44:27] I haven't seen an old school like in an airport. I've seen them at train stations and I'm like, first off, this New York city. We all had this shit. They don't have it. We go digital, baby. It's true. We go digital before anyone else. Yeah, we go digital.

[00:44:40] I'm gonna let that slide, but I'm like, I get what they were going for. He wanted the romantic. It's the Spielberg touch. Yeah. The whimsy of the clapping. Victor Navorsky arrives in JFK. Passport gets declined. Kokojiya. He's from Kokojiya. He's taken to an office by Stanley Tucci

[00:44:57] and Barry Shabaka Henley. But even the very opening of this, I like with like the there's quick cut and cross action between like Hanks waiting to get, you know, stamped and Tucci on the monitors looking for problems. And he goes, oh, look at that group.

[00:45:10] They're all wearing the Disney shirts. When's the last time you saw a group, an Asian group without a camera? And it's like, oh. Yeah. Racial profile. Oh yeah, that's true. I forgot about that. Because like Tucci is like showing off what an expert he is.

[00:45:22] And he's like, bunch of Chinese with no camera. What are you fucking kidding me? Someone will go down there. Someone let me go down there. And then so right they're running around. There's like a sort of chase happening in the back. It's like Hanks and shallow focus

[00:45:34] trying to answer these questions from like the guard, the security officer, whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. And in the background, you just see all this hullabaloo of the arrest happening, which is like kind of- He's playing by, what's his name? Corey Reynolds, right? Like the discurri.

[00:45:46] It's because he comes back, Corey Reynolds. He was seaweed in the original production of Harrisburg. Oh. Fair enough. Which I believe I saw twice on Broadway. So I was- I thought I knew a lot of movie and TV facts. He said he was in like Stratocompton.

[00:45:58] He was in Red Tail. He's like the round, I know that guy. Yeah. He's not like a, yeah, I remember that he was in- Yeah. He was in Red Tails with, why I'm forgetting his name now, Elijah Kelly, who was the movie version. Who's fucking great. That's it.

[00:46:10] Yeah. Yeah. All three guys who played seaweed in big production. Mm-hmm. Enormal. Mm-hmm. Anyway, he gets called in to Tucci's office. And this is like minute five. Like the movie is moving fast. Tucci is trying to explain it to him.

[00:46:25] Tom Hanks is doing the kind of like, yes, yes, but like doesn't seem to know what's going on. Listen, I would say when I was in Paris, I couldn't understand French. And like that- It's hard. Was legit what I was going through.

[00:46:32] I was like, I don't know what's ha- Like what are you saying? And it's just, I could feel for him at this point guys. I once triggered an international incident in Paris because I, it doesn't matter anyway. Wait, no, wait, no.

[00:46:44] I didn't have a stamp in my passport. Because I have a British passport and an American passport. Oh, wow. And I was leaving. I had flown into Britain on, you know, and then taken the train from Britain to Paris. And I was leaving Paris with my American passport.

[00:46:58] They opened my passport. They don't see a stamp, you know, for getting into France. And like they immediately, they mean they were about to arrest me. Like they lost their minds. They couldn't believe it. And I had, and they were yelling at me in French.

[00:47:09] You thought they were going to take your planner's hand? How'd you get out of it? I produced my British passport and they were like, don't do that again. Wasn't that interesting a story? I think it was like some Batman type shit.

[00:47:20] It was like I had to go, had to call somebody, they had to come down. Yeah, I was sky lifted out of there. This is my first question for you guys. Don't you think Stanley Drew's a little rude, summing up the civil war of his home country

[00:47:34] but with an apple smashing a bag of potato chips? So does he's over him too. The monologue that I delivered. Yeah, and also ruining a bag of potato chips. Didn't he want to eat those? Rude a bag of potato chips. So disrespectful. He gets the chips on Victor.

[00:47:47] Yes. Rude, so disrespectful. Have them go just sort of in another direction. Yeah. And it also, that didn't help. It didn't clarify. Doesn't help at all. He's like, Kerkosha. Bam. Like he doesn't get it. So disrespectful. Yeah. What's happening in Kerkosha? They're bursting everyone's potato chip bags.

[00:48:02] What's going on? Also you don't have like someone who can speak. There's no translator's act as airport. Isn't it a civil war? What's the apple? It's more that the bag of potato chips is consuming itself. Right. Right. It's like exploding from the inside. There's no apple.

[00:48:17] Right, that's not a good depiction of a political coup. You know, like a takeover. Yeah, anyway. But here's my question for you guys. And it's like I don't know how you do this properly. It's a really fine line to walk.

[00:48:31] But especially in the first 30 minutes of this movie, I feel like Hanks comes off very dumb. Yeah. Yes. And part of it, yes. He's playing more of a chaplain-esque character, which is, yeah, just the dumb foreigner. And now a lot of us, yes. Kirkosha, Big Apple.

[00:48:45] Any movie where you've written that one character doesn't speak the language that every other character's speaking and you have like the lack of communication, the loss in translation element, of course it's going to be like the obliviousness and whatever.

[00:48:56] But I feel like every time they say something to him, he misinterprets it with a smile and then like repeats a bunch of shit. Right. Which makes him seem like a little slow. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Makes him seem slow. They're very serious.

[00:49:06] He's being taken into an office by a cop. Yeah. He's talking to a like, you'd think he might know like, oh, this isn't routine. Like this isn't usually happening when you arrive in America. Like he can't pick up on physical cues at all.

[00:49:18] It's the one thing that he's like not understanding the language they're speaking. Here's my other question. Yeah. Where is the Kirkosha translator? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. There should have been someone who could use... This is my thing.

[00:49:27] And that, I did not like the first half of this movie. The government, if you don't have, yeah, if you don't have someone in there, you can call a number and get someone on the phone who speaks it. Like America does employee translator. Yes. Very easy job.

[00:49:38] A very easy job. But I think it's interesting is like, I think again, hate to rewrite the movie, but it would have been better served if he could understand some language. Yeah, right from the start. From the very start. Especially as we need to buy the...

[00:49:48] He knows the weird thing where it's like, he can't leave, but he has to stay in the airport lounge. Like it's a hard thing to sell. And it also means that later in the movie when he picks up a people magazine that is in both Caucasian and English

[00:50:01] that he's able to learn the entire language quickly. Yeah. It's like if he already was kind of half the way there, him becoming more fluent would be a lot easier to digest than him going from knowing five words to knowing like the entire cast of Friends.

[00:50:14] And the weight would have been... Like this is my thing. One of the... I had a problem with this movie up until his first night when he slept. Like... Because up until that point when he finally sees a TV, right?

[00:50:24] And all of a sudden he has this big emotional moment of like, oh shit, Caucasia is like... Or like so many emotions. And I'm like, that almost felt unjustified because of the fact that like we heard everyone trying to tell him this. Yes.

[00:50:39] And in fact, when he sees this on TV and now he's running around trying to find TVs to do this, imagine how popular would have been if he would have known but when he left that office that my sisters might throw it like... Right, right.

[00:50:51] Like then if you would have sold on TV you wouldn't have to have him run around. It'd have been a moment of looking up, sitting down, sadness. It would have been like, it would have been a weight that... Yeah.

[00:51:00] I mean, I think Hanks does a good job with... The moment was a great... You know, the emotion, you know... He's a good actor. I'll say that. I think Tom Hanks is a good actor. Tom Hanks is pretty good. Yeah. And then...

[00:51:10] Tom Hanks is like in my top four. Yeah, he's really fucking solid. Yeah. And then yeah, he decides to stay there. He goes to like a gate that's not yet built. Right. He pushes some chairs together. Unscrews them from the ground. True.

[00:51:24] He pushes them together and make his own little bed. Yeah. He also got through customs now. And this is a post-911 movie. Let's quickly... Yeah, he got through customs of fucking Swiss army. Like, and I'm like, Bruh, you're not getting that through security?

[00:51:38] I tried to take a razor, like just a simple razor I use on my face. That's a good point. To check on. And they literally went in my bag, pulled it out, and was like, you need to throw this away. Why do you have to...

[00:51:46] Oh, like they undid my razor. It was like, I wanted to shave when I went there. Easy to answer that question. What do you plan to do with this? Shave my face. Choose for shaving faces. Yeah. You can take it though. I get it. I get it.

[00:52:00] My man had a freaking... Yeah, it's insane. So now, yeah, he's set up in this situation. They're giving him meal vouchers. They're like, this will hopefully blow over soon. But then it becomes clear, like 15 minutes... What they think is going to happen is,

[00:52:15] within a day, immigration will sort this out or whatever. He'll get a visa. Like, they just, they don't think it's going to be long term. When Tucci just doesn't want this to be his problem. So he thinks once it starts becoming clear

[00:52:26] that it's not going to resolve quickly, he thinks either he's going to try to leave and get arrested, at which point he's not my problem, or he'll succeed, at which point he's not my problem. And this guy is so noble, wants to do things the right way.

[00:52:40] Maybe at the application? My problem with the movie is it doesn't accurately communicate if he's just being a stand-up guy or if he's smart enough to know... Last month. His problem would be worse if he just was delivered into the hands of the INS.

[00:52:52] The third flavor is sometimes I think they play it like he's just oblivious. Yes. They alternate between them. But then he has the early in the moment where he holds his passport up to or whatever his... Is the documents up to? I wait. I wait. I wait. Also...

[00:53:05] Security camera. Does he ever use these meal vouchers? Like we never... Don't puke so. He has the meal vouchers and I see him doing like bread, like cracker sandwiches. Right. He does his gross, saltine sandwich. Which he never eats. Catch them in the mustard.

[00:53:17] They don't make it knock down. They always get knocked down at no time. Thank God. Tell me a thing about to eat that. They always cut away when it's about to go into his mouth. I picked up on this because I remember at the first time not understanding

[00:53:26] what happened to the meal vouchers. The moment is really poorly covered. It's a weird case where like Spielberg didn't visually explain something well enough. When he goes, there's the girl next to him who is Steven Spielberg's real life daughter, Sasha Spielberg.

[00:53:41] Playing the girl who's struggling to get her suit his clothes. Right. And at that moment... Oh yeah. There's the pile of meal vouchers next to him. You see a close-up of him counting the meal vouchers. They go into the garbage. Right. Then he goes to break her suitcase.

[00:53:54] He goes to try to fit it in, ends up breaking it. And in the process, the meal vouchers fly away. That's why he wants to reach into Bogota's garbage. Oh. That's why he keeps trying to go in the trash. But the thing they don't give you weirdly

[00:54:06] is the shot of the meal vouchers going into the garbage. Which is such a basic Spielberg thing to do if he's so good at covering an object so you understand where it is. It's true. No, you're right. He does do a good job.

[00:54:16] And it's like you see the meal vouchers... Especially, and you're telling me you're making a Jacques Tati homage. Wow, I forgot that. Like that is all about those little moments building up and this sort of like elaborateness you can get from a simple comedy,

[00:54:28] like, you know, misplaced thing or someone. Right. Yeah. That's why I don't buy the whole like, oh it's a play time for the 21st century. This is essentially like you see the meal vouchers, then you see him go to try to fix the woman's suitcase.

[00:54:39] The thing kind of flies away, but like in the corner of the frame so you don't really see it. And then the next thing you see is Bogota. I'm going to call them Bogota. In honor of how you were... Don't call them Bogota. ...for that.

[00:54:48] I like, I do. I like, I do. I like, I do. I like, I do. Bogota, Bogota. Listen man, that's how people know them. They had no one by that? Listen, I agree. Kumar Pallana. Kumar Pallana, aka Bogota. You just see him sweeping up garbage

[00:55:01] and included in that garbage pile is the meal vouchers but you don't really see that clearly. And then the next thing you see is Hanks reaching into the garbage which at this point he's done enough weird shit that you're like, I don't know maybe he likes garbage.

[00:55:10] Like it doesn't read as the meal voucher. That's why I don't know. I want you guys to tell me how old do you think Kumar Pallana is when he makes this move? In this move? Well he died about four years ago, right? He died in a 13. 13. Okay, always. 67.

[00:55:23] What do you got? I think he's 75. 85 years old. He looks great. This is 85 in this movie? He died, he was 94. Gee. Wow. That's pretty crazy. Yeah. Wow. So that's... It's crazy. Good genes. He's a good looking guy. He has some good lotion man. You got the lotion on.

[00:55:38] Yeah, it's a good lotion. So I'll just say I'll use this opportunity now to explain that Hanks, Victor meets a bunch of different people in the airport and I'm just gonna run him down. I'll just run him down for you guys. He got Kumar Palana as Gupta,

[00:55:50] who's an Indian immigrant or refugee, almost like he fled from India. He murdered a cop by accident. No, tried to kill him. I'm sorry. He stabbed a cop. Which by the way they glazed it quickly over. I mean corrupt cop but nonetheless. Attempted murder. Yeah.

[00:56:04] Ran away from his wife and child and has been living a family. He's a janitor in the airport. They didn't even say he sent them money. Like does he even talk to the family? They don't really talk about it. You've got Diego Luna as Enrique,

[00:56:15] who is a food service worker. Is a real creep in the fuck boy. Yo, little bit. I have a lot of problems with this. We're gonna talk about it. This is the worst part of the movie. His character is so weird. Is it Chee McBride or Chai McBride?

[00:56:27] I believe it's Chai McBride. Chai McBride as Joe, who's like a baggage handler. I had to call him to principle from Boston Public. I believe shout out in a future episode. No maybe we were just talking about it. See I like to call him the chief

[00:56:40] from undercover brother. That's my favorite Chai McBride. Oh yeah. Chai McBride. With the Pepto Bismole. Remember he was pushing Daisy's. He's so good. They give him no character. He doesn't get a lot to do. And also he's fourth build. Is he? Yeah, he was just crazy.

[00:56:53] He was hot at this moment. Zoe Saldana is Dolores. I love Zoe Saldana. Immigration problems with her in this movie too. Me too. But she's the stamp lady. She's pretty cute. And she is. But the way they do her, man we treat women bad. Yes we do.

[00:57:05] Yes we do. They're only two female characters in this movie and both of them are treated really poorly. This movie isn't, yeah. That's his biggest problem. What were you gonna say about Zoe Saldana though? She likes Star Trek or?

[00:57:14] Yeah, oh it's cute now because we know she's a her. That's the big thing. I feel like that's the most lasting legacy to this movie is. Oh do you know there was a movie where Zoe Saldana plays a Trekkie before? Oh yeah, it's true.

[00:57:26] That's like the big thing. And that's basically yeah, Jude Ciccoccialla, Cicco Lela sorry as the contractor who Victor mentioned works for. But yeah, that's basically the cast. It's a colorful cast. A lot of people call her. Very diverse cast. More diverse than most Spielberg movies

[00:57:41] that aren't specifically a pout. Lee seems to understand that yeah, you're meeting a bunch of people working at airports. Not gonna be a bunch of white people probably. You know it's gonna be a more mixed cast. I mean okay.

[00:57:52] This doesn't get any of them a ton to do but you know. This might be his most average. I'm thinking about it right now. I mean forgetting movies like Amistad and Colmastat. Oh he did? He directs Amistad? Oh yes. We had to do a whole episode about it.

[00:58:04] I know Colmastat was pretty much about how he shouldn't have directed that movie. I mean he did Colmastat and that was like a whole thing. Which I like. When he did Colmastat it was a whole thing. He takes a while and then he's like I'm gonna make Amistad.

[00:58:16] I didn't learn any lessons from Colmastat. Yeah and not to harp on this point but Amistad was his first Dreamworks movie. He ran a studio. He literally could have hired anyone to direct it. Like it's not an argument of like well if I don't direct it

[00:58:27] it's not gonna get made. It's like dude you can hire Spike and get the movie. You can green light it tomorrow. You have green light power. People got mad at me on our podcast because we reviewed Selma and we were talking about Eva Devonay. Sure.

[00:58:37] And that what I didn't know is that and so we did it was that she had to write Martin Luther King's speeches because Steven Spielberg had them. But apparently she went to him to get the rights at least for like one or two speeches

[00:58:50] to like using this movie. Because his King movie is not on his slate yet. That's never gonna get fucked. Never. Never. Selma. Maybe before Selma but not after that. It's on a huge pile of like maybe's. Yeah right. And I remember I got very upset

[00:59:03] at the fact that he owned them and wouldn't give it to like this black female director to make this movie. Yeah that sucks. And I was like this is terrible. And I'm like I understand you want to do Amistad. I understand you want to do Color Purple

[00:59:14] but like bro there's certain ways to do things man. Yes and not to not to rehab this point. But the difference is Color Purple it feels like he really does want to make that movie. Amistad it feels like a vacation

[00:59:27] where he's like oh why not try something like this. Sure maybe. Maybe this will be good. There's not the same sense of passion behind Amistad. No Color Purple as he reads a book and it's like I love this book. I like passionate about this.

[00:59:37] I have the cloud to get it made. I'll spend my cash. Someone else could have made the Color Purple. Someone else could have made the Color Purple. Yeah I mean this is a good thing. Nebubepak was a huge hit. But it's so tricky because like I don't

[00:59:45] like I never want to be in a position to say like certain directors can't direct certain things. So I'm like if there's a movie for instance about about like a coming of age story about a young girl and things you have to deal with

[00:59:55] I don't know that life. Right. I can read about it. I can study about it. I can ask my family members and friends but I don't know it. So if there's a woman director who knows it and feels passionate I'm like you know you know little things

[01:00:07] that I will never understand. Do it. But on the other hand like if you're making if there's a script about a young girl but there is something within the source material or the story itself that really relates to you that you're personally passionate about

[01:00:21] I feel like you could direct a movie even if the character is different than you. I agree. Because the story speaks to you. We watch Amistad and it's just like oh yeah this is important it should be made. It doesn't feel like he has any personal investment.

[01:00:33] I think everything you guys are saying is correct. And we also all said it. We did this. All right. All right. But still it's important to get that on the record. The Tri-Macbroad character is weird to me because later in the film when we

[01:00:45] Stanley Tucci is trying to like trap Tom Hanks. Which is unnecessary. Right. Bad scene. Yep. We'll get to that scene in more depth but he's explaining like if you leave I'm gonna arrest your three friends. Here are the restable offenses. One is Pagoda tried to kill a guy.

[01:01:02] And it's like great. You know that's real. That's real. I get that. That's real. And it's been established within the body of the movie. Yep. The second one is Hey, Diego Luna keeps on letting people into the food kitchen. It's just you. It's a fireable offense maybe.

[01:01:12] Nothing more than that. But whatever. You're not going to deport him. They present as more of a sanitary issue. Yeah. I don't know about that. Whatever. Whatever. Right. But at least that's been established in the movie. I know what you're getting to here.

[01:01:21] And then they go Tri-Macbroad and you go like Wait a second. What could he throw at Tri-Macbroad? Tri-Macbroad hasn't done anything in this movie other than just go like, Hey Victor. You know like he has had no plot line. He's had like no arc. He's had no details.

[01:01:31] He's just the fourth guy in the scene and they go, Oh he's smoking weed a lot. He runs that poker game you've seen. That illegal poker game. But I want to point out, They don't play for money in the poker game. It's literally not an illegal poker game.

[01:01:42] Yes. They don't play for money. And make sure you know that. Yeah. They say it. They say we don't play for money. Right. So then they have to go like, Oh he's drinking and smoking. Yeah. There's like marijuana there. Come on. Like don't do this.

[01:01:52] We haven't seen him smoke anything this whole No. That shit's not going to stand up. Movie does him dirty. Does him dirty. Okay. I mean, I mean, can we go to Diego Luna's character now? Or not yet. Absolutely. Because at this point the movie is basically,

[01:02:05] like we said episodic and it's kind of just Victor bouncing around these different characters and sort of participating in their little stories. Right. And of course then happens you to Jones is showing up every once in a while and they have this sort of ongoing quasi flirtation

[01:02:19] which is essentially the story is like, she's sleeping like, she's a stewardess. Don't stewardess is always just sort of like, you know, They basically say they just have a bunch of sets. Yeah. It's like, sleep with men at different ports of call. But also no self-respect.

[01:02:32] Like that's the big thing. No self-respect. She's defined by the fact that she keeps on getting into bad relations. She's defined by the big twist where it turns out she's old. She's in her late 30s guys. Which is insane. It's a weird moment.

[01:02:44] You're telling me like her whole, first off her storyline legit. Garbage. Her storyline legit is she's sleeping with Michael Noory. But the whole thing is she's like, I haven't even asked him. I haven't even asked him. Sleeping with the married man. She does,

[01:02:57] She encourages the married man to get back with his wife. Still ready for them. I'm a little bit of counseling. What kind of lunatic am I? I'll prove for the whole team. And like, she's 39, but she lies that she's 33, but the men she has sex with thinks she's 27.

[01:03:10] Then she keeps asking out Victor. Right. Because she just has to be with somebody. Because he's nice to her and then she'll be like, Shit, shit, what's wrong with me? Why am I even asking you out? Because she's like the only man that A hasn't lied to her

[01:03:24] and B doesn't immediately hit on her. Because he mostly just listens and doesn't say much. And he doesn't grab her ass. Because everyone, when she's on flights people just grab her ass. She's always getting gross. Which is the thing that may happen. But my thing is like,

[01:03:33] you're telling me you have this female character, right? This woman. This woman. An actress who just won an Oscar. And the thing is, even if she made this before she won it, no, no. You knew she did Chicago. Big actress above the title. Like, you know,

[01:03:45] it's Tom Hanks and Catherine Zeta-Jones are on the title. Yeah. And you're telling me that you cannot think to write a character that has more depth than what this portrays. It's the same. Because my thing is like, Steve, you have kids.

[01:03:57] Would you want your daughter to see this character and be like, that's that? This is a woman I want to be when I grow up. It's like, they can't get for anything. You know who's the third biggest female character in this film? Steven Spielberg's daughter

[01:04:09] as the woman who can't close her suitcase. Just going like, oh my god, dad! That guy just broke my suitcase. I can see when you're writing a script of a movie set in an airport, you're like, who should the love interest be? I know, a stewardess obviously.

[01:04:21] Because they're in and out of the airport. That'll be fun. It can be like, every 20 minutes, like you said. Which I like that idea. It could be an idea. Then they're like, huh, and also it's 1962. A stewardess is just sleep with married men. Right?

[01:04:34] Like, that's where they then fall off a cliff. Right. And then the extrapolation they make from that is, okay, so if she's with married men all the time, she must hate herself. And that's the defining point of her personality is that she hates herself

[01:04:49] because she fucks too many men. It is all about relationships. I'm like, and that's the thing, but it's like, because she, first of all, did this movie pass the Becville test? It's impossible. How could it? Yeah, I mean, it's an airport in Joey's,

[01:04:59] South Dan, don't talk to each other. I mean, it should. It's an airport full of people. Yeah. There's like, Yes. I mean, there cannot be a moment where two women talk to each other in this movie. Let alone talk to each other about that.

[01:05:09] Not even talk about anyone other than him, but like... Okay. All right, but so then following on this theme, let's talk about Diego Lunas' story. Yeah, I was going to say, rather than go chronologically because this is so episodic, let's focus on each one. So that's CZJ's story.

[01:05:23] And then of course it ends with them going on a date. That is fine, I guess. But then she's like, you know what? I'm fucked up. You know, you don't want to be near me. Which is it? Which is... What happened? Like first off, what...

[01:05:35] I understand having commitment issues. I totally get it. I totally get it. I got him. Okay. I got him. I get it. All green lights. But she's telling me after this whole thing, he builds her this, this, this...

[01:05:47] Yeah, he makes this like crazy sort of fountain for her. And also Kota does the dish spinning. There's some like... Yeah, yeah. There's them fake flirtation they have where they both like history, but only she does. Exactly. So you make it like she's actually pursuing him almost. Right?

[01:06:02] So it's the whole thing. She's coming back, she remembers him. She talks to him about history. And all of a sudden, once she does something nice for him, it's like I had to go to the dude to get this, I'm a horrible person. I told you.

[01:06:12] I told you not to fall in love with a woman. Stay away from me. The last shot is her with Michael Noory and you see him putting his hand on her back. She says... She sees him in it when he leaves. When he's leaving to have a moment.

[01:06:23] But then like that moment is just like she looks at him. Yeah. Like you made her into... You almost made her into a villain for no reason. She also says stay away from me. I'm sick. Stay away from me, I'm sick. Right. Like she's a fucking werewolf.

[01:06:35] And she's like, you can't love me. I'm going to turn into a wolf and bite you in the throat. That's like why? Just because like she has everybody got the least self-respect I've ever seen. And it's like... In a character. And then even when Staley Tucci

[01:06:48] like goes to her and it has a moment of like me. Basically what he says is you're hot. Why do you like this guy? And you give her this moment of like a person like you would never understand which is such a...

[01:06:57] Like anything is I understand when it's like it could be powerful, it could be powerful, it could not be. But like she says the thing of like I see past this physical thing and it's like you gave her that but then you dropped it. Yeah.

[01:07:08] What's the very next scene she has after that? That scene cuts out after she says that line where she explains to him like a man like you could never understand the implication being that after all these guys have treated her like garbage her entire life

[01:07:18] here's the one guy who's not groping her. Okay. Lying to her. Yeah. Then a hard cut to her storming back to Victor Novorsky and saying you fucking lied to me. Why do you tell me you were a contractor?

[01:07:29] Why didn't you tell me you've been living here for nine months? It is. Which is the thing I fucking hate. He did. He did. He did but also he barely speaks English. Yeah. Like you look at that first scene where she's asking questions.

[01:07:38] Maybe have an ounce of compassion for the man who is stateless. Yeah. Yeah. And also he did try to tell you. Yeah, he said I live in the airport. The first scene he keeps on going like I live in the airport.

[01:07:51] And she goes like I know I feel like that too. He goes what do you do for a living? I go from building to building. Oh you're a contractor? Like she's the one who creates the lies and he's like I don't know.

[01:07:59] And what he says in that scene is like you see what you want in the men. Yeah. He says he's like I told you you see what you want. And it's like also we all do that. Also guess what later in the movie he becomes a contractor. Seriously.

[01:08:12] So he wasn't lying. He becomes a paid contractor. All right. Okay. Diego Luna. I just I know we're done with Catherine Tina Jones. I hate hate hate. We've all been on wet record that we don't like it.

[01:08:23] No, but I was going to say specifically I hate the caught in a lie thing. And romantic comedy where it's like the guy lies about something and then the woman gets upset about the lie. And it always feels like.

[01:08:34] And then he has to take her on a date or do something like build her a fountain. But it always feels like the way those scenes play out. It always feels an execution like she's more upset about realizing he has less status than he does

[01:08:47] than she is about the lying. And this movie does that too where it's like she is so little sympathy for what he's going through. And it's just like I thought you were a contractor owned an apartment. You're a bum who lives in an airport.

[01:08:57] I mean, he didn't do a justice. Diego Luna's character Diego Luna's character. Enrique the food guy. He brings Victor food. I don't even know where to start man. I remember I remember I'm so mad thinking about him actually is like

[01:09:10] Diego Luna had been in each moment and beyond just a couple years ago. So he's just starting to be like in Hollywood. Dirty Dancing Havana Knights comes out earlier that year. That's right. That was his first big American studio movie. He's in Frida.

[01:09:23] He's in open range in 03 which he's great. Oh really? His button. Have you never seen it? I've never seen it. What a great movie. The cause directed that right? Yeah, big cause. Dirty Dancing yeah. You know what you got to say.

[01:09:34] And then after this he takes it easy for a while. He does Spanish language movies mostly. Comes back to America with milk. Again more like. Yeah you ain't say it yet. You ain't say it yet. You ain't say it.

[01:09:46] He also started Star Wars Rogue One which just this year passed a bill. A billion. Passed a bill. That's true. A billion. And he has his accent in that movie and I'm like good for you man. Very exciting. Also good for you.

[01:09:59] Also we should note he wants to touch Yabba and you should let him touch Yabba. Have you seen the video? No. The like montage of like 18 different press events where he's doing Rogue One

[01:10:11] and they're like what do you want to you know what do you like about Star Wars I love Yabba the Hutt you know Yabba is so interesting. Oh my god that was my interview. I directed that. It's like him in Felicity Jones and he's like.

[01:10:20] There's one of them is I'm sure one of them once you did. Listen he wants to touch Yabba. He does he wants to eat like this is my thing though. That man is so likable. That man is so likable right? Yeah oh very likable.

[01:10:30] They made him into such a creepy. He's such a creepy man. This movie thinks that he's likable and cute right? Like right the movie is like aw like he admires Zoe Saldana from afar. It sends them to no scrutiny.

[01:10:44] See but the thing about this though is I think now that we're living in like a more progressive we have a more progressive mindset is that back in the day this might have worked. It's like. In 1947?

[01:10:54] Yeah yeah this might have worked but now we understand is that you can't just look at a woman from a distance and talk to somebody like hey I need to what does he say tame her? Yes. Like he goes on a model like I need to.

[01:11:04] She's a wild horse. A wild horse I need to tame. I'm like what the. That is correct he does say that. He does. And he says something else like I can't remember. He calls her a stallion. Yes. A stallion.

[01:11:12] He calls her a couple of things and I'm like first off this is not how you talk about somebody that you think you're in love with. Probably not. And not only that but like you're going about it with a guy to like get info.

[01:11:24] From her on a daily basis dude. He's noticed that Victor goes to the immigration desk every day so he interacts with Zoe Saldana every day. And he makes her laugh. He makes her laugh. And she likes him even though he's a pain in the ass.

[01:11:35] And Saldana makes it clear to him like you're not gonna get approved. I can only go so far. It's I can't do anything for you but every day he's gonna go to her no matter what. Yeah. And so.

[01:11:43] Dago Luna who let's point out up until this point his group his Tri McBride Pagoda Dago Luna group has been pushing out Novorsky because Pagoda thinks that he's a CIA. Yes. You're calling him Pagoda God damn it. It's a great to draw. Yeah thank you.

[01:11:56] I was like before. Yes Pagoda has decided that like Victor is like a spy or something. Right. So they're like. He has reason to be paranoid as we learn because he stabbed someone. Yes. Yes.

[01:12:08] Yes thank goodness we finally get to that because I was like why are we doing this spy thing man. But the thing is so he's paying Victor in meals right paying Victor in meals to get info but it's such a creepy thing that I'm like.

[01:12:21] It also doesn't make any fucking sense just talk to her. But I mean I mean I've been nervous to talk to women sometimes. Yeah. I've been like but I will go to a legitimate friend of hers and be like oh sure.

[01:12:31] You're like what does she like like okay I'm like but to say I'm going to tell me help me help me like whatever. It also I mean oh my goodness. It ends up being so you see like months and months because this movie does a weird it kind

[01:12:47] of does the Groundhog Day thing where it's like you can't even keep track of how long he's been there has it been a year has it been a week right like it plays really fast and lose with time the difference is that Groundhog Day is like metaphysical.

[01:12:57] We're not talking about Groundhog Day. You know what I'm saying and this movie like six plays in quote unquote the real world and you're like wait but actually how long has it been how much time has passed. What do you think like a year?

[01:13:06] No they say she says I didn't know how long it was until she says nine months. She says nine months. Okay. She catches him. So like no one knows until she says nine months.

[01:13:14] So I don't know how far into that Diego Luna comes from with the food but you assume it's pretty early because a month in maybe. You can't make it that long off of just crackers right and they nip the the trolley

[01:13:24] return system the cart return system pretty quickly so it's like they're like maybe three to six months of him every day just trying to like pump information out of Saldana. Now still would be creepy but like on a more functional story level you would want to see

[01:13:43] Tom Hanks goes he gets some information out of her and then what you see is Diego Luna going and starting a conversation with her using the information that he's found. Instead what's happened is Diego Luna just stockpiles the information in the hollowed

[01:13:56] out nest of a tree for like six months until he's ready to talk to her. Yes he digs a hole in the ground and whispers the information into it.

[01:14:02] Right and just every day is like more information good I'll write it down in my book and not talk to her and just learns everything he can about her until they finally just go like your secret

[01:14:12] mile because she has certain point picks up on the fact clearly these questions are being asked because of some guy. It's some guy here you have to imagine at this point she would take it into her own hands and be like I'm gonna figure it out.

[01:14:24] And finally the final day in a month is Tom Hanks when Diego Luna has still never spoken to her. Has not met her. Right Tom Hanks slides a ring. A wedding ring. You're making me not like this movie now. Sorry buddy. This drives me insane.

[01:14:35] It's an odd choice. And says if you want to meet your secret mile he'll be waiting at the bar because I don't get off until blank. A clock and he says like he'll be he'll be waiting. He'll be waiting.

[01:14:46] And then you see the shot of Diego Luna sitting nervously you know shaking his leg. He wants to touch Yabba. Drinking it wants to touch Yabba. He's drinking soda. The texture of him you know he's such an interesting character. The tongue. The tongue. He wants to touch Yabba.

[01:14:59] He's thinking about Yabba. Zoey Saldana comes up. He feels her presence over her shoulder. Turns around she does the live long and prosper Vulcan salute. She does. She turns her hand around. That's cute. Perfectly cute. It's like.

[01:15:11] Perfectly cute if maybe they've gone a few dates at this point. And this is Spielberg like trying to do like light touch it's a lube-bitch moment. It's a purely gesture moment you convey whatever. Turns the Vulcan salute around and the rings on her finger. Makes no sense.

[01:15:24] She's gonna marry him? Hard cut to them in a fucking airport fucking golf cart. Makes no sense. Just married. We never see them have a conversation the entire film. Yeah well I mean this is the you know yeah there's no way to even defend this.

[01:15:40] No it does it. Garbage. Forgetting the creepy you know nice guy quote unquote overtones of it that are bad. It doesn't make any goddamn sense that this is why it would. It sucks because the movie makes it like oh you can do this creepy shit and it works.

[01:15:55] Not only that and it just turns them all into like dumb two-dimensional like you know like. I could be meaner about it but basically just dumb two-dimensional characters who are like oh la la

[01:16:05] I love you like let's get married I don't know it's just what Zoe doesn't serve a purpose. She's good to be but I think it's in this movie she's good. It's great but like she doesn't serve any purpose but to like have Diego Luna marry her again.

[01:16:16] Right she doesn't come like her friend really gives Tom Hanks the green stamp like that there's like you know a finality to that. But my thing is what can she've been one of the friends? Yes. Like she should be one of the friends.

[01:16:28] She should be in the group Diego should have a crush on her and like not be able to tell her and Tom Hanks should eventually like help him like start a conversation with her. Yes she likes to work. So she should just be a friend.

[01:16:39] She should just be a friend. She had been in center stage. Uh-huh. Get over it. Uh-huh crossroads. Crossroads with Britney Spears. Drumline. I love her drumline. Pirates the Caribbean where she slaps Johnny Deffase. I think it's just that's it basically.

[01:16:52] I think twice in the movie she slaps him. And this was it so then you know she was on a nice upward you know no super star to me yet. And then after this she becomes the queen of sci-fi.

[01:17:01] Yeah a little while after this because Star Trek is 09 and that's what she's about to do. She makes a lot of movies that I've never really heard of. I mean she's the love interest in guess who but that's a thankless role. Yes. She's who Aaron, Jesus.

[01:17:13] Aaron Kutcher's man. Mary. She had that one action movie was it? Columbia honor. Columbia was that before? No Columbia is 11. Wow. That's that long. I never understood why they didn't give her more of those.

[01:17:23] It like she is really good in Columbia which is a shitty movie but it was like it fucking like Mila Jojovich and Kate Beckinsale can do like a thousand movies.

[01:17:31] My guess is that she doesn't want to but I'm not sure because I'm pretty sure she could set up another you know small to mid-budget action movie if she wanted to. Even if she didn't want to do Columbia on a shoe. She's pretty fucking busy man.

[01:17:40] I mean she's you know and she's in live by night you know like that must have taken you know like she's in a lot of big movies. She's great. She's actually the thing is I tell you it is.

[01:17:48] I feel like we're like you know like we're filming this story right now but it's like I feel like the thing is she's pretty that's the problem. Yes she's gorgeous. She's pretty the thing is like it like it and it does happen with men sometimes it's

[01:17:59] like you look at like a Brad Pitt it's like you have to become such a thing where like oh you're so handsome you only can do yeah leading man action movies but if you're an actress and you're pretty you will only get pretty roles and tell something

[01:18:09] so you either get older. Right. Like I saw a movie with me Mila Kunis playing a mom and I'm like yes she is a mom in real life but I'm like you don't have to make her a mom right now.

[01:18:18] Well all right okay now we're all standing very sorry sorry we're all a bunch of allies okay guys. Yeah we're look this is a very woke podcast. Not only doesn't this isn't even a purpose to be a woke which is like we're just so

[01:18:28] much like you ain't even got it. Zoe's on down to serve no purpose in this movie but to get married. Woke me if you cast. Woke me if you cast. Steven Wilkberg.

[01:18:37] Can I just can I just I want to re-underline a certain point okay on a basic story function level. Woke up the world. Still would have been creepy as fuck creepy AF right. Diego Luna never does anything with the information that Tom Hanks gives him. Ever.

[01:18:55] He collects the information. Then proposes to her. In a way that has nothing to do with what he finds out about her he says he wants to tame her and then he does nothing other than have his crush grow based on the information he relates to him.

[01:19:07] Nothing changes. They don't interact at any point until they do not interact I have one thing to say. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Woke skull. Good job. That's actually a good one. Ten comedy points. I agree thank you.

[01:19:19] The next character we should talk about is Chai McBride he runs a poker game. I mean great job. Yeah great job. Interesting character. Nice check. Like. And then you've got Kumar Pallana as Pagoda aka Gupta. Right.

[01:19:31] He stabbed a guy come and spin some plates and he I guess he's the hardest to win over and then he has this moment where he stops at 747 from taking off. Yo. With a mop. Running in front of it with his mop. Yeah.

[01:19:45] Now I can see a movie where you build to this point. Okay we're all taking the mic to the lab. I gotta say I can't like I can see a movie where you build to this as like a crucial you know set piece in the film. Yes.

[01:19:57] It doesn't actually have any bearing on what Victor then does which is decide to maybe actually catch another point some other time. Yeah I mean. You know like because the idea surely isn't that Kumar Pallana delays the plane so much that Tom Hanks can have a whole fight

[01:20:14] with Stanley Tucci leave the airport go to a jazz club get a guy's signature watch and play the sax come back get like get on the same plane right. No right. Now as you bring that up can I just say something to the two of you

[01:20:26] right please go ahead. I want to say I'm sorry. Oh for one I feel I feel like I feel like we could I should have picked. No. I should have liked this movie and I'm like even this morning when I

[01:20:37] you know what I mean and I want to say the movie is not that bad. There are things yeah it's a watchable movie. It's watchable but the thing is there's so many problems. Yes. And it's like get he he literally shames technically shames Victor yelling at him

[01:20:53] in this airport right so it's like your coward you're not going to leave the airport is when Victor's freedom is finally granted. Coward and Tucci is like get the fuck out of here. You know don't leave yeah I'll say to cause him a coward and then I think

[01:21:04] is it time to try another cop who is going to pull them aside and says no the situation is too she was like threatened to deport you or you know like and so that's when Kumar Pallana decides to run in front of an airplane.

[01:21:18] Yeah first off this show Victor that he should be similarly heroic. I don't like what I just want to say two things quickly. One is drawn never apologize. I mean this movie guys we should we should have did like but we were going

[01:21:29] to do a terminal matter what yeah of course we're always going to do a terminal. And here's the thing our terminal episode would be much worse if you weren't on it. Yeah if it was just like me and Griffin being like you know you know they wouldn't

[01:21:39] be your powerhouse guest you're making this a must listen episode. No this is my think about it my think first off that the friendship we're good thank you and Victor I feel like now I should call him forest.

[01:21:50] I should you know between Victor and for I mean we're good at forest and like their friendship isn't strong enough that like he's going in front of absolutely not he attempted to kill a man right and he's going back to his

[01:22:02] country. Yes like this won't end well for him. No although let's to be fair he is 85 years old so he lived a nice life but he is I mean he waits by and says I'm going home he's willing to sacrifice everything for

[01:22:13] Victor Navorsky to the point that he is going to be flown back to his country you know he's gonna be extradited and then he's going to probably either be uh die in prison right either die in prison or be given like the death sentence or

[01:22:25] fucking whatever yeah like this won't end well and I'm like has forest I'm gonna call him for us now I gotta get back on brand yeah all right has for us aren't that kind of friendship yet no absolutely not the movie does not do that

[01:22:37] is does not it would almost you would almost buy it more from Diego Luna because Tom Hanks was quote unquote responsible for setting up with his wife. No but the reason is that off screen it's been explained to uh Kumar Palana that uh he was

[01:22:52] like this is a noble act by Victor to not get him deported did he have to take the mob did he have to take the mob it's and then when he pushed them to put the mop on the tire

[01:23:04] I was like you ain't got the oh but it's the Spielberg touch it's the little whimsy like you ain't gotta put the mop on the tire no you don't no you don't and the and it stops just in

[01:23:14] times that the mop is just resting on the tire but also everyone is so nervous and scared that in my mind I'm like we do realize that nothing in this movie is set up that this is he's about

[01:23:24] to die right like I had no fear of this man in this plane at any point absolutely not but I will say this Tom Hanks did a good job because he was selling fear yes he was Tom Hanks had fear in his

[01:23:35] eyes but it makes the movie more confusing because you're like wait I'm supposed to be scared right now yo Tom Hanks is too good of an actor to do this movie what were you gonna say that I don't

[01:23:43] remember um doesn't matter it doesn't matter that's the end of Kumar Palana we're not going to talk about him anymore fucking I'm sorry just the moment where he screams at me goes like

[01:23:51] you coward Victor Navorsky you coward you leave you were so close you're going to leave now he screams coward as he walks right like vehemently viciously we should say this point come on

[01:24:02] is basically just been the guy from the west anderson movie right yes he and really he's in duplex oh yeah oh it's indian rest of ito's duplex yeah um yeah this was like a big deal

[01:24:13] that it was like oh speilberg's putting him in a movie now and then uh yeah he's just kind of like light and whatever for most of the movie even when he talks about trying to stab the copies

[01:24:21] like whatever and now suddenly this like moment it flips out and it's like wait so it's supposed to be that like victor is his inspiration like victor is his like spirit animal and it's like

[01:24:31] if victor can't make it to new york then everything is lost you're you're trying too hard to make this make no i'm saying that's where the movie like fucking falls apart in the movie at guys i don't

[01:24:40] even know what they were okay but some of it is the movie still fun some of it is charming and that's a little tom hanks is great tom hanks is quite charming uh even though i agree with you

[01:24:52] that in general in the first he's maybe a little too broadly calm he tones it down in the right way he's a good actor he does a good job there's an idea to this movie of like a portrait of

[01:25:02] like a community you know what i mean like and sort of like how the state can exist even where the state does not exist whatever right yeah like the community is rooted in people yes that might

[01:25:12] be a good movie but unfortunately i feel like all the little story lines are too cartoonish they're too you know thinly sketched like no one really gets much to do except for big grand moments that don't

[01:25:22] make any fucking sense that aren't earned like all the big moments that jones stuff is so yeah cabins in the jones part makes me the saddest yeah but the thing is like when he's about to leave

[01:25:31] finally and the thing is this is the thing cat me uh zoe sardana tells him that he can't leave even before all this before before before like trying to stop the plane like kevin's you

[01:25:42] don't tell them i mean uh zoe sardana says you have to get this signed by stanley tucci we know this stanley tucci he goes home stan tucci says no put him on the plane and at this point stanley

[01:25:51] tucci has said like you're stuck here yeah so you know as we already mentioned stanley tucci for no good reason decides to ground him in the airport forever even though stanley tucci's

[01:26:01] previous stated game was to get him out of the airport it would make his life easier yeah because it's not good for him to have a homeless man essentially living in an airport now he's petty

[01:26:10] he thinks because he uh is the one who prevented me from getting the promotion i want i'll keep him here and then he gets a promotion he got the motion anyway decides to be meaner yes then at the end

[01:26:21] they're like for crying out loud tom hanks what's in the jar of peanuts and he's like a famous photo of jazz musicians and my dad like jazz jones on the date it's he says it to her on the

[01:26:31] date and like you know his dad like jazz music i guess or at least like this photo that's what's crazy is you just i know i've already said you already said yeah but you want to make it that like

[01:26:42] he buys a jazz album he listens to it it's so great that he decides he wants all the autographs instead of the way tom hanks tells the story is literally like he saw this photo he's 33 men and

[01:26:50] he kept on staring at the photo like he was a fan of the photo i mean i mean my thing is is that like so so that moment happens and all of a sudden like now now uh victor's like i'm leaving right now

[01:27:02] we've already established he can't leave yes we already know but now everyone in the airport is like he's going he's going victor's like and they start giving him all this free gift presents

[01:27:12] we haven't established that these people liked him yet yeah most of them turned him down for a job yep and let's also point out that when he was suffering he had no money no one wanted to

[01:27:20] give him anything for fucking free now that he's leaving and he actually has autonomy right they're like take some slippers yeah take this squishy thing yeah right like now we've never seen or like victor's leaving like oh he needs this you know dehumidifier take these meals like

[01:27:37] they never offer him meals at any point when you take this food take this food right oh you know what no i take that back they did establish why people like him because after he saved um the

[01:27:45] guy with the pills right right that's probably the best scene in the movie yes it's okay there's that set piece in the middle it's okay it's a pretty good scene this one of the this one of the

[01:27:55] better one is one of the best it's a good scene chuchy gets called away i think i'm more annoyed by by its implications you know why it makes sure you matter whatever you make some of your

[01:28:03] then the scene itself is pretty right i think the scene in of itself is a good scene yeah chuchy gets called away from when he's meeting with his superiors they go this is important

[01:28:10] there's a he's ranting i think he's russian russian or something you know he's supposed to be related you know his language is close enough to carcosan yeah yes which is supposed to be a

[01:28:22] Balkan state carcose it's supposed to be like Macedonia or something like that right he's got medication that it's not legal for him to bring into the country was supposed to fly straight

[01:28:30] to canada for that reason but the flight got diverted or shifted whatever he's freaking out how you doing ben pretty sure ben ben you all right ben do sir pretty good ben we haven't introduced

[01:28:40] him but ben have you been drinking water yeah yeah i've been barely staying awake honestly guys what are you positive wow that makes us feel good about the podcast the house you're pretty

[01:28:50] close to death right now it sounds like no i'm fine i just stayed out really late last night dirt back bank yeah you have a good time though oh man it was so fun the people

[01:29:00] yeah the tiebreaker the fart detective the meat lover yeah yeah can i just ask you one question quickly uh please do griffin have you graduated certain tells over the course of different

[01:29:12] mini series yes yes we have like i don't know for example producer ben cano be kylo ben that sounds from yeah i think that's one of them ben itch humlon ben say sure uh say benny thing

[01:29:22] uh ailey ben's with a dollar sign hell yeah okay cool and you're doing all right yeah i'm doing fine i had a fun time yesterday was the the woman's march and uh i didn't participate but i just got

[01:29:34] really drunk well that's how you wanted to show support celebration so i sort of hear you are man what's that your hero your hero i know i do what i can it's fine you can go back

[01:29:45] to sleep don't worry i'm sorry i'll throw out a couple of things i got a couple of things you know me yeah all right you sound really excited about everything here we go with ben's band is our finest

[01:29:55] film crew wow all right all right check it so um i love a little touch of the tooch he does love to touch the tooch this is previously established on the record i love a little touch of the toot

[01:30:07] in my opinion this movie needs a touch of the toot and instead it has kind of like you know like a lot of the toots that's one of the funniest things i love a little touch of the toot

[01:30:16] and he said it like we all know what was that established i can't even remember when he first loved the touch of the toot yeah it was established in something though that you love yeah i keep

[01:30:24] saying a touch of the toots okay any other points you want a little touch uh what else um um what else what else uh tom hanks you know what a treasure yes yeah america's golden man

[01:30:38] hot take that they call america's dad that's his name wait you're telling me you think tom hanks is good is likable and good at his job yeah he seems like a nice guy oh my god cool wow great

[01:30:48] i agree all right well that's been oh that's that's it that's ben's corner yeah i didn't i think we were i didn't watch the movie guys so that's why i was like oh yeah yeah i'm just

[01:30:58] gonna sit this one out but wait because i think tooch was my best supporting actor winner last year yeah and spotlight uh anyway touch the tooch yeah i mean you always want a

[01:31:06] little touch of the toot always i mean you know i watch hundred games i'm like just a tooch is killing this movie maybe makes a mistake of rather than giving you a touch of the tooch like serving you

[01:31:15] like sour cream as an entree yeah just a bowl of sour cream and you're like i wanted a side of sour cream this is a little touch i want to touch the toot yeah um this goat scene they

[01:31:25] immediately go like we can't talk to this guy they go why don't you bring in a translator won't be able to get here for an hour oh maybe hey if you have a translator that could be on

[01:31:32] the translator at any hour maybe you should have called it in minute five of the move yeah yeah anyway hanks they call him viktor navorsky he's trying to reason with them his dad his dad his dad

[01:31:43] they go i'm sorry we can't bend the rules on this we can't break the law and hanks pulls a hero move yeah and decides to essentially tells this guy say you were it was for an animal

[01:31:52] and it's because at this point hanks is read up on your report all the immigration whatever he's read up on everything you've been reading because we know cuz nely tuti says it yes he does say it

[01:32:01] he tells him tell them you've been reading this yes he challenges him he intimidates him he makes some photocopy his hand a bunch of times true and then that becomes like his like hero protest

[01:32:11] poster like they hold up right you're right right that's when they that's what everyone starts that's when everyone's like did you hear about this kumar pilana is suddenly converted to the cause of navorsky right starts talking about him like he was like saying we don't need no stinking

[01:32:23] badges essentially yeah also they make him go through the metal detector to prove that he doesn't have a microphone which but it does not fuck him up by the way they put in through that machine

[01:32:33] i was like first off that shouldn't be okay right like pregnant women aren't allowed to go through like the stand-up one okay and also like the the old trope of people hiding stuff up

[01:32:44] there but that lasts for like a couple hours this guy's been at the airport for months now do you think that every night he takes it out and then puts it back in the bud yes like and you can see him on

[01:32:53] the camera because he lives at the airport very true yeah it should be anyway whatever yeah but i was just saying like this moment of like everyone everyone cheering him on as he leaves yeah

[01:33:03] mind you he we all know he still can't legally get out of this place yeah and also we all know that you most of you have not given a fuck about him for months nope yeah um and it was it was the

[01:33:14] what's the main cops name Barry Shabaka Henry who is a great actor he plays thurman i want to point out Barry Shabaka Henry this is something i just learned his real name is Barry Joseph Henley

[01:33:24] took the name middle name Shabaka from a pharaoh in Egypt's 25th dynasty i don't know why but oh it's because that's cool i mean shabaka that's a great name it's a pretty it stands out

[01:33:36] Barry Shabaka Henry like anyway but he's great in like i mean i think of him as a michael man guy he's amazing collateral here's the thing i love is the jazz club owner this and collateral are both

[01:33:47] in the same year right yeah okay and this movie is tom hanks has to get past Barry Shabaka Henry so you can go to a jazz club true and collateral is jayme fox has to take tom cruise to a jazz

[01:33:58] club right so that he can assassinate Barry Shabaka yeah she does forgetting our fact about miles davis wrong but that is which is insane it is a weird scene that is the primary job that tom cruise

[01:34:07] has to execute in that movie right that's like the main assassination that he's supposed to pull off is the Barry Shabaka Henley one no that's one of five assassinations the main ones the

[01:34:16] korean club owner i just think it's interesting that those two movies are both related to jayus guys having to get to a jazz club and Barry Shabaka Henry but Barry Shabaka Henry plays

[01:34:24] castillo and mike miami vice the miami vice movie he's in a li what else is he in he's in he was in flash forward wait is he in no i'm a girl i'm about to say is he in la la la but i might be

[01:34:36] well about that uh not well he's not that but he's in something i've seen in the last month yeah he's in something recently Patterson which he's the uh the borrower who's playing jessica

[01:34:45] himself great he's very good great performance um always good just you know a nice character actor who's always good so he's in the first like 20 or 30 minutes of this movie a lot as like tuchy's

[01:34:57] enforcer right he's sanley tuchy's right hand man yep you get the sense that over the course of the movie he's being charmed by victor's exploits but mostly just as like oh a reality tv show

[01:35:08] that he's watching he's watching hanks on these security monitors i'm sorry he's watching woody the cowboy on the security there you go there you go you know and they like mentioned at one

[01:35:16] point the pool they have going about how long it's gonna be before he gets out January 30 right and at the end of the movie oh they're all walking everyone's cheering behind them right everyone's giving woody these gifts and then Barry shabaka henley the last time defense because

[01:35:32] kory reynolds is now standing behind him escorting hanks he is also a security guard yeah and he's escorting hanks to the exit true and Barry shabaka henley goes turn around turn around victor

[01:35:44] good because at this point daily tuchy tuchy's yelling in his ear arrest him arrest him arrest them and it all makes sense why this would be happening and shabaka this this is probably one

[01:35:53] of the scenes that makes the most sense this point right here of the lion of cops yes shabaka takes the jacket off of his own back puts it on victor divorce game which is interesting because when he

[01:36:06] took his coat off and put it on forest i was like he's the only one with a coat on why does he have this coat on right so once he said turn around i'm like he has a coat on to give it

[01:36:15] to forest right he gives it to Robert Langdon so that because he says it's cold outside that is the winter he's going to need it jim noel now yes right yes uh so then yeah so then sully sullenberger

[01:36:25] finally gets to leave the airport and he says welcome to america mm-hmm um he goes to a jazz club uh he watches benny gulson the great this one there's one part that piss me off the most

[01:36:36] we even get to that please some hanks is in the car he sees uh uh um what's amada and like no name remora sorry he's in he's in he's in a taxi and as he's driving off standing to come running out

[01:36:48] yes like he's gonna stop him comes running out standing to see some drives or drive off and then he smiles and he's like oh forget her uh yeah and i'm like what and they go like what do you

[01:36:58] want us to do sir and he's like two fourteen is landing in from blank we got a lot of work to do i was like wait so is he now cool with tom hanks this guy he cannot figure out whether or

[01:37:08] not he loves or hates hanks whether he's trying to help him get out or keep him in um and then he goes to the jazz club and uh he sees the performance it's it's a little touching hanks plays that

[01:37:20] scene really well when he's talking to the guy and he's so excited to see him and then you see him walk out of the remora in he gets into a cab driven by scott adds it and he goes where can i

[01:37:28] take you and he goes home this part made me think of john brie lot thank you john so john like job reloach was in was it this is why you're single and it's how to be single how to be single it's the

[01:37:37] exact same moment the one we're gonna have one fucking great joke and how to be he does when we saw it everyone went and like that is the probably that line in that movie probably got the biggest

[01:37:46] laugh when i was like be fair like we saw in a theater that was like one third reloach friends yeah true hey listen no one needs to know that but the other two

[01:37:54] thirds of the audience also they laughed burst into spontaneous applause with us get to your point please there's a point in the movie where she's hit rock bottom emotionally right go to johnson yes

[01:38:04] all three guys that she's been sort of dating all meat and everything explodes and whatever right and then she gets into a cab driven by brie lot and there's like the same sort of like yeah

[01:38:12] sure big crane shot yeah the magical here's the new york taxi cab driver and he pulls up and brie lot's got like this real light touch and he goes like where can i take you

[01:38:22] and then she goes like home take me home and brie lot just turns out and goes bitch i don't know where the fuck you live yo it was like one of the greatest i was like that's a great lie also

[01:38:31] especially because brie doesn't curse yeah like i had to pay fucking 15 dollars a year you curse shit but like especially in a post brie lot climate it's impossible to watch that be

[01:38:43] the final line of the terminal i know and be like you just end it on this where you you want him to drive you back to carcosa or are you going back to the airport you just left

[01:38:53] yeah that's my home i'm going back i'm gonna live in the airport for another 15 years excuse me guys yes he's going home he's going he is carcosa he also does hang out with benny goulson watches and

[01:39:04] play the sax yes the real musician one of the only two surviving musicians from that photo that's cool yeah true uh and uh then he goes back home uh and then there's really cool credit sequence where everyone's signatures are the their titles cards yeah and it builds some

[01:39:17] suspense because as you're going through the cast you're like oh man what's always sold on his signature yeah and i love that dega lunes is just a printed name yeah yeah uh and like

[01:39:26] chai mc brides is the most elaborate crazy like it goes all the way back to the sea and then somehow comes around to be like an eye it's great and some of the guys like underline their unnamed

[01:39:36] like kanks and tucci it's like oh those are a lot of guys we can't get excited just because of the credit you're on the wrong podcast if you're on it that's the most exciting part of the

[01:39:46] credits i'll say this i saw this movie once in theaters when it came out it was right after my grandmother had died oh and uh we were uh up in upstate new york where my grandparents lived

[01:39:59] and it was like a movie where like let's get out go to the local theater there's like one like two screen theater near my grandparents what used to be their house before they were

[01:40:07] dead people oh god god here we go buddy and uh and we went to see it there with like my mom my brother and it like the movie had already come out and sort of bombed at that point had gotten

[01:40:15] bad reviews and everyone was just sort of like shrugging it off we went to see it and i was like ah i think it should just be charming and i remembered so little of the movie save for those

[01:40:23] credits like those i remember the thing first off in my crop this movie made 200 million worldwide okay we'll get to the box office game all right i i own it don't remember how i came into

[01:40:34] possession but you do own it i do own it i don't remember how i got into possession it's like a monkey's pod showed up on your door i got it i got it i don't remember buying it but i got it

[01:40:42] and the thing is like it is not the best but again i do like movies that are just randomly happy whatever you call these kind of things yeah charming um so we do a game here

[01:40:54] oh no go ahead give another point you want to make uh no oscar nominations not even for john williams is perfectly serviceable score perfectly which is pretty usually they'll toss him anything right half the time the score is like him riffing on a fake krakosian national

[01:41:09] anthem that he made up and half the time it's just like buttery spielberg yeah i'd expect this to uh in my opinion a little more rudely does not get an uh a production design nomination which

[01:41:20] is a very nice yeah production design job it won the art director guild award this is one of the best sets in recent cinema history i mean just the breadth of work because it looks real it

[01:41:30] looks real it looks i don't know if you want to go for impressive over art or whatever but it is anyway yes so we're gonna play a box office game where we try to guess the movies that were numbers

[01:41:39] one to five at the box office uh yeah just a weekend this came out try to guess okay the movie made 77 mil in america that's even higher than i remember you know just fine and uh 219 worldwide

[01:41:50] okay okay like you say pretty good pretty good pretty good pretty good you know for spielberg and hanks it's a little yeah not for them but you give me one of those movies i want more yeah that's true

[01:42:00] yeah comes out ain't no griffin newman vehicle that's done to 19 worldwide comes out june 18th 2004 number two at the box office 19 million is its opening weekend now i think people thought it

[01:42:12] was gonna do like 40 and certainly thought it was gonna be number one i remember distinctly what beat it because it was viewed as like a very big this is a changing of the guard if like spielberg

[01:42:20] and hanks are beaten out by this movie then hollywood is shifted beaten out by a hollywood comedy that only cost 20 million to make me 30 million in its opening weekend i know what it is i know it's one

[01:42:31] uh 2004 okay okay wait wait wait wait dodgeball dodgeball correct underdogs because i remember that year because dodgeball came out because it was a battle between my friends do you like dodgeball or 40 o virgin they both came out the same summer oh that's right dodgeball came out first

[01:42:46] for your version comes out at the end of the summer came at the end of the summer and it was huge it's huge and is a much better yeah i mean dodgeball talk about a forgettable movie yeah

[01:42:54] yeah that's true but it was so fun though it was fun and silly it's got some good stuff i mean it's got jason bateman it was so fantastic vio joh oh eight uh commentator rip torn's really good no

[01:43:05] rip torn's good although that he became a little me me yeah kind who would have thought days in bateman yeah i like dodgeball is weird but so fun it's entertaining it's fine it's it's

[01:43:15] fine number three at the box office number three uh number three is um a film the third in a franchise third film in a franchise okay uh the first of these movies in this franchise to come out in the summer

[01:43:28] it had been a winter franchise uh harry potter and the prisoner of aspen correct makes great job 18 he's got it this he makes it makes 18 million it's third weekend 190 total one of the lowest

[01:43:38] grossing harry potter moves which one was i think it was i think it's the number one lowest grossing one because it was the first time it got dark right yeah it's the best one

[01:43:45] and it came out in the summer and it just it was you know it wasn't really a summer the summer was weird for them and then also like eventually everyone came to terms with the fact that the

[01:43:52] movies were going to become darker but like at the time people were complaining like why aren't they wearing the wizard robes the whole time that's not harry potter they have to wear the

[01:43:58] robes yeah i guess so dark people are like oh yeah they're wearing like dirty clothes number four is in its fifth weekend it is the most successful film of 2004 uh shrek 2 wow 13 million it's four in its fifth weekend it has made 378 million dollars uh people forget

[01:44:14] this at the time of its release shrek 2 was the third highest grossing movie period yep full stop the top three movies of all time were titanic then star wars then shrek 2 wow and it held onto that

[01:44:27] for a while remember all the great scenes in shrek 2 i mean i remember shrek 1 remember shrek 1 what happens to shrek 2 again uh well i went on a rabbit hole with shrek 2 the other day

[01:44:37] is that puss in boos was that some boos is just really you know when he's in the third one that's three shrek with her i went on a rabbit hole of shrek 2 the other day because i have a hot

[01:44:43] take i think no movie in history has aged more poorly than the track because shrek 2 is loaded with like pop culture references and the crappy throwaway jokes right right and it ends with like

[01:44:54] puss and donkey singing live in levita loca correct right see that's not a problem i have isn't that called far far away idol or is that something else that's a special feature on the

[01:45:01] dvd that they know uh see that's the thing is like when you make movies that's so like reference of the time is like you just dated instantly yes i remember a scene where the gingerbread

[01:45:10] man is like wearing a thong yes yes and he's shamed for this well yes and in the second one there's a big thing where they even though he's a gingerbread person they build a mongo who's like the uh like

[01:45:22] king kong version of the gingerbread man they build like a giant the ostensible plot of that movie is that shrek has to meet the parents it's me the parents right right they don't know

[01:45:32] i mean the king is a princess is decided to be a shrek an ogre yes right ogre or shrek american shrek american or shrek far far away and and yeah right and then it turns out that yeah yeah okay

[01:45:43] whatever it's a dumb movie and then prince charming who feels gypped because i always forget that gypped has that background and i say it and then i immediately regret saying you should regret saying

[01:45:53] i always think gypped is j i p p e d anyway i'm gonna just get you off of this yeah please number five is a bad movie number five is a bad movie number five is a bad that's it

[01:46:04] just i don't i could give you more clues but i hate this movie you hate it you but you got this one because i'm like yeah a bad movie that doesn't did a lot i don't know you use a gift for

[01:46:13] me a lot i oh what is it when i'm sliding into those dms i'm doing it like garfield garfield the movie oh that originated the first one the first one yeah and it's second weekend it's only

[01:46:25] made 42 mil actually not a huge hit no how did it get a sequel well they just really wanted to tell the tale of two kids he also did really well overseas uh okay guys i loved garfield 125 like

[01:46:36] the cartoon growing up i'd love to meet some garfield there's some weird episodes of that cartoon i the uh john is disgusting if you think it's a weird cartoon the trailer for

[01:46:44] garfield the movie they set it up as a weird risky business thing yeah and they go like this summer and they go like dum dum dum dum dum dum dum like they start playing old time rock and

[01:46:54] roll and then they go get ready for some frisky business right and there's a moment in garfield where garfield slides across the floor wearing sunglasses but in no in the movie he's not in

[01:47:03] the trailer they added sunglasses to make the joke track the poster is him wearing sunglasses yes yeah you never wear sunglasses in the movie bill Murray sounds great as a garfield just wish

[01:47:13] he had a better garfield movie agreed but i use the gift i call it gift field of garfield with the sunglasses sliding whenever i want to make a joke about sliding into dm's like ben ben

[01:47:25] ben can you grown into the mic right now thank you slide into those wow all right and so we i want to add to this hey guys ever seen uh garfield minus garfield yes it's the best it is amazing

[01:47:37] recommended to all our listeners it's a comic some guy went through garfield comic strips and just removes garfield from it so it's just john arbuckle as a man with clinical depression talking to himself oh no it's super surreal and and absurd and it becomes like deeply profound

[01:47:54] i'm about to look at right now it's great all right um just we're almost done but just some other movies in the top ten if you guys have any opinions on these movies the chronicles of ritic

[01:48:02] i like it i haven't seen it i haven't either i love it it's a really good idea listen you haven't seen it at all chronicles of ritic is one of the weirdest action movies ever but it's

[01:48:11] i like it it's some fun dnd shit like a lot of his weird movies it's some crazy fun i guess car judy dench oh yeah judy dench that's got a weird carl urbans carl urbans yet

[01:48:21] tanny newton tanny newton yeah uh stefford wives is in there i don't like that don't like that no not a good movie don't uh the day after tomorrow is in there which you like i do not i do not like it do not

[01:48:32] like i think that movie is delicious i feel like jay jay jay hall doesn't acknowledge shit yeah jay jay hall i bet if he was like to list his movies he would not say that movie no i like

[01:48:41] the quaid stuff in it i just i like i like the effects i like some of the weird side plots i just like i'm always remember the wolves i mean yes remember they're being out when they have to

[01:48:49] outrun yeah yeah i can't i i no no no i agree no no uh around the world in 80 days it came out this weekend it's just a hard no just a hard note of that one that's a big bomb it came out

[01:49:01] this huge bomb yeah uh troi uh is hanging out i i liked troi have you seen it recently i know it won't age doesn't age well at all i didn't like it at the time it's not one of those

[01:49:14] movies where people say the there's a cut that's better and whatever yeah it is a longer version but it's also like it's just not yeah right it's not a good one yeah you saved supersize me mean girls

[01:49:23] van helsing van helsing i'm a man helsing i liked me girls man classic man on fire which is classic pretty good movie that's a good dance they'll be i mean that movie is like way too long

[01:49:35] but still pretty good yeah it's a good movie by you excuse me the blue by you doesn't keep on talking about the blue by yeah oh yeah yeah don't do by you and let's not forget raising helen starring

[01:49:45] kate hudson and a pair of ugg boots directed by gary marshall please calm you know rest r.i.p. gary marshall he's made great movies but some some you know like look man everybody has good and bad days

[01:49:57] yeah true well this has been a great day for us thank you so much thanks for having me guys you're really awesome i'll say this like it was it was a long wait but it was worth thank you i'm

[01:50:07] excited to be here and you know i've been trying to get on for a while i know i got upset because you guys had did um terminate a two and i love terminated i would have had you on for i love

[01:50:15] me some terminated too man those graphics still hold up yeah they do agree uh we'll have you on again unquestionably this is a real a real treat and a pleasure um sometimes you know the way

[01:50:27] is worth it and i'll also say when we uh we're deciding to do spielberg we're here like fuck we're gonna have to do the terminal like right there's a couple where you're just not excited

[01:50:35] this was the episode we were dreading where you're like this is just going to be like making it through it and you made this you made this i think you know what else i'm kind of dreading

[01:50:41] what bfg yeah me too oh i don't want to see the bfg it's such a it's and i don't know but it makes me think like does the beat of g not work can we just make that like 60 minutes

[01:50:52] long it's also a bummer note to end on it's a bummer that's the last movie we get to talk yeah is the is the ready player one is that not dream works but that's not out well that's

[01:51:01] just not out yet that's the problem you know i mean technically uh bfg isn't dream works either what up but we're doing spielberg but we're doing spielberg yeah makes sense all right all right let's wrap it up thanks for being here dry anything you want to plug that's

[01:51:14] happening four months after we record this episode absolutely so by the time this comes out by the time this comes out you guys can go on tbs uh i have an episode of the

[01:51:22] detour this episode six get to play a cop that just chases jason jason jones around for the the whole movie what's jason jones really like actually dude he is so freaking nice

[01:51:33] they think it's nadians man the guy that i was the cop partner i was with i wasn't the biggest fan of at all but like i wonder who that is i mean not the biggest fan and like jason jones was so nice

[01:51:42] he would like just kind of throw out lines yeah but the guy was older and just kept saying the first and i remember getting so pissed off set like uh he was like taking all my new lines taking all

[01:51:50] the rift taking all my new lines man it was tom hanks wasn't it i man i would love i'd be like fucking hangs so you can see that uh uh uh at that point by this point um astronomy club

[01:52:03] our web series astronomy club present should be on the comedy central hopefully cool uh and it's a sketch show three episodes of a sketch show watch them because we need those views

[01:52:11] got those views um and yeah and then hopefully guys you know i have a big movie then or something like maybe an indie why i get to like be a recovering like i don't know addict or like i'm

[01:52:21] be a guy who's a sports athlete who's trying to like make it for his mom or something let's say you have two let's say in the four months between sports drama and recovering addict drama i was gonna say

[01:52:31] you have one indie drama to show your bona fides and you have a big block it's already happened right there's a lot of transformers six and well it's going out you know hopefully the true story

[01:52:40] of i could be one of them red people in black panther that's coming out like everyone's in it's like yeah i swear to god they're good yeah that that's the that cast they're just like oh

[01:52:48] also we added the other guy this movie's gonna make money yes so go see jaron black panther yeah of course listen to black man can't jump in hollywood absolutely thank you yeah thank you so much

[01:52:59] for being here thank you uh thank you for listening please remember to rate review uh subscribe do those things all of those things uh and as always and as always uh the most romantic thing

[01:53:15] you can ever do is acquire as much knowledge as possible about a person not use it in any way and just give my ring randomly and decide to get married before you've ever spoken he took a

[01:53:24] day to get like i'm done you see was this being your last episode why he's dying because it sounds like you're about to die i'm not dead david i just am very hung over and i only slept a couple

[01:53:39] of hours i'm aware but uh you sound so you got more from me there you so so so fuck you david so david fuck you i started recording right jump in whatever you'd like

[01:53:55] put that at the end all right this has been a ucb comedy production check out our other shows on the ucb comedy podcast network