Total Recall with Andrew Jupin and Stephen Sajdak

[00:00:01] Blank Check with Griffin and David Blank Check with Griffin and David Don't know what to say or to expect All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check Hey! I got five kids to podcast! Great. Perfect. Perfect, right? Absolutely perfect.

[00:00:27] That's it in the episode. I was trying to find a divorce one, but then we would have had to record a whole episode and now I found an easy out. We don't even have to do it. Consider that a podcast. I don't know.

[00:00:36] Yeah, we can podcast for your wholesale. See you at the podcast director, right? Exactly. There we go. Of course this episode marks the return of fan favorite character, Yarnol. Yarnol Schwarzenegger. Yarnol Schwarzenegger, Arnold's brother. Hello everybody. My name is Griffin Newman. Oh, I'm David Sims.

[00:00:54] This is a podcast called Blank Check with Griffin and David. We're hashtag the two friends. It's competitive advanced. No other podcast has that going forward. Sorry about it, guys. Sorry about it. Sorry about it. Our show is for friends. I know. That's why I'm saying it.

[00:01:06] We got two. We got two of you today. And I know the two of you are friends and podcasters. We are. But I just don't want you creeping in on our territory. No. Consider us not creepy. Thank God. Thank God. In this climate? Oh boy.

[00:01:20] I love dating our podcast. Yeah, right? Yeah. The day we're recording this is the day that Charlie Rose has been outed. This episode's coming out June of 2020. I think. Yeah, that's right. We're banking up. It's coming out after Justice League three. Yes. Yes.

[00:01:37] Which is the one that's retooled around booster gold. Right. Right. Yes. I don't know. Come on. Yeah. Yes. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. This podcast about filmography. Directors who have massive success early on in their career and never crazy passion projects they want.

[00:01:55] Sometimes those checks clear and sometimes they bounce, baby. Is that our Yarnall? That's Yarnall. Okay. Not Arnold so you can't criticize me for not being good impression because it's not a pressure. It's a different character. It's Yarnall. Sure.

[00:02:08] This is a main series on the films of Paul Verhoeven in Hollywood. Yeah. And it was called Podship Casters. That's what we called it. That is what we called it. What you called it to be. That's what I called it. I just didn't object. I pulled rank.

[00:02:21] I didn't open it up to the listeners. Nope. I made the decision. Yep. And today we're talking about this is definitely. His most successful film, I think. Really? 100 dollars. In terms of your numbers? Yeah. Basic instinct really well. Good. But a very. Just above basic instinct. 119-117.

[00:02:44] Oh wow. Okay. Good for it. A very large budgeted film and a very successful film. Total recall. And as. It's about Dennis Quaid going to Mars. It's about Dennis Quaid on Mars. Yes. Right. He never got to make the sequel of Randy.

[00:02:59] Total recall of the Dennis Quaid story. This was originally called National Ampuns Mars Vacation. Randy called him. He said the star fuckers are out there. You had to get your ass to Mars. He was on that like 30 years ago. Right.

[00:03:11] He just kept it real tight for a while. He settled for Canada. He locked that away. He thought Mars travel was going to have. Oh God. Present itself by now.

[00:03:19] Well, our guests have done an incredible job so far because they've talked before we introduced them, which is what we like at a guest. That's what we want. That is what we want. And if they don't do it, we usually try to prompt them a little bit.

[00:03:29] You know? But they are podcast hosts themselves. We are. We host We Hate Movies, which is a podcast about crummy movies where you have a little bit of fun with it. Yes. Like it's crummy movies be a fun with it. Yes. Right. Which this show we're deathly serious.

[00:03:44] Yeah. Absolutely. Yes. It's the best movie ever. Right. But this is a movie that you guys, I was asking you sort of the criteria of how you decide what because one man's trash is another man's treasure. Of course. One woman's trash is also another woman's treasure. Absolutely.

[00:04:02] And you know, non-gender binary trash can belong to anybody and be repurposed as treasure. Are you helping out of this business? Yes. 100% instinctive. Dogs watch garbage too. Dogs watch garbage. And those cats can then deem that garbage to be treasure. Exactly. Pirates. Alright. Search for treasure.

[00:04:19] They had a hard out. Sometimes they're digging and they find garbage instead. It can go the other way. Sure. I'm saying I don't even see the walls here. You know what I'm saying? I'm thinking outside the bun. This is what he's always like all the time.

[00:04:31] This isn't me struggling. It's always good when I have other podcasters actually. I'm cruising out of it. But some people, like some people I think incorrectly go like, oh that movie is like so corny. Is like corny as fuck. It's like so funny. Yeah.

[00:04:45] This is legit a good movie. I think this is legitimately a good movie. It is a little corny, but it's good. Okay. It's a little corny because it's a Paul Verhoeven son's fiction. That's an Arnie movie from like, and it's Arnold right in 1990. Arnie the Apex.

[00:04:58] Oh, this is prime cut. Everyone knows exactly what they're doing in this. And Verhoeven's a guy, in this movie he really kind of figures out how to frame Arnold. I agree. It's a perfectly pitched Arnold. He understands exactly what's funny about him.

[00:05:12] Because this is, has he done twins at this point? Yeah, this is the after-twins. This is an 80s movie through and through. So he's done, he's gotten a comedy out of the system. Right. Yeah, which he was obsessed with doing. He does his Ivan Reitman comedy trilogy.

[00:05:27] This is probably the last brutal Arnold movie, right? Because this is after Cobra, no Cobra, I'm sorry, after Commando, after Predator obviously. Predator is 87. True last gets kind of violent though. Yeah. It does.

[00:05:42] I mean also you kind of got those like the weird late 90s, like end of days, where he's sort of like, oh we covered that one. Trying to go hard R again. Sure, collateral damage. Eraser collateral damage. I've never seen collateral damage.

[00:05:55] Collateral damage was the 9-11 one, right? That was the one where he plays a firefighter and had to get pushed. Right. And he kills someone with a pipe, I believe. I've never seen anyone do that before. I don't remember. Cliff Curtis is the bad guy.

[00:06:07] Okay, good for Cliff. Someone's like, oh your family, because his family is like killed in some sort of attack similar-ish to 9-11. I'm sorry Andrew Dupin and Stephen Sadek are here. I just realized we never introduced you guys. Andrew Dupin and Sadek, yes. From We Hate Movies. Yes.

[00:06:23] We're thrilled to have you on. Thank you very much. It's real to be here. And we're going to talk about Total Recon. Total Recon. We're doing it. We're talking. We're jumping straight into it.

[00:06:32] You just said like a brutal Arnie, but this is about as brutal as Arnie gets. Like the Verhoeven. Anything can get. Yeah. This movie, I mean it's just, I've thrown out this quote already in the couple of Verhoeven

[00:06:47] films we've already covered that he always claims he doesn't understand why people think his violence is so over the top. He goes like, I'm the only one who's showing violence as it is. There he is.

[00:07:00] And you watch this movie and A, no blood has ever looked like the blood in Total Recon. Sure. It literally looks like strawberry syrup, right? Every time it's thick, it's like goopy. I love it. It's bright red. It comes out in arcs. It's fling. It's flinging blood, man.

[00:07:13] I think that he's got. It's like Splatoon or something. It's like artisanal squibs that he's using. Yes. Dutch squibs that his brother made. They don't look like American squids. No, it's like a hundred bucks a squib. Yeah, so expensive. He's like the Pollock of fake blood. You know?

[00:07:28] He's really like, and the arcs of where the blood goes, how it moves, the speed it moves at, but then also just like the moment. And it hits the crescendo. I know what you're referencing. The arm of the chair. The arm of the chair with the screw.

[00:07:40] Oh, God, yes. And then he just puts that in the guy's face for a second. Which is essentially. You just see it for a hot second. Right, it's like a reprisal. It's like an encore of the current Spodacher. Yeah. Information spike. Final move.

[00:07:53] But that's like the denouement of the movie. And in this, it's like that's a random grudge. It's like Scientist 4. It's like one of seven kills in that minute. It's ridiculous though, because it gets to the point of like almost superpower.

[00:08:06] Like there's no way just Arnold can do that to a guy. That's like Jason Vorhe's shit. Right. Like that screw arm of the chair or whatever it is goes like through this dude's skull like from the bottom of the chin with such ease. It's not even sharp.

[00:08:19] It's a blunt. It's a blunt. Yes. It's basically one of those long Ikea things that's like integral to the chair. You know, you put it at the end. It's like, how does this even a fit, but it fits like a little greasy. Yeah.

[00:08:33] Just came out of the box. Those things also they're kind of tricky because you look at the design and you look at the instructions and you're like, I don't think I need to put this on. Right. And then you don't skip it.

[00:08:42] And you're like, I'm not sitting on this chair right. Arnold is making people into Malin in this movie. Like, I swear to God. Yes. Well, that's that's the interesting thing about this movie too is I feel like out of the American English language studio system for Hoven

[00:08:56] movies, this is weirdly the most sincere. Like every other Hoven movie is kind of eating its own tail and commenting on the tropes of the genre and all of that deconstructing it. Right. But this does that by the design of the movie because when you get to this

[00:09:14] point of like, there's no way this guy could kill people in that way. That's the central question this movie keeps on coming back to. Yeah. That he's having fun with, which is like. Is it a dream? Right. It's a movie like this because it's a Paul Verhoeven movie.

[00:09:27] Paul Verhoeven is just gold member. Right. Yeah, it's it's gold member. Yeah. Is this movie like this because it's a Paul Verhoeven movie or is this movie like this because it's about a guy who thinks he's in a Paul Verhoeven movie?

[00:09:39] Which is interesting though, because that's one of the reasons I think they said Dan O'Bannon, who was one of the writers on this, hated this because he excised all of his satire in favor of Arnold violence and smashing things because he didn't think that Arnold

[00:09:55] could do the stuff that the original script was calling for. Yeah, because it's definitely it's a lot less verbally satirical than Robocop. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Which is more overtly comedic and deliberately. I mean, you know who the original star was attached to the Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shussett.

[00:10:11] Richard Dreyfus? Richard Dreyfus. Right. That just sort of makes sense though. But that's a different movie. Right, exactly. And this was why when they announced that they were doing the total recall remake, I was like all four as long as you cast Paul Giamatti.

[00:10:23] Like there's room to remake this movie, the cast of Shlub and play that side of it. They couldn't cast Colin Farrell from the lobster. That would have worked. Right, right. He's kind of fat. He's kind of fat.

[00:10:34] But that's the problem is like in the story, it's like a real everyman, as far away from action heroes you can get who gets thrust into this. Right. And Verhoeven went the complete opposite direction, which is like cast the

[00:10:44] most obvious action star and have that lead into the question. Well, is it a ruse that this guy ever was presenting himself as a construction worker because clearly he's the star of an action movie. Right.

[00:10:56] He looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger or is that the wish fulfillment element of it? So there was like a way to make a more literal adaptation of the original story, but then it's just a fucking Len Wiseman movie with Colin Farrell looking great.

[00:11:07] I mean getting Len Wiseman on board was probably mistake number one. No offense to Lenny, but yeah. God, now I'm just picturing Paul Giamatti in total recall. Right, wouldn't be good. Get these papal air, Co-Hagan. God damn it, Co-Hagan. Good Giamatti. Great Giamatti. I would love that though.

[00:11:23] Oh fuck, yes. That would be great. But like I could give you a list of 20 people who would have been interesting in a total recall remake and even from like a serious and you go like what if it was like Paul Dana at that point? Yeah.

[00:11:33] You know what if it's like a serious like... It's Paul Dana and he works in an office and he's bored rather than he's like a blue collar guy or whatever. Right. But it's the same basic take. You know, I played Charlie Hunnam versus King Arthur Charlie Hunnam. Exactly.

[00:11:45] You can surprise us. It can be like a she's all that where he takes off the glasses and you're like oh my god this guy. So yeah. Originally it was a dry fist picture and it was more of a satire. But this is the problem.

[00:11:57] You give Arnold Schwarzenegger hopes and desires and that's not something. You know what I mean? Like his hopes and desires should be either meeting out justice or whatever his robotic brain tells him to do. Right. Kind of... Yes. Or finding any to be difficult because he loves himself.

[00:12:11] Best at playing a robot. Yes. I mean obviously. And he's never been able to read on screen as a real long term thinker. You know like Arnold Schwarzenegger is always very immediate objective based. I love Arnold on the video screen in this movie. Yes.

[00:12:30] I do love spy Arnold. I want to meet that Arnold. He's like how you doing buddy? You know like he's 90% of the way to being like a real person in those. I think that's closer than really him.

[00:12:41] It's like we're going to go fuck at the Ronnie Cox's house. You know what I mean? Like that's what Arnold wants to do. Right. Ronnie Cox through surprise. Arnold and Ronnie Cox. Must have been a nightmare in this movie.

[00:12:51] Also it doesn't make any sense though that he's unhappy in this situation. No. He looks like fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger and he's married to Sharon Snow. And did you see that apartment? What are we talking about?

[00:13:01] That is my biggest problem with the whole movie is that he's married to Sharon Stone. So you're like what you like what drudgery is he a skater? He should have been married to Paul G. Mautier. You know, Jesus. That's how you set it up.

[00:13:13] No, but that's the thing like because of this. And like Sharon Stone is just mind-blowingly attractive in this movie. It's insane. It's peak. It's like the peak. She looks wonderful. She's also really good. She's great at this movie. And this is the star making performance.

[00:13:29] I love the term and dime stuff she does. This was her breakthrough that leads to her getting cast in basic instinct which makes her a massive movie star. I mean she'd been in something hadn't she like no, no, I don't want to look at her filmography.

[00:13:40] What did she bring it? Hey, police academy four citizens on patrol. I'm sorry that was her breakthrough. Correct. Was she romantic Bobcat in that one? No, I think that was David Spade. Oh nice. David Spade or romance Bobcat? You know apart from that not much.

[00:13:54] She was in King Solomon's Mines. Yeah. Oh sure. That was one of the Indiana Jones try. Is it Richard Chamberlain in that movie? Yes, that's right. And she was in the sequel Alan quarter made in the lost city of gold.

[00:14:05] I had not seen those movies and she was in something called cold steel. All right. Anyway, I'm done. So yeah. So this is a movie Dan O'Bannon and Ron Chussett. You sit you know the alien guys. Yes. They get the rights from the living man Philip K Dick.

[00:14:22] He was still alive at one point in time. This was before he was dreaming of electric sheet. Exactly. We can remember for you wholesale and they write the script. There's a documentary I remember like outlining the entire development process from the old DVD.

[00:14:37] I don't know if it's on the Blu-ray still, but the two of them talk extensively about the fact that they read the story. Right. And Philip K Dick was starting to get adapted more and they were like this would be a great one. Yeah.

[00:14:47] And it was literally like two dudes who bought the rights for like $15,000. Yeah, they went over to Philip K Dick and they were like wow. It was like still kind of like a home-spun kind of like scene where you could like find a good short story.

[00:14:58] Put together some money from uncle and they made total recall t-shirts and they just spent like eight years trying to get people to make this movie. So Dino Dilarentis gets involved, which is often a bad sentence. You don't want Dino to get involved maybe.

[00:15:14] The epitome of borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. Exactly. Three steps behind financially all of the time. Yes, of course. I'll produce your movie. Yes, my niece needs to be in it. It's always like, you know, here meets Samantha Dilarentis. Yeah, she's going to be.

[00:15:30] So Richard Dreyfus is attached. He's fully attached. It's bonkers. And then he drops out whatever. He wins an Oscar. What is the timeline here? Because there's one... This is like the early 80s because there's a bit of info that I know about them writing this movie.

[00:15:45] That's like a cinema blessing. They're writing it and they were like, this is going to be really crazy with all the effects and the sets and everything. And they didn't think that movie production was capable of it at the time. So they stopped for a bit.

[00:15:59] And in the meanwhile, they wrote Alien. So like... That actually makes sense. That's right. What luck. I mean, it's crazy when you hear those things. Alien was like an exercise to get themselves out of like writer's block or like limitations at the time. Yeah, that's crazy.

[00:16:16] Because they also worked on Dark Star and Anno Bannon at least. They were like sci-fi guys. So they were pushing the bleeding edge. So the Dreyfus thing must have been early, right? Because if it's right after he wins his Oscar, he wins early 80s.

[00:16:29] He wins for the Good Boy Girl, which is 87... Oh no, sorry, 77. Right. Yeah. He looks like he's 52 in the Good Boy Girl. And he was the youngest best actor winner until Adrian Brody. He's got great beard. He looks older than Roy Scheider in John. He actually does.

[00:16:50] Roy Scheider looks like an old football in that movie. You really... That's Griffin's sweet spot, old football baby. All right. At one point the movie is going to be made Bruce Beresford. The great Bruce. Tender mercies. Yeah, driving Miss Daisy. Yeah.

[00:17:08] He's going to make it with Patrick Swayze maybe. Okay. Yeah. And he's kind of the bridge between Dreyfus and Schwarzenegger. Right. He's sort of the midpoint, that evolutionary chart. Yes, that's accurate. The man is starting to gain some posture. The abs are taking shape is the idea.

[00:17:26] He's losing hair. Definitely. Right. Body hair, yeah. But eventually Cronenberg gets attached. Right. And he's the one who comes up with Quaddoh. Of course. That checks. Which is the least surprising news in the world. What are there was a weird little old man baby inside someone's chest?

[00:17:44] It's the best part of the movie. Ben loves Quaddoh. Producer Ben loves Quaddoh. Producer Ben loves Quaddoh. Producer Ben loves Quaddoh. He's going to do all the names. The banduser loves Quaddoh. I do. You also love Gummo. What about Guadal? What about Guadal? No, I don't like Guadal.

[00:17:56] Guano? Guano though? Yeah, okay. Producer Ben likes to go Blado. That's right. That's true. Okay, fine. He's drunk right now. He is a fuck master. I don't know if you guys know that. No idea. He's also our finest film critic. He's a poet laureate, he's a tie breaker.

[00:18:12] He's a dirt bike banger, he has a birthday banné. He's not Professor Crispy. And this is a rumor that circulates and I just have to bat it down. It's not true. It's not true. And I'm not... You know, we've done like 130 episodes. You've batted it down.

[00:18:25] I don't know. It keeps on bubbling up. Fine, fine, carry on please. Skip the subject. There's no truth to this rumor. He's graduated certain titles over the course of different miniseries. Such as Kylo Ben, producer Ben Kenobi, Ben Aichamelon, Ben Saites,

[00:18:37] Benny Thang, Ailey Benz with a dollar sign, Warhaw's, Perduer Bain, and Ben 19, the fennel maker. That's right. I wonder what your Verhoeven name will be. We'll get to it. I'm here as well. I'm excited to discuss the little man baby, some like baby man. You fuck with Quaddall.

[00:18:56] Oh for sure. Definitely. So Cronenberg works on this movie. He claims he did 12 drafts of it. Okay. And then finally the studio said, this is the Philip K. Dick story. And he was like, yeah, isn't that what we were doing?

[00:19:09] And they were like, no, we want like Indiana Jones goes to Mars. And he was like, you know what? I don't know that we're going to make this movie. So he drops out, Dune comes out, and Dilarentus, that flops, and Dilarentus is like, fuck it,

[00:19:21] I'm not making some weird Mars movie. Like no, it's not going to happen. So then Schwarzenegger swoops in. He comes in first and persuades to buy the rights for $3 million. And he says, I'll take a $10 million salary, which is low for him. Wow. Yeah.

[00:19:40] And I have veto power over everything. Director, producer, screenwriter, like everything. This was really his first big blind checkmode. So he picks Verhoeven because he liked RoboCup. When can you start? Exactly. Yeah. And Gary Goldman, who's the guy who wrote Big Trouble in Little China,

[00:19:57] he comes in and he writes the final screenplay. So he's credited to. And Verhoeven. He gave you the whole story. There you go. He shot it in Mexico City, the whole thing. That's cool. Crazy budget. Like $60 million, something like that, which is a lot for 1990, man. Yeah.

[00:20:12] 1989 making it. Yeah, totally. It's beautiful looking. Every shot has something interesting in it. Amazing. Like shoe on for a while. Good, this movie still looks. It looks awesome. This movie looks so good. Very vapor wave. Very vapor wave. Just want to put that out there.

[00:20:26] It's got a great score. It's got a great Jerry Goldsmith score, which I love. He said this was like one of his favorites. Yeah. Which is crazy for me. Yeah. Motherfucker. Don't get angry at him. He's dead, right? Oh, he's long dead. Long dead, okay.

[00:20:40] If you give me over a year, you're long dead. Yeah, no. He's long dead. You're right. He died a while ago. Delarise long dead. You're really hitting the day so that people can figure it out.

[00:20:51] I'm trying to do the news of the day so people can figure it out. Jerry Goldsmith died 13 years ago. Yeah, that's long dead. Can I call what I think his last movie was? Oh, shit. Well, let me find... Go ahead. Do you have it pulled up?

[00:21:03] You're going to guess right now. I'm not going to give me a second. All right, go ahead. I think it's Learitunes back in action. You are correct. Wow. However, little side note, Star Trek Nemesis. His Star Trek Nemesis score is the year before. So Learitunes is 0-3.

[00:21:20] He had a score for Timeline. Timeline? The Richard Donner movie, which you guys certainly could. It's on there. We got in trouble for making fun of Paul Walker once right before he died. No, no, no, no. We made the jokes and then he died.

[00:21:34] Oh, don't do not worry about Paul Walker. He's doing just fine. And then he did not do just fine. Yeah, it was like a year and a half before the death. You know, we'll have people like last week, like, guys, they find out what didn't play. Right.

[00:21:48] That Paul Walker joke. And I was like, you know, this show has been on the air for a better part of a decade. Anyway, he wrote a score for Timeline that was rejected. You do not reject Jerry Goldsmith. And Brian Tyler did the final score.

[00:22:01] Now no shade to Brian Tyler, but come on. Someone's a legend in that sense. Someone is. Yeah. I mean, I think Brian Tyler is your guy where you're like, Jerry Goldsmith just sent like a bunch of, you know, chords. Brian, we got a week. Timeline's about time travel.

[00:22:17] He's like, sure, I'll whip something up. He just sent me a packaged copy of the Gremlin soundtrack. He crossed out Gremlins and wrote Timeline. Oh no, it's a dinosaur. Roar. Oh wow, that was impressive.

[00:22:37] Do you know he quotes his own Gremlin theme in Loon Toons Back in Action? No, you clearly know the Looney Tunes score inside and out. It's a good score. There's a moment in the film where they're trying to pick which car to take.

[00:22:49] And I think Bugs has taken the good car and Daffy and Brenna Frazier left taking a gremlin. What a trio. They got to take a gremlin and they were like, I'm left with this car and then the score plays. Wow, I bet that really played for eight people.

[00:23:04] I went to a midnight screening of Looney Tunes Back in Action. Back when it was like for real midnight? Like there weren't no 7 p.m. screening. I saw a 12 a.m. screening of Looney Tunes Back in Action on a Friday night. What age was that movie for?

[00:23:18] Like what was the right age for that movie? I'm going to tell you, it was the age of the person who saw it at midnight. 14-year-old Griffin Newman. That sounds about right.

[00:23:27] It must have been pretty cool putting your feet up on the seat in front of you in the empty theater. What was the crowd like, do you remember? Me, my two friends Oliver and Louie. I remember a couple being there who made out through most of the movie.

[00:23:39] Check out. They had fun. I think that might have been it. Did you like it? Did you walk out and you were like four stars? Yeah, sure. Yeah, it's a fucking masterpiece. Jodonte rules. Total recall. Total recall.

[00:23:52] So they make total, he picks, because I guess he tested for, or no he wouldn't test for Robocop, but he was considered for Robocop and he was like too big, like essentially. So they were like, all right, but he liked Robocop. He says, Paul, make this movie.

[00:24:05] And Paul's like, I'll make it. And he's like, that's great. They gave me so much money. My brother has scripts from other movies. And this feels like Verhoeven really like testing out a lot of new special effects technology. You know, this movie is a real sandbox for him.

[00:24:22] These little effects are incredible. Insane. There's so many corners and every five minutes of the movie turns a corner and you see something visually, whoa, holy shit. And also the plot goes, whoa, holy shit. And you're just like, okay, and you kind of keep going on this,

[00:24:33] in this crazy ride by the end of it, is it a dream, is it or not? It's just like, I don't know how I got here. You gotta roll with this movie. This is not a movie where you put your foot down

[00:24:41] and you're like, this is what this movie is like at the beginning. No. Because by the end of it, no. This movie tracks. And it's weird because I own it. I owned it on DVD before I upgraded to Blu-ray. Nice. I had a great transfer, a gentleman's transfer.

[00:24:57] Looks good. But I was rewatching it and I was like, oh, I don't think I've watched this in full in like 15 years. But I feel like I crack out the disc like two or three times a year just to watch certain scenes

[00:25:10] because I am so in love with the aesthetics of this movie. Yeah. I honestly once or twice a year. Get ready for a surprise. I'm putting the disc just to rewatch the exploding head gag. It's awesome. Because it is, I think this is my favorite

[00:25:25] practical effects movie ever. I love animatronics. And this is like peak animatronics. Well, it's because it's kind of the end of animatronics. So they really got a lot of close. It's the perfected the art before they start like kicking it out. Right.

[00:25:37] That and like model building for exterior. Oh God. Which was like the last time they did this. And who knows how many years. I'm sure they've done it since then. But for a long stretch, it was like not enough computers. And like matte paintings.

[00:25:50] The alien artifact, the weird giant column things. And even the CG, like the X-ray scene. Which is like one of the biggest CG scenes at the time. It was like this is the breakthrough in CG. I think I read some article about that where they were like,

[00:26:05] that took forever. Yeah, it took like a year for that. It's kind of useless too. It's not like Jar Jar Binks walking around. It's literally like we just want to add something to the shot where it's kind of cool how we find the heat. Right.

[00:26:17] But it also still looks good because the thing that Verhoeven gets, and I think it's a sign of good filmmakers, is the movies that age the best are the ones where they don't try to be literal minded or like awesome in depicting the future.

[00:26:32] They take a strong stylistic stance. I also just love the future. Like there's no, we don't start with like it is 2084. No. Like bloody, bloody, bloody. No, he's just like, I always wanted to go to Mars and she's like Mars. And you're just like, right.

[00:26:45] I guess people go to Mars here. Right. You start the movie on Mars. The opening shots are on Mars. You start the movie on Mars. Yeah. They won up that with her line though because she's like Mars. Why don't we go on that Saturn cruise? Fucking Saturn cruise.

[00:26:57] Everyone talks about this Saturn cruise. I'm like, can we have a Saturn sequel? Yeah. Because the Recall Guy too is like you really want to do Saturn. Yeah, it's upselling Saturn. What's weird because like, I was trying to like,

[00:27:09] while watching it, I kept on going like what is Mars analogous to in our culture? Like is it kind of like Long Island where it's like you have the Hamptons and it's really ritzy but also like a lot of its Long Island. Sure.

[00:27:22] Because it's got like real highs and lows. Like there's a real elite kind of like come to Mars rarefied air. It's band-dialed up, right? Where it's like, right, you can live on another planet in the absolute lap of luxury but there are these mutants.

[00:27:34] So you're gonna have to look at them. I will say this movie doesn't give you enough. I mean, there's so much of this movie anyway but like I do want to see fancy Mars. We never see fancy Mars. We don't see a lot of fancy Mars.

[00:27:44] You see the Hilton a lot. Yeah, you do. Which is a nice looking Hilton. Sure. The only in and around the Hilton. Right. But the Mars shit doesn't make any sense. Because like it's like basically a big room, there's a tunnel and cars to drive through the people.

[00:27:59] Like there's no streets, you know, the cabs just kind of weave around. But that's what's kind of charming about it though. It's kind of cute. It's not perfect. It's still shitty. Which I feel like in reality is what would happen when we eventually start colonizing Mars.

[00:28:11] It's like, well it's only 2084. It's still kind of shit. We built like three neighborhoods. Yeah, exactly. One of them is really bad. Yeah. Don't go there. Two or three bad. The cars should just kind of figure it out. I don't know.

[00:28:26] But I feel like if we ever got to see Cohegan's party, that's where like the coke fucking is. Yes. It was just Ronny Cox's party. We're really besmirching Ronny Cox's name. Maybe he was a nice man. I just realized this movie is kind of

[00:28:39] a critic proof and criticism proof. Because you go like, well the Mars stuff doesn't really make sense. It's like, yeah, but is that the point? It's like... It's all a dream. Right. It's all written by the recall people. Not us. Yeah. Yeah. So this movie starts on Mars.

[00:28:58] Does. Straight up starts with a beautiful like fucking John Ford Vista of Mars. And these cool spacesuits. And then Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sure. Who I will never... We know him, we love him. I will never not be shocked by the first close-up

[00:29:14] of Arnold Schwarzenegger in an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. Doesn't matter how many times you've seen it. Yeah, you're just like, that's a fucking mountain. That's a big man. Even just his head is like carved like... It's the architecture of him is so bizarre. So yeah, so we're post twins.

[00:29:29] Yeah. We're post twins. This is the same year as kindergarten cop. Okay, so he's fully in comedy zone. Yeah. Very much so. Because red heat is the same year as twins. Which is also kind of a funny movie. Yeah, he's hanging with the Belouche. Well put.

[00:29:42] And then of course next year is Terminator 2. Wow. This movie was a huge hit and kindergarten cop is a pretty big hit. So it's sort of like, you know, this is... He's at his peak. Yeah. And annoyingly there is comedy in Terminator 2. There is.

[00:29:55] You don't like the comedy in Terminator 2? Not especially. I got my favorite comedy of all time. I love that movie but man when they're like telling jokes, I need the vacation. No you don't! You're a robot. That's dumb. Why do you know what a vacation is? That's true.

[00:30:10] The vacation line. They could have cut that. That's fine. The thing is with this, the first thing in this movie, you do you wake up next to Sharon Stone. I mean you're an Adonis. You're Aron Schwarzenegger. Right. And you say that you were dreaming about somebody else

[00:30:24] and she's just like kind of more okay with it than not but still pissed off. Doesn't he say like I had the dream again and she goes like... The brunette? With the brunette there? They've talked several times. They seem to have a nice, you know,

[00:30:38] relationship with a lot of communication. That's the thing. It's like what the fuck is this guy complaining about? He opens up to her about dreaming about other women. His job is that he stands next to Robert Costanzo and just goes like this with a jackhammer for all day.

[00:30:53] And for how heightened and stylized and over the top this movie is, there is no moment more extreme than Aron Schwarzenegger with the jackhammer. Yes, it's intense. It is insane. Her hoven has never come up with a more subversive image

[00:31:06] in his entire career than just a glistening Aron Schwarzenegger. He looks more inhuman than Tony at that point. It's insane. Like, it's just like what are you talking about? I also just love that he's like jackhammering and he's like, hey, Harry, you know what? I'm going to recall.

[00:31:19] And he's like, why... This is construction zone. Everyone's flat. No one can hear each other. Why would they be talking right now? Hey, you heard of that? Recall. And he acts like he's just one of the boys that he looks the same as Harry.

[00:31:31] Robert Costanzo who is a perfect sphere covered in hair. I love Robert Costanzo. I just love looking at him. He's an egg you rolled along the floor of a barber shop. Yes. That's perfect. But then you just have Arnold there,

[00:31:50] Jackhammering going like, ah, the old nine to five grind. I would love it if he like jumped on top of a Brontosaurus. It's very flimsy. It's very flimsy. It's very flimsy. What is a trillion? It's just a hole. It's just a giant hole. Yes.

[00:32:08] But he's just got kind of a malaise. He's not even depressed. His life isn't bad. He's just in like a midlife crisis. This is why the GMO is really selling me this. That's the noise. So and he on the subway, which is full of CRT TV.

[00:32:25] He sees an ad for Recall, which is a great. It's a classic Philip K. Dick idea. Like who wants to actually go to Mars? But you can think it went to Mars. It'll be great. And that's I mean, that's a thing Verhoeven really nailed in this movie,

[00:32:40] which he nailed in Robocop. He has a bigger budget to do it here. Like the ad like. What's just the omnipresence of screens? Yeah. How personalized and sort of conversational. Everything is the ads, the newscasters. There's that great design of the TV in his kitchen dining room wall.

[00:33:01] Oh, right. Turns into like the windows. Yeah. I also like the phones, the weird little phones with the like the thing you push. Oh, he has a little like like slap. Like fold up. Yeah. Well, that was still like when people in this time were like, you know,

[00:33:16] in the future we're going to love video conferencing. Right. Yeah. FaceTime is fucking miserable. It's a miserable experience. Everybody. For the most part, home David's pretending to do FaceTime. We also be walking in the street like this. Are you fucking crazy? I can't stand it.

[00:33:32] I can't stand it. That is, that's nuts. Anyway, people do crazy things. It's like taking a picture with your iPad. That's the other thing. You know, people who are like, oh yeah, you'll get that. My phone broke when I was at Disney World. Congratulations.

[00:33:45] I was, hey, I'll admit it's a humble brag, but my phone broke. How did it break? It just like died. I was doing the iOS update the day before I got on the plane and then it wouldn't finish. And it was stuck on the load screen.

[00:34:01] And when it would run out of battery reset, it would do the same thing. And it would never finish the iOS update. Oh my God. So it was like a total brick and it took me four days to get an appointment at the Apple store in Orlando.

[00:34:11] So for four days, like I was going there to talk about it for the podcast to do an Avatar Land episode. So I wanted to get pictures and shit. And I was the doofus walking around Avatar Land with a full iPad taking photos online. Wow.

[00:34:25] I had no idea. And everyone kept on giving me love. Because we haven't recorded that episode yet. No. Well, you know. Months ago. Yes they did. You're in like a larger than life space. You need a larger than life device to take pictures of it.

[00:34:38] I mean look, it's the floating mountains of Pandora. People are astonished by me with an iPad. When you do went high. When you use an iPad, you have to like drape yourself on a cloak. Like you're like a deadwood photographer. That's the only way you can do it.

[00:34:57] It all still will be done in two minutes. Me and Monty Montgomery walking around. Monty Montgomery, good shout out. Total recall. So he goes to recall. Oh yeah. But I was just going to say this movie very early on sets up the sort of like

[00:35:12] it's a friendly screen culture. And it's also a very consumerist culture. But the advertising, everyone's like fine with all the advertising. They're fine with all the products around the brand seem really friendly. Like everybody accepted like, but it's so nice. Like I'm fine with all of this.

[00:35:29] It's a nicer future sci-fi world than what RoboCops sets up. Yes, right. But it also pushes it even further though. Like where capitalism is literally selling you your air. Which is a great idea. Yeah, it's an awesome idea. Right. And selling you your reality.

[00:35:43] They can now just sell you a better life so you can be content living your shitty life. Being married to Sharon Stone. Being a perfect looking man with a great apartment. Yeah.

[00:35:55] And then you have the whole thing where he's excavating a tomb on the way or whatever the hell you do. I think it's some sort of mummy excavation. They just don't talk about it, but that's what's going on. That was left out from earlier drafts.

[00:36:05] You get to be best friends with Robert Costanzo, which is cool. His life is perfect. Yes. It's pretty perfect. Yes. Robert Costanzo is the Sharon Stone of best friends. No question. Sorry. I should have said that faster. Anyway carry on.

[00:36:19] So he sees this ad and he's on the hook. Go to recall. And immediately is like, look, I'm all about Mars. I keep on having this Mars dream. I love brunettes. I love that guy. Right. Who is he? That guy's funny. The recall salesman. He's good.

[00:36:33] He's on point. I think that's John Cho in the sequel, but like a bleach blonde John Cho. That's cool. Yeah. That's a rad. I think the kids like that. I watched the first like 15 minutes of that movie and fell asleep. It just looks so boring.

[00:36:49] I own it on DVD because it was a trivia prize. I've never watched it. Oh yeah. That's, I feel what happens with 90% of trivia prizes. Yeah. They go unused. I haven't watched the Loraxi either. It's just sitting there.

[00:37:01] We became good friends through this trivia night that we go to. Oh, no, get our video in Brooklyn. Oh yeah, of course. And for a long time the prize was you could pick a DVD from the show. And the DVDs that were offered as prizes.

[00:37:13] It was the ones they wanted to get rid of. It was like. They had too many copies. Old new releases. So things that were new releases four to six months ago when they needed six copies of it, but now they only need two.

[00:37:24] Well you can never have enough copies of the Lorax though. That's what it was though. I mean I think I had. It's an eye grabbing cover. It's all orange, big mustache. We were very good at trivia and we win a lot.

[00:37:35] And at a certain point the bit would be like, humble wreck, the bit would be are we just going to start collecting multiple copies of the same moves? Sure. Because I think someone on our team got like five copies of Dark of the Moon. Oh yeah, sure.

[00:37:48] They had a lot of dark of the moon. They had a lot of that. Eep. Yeah. All right. This is Arnold's favorite scene in the movie by the way. That's what he said was this scene with him and whoever they got. And the Jackhammer?

[00:37:58] No, the guy, the recall scene where he's talking to this guy and it's like kind of comedic and I think that's to your point. Sure. Like that's what he's trying to, he's like I can do comedy or I guess, right? It's like a fun new toy to him.

[00:38:08] Like he's like I can make jokes, you know? He's like enjoying that. I'm trying to, I think it's. And there's the good comedy here too, which I think he plays pretty well of him sort of

[00:38:18] now he's being sedated and he's trying to give his answers about his picadillos while like being kind of drugged and foggy. Yeah. And this woman's sort of prodding. That's your thing. You know what? He kind of nails that delivery of the, what's it?

[00:38:31] I forget, debauched and demure but it's not those words. Right. You know, yes. But you know what he cannot get out fast enough is when she's like orientation and he's like hetero. Yes.

[00:38:43] But I will say for this, for this movie's credit like for being in 1990 where a lot of like really awful jokes would be there. Yes. There's no joke there. Yeah, that's true. And there's no joke later when he's dressed like a lady.

[00:38:56] It's not like, it's not dude looks like a lady. That's true. And he wears it well. He does. He keeps it on for a good chunk of time. He does. And you know we'll get to the moment where he places a towel on his head. Yeah.

[00:39:09] But they never actually call it out. They're waiting for them to say the joke. It's a soft psychic rather than a hard psychic. It's a soft psychic rather than a thing they keep underlining. Yeah, sure.

[00:39:18] The other thing I was going to say is but they manage this pretty well which I want to give Verhoeven credit for. But this feels like it's at the peak of like Arnold has complete creative control.

[00:39:30] He gets final approval over everything even if he's hiring the director who he wants to make decisions. He's like by the way every woman in the movie needs to want to F6. Because there's the thing with the woman at the recall who keeps on like making

[00:39:42] passes of him. Every woman who looks at him in the movie has an extended reaction shot where they like eat him up with their eyes and then make some comments. Even that doctor in putting him in the chair when he says hetero she looks like fucking thank God.

[00:39:57] Right, right, she has that moment. Kind of a big glass is the doctor. I thought it was Sally Jesse Raphael. She's got a real Sally Jesse Raphael look. There is no question. On earth three Robert Costanzo made this movie and everyone wanted to have sex with him.

[00:40:10] Like feel or just like oh my God that's fucking Robert Costanzo. The thing I like is that all that barbershop hair. The thing I like in this movie is that every time someone reacts like that to him he just kind of shrugs it off. Yeah, yeah.

[00:40:23] He is Robert Costanzo. He's like why don't these women want to have sex with me? He has a German accent? I'm working on it. That would be if you looked in the mirror and he did look like Robert Costanzo but like everyone else sees it. Oh shit.

[00:40:35] You're talking like a classic down to earth. Yeah, like heaven can wait. There you go. All right. All right. Okay, so they try to recall and he wakes up because he wants to burn out and important to know the girl from the dream.

[00:40:49] They immediately load Rachel to code it like immediately actress in the dream. Right? Right. It's a different person but on the screen. The image on the screen is Rachel to code it. Which is one of the few moments where the movie gives you like a very hard

[00:41:04] wink tip in one direction or the other. Because it's pretty comfortable being ambiguous for the rest of the movie. I think he's not really interested in ever answering this question. Right. It's not fucking inception where he's asking you to look for the clues. Sure.

[00:41:19] Like the movie's about that uncertainty. Agreed, yeah. The way they handle the thing getting botched is really great too because you don't see it start. Right. You're in the middle of it. You know, you can just picture that right where it's like it's the close-up on his head

[00:41:33] and the device is like, ah, ah, ah, ah, you know, and it's like flipping out. That's what's beautiful is technically the thing fucks up before it even got started or doesn't. Right. Or did it. Or did it. Right. But they don't do any crazy cutting.

[00:41:47] There are no visual tricks. The scene plays out normally and suddenly they're like, ah fuck, the machine isn't working. Yeah. The secretary. Well, it's no. It's also the doctor saying like we hit a mental cap. So she's saying this guy's memory has already been erased. Right.

[00:42:02] And so the guys like fuck it. Just erase his memory. We'll just bundle him out of here. Yeah. No, he never came here. Like we got it. But the entire notion of his memory already being erased plays into this idea that he's the secret agent.

[00:42:15] Yeah, that he's Houser. Right. Right. Yeah. So yes. So from this moment, the idea set up that he went to live out this fantasy, that he's going to be a secret agent on Mars trying to save the people.

[00:42:26] But the machine broke and now it turns out that perhaps he was a secret agent on Mars, right? Whose memory has been erased. What are the odds? The central gambit of the. Right.

[00:42:39] And I guess, yeah, I guess if you want to believe that this is all for real, which is you can certainly believe it's like it's in there somewhere. So when he sees the recall ad, he's like, Mars. Yes, I want to go to Mars.

[00:42:52] Like, because I'm from Mars. It's almost like that's why he's having the dream. Something is pushing him to try to go find the place. Right. So part of Ronnie Cox's incredibly Machiavellian plan that he gets. Like, are you serious? You're really playing this really close to the chest.

[00:43:07] Not to jump ahead, but when Ronnie Cox lays out the whole plan and he's like, it makes, that's the most fucking insane Quince dental. And Ronnie Cox is like, I know, it was really complicated. And it didn't kind of, kind of didn't work.

[00:43:18] I love this is a movie where characters keep on coming in and trying to take credit for the movie we've been watching. By the way, this is my thing. You know, David, we've been doing these ads recently. Yeah.

[00:43:29] And I think our listeners like the ads, but we have gotten like some complaints from the advertisers that I, the characters that keep on appearing for ad reads are kind of out of date references. That's true. Yes, they do tend to come from around 2002. Right.

[00:43:45] They want to appeal to like millennials. I don't know what we can do. If not, that's not a reference base. You want to get that or let me, okay. Oh my God. David, it's a wild Snorlax from Pokemon. Oh, snorlax snorlax. David, it's swiping at me.

[00:44:02] We got to get this thing to sleep. What can we do? Well, I mean, this is a Pokemon, but I mean, what's that behind the mini fridge right there? Right behind it obscured entirely by the mini fridge. Perfectly.

[00:44:14] I barely made out a corner is a mattress that's been designed for humans by humans. Now this is a Pokemon, but I think it's going to be okay because Casper mattresses are cleverly designed to mimic your curves providing supportive comfort. He's got a lot of cards.

[00:44:28] He's got major curves and you spend a 30 year life sleeping. You should be comfortable. You say you snorlax is more like I'm going to put the mattress drag it out under him while you're saying this. Well, these say it in a hush tone like a lullaby. All right.

[00:44:40] Well, these are these are original Casper mattresses combined multiple supportive memory phones for quality sleep service. You write amount of both sink and bounce baby. You know, it's average of 4.8 stars across review sites like Amazon and Google and Casper.com. It's the internet's favorite mattress.

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[00:45:13] And it's affordable because they cut out the middleman. They ship it straight to you. It looks like snorlax is almost asleep, but I heard that the thing that pushes him over the edge is when he hears about personal experience with the product. I've got a Casper mattress.

[00:45:24] I sleep on it every night. Oh my God. And I could have returned it if I wasn't satisfied, but it's great free shipping in the U.S. and Canada and I've held onto my Casper just like this snorlax will get it. He's fallen into the deepest slumber imaginable.

[00:45:39] Well, you can be sure of your purchase with Casper's hundred night risk-free sleep on it trial. When you promote code. Well, so you go to casper.com slash check. And if you use check cash out, you can get $50 towards select mattresses terms and conditions do apply.

[00:45:58] Look at it. Oh my God. He's he's out. He's completely out now we can just now we can just continue with this episode. But let me just yelling about total recall. If we you can get $50 towards any select mattresses by

[00:46:11] visiting casper.com slash check and using check it. Check out check a check out terms and conditions apply. All right, well done. That'll get that'll get the millennials. So how long is this 20 minutes of screen time like this sort of intro?

[00:46:27] Yeah, because after this is like every scene. It's like here comes Robert Costanz or he's like, how are you doing buddy? I'm going to kill you. You know every scene is like this. Yes. And then they just maybe like the 15 minute mark and they go

[00:46:38] like just put him in a Johnny cab and they put him in a cab driven by robot Robert Picardo, right? Which is that something else. Right. And they built it to look like him, which is one of these things where like in a post justice league world where

[00:46:50] the movie like the screenplay has only finished like six months after the movie finishes shooting. Yeah. You know, yeah, to be like in pre production, they were like this is the voice actor. We're going to hire Robo team to make a robot.

[00:47:04] We're going to make it look like this guy. You guys are Star Trek fans, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. But also that they modeled it after him that they didn't just hire someone later that like the amount of preparation like movies used to require fourth thought.

[00:47:18] Like you could do it. But even still like you could just make a dummy and have its mouth be able to move and then hire whoever. Later the fuck ever you want. Right. You know, it doesn't have to match the actor that's

[00:47:29] doing the voice but they're like no, no, no, no, this is going to be Robert Picardo. I want a Robert Picardo type. It's kind of like it's like if Robert Picardo was turned into a Don Knotts influence. That's what this thing looks like.

[00:47:41] It's a robot Dylan Baker is what it is. Interesting. Yeah, that's sort of. Yeah. And he does have like the very kind of classical like Disney Hall of Presidents movie. Yeah. Smiling and joking. And just the weird kind of rotations like to stay animated.

[00:47:58] And he doesn't really work because he's just like just drive and he's like I don't know that destination. But the design is so good with the light up visor on his little tabby hat. It's what two scenes? Like it doesn't matter but it's great. So good.

[00:48:12] All those little ideas are so good. And that's the area where like you look at this movie and it's like God, they had a lot of fucking money to work with like any idea they had they were just like yeah, we'll give you default resources.

[00:48:21] You need to realize that with like the most talented artists at the peak of this like sub industry. Is this Johnny Cab set up? Are they all designed so that if you skip out on the fair, it's head explodes and crashes into a wall?

[00:48:34] Because I don't understand why that happens in this movie. It's a lot of damage done in the chasing of fall fair. Not only will we lose the twenty dollars on the fair, we'll lose the whole fucking cab. A hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

[00:48:47] You might take out the fair jumper in the process and that's one less criminal on the streets. That's fair. It's a harsh world, the world at the end of the twenty eighty four. A firmware update on those Johnny Cabs is one glitch

[00:48:58] I'm thinking of that I would love to correct. And it's like also they turn eyes into ease. You know, when you do like self-check out and like fuck stuff, that's how trigger happy Johnny Cab is. Are you not paying me? You trying to welch on me?

[00:49:13] Look, Bob, I gotta give you some credit in terms of customer interaction relations. In terms of looking like Robert Picardo. Unbelievable. Good job. Great likeness, good animatronics, good bedside manner. In terms of not exploding when someone tries to get out of the cab without paying

[00:49:30] a thing that happens a lot in major cities on any planet. So he kills poor old Costanzo. He does. And all his friends. This is where you realize that this is because you kind of,

[00:49:43] at least for me rewatching, I hadn't rewatched it in full and really long time. You forget that it's as verhoveny as it is. And then when he takes out these four dudes and like chests are exploding.

[00:49:54] Like he shoots that one guy through the back and that guy's chest just explodes from the front. Like I was like, oh yeah. Oh, it's this kind of movie. And also no nice to see you. No slow bill. No, no. Immediately he gets back.

[00:50:09] Hey, how was that recall? What? I don't remember. Fucking heads being ripped off. Rather than like a 10 minute scene of like him sort of being like, what recall? He's just like, yeah, yeah. The fucking recall is a gun. He almost a guy in his dick explodes.

[00:50:25] Like the whole thing is just like so huge. There's also a moment I love where I think he's got the two guys on his back and he throws them back. And when he throws them the wall of the set vibrates.

[00:50:34] And it doesn't even feel like a Tor Johnson like plan nine mistake. It's like that's how powerful Arnold Schwarzenegger is. Oh sure. Or we're in a spy thriller. It's like this is so hyper real that he can make the wall shape. Yeah, Robert Costanzo's throat gets crushed.

[00:50:51] He's just stepping on his throat. Oh, it's brutal. It is brutal tomorrow when he calls out of work when he goes to Mars. Six people have to lift up that jackhammer and then they're using it. That's a real bummer for that whole project.

[00:51:03] They have to stand on each other's shoulders just to reach the handles. Yeah, it's tough. And then he goes to see his wife and she attacks him too. Yes. She looks amazing. She's in her like workout. No, she's doing her hollow tennis. That's what she's doing.

[00:51:20] Which is so wee. It's very wee. He really called it. And she's like it's all made up. I'm an agent monitoring you. I guess the ruse is just up. Why is the ruse up? Because he just killed people.

[00:51:34] I guess Michael Ironside has already contacted her at this point. He's coming. So her job is to keep him there. So Ironside and his boys. Right, right, right. Michael Ironside, a guy who, imagine if he was born 10 years earlier or 10 years later. He wouldn't have had a career.

[00:51:51] But that was the right face and more specifically the right name for that genre in that decade. You know? His real name is Frederick Ironside. He made up Michael. That's right! Ironside is real. Michael isn't? Michael Ironside is an acclaimed Canadian actor. Freddie Ironside sells you shitty cars.

[00:52:16] Hey, I'm sorry. You need the siding. You need the Ironside. The Freddie's Ironside. Your car got dinked up. Go talk to Freddie Ironside. Michael Ironside has beaten two forms of cancer. He is a method actor. So he stays in character on set. Oh, Jesus.

[00:52:35] Was he in character in that Canadian horror movie we did? Visiting hours. Oh my Lord, you ever seen that with William Shatner? I know. I'm looking at it now. A feminist journalist becomes the target of a serial killer. Okay. A feminist journalist is in the movies like,

[00:52:50] look at this fucking feminist. Like that's how it's portrayed. He's a dude. He's like a leather daddy serial killer. It's awesome boy. This sounds great. Michael Ironside is really good. Probably the best actor at not closing his mouth. He uses that to his advantage all of the time.

[00:53:07] Great call. That's a really good call. Do you want to know something crazy about Michael Ironside? He was Jester and Top Gun. Correct. Do you know how Michael Ironside beat cancer both of those times? He strangled it to death. He played a person who didn't have cancer.

[00:53:21] He's such a good method actor. That's how good an actor he is, right? He could cure cancer if he could make us all. He went to his agent and he went, find me a script. Any script as long as they don't have cancer.

[00:53:34] That's funny though because the cancer Ironside and Schwarzenegger, did you see the story about this on the set of the movie? Arnold one day notices right that between takes Ironside is making all these phone calls and they appear to be like serious phone calls.

[00:53:48] One day he goes up to them and he's like, hey man what's going on with all these phone calls? I mean that's not how he said it. No. Why are you on the fucking phone? This is my movie. You're paying for those calls.

[00:53:59] Until Michael Ironside reveals that he's on the phone with his sister who has cancer. So Arnold says come with me into this room. If you want to live. Or if your sister wants to live, come with me in this room. Well cancer jokes.

[00:54:13] And they got on a call for three hours and he advised her on exercises that she should be doing and her nutrition to help her while she's battling the cancer. Arnold Schwarzenegger is fucking great. That actually might be how Michael Ironside beat cancer.

[00:54:28] Maybe he was just taking notes. Saved him for later. Well Michael Ironside's a hero to us all I guess you know. And Cronenberg, speaking of Cronenberg cancer. Yeah, Scanners. Scanners. That was like his first role practically right? He's fucking awesome. Brilliant movie. Scanners is.

[00:54:45] This is the only movie where Michael Ironside kind of gets the girl right? Like he locked it down with Sharon Stone. Yes, he locked it down. They do crazy like roleplay shit where she marries someone else for six months and he's in it the whole time.

[00:54:59] She's having sex with Arnold Schwarzenegger thinking about Michael Ironside. With that hair line? I mean come on. But that is Michael Ironside's fetish is being cut by Schwarzenegger. Yeah, and it finally came through on this movie. It finally happened.

[00:55:14] You think he was reading the script and he's like wait so who's playing this guy? Oh it's Arnold huh? Oh and I would be this guy. Oh you don't say. Oh and what happens in this? Oh.

[00:55:24] Originally they were offered the opposite role and Ironside was like is there any way I can be cut by Arnold? And they're almost like you don't want to be a star? No, this is really like a specific thing for me.

[00:55:38] We've said a lot of stuff about Michael Ironside. We have. Some true some not. All true by my irons. But he's after Arnie in this movie. He's got a leather jacket. No leather daddy. It's not leather daddy.

[00:55:50] Do you remember when Mick G was like trying so hard to convince everyone that he was a cool badass director on Terminator Salvation? Which he says. Ironside's in that.

[00:56:03] That was the thing I was going to say was like he did that as such a clear move to be like look I hired Ironside, I know all the cool stuff. Yeah. I just wanted to say an interview with him where he was like you know James Cameron

[00:56:14] did Piranha 2 before he made Terminator. Oh no. Like he was trying to be like my first four movies. So maybe We Are Marshall is my Piranha 2? That's what he was kind of arguing. Didn't Mick G do those Charlie's Angels movies? He did. We Are Marshall. Yes.

[00:56:32] Is that it? He did those two. We Are Marshall he did. He did the Bare Naked Ladies One Week video. That is true. I think he did the offspring pre-fly for a White Guy video as well. Oh wow, that would check out. The Criterion released those packages?

[00:56:48] Yes, you are correct. Yeah, it was just like the BC Boys collection they have the same thing but it was two videos. He also did All Star. Smash Maffs. Smash Maffs. Smash Maffs. Oh my God. For the movie Mystery Man. Sure.

[00:57:00] And we were talking about it off mic. Yes. And then he made this means war. Right. And then Hollywood was like Mick G one more try. Like he gave him another fucking check after that. But here the crazier thing is, 2003 he was supposed to direct Superman. Yes.

[00:57:16] Yes, right. He was fly by or whatever. This close to doing it and the reason that he got pushed off the project and the project got shut down was only, do you know this? I don't know.

[00:57:25] The only reason that movie didn't come to fruition is that Warner Brothers who had just done the Matrix sequels in Australia and saved a lot of money doing that. Oh I did know this.

[00:57:33] Demanded that the movie be moved to Australia and Mick G is afraid of planes and refused to get on a plane. He's afraid of flying. Like John Madden type. Yeah. That's crazy. And they shut the whole movie down. Mick G it's a go picture, $200 million budget.

[00:57:46] You're all set to go. All you have to do is get on a plane and he walked away. Was that Superman Returns or was there something totally different? That's what Superman Returns is what came up after that got shut down and they went back to the drawing board.

[00:57:58] So totally different screen probably. I wanna call Bullshit on Mick G because this is in his personal life and it mentions the thing you just said. He's unable to board a plane going to Australia to shoot Superman fly by. Get on a boat. You're gonna direct Superman. Motherfucker.

[00:58:12] He did VR Marshall. He's like, see? See? I forgot about that but it's a plane crash movie. He and actress Bridget Moynihan dated for a time after meeting on an airplane. Oh my. This fucking guy. Maybe that's why he's afraid of planes now.

[00:58:31] Bridget just frightened the shit out of him. They had a bad breakup on a plane. All right. Let's keep moving to the next thing. He's insane that those two facts are both on his Wikipedia. Those are the two facts one after the other.

[00:58:45] So he puts towel on his head. Because he wants to obscure their tracking signal. And then he takes the tracking device out and it's awesome. Some stuntman calls him. He's like, hey, I'm your best buddy and this is the only way to do it is to put

[00:58:58] a wet towel on your head will obscure this incredibly complex brain implant. Also here's a suitcase. Yes. Come down right away. And then this woman. This is awesome. It's just like, this is my fucking suitcase.

[00:59:11] This is the one moment where he gets a little into the old Detroit Robocop zone of just the world as a hellhole. Yes, totally. Or it's like you can't leave a good suitcase on a street corner for five seconds without some old lady claiming that it's hers.

[00:59:23] Also it's a world where an old lady will tell you to go fuck yourself. Yes. She's very aggressive. But he gets the suitcase from this body who said, you told me to do this. Right. And how is this dude not in the movie again? I know.

[00:59:36] It's very weird. Because I didn't really remember. It's been a really long time since I watched this and I was like, all right. So that guy is clearly going to be someone who like rips a mask off. Yeah. And it's a known person.

[00:59:47] I had the same thing where when that guy showed up on screen, I was like, huh, that's a weirdly unknown actor for what's clearly one of the lead roles in this movie. Like I must have forgotten that he's one of the five leads. Yeah, exactly.

[00:59:58] And then he never appears again for the rest of the movie. The guy helping Arnold Schwarzenegger is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Right. Because Arnold is his own best-seen partner. He is. He's great. Hey, buddy, I need you to put this thing in your nose.

[01:00:11] He gets to a spot that looks like the sort of warehouse where Louis and Murphy hide out in Robocop. I feel like it looks very similar. Yeah, Robocop. Right. And he opens up the suitcase. He's got all the... It's a born suitcase. Gives him a watch.

[01:00:25] You know, it's got fake IDs. It's got money. It's got... Red money because it's Mars money. Yeah, baby. Mars bucks. Yes, Mars bucks. Totally. He's got an electronic nose picker. I love that. The animatronic thing is the weird face. And he's got a robot face.

[01:00:40] Right, he's got a TV screen with this video from Arnold telling him like, look, I knew this was going to happen. You're the one guy who can take this whole thing down. It's all in your mind, but I knew they were going to wipe your memory.

[01:00:51] So if you're watching this, that's what happened. Here are the things you need to do. Number one, get that tracking device out of your head. Sticks it up his nose. They go to this amazing robot, Arnold, with this like crazy extreme paint expression. And this is where it's...

[01:01:05] I feel it's another clue that this is just all in his head because this like elastic nostril that happens, like he would... He's pulling this thing out. It's so horrific. It's like a fucking billiard ball. You know, like he'd just tear that nostril.

[01:01:19] And instead he just turns into rubber face for a second. And his eyes are like bulging out of his head. Yeah, and you can see the light of it, like through the eye socket.

[01:01:26] But I even think in a lot of the scenes where it is an animatronic head, like Arnold's doing a lot of face acting. When he's in pain in this movie. He's in his like cool, neutral...

[01:01:37] Yeah, when he's in the recall chair, he has to do a lot of like, Which he does well and he does it with a real lack of embarrassment. Which is like impressive for Star That Big. Those are the noises a lion can make and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[01:01:49] They belong in like the museum of noises. Like I don't know how any human being can go, I can't do it. But everything in this movie is like a 12 in that kind of way.

[01:01:59] And if he has to like pick a thing out of his nose, it's like out of 12. But what I don't understand and I've never been able to crack it about this movie is like, It doesn't feel out of place. No.

[01:02:10] Like all of these ridiculous rubber faces are in this movie and you're like, yep. But that's also, that's like the fucking thing this movie is wrestling with is like, Is that the point that it all feels like a crazy movie? Yeah.

[01:02:21] Because you just think about the fact that like the amount of time and money they had to spend to build the rubber head to pull the thing out of his nose when they could have just gone like,

[01:02:28] Okay, so Arnold you're going to stick your finger up your nose. You're going to make some pain faces and then you're going to pull with it. Right, a thing. It's Christmas light. Like oh there it is. But they wanted that like bulbous like. Yeah.

[01:02:39] That's what I love about this movie. Yes. I spend $10,000 when $100,000 will do. Exactly. He tests out the hologram, Chekhov's hologram. Hologram pretty good. It does take him a while to use that thing. But it's great.

[01:02:53] It's like there's that old maxim and improv that like the moment you want to do a callback is like the moment after the audience has forgotten about it. You want to wait until right. Yeah.

[01:03:05] They don't remember the original thing so you can bring it back and blow their mind and this movie you totally forget about the fucking hologram. Totally do. Because it's been over an hour and he hasn't used it once.

[01:03:15] But you have this shoot out, he's really impressed with it. Okay, I got a hologram. Let me slap that on my wrist. And then he puts the tracking device in the chocolate bar for the rat and goes on the run.

[01:03:25] And Michael Ironside and his boys come in and just will not stop shooting at these people. Oh man. It goes on for like two minutes. There's nothing there. The space is fairly well lit, all considerate.

[01:03:37] It's his second bald villain now that I'm thinking about it who won't stop shooting at people. Right. Like right after Kurt Witt-Smith. This is his thing is villains look like your friend's dad. Yeah, it's really true.

[01:03:49] But yeah, they just won't stop shooting and the guy with the monitor keeps on going like oh no I'm sorry there. And pointing on the ground where there's clearly no one. Excuse me, I'm all the way in the back. I don't mean to be a dick.

[01:04:02] When you say there, do you mean that empty space that I'm looking at? Because I can see an empty space right there. I didn't say we're not on the other side of a wall. We're looking all in the same area here. So now he's on the run.

[01:04:14] He goes to Mars. He goes right to Mars. He goes to the Mars port. He goes to Mars, meets Benny. It's like hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. We're cut over the best moment of this entire movie. Okay, go ahead. The head, the fake out, the disguise.

[01:04:26] Oh you're right. Of course that's before Benny. Yes, yes, yes, sorry, sorry, sorry. He's going through customs at Mars. I forgot that of course it's a custom. Or rather a Margo Martindale type is going through customs on Mars. Oh bravo. The Margo Martindale of her day.

[01:04:40] Who is it? I don't know. Do you know? I'm gonna look it up. She's really good in this. Yeah. This is a tough part to play. This is what kept me out of this movie for a few weeks. Because I was like a coward as a kid.

[01:04:51] Like I wouldn't watch horror movies. And this is kind of a horror scene. It's very upsetting. And this is like very much like what Verhoeven does. Like why not have horror where there shouldn't be horror? You know what I mean?

[01:05:01] Like this is, it could again, it could be a fun like mission impossible gag. He just takes off a mask. Right. But he removes her head. And not only that but the moment when she starts malfunctioning. And like stuttering and saying it's self awareness on her face.

[01:05:13] That's terrifying. That's the scary part. Her name is Priscilla Allen. That feels like something out of a David Lynch movie. She's pulling at the sides of her mouth. Yes. Six feet tall and apparently the grand dung of San Diego theater. Wow. According to her obituary. RIP. RIP.

[01:05:31] But that is the cool thing is you can tell that she's the same size as our friend. She's big. She's big. She's big. She's built like a line back. Two weeks. Right, right. She comes. Two weeks. Nails to the living. Right. Priscilla. Thank you, your cast.

[01:05:49] Please send us your sizes. But then they ask a follow up question about fruits and vegetables. Right. You touch any livestock. She throws out the two weeks again but with that haunting self awareness of oh fuck I'm saying the wrong thing. Meanwhile, right.

[01:06:05] Michael Irons says there he's talking to Mark Alemou. He's talking to Goldicat from D Space Nine who plays the other guy. Right and he's like look I'm the lead villain in this movie. Here's a scene where I have a monologue. Let me do this monologue. He's disrupted.

[01:06:18] This is my big moment. I want to kill this guy. Why is this extra in the background talking so loudly? Goldicat's like well we don't know where he is and he's like what's this over here?

[01:06:27] And I thought they tease it up for so long like the elevator doors are like closed. Like he's going to be out of there. He turns back to look at this woman like seven times. Is that? No. Well you know I should just check.

[01:06:40] I'm going to regret it now if I don't just check. Well he didn't want to hear any more Bajoran slurs from Goldicat. He's just like literally tired of it. Like dude could you get off the Bajoran shit? That is making me very uncomfortable.

[01:06:52] We get it dude you think they're all terrorists. It does though like it helps that this movie never sets up this technology. And that you don't have any sequence of Arnold getting into disguise. That's what I love. Like on the run the rat with the tracking device.

[01:07:08] It's just a woman going through and you're like maybe this is just how we enter this scene. Through some random day player. Even if you think it's Arnold you don't think it'll be revealed by him sort of like splitting his head apart in sections.

[01:07:19] And like throwing it at someone then it's a bomb that announces that it's a bomb. Once a year I will throw in the disc at least and literally just go to this sequence and go frame by frame. Because the way the thing breaks apart is stunning.

[01:07:33] And the lack of visible seams before because usually movies like this you can tell when it cuts to something that's now going to be an effect shot.

[01:07:41] You know there's a shift in plasticity of their skin or whatever as you go like okay something weird is about to happen. Like in the opening when his eyes start bugging out on Mars you can tell that cut from oh here's real Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[01:07:54] Here's animatronic Arnold Schwarzenegger because now there's effect that needs to happen. It's a cartoon when you see the broom Mickey's going to grab because it's not part of the background.

[01:08:03] But this is just such a graceful like okay she's there she's nailing this performance of the freak out right. Then she starts like reaching for her ear then we go to the one fake robot head that's the one with the ear that extends.

[01:08:15] Built a whole head just for that one shot right and then the wig flies off. And then we go to the second head with this horrifying expression. And then it just kind of like cascades out over his head. The Arnold underneath looks weird.

[01:08:30] Yes, I think it's great anyway but yeah it looks totally weird. It's great you buy it at this point because like the whole thing is so bizarre. Yeah well this is the other there's two why did we make a head here?

[01:08:39] This is one and then sometimes when Kwado when what the great actor who plays him like why isn't it just on like why did we have to make a fake head for that too?

[01:08:48] I question that as well because in the Arnold moment with the cascading head it's clearly a real person's arms that are lifting up the head. Yes, I wonder if it was just something about they needed an operator there rather than Arnold himself doing it.

[01:09:03] If it was something about the physics of the positioning that it was always going to be someone else's arms behind or whatever it was. With the Kwado one I always question that and I watch very closely this time. I think the entire body is a puppet.

[01:09:17] When you look at the way the arms are moving too, I think it's just full stop a puppet with some guy behind it with a thousand rods. That probably makes more sense than just putting like a shirt on this guy essentially a puppet shirt.

[01:09:29] But it is one of those things where it's like it's baked into the cake of the movie where all of this works for it when you have these weird like effect heads that are meant to just do one thing and are stuck in some bizarre pained expression.

[01:09:41] It somehow just plays into the effect of this movie being like all super hyper cranked up. You love this effect? I loved it. I love it.

[01:09:51] I remember reading some special effects or it might even been Empire magazine or something did a list of like the 50 best special effects of all time and they put this as number two, I think. Wow. What was number one?

[01:10:04] Behind the moment in the thing where the spider legs come out. Oh. It just still doesn't fucking make sense how they did that. It's amazing. Yeah. That whole sequence is amazing. But the defibrillator is going through the chest and then the chest is a mouth that bites him.

[01:10:19] It's my favorite thing in the world. It's like two nightmares. These two movies from here are the ones where like the physics of how they get the animatronics to do that shit in one continuous shot without edits. Because I'm like American werewolf in London, which is rad.

[01:10:32] The whole game is there are a thousand cuts. Yes. And each dummy is just set up to do one thing. Right. But when it's able to do like two things, I lose my mind.

[01:10:41] I thought you were going to say number one was Kermit and Piggy riding that tandem bike and great muppet k-4. That should be fucking up there. That thing is stoning. That's a mystery man. I cry every time I see that. It's amazing.

[01:10:51] It's because like the emotional value of the shot like who gives a shot? I love the Muppets. That shot doesn't really mean anything. Yeah. It's just Jim Hansen showing off. That shot is just a fucking mic drop. I want to see it really, really.

[01:11:02] And the crazy thing is in the Muppet movie he does it with just Kermit riding the bike and you're like that's it. That's the peak of filmmaking. You're never going to be able to top that.

[01:11:08] And then four years later Jim Hansen is like hold my beer for a second. Hey man I'll put two on a bike. The fucking electric mayhem are on bikes and everyone's on a fun, they built a bike for crazy Harry. He's like fifth tier. All right. It's beautiful.

[01:11:22] It's great. Can we get to Benny? Okay so he throws his head. Get ready for a surprise. Great. And explodes and now he's on the ride. Runs off to the red light district, Venusville. Right. Two cab drivers are competing for him.

[01:11:35] But he goes with Benny because Benny's got five kids to feed. Got five kids to feed. Mel Johnson Jr. Turn off your phone. It's not my phone, it's my iPad. This is the thing you always complain about. We're going to take our picture.

[01:11:46] Look at how this is going to blow up. What are you doing with that cloak? God, he just got like 400 text messages. I'm blowing up. So Benny is great. What do you guys think of Benny? Mel Johnson Jr. Don't know him at all.

[01:12:01] I kind of kept being like, is he the guy? No he's not. I've never seen him do anything. He did barely anything. He's kind of great. He is great. He's really great in this one role.

[01:12:09] You know he hasn't done anything because if you look at the first sentence of that IMDb bio, it's best known for playing Benny in Total Recall. That's always a bummer when you get to a buzz. It's true.

[01:12:22] Like the guy in Attack of the Clones who's famous for saying, this is a crisis. According to his IMDb page. Not Ornstreeta, Masimeda. We were trying to, I think he's Masimeda. He's like the blue guy. He's the blue with the sort of tendrils. He's got like point tendrils.

[01:12:40] He's not a Jedi, he's like a senator or something. Oh right, right, right. Right. And there he is. We were trying to describe him to someone and David was like, Oh that guy. He's like the devil. He's like the fun devil. He's pretty. He's that fun devil. Yeah.

[01:12:54] David was trying to describe him to somebody and he was like, Togethered, yeah. Right, togethered. And you were like, he's the guy who has that line. And then we looked him up and his IMDb bio was just most known for saying the line. This is a crisis.

[01:13:06] It's like the only line he has as far as I know. I'm sure at cons he like signs every headshot. This is a crisis. Explanation point. What he definitely doesn't tell anybody is that it was probably dubbed by someone. That was my delivery. Yeah, it's all me. 100%.

[01:13:20] Mel Johnson Jr. plays Benny. Benny has a cab and then you got Malina. Uh-huh. Rachel Dakota. Rachel Dakota. Who's Gautana's sister. Right. Oh, that's Mortal Kombat we're thinking of. Fuck. Benny takes him to this very nice Hilton and they give him a security box,

[01:13:40] a safe deposit box that inside of it just has this folded up flyer for a gentleman's club. Sure. That tells him to go find her. He does a really interesting thing right here where he, I don't remember what the word is, but he writes the word out.

[01:13:56] And is like, oh, it's in the same handwriting. That's me. Yes, he writes her name. Yeah. It's such an awesome moment. Just like that little detail and that's scuzzy like counter guys checking out. Does the counter guy turn him in at any point?

[01:14:09] Cause this guy who's playing this Hilton attendant is looking very suspiciously at him cause like he doesn't know to put his thumb on the thing to access. Right. He's like looking at this guy. He's looking at him like write the name down or whatever.

[01:14:22] I don't think he does anything. He's like writing more as he used to be a regular customer. Right. He's weirded out by this guy not knowing anything. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Cause he immediately knows who he is. Yeah. He calls him by his proper name. He's like Mr. Hauser.

[01:14:37] Do you want the usual suite? All that stuff. Right. All that sort of stuff. Of course. So fun fact about Mars, it's full of mutants. Full of mutants. When people first got there, they hadn't really worked out the air system. Yeah.

[01:14:52] A lot of people were kind of the guinea pigs. Definitely don't want to be the first guy on Mars. No. Absolutely. You want to be like the 10,000th guy. Yeah. Exactly. Definitely everything's fine. Cool. Yeah. I'm not a pioneer. I'm a tourist man.

[01:15:05] I'm not looking to turn any heads. Right. It's like you want to wait for like the third iPhone. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. I remember when the iPhone came out and I was like I'll buy one when it has enough storage to replace my iPod. Right.

[01:15:16] Cause back then you had to have two. You had to have both. Yep. And I was like I'll wait until then. All these dumb early Mars adopters end up with dumb faces and psychic abilities. And they spend so much more money than we are paying. I know.

[01:15:28] Yeah, that's true. Yes. Very true. One of them is Dean Norris by the way. Really? Yeah. I think he's the one with this sort of one eye and like the... The fold face? Yeah. Fold face. That's Dean Norris. Fold face is Dean Norris? Yeah.

[01:15:44] Who then I guess it's implied as the dot father and husband of the woman and girl who we see in the alleyway. I think he may also be the leader of the freaks. Yeah, I think he's kind of... He's kind of like... That's been a good role. Doctor.

[01:15:57] Freak? Yeah. Now I want to double check that I'm right. He gets a lot of screen time. We learn which is very important that almost for some reason bad news is you have a fold on your face. Good news is you're psychic for no reason. All of them.

[01:16:09] Wow, that is him. Geez. They're all psychic and that's kind of where Ronnie Cox's insane plan has to come from. Right. They're psychic and they will understand a fake if you try and put them through. Right.

[01:16:22] Because yeah, there's this mower who's walking through and I don't know like sort of sneaks a peek at this woman and then she turns her face and the other half of her face is blag. Yeah.

[01:16:31] And then she sort of says like, and look into your future this and that, but it feels like... Is that like a sexual thing or what she's talking about? But then the girl comes up and it's like, no, this is literally like... Yeah. One sort of like...

[01:16:44] What's the word I'm looking for? They're like homeless people who have this one thing they can monetize. Sure. Like they're living on the streets, but they can use their psychic abilities to tourists. What's great about that moment though is she's like, oh, you're a tourist or

[01:16:59] whatever it is. How did you know? And then I believe he just gives her a handful of earth pennies. Yeah. He gives you some cash, but yeah. Which they are red. So he's being culturally aware. He did take the right currency. He picked the red of the coins.

[01:17:14] Because I'd love that if she was like, what am I going to do with this? You cheap scumbag. Throw him into the folds of her father's face. Wow. These freaks are really aggressive here. Do you think Dean Norse has an eye under there and he just has to

[01:17:27] like kind of like... Oh gosh. Yeah, guaranteed. That's just like a big piece of roast beef on his face. And he's flipping it up. You know, you just showed us the picture of him in the movie. He looks like a sunburned elephant man.

[01:17:38] Yeah, like that's the makeup job. I think that's why the mutants look so scary is that it's so pink. It's so like unnaturally pink. It's very wet too. It's a wet look. Yeah, it's a wet look. I love wet stuff. Ben likes wet stuff in movies.

[01:17:52] Ben checks out for me. That's a great thing to say. In a wholly non-sexual way, Ben likes any movie where things are wet. Because you could tell they could have just been made it dry. That's crazy. But if you make shit, it's tough.

[01:18:05] It's tough and then it's like, it just looks better. It looks slicker. Things are slippery, it's shiny. He likes a good slick feeling. What about if you're like a real expert and you get that nice middle ground where things are moist? I feel okay about it.

[01:18:20] I feel okay about dampness. Do you like a dewy picture? I do like a dewy picture, but it's got to be early. It's early set early, you know. So it's like selling that kind of like a morning do. Yeah, they're wet. They're wet. They're all psychic.

[01:18:34] He goes to this club with a full face Norris. Yeah, T'Kotin's there and she's like, fuck you, you work for the other side. It's a cat house. At this point it's like an old west cat house. There's a three boob lady.

[01:18:46] Yes, infamously, which is like the one element they carried over to the remake. I remember in interviews they were going to be like, we had to have the three boob lady. You didn't have to do anything. Well, the three boob lady is famous. Well sure, it is America.

[01:18:59] You didn't have to make the movie. All of this choices. Do you think it was just studio guys like to recall? You're going to do the three boob lady? And they were like, yeah, sure. And he's like, great. I would love to see that in CG.

[01:19:14] You know, I mean, like the old school, the analog is not for me. It doesn't age so well to see that in CGI. Well, I want a good jiggle. It is weird that they're like, they're like very like firm. Yes. No, they don't look great. It's true.

[01:19:30] It's one of the prosthetic effects that doesn't, you know, Yeah. You look at it for a second and you're like, oh, those are plastic boobs. But that's okay. Yeah, totally fine. Because it means what that means is they made it and it wasn't great.

[01:19:41] And they were like, you know what? It's fine because otherwise if they look fantastic, that means hours and days and possibly weeks. We're like, no, no, the jiggle's kind of like that's sure, that's third 10. Those people on like who designed like the Dead or Alive

[01:19:56] video games is like there's like a guy whose whole job is the tits bouncing. What is this? His entire job is it's a program. The cleavage record. I told you I had veto power. Come back next week. This isn't right yet. Get it right.

[01:20:08] That's the other point, you know, is that if the boobs were too good, the movie would get completely derailed here because he has to turn her down. Yeah. And if they were three great boobs, he'd be like, you know what, give me a mulligan of like a mulligan.

[01:20:22] I believe Benny has the, I wish I had more hands or whatever line. Okay, Benny. Yeah, well, it's you know, two comedy points. Yeah, yeah, he gets two. Benny's throwing a lot of paprika on the sandwich at this point, which is another thing I like

[01:20:34] because I feel like Benny is like tiptoeing into being like Jesus Christ. This feels like a parody of a comic relief character. Right, yeah. Which he ends up kind of being. Yeah, right. Like it's a guy performally trying to be like.

[01:20:45] And then he's a parody of a villain. Like yeah, he's like suddenly like I'm gonna drill you to death. There's no subtlety in any corner of this movie. It's very aggro. Yes. It's very aggro at all times. But he finds Rachel to coat and who's very.

[01:20:56] She blows them off. Well, no, first she's excited. Yes, I guess so. And then she's like. Because he's not him and she's like, oh, right. Yeah, yeah. She thinks it's like her great love coming back. Yeah. And then he's in sort of detective mode.

[01:21:08] Well, doesn't she say something about like he's presumed dead? Yes. And you know, she's like, why wouldn't you send word that to me, you know, that you were still alive and whatever. And he's like, no baby, I promise I have no idea who you are. Right.

[01:21:23] I live on earth with a wife. Right. And then she's furious. Then she's furious. Yes, she's mad then. Right. Because it's like, oh, I was sleeping with this guy. She's like, oh, the wife, how long have you had the wife? Like, you know what I mean?

[01:21:33] It's that whole thing. Yes. That old story. Yeah, I know. And like right then is when the doctor shows up, right? I love that scene. It's right around then. Yes. Yeah. Roy Brock Smith. And he waits. I love that guy.

[01:21:47] It's a parody of like tech support in vanilla sky, which is many years. You know, like that thing. It is very similar. All right. You know, this is a dream. Hello. Like, you know, I am here to interrupt your dream. Yeah.

[01:21:58] I'm designed to look like a nerd before you make any cracks about my appearance. I'm wearing a tweed suit. Right. Like he's the second of, I think at least two Seinfeld bit actors in this movie. Well, Quotto. Quotto. Quotto Bell is the... The animatronic itself. Who was that?

[01:22:14] The puffy shirt. No, no, no. I think that guy was on Seinfeld though. Yes, he was. Oh, you mean Quotto or do you mean this guy? Because this guy was definitely on Seinfeld. This guy, the doctor was the landlord in that episode where he's like,

[01:22:27] oh yeah, Babs Kramer. What a whore that lady was. And Kramer really gets really pissed. And then the little person prostitute is... All right. Mickey's Love Interest in the stand. That's right. It does feel like... Fambolina she's called in this movie.

[01:22:41] There is a similar acting pitch for Seinfeld and Verhoeven films. It would make sense there's a common pool there because there's like a comedic pitch and a size. When night comes in, in basic instead. That's right. Yeah. You can turn on that too.

[01:22:57] Right, that was in Verhoeven was like, who's the sweatiest actor? In all of Hollywood. You're talking about a wet performance. Exactly. When night... I've met Christians who are not that sweaty.

[01:23:09] Speaking of sweaty actually, the whole crucial thing in this scene is the doctor and the bead of sweat. And that's the tell. And Sharon Stone comes in. She comes in, she's like, sweetie. And this is like performance on performance on performance.

[01:23:23] She's playing it like, look that encounter you had earlier was part of the simulation. That wasn't me. This is the real me. And then he goes to like, right, subjective first person camera.

[01:23:35] So you're like watching Sharon Stone look you, the audience member in the eyes be like, trust me. And you're like, that's a pretty good offer. And the sweat. And the sweat. There's also first person. Right, all that stuff.

[01:23:48] But for all you misogynists out there, he has to go red pill and go back. That's crazy. And it is like 10 years, what this is 1990 or 1990? Nine years before the... Yeah. I like that he spits the pill out too. Oh yeah.

[01:24:03] And they offer a similar explanation to the matrix thing where they're not like, oh, the red pill is going to like send you back to reality. They're like, the red pill will just calm your brain down. Right.

[01:24:12] And then when you're in the matrix, they're like, the pill will just like lower your senses a little bit so we can inject you. But but then this is like his hard, his hard turn is just like, fuck it. I'm staying here. Shoot that guy.

[01:24:24] Shoot to me the head. Two headshots man. The headshots in this movie. Yeah. Again, nice made up like smoldering your craters in their head. Yeah. Consider that a divorce. Right. Oh, great line. It's a great line.

[01:24:38] The weird IMDB trivia thing was apparently it tested, I think he says consider this a divorce and shoots her. But everyone was like, oh, that's too cold. But shooting her in the head and then saying, consider that a divorce. Like, oh, that's a bit warmer. Wow. Yeah.

[01:24:54] I can see that though, where it seems less premeditated if he says it afterwards. Right. And then Rachel Dakotin dunks on her as well. Yeah. She's like, that was your wife? Yeah. Like or whatever. Sharon Stone, you loser. Sharon Stone's her 1990. No, thank you. Yeah. Hard pass.

[01:25:10] It's also who shot first thing though, because she's definitely going for a gun. She's going for the gun. She's gone for the gun. She's got her, as she's talking, she's reaching for her back pocket gun.

[01:25:20] So we know at the very least that, well then this gets to the question. It's like, okay. So does that offer concrete proof that this is real? Because if it were Sharon Stone trying to communicate to him in the dream, she wouldn't have the gun.

[01:25:39] But the whole explanation they give of the pill is right now your brain is fighting this. No, it's a dream. Right. If you take the pill, your brain will give up and then we'll be able to pull you back.

[01:25:48] So his brain would want Sharon Stone to have a gun to allow him to continue living out this life. Well, and he also says that thing where he's like, if you kill me, you're going to go crazy. Yes. And the whole reality is not going to make sense.

[01:26:02] The whole thing he says basically happens. Yeah, the movie just gets even more bugged. Right. So it's like, because then the movie is like, it's an alien temple. It just sort of goes wilder.

[01:26:12] Well also like the second Sharon Stone hits the floor more or less, those dudes like break through that wall. Immediately. It's very like eternal sunshine. Like, oh now this crazy thing is happening. Like immediately. Like there's no response time.

[01:26:24] You made your choice and now there's another action sequence. Exactly. But then yes, it's true after this moment where he has this like choice to go back and accept reality, you know, leave this dream state as he's being told. Right. Go back just hang out with Robert Costanzo.

[01:26:39] Then aliens come into the picture because right now we're living in a world where Earth has conquered Mars and he's terraforming it practically. Humans have colonized Mars and there are no creatures on Mars. That's that.

[01:26:50] But now Ronnie Cox is revealing that there's this whole fucking technology that they don't understand that was there before they got there. With like the weird like Spock hands, you know, like you have to. Four fingered Mickey Mouse hand. Yeah.

[01:27:02] And there's when he's choosing his own adventure in the beginning, they're like, I think the people who are calling up his car to like two headed monsters on Mars that's new on me and they're like doing stuff for him. Right.

[01:27:12] And that's sort of where we go to anyway. Yes. Very much so. So when they escape, Ronnie Cox turns off the air. Yes. And they go meet Quadd. Those are the two things that happen. Yes. Fucking Quadd. This dude rules. He's great at that.

[01:27:27] He's got like a late night show, you know? Oh my God. Yeah. And then the host is the sidekick. Yeah, right. Good one, Quadd. You only need one chair. Cheap. Oh, it's so cheap. You know, it's a nice show. It's the chairs that really inflate the cost.

[01:27:43] Tough to get a good two shot though. This is a very like a crang in Ninja Turtles, which is one of the best things ever invented in comic books. Cranks pretty awesome. Crang in his human suit. His human suit is great. I feel so bad.

[01:27:59] He's always in a bathing suit. I feel so bad for Quadd because all he's trying to do is put Arnold at ease. Yeah. But he looks like Quadd. He's like, release your mind. I'm like, I'm going to throw up right now. You look really hard.

[01:28:12] The monster from basket case dude, I am not settling down at all. And a killer move. A killer move is in the casting and the direction of the vocal performance for Quadd himself. Yes. This guy delivers these lines like he's in long day's journey and tonight. He does.

[01:28:29] You know, like he's so honest. Yeah. Straight forward. He's kind of wistful. Wistful. A lot of integrity. Like there's no fucking genre in quotes acting. But I just... He's not playing the appearance at all. I just love it.

[01:28:41] It's literally like the guys like if you don't take the pill, you're going to go crazy. And he's like, no, I'm not taking the pill. I'm going to talk to this stomach person who's going to tell me that it's an alien artifact that's going to create breathable air.

[01:28:53] Well, and I... Like are we supposed to believe they built all of this shit and then forgot to turn it on or something? Right. Like why isn't it working already? Right. But there's also... I love animatronics as I've said, but the limitation was always

[01:29:05] that it was hard to get proper mouth movements for dialogue. Yeah. You get like the Ninja Turtles effect where it's just like lips kind of flapping generally. Right. And then words coming out. Yeah. But Quadd, they do this fucking thing because his mouth is kind

[01:29:20] of slanted at this weird angle. He's got this kind of like Stallone mouth. So it's all this like purred growl and like the lip movements fucking sync up well to what he's saying. He's got a tongue rattling around in there too, man.

[01:29:32] You know the detail on him and a couple of hairs. It's just like... Yeah. Because Quadd was like holding up in like fucking remastered HD close-ups. Totally. He does. You're right. He holds up on Blu-ray. Yeah. Kind of looks like Chucky. Yeah, he does look like Chucky.

[01:29:48] Yeah, a little bit. He's got a microwave. It looks like Quadd. And this is super fucking Cronenberg. Did they do it in the remake? Is there a Quadd? I don't know. I haven't seen the remake. I don't think there's a Quadd.

[01:29:58] The remake also, if I'm not mistaken, does not go to Mars. It doesn't go to Mars. It's something about the Earth. Oh, that's dude. I think that's Core. I think they go to China instead of Mars. Yes. I literally think that's what they do.

[01:30:07] That's what it is because Colin Farrell works in something where he takes a super fast elevator to like the core of the Earth. And then I was like, I have smoked way too much weed in Felisley. They go to the other side of the Earth.

[01:30:18] It was as far as I was hidden going to work. Right. So it's not like jackhammering, which is such a quaint job compared to I have to travel to the center of the Earth to mine or whatever the fuck is doing.

[01:30:29] They go to China and they're like, all this technology, it's almost as if people lived here before we got there. Maybe some other people lived here before we, the Americans, got to China. Some very marketable from a global worldwide gross perspective people. Yeah. Quaddou never, Quaddou gets killed.

[01:30:48] Yeah. Dies fast. Right when he's supposed to put on his space suit. I want him to because I need to know do they both need helmets or can he just like is now like it's one thing. Is he breathing the other guys air? Oh yeah.

[01:31:01] Because it does kind of feel. It would have been cute. It would have been really cute. That's a good Happy Meal toy. Yeah. Quaddou in the space suit. It does feel like they are two totally separate entities. You know, because there's that thing where like

[01:31:12] Ronnie Cox when he shows up kind of keeps identifying the human, the host body as Quaddou. Right. But it's like, no that dude's Quaddou this dude's like a vehicle. Does that guy, am I remembering right? He kind of like goes comatose when Quaddou's hanging.

[01:31:28] Yeah he's sort of like. Yeah he like glists his out Marshall Bell. It seems to take a lot out of him. There's only enough energy for one of them to be. I love the most only enough budget for one of them to be emoting at a time.

[01:31:40] The reveal though he's like alright, it's like a way as Quaddou and he's like, oh he's on his way and then immediately like turns around. I think he'd sound a little something. It's like the funniest fucking like what just unbutton your shirt.

[01:31:55] And also but like this steamy like Verhoeven over the slow unbuttoning shot. Like it's like the kind of shot he's going to repeat in like showgirls and basic instinct done to like a decent character actor. Yeah. Quaddou step uncrossing your legs. Quaddou is a good actor. Yeah.

[01:32:14] It's a shame he doesn't get more big work these days. He has a lot of good theater in New York. Is the voice some. Who did the voice of Quaddou? Yeah what's the name of the voice actor? I think Marshall Bell does both. Oh really? I believe that.

[01:32:25] That's cool. That's actually really impressive. I mean I took 101 at UCB with Quaddou. He was always like you, he did great monologues. Those were great but like a lot of just. You know what's the other thing I saw with Quaddou

[01:32:39] which is the thing no one ever gets credit for an improv. He, I saw him do a Herald once where he never came out during a scene. He just played support for everyone. Oh my god that's what I was saying. That's what I was saying.

[01:32:50] Like he didn't initiate or even come out for a single scene. He was just group games. I'm always the waiter. Quaddou loved to be the waiter. Right because he was just like I want to stand, I want to be the utility player on the back line

[01:33:00] looking for ways to plus the scene tie the thread. It's crazy though never on a Lloyd's team. Never on a Lloyd's team. Quaddou never made a Lloyd's team. Wow that is a deep cut man it's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while.

[01:33:11] Yo Quaddou's murder was upsetting to me for one reason because that puppet with a bullet in its head looks like a fucking dead baby. Yeah and it's just laying on that table like and you're like. Because when you have this adult voice coming out of it

[01:33:24] you're like buying into the illusion and then it looks like a fetus. Like suddenly it looks like a fetus. I never noticed before I was like oh that's upsetting. It's upsetting. But they have the mind meld. They do. They hold hands.

[01:33:38] I love the image of Swartz and you're having to grab Quaddou's little hands. I bet he loves Quaddou. You know have you listened to the commentary? Because like apparently every commentary he's ever done on any DVD he just describes every scene that's happening. Yes.

[01:33:51] Like he's just like this is the scene where I have to see Quaddou, he's like a guy in his body. You know like he just describes every scene. Well there was a big thing. And I'm sure he gets a kick out of Quaddou.

[01:34:00] You're the man on the Mac right now so you can Google this double check this. Man on the Mac. This was like one of the big early DVDs. You know because a lot of the early DVDs either like had

[01:34:11] no fucking special features or it was stuff ported over from like a laser dish special edition from 10 years earlier. I would say this had six DVDs. Like six different eras releases. But even from the first one they put a lot of shit on there

[01:34:22] and I believe they paid Arnold Schwarzenegger a million dollars to the commentary. Oh my god. I believe it was like a big stat at the time that it was like we're making big plays for DVDs. Commentaries are gonna be a big thing

[01:34:33] because the Lionsgate I think had the home video rights and paid him a million dollars to the commentary. I don't have that for you at least from Googling because there is just so many super cuts of his commentary. I think the total recall one though

[01:34:45] is the famous one that event like hit. That's the big one. Now this is, oh it's me and my best brother Robert Costan so this Jack Hamer wasn't that heavy. Oh he looks like an egg that you rolled. You look like a barbershop. We'll get to this later.

[01:35:00] I've never heard it but apparently the showgirl's commentary is Paul Verhoeven pointing out background extras and saying which ones he had sex with. No. Why are we doing this director right now? I don't know. It was your idea. Yup it was.

[01:35:16] He had something in this commentary where he talks about how he wanted Sharon Stone to get more naked in that opening scene and she wouldn't do it and then he quote got her back with basic instinct. The language he uses. That's what you want. Jesus Christ.

[01:35:36] Why are we doing this? I don't know. Let's get to Ronnie Cox. Yeah I'm a good man. So that's the whole scene. What's the name again? It's like a co-him. The whole scene we were talking about earlier

[01:35:44] where Ronnie Cox is like yeah I know it's all my idea and your idea. We came up with this crazy thing, scheme together. That's a prequel movie I want where it's just them in a room getting drunk. So much coke just in the mountain.

[01:35:56] We're like no it's gonna be fine. So here's what we do. Wipe your mind it goes. It goes. All your mind goes. Sharon Stone you want to marry her? Like you know like what kind of a job should you have? Iron Sonsic that's my wife.

[01:36:08] Shut up shut up shut up shut up. There's like the alternate perspective of this movie is that it's about Kohagin's like Heaven's Gate. This was his grandfather and he was like this is the great one. This is the one I'm going to be remembered for.

[01:36:23] All of this to figure out like who the fucking leader of the mutants is. Like it's like kill a bunch of mutants. Shoot him. Like how hard is Marshall Bells always there drinking beer. Like you know what I mean? Like round those people up open their shirts

[01:36:37] and be like that's Guadalajara. But of course we found out at this point that Benny's a turncoat. Yeah not this Benny. Not this Benny. Our Benny is constantly by our side but Benny the cab driver. Yeah he has four kids to feed. He's not even married.

[01:36:52] He's got one and he also is revealed at this point that he's a mutant. Yes yes. Right no first he reveals that he's a mutant and he's like I want to help you. But they're like you can't let this guy in. I like his arm.

[01:37:02] His arm is really great. It's like a crab person arm. Very unsettling people. And then he triple crosses. Then he's like actually I'm a mutant who's with Ronnie Crosby. And the triple crosses what he said, you kind of mentioned the line for a second

[01:37:16] but it's very odd because yeah he's at the start like oh I got five kids to feed while he says four. He'll hop into the fifth kid or whatever right. And then he has that line. I'm not even married. I'm not even married. It's like very odd thing.

[01:37:26] So that's twenty eighty-four. What are you talking about? He's got bars. Come on. This turncoat mutant would not have children out of wedlock. What? Stop. He's a Catholic turncoat. Yeah. He's still got values. He's got values. Yeah so there's this whole scene after the sort of conversation with

[01:37:46] Ronnie on the video screen. Uh huh. He's driving the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cars with the big drill on the front. Yes. To bring Crang back into this. You got to get back to the Technodrome. Exactly. Like you know that thing? Yes.

[01:37:59] I'm going to drill you with this. Maybe shoot him like with a gun. Definitely looks like something created by a toy company. Yes. And be like please write this into two episodes this season. And then Arnie kills him with a giant drill. He says screw you. Screw you.

[01:38:12] Screw you. Oh it's so good. One comedy point. It's a little sweaty. I give him five. Okay. That's generous. Sweaty Ben's cool with it. And then after that is when he finally kills Ironside. Right. It's a horrific deal. Oh god it's really good. It's Mikey.

[01:38:29] It's the elevator and he's holding on to his life. We had a good... And actually like I believe Ironsides can go like five rounds with Arnold. You know what I mean? I agree. He's a scrapper. That's the thing. He's not big but he's cutthroat.

[01:38:42] And you're just like this guy's got no quit in him. He's going to play dirty. If you try to punch him he will bite you because his mouth is open. That's why his mouth is always open. Exactly. That's a thing though.

[01:38:53] It's not necessarily that he's like super strong like Arnold. He just gets hard off of pain and feeling pain. Right. Not giving out the pain but feeling it. Like yeah fucking kick me in the balls dude. That's a superpower. Is he wants to be kicked. Yeah exactly.

[01:39:07] He's sort of unstoppable in that way. Because even Ronny Cox isn't like him that much. He's like he's really done my plan. This guy's a little mush. He's like oh yeah this guy he wasn't in it. Fuck that guy. Right.

[01:39:18] And then the last 20 minutes of the movie are just them going. Yeah there's a lot of people. He very cleverly realizes that he can do a live long and prosper and fit his hand onto the activator. That shouldn't be a thing that works by the way.

[01:39:31] It looks like a fingerprint reader. He does not have an alien hand. Maybe Benny's hand could have done it. The grooves are totally different. Oh that's what he should have had to do right? He runs back to the drill car.

[01:39:41] He's like he's going to rip it right off of his corpse and go and flap it down right on him. That would be great. And I was like no too violent. You can't be ripping people's arms. My goodness. He's drinking a change.

[01:39:53] But he activates it and no one really knows. It's like the omega-13. No one knows what it's going to do. Right. But then suddenly the air starts coming back to the people of Mars. But it takes a while. It takes a while.

[01:40:05] And as you said there are 15 minutes of him and Rachel to Cotin. There has to be a point when your face turns into a cartoon that it can't come back. I don't care when the, like you don't even like it. It should have after effects. Yeah exactly.

[01:40:17] Your eyes are half out. Your eyes are half out. And I know 100% that the shot is just the earlier shot reversed. But that shot where his bulged eyeballs go back into his skull is gorgeous. It's unbelievable. I really, I love this movie. I enjoy all the crazy violence.

[01:40:34] I do struggle a little bit with the bulging eyes. It just goes on for so long. And then Ronnie Cox dies in the same way. Right. We have him earlier do it. Two of them there. And we also had at the beginning in the earlier dream sequence. Yep.

[01:40:48] Right at the beginning. We've seen the gag at this point. They liked that gag. Yeah. They spent and they, yeah. I mean, yeah you pay for a fucked up looking puppet like that man. I mean you're going to get your money's worth. Three of them.

[01:40:58] I mean come on. But then finally the system boots up and then Mars just starts looking like Connecticut. Blue Scott is all the red is gone. And I was like, I had this crazy thought maybe this is a dream. Probably not. Don't worry about it. Like that's it.

[01:41:11] Let's make out. They kiss and it fades to white. And Verhoeven gives himself a lot of credit for the fade to white. Oh really? Because he felt like it was more sort of ambiguous than a fade to black. Sure, sure, sure. Right?

[01:41:23] Well I mean it's like a brighter color. It's white. It's like waking up perhaps. Yes. You know. And the top is still whatever the fuck in that movie. I think that's the end of the, that's what that movie is called. The Top Whatever the Fuck In.

[01:41:36] Top Whatever the Fuck In. Yeah. And this movie was crazy successful. Huge hit. They talk about in that DVD. Ebert loved it. Gleberman loved it. Janet Maslin said that it was disgustingly violent. That sounds about right for J-Mas. Yep.

[01:41:49] Verhoeven's in a pocket now where he's making these movies where even like high brow critics are like, fuck, he's good. I shouldn't like this movie. But the guy's a craftsman. Like he knows what he's doing and there's like some smarts up play here.

[01:42:01] They talk about in that documentary on DVD that they like had put so much money into this movie. And Schwarzenegger was such a big star, but the concept was kind of like complex for that period of time and hard to sum up in a trailer.

[01:42:15] And the awareness was like really low. Like six, eight weeks before the movie came out, no one knew about it. When there was more sort of long lead press for films and they just did like a blitz and spent a crazy amount of marketing

[01:42:30] in the last two months and got the awareness up to like 95% and then had this massive opening weekend. This movie was kind of a cornerstone in like the like front-loading. The shift to like the huge last minute marketing push towards the huge opening weekend

[01:42:44] and making a movie feel like an event just through omnipresence. Like it was just Schwarzenegger, total recall, a picture of Mars. I remember the billboards. It's just his head. It was his head in the planet behind him and it was just like Schwarzenegger's going to space.

[01:42:57] That's all you need to know. But it's also fascinating this is like this made out of you know, Bukubaks. And this is like a hard R. Big hats off to you for Bukubaks. I always am happy to hear Bukubaks. Sure man, it's great. It's a great term.

[01:43:10] But like to think about it like we were so scared of that until like what fucking Deadpool came out last year and was like oh yeah, hard R things can be mega successful again. We don't have to dumb things down

[01:43:22] to get that PG-13 to get people in the seats. And that's the crazy thing about Schwarzenegger was he was this huge movie star and he was very popular with kids and he was mostly an R rated actor. You know even Terminator 2

[01:43:34] which like you can slam it for being more family friendly it's still an R rated movie. It's a hard R. You know it's a hard R for children. Like the whole appeal to Schwarzenegger was he was like the thing that was

[01:43:45] it made you feel like a grown up if your dad let you watch a Schwarzenegger. That movie is also kind of brilliantly constructed that way too because you can kind of show that movie to a kid and it's fine.

[01:43:55] You know no one's childhood is going to be ruined because they watch T2. Right, right. Very true. My childhood wasn't ruined. I was fine. Who could say? I wonder if the twist would have been more explicit like if it would have a hard twist ending

[01:44:08] if it was like 95. Like you know what I mean? Like I feel like the mid 90s were obsessed with like Oh it's a movie. What's the twist? Yeah. Why are we gonna go see a movie if it's not a twist ending? Right.

[01:44:18] So I feel like if this movie is made seven years later it's like and then at the end it is actually a dream. Or I think they would have spent more shoe leather setting up the is it isn't it. Which I love that this movie is just like

[01:44:31] just fucking just watch it. Exactly. Fun and joy it. You like accept the... Is it a dream? Is any movie a dream? Fuck you. Right. And I think the key move is that like... Mom's a dream. The movie is a straight line, right?

[01:44:43] Like it just keeps on fucking moving and moving forward and getting more and more extreme but even at the beginning it's so hyper real just from the casting of these two main actors that's like the early shit isn't any more believable than the later shit. No, right.

[01:44:57] So like you just have to buy the whole thing, you know? Anyway, I think it's a good movie. We're gonna play the box office game. The one, the Oscar for best visual effects. Just want to point that out. And did it win a makeup Oscar? No.

[01:45:08] I don't think there may... There may not have been one of those. See, I think this might have been a film that won an honorary. No, won an honorary visual effects Oscar. Oh, that's what it was. Okay, right. And there wasn't a category then. No, actually there was.

[01:45:18] Dick Tracy won it. Weird. Wow. So it won a special commendation? It won a special visual effects Oscar because I guess there was no visual effects category that year. You know, sometimes they would do that. Oh, just think makeup was Dick Tracy. Makeup winner was Dick Tracy,

[01:45:32] Sirenow de Bourgerac and Ibera Scissorhands with the other two nominees. Weird. Sirenow, I mean he's got a nose. Okay. Yeah. Whole makeup nomination is necessary. All right. So it opened, the box office game guys. We're gonna... Griffin's gonna try and guess the box office. Okay.

[01:45:49] So we're gonna go ahead and guess the box office of June 1st, 1990. Wow. Middle of summer. Yeah. It opens to $25 million. Huge open-air job. It made to... No, that's adjusted. Fuck that. It made like $119 million, something like that. So let's like, I mean this is 1990.

[01:46:09] 1989 Batman, I think it's the first movie to do 40 opening weekends. Damn. So like 25 is still like upper echelon. That's a big deal. Yeah. Yes, so it made $119. Okay. So number two is the third part in a trilogy of movies. It ends here. Come on. It ends here.

[01:46:29] Come on because you think you know it already? Yeah. 1990 third part in a trilogy that ends here. I'll say this one's easier than the fucking next one. Really? And you think this is a gimmie? I don't have it. I think it is. Yeah, I do.

[01:46:44] It's an action franchise? Oh, it's Back to the Future Part III. Bingo guys, good job. That was like the Godfather part. That really did. I believe that is 1990. Yeah, Back to the Future Part III.

[01:46:58] Yeah, Back to the Future Part III which is kind of a flop, like low key. It made 85. That's under 100. Yeah, you know, not great. Because the first one's like... I mean still like a lot of money by today's stand. Are you talking final domestic or worldwide? Domestic. Okay.

[01:47:11] Domestic. We stick to domestic. What was the final domestic then? Back to the Future Part III, $87 million. Which is still profitable and big. Way more than a double-it's budget. The first one does like way over 200. The second one does way over 100. There's like diminishing returns.

[01:47:25] It's the third time you're asking this of people. Right. You know. There also is that weird thing where it's like Back to the Future 1 is like a movie that uses time travel as means to an end to tell this like story about like

[01:47:36] what if you were the same age as your parents? Back to the Future 2 leans in and is like what if it's just fucking we investigate all the notions of time travel? Back to the Future 3 is like Bobby Z. You wanted to make a Western.

[01:47:46] It's so small in ambition. But they just they and they don't have any bones about telling you that. No, no, they straight up would be like, yeah, I don't know. I love Western. One thing we want to do. Yeah, great.

[01:47:57] We want to put Christopher Lloyd in a cowboy hat. Okay. Number three. Number three is a new release this weekend as well. It's based an action comedy with the title based on a Leonard Cohen song. The title is a Leonard Cohen song. I just like that fact.

[01:48:13] I'm your man? No. It's got two major stars, male, you know, a man and a woman and like the poster is like their first name. It's like blah and blah as if it's like we've been waiting for them to be together. It's not bird on a wire.

[01:48:28] It's bird on a wire. John Adams bird on a wire with. Mel and Goldie. That's how I remember it because that was always a weird video box that was just like were we all waiting for Mel and Goldie?

[01:48:41] We were waiting supporting performance from Steven Tobolowski in that movie. I've never seen that one. Bill Duke, David Karadine. Bill Duke, man. I fucking love Bill Duke. Nice little character actor. How is it Bill Duke in total recall? That's a great question. Did they have a falling out?

[01:48:55] Maybe. Fuck. I hope that didn't happen. I hope there's still friends to this day. Are you kidding me? Someone tweeted the other day. I mean by the time this comes out it will have been 15 years ago. The tweeter's dead.

[01:49:06] But someone tweeted the other day like in the 1980s the way you read it. The way you wrote character development was that one guy in Predator's whole thing is just that he's always shaving.

[01:49:17] That's like Bill Duke's bit in that movie is the stages of where he's at in his shave. Number four is a romantic comedy that opened in March. So it's been out for three months. It's made $125 million. It's going to make 50 more million dollars.

[01:49:34] It just hangs out all year. It was the biggest movie of the year. It was the number one movie of the year? It's Ghost. You're going to make me look it up. It's Ghost? No, it's not Ghost. It's not Ghost.

[01:49:45] Okay, Two-Hander I presume most romantic films are Two-Handers. It's a romcom Two-Hander. No, Ghost was the number one movie of the year. Good call. And Home Alone was the number two movie of the year. And this was number three? It's a big romantic comedy. 160.

[01:50:00] Did these two actors do another film together? Yes they do. Is it a Hanks and Ryan? Nope. Interesting. I know what it is. It is Pretty Woman. Dickie Gear, Julie Rods. Okay, well done. Thank you. Yep, it's a Disney film. Yes.

[01:50:18] I mean, you know, whatever Touchstone or whatever it was. That's not funny to think about. That's a big deal. That was a big deal for them that they were like, hey look, Disney makes movies about sex workers now. Yeah, they are very realistic.

[01:50:29] Right, it's still that movie follows the exact classic arc of a Disney movie. It just has different outfits. I think Rom is dead in that movie too. Yes, truly. She's like a Disney princess in that movie. You're right.

[01:50:42] It's also that talking rabbit is a comedy starring one of the big comedy actors of the era that I swear to God the pitch is just like, what if this guy had this job? I don't know how to fucking describe this movie. There were too many of them.

[01:51:02] Exactly. I don't know. That was replaced in the 2000s. You know, like that formula was replaced in the 2000s by what if Will Ferrell played this sport? Yes. That's what that became. Yep. What if this guy had this job from the 90s is one big search.

[01:51:18] It's not Eddie Murphy. I assume you use that as a funny example. It's a white man who has a job. He should not be holding down. I don't know. No, he should be holding it down.

[01:51:27] He's wearing a suit with a tie on the cover and he's kind of going like this. I'm really narrowing it down, right? It's got a mustache. It's got a mustache. Do you need more clues? Annabella Schorra and Fran Drescher are in this movie.

[01:51:44] As is Laurie Petty, your favorite tank girl herself. The film was not a success. Big comedy star. Directed by Roger Donaldson, the famous New Zealand director. Yeah. So where is this in this comedy stars career? I guess, you know, he's hot. He's hot hot hot.

[01:52:04] But this one doesn't do well. Has he passed his peak? No, he's still had glory days ahead of him. He's got glory days ahead. He's got a stereotype of this job. Sure. It's kind of a tough clue, but yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[01:52:20] If you get this, my mind is blown. Is it catalytic man? It's catalytic man. Starring. He is making that expression in the poster. And the mustache and living up to the job. I will show you clues. Clues. The poster is a bunch of...

[01:52:37] But like, isn't that literally it's just like, what if Robin Williams was a car salesman? It's a movie you're going to go see. You got me. Like, is the bit just like car salesman? They're jerks. I think kind of. Are we done? Let's make the movie.

[01:52:55] Tim Robbins, I believe. Yes. So that's your top five. Yeah, other movies you got to have Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which is a huge hit of the year. It was the biggest independent film of all time.

[01:53:06] A Hunt for Red October, which is a great movie that I love dearly about a nerd who goes to a submarine. He's so nerdy in that movie. Working title. Jovers The Volcano. Oh, so there was a Hanks and Ryan in there. That's true.

[01:53:21] Yes, they're at least successful effort. All right, we're done. We did it. Thank you so much for being on the show. Of course, thank you. I hope you had fun. It was nice to talk about a movie. We're going to say it's a good movie.

[01:53:32] Yeah, good fun movie. Well, I'll leave you with this. They just greenlit a murder on the Orient Express sequel. How to be written and directed and starring Kenneth Branagh. Really? Congrats to him. That doesn't make any difference. Don't worry guys, you'll have material for it.

[01:53:48] Is it going to be a murder on the Nile? Death on the Nile. That's what they do in the fucking end of the movie. Oh really? Wait, they have a fucking post credits teaser. Someone literally... It's the last lines of the film. Someone's comes up to him.

[01:53:59] It's like a phone ring. Someone's like, the Nile's calling. Are you Hercule Porot, sir? No. Hercule Porot is on vacation. He does that. But why do you ask? And he's like, there's a... Death. I swear to God, that's what he fucking says.

[01:54:15] Does he flip it over and it's a fucking card of the Joker on it? It's a postcard from the Nile. There's been a death on the Nile. A flair for the theatrical. Like you. No, but he does say there's been a death on the Nile.

[01:54:27] That dude, we gotta go see this movie immediately. I went to see it. I was sick. Like fighting a cold, wanted to be in bed, but I had to do a comedy show with my sketch team, Nipsey, at the UCB Theater.

[01:54:40] And there was a three hour chunk of time between our tech rehearsal and our show. And I was like, I don't have time to go home and take a nap. I need to do something. Maybe I'll go sleep in the theater? That's how I saw Smoke and Aces.

[01:54:51] Truly. So I was like, Matt and A, I'm gonna pay $8.75 to see Murder on the Orange Express. That's the way you do it? If I don't like it 30 minutes in, I'm writing this off as a nap. And that's exactly what I did.

[01:55:01] I saw the character introductions, I saw Perot solve it, and I saw that ending. I have no idea what happened to the Nile. I think you missed Johnny Depp getting stabbed over and over again. I saw his introduction and that's when I said, 99% of the time.

[01:55:14] I saw him doing a lot of business and I said, Fade o' dole. I need to see it. I'm gonna move past that one. Can I tell you something? Definitively you do not need to see that movie. I need to board the Orange Express.

[01:55:25] Boarded the one driven by Lumet. Yeah. Guys, thanks for coming guys. Listen to We Hate Movies. Yeah, what the hey? You could find us on Twitter. We also have a Patreon as well. Hey. It's like about Boku Box. It's something else. Yeah. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe.

[01:55:47] Agreed. Thanks to Ant for a good over social media, Joe Bowen Pat Reynolds for our artwork, Lea Montgomery for our theme song. And as always, don't make the three boobs that good. It's fine if they're okay. It's actually better if they're okay. I need to pee. Great.

[01:56:05] Thank you.